#its just this time i posted about it
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there is something deeply wrong with me but I dont know what it is
like bestie im not talented im traumatized. Im not wasting a gift im trying to keep myself from plunging a knife in my chest and bleeding out in my bed. Like void, please shut the fuck up.
but then when other people vent to me, even if I TRY to care, I just dont. Like im sorry. I want you to feel better. But wtf am I meant to do. Like sorrows, sorrows, but I cant even deal with my own emotions what makes you think I can help with yours???????? And then I TRY. I TRY to help knowing that I cant, I TRY to care even though I dont, I TRY to make it known that I want them to feel loved and cared for, but nothing works. And then I feel like a piece of shit who deserves to rot away in a corner for all eternity!!!
Oh and speaking of rotting away, SCHOOL. I can't pay attention. Like if its not interesting I just zone out and start questioning my reality. And then im like 'wtf are we doing now'. Its actual torture what. And when I TRY to pay attention and actually LEARN I literally just end up drawing on my paper or my mind starts to wander. BUT THEN THE FUCKING THINGS MY TEACHERS ARE SAYING MAKE NO SENSE!! LIKE GIRLIE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME THROUGH A THOROUGH STEP MY STEP PROCESS HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS. And then I DONT SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY HAND CHOPPED OFF THEN SPEAK TO A TEACHER. Like. Then, everyone else seems to immediately understand everything?? Some people talk back to teachers??? Some people WANT to talk to teachers??? Who are you and how. Oh and then my classmates??? Literally horrible. I want them to die. Thankfully i have a couple friends in my classes which makes it a bit more bearable, but NO KEENAN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, STOP DANCING AND SCREAMING, STOP BEING SO UNBEARABLE, STOP BEING A DICK. LIKE DUDE I BET YOU DONT EVEN GOT ONE. LITERALLY STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. And its this one certain friend group who is actually the WORST. Like im TRYING to pay attention and then all of a sudden one of these kids starts yelling at another, stuff is thrown, and nothing gets done. BUT THEN THE TEACHERS DO NOTHING. THEY DONT CARE. BUT THEN WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE TALKS EVEN ONCE ITS IMMIDIATELY PRINCIPLES OFFICE???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME.
oh and then out of school isn't even better at all. I just want to waste away in my room. Everything always hurts and I just want to be with friends but I know that nobody can or wants to hang out with a sad waste of oxygen like me. And then when im trying to go to bed I just hear the crashing of glass, my parents having a screaming match, and then my mom going back to drinking her sorrows away while my dad continues to try and sleep. Like please im so tired just let me go into my happy place and attempt to die in my sleep. And then whenever its even around 6:00 my mom immediately starts acting drunk even if she's had nothing so what the fuck is up with that. And then she tries to gaslight me into doing things??? Like at this point im immune. I dont even give any fucks anymore because I tried doing that and it just got me hurt. So why even care anymore. So what the fuck is the point in trying to live laugh love when I just wanna off myself. Like no. Die cry hate is my new motto at this point.
and then, to top it all off, if I try venting ANYTHING to the one person I know who understands, he just asks 'oh, is it your time of the month?'
like please just kill me at this point. Take me out of the hell called living. Im so close to just dying please help.
#vent#holy fuck this is long but I needed to just get this out#i know I shouldn't vent online but I have nobody to talk to this about and I dont got any bottles left to put this in#Star.TXT document#pleease dont be concerned abt me its just me being not okay again#its just this time i posted about it
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bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"
#gravity falls#gf nevermind all that#the book of bill#bill cipher#dipper pines#theres a tag now so im not gonna link all the context in the post anymore#i have no confidence this one is even funny i just wanted to draw them#we talk about this all the time but its endlessly funny that stump made a billford au and both of us have been like.#so mabel and dipper right? how are mabel and dipper how are they handling the situations. just fine it seems
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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long way home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#maybe doing bg studies is the activity of choice while waiting fr leaks its so good 2 zone out n not think fr hours#can't stress about canon if you're busy studying window grates and ac units#this ws gonna start as a more train station-y piece#but as i am wont to do i got swept up during my pinterest dive#brought me further and further in2 small town train crossings and i thought they looked so cute#so i am like. puts itfs there :)#i love the idea of them just . meandering whatever quiet town they end up settling down tgt in post-canon#discovering hidden alleys n meeting all the strays holding hands th entire time....#i am manifesting PEACE and TRANQUILITY goddamn it#also i realized after the last domestic itfs series tht my use of red is at an all time low?????? leaning heavy in2 the green/yellow lately#here also . but i like the lil pops of red i included i think it centers them#happy w this!! happy w my me!! as long as i ignore the fact that indoor environments exist maybe backgrounds arent all tht bad :3
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It's still surprising to see people say that when they see the upcoming strike post I made that this is the first time they're hearing about it, especially because I've seen several posts now talking about the same strike.
That being said: regardless of what kind of blog you are, please spread the news about the genocide, the strikes, boycotts, etc.
Even if you are a small blog, spreading word allows for more people to know what's going on and also do their part in protests and strikes, and maybe even the right people will be able to do more than what you're able to do.
