#im worried ngl but i think for now we are just still in a positive bubble that it will be taken care of once the appendix is removed

[jyeoful]

Happy Vacation!

It's been 5 years since we took a plane, and despite the little planning wrinkles (flashbacks to me bawling cos Bro kept attacking me for not checking the dates and school was in fact not out yet), I'm so thankful for a good trip with the parents

Look how happy they are!

Some rain won't get us down. In fact, thank God again for keeping the weather good enough for us! Even when it was raining it wasn't bad or too long or cold, despite the weather forecast being awfully foreboding

I'm always thankful for quality time with my folks, and I was abit fearful that years focusing on the grandkids might make them keep missing them, but it seems they were alright and enjoying the moments. Thankful also that they could walk well still and enjoying all the nature spots 🥹 Speaking of, God is so wonderful for his creations

I mean, LOOK

More smiling faces cos I love us so much and thank God for this whole trip really. That the hotel was good too and so comfortable and everything

[miupow]

최승철 ─── 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗜 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗠𝗔𝗦 !

seungcheol finally knows exactly what to get you for christmas this year.

★ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴。。。choi seungcheol x fem!reader 𝗴。⧼ 🔖 ⧽ ⸝⸝ smut , fluff , pwp

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 。。。marriage au・husband!seungcheol・mentions of babies , pregnancy , and family planning・breeding kink・creampies・strength kink・big dick cheol is a warning within itself・dirty talk・daddy kink・praise kink ⸝⸝ ‎ 𝘄𝗰。1. 6 k | 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗿𝘆。

𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 from @jenoslutie ; cheol + breeding kink for christmas please !

♬ have yourself a merry little christmas 一 phoebe bridgers

notes from lia。idk how i feel about this one im ngl... but i wrote it and it's here! all feedback and reblogs are appreciated ^_^ i hope you all enjoy!

seungcheol’s grip on the steering wheel is so tight you’re beginning to worry that he’s cutting the circulation to his fingers. his usually plump lips are fixed in a thin line, his sharp jaw ticking as he grinds his teeth and stares unblinking out onto the dark, snowy road out in front of him.

“baby? is something wrong?” you ask gently, shooting him a confused and concerned quirk of your brow. he had seemed completely fine when the two of you had left your parent’s house earlier, christmas dinner still heavy in your bellies as you lingered to kiss your new baby niece goodbye. you were positive that you hadn’t done anything to upset him in the few short minutes since then either, but you could never be too sure. maybe you had forgotten something. you would never put it past you.

it’s almost as if the sound of your voice wakes him out of a trance, his neck snapping to the side to blink owlishly at you. “huh?”

you open your mouth to repeat yourself, but it seems that your words finally register when his eyes go wide and his ears go pink, blush deepening as he sharply turns his gaze back to the road. “oh, i-i’m fine, great, nothing’s wrong.”

he slides his hand across the console to squeeze your knee, the heat of his big hand sending exciting jolts up your thigh to your core. usually it was a comforting gesture from him, but the way his calloused fingertips dug into your skin was unusually tight and bruising.

“you look like something’s on your mind,” you prod, resisting the urge to squeeze your thighs together. you can’t help but enjoy it when he’s rough with you, no matter the cause.

“just thinkin’.” seungcheol responds dismissively, the faraway look in his eyes unreadable.

“about…?”

“you with your niece.” he finally admits with a wistful sigh, his hand sliding from your knee up the inside of your thigh. you widen your legs to allow his venture thoughtlessly. “you’re so good with her, baby… you’d be such a good mother, i just know it.”

“you really think so?” you gush. “you know how badly i’ve always wanted kids… i’m a little jealous that my sister beat me to it. don’t get me wrong, i love babying kkuma too, but…”

you turn to gaze out at all the neighbors christmas lights you drive past, glittering so beautifully in the dark and snow, fully expecting the conversation to end there— you and seungcheol have only been married for a short while, stuck in an awkward sort of limbo where you were stuck between wanting to truly settle down and wanting to advance your careers. this sort of talk always made him uneasy, and he usually let these conversations die without much input at all. it made you a little sad, but you understood why he was hesitant. his career was always of the utmost importance to him.

but instead of silence, seungcheol blurted out; “i know what to give you for christmas this year.”

your head swiveled back to cock at him oddly, a confused smile beginning to tug at your cherry red lips. “just now? cheolie, christmas is today.”

“you’ll understand when we get home.” is all he said more.

and it did finally hit you, once you arrived at your house and stepped foot inside— in the blink of an eye seungcheol had you pressed up against the front door, his thick muscular arms pinning you effortlessly against the hard, cold wood. he steals your breath with a blazing kiss, filthy and debauched and entirely out of left field, swallowing down your high-pitched moan when he reaches down to grab a rough handful of your ass through your dress. you claw weakly at his flannel shirt, taken by complete surprise and unable to do anything else but melt against his lips and touch.

“cheolie, wait,” you whimper when he breaks the kiss, chest heaving as you search fruitlessly for words to say. seungcheol’s pretty plump lips are smeared with red from your lipstick.

“i’m going to give you a baby for christmas,” he growls, hot breath fanning your flushed face. “how about that, baby, hm? i’ll make you a mommy, just like you want…”

“oh, please,” you breathe out in rapture, leaning in for another heated, heavy kiss.

he takes his time with you, kissing away all your impatient whines— effortlessly he picks you up bridal style, just as he had on your wedding day, and carries you to the bedroom to spread you out gently across the king-sized bed. the veins in his biceps bulge deliciously, your mouth watering at the sight as he tugs his shirt off and over his head. he doesn’t give you enough time to appreciate his body in all its glory, unfortunately; like a man possessed he climbs on top of you and tears wildly at your clothes. you’re both naked before you can register it, your sparkly dress a crumpled heap on the floor, your panties, the same holiday red as your lipstick, caught on your ankle as seungcheol spreads your legs wide.

“i don’t need fingers,” you plead when you feel his blunt fingertips tease at your dripping folds, your husband always so tentative even when he’s worked up. “please, just need you inside of me.”

“a-are you sure?” seungcheol huffs, his pretty brown eyes blown wide and wild in arousal. you still struggle to take him most nights, even after all these years… but that painfully delicious burn is all that you craved to feel.

he relents with a nod of your head, retracting his hand to grip the meat of your thigh. he props your legs on his shoulders, giving the inside of your knee a quick kiss before positioning himself at your entrance. your pussy is so wet that his cock slides into you without much resistance, down to the hilt in one slow thrust. the stretch makes your eyes roll back in your head with a low, broken moan, so dizzyingly deep inside of you that it felt as if his fat, bulbous tip was prodding at your belly. he makes no movements, intent on letting you adjust to his size for a moment, but you’re far too impatient and greedy for your gift— with your arms shaking like jelly you lift yourself up off the bedsheets just enough to give the man above you a wanton, desperate pout. “fuck me, cheolie,” you beg him, “put a baby in me, please!”

he doesn’t have to be told twice; with a defeated groan seungcheol relents, slowly withdrawing his cock from your pulsing cunt before thrusting back inside with vigor. the rhythm he quickly builds is brutal, his long thick cock dragging against your gummy walls blissfully, hitting every sensitive spot you had. his fat heavy balls slap wetly against your ass with every thrust of his hips, the obscene clapping sound adding to the symphony of squelches from your pussy and moans from both of your mouths. your arms give out and you fall crashing back into the pillows, your face burning from the filthiness of it all. the pathetic little mewls tumbling from your lips sound borderline pornographic— he makes you cry out every time his cockhead slams against your cervix, admiring you spread out underneath him with a crooked grin. you’re sure he’s never fucked you this hard before, your climax racing to a crescendo before you could even begin to process it. and you didn’t have to ask to know that seungcheol was close too; the way he gripped your thighs was unmistakable, no doubt leaving dusky purple fingerprints in his wake as he bent you nearly in half and rose from his knees to fuck into you even harder.

“such good pussy,” seungcheol growls, more to himself than to you, throwing his head back in pleasure as his thrusts pick up even more speed. “fuck, i love this pussy so much. so fuckin’ wet and tight—"

his big hands held your ass in the air, your back arching off of the bed in a curve that you knew drove him wild. your knees were nearly knocking against your face, your core burning from the stretch to the point it was almost painful, but you couldn’t focus on anything other than the dizzying, mind-blowing pleasure that ignited your entire body. your thighs began to shake in seungcheol’s grasp, just on the edge of your orgasm… but you and him both knew you couldn’t cum from just this alone.

“daddy!” you cry, tears welling in your eyes as you try to reach for your clit yourself, “daddy, i wanna cum, please!”

seungcheol smacks your hand away and replaces it with his own, his talented fingers rubbing tight circles against the engorged bundle of nerves. “that’s it, scream for daddy,” he goads with a breathless chuckle, “gonna make me a daddy, yeah? gonna take all this cum like a good girl? come on, cum with daddy.”

your orgasm hits you like a train, your cunt clamping around seungcheol’s cock like a vice, milking him for all he’s worth as you gush and squirt around him. with a deep, animalistic grunt he cums as well, hot thick white ropes filling your needy pussy up until it was overflowing and dripping down onto the sheets. you feel so full and satiated, tummy warm with his sticky seed, seungcheol’s thrusts growing weaker and slower as you both come crashing down from your highs. gently, he places you back down onto the bed, untangles your limbs and kisses your aching joints as if in apology.

“did so good, baby,” he chuckles, leaning down to press another chaste kiss to your tummy. “merry christmas to you and the little one.”

[kairiscorner]

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

my insomniac ahh had to make this, so imagine:

the atsv babes with an insomniac partner (part 1 !)

miles would probably not have been bothered if you texted him in the middle of the night, well a little disoriented because he was in the middle of sleeping peacefully, but when it came to you, nothing was a bother. he would be worried though, like you messaging him at that time? it had to have been important. so he checks your messages and just chuckles to himself when you text him, "miles bb i cant sleep tell me a story :(" he'd text you back, "want me 2 swing u round nyc? make u feel better (´｡�� ◡ •｡`) ♡" you'd always giggle at the cute little kaomojis he'd send, they always cheered you up no matter how irritating your insomnia would get. "ngl i think i cant sleep bc of u" you text him. he raised an eyebrow and texts you back, "wdym?" as he waits for your message, miles' mind began to think that, lately, you did seem pretty lethargic and tired at school. you were caught sleeping in class once and tried to cover for you that you were both studying up late at night for your geography finals or something, when in reality, you were struggling to sleep at night. he sighed, he felt bad he couldn't help you fall asleep right then and there, but he really wanted to do something to ease your burden. it wasn't long until you texted him back a selfie of you curled up in your bed, smiling, with dark circles under your eyes and with disheveled hair all the while from all the tossing and turning. you had a caption there that said, "bc when i finally sleep i find myself missing u, dont leave me while im sleeping ok?" he blushed as he saw your cute face, even if it was tired and sleepy. he took a bed selfie of his own, the same fashion as yours--disheveled and smiling as he's tucked in, with the caption, "ofc not ill even visit ur dreams if u want me to ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)"

gwen would probably be doing her rounds as spider woman when she noticed a faint light still on by your room. she decided to check in on you, the last time that light was on, you were overworking yourself on a group project you carried all on your own she kicked those slackers' asses the next day. the minute she got there, she noticed you were tossing and turning a whole lot in your bed, clearly struggling to find the right position and spot on your bed to sleep in comfortably. she winced, you seemed really stiff and uncomfortable, you didn't look like sleep was coming to take you away to dreamland any time soon. she lightly knocked on your window, which made you get up immediately. you smiled when you saw her, and you opened the window for her. "hey," you said, clearly tired but unable to sleep. "hey." she replied with a grin as she sat by your windowsill. "can't sleep?" she asked and you nodded slowly. "that... really sucks." she said, taking her mask off to look at you. she was sorry she couldn't say anything better to help the situation, but whatever you were going through, she didn't want you to go through it alone. you laid back down on your bed, "what about you? any plans to sleep tonight, spider woman?" you asked her, to which she chuckled. "not when you're new york's only defender. and especially not when my partner is struggling to sleep on such a fine night." "well... can you maybe sit down next to me? it's not gonna be anything weird, i just... i have a feeling i couldn't sleep because of everything that's happened to us lately–i just really missed you." you say as you look up at her, now in front of you as she hopped off the windowsill and walked toward you. "like how we used to do at sleepovers?" she asked as she gently pulled up a chair and sat across from you. you smiled. "yeah... just like how we used to do at sleepovers." you said as gwen took your hand in her own. even with the suit on, it was warm. you could feel her pulse, the life in her veins and the love she had for you. "i really love you, gwen." you say as she leaned over to kiss your forehead. "love you, too. i hope you'll sleep well tonight." she said as she brushed a few stray hairs away from your face as you closed your eyes, smiling and holding her hand all the while, with her not intending nor planning to ever let you go.

[lillyspeakz]

Ngl kinda worried for tommys mental health, i know he’s been acting like a dick lately sometimes but like-

Imagine finding out that your best friend/older brother figure has been accused of abuse and that your parents are getting a divorce within like a month or a little more. Then later in the year breaking up with your girlfriend.

Personally at least I’d be crashing out, id worry about all of these things and then plus fans attacking me for still following Wilbur.

I think we have to remind ourselves that we don’t know anyone who is on the internet. This could be thought of in many ways but for tommy, we knew him as this loud kid thats now an adult. I know that hes supposed to apparently “know better” (i haven’t honest heard of the bad things he’s done recently so please tell me what they are 🥲) but if we take away the fame.

Hes just some 20 yearold guy who likes comedy and tries to make people laugh. Im not excusing his behavior and im sorry if it sounds like i am but like- aaaa we’re all literally human! We don’t honestly know why he unfollowed Wilbur. Maybe its bc hes more in the public image or his manager told him. Idk i cant read minds, but please to anyone reading this, take a breath and think about what youd do if you were in his position. Id be nervous as hell and just trying to do something right. Thank you for reading, im truly sorry if i offended anyone but i needed to get it off my chest 😭 have an awesome night everyone.

No I agree with you love!!! We don’t know them, and I personally don’t want too. All I think is, it’s upsetting that he is now unfollowing him once everything has come out for him. The show; the song, etc.

And i worry about him too, don’t get me wrong. I just hope he has thought all of this through.

[vivisols]

Hi Vivisols! Or i guess Vivian now, feels disrespectful to call you that for some reason because its been too long.

Im one of your long time missing anons! I bet you wont guess who until the end! Hehe

Just wanted to stop by and say hi! For the first time in ages, I’m soooooo sorry to have left out of the blue without a proper goodbye, and I know despite my anon status it felt like we were good enough acquaintances that you deserved a goodbye!

Are you well? I hope so! Any new projects? Anything I’ve missed?

I’ve been quite okay despite it all! And Ive been thinking about your fics a lot recently, I’ll definitely be rereading them soon. And hey! Maybe I’ll stop on by when I’ve done so!

Here’s something positive before I sign off.

From what little we’ve interacted, I’ve always gotten a determined feeling from you, a confident attitude. You’ve always seemed like the type to keep pushing even when times got tough, or the very least pick yourself up, and try again, and I hope you keep that quality.

Enjoy yourself and the time you have, be cringe and free, share every story you’ve ever wanted to share, even if you dont finish them, and love what you want to love.

Your soul is beautiful, thank you for letting it thrive.

Goodbye for now, but definitely not forever!

Yours truly,

~Recommendation Anon~

P.S. I have nothing to recommend! Im so mad! It would’ve been so fun to just plop something in your hands before leaving again. Maybe reread a story you havent thought about in awhile! I always love giving my favorites a reread. Okay bye bye! ❤️

AW SHUCKS HELLO!!!!! ITS BEEN A WHILE BUT ITS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AFTER SO LONG!!!!! :DDDD

don't even worry about it!!!!!! things happen all the time and I got wayyy too busy myself this year... hope you had a good one at least! xD

personally, im doing good! save for the giant bit of writers block thats been plaguing me for months xP ive got a lotta plans and none of them want to come to fruition!!! terrible!!!!!! buuuut im definitely gonna keep trying to wrangle SOMETHING out of me before the end of the year if i can help it! even if theres only a few days left... x3

ive got a few projects I mainly wanna do planned out, particularly a new DCA fic and a DCA visual novel, yet alas... writing em just doesnt wanna happen. but dont worry! this is part of the cycle for me xD i have really really REALLY good period of writing then BOOM. months of writers block lmao. so i wouldn't say you've missed much! besides me getting dragged by my hyperfixations into 300 new fandoms hahaha xD

if you do decide to reread em, feel free to come on back if you want to! i still love them deeply, nd i still love the DCA. id be down to yap about them so much x3 (also: cannot believe claw at the stars is over a year old. and the future stares back is ALMOST a year old.... the passage of time... scary)

AND THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH! that means a LOT to me to hear!! i cant express how much I needed to hear that rn but awe thank you!!!!! i teared up a little ngl THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

p.s. dont worry about it! the fact you even stopped by and wrote such a nice message means so much to me already. even if you dont have a recommendation thats a-okay!!!!! im just glad to see you still around!!! nd in the meantime, i'll see if I can dig through my extensive bookmark list for one of my long-time favs to read over breakfast x3c

[fleurriee]

okay but im really scared to dive into this one after how the last one ended… like i know she’s gonna be fine, but is it gonna hurt me?? obviously - it’s u, andra <33

…but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress… and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm.

