#im very tired i should go to sleep
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After G5Luffy showed up in the Manga I saw someone bitching about how they hated it because Luffy being a "god" is stupid and it takes away from his character and makes the manga/anime cliche and just another run of the mill story as if Luffy vibing himself into godhood isn't the most Luffy thing he could ever do, like are we even consuming the same media, Luffy will always be Luffy. Is he overpowered? Nah, bitch, he's Luffypowered, just let him be silly. I needed a god to pray to anyway, thank you Oda. Our Nika who art in the Grand Land hallowed be thy Strawhat, or whatever, I was raised catholic so I'm funny traumatized.
#im very tired i should go to sleep#but fuck that person#one piece#monkey d luffy#straw hat pirates#straw hat luffy#sun god nika#nika nika no mi#gomu gomu no mi
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quick question: is optimus primal putting optimus prime's spark in his body during beast wars season 3 some kind of mpreg?
#optimus primal out here living the im my own grandpa song's storyline fr fr lmao#shitpost#tf shitpost#transformers#random shit#optimus primal#optimus prime#tf bw#tf#beast wars#i should go to sleep im very tired#maccadam
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barely four hours into the new month and im already silly
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#arasawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#BYE LMAO#i just wanted to draw arakawa tbh but then somehow sawashiro ended up here too#a reward for me for shotgunning all of my comm sketches tonight :)))))#im lying of course. there was SOME intent. but i really didnt expect to make this a 'whole' thing#at the very least i just expected to post the sketch and call it a night but I Am Not Tired And I Fear Time Loss So Might As Well#anyway todays inspo for this is uhhhhhhhhhhh heavage LMAO#my guy being SO respectful not to peak... couldnt be me Who Said That#sorry i draw young arasawa so much. it just tickles me cause i get to Reasonably make jo a doofus#yk. before he fully invests himself in The Horrors and becomes a cunt. still love him tho <3 maybe even more cause of it LMAOO#ok i should sleep. but im not going to cause im gonna go work out HAHA BYYYYYEEE#posting this now so i stop looking at it and feeling like i need to add more to it BITCH ITS JUST A SCRIBBLE MOVE ON AND EXERCISE
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Man this day has taken it fucking out of me
#of me. on me. idk English can suck my dick at this point#discussions about gender with my dad contemplating once again if i should come out as NB or not#(decided not bc his stance on lgbtq+ is very much “labels are ridiculous why do people make a big deal of it just be who you are” which.#i wish the rest of the world was as uncaring about whether you're queer or not. but when the fam watches a mini program about being NB#and hes still all “i dont really get it” and “theyre people first and foremost and idc” i just. don't think i need to spend energy on that)#(bc it's positive in a way but also. a little draining at times.#bc he WANTS to understand but he also wants to go into discussion why it shouldn't matter)#(like that's great dad. not a bad attitude i. principle. but sadly it does matter and people DO raise hell over it)#anyway all that on not enough sleep#and a very long week#i need a fucking break but like an idiot i did not request time off until christmas#i might try and get some days off before then bc im dragging myself through the week half the time by my fingernails#and then the weekend is just not enough time to recover#fuck im tired#anne speaks
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍
#i thought it was just a stray hair on my elbow under the blanket and kept trying to shake it off#and then i finally went to brush it off w my hand and felt a bump there#and then it was unbearably itchy so i turned the lamp on to apply some anti-itch stuff bc it was driving me nuts#and i was trying to see where it was on my elbow bc wtf when did i get bit#and then i looked at it and it was very pale like a fresh bite and then there was some skin torn like a spider bite#i cant tell if theres two little holes or not and honestly idk if spiders always leave two fang marks fjdkdl#but it doesnt look like a mosquito bite unless i tore the skin myself from scratching at it#but the way it is looking... very similar to past spider bites#anyways i just removed everything from my bed and methodically searched Everything. looked all around the bed too. cannot find a spider#so. shrug. <- actually very afraid#but the thing that makes me Really think it's a spider is that the bump was super pale and now after a little while it is regular skintone#so that makes me think it was a brand new fresh bite the way it was a different colour and now its normal looking#which is uhhh scary! to have had a spider possibly in my bed!#and I can't find it so i simply do not Know and that is going to make it so hard to sleep tonight fjfkdl#man i barely ate today too so im just... really not doing well at this very moment fjfkdl#i cant eat anything rn though bc i already brushed my teeth and i dont want to do that again tonight fjfkdl#but i am. so hungry. augh. idk what I'd even eat anyways im too anxious to stomach anything#WHERE IS THIS SPIDER. WHY DID IT CHOOSE MY BED TO BE IN 😭#im in bed so often ... it should avoid places where ppl are ....#i feel like such shit rn fjdkdl i just rly wish i didnt have to deal w all these bugs#in the past month I've had a couple spiders and Several(!) weevils and a centipede and a clicker beetle and a couple earwigs#im just so tired of bugs i rly am fjfkdl idk why they choose to come inside and idk HOW they're getting inside#i hate living in a basement!!#i just want to sleep so i dont have to deal w being awake for a while fjdkls but now im all freaked out#i want to curl into a little ball and blink out of existence I'll be so honest rn. im just. idk.#✨ I don't think I have a place in society ✨ i am not a good enough person to exist in the world ✨#i dont want to go to sleep bc what if the spider comes back fjfkdl i wish i would've found it so i could've trapped it#and then let it outside tomorrow! i wouldnt have even killed it. the universe should've given me that one bc im so niceys#unfortunately the universe doesnt play nice w me fjfksl#spider tw