And reminder: there is an upcoming strike on February 18th-25th. Prepare accordingly, protest, boycott, call your reps, and spread the word so more people are aware.
#ceasefire now#free palestine#palestine#it still stuns me because i can count maybe 3 different posts myself included that has all the information about the strikes#and just this morning someone rb mine saying this is the first time theyre hearing of it#do you see why its important to keep talking?#i'm not going to apologize for suddenly posting this midway through clearing my likes. it's important#free gaza#gaza#congo#free congo
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post from my priv sorry i cooked
#my truth#adventure time#finn mertens#<- nobody posts about him and i feel bad for other finn fans#i see the vision with trans boy finn but also its just really funny if hes cis#finn the human
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ok stupid question my bad
#ace attorney#is he joking or is he serious? this is the power of autism.#sorry if its hard to read i thought about posting them as separate images but it it just didnt have the same impact i wanted#the amount of times ive drawn just stupid comics making fun of edgeworth im sorry guys#id in alt text by wright-phoenix. thank you
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alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#almost posted this to the wrong blog omg i wouldve thrown up#this dumb as hell forgive me chat#unrelated i thought today was sunday but no it's. 4AM saturday THAT MEANS ITS CHERIK POSTING TIME#i thought of binning this like five times but ive convinced myself i like enough of this to keep it#at the very least im making myself chortle at the mini charles in the corner. like yeah that about summarizes it donnit#anyway the reason why we're here. highkey just wanted charles to grab his waist SORRY#and this was the first thing i thought of so. Apocalypse But Erik Directs The Ending jvlkeajl#my god i was gonna say something else but. i forgot#oh wait no i remember hold on. uhhh something something charles shouldve fought harder or whatever erik said in dofp#dofp IS before apocalypse i know this but it applicable. probably. im not gonna think bout it on whats essentially a shitpost#ok im sleeping now bye. ive got more doodles i wanna do but my god im sleepy. or at least i should sleep
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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
#captain's posts#this has been haunting me#the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man#basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse#because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue#and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking#i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul#danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm#danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters#also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa#dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dick: Oh-#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc
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onion skin!
fun gif under cut
now you get to pretend that ur flipping through the frames
#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#kageyama shigeo#officially my 4th drawing of mob holding his hand out in an empty void#this time... he is doing it more than once. daring today arent we#maybe i shouldactually post those drawings now that im thinking about it LMFAO#new and improved art tag#this wasnt gonna be a gif at first so thats why its just. like. a bonus thing#welcoem to my post Here's a giftbag
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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4. Night clothes Jamil Viperrr
You know this is fake because they’d never let his hair out. But i’m in charge here (September edit: NEVER FREAKING MIND 🏳️.)
the meme 2024 edition (followers only)
#my art#jamil viper#twisted wonderland#he seems like the kind of guy who lets his pants sag 😩 just a bit#he’s just that cool and hip#for 2002 anyway.#also its sleep time who cares about appearances#EDIT IN SEPTEMBER: TWST REVEALS THE LORE AND THEY CAME UP WITH SOMETHING I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER#POST CANCELLED
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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In honour of mha ending, have some old (and i mean OLD) miryumi scribbles i never got around to posting. They were the main characters in my heart
#these are like a year and a half old#ive been in the rarepair game for longer than some kids have been alive#it aint much but its honest work#i genuinely would be unable to explain the chokehold miryumi has on me after all this time#have they ever canonically interacted? no#(that i know of lol i havent caught up on the manga in over a year)#do they have anything directly in common? no#is there any reason i would ever have shipped them if i hadnt seen a habkart valentines post they never came back to? also no#did they proceed to occupy a permanent place in my frontal lobe forever? but of course#they really are THEE ship to me#peak comfort ship#i love that horikoshi developed them just enough for me to have solid base material for their personalities#but also gave them the woman in shonen treatment just enough that i can say anything i want about them and canon doesnt contradict it#anyways!! them again#fuyumi todoroki#rumi usagiyama#mirko#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#wlw#chiquilines draws
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theyre soft your honour
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#okkotsu yuuta#inumaki toge#inuokko#inumaki#yuuta#fanart#jjk fanart#timelapse#long time no canon fits !!!#still having the time of my life playing with these brushes#i was just gna do a regular draws to slap on the ask i just got but i decided 2 record it last minute fgdgd#didnt know if an mp4 file would cooperate if i tried to put it under an ask so i played it safe#but know this is fr u anon <3#i ..... cannot believe i am continuing my streak from last night of Forgetting very key and very obvious design elements#last night it was yuuij's sukuna scars.... today it is inumaki's tattoos.......#smh im Slipping fr#breaking news tumblr user hinamie fake jjk fan And fake fanartist :C#its ok tho ! crisis averted!! me forgetting them may be caught in 4k but i Did catch myself before posting th video#that would have been tragic i would have been chased out of this fandom with pitchforks. i wld have been pelted with rocks#anyway i like this piece a lot i like them i like the black/white/blue#VERY happy i got yuuta's hair right without too much hassel#turns out i know how to draw and references r a godsend <3#oh also !!! @ the person who asked about my colouring process this is what i was talking abt re: painting with an underpaint layer#helps everything look cohesive :3
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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