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it.

got me crying already. neteyam is so bby & your writing makes him so much better 😫

“Thank you, light of my life…”

LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE ANDRA it’s only the second time ive heard this name and already im in love with it. i need to hear it more & i need to hear it now.

You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood.

yeah, but this is an andra story & these things happen. it’s definitely already in her system, im calling it now.

your science brain never ceases to amaze me, andra. ur so smart & the way you incorporate that into ur fics is kinda attractive?? ngl 🤭

…and you had to ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you.

impossible. she’s too innocent. it’s just ewya being goofy & having fun, definitely pushing her closer to neteyam, i can feel it.

And there is was… positive. One second.

wow that’s actually really scary. like i know she’s gonna be okay bc im only chapter 6 lmao but still?? like my heart dropped reading that. u write so well andra <33

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

hmm. my brain is working overtime. should i he worried? i never know with u andra 👀😅

You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty.

i get so sad when i think about how pandora literally could’ve been what earth was like. i’d do anything to go back to a time like that if so, bc it’s just so beautiful and so much simpler. how could we have gone from such ethereality to what we have now? humans man 🥺🙄

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back… he neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck…

TENSION!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him.

um yes please. the way she’s so adamant to reassure herself that she hates him, even going as far to say she’d rather have him kill her?? only to then say in the same sentence she wants to have him all over her body??? she’s struggling but it’s okay bc she’s cute

He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle.

🤧 neteyam deserved the FUCKING WORLD. HE WAS TOO YOUNG FFS

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’eyktan, see him become the man everybody knew he was.

YES U WILL BBY IM MANIFESTING IT!! if she’s not beside him when it happens as his mate, me and u are having words andra

…was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy… he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear…

im salivating. i need them to just fuck now, even if it’s full of anger. it’s been long enough 😫

“Did you tell her?”

��No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split seconds he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him.

umm??? bro?? this is interesting??? what aren’t we admitting??? should i be nervous???? too many questions, im starting to panic???

He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him… who would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never have to experience these burdens.”

*deep sigh* no thank you. we’re not doing that. we’re gonna move swiftly away from that, vvvv quickly 🥲

Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking into your tent at night and doing Ewya-knows-what…

oooo bby neteyam’s jealous. im a sucker for jealous neteyam so i am RELISHING in this rn.

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? …and you can chose a mate.”

is loak trying to pull?? cause ngl i’d swoon faster than i could moan his name woW THAT BOY

It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek.

With the image now seated into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything — everyone — behind.

😭😭 neteyam u beautiful jealous boy, just TELL HER U LOVE HER!!

i LOVED this andra!! you never fail - your writing is always so beautiful & this was no exception!!

& the little flashbacks u add in every now and again break my heart every single time. bc look how they used to be, and look at them now 🤧

&& what is everyone not telling her?? i feel so out of the loop and idk whether to be excited or nervous. im probably gonna go with the latter bc the way neteyam was ready to throw hands made it a little worrying… this is too much for my heart, andra, im too fragile.

also that whole section of the brothers not understanding one another was amazing, bc you really delved deep into the way they both think about one another. made me sad too bc they really did love one another, but the only way they really showed it was by sacrifices & now we’ll never get to see how that works BC NETEYAM WONT BE THERE

anyway sad feelings aside, ily andra & this was perfect & im so excited to see where you go with this. bc let’s be honest, lo’ak isn’t actually gonna try & steal her away from neteyam right? surely he knows his big bro wants her right???

lllicit Affairs | Chapter VI: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have a dark secret that would change everything between you - and neither of you are willing to share.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, Lo'ak x reader, jealous!Neteyam, both main characters thirsting for each other, mentions of lab work, disease, blood, cursing.

Word Count: 7,2k words

A/N: Chapter 6 is the chapter that sets EVERYTHING in motion for what's to come. There is a LOT to come, a lot of drama and angst, maybe some smut (? 😉) and this chapter is meant as a stepping stone to the beginning of the end. Also, realised I forgot to ever mention, that if the dialogue is ever italicised, that usually means the conversation is in Na'vi, I don't know how I have never made it clearer, but here we are.

Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and asking to be tagged, I never expected this to gain any traction and I am so grateful for people enjoying it x

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave you too much but it wasn't enough

But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

One second. 

“Just one second, Neteyammm!”, you whined, as he was trying to remove the blanket from your currently very comfortable and very warm body. 

“It’s late, come on! Early bird catches the worm, isn’t that what you people say?”

“Nobody says that, I don’t know who told you this lie.” 

“It was you!!” he says, and he’s laughing at your whinging while trying to remove the blanket. He’s not trying that hard, considering he would make an easy job out of the task if he used a tenth of his actual force, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress. You had enough of that in your life, and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm. 

You scooted on one side of the bed close to the edge, and left a big gap which you brought to his attention by patting it aggressively. 

“Press the button on the audio player and lay with me, please? I don’t feel like going out today.”

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would follow you anywhere in this world, do anything you asked of him, regardless how stupid or reckless or crazy it was. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it. 

A song he liked came on, one that he’s heard you play before and there was no doubt in his mind that he liked it better when you sang it. He circled the bed and lay in it, next to you, in the dark. 

“Thank you, light of my life.” You attached yourself to him, arms sprawled across his bare chest and legs carelessly placed on top of abdomen and hips, and sighed contently. He could feel your warm breaths on his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head to you and placed a small kiss on top of your head and listened to the soft tune filling up the room. 

“Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you”

“You’re annoying.”

“I know I am, but you love me anyway.”

I do, Neteyam thought. I really do…

Things happen in life sometimes, and it makes you lose your ability to react. There was no reaction, definitely no overreaction. You stared at the vial of blood that shattered all across the floor, all across you and your mind was blank. Almost robotically, you made your way to one of the benches and got some paper rolls and the IMS laying next to it. You carefully cleaned all of it, and spit whatever made its way to your mouth to the floor to be removed. When you were sure everything was gone, you went to the sink and removed your goggles and gloves, and scrubbed yourself clean. You felt yourself moving, picking up a bucket of water with some floor cleaner, felt yourself adding disinfectant to it and moping thoroughly, but it was like an out-of-body experience. Like you were merely a puppet executing orders from above. Cleaning everything took about an hour, after which you made your way back to your room slowly, deliberately. 

You didn’t sleep. You spent the whole night looking over everything you and the rest of the scientists have ever found out about this virus. You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood. You knew it’s not by air, you’ve seen plenty of people infected whose family was fine. So even if you do get infected, the people at the lab should be fine. Your friends would be fine. He would be fine. 

Next, incubation period. That’s a tough one, in-vitro studies show it takes the virus anywhere from 2 to 12 months to show symptoms. You don’t know how that changes in humans. You don’t know any of this shit for humans. You could be perfectly fine, you could die within the month. The thought made your blood run cold. 

You sat in your chair for the remainder of the night. Unmoving, unthinking. 

That’s how Norm found you.

“Hey, Ace. What are you doing up?”

You scrambled for a lie.

“Just woke up, actually. Listen, if you are going to check on the boy, can you please bring my supplies to the tent and tell the Sullys I won’t be in today? I was too exhausted to run any experiments yesterday so I will do it today.” 

“Oh… is everything alright? You haven’t missed a day in the village since you got your Avatar.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just worried about the boy and want to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later, if possible.”

“Alright, I can bring you back some of his blood to run as well?”

“NO!” 

Norm’s eyes widened in shock at your response and you knew you fucked up, you knew you slipped up. Calm yourself… 

“It’s just not necessary at the moment since I have other blood and I don’t want to overwhelm him, if it’s not imperative. I will retrieve some blood when I check on him tomorrow.”

Norm looked at you with a concerned look, but eventually relented.

“Ok, whatever you think, Ace.” 

“Thanks, Norm.” 

“Let me know what you find tonight. I’ll tell Jake, but they might not be happy with you.”

“You can explain it’s an emergency, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

 

You struggled to get up and get your legs to not want to collapse beneath you. Eventually, you made your way to the sink and washed, you scrubbed your face as hard as you could without removing a layer of skin, and your teeth until you felt the familiar taste of metal coat your teeth. You hoped that maybe you tried hard enough, the last 6 hours can just be erased from your life, from world. You hoped it could undo the damage that would plague you for the rest of your most likely very short life. 

Luckily, most scientists seemed to be out. Claire was teaching Na’vi kids English at Grace’s old school that Jake deemed fit to be reopened, Max left with Norm to check on the situation of the village, and most of the Avatars would be out on missions or training with Jake. You made your way to the quiet halls to one of the labs, and prepared for your long day ahead. This will be hard to do by yourself, but not impossible. 

First step, respiratory fluids. You remove a sterile cotton swab and swab your pharynx as thoroughly as possible and place it in a tube. That’s easy enough. Next comes the blood. Finding a vein has always been hard for people to do on you, and it’s not gotten any easier in time, so after poking yourself a few times in the wrong place, you manage to get enough blood to run experiments on. 

Hours of sample preparation, incubation, pipetting and running went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, like the universe was revelling in making every second of torture last forever. You thanked your lucky stars of the progress made in lab equipment and that you didn’t have to spent days on one PCR, like your mum was saying it had to be done back on Earth about a century ago. Regardless, it took most of the day for you to do everything you needed, check for all the proteins and markers you knew were deregulated with this virus, and by the early hours of night, you were done. 

Aș people were starting to return to the hub as another day was nearing its end, you retreated back to your bedroom to work on the data analysis. You did not want to see anyone, did not want to speak to anyone until you knew at least some things. The less you talked, the less lies that had to come out of your mouth, and that seemed ideal to you. 

Inputting the data and having to wait on some software to give you your literal death sentence felt so tragic is was almost comical, and you had to stop and ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you. For the first time in so long you couldn’t even remember, things were going… well. You were strong, and doing well, and lived outside of the walls of this lab. You had a chance at something more, you had a chance at maybe one day healing and working through your issues and maybe even coming out the other side a better, healthier version of yourself. You had a chance at love.

And there it was… positive. One second.

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF  STAGE I: DENIAL

Your blood became poison in the span of half a day, but at least you now knew it wasn’t transmitted through air. That means no one else would have to suffer because of you. The thought made you weirdly calm, and you realised you didn’t care about your own health all along. No, you weren’t sad anymore, just relieved. A wide smile appeared on your face at the results, and you jumped out of the chair with enthusiasm at the great news. Everybody would be ok. Norm, Max, they would all be ok. You will handle all the virus experiments and blood samples from now on. They wouldn’t have reason to doubt you or question you, not when it made most sense anyway, since you were always in the village and knew the protocols and techniques the best, anyway. You would go on the same way as you had, and no one had to know or suffer because of your mistakes. 

With those thoughts still floating in your mind and a Xanax on your tongue, you made your way to the comfortable bed and crashed without a dream in sight. 

You were up before dawn again, and ready to get started on your day at the village. You were looking forward to gun training with Jake, and finally putting those years of practice to good use. You found Norm deep in thought in the link room, and he didn’t register you walking in until you patted his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

 

“Jesus, Ace. You scared the shit out of me.” 

“I noticed. Why so jumpy, Norm?” 

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

“…turning on the linkpod?” 

“No one likes a smartass, you know?” 

“So how was the village yesterday? How is the boy?” 

“He’s alright, still not great, but his vitals are stable for now.” You noticed he did not answer your question about the village, and found slight panic rising in your chest.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen in the village?” 

“No, Ace, everything’s fine. You don’t have to worry about everything, you know. How did the experiments go yesterday?” 

“The virus is not airborne, it seems to be transmitted by blood, so we need to be very careful handling samples.” 

“We always are. But good work, good to have some concrete evidence finally. I’ll look over your analysis soon.”

“You know, I’m not quite done with it, so maybe wait and we can look over it together?”

“Sure, that makes sense.”

You didn’t buy Norm’s pathetic attempts at deflecting the subject of the village, but you did not want to fight him so early in the day, so you guess you had to find out what happened for yourself. You woke up in your Avatar body soon enough, and could already tell the village was already awake and buzzing with the perspective of a new day. The guitar sitting on the ground next to your sleeping mat caught your eye, and you smiled softly at the memory which now seems a life away. Your fingers lingered on the chords and you strummed it gently a few times, enjoying the sounds that seemed to settle in your heart. Adjusting your braids in the small mirror you brought with you a few weeks ago, you made your way out of your tent and straight into Neteyam’s chest with a loud thud. 

“What the fuck?” You say, indignantly and then look up to find Neteyam watching you with an unreadable expression adorning his beautiful face. 

“Hi.” He says, and tries to muster a small smile. 

“Hi…? Is there any particular reason you have decided to attack me first thing in the morning?” 

“I was just coming to get you, I heard the guitar playing. I didn’t think you would be running straight into me. Are you ready? We can spend the morning tracking a herd of Talioang that the hunter party spotted a few clicks south of the village. It will be good practice for you.” 

“…alright? Can I get some food first? I’m famished.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

“I have food that Ma packed for us, we can eat in the forest? I’d really rather get a move on as soon as possible, this will most likely take most of today, anyway.”

“Is there a particular reason you seem so eager for me to leave? You and Norm have both been acting weird today, and you are both terrible liars.”

Neteyam gave you a hard look. “Let’s go, Y/N. Unlike what you like to think, you don’t need to know everything, and not everything concerns you. Let’s go, now.” Nothing’s changed, you realised bitterly. Last night was just a fluke and you hated yourself in that moment for letting your guard down. 

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Neteyam.” You said and took off without looking at him. 

You ran for about 5 clicks without checking behind you, knowing full well he was following you, your hearing being one of the many senses that heightened in this body. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a huge footprint, one you could identify as the Sturmbeest, or a Talioang, like it was known to the Na’vi. Soon enough, you saw the ground littered with them, and began carefully tracking the beasts.

“Alright. How far would you say they are and which direction?” Neteyam asked, approaching you slowly. He was back to teaching mode, and you tried your best to learn, instead of recoiling and telling him to go to hell, which is what you really wanted to do. 

You touched the ground and felt it with your fingers, trying to assess the moisture level and deepness of the mark. You thought about for a while.

“I’d say they’re quite fresh. Maybe this morning? Taloioang move slowly, about 1 click every hour or two, so I’d say we’ll find them about 2 clicks east?”

He didn’t even have to touch the ground to be able to assess it. He was impressive. 

“Good. Let’s go. We shouldn’t run, they have good hearing and the wind is blowing east, which means they’ll be able to smell us if we’re not careful. We will take a roundabout way and approach them from the south.” 

You both made your way through the forest and it was your turn to follow him, although you stayed close behind and tried to look around you and pick up on clues, tiny sounds and movements, trying to learn, trying to see. “Eyes on the tracks, Y/N.” 

You rolled your eyes, but did as you were told. Eventually, Neteyam let you deem the appropriate time to stray from the tracks and move south to avoid being spotted. Soon enough, you saw the herd of prodigious beings, bathing in a shallow lake. You made your way slowly, sneaking on the ground, with Neteyam close to you, and you felt his arms grazing your sides every inch of the way. 

The herd was protecting the calves, 5 in total, playing and splashing in the clear water. You watched in amazement, just enjoying the view of these seemingly ferocious beasts that in the moment, felt more like a family watching their children play at the local pool. You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty. You felt your stomach drop at the realisation that soon, this could be Pandora, if you didn’t fight will all your being in the upcoming war. 

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back, a pressure you quickly identified as Neteyam’s hand and you shuddered at the touch. He neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck, a sudden warmth pooling in your lower abdomen. 

“You’re not allowed to kill anything yet, but I want you to show me how you would go about it. Show me your bow work, how would you aim from this position.”

You slowly removed your bow from from your person and sat up, in a now crouched stance, and loaded the arrow, doing your best to accommodate for the uncomfortable position you were in and the tight space you were sharing with another person. You held your breath, engaged your core, and aimed as if you were going to release your arrow on the target about 300m away. Neteyam’s large hand touched your upper thigh, by your left hip and squeezed gently. Your arm dropped suddenly and snapped your head in his direction. He didn’t react to your sudden snap, instead talking lowly, so as to not give your location away. “Your leg is not in a position by which you can maximise release. You will have more power in the shot if you place this knee on the ground and lean into it.” 

You wanted to take that hand and either break it or redirect it on other parts of your body that felt like they would explode if they didn’t feel him, have his touch provide the relief that was desperately yearned for, needed. You wanted to scream at him or make him coax the screams out of you like a war-cry, wild and desperate. You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him. You hated him, you loved him. You hated him.

You gave him a hard look, an angry look directed at your thigh, and he removed his hand from you. You wondered if he knew, knew what he was doing, wondered if he felt the same way, if he too was struggling to catch his breath at the torture of knowing he can’t have you, claim you, right now, right in this second, right here. You hoped he did, hope it ate him alive, the yearning and the desire. Because that’s what it was doing to you, what he was doing to you. You turned your attention back to the herd and adjusted your position based on his advice. He was right, you could tell right away, as you felt a lot more power when aiming the arrow this time. 

“Much better. We can go now, we will give the location to the hunting party and the will be able to secure us dinner for a couple of weeks from the back of a couple of Ikrans.”

