#im very tired i should go to sleep
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After G5Luffy showed up in the Manga I saw someone bitching about how they hated it because Luffy being a "god" is stupid and it takes away from his character and makes the manga/anime cliche and just another run of the mill story as if Luffy vibing himself into godhood isn't the most Luffy thing he could ever do, like are we even consuming the same media, Luffy will always be Luffy. Is he overpowered? Nah, bitch, he's Luffypowered, just let him be silly. I needed a god to pray to anyway, thank you Oda. Our Nika who art in the Grand Land hallowed be thy Strawhat, or whatever, I was raised catholic so I'm funny traumatized.
#im very tired i should go to sleep#but fuck that person#one piece#monkey d luffy#straw hat pirates#straw hat luffy#sun god nika#nika nika no mi#gomu gomu no mi
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quick question: is optimus primal putting optimus prime's spark in his body during beast wars season 3 some kind of mpreg?
#optimus primal out here living the im my own grandpa song's storyline fr fr lmao#shitpost#tf shitpost#transformers#random shit#optimus primal#optimus prime#tf bw#tf#beast wars#i should go to sleep im very tired#maccadam
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barely four hours into the new month and im already silly
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#arasawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#BYE LMAO#i just wanted to draw arakawa tbh but then somehow sawashiro ended up here too#a reward for me for shotgunning all of my comm sketches tonight :)))))#im lying of course. there was SOME intent. but i really didnt expect to make this a 'whole' thing#at the very least i just expected to post the sketch and call it a night but I Am Not Tired And I Fear Time Loss So Might As Well#anyway todays inspo for this is uhhhhhhhhhhh heavage LMAO#my guy being SO respectful not to peak... couldnt be me Who Said That#sorry i draw young arasawa so much. it just tickles me cause i get to Reasonably make jo a doofus#yk. before he fully invests himself in The Horrors and becomes a cunt. still love him tho <3 maybe even more cause of it LMAOO#ok i should sleep. but im not going to cause im gonna go work out HAHA BYYYYYEEE#posting this now so i stop looking at it and feeling like i need to add more to it BITCH ITS JUST A SCRIBBLE MOVE ON AND EXERCISE
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Man this day has taken it fucking out of me
#of me. on me. idk English can suck my dick at this point#discussions about gender with my dad contemplating once again if i should come out as NB or not#(decided not bc his stance on lgbtq+ is very much “labels are ridiculous why do people make a big deal of it just be who you are” which.#i wish the rest of the world was as uncaring about whether you're queer or not. but when the fam watches a mini program about being NB#and hes still all “i dont really get it” and “theyre people first and foremost and idc” i just. don't think i need to spend energy on that)#(bc it's positive in a way but also. a little draining at times.#bc he WANTS to understand but he also wants to go into discussion why it shouldn't matter)#(like that's great dad. not a bad attitude i. principle. but sadly it does matter and people DO raise hell over it)#anyway all that on not enough sleep#and a very long week#i need a fucking break but like an idiot i did not request time off until christmas#i might try and get some days off before then bc im dragging myself through the week half the time by my fingernails#and then the weekend is just not enough time to recover#fuck im tired#anne speaks
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wips from last year, from november to the 24th of december. i gave up on these half-way through and never posted them. first snd third one was my first design for toyman, when i still didnt know there were multiple (!) toymen. simpler times. last one's supposed to be part of a mini comic, the orange person is crane, and it was about the two different ways he has of calling someone 'child' (?). the second image was going to be harley giving him a cup of coffee and him saying 'thank you, child' while smiling at her.