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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auhh. ahhbhbhbhbhbbbh . ghh
#nierposting#<- trust me#well i suppose theres also a weird sense of loneliness that overcomes me when i am very tired... i should sleep#but mostly im thinking sbout. the vdieogsme. both of them relaly. fuckkk am i gonna get wnother au fuck fuck fuck#me & my hildemet aus against the world this is going to get worse
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motivation where have you gone :(
#i ah#i have no motivation to do any studying despite not studying for the past like two days askldjfalkh#ive been too sleep deprived the last two days to focus so i just figured its better to sleep/rest instead#but now that its a full day im like :I hmmm this doesnt seem like fun#which is silly because i actually really like respiratory lmao#i dont mind doing questions for resp because its not too bad#but my problem is the energy it takes to take notes is whats making it Tiring#if i could id just skim instead and then move on but if i do that i wouldnt remember anything alksjdfha#maybe i should make a list of things i could do with my breaks#ill try to also do the timer thingy too#im just :( can i go play my viddygames instead why is studying so hard and such a long process aslkdjhfal#im at least in a better mood though!! im happy at least with that but also i am very sleepy bzzztbzzt#snow speaks
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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There better not be a fucking tornado while I'm sleeping, or I'll be so pissed
#i dont wanna die in my sleep or worse wake up to my house damaged#marquilla#i wish i wasnt so tired bc i like watching storm radars but im eepy sleepy#reading the radar is super easy to me and i have tried explaining it to mom many many times but shes like ??#like okay green yellow orange and red all rain. the farther from green you go the more heavy the rain#not even getting into hook echos and shit but like basic 'this is what those colors mean' and i only learned bc i was a very#anxious kid and storms scared me and instead of explaining the difference between watch and warnings and how#the radar colors work they were like dont worry ab it. thinking keeping me in the dark would ease my worry#like no i have the anxiety where i NEED to know i NEED to be in control as best i can#so i learned and now i feel comfort like okay the red is south of us the storm is moving east. we should be okay#but AUGH
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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same energy tbh
#idk lxl just give ‘c’mon bby let’s pretend yumeru’s invisible and give each other thousand yard stares over her head instead’ energy#they may be standing way too far apart to hxld hxnds but.#these are the same dudes who kiss each other before pretty much every performance. they’ve gone further than hxlding hxnds.#the gimme gimme call dudes are still iconic though~ based couple fr#i still like how the brown haired dude called the girl out to go ring shopping… only he was buying a ring for his bf instead#idek if any of that makes sense though. i’m running on 2h of sleep and am very sadded about it :(#im so tired but my body says ‘no sleep’ so im just. suffering. though i wonder what i should get for lunch today…#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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honestly it was only a matter of time before this happened tbh-
spend abt three hours throwing together this shitty lil animatic (can it even be called that yet lmao?), ignore my terrible lipsync itll get better i promise-
yeah ive had this storyboard in my lil sketchbook for months now and im only just starting it lmao
#oop it posted-#i think i just posted this twice lmao#eh ill only tag this one#epic the musical#my art#2d animation#animation#animatic#odysseus#eurylochus#spat this out in 3 hrs (most of iit was that time spent doing the x sheet) which is why the lil bit of lipsync is so bad rn lol#i know this is low quality rn. but it'll get better i promise i wasnt trying very hard-#...should i tag this under the odyssey tag? sure why not#the odyssey#im tired its 3 am#time to not go to sleep bye :D#oh yeah also. some shit is cut off bc of the x sheet at the bottom lol euryl's arm looks even worse w the elbow missing-
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I am not joking about wanting my art to be more violent and weird and sexual in 2024. I have 0 interest in making my content/creations lighter in any capacity and would like everything I make to be infinitely more fucked up on multiple levels. I've been thinking about turning my accounts to 18+ (where possible) for a while but I may finally make that switch.
(Warning blabbering in tags)
Also listen to this
https://open.spotify.com/track/0vDvGxRSHgesW90tRcpME8?si=T2-pA7d1SOq38RLTGOZQbA
#i might have to dig up my private account and convert it to my Scary account#id like to be mental in semi public.#just to feel alive somewhat maybe#i used to be very good at compartmentalizing and such#but an unknown number of years ago it started to decline#im tired and i have a headache and i have work tomorrow all day#i should sleep and my phones about to die#but man kents going through it#im almost never not going through it but you know we used to manage things like that
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