 

You made your way out of their surroundings, and slowly started walking back to the village. After about half an hour, he stopped on a rock and removed the food he was carrying in a pouch. You didn’t join him, preferring to keep your distance and thus a clear mind, not being able to afford being weak around him anymore. 

“I thought you were famished.” He says, with a slight smile. You shook your head and turned around, taking in the views of the forest, distracting yourself with the flowers reaching out their neon green tendrils towards you. You kneeled next to one, and touched them gently, enjoying the way they cupped around your hand and tugged, like they were urging you to come closer so they can spill their long-forgotten dreams to you. You heard him sigh loudly.

“Sorry for being a dick. Just had a fight with mum and dad, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry. Come eat, please? I don’t want you passing out on me, you’re not as easy to carry as you used to be when you were human.” 

You remained on your knees still, focused on only the plants and your gentle tug-of-war. You knew how much pressure Neteyam was under, has been for pretty much his entire life. A prodigy created… or made, no one could really know for sure, he began training when most babies learn to walk, and speak, and play. He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle. He never complained, though. Not out loud, not to anyone else but you, once he realised you were a safe haven from the storm. You didn’t pass judgement, or make him feel bad for sharing his feelings, and he felt like he could tell you all the hardest truths his heart has always craved to speak out loud. You have always wanted to protect him from the world, a world that demanded so much of him, that asked for a sacrifice of which it was undeserving. Being Olo’yektan, leading the people, being the one person everyone relied on was a great honour, a great achievement - one you didn’t think he wanted, but was never given the chance to decline. 

“What happened?” 

You walked slowly towards the rock he was laying on, and sat at its foot, crossing your legs on the slightly damp grass. You grabbed a piece of jerky from the pile of food and slowly chewed through it, humming in appreciation at the smoky taste and rich flavour of the meat. 

Neteyam grimaced and didn’t look at you, choosing to focus instead of his arm guards, picking at something that was clearly not there. “More sacrifices I need to make in the name of the future, of the people.” 

“I see you still haven’t learnt to say no, even after all this time apart.” 

Neteyam’s hand froze in midair, his eyes widening slightly - it was the first time you brought up the year apart. He braced himself for what he thought was the beginning of the end, of you finally demanding answers he didn’t think would ever satisfy you, but no other words left your lips.  

“I can’t say no. I owe my parents everything I have, everything I am. This village, this life, is all I know. My dad gave up on everything he knew to stand up for our people, to make sure we’d get a future worth living, a family worth saving, a world still worth fighting for. He became Olo’yektan despite all that stood against him because he loved my mum, loved us, even then, even before we were born. My grandpa died defending this village, watching home tree get decimated in front of his eyes, with only the people’s safety on his mind and tongue. I see that bow that my mum cherishes like a gift from Eywa herself and I want to be worthy of it, someday. And if it means giving up some things, maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.” 

“Maybe whatever you’re giving up is making room for something ever better, Neteyam. Sometimes we want something so bad, we can’t see the forest for the trees.” 

He looks at you confused for a second.

“That’s a saying. What I’m trying to say is maybe you are over focused on something you want right now, that you think is the best thing for you, but maybe you just are not focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe in the future, whatever you’re giving up now will make room for something that was much better for you all along.”

Disappointment filled his chest at your words. Neteyam looked at you with deep sadness marking his features, and he could see you were trying to think of things to say that could make him feel better. In all honesty, he wanted - needed - you to tell him to be selfish, and trust his gut, and follow what he knew was right in his heart, but he also knew that being selfish is not a trait that came naturally to you. You have always respected the deep bond Neteyam had to his family and his people and you always used to tell him how proud of him you were for how strong he was, for the lengths he was willing to go to to protect and nurture those bonds. 

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’yektan, see him become the man everybody knew he was. He would never be yours, and although that painful conclusion had settled in your soul and had time to scar in all the time you knew him, a new wound, deeper, bloodier, deadlier, tore your heart apart at the thought you would not even be able to watch from afar. You would have been satisfied with scraps, just watching him rule, and be, and love someone else and imagining it was you. You never thought you’d get more than that anyway, never had any delusions for more. The scraps would have been enough, and now even those were brutally taken from you, like everything else in this life. 

You needed to leave, now. 

“Should we head back? It’s getting late.”

You walked back in deep, uncomfortable silence. Eclipse made the nature shine and glimmer with colours your sadness dulled to muted tones. There was light coming from the village and you realise how badly you wanted to be alone, in your tent and read, or watch a movie or a show, and ignore this world for a little while while you licked your newly-opened wounds. Tonight was a communal dinner around the big bonfire in the centre of the village, and you felt grateful your presence would not be missed in such a crowd. You’ve come to love these dinners, another one of the many ways the tribe connected to the village and to each other, but tonight you couldn’t entertain even the thought long enough to count.

“Can you please tell your family I am sorry, but I will probably head to bed early. I’ll be early for breakfast tomorrow, I promise.” 

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nodded absentmindedly and closed the flap of the tent shut.

Neteyam watched as you left him, still reeling from your conversation. Much like you, he just wished to hide in his family’s tent and pretend for a night things are different, that they are better. Actually, if we are talking about wishes, he wishes he could be in your tent. In all honestly, dealing with you on a day to day basis, seeing you, your body, touching it more and longer than he knew he reasonably had to, was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy. In his wildest dreams, he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear. In his wildest dreams, your hands all over him would heal him and break him at the same time. He was desperately in need of some relief, and he loathed all decisions in his life that lead to you not being able to be the one to provide it for him. 

He made his way to the bonfire, and greeted all of the Na’vi that respectfully bowed their heads at his arrival. He saw his family at the centre of the crowd, where they normally sat, and joined them silently. They all gave him uneasy looks - all but one. Lo’ak was blatantly glaring at the older Sully, a look of disappointment and disgust marring his normally kind face that reminded Neteyam so much of their dad. 

“Did you tell her?” 

Kiri elbowed Lo’ak in the abdomen, but he didn’t flinch. He did not even bother to acknowledge Kiri, or the low hiss escaping their mum’s lips - his eyes were still boring into Neteyam, unwavering. 

“No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split second, he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him. 

“Oh, the mighty warrior giving out orders, what else is new?” 

“Lo’ak, that’s enough.” Neteyam heard Jake intervene, and he eventually had to physically put his body in between his two sons, who still refused to look away from each other.

“Fnawe’tu (coward).”

 

Neteyam watched his brother turn his back on his family and walk away from the feast, and although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he knew deep down that Lo’ak was right.

 

You were almost robotically flipping through the directory of movies and tv shows on the laptop that you had with you in the village, not quite ready to go back to the lab and have to deal with the consequences of your newly acquired “condition”. You had all night to do experiments, and lie to yourself that you were fine until you eventually succumbed to a Xanax-induced blackout. You wanted to be in this body just a little while longer, because, in this body, it was easy to forget the realities of your actual life.

You saw a five-fingered hand emerge from the entrance to your tent, and you laughed incredulously at the clown you loved, who seemed to have a knack for improving your dour mood.

“I am here to bother you.” You got up and started making your way towards the entrance of your tent.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” You say, laughing and pulling Lo’ak by the hand, so he stumbles unattractively into you. 

You wrap your arms around him and hug him gently. “Skxawng.” 

“I should, but I am here instead. We haven’t had movie night in so long.” He lay on your sleep mat and you hissed for him to move over. “You’re getting way too comfortable hissing at people.”

“Not people, Lo’ak, you!” You smiled saying that, knowing you were quoting Kiri, and he groaned exasperatedly. 

A few more weeks passed, and you felt the discrepancy between your bodies become more pronounced than it had ever been. It turns out, the incubation period of a Na’vi virus in a human is not long at all, and roughly around last week, you began displaying symptoms. You were taking every drug under the sun to try to soften them, but you had seen one too many good Na’vi people die due to this to know what was lurking underneath the comfortable cushion of drug-induced health. Despite all that, you felt on top of the world in your avatar. You were continuously improving, and, with a little bit of luck, will be completing your first kill soon - the first stepping stone to becoming Taronyu, hunter. If you do that successfully, you will be taking your Iknimaya with other Na’vi apprentices, and finally get your own Ikran. You were buzzing at the thought, and the image of you flying in the sky was enough to push any other worries out of your mind. 

After that weird day that ended with Lo’ak in your tent watching Friends together and teaching him the chords to a song you both loved, things went back to normal, sort of. You couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that the Sullys were hiding something from you. They exchanged looks, and avoided certain subjects, and you were starting to be worried they guessed you were ill, and were tiptoeing around the subject so as to not upset you. That was a good theory, although it could not explain the heavy tension between Neteyam and Lo’ak that also started that night. 

You saw them bicker and fight your whole life: two opposing personalities, both of whom had misunderstandings about the other. Neteyam could never understand Lo’ak, understand that, despite being the chieftain’s son and the grandson of the Tsahik and former Olo’yektan, people still looked at him like he was not quite full Na’vi. His eyebrows and five fingers made his appearance uncanny enough to always attract whispers and looks, and despite Lo’ak’s apparent devil-may-care attitude, he cared. Neteyam could also not understand anyone who wished to live freely and discover themselves, make decisions and choices that would lead to a happy, fulfilled life, rather than a proud and accomplished one. Finally, Neteyam did not understand that skill and tenacity doesn’t come easy to everybody, and the weight of living in his shadow was bearing heavily on his baby brother’s back. 

On the other hand, Lo’ak never tried to understand the burden Neteyam had to carry, because, in his desire to not appear weak, he took it in strides and never complained. Lo’ak never fully understood the downfalls of what being “the perfect son” brings: no freedom, no childhood, no time, no fun, no choice. He only ever focused on the positives: praise from his family and clan, skill and composure, the title of future Leader of the Omatikaya. He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him, who, despite all their differences, would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never having to experience these burdens.

This tension felt like more. More than you’ve ever seen, not mended in time, they were always glowering at each other and only speaking to each other if prompted or forced by their increasingly frustrated family. You tried to talk to both of them individually and ask, but you were promptly sent on your way each time. You could tell Lo’ak was itching to spit it out, but every time he got close, he flashed you a look of hurt and fear, and moved on. 

Eventually, you stopped worrying about it. It will come out in time, and you had better things to worry about. Your training became brutal after that day tracking Sturmbeests. Neteyam would come to your tent before dawn, sometimes having to wait for you while you woke up in your Avatar body, and you were always gone past eclipse. You were tracking, joining hunting parties to learn, working on shooting arrows while on Pa’li or in nearly impossible positions (he made you shoot targets hanging upside down from the branches of trees, seriously) and working on guns and practicing with Jake and his soldiers. Jake made you his second-in-command during these sessions, and you enjoyed having the roles reversed and having to watch Neteyam squirm every time you touched his arm, or waist, or thighs, in order to adjust his shooting form. You also taught Lo’ak, sometimes late in the nights, where he would sneak into your tent and ask you questions about guns that he hoped would bring him in his father’s good graces for once in his life. You loved teaching them, and you felt powerful with all the eyes on you, trying to absorb every piece of information coming out of your mouth. 

“In your hands, you are holding a sub machine-gun.” You said and you made your way through the 10 soldiers in your midst. “It can fire up 600 rounds per minute. You have a button on the side of the weapon, as you can see right there”, you stopped and show everyone on your own weapon, “that allows you to choose between semi automatic and fully automatic. What’s the difference, Lo’ak?”

“A semi-automatic guns fires one shot when you pull the trigger, a fully automatic gun fires continuously until you release the trigger.” 

“Tsantu (good guy)!” you said with an intimate smile. Lo’ak was making amazing progress, and you were proud to be even a small reason why. 

Neteyam gave Lo’ak a hard look as he answered your question. He was angry with his brother because of his recent attitude, he thought. That’s the reason. Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking in your tent at night and doing Eywa-knows-what, a fact which kept Neteyam up nights with images he would do everything in his power to be able to erase from his brain. Neteyam was exhausted. He hasn’t slept since this thing started, not until Lo’ak returned to his tent after his meetings with you, and he was able to look at him in the dim light of the night and gauge for himself if his brother was flushed, or panting, or extra happy for one reason or another. Despite never seeing anything that he could deem suspicious, the images of his baby brother taking for himself what was his, what should be his, haunted him and made him sick to his stomach. 

Coward. Lo’ak words rang in his ears incessantly throughout each day, never being able to fully block them out. 

Neteyam saw you move from Lo’ak and towards him, and tried to remember what they were talking about. Sub-machine guns, right. 

“Now, SMGs are best used in tighter quarters or close to mid-range. The spread will make it inefficient for long-range. If you find yourself on the back of your Ikran shooting at a plane or Valkyrie, make sure you close the gap between you or use your bow, instead.”

“An SMG will have a lot of recoil, making it harder to shoot accurately, but there are a few tips you can use to make to improve your aim and accuracy.”

“First. Always fire in short bursts, if you are firing on automatic mode. A few shots at a time will make sure the kick is not unmanageable. Two, account for the kick and adjust your aim to compensate. Think of shooting an arrow and how you always take the wind, its direction, speed and power in consideration before you actually release. It’s a similar principle. The recoil will make the gun kick upwards, so always aim slightly lower than what you want to hit. Three, don’t aim for the head. Leave that for a bow or an assault/sniper rifle with a scope. Aim for the abdomen and chest, since that is a wider target and more likely to hit. Everyone on the same page?”

Neteyam was forever in awe of you, but it was particularly impressive watching you now. You were confident and powerful and knowledgeable. Neteyam felt bad admitting it, but you were a much better teacher than their dad ever was. Toruk Makto had many incredible qualities, but his patience was definitely not amongst them, and his lessons tend to get a bit derailed by his inability to understand that Na’vi are not predisposed to guns or understanding Sky People technology. You were calm, and kind, and funny, and you made it easy for everyone to follow your instructions. In the span on a few weeks, all of the Na’vi and Avatar soldiers training for the upcoming war became better at pretty much every aspect that they were training in, and I think everyone felt just a bit more comfortable about the conflict that was soon to befall them, with you by their side. 

After the lesson was complete, you left alongside Lo’ak, sparing one last look in Neteyam’s direction. He was already watching you, and you saw a fleeting angry look that was quickly replaced with an expressionless mask. He was getting good at that, you thought. 

“Do you want to do anything? If I have to listen to Kiri talk about all the new types of flowers and plants and shit she keeps finding in the woods, I will lose my mind.”

“Be nice.” 

Kiri has been particularly hyperfixated on her newfound discoveries recently, and you tried your best to pay attention to every time she was describing them, in detail, but in reality you were always so exhausted by the time dinner came around that you were only assimilating about a tenth of all the words coming out of her mouth. You felt bad, and made a mental note to dedicate a couple of days to your friend that you saw less and less each week. 

“Your Iknimaya is getting closer and closer each day, how do you feel?”

“Honestly I haven’t thought about it that much, just taking it one day at a time.”

“I think you should start thinking about it, cause it’s going to happen. You’ve managed to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water. It barely been two months since you got your avatar body, not even my dad did this so fast. You were made for this, Angel.” 

You didn’t know what to say to that. You were grateful for Lo’ak’s faith in you, but with everything happening in your human body, it felt pointless looking towards the future. 

“You will be one of us, soon. I’ve had dreams about this my whole life, you know? It’s like I manifested your Avatar, Norm should be thanking me.” 

“Lo’ak…” 

You didn’t like the turn this conversation took, and felt an uncomfortable twinge settle in your chest at his words. 

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.” 

Fuck. 

Neteyam was making his way back to the village with the rest of the soldiers, casually chatting to one of the Avatars returning with them. He wasn’t paying attention to the way until his body knocked into one of the Na’vi walking in front of him. Utsou was staring intently at a scene unfolding in front of him, a scene that turned Neteyam’s blood to shards of glass, leaving cuts and bruises along his entire body. It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek. It was such an intimate interaction, it felt wrong to everyone there to even be able to witness it, and Neteyam felt himself becoming nauseous. With the image now seared into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything - everyone - behind. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @hayhay9091

[crybabyjellyfish]

ooo work rants

I'm rewriting the office manual for fun bc Im bored and wasn't taught what I should be doing. (no I don't have permission to re-write it)

Things I hate about the handbook- it's long tho so it goes in text jail.

Listed in the responsibilities section, "Bring a positive attitude to work" shouldn't be the first thing listed. Especially when she ignores all the negative things that happen.

If you're so much as 5 min late you gotta tell EVERYONE you're 5 minutes late, even if you think you're going to be late you have to text the entire group chat you're going to be 5+ minutes late.

"Growth Mindset" and "Stereotype Threat" are both before actual procedures and take up more pages than the procedures. Instead of- idk- telling me what I should be doing and how. If someone rings the office phone I have 0 clue how to answer and how to transfer calls

the way the stereotype threat section is set up basically says to ignore aspects of yourself and others that're apart of minority groups to avoid stereotyping yourself.

Stressing out? Just think about Obama! If he became president, anyone can do anything. Thanks Obama :)

Oh- still stressing? Change your mindset! You're just thinking wrong.

you're STILL stressing? Push it off for another time and get what you need to get done right now. Then you won't choke under pressure.

Our commitment to a positive workplace climate: We will "demonstrate a commitment to diversity and multiculturalism" and to "take care of our well-being and exhibit team wellness" ah yes, I will demonstrate multiculturalism. Also- I told this person about sexual harrassment i'm facing outside of work and that i am struggling and the response was, "hmm thanks for sharing... anyways."