#my art#fanart#might tag this properly.tomorrow#or. today#in the afternoon#im not very tired but i know i should be so ill go to sleep now#good night everybody!#oh and in the second one crsne was supposed to have his hsnd on jervis' back#but my brother mocked me about it saying it would look bad in that perspective#and refused to let me use his hands as reference#so. not cool#the birds are chirping so loud rn#and theres a tree right beside my window#quiet... pls......#hattercrow#toyman#just those#i think its funny if im the only one posting on his tag
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does everything suck or is it just me being over dramatic
#The sk trauma deniers (myself are fighting a hard battle (against myself also)#Me when life altering events alter my life: 😰#Vague venting because everything sucks and my shoulder blades feel weird and I miss him#And I miss the way life used to be and I miss being happy and I miss being safe#And I miss a lot of things and I hate a lot of things and I miss a lot of things that I hate#Struggling and I feel like there’s a lot of things I’m feeling that I don’t acknowledge out of the subconscious#(Example: very upsetting part of my dream in which I saw my ex. Clear as day. It was so awful I wanted to cry)#Everything sucks im going to sleep and maybe feel better in the morning for a little and then collapse into tears again#Killing myself party is back on actually. I miss the person I was I miss my sister I miss my family#Everything is different now and I wish what happened never happened even if I refuse to acknowledge it happened sometimes#I just miss. A lot. I wish I could just shut off all of this#Vent#I’m fine just tired and feel like everything is crashing …..and I’ve been thinking about one thing my dad said#“Not to encourage your little relationship” ?????? I have never felt more like shit#I know I haven’t given a reason for my parents to like the people I’ve dated but the one time I date a guy who is genuinely so kind#And they’ve been hearing about him for over a year and they’ve even met him they still don’t want to trust me#It’s utterly awful that I feel like I’m improving for him rather than for my family#I should want to improve for both. But it’s so demotivating. I do it for him#Ugh….vent over I hate this shit
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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auhh. ahhbhbhbhbhbbbh . ghh
#nierposting#<- trust me#well i suppose theres also a weird sense of loneliness that overcomes me when i am very tired... i should sleep#but mostly im thinking sbout. the vdieogsme. both of them relaly. fuckkk am i gonna get wnother au fuck fuck fuck#me & my hildemet aus against the world this is going to get worse
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motivation where have you gone :(
#i ah#i have no motivation to do any studying despite not studying for the past like two days askldjfalkh#ive been too sleep deprived the last two days to focus so i just figured its better to sleep/rest instead#but now that its a full day im like :I hmmm this doesnt seem like fun#which is silly because i actually really like respiratory lmao#i dont mind doing questions for resp because its not too bad#but my problem is the energy it takes to take notes is whats making it Tiring#if i could id just skim instead and then move on but if i do that i wouldnt remember anything alksjdfha#maybe i should make a list of things i could do with my breaks#ill try to also do the timer thingy too#im just :( can i go play my viddygames instead why is studying so hard and such a long process aslkdjhfal#im at least in a better mood though!! im happy at least with that but also i am very sleepy bzzztbzzt#snow speaks
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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same energy tbh
#idk lxl just give ‘c’mon bby let’s pretend yumeru’s invisible and give each other thousand yard stares over her head instead’ energy#they may be standing way too far apart to hxld hxnds but.#these are the same dudes who kiss each other before pretty much every performance. they’ve gone further than hxlding hxnds.#the gimme gimme call dudes are still iconic though~ based couple fr#i still like how the brown haired dude called the girl out to go ring shopping… only he was buying a ring for his bf instead#idek if any of that makes sense though. i’m running on 2h of sleep and am very sadded about it :(#im so tired but my body says ‘no sleep’ so im just. suffering. though i wonder what i should get for lunch today…#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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honestly it was only a matter of time before this happened tbh-
spend abt three hours throwing together this shitty lil animatic (can it even be called that yet lmao?), ignore my terrible lipsync itll get better i promise-
yeah ive had this storyboard in my lil sketchbook for months now and im only just starting it lmao
#oop it posted-#i think i just posted this twice lmao#eh ill only tag this one#epic the musical#my art#2d animation#animation#animatic#odysseus#eurylochus#spat this out in 3 hrs (most of iit was that time spent doing the x sheet) which is why the lil bit of lipsync is so bad rn lol#i know this is low quality rn. but it'll get better i promise i wasnt trying very hard-#...should i tag this under the odyssey tag? sure why not#the odyssey#im tired its 3 am#time to not go to sleep bye :D#oh yeah also. some shit is cut off bc of the x sheet at the bottom lol euryl's arm looks even worse w the elbow missing-
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sylv art?? in this economy???
#i was struggling to sleep for a very long time so i woke up and doodled these#consider this a hiatus from the hiatus#her tiny scratch on her chest from Shadowlands deeply bothers me. i love when artists give her a gaping hole there#considering the scar is literally a metaphor for....😬😬yeah i feel like it should be handled more seriously#normalize being a girl with a massive hole in your chest that youll never get rid of#but you keep going in hopes that one day youll learn to bear it#and accept yourself and realize youre not defined by who victimized you...#or like. that's what they SHOULD HAVE DONE. IF THE WRITERS DIDNT FUCK IT UP--#sorry im tired and sad about her.#warcraft#my art#sylvanas windrunner
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...
#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me#unrelated
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Can i just like delete myself from having to do basic normal human stuff. I need a break from humaning. I cant do it anymoreeeee
#school sucks#and also its like 12 am rn#and i dont remember if i drank water todayor not#i just wa yknow#also i may have#aUtIsM#but i be undiagnosed#so idk#im very tired#i should probably go to sleep#my phones almost dead#yea imma sleep now
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