This is a quote: "If you work with more than one student, encourage your students to study together outside of your mentoring sessions.... Asian students, who studied in groups, formal and informal, and made little distinction between their academic and social lives, did better than White and African-American students." First and foremost- UNHEALTHY. I am Asian. I don't have distinctions. It's very very unhealthy t b h. Study groups and social times are both important but jfc. ALSO MODEL MINORITY MYTH WHO?! JFC

^^^^^^^^ This is the person that told me that I would be the first guy that they have hired because they have, "People of all different backgrounds." (I'm trans. HUH. Actually I wonder why the only man they have in the office is me- who ngl is v v feminine.) Then tells me after our first team-building day that they "Just so happen" to have only really hired Asians for their interns(the others don't work directly under this person or are in charge of specific programs). Anyways myself and my one other coworker are both asian and we're both her interns who basically act as assistants.

back to the "choking" from stress- the list includes(and I quote), "Think differently. Think about yourself in ways that highlight your aptitude for success. Instead of focusing on how your group might be negatively stereotypes, think of the tools you have to excel- you have done well in school in the past or you have a supporting network or peers and mentors" Okay I didn't actually read the negatively stereotypes part. djldfkjgflkgjdflkgjdflkgjfdlk what the fuck???

"Educate the worries. Reminding students that stereotypes are just stereotypes and nothing more can help prevent people from worrying about their ability when the pressure is on."

"Reinterpret your reactions. When under pressure, learn to interpret your bodily reactions in a positive way ("I am amped up for the test") rather than negative ("I am freaking out")." ah yes I will just say that my anxiety and panic attacks are actually just fun little excitement sparks of j o y.

The stereotype threat(Steele & Aronson, 1995) section. Instead of educating yourself about the students you work with, if they're a minority- just ignore that fact! Otherwise you'll make them fail. Set high standards and show them that you have also struggled in school- so that they can relate to you.

This was all in the first 5 pages of this handbook bro. What the fuck.

[chasing-storm-s]

Routes I've done for Ikemen Sengoku, Ikemen Vampire, Ikemen Villains, and Koihana Bakumeiroku. To be updated from time to time.

IkeSen Routes completed:

Masamune: romantic | dramatic | eternal (fav guy and fav routes)

Shingen: romantic | dramatic (not my type but damn I'd be lying if I say I didn't fall for him in his routes)

Nobunaga: romantic | dramatic (rather have you as an older brother figure, but you sure can be fun). sign me up for a late-night konpeito heist.

Sasuke: Romantic & Dramatic (routes SUPER fun. Guy's also super fun). Preferance: dramatic. Side story for both full love bonus is awesome!

Mitsunari: Romantic (the incomparable angel)

Keiji: Romantic (feeling: complicated. Sometimes I hate him, other times I like him well enough. His route is different but in a good way I guess?)

Kenshin: Romantic, Dramatic. (was worried but I think I like MC in his route. Ngl did fall for him despite his yandere-ing. Although, it's probably because I expected worse). Prefer his romantic cause we get to see them all plotting to bring him back, Mai as the Goddess of War. Ah, that was such a cool scene.

Motonari: Dramatic | Romantic (boy is he wild. But nope, not my thing - looks hot tho). I surprised myself by finishing both his routes this early hahah. Liked him much better on my 2nd gameplay but gosh will I always dislike that first couple of chapters.

Hideyoshi: Romantic | Dramatic (an extremely much needed break after the prev 3 guys. Worried I would dislike his route. But I love it. Him too. Very much. Fav parts: MC saying she will not send him a letter & her threatening Mitsuhide)

Ieyasu: Dramatic | Romantic Annnd that's my first Ieyasu route completed (dramatic). Enjoyed it more than I expected since Tsunderes aren't my thing, I was worried that I would've dislike his route but it turns out alright. I am a little sad that there weren't much of Sasuke fanboying moments but yeah overall things are still fine. Not sure yet how it goes in my ranking of routes I've done tho. Romatic: i've left it too long between reading and writing this.. so I'm sorry but I really forgot how things go. BUT. I think I enjoyed dramatic more.

Yoshimoto: Romantic (very dramatic. And it's not even the dramatic route. I love it.)

Yukimura: Dramatic | Dramatic (sometimes, you need to get yourself an awkward, tactless, yet super sweet guy who'll chase after you and call you dummy. Not fav LI but my 2nd fav route to play).

Mitsuhide: romantic. ohoho. I am warming up to this guy.

Kanetsugu: dramatic | romantic. His smile. His SMILE. I melt every time. Both routes were awesome! But I'll pick dramatic over romantic cause of that one Azuchi mother hen-ing scene 😂

Kennyo: Dramatic. That was pretty good actually.

IkeVamp Routes completed:

Leonardo: romantic | dramatic (is he the sweetest guy ever or is there someone who competes for this position?)

Vlad: dramatic (quite the bittersweet route. I love him)

Jean: romantic (boy be breaking my heart with his story. Extra love given to this man.)

Napoleon: dramatic. A lovely, lighter, more humorous read (compared to previous two).

Isaac: dramatic & romantic (adorable 100%. Need I say more?)

Dazai: romantic (thoughts tbc)

Faust: dramatic. Welp, this is one dramatic, red-flagged guy. Kidnapping, threats, dubious consent (?). Then again, it's pretty much expected/we've been warned. I donno but I was quite excited about playing his route but now that I've finished it.. I donno. I thought I would've enjoyed it more maybe? (This is why expectations are dangerous). I like the drama esp that beginning and learning about his softer sides especially with his interactions with the orphanage children (I love these scenes) but, I'm feeling like there's something.. missing. Maybe it's just me these past month because it has been a very busy, full of change month for me outside of my otome games. Im just here trying to divide my braincell for everything 🙃 . I'll replay his route once I'm properly settled in.

Arthur: Romantic. I love his route, how complicated things are between him and his past and him and Emma. With their very rocky start, how the comes to be be friends and their feelings, all to aware that both could not hope to fall in love with the other. Despite the complications, things aren't messy (I'm not refering to how Arthur himself's a mess). I think the route's written quite well, and it really does messes with your feelings (I like routes that gives me strong feelings, good and bad)

Theo: Romantic. Love how he's so insistent at going to the future for MC. I haven't seen any in Sengoku (not incl sasuke cause he future person) or other Vampire suitors yet that offers to do so. Overall, I enjoyed his route. I wish there were more..

Shakespeare: Dramatic. It's awesome.

Charles: Romantic. Ugly-crying almost the whole time. Is it my hormones? Is it purely Charles? I'll never truly know. But I love his route, though I'll never forgive cybird for that one chapter for toying with my emotions like that.

Vincent: Dramatic. Pretty lovely. It has that pure, gentle feeling like the man himself. Oh but I didn't think I would hate Shakespeare as much as I did in this route. Well, it's for the plot after all.

Comte: it was a fun ride. Got so many new dresses 😌

Interlude: very enjoyable. Nice seeing lots of friendship/family dynamics and more of everyone

IkeVill routes completed:

William Rex: Mad love - I like the story. Warming up to the game and concepts. Guy wise, it's kinda hard to get a proper sense of him through translation apps but I might put him on my like-as-friends or neutral acquaintance group.

Liam Evans: Both Ends - my fav being Blind End. best boy 😭 the sweetest man I could ever ask for. But oh the pain, the hurt, the tragic backstories. The amount of times I cried.

Harrison Gray: Blind Love - did a speed run through so can't remember much right now since I am updating this like after finishing a whole different route later. But. I remember thinking that it gives the most adventurous feeling between the others I've played.

Elbert Greetia: Mad Love - Quite enjoyed the route, though El's back story was disturbing. Love the whole El, Al, and Kate relationship side of things.

Koihana Bakumeiroku

Hijikata - First route I've ever finished and well, there were parts I was confused about but did figured out in other routes I have not finished playing yet (Kido and Katsu). I liked it.

[ressjeon]

in this paradise (moodboard teaser)

pairing: survivor!jungkook x fem!reader

summary: In an attempt to escape what's been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn't expect and enter you who somehow couldn't believe to find company in this isolated land. Was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?

rating: 18+ 

genre: tropical island!au, survivor!au, strangers to lovers, angst, smut, romance & fluff

warnings: some accidents mentioned, lots of teasing, swearing, sexual tension, explicit sexual content, multiple sex scenes (beach, treehouse?, etc.), pet names, skinny dipping, finger sucking, thigh riding, unprotected sex (no condoms in da island peeps), handjob, oral (m. receiving), nipple play, fingering, riding, jk takes it from the back too. (warnings could change)

a/n: this wasn't the first JK fic I planned to post but he was in Summery outfit on Sowoozoo so I had to bump it up among other WIPS 😅. 2 years ago, I got intrigued when I saw the theme song mv of this TV series on my YT dash, the mc has the same name as me and it was Jungkook who first came into when some scenes (4 in exact, including this one) flashed in my mind. The plot is completely different though as I only borrowed some elements of it ♡.

ps. this moodboard was damn hard to make T.T

Check it out here!

― masterlist — navigation ― wips

A sudden ruckus behind your shoulder alerts you immediately, and you turn to see a little movement in the tall grass among the trees.

At last, food.

You’ve been hungry for hours since you wake up so it would be amazing to find something to eat since it's lunch already. Getting into position, you raise one arm up with a spear above your head, the other hand holding up front just in case it attacks you.

Readying yourself as you approach the moving grass, you part them with the other hand but to your surprise, you find a half-naked man in dirty white jeans with dark hair, his doe-eyes staring at you in shock.

"woah, woah, woah" an instant fear crosses his eyes, both of his hands suddenly waving in front in surrender causing him to wince a little, allowing you to spot the wound below his right shoulder so you lower down your arm.

He’s good-looking, add the harsh rays of sunlight looming over him from above to that.

You recover instantly, locking your eyes to his with a death glare as you move your spear in front of you.

“who are you?” you demand, suspicious eyes raking his form as you come nearer to him. He could still be a threat for all you know, best to take precautions.

“jungkook” he pants, reaching out with open palms to shake your hands. He hopes that you'll deem him as harmless by doing so and looks at you pleadingly when you don’t answer him.

“y/n” you respond gently a bit after dropping your spear on the side, feeling a spark when your hand touches his, of how gentle he’s shaking your hand despite the worry in his eyes.

He sighs in relief but pain crosses his handsome face, and he’s wincing even more this time. You manage to catch him before his body reaches the ground.

“my bad” he chuckles while trying to stand up, somehow disregarding that he almost collapsed. You really wonder how he can joke about his situation.

“you’re wounded you know” you scoff, inspecting his wound straightaway.

“yeah but at least you’re here now” he grins and winks at you as he positions himself on your lap, making your eyes roll.

“shut up or i won’t help you” you chide, pulling out the remnants of splinters from his wound with warning and he pouts.

“okay, okay, i’ll behave” he whines as he stays still lying down on his stomach and you’re trying to ignore how you can feel his defined abs on your legs.

“why are you wandering here in the forest while your wound is still fresh?” you ask and Jungkook smiles when he hears the concern in your voice. Ngl, he was shit scared of you earlier, if it weren’t for his wound that’s slowing him down and you’re pretty face he would’ve bolted instantly.

“I was looking for medicinal herbs” he answers, shaking his injured shoulder a little and you smile at this cute antic, okay he’s adorable.

“stop moving” you tsks.

“and what exactly is a beautiful girl like you doing in this forest too?” he questions before you can even answer him right away.

“i was looking for food,” you pause, stating the obvious.

“so that’s why you have a hunting spear with you. where did you even find materials to make it?"  he prods, a lot of curiosity in his voice and you smile again, he can’t see you from this angle anyways so it’s good.

“on the shore, a lot of things wash up there” you hum, finishing up the make bandage on his shoulder using the thin jacket that was wrapped on your waist earlier.

You feel him nod and huff a breath like he wants to ask more.

“right, right. how about we search the beach later? maybe we can find more stuff that we can use” he asks as he slowly gets up from your lap, displaying an excited smile and you nod.

“does it hurt?” you ask impassively and he shakes his head.

You help him in standing up, carefully assisting on his elbow for him to not put weight on it and he laughs again. He’s been giddy all this time and you still have no idea why.

"i'm okay" he snorts and you elbow him.

"what's funny?"

You frown, brows scrunching as you eye him with annoyance. As much as you're still wary of him, you’re starting to get confused on how he can make you react this fast in everything that he does.

"you seem so caring now compared to earlier" he teases.

"you needed help, i'm not as heartless as you think" you glare at him and retrieve your spear from the ground.

“your words are actually the opposite of your actions” he continues.

“well, aren’t you an excellent observer” you snicker as you look around to check if you missed anything.

Jungkook on the other hand is just observing how you effortlessly gather your stuff with you. How for some reason, you still look gorgeous with your white mini sundress, a contrast at how tough you look with your tools on you.

"what?" you bark, raising one brow at him and he stops himself from laughing this time. He just shrugs with a playful smile and walks away, urging you to follow him as you both venture into the woods.

“jungkook” you call him, walking beside him now.

“yes?” he questions playfully, not sparing you any glance while looking up at the coconut trees around you.

“you better be taking this seriously after you heal” you huff.

“i already am, i swear! you have no faith in me, im offended” he complains with that fake hurt in his voice and you scowl at him before walking faster, now leading the path instead. He laughs louder this time, following you into some stream or river.

All jokes aside, Jungkook is truly relieved at finding another survivor washing up on the same island as he is. At least he won’t be alone while waiting for rescue anymore, plus you’re hot as hell so this won’t be bad after all.

taglist: @jungkooksbroski​ 

permanent taglist: @bluesharksandfish @taebkyun @sheprocrastinatesalot​ @iamscharene​

[crumble-system]

☣️ Nyx -im adding the previous tags but now we're home we can like do another reply that has more like brains

This was really sweet whoever sent this, especially for like things that have been going on that like nobody else knows but like this system.

note we're gonna ramble a shit ton so under the cut <3

🧯Conner - We always love asks like these, especially when we don't expect them. But this did cheer us up a good bit.

Especially because we've been bed rotting just a bit because the consequences of not having meds nor therapy rn while having gone through THE horrors of this and last year of having alot of our Hugest trauma of our adolescence just becoming raw again. [this is also why mockingjay, philly & blaze 2 EXIST]

which has led us to just remember alot of the struggles that led us here.

also the many fucking jumpscares (though like all of them went positively and the people who did accidentally jumpscare us have been the best of sports & have VASTLY outweighed the negative of the original terror from being spooked)

🎱Ribs - YEAH I've definely like been told actively by alot of people of how much we like bring light & warmth to our friends and acquaintances. which has helped alot at Not being as like unstable as we would've been elsewise with all the curveballs and twists.

ALSO getting back in contact with people we were worried abt contacting & missed, helped a fuck ton because they'll all been fuckin supportive as hell.

plus telling the one (aka the dude who came into our notes like "idk if u hate me but i miss you and worried abt you" while I WAS literally venting abt missing them & being worried abt them was funny ngl) that like, WOOPS I'm here bcs of you & them being supportive as they can but still learning as a singlet helped <33.

UHHH also like getting SUPER GENUINE love from the people who we were missing and got into contact into with helped A TON. also telling them all parts of the Why Man saga helped & getting like support for what the fuck that lil shit put us thru.

adding that said person whose why I fromed also like helped during what blaze is GONNA probs talk abt

🔥Blaze - ILY BABE (ribs)

OKAY so the person who caused ribs to form, unknowningly has kind of helped me a ton to be able to help the person who got ME to form.

Which like it felt so fucking GOOD being able to do what I did recently to help said person whose why I'm here. I FUCKING improved. I GREW and I CHANGED for THE BETTER.

it's like been so funny seeing like within like a year go from one of the most DISTRUSTED to be in front due to being much more of a Perseuctor/Perpetrator combo AND JUST. Very much ACTING out because nobody in this fuckin system was listening BCS our communication was SHIT.

TO being like one of the most trusted & seen as one of the better protectors & alters to deal with stressful convos and shit to de-escalate things when the going gets ROUGH.

THE PERSON who caused me to form I don't think they REALIZE fully yet that when I said "Yeah, I was actually there for that." I LITERALLY MEANT. I FORMED THERE. AND WE WERE THERE. AND THATS WHY. THAT MEME WAS SO TERRIFYING.

BUT YKNOW HOW IT GOES, I WAS KING. DID GET JUMPSCARED BY THE DUDE CONNER ALMOST WENT TO WHEN RIBS FORMED & WHEN I FORMED NOT TOO LONG AFTER NOT TOO LONG AFTER.

also got jumpscared by THE DUDE who let us into the server where I formed, like a week later... IT WAS just to say "there's a scammer in general" but now i get cursed to see that he's fucking playing roblox now. BCS discord thinks its funny.

so like I have been RIDING the high of helping the person who caused me to form and MAKING SAID PERSON LAUGH. BCS said PERSON deserves to HAVE A GOOD DAY.

☢️ Prodigy/(Doxie) - I AM only in front for a moment to reply to this as for understandable reasons the others dont want me in front rn, and i dont wanna be either

THO I love my friends who knew me when I was still bumbling around as a newbie & the ppl ive met after coming back in EARLY 2024.

we need therapy & meds, and i need to work on myself way more b4 I can be in front for extended periods of time and not at all rn.

🦀Pablo - IM also only in front to write my piece & then peace out because ya im working on my issues too.

the message was kind and love it! ty, me & prod are going back to work on ourselves.

(we are also still working on an apology, just NOT a good time for us to attempt that)

🍋 Gayle - Yeah we've kept moving forward despite everything that's happened in the past, or how much THIS year keeps testing our strength.

like oh my god, ribs, conner and blaze u mfers are so fucking strong. i COULD not do the shit those three have been doing.

i just kind of applaud those three for being brave because they want to protect their found family of friends. AND also being strong enough to talk thru issues and shit with others.

also thank them for helping me with all the FONT bullshit <3

🎃Skull - also thanking them for help w the FONT bullshit, and also ty blaze for not teasing me abt my source once u realized that I had a legit issue with it. and also making that whole party for everyone who looks like one of our abusers, that cheered me up a ton.

🍬Candy - yeah yeah thank you blaze for helping skull be more confident, and also for sitting with me when my other thing I am the holder of gets bad when skull isn't able to. & also like helping for when you blaze, ribs or conner notice when I'm starting that ..down that road..

also ty for the multiple white & blue/blue&white hater party in headspace ribs and blaze. that shit has been fun to work through all that shit.

🌟Philly - YEAH they (as in more the others, the G6 [2015-2019] gang specifically aka Conner, Ribs, Gayle, Prod, Blaze and Nyx) really were really touched by this.

I know they've been going thru a helluva time, it's kind of why I exist. beacuse of the whole, the person who caused ribs to form & the person who caused blaze to form literally jumpscared those guys by posting ACCIDENTAL jumpscares that were close enough TO said EVENTS that they both got worried.

which led to blaze 2 and me splitting off and yknow being here to curse y'all.

UHHH IDK what I have to say abt this because like.. I am sort of apathetic, and just NOT emotional. think like coping shit + like latching onto my source being specifically Philly in (CRAB MAN SERVER). which kind of got their emotions removed.

🧲Blaze 2 - <333 iDK WHAT 2 SAY MYSELF.

the others DID really well. BUT we have been celebrating our acomplishments, THO more like privately. because god i cannot tell any of yall how fucking much the others and generally the system want to be LOUD and PROUD for how far they've come

Along with HOW much they just wanna say HOW MUCH they love the ppl they consider friends OUTLOUD AND PUBLIC, THEYRE just very much dealing with RSD and BPD BEING BITCHES.

SO they've been subdueing themselves even more, even if they wanna do it. ALSO bcs they wanna respect ppls boundaries, it's why they're NOT saying CERTAIN NAMES. OF PPL THEY LOVE.

ribs though blaze classic is done making fun of your whole CLOWN ACT abt seeming like you hated ppl but in reality you genuinely missed them though weren't letting yourself say that bcs you did not want to seem weak and were dealing with paranoid of others trying to hurt them just to get to us.

im not, im saying it outloud MF. you don't get to just tell sweetfinlet abt it. GET EXPOSED FOR ALSO BEING A LOVER.

🐦Mockingjay - THEY'VE BEEN CELEBRATING A TON OF THEIR VICTORIES.

👑Waldemar- HELL YEAH handshake, im joining you im exposing blaze proper.

clarity abt the vents is that alot of reprocessing of old events had to happen because the censored person triggered alot of alters heavily enough that they regressed & Lost access to the Full truth of the past

Very much they had to process things in a way very similar the Psychonauts 2 Level, "Psi King's Sensorium"

With the whole Confirmation Bias, Law of association, Confabulations, and just the memories were twisted.

This person also Accidentally began to use alot of tactics that older abusers & toxic ex-friends would use on us in the past, as they were Way more dependent on us than we were on them and in a misguided effort for connection they attempted to make us more dependent on them.

(or at least we hope it was accidental, that's what we want to believe. despite it all.)

Also the censored name is not crab man bluzombie nor why man willie. It's censored as despite it all we don't want ppl to find nor attack that ex-friend, they're Not worth the effort.

THERE'S A BUNCH OF WIP POETRY THEY'VE BEEN DOING SINCE 2023 and HAVE working ON pUTING IN A VIDEO. TO SHOW THEY LOVE THEIR FRIENDS

ITS SAPPY AS SHIT. IDC IF THEY CALL ME HOMOPHONIC.

🎆Flare - (I WAS BLAZE 2 BEFORE THE OTHER ONE, BUT NO BLAZE LETS HIM BE BLAZE 2 BUT I HAVE TO BE FLARE IM STILL PISSED)

I'm stealing this from MJ but...

I LOVE THEM, BUT THEY'RE A MESS. THIS SYSTEM IS KIND OF MY FOUND FAMILY OF IDIOTS.

THEY'rE CRYING OVER ONE OF THE POETRY THEY ALL WROTE FOR THAT. THIS IS A NEWER ONE.

"As I always wanted as a kid, to hang with people ; friends to just

Talk together for hours, or just exist silent as we both do our own things

Go on adventures with

Dispell eachothers worries with

Be not just seen, but also accepted whole heartedly

...

And I've found those people

Even for some it took some time to realize they were still there"

🌤️Mr A - Everything eventually will be okay, and that's what keeps us going. Also spite. Alot of spite.

Love keeps us going more though, we are filled with love always.

🧃Sour - I AM still GETTING uzed 2 being here again, ESP with the huge party we GOT now. BUt yea this is sweeettt. felt like i should say somethin

🍐Wasabi - YEAH this is NICE. I like the ENERGY we've been getting, this is why I keep refusing to leave front BUT im too shy to talk to the nice ppl we've been around. </3. im still halted by these haunting memories but im getting stronger, I will be as annoying if not MORE annoying than the others. u hear me

🍾Sparkling - I don't front as much these days as I'm helping with headspace matters but <3 this was nice.

🌝Allie - I just wanted to :3333, i have nothing to actually add. I'm just a special uwu. i need attention.

🕹️First- idk im dancing. ik we need to do owed art but that's a tomorrow thing, we're still having a moment. they'll understand.

🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼

OUR REACTIONS TO THIS,

Never know how 2 react when ppl actually say love affirmations to us wholeheartedly but ty ty

ESP LIKE when we're in these depressive isolation episodes that we get in

Though we're getting better at dealing with em

[asthmark]

❝ chemistry ❞ o.st

synopsis → osaki shotaro moving to town means trips to the dance studio, boba dates, and the perpetual teasing of lee donghyuck. 

pairing → shotaro, reader

requested? → yes! based off @onlyjihoons​​’s shipping game answer ♡

word count → 5.5k (this was supposed to be 1k.... goodbye.)

a/n → i enjoy writing texting scenes WAY too much ;; tbh this is like 50% texts im cryign but i had to convey how much i love 00 line .... and also how firmly i believe in lee donghyuck devil supremacy. as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and enjoy! 

+

if someone were to ask you how you felt about your friends, you would without any hesitation, answer that you loved them to death. of course, if you were being completely honest, you would also have to add that you experienced the urge to strangle them from time to time. that might earn you a couple odd stares but you’re sure people would be more understanding if they knew who was in your inner circle to begin with.

for starters, there was lee jeno — tall, handsome, and the textbook definition of a gentleman. then, na jaemin, who you would consider to be the yin to jeno’s yang. an extremely energetic guy and, in your book, a total freak of nature ever since you found out that he inhales four shots of espresso on the daily. liu yangyang was a more recent addition to your group but, being as quick-witted as he was, he quickly fit right in. he also had a habit of going on somewhat aggressive rants in german which renjun found to be extremely amusing. speaking of, huang renjun was another one of your close friends — the shortest of the group, actually. (and, much to renjun’s dismay, that’s exactly how donghyuck liked to introduce him to people.) he was the type of guy you could trust to keep everyone in check which consequently made you mildly terrified of him.

however, it could never compare to the perpetual fear you have of lee donghyuck. 

of course, you love him to pieces but sometimes you really wish he didn’t find so much joy in, well, making everyone miserable. you couldn’t deny it was funny to watch him tease and taunt your other friends. you still remember him purposefully messing up renjun’s game at the local arcade just when he was about to reach his high score — and also the way renjun had tackled him to the floor right then and there, resulting in the six of you being banned from the place. or, that time he offered to pay for everyone’s starbucks orders only to tell the barista that jaemin’s name was ben dover. (to no one’s surprise, yangyang had found that joke particularly hilarious.) you can also clearly recall how hard you had laughed in both of those situations.

but, donghyuck never let anyone laugh for too long.

according to him it was ’only fair’ to make sure each of his friends was at the receiving end of his gags. so, despite laughing at his latest victim’s expense, each of you knew that donghyuck would make sure you were in the same position sooner or later.

you definitely weren’t expecting it to be your turn one dull friday evening.

things are going slow for you as you sit at your desk, typing away on your laptop. school has been out for hours and your professors have decided to be saints and leave you little homework for the weekend. beside you, your phone dings, alerting you of the new text message in your group chat.

[4:23 pm] hyuck: i’m bored 🥺

[4:23 pm] you: plz never use that emoji again

[4:24 pm] nana: it’s misleading dude

[4:25 pm] yangx2: yeah like when have u ever made a face that isn’t this 😈

[4:25 pm] renjun: donghyuck is the devil = confirmed

[4:25 pm] nana: CALLED IT

[4:26 pm] hyuck: u guys are literally so evil

jeno laughed at “u guys are literally so evil”

[4:27 pm] jeno: look who’s talking lol

[4:27 pm] you: dangg u know it’s bad when lee jeno disses u

[4:28 pm] jeno: ...ngl it kinda feels like ur shading me rn

[4:28 pm] you: u would be correct :)

[4:29 pm] hyuck: um HELLO can u guys go back to paying attention to me???

[4:29 pm] renjun: what do u want, diva?

[4:29 pm] hyuck: i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(

renjun disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

yangx2 disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

you disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

nana disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

jeno disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

[4:30 pm] hyuck: OH COME ON

[4:30 pm] yangx2: i think what u meant to say is that u wanna make one of us very miserable today, right?

[4:30 pm] hyuck: .....no comment

nana renamed the group chat “hyuck hate club”

[4:31 pm] hyuck: ok i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[4:31 pm] jeno: well now u know what it’s like to be friends with u

[4:31 pm] you: so true king omg ur on a roll

[4:32 pm] hyuck: hmm okay so either jeno or y/n is gonna be today’s target, got it

[4:32 pm] hyuck: anyway can u guys come down to the dance studio now??

[4:32 pm] you: what makes u think i would go anywhere near u when i know ur plotting ur revenge on me as we speak

[4:32 pm] hyuck: because maybe i’ll have mercy on u and just terrorize jeno instead

[4:33 pm] you: good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!

[4:33 pm] jeno: HEY

nana laughed at “good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!”

[4:34 pm] yangx2: u literally cannot trust anyone in this friend group

[4:34 pm] renjun: ikr isn’t it great???

you might have been slightly out of your mind to willingly go see donghyuck knowing you had teased him in your group chat earlier. although, if there was a slight chance he would show you mercy if you did hang out with him, you were going to take it.

the studio was where you had first met donghyuck, along with the rest of your friends due to the dance classes you attended. after bumping into each in between classes and during practice, you began to get well acquainted. turns out, the six of you actually got along incredibly well and after a while, you began to share routines and tips, even choreographing together from time to time. obviously, this led to the infamous group chat being formed and lots of time spent outside the studio as well.

but, none of you had lost that love for dancing. in fact, forming your little clique had only made it grow. as you opened the front doors of the building you had made so many memories in, you wondered if donghyuck wanted your insight on a certain routine or needed some help choreographing. of course, there was also the possibility that he really was just bored and wanted you to suffer with him.

what you did not expect, however, was to see him caught up in conversation with another person. you couldn’t clearly see them with donghyuck in the way; all you knew for certain was that your best friend’s mouth was moving a mile a minute. you tentatively tiptoe into the room, hoping to not intrude on their discussion. but, at hearing the doors creak open, donghyuck puts his rant on pause to enthusiastically wave you over.

you sigh, putting your belongings down and approaching the pair. as you near, you notice that hyuck has a huge smile — no, smirk — on his face. you internally curse yourself for believing that he would ever pass up an opportunity to torment you, especially in front of a stranger.

“this is a very dear friend of mine,” you hear him introduce to his acquaintance. “her name is y/n. she dances, too.”

“oh, that’s really cool!”

the stranger’s unusually cheery tone prompts you to finally peek behind donghyuck and put a face to the voice.

and what a face he has.

“this is shotaro,” donghyuck informs you. “he’s new to town and quite the dancer. caught him in the middle of a routine.”

your knees almost wobble as you take in the stranger — shotaro’s — kind eyes that almost sparkle. (you aren’t sure if it’s because of the fluorescent lights of the studio or just part of his charm.) his lips are curved up into a friendly smile that makes you feel slightly giddy. his hair falls into his face almost perfectly, not a strand out of place and you’re uncertain as to how that’s even possible since, as donghyuck had said, he was dancing. not to mention, there’s not a bead of sweat on his face. did this guy come straight out of a disney movie or something?

“excuse her,” donghyuck chuckles. “good looking people tend to make her freeze up. don’t worry, this happened when she met me, too.”

you offer your friend a glare and an elbow to the side and you swear you hear shotaro chuckle. you turn to him instead, putting on a welcoming smile.

“my bad, i just—”

“got lost in his eyes?”

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “donghyuck, please don’t make me have to attack you in front of our guest.”

more giggles escape shotaro. (you swear it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard.) you curiously tilt your head at him.

“sorry, it’s just that, you guys are too funny,” he admits with a sheepish smile.

you mirror his grin, slightly relieved he was amused instead of weirded out. “yeah, well, just wait ’til you meet the rest of us. it’s like a circus show, you’ll love it.”

“hello, clowns!”

“speak of the devil,” donghyuck murmurs, watching as yangyang and renjun enter, followed by jeno and jaemin.

“woah, who’s the cutie?” yangyang asks renjun, in what you presume he thinks is a whisper. however, yangyang has never spoken quietly a day in his life. renjun simply shrugs at his question.

having clearly heard the compliment, a faint blush creeps onto shotaro’s cheeks.

“guys, this is shotaro,” donghyuck answers, tugging the sandy blonde forward.

he gives a somewhat shy wave. “hi, y/n’s friends.”

jaemin erupts into laughter. “uh oh, looks like he likes y/n more than hyuck.”

“don’t blame him,” jeno mutters.

shotaro’s forehead creases, face suddenly twisted in worry. “oh, i’m sorry, was i not supposed to say that?”

“oh no, don’t worry,” donghyuck denies, quickly. “i’m sure y/n doesn’t mind at all, right?”

if you could crawl into a hole to avoid the embarrassment, you would. of course, donghyuck was 100% right; you really didn’t mind shotaro calling the group that if it meant you could hear him say your name over and over again. in fact, his sweet voice could probably make the dictionary sound like the most addictive song. but, donghyuck had no right putting you on the spot like that.

jeno suddenly speaks, catching on to your flustered state and donghyuck’s evil grin. “so, it’s y/n’s turn today? sweet, i’m off the hook!”

shotaro furrows his brows slightly. “huh?”

“oh, it’s just an inside joke,” jeno says, smile reaching all the way up to his eyes.

you wish you could strangle him right then and there for finding amusement at your expense but the last thing you want is for shotaro to think you’re some sort of psychopath. (although, with a friend group like this, you’re definitely beginning to think that’s where you’re headed.)

“got it,” shotaro responds, breaking out into a grin himself. “you guys seem like a really close bunch!”

“the closest,” donghyuck corrects, overly sweet, as he wraps an arm around you. (you resist the urge to shove him off.) “you’ll fit right in!”

+

you believed that the torture was over the day donghyuck introduced shotaro to your group. you would probably just see him from time to time and the studio (hopefully without hyuck around) and it would all be downhill from there, right? the latest notification on your phone alerts you that you are absolutely wrong.

hyuck has added one (1) user to the group chat

[1:05 pm] hyuck: welcome shotaro!!

[1:06 pm] unknown: oh hey guys! :]

the emoticon almost makes your heart beat right out of your chest. you roll your eyes in frustration at how easily affected you were by this guy. seriously, why did everything he do have to be so cute? regardless, you quickly add his number to your contacts.

[1:06 pm] hyuck: why don’t we do a little roll call so shotaro can save ur numbers to his phone

[1:07 pm] yangx2: YANGYANG

[1:07 pm] yangx2: HA I WAS FIRST

[1:07 pm] jeno: ...

[1:08 pm] jeno: anyway this is jeno :)

[1:08 pm] nana: jaemin present!

[1:08 pm] renjun: hi shotaro, this is renjun

[1:10 pm] shotaro: haha cool thanks a lot, i just saved all ur numbers!

[1:10 pm] shotaro: but quick question, is y/n in this group chat? :0

you almost drop your phone at reading shotaro’s message although you’re unsure why. he just typed your name, get it together, you urge yourself.

[1:11 pm] you: heyy shotaro! i’m right here :)

[1:11 pm] shotaro: oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^

hyuck disliked “oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^”

[1:12 pm] hyuck: shotaro plz return my love what does she have that i don’t T-T

[1:12 pm] nana: a heart

[1:12 pm] yangx2: a brain

[1:12 pm] jeno: a conscience

[1:12 pm] renjun: a functioning moral compass

[1:13 pm] hyuck: wtf

[1:13 pm] shotaro: ahahaha it’s like i’m watching a comedy

[1:14 pm] you: told u it’s a circus

[1:14 pm] you: i say get out while u still can

[1:14 pm] shotaro: whaatt and leave u behind? no way!

nana renamed the group chat “shotaro x y/n supremacists”

[1:15 pm] jeno: my thoughts exactly

[1:15 pm] renjun: took the words right out of my mouth

you cringe at your friends’ blunt behavior, praying shotaro didn’t find their antics to be too strange.

[1:16 pm] shotaro: 😳

[1:16 pm] nana: aww someone’s shy

[1:17 pm] renjun: he wouldn’t last a day in itzy

[1:17 pm] yangx2: HELPP

you shake your head, laughing silently to yourself as you mute the group chat and place your phone back down. although, moments later, you receive a direct message. you presume it’s one of the boys trying to rope you back into the chat but the moment you see the contact name, you’re forced to do a double take.

[1:21 pm] shotaro: i hope i’m not bothering u but i just wanted to make sure ur okay .. you kinda went quiet in the gc :>

[1:21 pm] shotaro: it’s shotaro from the dance studio btw!

you can’t help but find the fact that he seriously thought you wouldn’t remember him adorable. how could you ever forget a face like his?

[1:22 pm] you: that’s so kind! i’m okay, i promise. i’ve just had to put up with those dorks for way too long, sometimes i just ignore them haha

[1:22 pm] shotaro: lol yeah they do seem like a handful! but i look forward to getting to know them better!!

[1:23 pm] shotaro: and u too ofc~~

it takes all your willpower not to spam dozens of heart emojis in an attempt to show shotaro just how he has reduced you to a lovesick fool. instead, your response is short and sweet.

[1:23 pm] you: right back at u, taro! ♡

+

“okay, take five,” donghyuck pants, pausing the music blaring from the speakers.

you gladly obey, wiping away the light sweat you had worked up from the latest routine you and hyuck were constructing.

you both belonged to the same dance class and frequently paired together for partnered projects. the rest of your friends attended different classes, which you constantly joked was for the best since there was no way one dance instructor could possibly handle the six of you together.

“how do you feel?” donghyuck asks you, running a hand through his tousled hair.

“the choreo’s great, i’m proud of what we got so far,” you reply. “of course, i would be happier if i didn’t have to get so up close and personal with you.”

donghyuck scoffs at your joke. “i can’t do anything about that. the teacher said the whole concept of the routine is supposed to be is intimate.”

you fake a gag, failing to contain a laugh when hyuck playfully shoves you in offense.

“i’m sorry i can’t be shotaro,” he adds, a smirk forming on his lips.

you roll your eyes. “oh, very funny.”

“c’mon, you’re acting like you wouldn’t kill to have him as your partner, especially with choreo as spicy as this.”

“well, it would beat being paired with you,” you remark, picking up your water bottle and taking a swig.

“hm, then looks like today might be your lucky day,” donghyuck replies, eyes trained somewhere behind you.

you follow his gaze, nearly choking on your water as soon as you catch sight of shotaro entering the studio. he meets your eyes, plucking out his earbuds and offering you a small wave.

“oh, hey guys!” he exclaims, cheerfully.

“hey ’taro,” you greet, rather quickly, earning you a knowing glance from your partner.

“’taro?” hyuck repeats, amused, as he folds his arms over his chest. “you guys are already on cute nickname basis?”

shotaro giggles, eyes squinting adorably as he does so. “it is a pretty adorable nickname, right? she’s the only one who calls me that!”

your heart beats faster when you see how oddly excited that seems to make him. did he somehow find it endearing?

“seems like the two of you are becoming quite close, hm?” continues hyuck.

shotaro nods enthusiastically before glancing at you tentatively, as if to check for confirmation.

“yeah, you could say that.”

your agreement causes yet another smile to grace shotaro’s lips — this time he seems relieved. you briefly wonder if the kid ever stops flashing those pearly whites of his. you certainly hope so, or else your heart may never catch a break.  

“well, since you’re comfortable enough with each other,” donghyuck begins, flashing you a grin.

you’re not even sure what he’s gonna say but you already feel the need to put an end to it. after all, nothing good has ever come of donghyuck’s mischievous grins. you subtly purse your lips and narrow your eyes in an attempt to get him to stop whatever chaos he’s planning to ensue.

nevertheless, he proceeds. “maybe you could help me out with this choreography?”

you want to facepalm at donghyuck’s lame excuse of a lie. however, on the other hand, shotaro’s face lights up in delight.

“you’re working on choreo? what for?” he inquires, curiously.

“for our dance class,” hyuck explains, motioning towards you. “i have a couple ideas so i was thinking you two could maybe try out some steps i’m planning to include. you know, to help me... visualize.”

“that sounds awesome,” shotaro responds, oblivious to your friend’s untruths. “i would love to help you guys out.”

“great!” donghyuck claps his hands together. “just a heads up, the theme of the routine is intimacy, so i wanna see all that charm of yours, shotaro. it’ll, uh, help me choreograph.”

you cringe at the obvious fib. meanwhile, it’s as if a switch has gone off in shotaro’s mind. his smile fades and his eyebrows knit together. “hold on, i-intimacy? does that mean—”

“that you’ll have to get a bit touchy-feely with her? yeah,” donghyuck interjects, innocently.

“y’know... i’ve really been wanting to dance with her.” he faces you, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “just never thought it would be like this.”

you offer him an apologetic smile. “i know, it might be a bit... uncomfortable. you can back out if you’d like. i promise hyuck and i won’t mind.”

shotaro’s head shakes, vigorously. “no, of course not!” he must realize how quick he was to deny your offer, making him suspiciously eager to be close to you as he immediately adds, “i mean, it’s good practice.”

you suppress a giggle. “sure thing. hyuck, should we get started now?”

the boy in question dramatically picks at his nails, acting as if he had been waiting on you both for hours. “if you guys are done flirting, then, yeah.”

you roll your eyes, shooting shotaro a mildly annoyed stare. he grins, finding it to be equally amusing as it is endearing. (what can he say, the faint pout that appeared on your face was cute.)

“shotaro, how about you get in position right behind her.”

shotaro obeys, making sure to leave a significant amount of space between the two of you. however, donghyuck doesn’t seem to approve.

“closer!” he commands. “the concept is intimacy, not social distancing!”

shotaro shuffles forward, pressing his front into your back. you can’t help but notice how firmly toned his chest is. curse his dancers body, you think.

“okay, now, lemme see your hands on her waist!”

you feel the breath of shotaro’s shaky exhale on the back of your neck as he obeys, sliding apprehensive hands around your midsection. there’s silence on donghyuck’s end and through the mirror you watch him observe the two of you, no doubt acting way more pensive than he truly is. you know he’s just prolonging your flustered state by keeping you in this intimate position with the younger boy.

although, shotaro himself might know it too, considering the fact that he begins to rub comforting circles into your sides that he’s currently gripping, as per donghyuck’s request, in an attempt to calm you down. you nearly melt right then and there. at the same time, you hope he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

donghyuck calls out your name, successfully startling you and putting an end to the peaceful atmosphere. “why don’t you go ahead and lean on his shoulder. just lay your head back nice and easy— good, very good! look at that chemistry!”

if you’re being sincere, reclining on shotaro feels way more natural and enjoyable than it should. he steadily holds you in place, almost as if he secretly wishes to never let go. you wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea either.

“alright, last thing, guys! y/n, how about you hook your arm around shotaro’s neck?”

you do so, fingers brushing softly against his jaw. he shivers beneath your touch, erupting into giggles when you shoot him an odd stare.

“i’m ticklish,” he confesses, in a whisper.

you can’t help but smile widely. “is that so? hm, i might have to exploit that information sooner or later.”

“as long as donghyuck doesn’t find out,” he replies.

his comment certainly gets a chuckle out of you. “did you finally realize how evil he is?”

“if the torture he’s putting you through right now is anything to go by, then absolutely.”

“only a matter of time before it’s your turn,” you reply. you lean into his ear to add, “by the way, this is anything but torture for me.”

“hey! no whispering!” donghyuck reprimands.

for the first time, shotaro goes against the older boy’s orders to whisper back, “it’s mutual. if anything, i think this is the best thing i’ve done since i moved here.”

your heart melts at the sincere admission. you stare at shotaro in what you’re sure is a very obvious case of heart eyes. you’re taken aback to find that he, too, returns the lovesick look. perhaps he was immersing himself a bit too much in the intimacy concept...

“stop! pause! cut!”

you and shotaro (reluctantly) untangle yourselves from each other to face a seemingly unhappy donghyuck.

“can you guys please just focus on my instructions without falling in love with each other?” he pleads. “i mean, you haven’t even gotten out of the starting position yet.” he groans, exasperated. “actually, you know what, just take five.”

+

[2:03 pm] hyuck: good morning

[2:03 pm] nana: it’s 2 o clock in the afternoon but ok

[2:03 pm] hyuck: i just woke up, therefore it’s morning

[2:03 pm] shotaro: good morning :3 did u sleep well?

[2:04 pm] hyuck: i slept a wonderful 27 hours, thnx for asking!

[2:04 pm] yangx2: ?????? THERES NOT EVEN 27 HOURS IN A DAY IM SCREAMING

[2:04 pm] you: LOLLL WHY WAS HE HIBERNATING

[2:05 pm] renjun: i was just gonna ignore him but i am genuinely concerned now

[2:05 pm] shotaro: woww,, well at least you’re well rested now! :]

[2:04 pm] nana: shotaro, i am begging u not to encourage him

[2:04 pm] you: all it takes is one (1) supportive person and he becomes an unstoppable force of evil

[2:04 pm] shotaro: o_0

[2:05 pm] jeno: besides ur like the only other person here with common sense besides myself and maybe renjun. i can’t lose u to donghyuck :(

[2:05 pm] renjun: ykw i’m not even gonna argue with that

[2:05 pm] yangx2: yeah shotaro is a good guy™

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i hate u guys and ur goldfish attention spans

[2:06 pm] you: sigh what do you need hyuck?

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i want boba :(

[2:07 pm] you: that actually sounds really good but idk if it’s worth being around u

[2:07 pm] hyuck: i’ll pretend like u didn’t just say that <3 what if i paid?

[2:07 pm] you: ....

[2:08 pm] yangx2: LMAO HYUCK BEING NICE IS SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

[2:08 pm] renjun: ikr it’s making me super uncomfortable rn

[2:08 pm] hyuck: can’t i do something nice for my friends? :/

[2:08 pm] jeno: no

[2:09 pm] nana: nope

[2:09 pm] yangx2: nah

[2:09 pm] renjun: absolutely not

[2:09 pm] you: never seen it happen before so no

[2:10 pm] hyuck: u guys are so fake :( shotaro do u wanna hang out with me? if u say no i’ll scream :)

[2:11 pm] shotaro: yeah i guess i could :]

[2:11 pm] renjun: oh this just got interesting.. i guess i could tag along

[2:11 pm] yangx2: me too, i gotta be there to record whatever happens

[2:12 pm] nana: i’m in

[2:12 pm] jeno: same

[2:12 pm] you: hhhhh okay fine.. only to ensure taro’s safety

[2:13 pm] shotaro: (^з^)-︎♡

+

due to the fact that you believed donghyuck was going to try and officially initiate shotaro into your friend group with one of his infamous pranks, you decided to head to the boba shop. you hoped that if you showed up, you would be able to prevent whatever mayhem he had planned or at the very least, provide some damage control.

you pushed open the door to the quaint building, the bell dinging to announce your arrival. your eyes immediately lock onto the table in the far back since it was where you and your friends always sat — you had practically claimed it. you expect to see all the chairs filled but, to your surprise, only one person occupies the space.

osaki shotaro.

he beams, probably relieved to finally have some company in the otherwise empty shop. (after all, you weren’t sure how long he had been sitting there all alone.) nevertheless, you allow yourself to wonder — just for a second —  if maybe he was just that ecstatic to see you. the way he enthusiastically waves you over seems to be in favor of that theory. it’s almost confirmed when you reach he table and he pats the chair beside him.

you let out a soft laugh. “the whole table’s empty, ‘taro.”

“i know,” he admits. “i just really want you to sit next to me.”

you swear you could break down in tears simply from the way he’s looking at you; like you’re all he needs. it’s pure adoration.  you wonder if that’s how you look at him too. you can’t help but ask yourself if he, too, notices your longing stares.

you decide that you would be a monster if you denied shotaro his wish, so, you internally prepare yourself to sit next to possibly the sweetest boy you’ve ever known. yet, that proves to be difficult as said boy stands up to pull out your chair like the gentleman he is. you shoot him a grateful smile, mentally dethroning jeno as the most well-mannered person you know and passing the crown on to shotaro.

“so, how long have you been waiting for?” you ask, resting your elbow on the table and leaning into your palm to stare attentively at the boy to your right.

“actually, i only got here a couple minutes before you. we did agree to meet up here a quarter before three, right?” he asks, slightly confused.

you nod in confirmation. “honestly, i think we got set up.”

shotaro tilts his head. “really? why would they do that?”

“might have something to do with our ‘chemistry’,” you explain, quoting donghyuck.

the japanese boy’s mouth falls agape, as he comes to the realization. “oh, so they literally set us up.”

“mhm,” you agree, smiling ever so slightly.

shotaro must be paying closer attention than you thought because he picks up on your grin. “what’s with the smile?”

you shrug, feigning uncertainty. “i guess i just don’t feel so bad about being set up if it’s with a certain cutie i know.”

“oh?” he raises a brow, cheeks growing as he too mirrors your lovestruck look. “should i be worried about this guy?”

“certainly not,” you reassure him. “i’ve only got eyes for one.”

you see a faded tint of pink rush to his cheeks and you find it adorable how your confession flusters him. you can’t help but caress the supple skin as gently as possible. shotaro leans into your touch, his own hand coming up to cup your own, almost as if he were holding you in place. after a couple moments of basking in the intimate moment, you retract your hand.

“maybe we should try and get hyuck to include that in the choreo, huh?” you suggest, a teasing smile on your lips.

shotaro chuckles, “sounds good to me. i might even ask if i can fill his position, too. if not, i just might get jealous.”

you playfully shove him and he raises his hands in surrender. you chuckle, grabbing one of the menus that litter the table, planning to offer shotaro some help choosing an item from the list that is surely unfamiliar to him but it seems something outside the window behind you has caught his focus instead.

“looks like we have an audience.”

you take a deep breath at his words, preparing yourself for whatever it is you’re going to see upon turning around. when you finally do, all you manage to catch is five heads ducking beneath the windowsill, in a weak attempt to not get caught.

“of course,” you nearly laugh. “they’re so predictable.”

shotaro seems to find the situation humorous as well, if his amused tone is anything to go by. “to be honest, we should be thanking them. they got us together.”

“oh, so we’re together now?” you inquire, raising a brow.

“w-well, i mean, if you want to. i-i definitely want to.”

“no need for stuttering,” you reassure him, reaching over to stroke that one ticklish spot on his neck. “to quote a very wise — and handsome — young man, ‘it’s mutual.’”

he smiles at his own words being recited to him. “i don’t know about you, but i think we should seal the deal.”

“interesting. how do you suppose we do that?” you ask with faux curiosity. you certainly had some ideas of your own.

“maybe... a kiss?” shotaro leans forward, eyes closed expectantly as he taps his cheek. you resist the urge to pinch his lovely, round baby cheeks. he peeks one eye open to add, “for the audience, of course.”

you giggle, completely and utterly love-struck by the boy before you. in fact, you are so enamored by him that you decide to go the extra mile and press a sweet, chaste peck to his lips.

it seems as if he himself didn’t expect it as his eyes snap open, hand coming up to cup his lips in shock. when he finally uncovers his mouth, you see there’s a dazed, giddy grin on his face that let’s you know the smooch was very welcome pleasant surprise.

your phones simultaneously go off, alerting you of incoming messages. it’s a given that it’s none other than the group chat.

[3:15 pm] nana: that smooch was romcom worthy i’m so impressed right now

[3:15 pm] jeno: shotaro is living proof that being a gentleman has its perks! everyone in this gc should take notes!

[3:15 pm] yangx2: HERE IHAVE THE VDIEO OF THE WHOELE THIGN IF ANYOEN WANTS IT

[3:16 pm] yangx2: attachment: 1 video

[3:16 pm] yangx2: SORURY FOR THE TYPSO MY TEARS ARE BLURRIGN THE KYEBIOARD

[3:16 pm] renjun: can we get boba now?

[3:16 pm] renjun: oh wait my bad, congrats to the new couple :-)

[3:16 pm] renjun: to celebrate they should pay for everyone’s drinks.. just a thought

[3:17 pm] hyuck: ur welcome, y/n and shotaro ;)

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[brelione]

After (The Best Boys)

Series Masterlist

Warnings:Smut, hospitals, mental breakdowns/panic attacks.

After the three weeks that Topper was in the hospital everyone was  in pure agony.None of you were really sleeping properly, your days spent at the hospital with your friend, voices never going above a whisper.

He was getting better, able to sit up in his hospital bed and play uno with you and Rafe while Kelce napped on your lap.Kelce was getting the least sleep, the stress all catching up with him.

You didnt know how to bring it up, instead helping him in the only way you really knew how.That was by extra hugs, a shit ton of forehead kisses and sleeping in his bed with him when he stayed at your house.You had no idea what was happening with you and Rafe.

When Kelce would leave whether it be to the grocery store or to pick up McDonalds you would find yourself on the couch with Rafe, sharing feather like kisses with your arms wrapped around eachother.You still hadnt figured out all your feelings.

You knew that you liked kissing Rafe but you werent sure why.He was gentle and it calmed you but that didnt mean you loved him, right?Sometimes when you were kissing Rafe you’d start to worry about Kelce.

You would usually go with him when he went grocery shopping but he now preferred to go alone, figuring that it would help him clear his head and get lost in the music from his radio.

You laid with your chest pressed against Rafe’s, your hand twirling his hair with his head resting against your neck, arm around your waist.You were still wearing Topper’s hoodie, switching between the gray hoodie you had took from him and the black one with a rabbit sillouhette on the back.

You still felt scared of touching Topper, way too worried about hurting him even when he was practically begging for hugs and forehead kisses.It killed you to not be able to, wanting nothing more than to hug him and kiss him and laugh at how stupid he was.

Rafe sighed, lifting his head from your shoulder, the tip of his nose resting against yours, letting out a small sigh. “You excited to take Topper home tomorrow?”He asked, his eyes only half open as he spoke.You hummed, a small grin on your face. 

“Mhmm...Ive missed him a lot.”You glanced down at Rafe’s lips, looking back up at his eyes.A small smile tugged at his lips, leaning towards you and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, smiling a bit.A dozen of gentle pecks later and he had ended up on top of you, elbows on either side of your waist, sighing against your lips. 

“The nurse said we can do movie nights again soon as long as its not too loud.”He informed you, placing a gentle kiss on your nose, smiling when you let out a small laugh. “Thats good...I think he has to have like infinite movie picking nights.”You replied, leaning up to kiss him again.

He nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah, definitely.But the no horror movie rule still stands, right?”He asked, looking down at you with a big smile.You rolled your eyes, pulling his head down so you could kiss his forehead. 

“Yeah, the rule still stands.”You grinned, your hand going back to play with his soft hair.He had washed it today.You could tell because it was nice and soft, well conditioned with some high end conditioner.

Out of curiosity you sniffed it, face heating up when he lifted his head, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sniffing my hair?”He asked, trying not to laugh.You rolled your eyes.

 “Shut up.”You grumbled, tugging lightly at the dark hair.He let out a low moan, surprising you both. “Did you just…”You trailed off, noticing how red his face had gotten, his face burying itself into the soft fabric of the hoodie. “Shut up!”He exclaimed.

You simply laughed, sniffing his soft hair again, trying to figure out what the scent was.He laughed, holding onto you tightly.His hair smelt like maraschino cherries and roses. “Your hair smells really nice.”You told him, inhaling the scent again.

He let out another laugh, biting his lip. “Yeah?”He asked, trying to remember which shampoo he had used that morning.You nodded, not able to feel your legs from his weight on top of you.The door swung open, Kelce coming in with a brown bag of Chinese food, setting it down on the table.

He didnt say anything, just sat down on the floor and started to take the food out, placing the boxes on the table.You frowned, Rafe getting off of you so you could move across the couch, hugging Kelce from behind. “You okay?”You asked, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

He sighed, leaning back against you and letting you wrap your legs under his arms. “You seem stressed.Do you need to talk about something?”You asked, quiet enough that only he could hear it.He shook his head, opening one of the boxe and handing you a crab rangoon, laughing when you took it in your teeth right from his hand. 

“We need to save rice for Topper.”You reminded Rafe as he scooped it onto a paper plate with a spoon.He frowned, shaking his head. “Nope, Topper drove off a bridge.He gets no rice.”he replied, staring up at you as you glared down at him.

It took a few seconds before he hummed, putting some of his rice back into the container. “Should we get him cake or something?They wont let us smuggle him McDonalds so maybe we should get him that.”You thought out loud, grabbing another crab rangoon.

They shrugged, not really knowing. “My mom wants me to be home more often because she’s convinced i’ll crash like Topper did.I dont know, she just wants me home tomorrow for a family day or something.I’ll probably just stop by Topper’s house after you guys drop him off tomorrow.”Kelce fixed himself a plate, the two of you ending up switching positions so that you were on the floor while he sat on the couch with his legs on either side of you.

You sighed, resting your elbows on his knees while you bit into a piece of shrimp.Rafe turned on the tv, staring at you and Kelce.He wasnt sure what was happening with you.He didnt really understand why you two did what you did or why you guys never talked about it.

He ended up turning on Nickelodeon, glad when Victorious started playing.Rafe was grumpy the whole night, up until three in the morning as he scrolled through his phone.You and Kelce were cuddled up at the end of the couch, your arms and legs wrapped around him with your nose pressed against his chest, loud snored escaping the two of you.

Eventually he fell asleep, his phone on his chest and his head on the arm rest.He was woken up by you jumping up and down on the couch, grinning when you saw his eye open. “You gotta get up, bubs.We have to go get Topper.”You reminded him, hopping off the couch.

Rafe groaned, shifting on the couch and resting his face against the cushion.He dozed off again, grumbling when you climbed on top of him, demanding that he get up. “Hmm...where’s Kelce?”He asked, eyes half open. “He went home, its almost three in the afternoon, Topper can leave by four.”You kissed Rafe’s forehead, noticing how confused he was. 

“Three?”He asked, looking over to check the time on his phone.You nodded, getting off of him and heading upstairs to change your clothes.He groaned, finally getting off your couch and stretching his long limbs.Dragging himself up the stairs and into your guest room he had nearly fell on the stairs twice, closing the door behind him.

His clothes were scattered all over the room, groaning as he searched for his yellow shirt, cursing.He forgot to knock, walking straight into your room. “Hey, do you have my yellow shirt?”He asked, watching you tie your shoes.You bit your lip, glancing over to your closet.

 “No.”You lied, standing up straight once you had your shoes on.He chuckled, walking over to your closet.You quickly grabbed his arm, trying to prevent him from opening the door.He easily held you back, seeing the yellow shirt hanging in the closet.

He grabbed it, running past you. “Rafe!You cant have that!”You shouted, running through the house.He laughed, running into your kitchen before realising he had cornered himself.You ran at him, trying to take the shirt back.

 “Rafe-thats mine!”You exclaimed, clinging onto his arm and trying to bring it back down so you could take it from him. “No, no its not.”He answered, holding it high above his head.You sighed, wrapping your arms around his torso.

He frowned, eventually giving in and hugging you back, forgetting that he was holding the shirt when you swiped it from him, holding it to your chest. “thanks.”You grinned, stepping on your tiptoes to kiss him lightly.He sighed, arms tight around your waist, knowing it would be the last kiss he got that morning since you two would most likely be with Topper for the rest of the day.

 “Hmm...we gotta go.”He mumbled against your lips, not really wanting to pull away.You sighed softly, kissing him again. “Let me just grab my backpack really quick.”You kissed his nose, noticing how tired he looked.You grabbed your small leather backpack before coming back into the kitchen, seeing Rafe eating a handful of frozen berries right out of the bag.The two of you got into the car in silence as you texted Kelce.

You:Hows family day going?

Bean:we cant decide on a movie

Bean:hows Topper doing?

You:We’re on our way to the hospital rn.My heart is literally pounding im kinda nervous ngl

Bean:felt that.How’s Rafe doing?He seemed mad last night

You:Rafe’s fine he just slept weird

You:Are you ok?You’ve been really stressed lately

Read at 3:43 pm

You sighed, placing your phone between your thighs.Rafe raised an eyebrow, wondering whether or not he should ask about your sudden mood change.You were out of the car before it even stopped, speed walking to the hospital entrance with Rafe close behind you.

You took in a deep breath as you walked through the motion activating doors, the cool air conditioned air hitting your skin.Rafe came up quick behind you, not wanting to lose you in the hospital.

Topper was sitting at a little waiting area on a red couch, reading something from a magazine.He was wearing loose gray sweatpants and a white T Shirt, squinting as he tried to read.You ran over to him, grinning when he looked up at you, slowly standing up and letting you hug him.

You closed your eyes,arms tight around his torso, his nose in your hair. “Hi.”He grinned, trying not to laugh.You were acting like you hadnt seen him in months, cautious of his casted arm. “Hi.”You replied, feeling your eyes moisten.

You refused to let go even when Topper lifted up his head to greet Rafe.His forehead wound had healed nicely, a stip of medical tape over the area.The stitches had been removed a few days prior, the tip of his tongue fully healed so he could eat better foods.

 “(Y/N).”He mumbled, a red blush across his face.You took in a big breath, looking up at him curiously. “I asked the nurse and she said I can have forehead kisses now.”He replied, flicking your hip lightly.

You sighed, cupping his face so he’d lean down a bit, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead.A weight lifted off his shoulders, letting out a low sigh.He had missed that feelin so much, glad he could finally enjoy your touch again.He sighed softly, resting his head on your shoulder.

 “We’re gonna get McDonalds and Kelce said he’d stop by your house later.Do you need to check out with the nurse or something?”You asked, feeling his hot breath against your collarbone. “Noo...we can just go.”He replied, most of his weight on you.You sighed, rubbing his back. “Are you sure?”You asked.

He nodded, kissing your jaw lightly.You looked over to Rafe, seeing him just standing there nervously.Once Topper had picked up the magazine and slid it up his shirt you guys walked out, Topper holding your hand tight, the sun causing him to squint.

You sat in the backseat with Topper, making sure that his seatbelt was secure. “Its scary to be in a car again.”He admitted, holding onto the door handle.You sighed, squeezing his hand. 

“The ride to your house from here is pretty smooth, no bridges or anything.”You reminded him, feeling his good hand on your thigh. “Can I turn on the radio?”Rafe asked.Topper sighed, kissing your temple. “Low volume.”He told the brunette, leaning against you with his eyes squeezed shut as the car started moving.

Your hand was running though his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck and avoiding his hairline.You placed a kiss on the top of his head, feeling yourself blushing a bit. “Hey, hey what do you guys want?”Rafe asked as he pulled up to the drive thru, stopping the truck.Topper grinned. 

“Uhh...a quarter pounder with extra pickles and large fries.”He replied, noticing how you were staring at his blue cast.Rafe pulled up to the window, handing you the large brown paper bag.You were quick to unwrap Topper’s burger halfway for him, letting him hold it. 

 “What about meds?Do we need to pick them up for you?”You asked, taking one of his fries.He slowly shook his head, slurping down his burger, nearly dropping a pickle. “No, they’re getting dropped by my house.”he replied, offering you a bite of his burger.

 “Thats good.”You mumbled, taking another fry. “What kind of meds?”Rafe asked, shutting up when he saw you glare at him. “Just like, pain meds.I dont know.Ive gotta take like three a day for two weeks I think.”He replied, halfway done with his burger when he quietly asked you if you could wrap it back up for him so he could save it for later.

Your heart dropped when Rafe pulled into his driveway, knowing that you wouldnt be able to see him again until tomorrow.You got up, helping him inside the house and shutting the door behind you, sighing. “Its been a while.”You muttered, taking in the white tile of the opening room, a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

He nodded in agreement, slowly walking into his living room.It wasnt too different from yours except for the gray carpet and the different couch.He sat down on it, seeming confused.You placed the McDonalds bag on the side table, looking down at him. 

“Hey, can I tell you something without you freaking out?”he asked, shifting in his spot so he could look at you properly.You hummed, hoping it wasnt something too bad. “Yeah, yeah I guess.”You replied, waiting anxiously.He gulped, taking in a large breath.

It took him a second to finally form words, his legs tingling. “Um...so im in love with you and I have been for a while now.I dunno, when I called 911 the last thing I thought about was you.I just thought you should know.”He confessed, his heart thumping so hard that if he were still in the hospital the nurses would come rushing in.

Your eyes widened, trying to think of something to say.That wasnt what you were expecting him to say, taking in a large breath that hurt your ribs. “um...uh….I um….”You stuttered, taking in another breath.You let out a nervous giggle, covering your face.

 “Im sorry, this is just crazy….um….so can we just….can we talk about this another time, please?”You asked, not sure you could handle everything that was being thrown at you.Topper nodded, grinning.

 “Yeah, yeah its fine...we dont have to talk about it.I just wanted you to know.”He muttered, avoiding your gaze. “Alright...um...im gonna go but i’ll see you tomorrow.”You left quickly, shutting the door and hopping into the passenger seat, still shaking.

Rafe frowned, trying to figure out what had happened. “Whats wrong?”He asked, hand on your thigh to get it to stop bouncing.You sighed, looking over at him. “Topper just….he’s talking weird.Its stupid, hes drugged out of his mind anyways.Can we just go home, please?”You asked, wanting to focus on something else.

Had all those hugs and kisses meant something different to Topper this whole time?Or did they just mean something different to you?Now things were starting to make sense.Why Topper had left that night three nights ago, why he had always glared at Kelce whenever the two of you were cuddling.

Now you felt all the guilt.You were hurting Topper this whole time by being so close with Rafe and Kelce when he was supposedly in love with you.And now you would be hurting Topper now because of how often you and Rafe did things that shouldnt be done between best friends.

Everything was so fucked up now.Rafe was pouting, trying to understand what possibly couldve happened in the five minutes that you were inside Topper’s house. “Are you okay?Did something bad happen?”He asked, reaching for your hand.

You sighed, lifting your hands so your elbows were on the armrest, resting your head against his hand. “No, just weird shit.Its fine, Rafe.”You replied, sighing when he pulled into your driveway.It was already 5:30.You got out of his truck, going inside quickly. “Hey, why are you walking so fast?”Rafe asked, struggling to keep up with you even with his long legs.

You simply huffed, going up the stairs.He was confused, following you anyways. “I just…”You trailed off, groaning as you flopped onto your bed.He pouted, sitting at the foot of your bed after closing your door. “What?”He asked, not understanding.

You rolled onto your back in a starfish position, staring at the ceiling. “Im just stressed is all.Do you want to watch something?”You asked, looking over to see your remote on your night stand, surprised when his hands gripped your hips. “Do you want me to help with the stress?”He asked, hovering over you.

You knew where he was getting at, not sure how to think about it.It had been nearly a month since he had touched you like that but it had lead to something bad happening.But thinking something bad would happen everytime you messed around with someone was crazy, right?

You slowly leaned up, kissing him lightly.It didnt take long for his hands to move down to your pants, carefully pulling them down your legs.He looked up at you before pulling down your light blue underwear, making sure that you were okay before dipping his tongue into you, holding your thighs down as he pressed a kiss to your clit.

You let out a low moan, fingers squeezing at your comforter as he licked a stripe up your folds.One of your hands moved down, tugging lightly at his hair.He let out a moan, letting you direct him the way you wanted, his tongue plunging in and out of you, eyes closing.

He sucked on your clit, trying not to smile at how loud you were, slipping a finger into your entrance.He wasn't sure how this would end up, remembering your promise from last time.You moaned loudly when he added another finger, pumping them in and out of you.

He could feel you getting close, kitten licking your clit to tease you.A shiver ran up your spine, moaning loudly as your eyes clenched shut. “Rafe-please.”You whimpered.He smiled up at you, adding another finger to stretch you out a bit, slowly moving.

 “Rafe.”You whined, trying to get him to move faster.He simply chuckled, giving you what you wanted and beginning to speed up, your moans only making him move faster.You climaxed with a loud, high pitched moan, letting go of his hair as you panted.

Feeling his tongue moving again you let out a soft moan as he cleaned you up, your fluids on his chin and fingers as he licked them clean.He wiped his chin off with the back of his hand, looking up at you. “Rafe.”You whispered, knowing how crazy you were about to sound.

He leaned back over you, his nose touching yours. “yeah?”He asked, not sure what to expect.You let out a soft sigh, kissing him gently. “I want...I want to go all the way.”You told him, noticing his breath hitch in his throat.He gulped, not sure if he could do it.

He didn't want to hurt you. “Are you sure?”He asked, looking into your eyes.You nodded slowly, anxiety building up in you as he slowly pulled down his pants, letting you palm him through his boxers.He let out a moan, wanting you to apply more pressure.

 “Are you sure that you want this?”He repeated his question, biting his lip.You let out a shaky breath, nodding. “Im sure.”You replied, eyes widening when he pulled down his boxers.He was huge.You just had to hope it wouldn't hurt as bad as it looked.

 “Its gonna hurt a little, alright?I need you to tell me what you want.If you want me to stop I need you to tell me.If you want me to slow down I need you to tell me, okay?”He asked, wanting to make sure that everything would be okay.You nodded, touching his hair lightly.

The first few inches didn't hurt but when he was about half way in you hissed in pain, gripping his shoulders.He came to a halt, looking down at you with a concerned expression. “Baby, hey, hey.Do you need me to stop?”He asked, preparing to pull out when your fingernails dug into his skin. 

“no...no.Keep going.”You replied.He began to move again slowly, biting his lip.He was nearly fully inside you, trying not to moan as you kept clenching around him due to his size.You were whimpering, eyes becoming watery as he was finally inside of you.It stung a lot, scratching up his back.You sniffled, glad he was taking things slow.

You took in a deep breath, a few tears rolling down your cheeks. “Shh...I know, I know.It’s okay, you’re okay.”Rafe whispered, cupping your face and wiping away the tears. “It hurts.”You whispered, sniffling.He bit his lip, kissing his forehead as he tried to help with the pain or at least distract you from it.

He wanted to pull out and run you a bath, trying not to make himself cry. “Do you want me to stop?”He aksed, trying his best to stay completely still.You shook your head, holding onto hims tighter, his  face in the crook of your neck with his chest pressed against yours.

 “Baby- I indeed you to try and relax, alright?Tensing up only makes it worse, take deep breaths, ready?Breath in, breath out.”He pressed a gentle kiss to your collarbone, listening to your breathing. “Good girl...in and out, just keep breathing.Im gonna start moving a little, okay?”He asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder.

He took in a deep breath, pulling out ever so slightly before pushing back in, clenching his eyes shut. “You okay?”he asked, pulling his head from your shoulder, looking down at you.You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Yeah-it hurts a little but im okay.”You confirmed, kissing him lightly.He let out a soft sigh, squeezing your waist lightly.

 “Ready?”He asked, keeping his hands on your hips, waiting.You let out a shaky breath, nodding.He was careful, only pulling out a quarter of the way before slowly moving back in, jaw dropping when you moaned.His heart was thumping fast as he moved slowly, groaning.

 “Shit.”He whispered, leaning down to kiss your cheeks, nose and lips. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”He asked, pulling out halfway this time before pushing back in, watching as your eyes widened and a moan came from you.

  “Shit, Rafe.”You moaned, nails digging further into his back.He took a deep, shaky breath. “God, youre so fucking tight.”He moaned, letting out a low whimper, repeating the action of pulling out halfway before pushing in again. “Rafe-”You couldn't even form a full sentence before you were moaning again.

He was pleased with your reaction, moving a little faster and pulling out almost completely before pushing back in. “You want me to slow down?”He offered.You shook your head, running a hand through his hair. “Faster.”You muttered, seeing a surprised look spread across his face.

He began to speed up his actions, pulling out nearly completely before plunging back into you, both of you moaning loudly,He was panting, a light layer of sweat covering his face, going as fast as he could. “Rafe-im gonna-”You moaned, your head rolling against your pillow as you clenched around him,cumming all over his cock.

He licked his lips, slowly pulling out of you.He picked up a towel from your floor, carefully wiping your thighs clean. “You did so well, baby.How are you feeling?”He asked, picking up his boxers from the foot of the bed and pulling them back up, laying down next to you.

The sun was just going down, red and purple hues covering the sky like a wonderful painting, the golden light coming through your blinds.You held onto his arm, resting against his bicep. “Im fine...im tired as shit but im fine.”You replied, hearing your phone ringing from your shorts.

You sighed, too tired to move.Rafe grabbed it for you, telling you that Kelce was trying to call you.You were panting too hard to answer, Rafe gulping and licking his lips before lifting the phone to his ear. “Hello?”He asked.You noticed the way his eyes widened, eyebrows knitting together. 

“Chill, man.Just- what do you mean you broke it?Well dont-hello?”Rafe asked, realising his friend had hung up.You looked up at him with a confused expression, trying to figure out what was wrong. “So Kelce broke his door and he’s on his way now.He really doesn't sound too good.”Rafe answered, slowly sitting up.

After the call about Topper you thought you had heard the worst news you’d ever recieve.But hearing that Kelce had broke something made you want to vomit.Kelce freaking out was how you knew the world had hit rock bottom but it didnt help that you didnt know what he was freaking out about.Shit.

@sweetlittlegingy    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway  @stellariddle @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8 @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @teenagekook @i-love-scott-mccall

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on Gallavich Hall of Shame

Wow okay this is the latest I’ve ever posted a weekly recap and I feel awful about it but mom life amirite? I’ve seen a lot of negative posts about this episode( maybe I just follow the wrong people) so ngl I’m kinda worried about watching it. Ugh. This is why I try to not look up things until I’ve had a chance to recap because I hate being influenced by other people’s opinions BUT I’m gonna try my best to find the positive things in the episode and keep this light hearted and fun like I’ve been trying to do all season! Okay I’ll shut up now and get right into why you’re really reading this post:

Oh baby Gallavich :(((((

THEY WERE SO LITTLE

Bitch don’t even say the word divorce

They’re sitting side by side playing a game together 😭😭😭😭

Mickey loves blowing ian pass it on

Oh fuck I forgot that belt move ian did 🤤🤤🤤

Nob job lmao

MID GOBBLE

ugh Ned was the most disgusting piece of shit

Who are those two exes wtf

I don’t know their names but I forgot I never watched any episode Mickey wasn’t in lmao

WAIT A WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK

Wow Mickey Milkovich really deserves so much better

Compilation of Mickey saying fuck THANK YOU

Omfg s4 Mickey was actually perfect

“Course you will. That’s your whole fucking MO” oh shit..

Wow remembering the past is really making me hate ian again lmao

Just when I started loving him for once

But then I remember how much he’s grown and I love him again

Fuck the writers tho

Let me write Gallavich please I’d do a much better job

Okay y’all really made it seem like Mickey was super offensive with his bipolar comment

I’m bipolar and hate when people use the term lightly but cmon guys that was nothing

He even called it a bipolar episode. He didn’t say anything offensive at all omfg. I was over here thinking he called him a psycho or something.

Some of y’all just gotta stop watching and stick to fanfics or something.

“I wish I never met you.” “Me either” THEN THEIR FUCKING WEDDING FUCK YALL NOW IM IN MY FEELS 😭😭

They’ve been through so much wow

Okay I need to see Mickey wearing a fanny pack

THE RING AND THE FLASHBACK STOP

GIVE MICKEY AND IAN A BABY

Fuck I need to rewatch the wedding

“Stupid gallagher” same

Mickey giving the Fanny pack back my boy is such a Good Samaritan wow I raised you so well I’m so proud my perfect son

SHIT I JUST REALIZED WHAT SONG IS PLAYING FUCK THIS YALL IM OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh gosh I thought we were done seeing ian Gallagher’s dance moves

Why would they put us through that again

“Stupid Milkovich” you watch your mouth

But we love when a man learns from his mistakes

Now kiss

Mickey is beautiful damn ian is so lucky

Now this is the type of flashback I like to see

MICKEY SAYING HES SENSITIVE DO YALL REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS?!

Ugh I love him so much

I’m so proud to be his mom

Okay unpopular opinion but I actually love that little how’d your bipolar tirade go how’d your stealing shit go

If you’ve been with someone through their rock bottoms you’ll understand how not offensive at all that interaction was

They both said things they felt bad about saying and now they’re having a bit of banter about it

“We work well together”

GUYES THEYRE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OUT THIS IS HUGE

They needed space after feelings got hurt but now they’re coming together to make up and actually talk things over

They’re learning and growing apart AND together

They both had the horrible childhoods and they’re doing their best

It takes years and years of therapy to work through deep rooted issues like that. I’m STILL seeing a therapist twice a week and I still have issues.

Just imagine. They’re how old? Mid to late twenties and neither of them have properly dealt with their issues and mental health problems. You can’t expect them to be the perfect couple you read about in fanfics. Yeah shameless is over the top but it’s a tv show that has stayed on the air for 11 seasons BECAUSE of how over the top it is. Stop expecting these characters to be healed healthy woke changed characters from one season to the next when they haven’t even properly dealt with their issues and it would honestly be very ooc if they did deal with their issues in a healthy way

I wish they would but that’s not the shameless way.

Well that was a long rant but honestly it was needed

Ugh I hate reliving terry this is the worst my heart is breaking

I skipped fast

Terry is definitely worse but yeah they’re both pieces of shit

Shit I forgot how abusive frank was

They both deserve so much better

They’re so cute oh gosh

We love communication

Okay but fr taking a bath with your SO isn’t as romantic as people think or maybe I’m just not a romantic lmao

Unless it’s a big bathtub with leg room

Mickey has the best lines

He’s so funny 😭😭😭

Mickey loves being manhandled✨✨✨✨

Honestly? I really think they would be really into some safe consensual bdsm play and they deserve to have that

PICK HIM UP IAN PLEASE ITS WHAT HE WANTS

fucking love you

I love you too

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS ARE MY FAVORITE THING

IAN LOVES TO DO THE THUMB THING I CANT

HE DID IT EIGHT TIMES IN THREE SECONDS I COUNTED

they’re so perfect for each other :(((

A kissing compilation 😭😭

THE S7 VAN KISS HAS MY HEART

I still want a scene of Mickey making fun of Ian’s black hair

THE WEDDING 😭😭😭

I’m in tears again

THE KEY CHANGE WITH IAN SAYS MICKEY STILL GETS ME 😭😭😭😭

“Now?” HOW DOES ONE WORD GET SUCH A BIG REACTION FROM ME

I deserved to be at that wedding 😭😭😭

“But not these newlyweds” damn right

THE BLOOPERS

I love them so much

I LOVE SEEING NOEL AND CAM AT WORK

What a treat

SWEET LOVING MOUTH

THE THUMB THING AGAIN

JUST FOR ME

I MISS SEASONN FOUR MICKEY I WANNA GO WATCH HIM NOW

I love Mickey more than anything 😭😭

Okay that was so much better than I was expecting! I know I ranted a lot and I’m probably gonna get some angry comments and messages but I honestly don’t care. Have your opinion and I’ll have my own and if you wanna discuss things like adults I’ll reply but if not then I don’t have time for the negativity. My boys actually communicated and didn’t self sabotage for once and I’m so proud. I love not being as invested as I used to be because now I can actually enjoy their scenes! Anyway it’s late where I’m at and I haven’t been getting much sleep so I’m gonna stop rambling. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Oh and real quick! I noticed I got a flood of new followers in the past two weeks so i just wanted to say feel free to send me messages on and off anon! I like talking to y’all! I promise I’m nice lol! Okay bye I love Mickey so much!

[sxfterhearts]

42. [7:35 pm]

➳ pairing: youngjae x reader ft. amateur chef!jaebeom

➳ genre/warnings: fluff, just fluff, mildly suggestive towards the end (I haven’t written in ages so I guess that’s also a warning??)

➳ word count: 1,190 words

➳ summary: “Is this okay?”

➳ author's note: see below!!

//

“Speak up, hyung!” Youngjae breathed heavily into the microphone of his earphones. “I can’t hear anything you’re saying!”

“Young– Give me a sec,” He heard Jaebeom draw a deep breath before bellowing out an ear-piercing “Keep it down, Bam, or I’ll whoop your ass!”

Youngjae flinched, his sweaty palm nearly losing its grip on the rubber spatula.

It was an early Friday night in. He had purposely rushed back to your shared apartment the moment the clock hands struck five. Not that this wasn’t a regular occurrence, but he wanted to be extra early tonight in order to execute his plan. Youngjae thought of the perfect way to spend your first Friday after starting a new job at a well-known company in the city. Your boyfriend, being the attentive and caring person he was, intended to treat you to a bubble bath while he prepared a wholesome three course meal for you. Or at least, he was trying to.

“Sorry, Bambam’s just… being Bambam. You know how it is. Now, where was I?” Jaebeom paused, musing over his thoughts like an old man suffering from short-term memory loss.

Youngjae grit his teeth in frustration and stress as he watched the concoction of dark chocolate chips and butter melt before his very eyes. Who would’ve thought baking brownies could’ve been this stressful? “The chocolate. I melted the chocolate chips with the butter over the stove. What’s next?”

“I’m pretty sure you have to crack the eggs into the bowl. Oh wait, no, no. You have to add the vanilla extract first. Just a tiny bit, though. We don’t want it to overpower the chocolatey taste.”

“How much? Two tablespoons?”

“Are you crazy? This is a chocolate brownie, not a vanilla cupcake. A teaspoon should be fine, I think. Or was it a quarter? Shit…”

The man closed his eyes to contain his anger and heaved a large sigh. “If you just wrote down the recipe we wouldn’t be in this position, hyung…”

The elder completely dismissed his comment. “Try a teaspoon. I’m like, ninety-nine percent sure I’m right.”

Youngjae had no other choice but to oblige. After all, everyone knew, including you and the boys, that he could not bake to save his life.

And yet, here he was, trying his hands at baking your favourite dessert – brownies. He even bought the premium vanilla ice cream that you liked to quenelle on top of it later (thankfully it was on sale). Youngjae really wanted to pamper you tonight.

“It’s not that difficult, right, Youngjae? This recipe is foolproof. My cousin tried it last month and he’s only twelve.”

Youngjae wasn’t too sure about that. Sceptical, he cracked three room-temperature eggs into the gooey, fragrant chocolate mixture. “Won’t the eggs cook in the chocolate ‘cos it’s boiling hot?”

Silence.

“Hyung?”

“Listen, Youngjae, I’m not a baking god. I don’t know the answer to every single question you have. Just do as I say and pray really hard that your brownies will turn out well.” Jaebeom snapped. “Have you mixed the eggs? You have to make sure the mixture is incorporated well and as shiny as Jackson’s forehead on a hot day.”

A commotion broke out on the other end of the line. Youngjae assumed it was due to Jaebeom’s offhanded comment about the state of Jackson’s skin.

“The last thing you have to do is just mix in the flour and cocoa powder, then you can pour it into the baking pan. It has to be a square one, nine by nine inches and lined with baking paper. Oh, and you need to grease the bottom of the pan first.”

Youngjae’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “You could’ve told me this earlier! I don’t– What is nine by nine inches? Why are you even using inches, we’re in Korea!” He huffed exasperatedly.

“Twenty-three centimetres, you doofus. Find one, hurry! Otherwise the mixture will harden.”

After rummaging through your stash of baking supplies for a good five minutes, he finally found the all-important baking pan. With Jaebeom’s uniquely reassuring words, Youngjae eventually managed to pour the batter in and placed the pan into the oven with trembling hands. The boy was nervous – he just wanted everything to be perfect tonight.

Somewhere between the fifteen-minute mark and an endless string of ridiculously cute puppy videos, the door’s keypad beeped. Standing up straight, Youngjae pulled off his chocolate-stained apron and jogged towards the door in anticipation.

“Youngjae, guess what! Oh,” You paused mid-sentence, your head poking curiously into the apartment as the brownie’s fragrant aroma tickled your senses. “What smells so good? Did you bake?”

“Hey baby!” Youngjae greeted like his usual bright self, your previous bursts of stress long forgotten. He reached for your handbag and laptop bag, gently ushering you into the comforts of your home. “I did. You’re in for a relaxing night, my darling. I’ve already ran you a bath, and you can use one of your sparkly pink bath bombs.” You couldn’t take off your shoes fast enough the moment you heard the word ‘relax’.

Your mouth fell slightly agape as you held Youngjae’s buttery hands in yours, eyes filled to the brim with fascination and gratitude. “You did?”

“Yes, baby. Go! Take off your clothes and get soaking. Dinner will be ready in another half an hour.” Youngjae guided you towards the ensuite, where he ran the waters and tested the temperature just moments earlier.

You gladly welcomed his suggestion. After all, the best way to unwind after a long day of work was to soak in glittery rose-scented water and allow the knots upon knots of worries to melt away.

Your mind solely focussed on the motions of shucking off your pencil skirt and unbuttoning your blouse once you released the bath bomb. The sweet aroma overtook your senses and overpowered your stress.

A sigh involuntarily left your lips as you sank into the warm, perfumed water. Picking up the book Youngjae thoughtfully left on the edge of the bathtub, you repositioned yourself into a comfortable position. The distant humming coming from Youngjae in the kitchen, the gentle sloshing of water as you flipped the pages and the wonderful feeling of soaking your sore muscles… Nothing could get better than this.

Youngjae appeared twenty pages later to feed you a slice of his freshly baked brownies. Crouching down by your side, he inspected your facial features for any reaction with complete earnest.

“I hope that it’s okay. Is this okay?” He breathed.

“It’s more than okay, it’s everything that I need…” You paused, tongue running repeatedly over the edges of your lips in search of brownie remnants. “What did you put in these brownies, babe?”

“I… Is it… Bad? Does it taste funny? I–”

“No, not at all!” You giggled. “It’s so, so, so good! I could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Speaking of dinner…”

“The entrée is still cooking on the stove.” Youngjae admitted sheepishly.

“Hmm… That’s a shame. I’m hungry for a different type of dinner.”

“Wh… What do you mean?”

“I meant, I’d love to have you for dinner. Come, join me.”

//

➳ author's note: woah ok!! I started this towards the end of my last internship and finally mustered up the courage, strength, mental capacity etc etc to finish it off. I’m sorry if its lacklustre (which im sure it is) but just really really wanted to post this!!! (im busting with excitement omgomg) I’ve been busy with internships and having existential crises and also (ngl) procrastinated with my writing and this blog which is why I’ve been sosososoo absent. I don’t want to make empty promises but yeah, I hope to get back into tumblr again! Honestly was in such a good headspace when I was active on here, I miss it sm, I miss interacting with you guys omg okay I will stop rambling. Good night I love you ALL!!!

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide