#im used to a lot of people on a regular basis

[potatocornflakes]

I'm lonely

[honeytonedhottie]

CONFIDENCE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

i've reached a point where my confidence genuinely cannot be shaken by anything, like all the shadow work and everything is rly paying off and having confidence makes everything in life so much better so i wanna talk about it 🍭

GAINING CONFIDENCE = GAINING SELF LOVE ;

to begin with, confidence is not gained over night and its something thats built and honed with time. so be patient with yourself! confidence always stems from self love.

self love is the most important thing ever. no matter what u have to know that ur gonna love yourself thru THICK and THIN. ur the only one with u 24/7.

make ur mind a palace, treat ur body like a temple, give urself the tender love and care that u DESERVE 🧁💕

GET COMFY IN UR OWN SKIN ; 

i feel like the most confident people are dancers. i feel this way cuz of the way my own confidence SKYROCKETED after i started dancing. i feel like dancing gives u a sense of control over ur own body and its just amazing.

whenever i feel like i need a little boost of confidence or i wanna feel sexy and good in my own skin i DANCE. and i promise that it helps so so much. i dance around in my room all the time and it’s like therapy. 

embarrassment does NOT exist, stop making urself feel awkward or embarrassed for making mistakes sometimes, learn to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

MENTAL DIET ; 

honestly in my experience, manifesting has played a huge role in my self confidence and my self concept. honestly, self concept work goes hand in hand with self confidence work.

keeping a strict mental diet has made my self concept untouchable so definitely get into that. so SAY UR AFFIRMATIONS, dont EVER bully yourself etc.

SAY NO ; 

something about a confident person, they can ADVOCATE for themselves and they know how to say no/im not comfortable with _. practice saying no more and being in control of ur time.

some words that u can add to ur vocabulary to be more confident and advocate for urself properly is "absolutely not" or simply NO. theres so much power in the word NO so make sure to use it more.

THE MUSIC ; 

the music that u listen to on a regular day to day basis rly have an impact on ur mind for either better or for worse depending on what ur listening to. 

steer clear of music that talks about things like self loathing or self hate and instead go for songs that uplift you. a lot of the time when ppl bring up the relationship between the songs u listen to and ur mindset a misconception that ppl have is that like, u can’t listen to emotional or sad songs and that’s NOT TRUE. u can listen to sad songs and still be a confident, bad bitch.

HONEYS HOT TIPS ;

probably TMI but something that rly helps confidence is when u match ur bras to ur panties (IDEK WHAT IT IS) like the confidence boost is insane. when u look good -> you feel good.

again, embarrassment does NOT exist

no one is above you and no one is beneath you

surround urself with other confident individuals so that they can uplift u and u all can LEARN from each other, cuz the people u surround urself with matters.

[time-woods]

Hello there!

I love your use of patterned and textured brushes like these ones! The little dots and blending of colors is so pretty!

Do you have any tips for how to incorporate these brushes into drawings? Or how to get it to look good? (Tried so hard) (still didn't look like That™) (no idea what I'm doing)

thank you !

and for tips lets see- whenever i use brushes like that (ill use the rake like one as an example)) i tend to do those curved shapes especially when a color is bordering another but i usually dont just leave it at the brush ! i go back over it and define standout gaps and lines- sometimes i cover up the majority of the og brush stroke with other small swoops- it involves a lot of layering. i use the textured brush as a starting point and then i push it further with other brushes ! also with the dots- it wasnt a pattern brush i just adore adding small stuff by hand ^^

moral of the story- layers ! lots of layering, like how youd do in a physical painting, and also dont be to precious with the placement ! sometimes having that randomness and chaos is really freeing ! (thats why i love working with randomized hue jitter brushes and liners with random dithering ! ! it adds that excitement and unpredictability to my art process !))

i hope this helps ! and also im gonna be making a list of the brushes i like/ use on a regular basis cause i know a couple people have been asking !))

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

Outsiders shit. Some modern some not idfk

These are all like. The most crack-filled hcs ever, please excuse my brain 🙏🏽🙏🏽 if these don’t make sense to you, tell me

- dally is so headstrong that the moment someone bets he can’t do something, he does it

- the gang takes advantage of this

- (this is a method I use on my younger siblings 😭😭)

- dally can walk in heels

- also two bit. Like scarily well. His sister is amazed.

- pony calls people whore

- Johnny calls people thot

- they say these to each other on a regular basis.

- also hoe

- uhhh where was I

- something something gay something something 70s 80s smth pony and Johnny because Johnny never died frfr no cap

- Johnny: “I can’t believe yall vape smh”

- also Johnny: *pulls out a cigarette for each hand*

- pony does the same thing

- twobit and Marcia are either gay-lesbian solidarity or they’re dating, no in between

- if they’re gay, they’re a beard couple just like “we pretend to date, they can’t catch on” “I like the way you think, woman”

- ily twobit matthews. That’s all.

- twobit and Marcia are actually both Hispanic, its canon trust I was there

- dally types “women ☕️” in instagram comment sections

- also “it’s bc I’m a man isn’t it”

- (ty V on discord for that second one 🙏🏽🙏🏽)

- cherry and dally argue on twitter

- a lot

- dally spams cherry and then she absolutely COOKS this pathetic rat man

- dally blocks cherry, doesn’t talk to her for a while, then eventually forgets and unblocks her to harass the poor girl again

- cherry doesn’t realize blocking is a thing, but she complains to marcia and marcia shows her how to block Dallas

- dally, two bit, and Steve are all hopelessly addicted to twitter

- like it’s really fucking bad

- someone get these mfs off the internet

- dally therapy

- now

- right fucking now

- cherry valance and ponyboy bisexual man/bisexual woman solidarity

- they are besties

- nothing more nothing less

- change my mind

- (you cant)

- marcia “good luck babe” by Chappell roan

- pony autism

- Johnny audhd

- Darry autism

- soda audhd or just adhd

- I saw someone say dally ocd once and I like it so

- dally ocd

- twobit adhd

- Steve adhd

- everyone trauma :D

- when johnny actually lived after the fire bc thats what actually happened actually fr, he left his parents because he realized they didn’t love him (pulling from the “I don’t wanna see her” scene for this)

- he stays with the curtis boys most of if not all the time

- if soda and Darry are gone, pony will grab Johnny and they’ll sleep together

- not in a weird way you freaks

- pony just genuinely cannot sleep

- I may or may not be influenced by fics I’ve read…

- soda saw them one night when he got home late and was like “…queers?”

- he stays out a bit later than usual now, often found sleeping in another room

- Darry actually supports more than pony thought, when he comes out, Darry is like a pride parade mom frfr

- kinda lowkey overbearing with it

- ily Darrel curtis

- soda is the typa guy to genuinely not understand lgbtq+ but supports anyways

- sodas the typa guy to be asked what his pronouns are and say “just he/him. Wish I had smth more interesting, but I’m just a guy :D”

- on the other end of that, soda and Steve are gay

- everyone is gay

- all of them

- so very fucking gay

Im done yapping for now, im so sorry for anyone that sees this

[bonny-kookoo]

hiii i love the tongue tied work of yours so much >< are you planning on continuing it? thank u so much! ive been reading your works for the past few days now bc IM HOOKED!! how are u so talented??

honestly I'm always waiting for chances to write for it haha

Jungkook isn't the only one being very touchy with you- but he's become pretty much your main focal point of the pack, so to speak

Now that the pack has actually been formed again, loose ends finally connecting again to tie them back together, Jungkook is basically right above you in pack order, making you somewhat his responsibility. There's also the slight fact that you're actively intimate with him on a regular basis, making you both the closest at the moment. With everyone else, your bond varies still- some more hesitant to get closer to you than others.

Jimin, for example, is not shy at all about his interest in you on a more closer level, constantly making it a game almost as to how he can make you shy this time. And also, Namjoon of all people has been showing some very obvious interest in you as well, which caught some members of the pack off guard to say the least. Everyone thought he'd be the last to approach you-

but, things have changed.

You're becoming more and more independent, able to talk more freely and coherently, and with your physical therapy working as well, you're actually approaching something like normalcy.

"You're so tired today." Jimin laughs as you yawn for the hundredth time it feels like, sighing before you lean into him, boldly using his body as your makeshift bed while they all technically got together to hang out. "Jungkook really tires you out, huh?" He jokes, making Jungkook laugh impishly, before he sits down next to his friend and you.

"Actually, she just went out with me today. Grocery shopping." He informs the pack, and now it all makes sense. Social interactions and walking a lot still drains your energy quite a lot. You're not as active as you used to be before your.. whole 'accident' when you were younger, so you still work on getting your energy levels back up these days.

But no one minds it. The pack will look after you, after all.

[putschki1969]

Hi there,

you mentioned earlier that Keiko have luxurious live and her family are well off. im curious whe is this information come from? did she ever mentioned this in an interview ? or are any of her family member also someone famous ? eg; business man / celebrities / etc ?

Hello there!

Keiko never explicitly talks about any specifics regarding her family or their financial status and there's a good reason for it. In the very early stages of Keiko's career (around two decades ago), some fans have discovered that members of her family are quite active in regional politics (an activity that can typically only be taken up if you have some substantial funds available). Naturally, it is in everyone's best interest to keep Keiko's work in the entertainment industry strictly separated from any political activities which is why you'll never get any official statements from Keiko in that regard. That's also why the fandom as a whole is pretty hush-hush about it and why I will not be going into further details here. ❗It is important to be respectful and to keep those things private.❗ But you can imagine that this sort of background affords Keiko certain privileges.

From circumstantial evidence alone, everyone with eyes can guess that Keiko has always led the lifestyle of someone who is financially well-off.

She is constantly decked out in extremely expensive designer clothes/bags/accessories. If you follow my Twitter account where I post my Kalafina fashion finds, you'll know that most of her stuff costs several thousand dollars.

Whenever she has a new hobby, she goes all-in and tends to buy some of the most expensive products on the market (see for example her road-bike era or more recently, her acoustic guitar era).

I'm not going to delve into all of her regular beauty treatments because that's something most self-respecting Japanese women would choose to invest in regardless of their financial status but suffice it to say, an average office worker with a decent salary would not be going to all those fancy places that Keiko frequents (there are much cheaper options out there!).

Then we have Keiko's living arrangements. Presumably, she lives alone in her own place somewhere in the city center which would already make it very expensive. She is able to sing and play the guitar in the middle of the night which is rarely possible unless the apartment is super modern and high-end.

Generally, she doesn't seem to struggle a lot when it comes to connections within the industry. From what we can tell, she has had no issues signing up with a reputable label and agency (something Hikaru struggled with a lot and Wakana might have too if she hadn't decided to stay with Space Craft). Usually, that's a sign that sizable amounts of money are involved but who knows...

The fact that she felt confident enough to apply for the registered trademark of "Kalafina" back in the day could also be an indicator for Keiko being well-off. The legal representation alone must have been quite expensive.

Additionally, Keiko has made some vague references here and there which would suggest a wealthy background (please note that these are just some examples).

She has mentioned small things like playing tennis and golf with her parents on a regular basis. In case you didn't know, those are rich people sports, especially if you use your own equipment (which Keiko does).

The way she spent her hiatus after the breakup is also quite telling. Inspired by one of her relatives, she randomly decided to go to Kimono school to get a diploma. Sufficient funds are required for a school like that and I would assume that most people who attend will probably come from a more "sophisticated" background.

When talking about her super early days in the music industry, Keiko has made no secret about the fact that it has never really been about passion or necessity. She didn't start out as a singer because she felt she had to, it was more of a spontaneous whim. Again, a luxury usually only afforded to privileged people. Back then, singing was something she moderately enjoyed and could casually pursue, something that separated her from her older sister and something that more or less served as the spoiled/rich-kid version of a rebellion against overbearing parents. We get a bit of "rebel"-Keiko in this interview here. I would say that this is the behaviour of someone who doesn't have many worries in life, at least not when it comes to financial matters.

[actualbird]

WAIT I WAS SPAMMING MARIUS TO INTERACT WITH HIM IN VISIT FOR FUN AND HE SAID “my brother used to buy me clothes. he had a better sense of fashion than me” (or something v similar to this, I got the intimacy level up screen half way through) and I’m like AGH the angst, he even took marius on shopping trips 😭 😭 😭 maybe marius buys clothes based on what giann would pick 😭

WAHHHH yes thats one of my favorite lines from his regular interactions!!! i love how it gives a glimpse of marius and giann's relationship, even if it's a very mundane detail. theres two things i wanna say about this though

1 ) while the line seems to be nostalgic in a way, i also like the implication/thematic tie in that marius growing out of his brother's shadow (even if the circumstances that Led to this happening are less than ideal)

like, theres several stories that show that other people saw marius as lesser or as somebody simply in his brother's shadow and not a person himself. but among marius' key story themes methinks is individuality and carving out his own identity for himself and expressing that identity while bound to a world that is so strict about how he "must" present himself

(sidenote: this is an incredibly queercoded theme to me and i mean that genuinely! the radical decision to be himself against all the "norms" of what the society surrounding him wants him to be!)

(sidenote 2: marius actually shares this theme with vyn a LOT. royal expectations and high class expectations. except that vyn made the radical decision to leave, which is in itself still a valid and worthwhile expression of his individuality. also vyn chose a new name for himself that is so lgbt of him)

so yeah, while giann was the one taking care of marius' clothes (and thus, in a way, marius' image) (though this doesnt strike me as a bad thing, more just in an overbearing protective caring older brother sense) (i hc giann has a lot of guilt in failing marius during their childhoods so he overcompensated in a lot of ways and maybe one of the ways was HEY MARIUS LET'S GO SHOPPING)—SORRY IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. anyway while giann was the one buying clothes in the beginning, that obviously is no longer the case now. so much like the other spheres of marius' life, he needs to employ his individuality in this smaller mundane way as well.

so while i think marius does, every once in a while, buy some clothes because it was what giann would pick, i think he does this out of nostalgia and out of how much he misses giann. not because the image giann had helped him make is one he necessarily fully and only ascribes to. i think marius by and large chooses his own clothes based on his own tastes and identity that he has now made for himself

and i think hes done a pretty good job! marius' outfits are AWESOME. quick shoutouts to my favorite outfits of his:

(sidenote 3: i know that last one, the pink denim jacket one, had POLARIZED audiences but sue me i personally love it jHVKJHSDF i think it is so fun and so campy and pink suits him well)

ANYHOO the second thing i wanna bring up is

2 ) IM SO CURIOUS AS TO WHAT GIANN'S FASHION SENSE IS

i know many many of us have seen giann's sprite already from the cn server bday 3 card of marius, but that sprite showed him in a very formal outfit. i wanna know what his casual day to day fashion sense is like. is it soft cardigans core? something more streetwear? dark academia? JVSKFJHDVFS

i personally think his fashion sense would be in a perpetual state of smart casual. i have no basis for this, this is just me going off of vibes.

thanks for the ask!!

[sillyxaly]

Since im skipping class have a TGCF AU idea ramble.

Premise is smt like: strong spiritual weapons can develope and switch into a human form (see. Rain Masters Mount. The Boy had it going)

Aka. Im turning our babies into people but only part time.

Cut because much spoiler for all Plot

Let us begin

Ruoye:

Ruoye turns human about a medium percentage of the time and is suprisingly rather talkactive with Xie Lian. They cant be curled up and cozy in Xie Lians sleeve when they do, which is about the biggest downside. I imagen when they were a younger spirit they were much more curios, exploring and testing their limits in silk form, learning a lot about their own limits and how not to get tangled up into knots. It was semi-acidential when they first turned human and jumping up all proud they promptly fell back down face first. Gravitiy baby. They figured all that out relativly quickly tho.

Ruoye has unbeliavbly long white hair and it gets tangled everywhere and on everything much to Xie Lians dismay. He tried putting it in a big braid but that just ended up getting Ruoye stuck on some branches and didnt help the knots in their hair so he resigned himself to the task of combing it on a regular basis. Ruoye mostly turns to wander of and explore a bit (and happily tell Xie Lian of their findings) because even now that they have grown they still remain curious in nature or to help out with the chores sometimes. Although they do hate getting dirty in general. When younger I also imagen Ruoye often asked about how they came to be, after all a spiritual silk band like themselves must have some origin. Xie Lian has managed to avoid the topic each and every time, leaving Ruoye clueless about its own involvement in past events. A very good decision because I dont think thats something anyone would want to know.

Some more general appearance (which I hopefully will actually draw one day) Ruoye is pale and wears white which isnt really that original but theres only so much my mind can do with white slik. Aside from the long hair which is usually open unless Xie Lian ties into into something for them their sleeves are also long. They grew into it to the extent they dont trip over their own clothes anymore but its still enough to blow in the wind and turn them into a giant silk again visually speaking. After the final showdown and being stitched back together they also have a rather big scar on their stomach which bothers themselves a little to look at, but they dont have to very often so they sometimes forget its there.

Eming:

Ruoye was not happy when showing off by turning human resultet in Eming doing the same. Starting with general appearance here. One red eye as per usual. Id imagen Eming never bothered much covering the other or the lack of one and neither did Hua Cheng. Eming is Pale and almost silvery to the extent Xie Lian thought he might be sick upon first seeing him (Eming didnt mind it got him attention). While technically also a good 800 years old by now Eming remains the form of a teenager which actually makes him smaller than Ruoye, much to their pleasure and his dismay.

Anyhow, Eming Propably does know how it was formed. Hua Cheng just told him very early on to have it out of the way and not be troubled with it later. Eming didnt really use to be in human form much if at all until Xie Lian came around and he started doing it more and more to help him with as many things as he possibly could (butting heads with Ruoye about the praised it earned him many times). There was just not much of a reason prior and he had to always be on call on vigilant for Hua Cheng so thats that. Sometimes now he just turns human because Xie Lian thinks hes rather cute and he loves getting that pointed out. Makes him all giddy. Eming likely talks less than Ruoye in general which is subconcious because Hua Cheng only allows so much and he is already not so happy about Eming taking on human form just to steal away geges attention. Eming did open up to Ruoye a little post-canon. Since Xie Lian spends a lot of time just being lovey dovey with Hua Cheng the two weapons also have a lot more downtime so Ruoye dragged Eming along to explore Ghost City one of those days. And well, even for Eming you can only listen to so much chatter and happy comments about the structure of the buildings or whatever else caught Ruoyes eye before you slowly start to join the conversation. Turns out Eming can actually talk quiet a lot! They probably bond over that and now Ruoye drags him along all the time. This does in no way mean they dont still fight for Xie Lians attention. It does however mean they get to complain to one another about how they both lost that fight to Hua Cheng.

Fangxin

Xie Lian actually didnt know Fangxin had a human form for the longest time and was rather startled when he first turned out of nowhere. It was likely at someones doorstep when Xie Lian was doing the usual scrap business that a tall and posed man just suddenly stood there pointing at a book asking something along the lines of "can we get this one?"

Fangxin did tragically not convince the owner to give them the book for free which was likely only because he was told to keep at least a semi-low profile and hes not one to disappoint Jun Wu.

Fengxin I feel has intricatly braided hair with a few little pieces of silver jewlery in it. Generally clothes in black and the tallest of our three with some little silver and white adornment. Xie Lian assumed it took the sword a lot of energy to turn because after not getting what he asked for he turned right back and didnt turn again for a long time. In truth Fengxin just doesnt care a whole lot. He turns mostly to pass the time with a scroll when he can and talks only as much as necessary during his time with Xie Lian. This is partially because the less he turns and talks the less likely he is to spill any secrets and while he isnt that talkactive to begin with he also isnt much in need of new friends to risk it. A very loyal soul. It also gives Fangxin some more old man vibes which just reiterates Xie Lians believe that, while a good weapon, Fangxin seems to be pretty old. Therefore he doesnt question it much and politly accepts the fact that Fangxin does not wish to converse with him when he turns and they just kind of co-exsist in the same space until Fangxin decides to turn back. Hes barely noticable really.

Ruoye doesnt like him a whole lot. Odd feeling about the guy. It might just be because they are very unalike in nature (if you ask Xie Lian at least) and Fangxin never quiet humored and of Ruoyes exploring or little rambles quietly refusing to engage.

Xie Lian has, much to his shock, has to find out that Fangxin isnt actually old or too weak to hold a human form for long after Jun Wu takes the sword back. Back where he truly belongs Fangxin has more the aura of a confident youth. In fact Fangxin actually quiet enjoys a good fight and is rather thrilled to finally be allowed to work at full power again. He isnt much less of a menace than his master. If I were to indulge greatly id imagen Fangxin actually rapidly switching between human and sword form in the fight for some cool moves but yall can decide that as you will. One way or the other with Jun Wu Fanxin is somewhat a reflection of who that man used to be. Confident, proud, strong and always excited to spar. Because i think thats neat and Fangxin is at heart still Jun Wus weapon. He is meant as such and I intend to fight anyone on that. This is also the reason Fangxin kept his secrets and played a low profile. Very loyal soul.

Suprise! More because nobody can stop me now!

The wind and water master fan:

I dont quiet remember if they were made as a pair in canon but they will be here, making them essentially twins! Very close twins to be precise. Whenever they get together you can be sure a little chaos ensues and they have much to talk about. I dont really have much of a mental image on them except that id think its cool if their outfits are complimentary? Like they do very clearly match but they dont wear the same thing. They did that fully on purpose by the way.

For the wind master fan I imagen its a lively fellow. While dutiful enough to know when to not turn and remain a weapon for safetys sake and that it should always stay close to Shi Qingxuan in case it it needed, it does turn pretty often. To an extent where most heavenly officials actually know the Fan about as well as the Master. They probably have regular chats too. I just kind of imagen whenever Shi Qingxuan is strolling through the heavens without anything to do the wind master fan is strolling right next to her matching her step. And you better be sure they find something to talk about until a task arises and they need to actually work.

The water master fan is a bit less lively but that is mostly due to Shi Wudu just not being as conversing (although maybe they do gossip together sometimes. Feels like Shi Wudu might gossip to his weapon because his weapon wont snitch) and its not like Shi Wudu has that many friends it could talk to instead. So when it turns its mostly to serve as a lowkey junior official or when it meets its twin and they can chat!

Funnily enough both of them actually picked up the habit of changing between female and male form (much to Shi Wudus building headache and Shi Qingxuans delight). Shi Wudu 100% thinks his brother set them up to do that, but thats only half true. While the Wind Master fan definetly picked up the habit from its master and passed it on to its twin, shi Qingxuan never actually went out of her way to tell them to do it. Nontheless the added strength to her ultimate goal of getting everyone in heaven to try it at least once has gained forces! She is very pleased.

After a certain Arc the wind master fan is having some emotional troubles with grief and death and also some scars. While theirs are more faint than Ruoyes because my brain registers this as a more "brought back from the dead" type of Situation than Ruoye for some reason they have more of them.

The earth master shovel:

The wind master fan has tried to convince them to show their human form many many times and failed many many times. No matter how much he would huff, puff or beg they never complied. Shi Qinxuan put that on the list of: "Why Ming-xiong should train using his spiritual weapons more often" because surely the poor thing just doesnt know how. They both find it unlikely it lacks the power to do so, this shovel can burry through anything! Surely it should have enough spiritual power to form a human appearance.

The truth is that, while technically able, He Xuan actually put some type of seal on it to prevent this. While he did get rid of the earth master he couldn't exactly dump his weapon altogether, but he had to make sure that his cover isnt blown instantly so he just had to prevent the thing from speaking. Easy as that.

Later, when with Yin Yu, the Earth Master Shovel had the seal lifted, but turning into a human form was still difficult. Even if it could it didnt use these legs in a long time and likely had to relearn a lot of things like walking and maybe even speaking because of the whole incident. Yin Yu likely helped with that when he could. They bonded a bit over that.

[theminecraftbee]

ok so idk if you’ve answered this before but anyways,, i really love the way you write horror!

i read stuffed bird for the first time over a year ago now but i still think about the world you created on a regular basis. i rarely read au fics and it’s even more rare for me to remember them for an extended period but seriously, no joke, this is about a stuffed bird might genuinely be one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

anyways, shameless fanboying aside, i actually wanted to ask if you had any good tips with writing horror? im a huge fan of the genre and have always wanted to create something myself but i have no clue where to even start. i feel like every idea i have is either weirdly cheesy or just unauthentic. so yeah, do you maybe have some pointers on how to get over that first threshold of not being “good enough”? or maybe just sharing what goes into your creative process when you write your stuff?

anyways i’m sorry for rambling, you’re really cool and i hope you have a good day. happy halloween!

oh goodness, thank you! i'm so glad you liked stuffed bird, and read it despite not normally liking aus! that's a big compliment!

as for the "how to write horror" tips. okay so first: it's gonna feel a little cheesy. the thing is that when you're writing it, it's gonna be less scary to you. you're going to go "well this is just silly/inauthentic/absurd" and you're going to feel like "well surely this can't scare people" and you've gotta push past that. you've gotta push past that to "well what about someone who DOESN'T know i'm trying really hard, what will they think of it?" and that can help you out a lot.

my second tip is... you've gotta know when to show the monster and not show the monster. like okay you're going to hear that things you don't show the audience can be scarier than those you do. and that's TRUE, but sometimes also you do really want to show the audience the thing. it's all about "what will cause the correct kind of impact in this moment". so, uh, example, most of the stuffed bird monsters i only describe a few aspects of, not the whole monster, and that's because the audience can fill in a scarier description than what i can come up with. however, i still describe what i personally think are the scariest/most impactful parts of the monster! because in order for it to do the thing i wanted i still NEEDED some of the gorey/horror description, i just couldn't try to perfectly describe every inch. this goes especially for horror that relies on physical description/gore actually; if you know when to show the gore, you can make it have impact. if there are certain things you describe in detail and certain things you don't, it will tell you stuff about your characters, AND it will make both of those things have more impact for the audience! so i guess that's one of my big horror tips.

my other big horror tip is that a lot of horror is emotional. doing things that reflect your character's mental state can really help sell whatever you're trying to make scary! this can both work in the "if your character is scared" sense and in the "if your character is NOT scared" sense--for example, if you are describing something scary is happening, but your character has a very happy/lighthearted emotional tone, that's one kind of scary, but if you're describing something scary and your characters are terrified, that's another! and it's useful to know when to use which.

okay and the last tip: don't worry about being "not good enough" just write what you write and post it! you will never get better without practice. the main way my horror ends up working is that i keep writing it, i think; if i never wrote horror, i'd never get used to writing horror, and it would never get scary. plus, you will be your own worst critic. get yourself some friends to help cheer you on, and then just go for it!

this is a lot of paragraphs ;-; but i HOPE IT HELPS!

[scarletsaphire]

Wes has caught Danny Fenton using ghost powers in public more times than he can count, and yet no one ever notices. At long last, he confronts Danny to figure out why.

--

For Ectoberhaunt day 11: calm (im not late you're early also im sick so i have an excuse.)

Wes had heard a lot throughout his life that he was not good with emotions, to put it nicely. He agreed most of the time. Wes considered himself a logical person. Sure, photography and videography was a creative pursuit, and most people didn't consider cryptids logical, but that was just because people didn't like to see the hard truths. Now was a perfect example.

Wes had figured out that Danny Fenton was that new ghost child that had been flying around within a few weeks of the first spotting. It had been ridiculously easy. Wes had known Danny through a school project he'd done with Jasmine, and the two of them looked so similar there was no way they weren't connected somehow. Even if they had looked different, you'd have to be blind, deaf, and an idiot to not notice all of the ghost stuff Danny did on a regular basis. In just the past week, Wes had watched Danny grab pencils out of his own chest, float over the puddle the busted water fountain left, turn invisible in the middle of the hallway, fall through the floor after tripping on his shoelaces, and bend his arm with far more joints than any human arm should have. And yet, despite all of this being in plain view, not hidden at all, not a soul had noticed it.

It was fine. Wes was used to people ignoring clear evidence. Normally the evidence was a picture or a video, not clear evidence in front of someone, but he was still used to it. They were probably just seeing what they expected to see. Most people weren't able to recognize the signs of the supernatural until it busted down the side of a building. That had been what Amity Park needed to start believing in ghosts after all. In this type of situation, all Wes would need to do was bring attention to it. If he said that it was weird, it would give them the subconscious permission to recognize it as weird as well.

Except, when Wes had pointed out the discrepancy to one of his friends, they'd just shrugged. "It ain't none of my business dude," he'd said.

"What do you mean none of your business?" Wes sputtered. "You just watched him stick his hand into his locker without opening the door! How is that not your business?"

He shrugged. "Why should I care what the kid gets up to? Besides, he has chill vibes."

"Chill vibes?" Wes asked. "You don't even know him! How can you say he has chill vibes?"

"Just look at him."

Wes was, in fact. looking at him. Danny was talking animatedly about something. In this case, animatedly meant performing what could be a scene from some karate movie and miraculously not hitting anyone around him, despite the fact he definitely should. "What about that that says chill vibes to you?"

Wes's friend shrugged. "I don't know dude. People either got chill vibes or they don't, and he definitely has them. Maybe you broke your vibe meter with how rancid yours are. Anyway, I gotta get to class. See ya around!" He took off at a leisurely stroll down the hallway, leaving Wes to keep glaring at Danny.

Wes knew he was right. It was clear as day! But it didn’t matter what evidence he found, or who he presented it to, every last person always had the same reaction. “Why should I care when he’s such a calm guy?” They said it differently, of course, but that was the heart of all of their statements.

It only took three tries for the statement to end up on Wes’s cork board. He could recognize the influence of the supernatural when he saw it. Unfortunately, it looked like there was only one thing left to do.

"I need to talk to you, ghost boy," Wes said, slamming shut Danny's locker door in front of him.

He watched as Danny glanced nervously over at Tucker, who shrugged in response. The Manson girl wasn't here; Wes had chosen a time specifically to avoid her. She was far too good at talking her way out of  things, and kicking her way out of things she couldn't talk her way out of. Also, she was scary, but Wes wouldn't admit that. "Because my parents are ghost hunters, very creative," Danny said with a fake laugh.

"No, because you're Phantom, and I have questions."

Danny froze completely, as if someone had hit the pause button. He didn't blink, didn't breathe, staying perfectly still as he stared up at Wes. It would have been freaky, if Wes hadn't been prepared. But he was prepared, so he didn't back down. "Fine. But can we make it quick? I have a test next period, and I'm really hoping to at least finish it." 

Danny grabbed a hold of Wes's wrist, and dragged him through the wall. That was significantly weirder, and if Wes didn't have to worry about getting stuck in the wall, he'd probably fight against the grip. Since getting stuck halfway through the wall was a concern, Wes let it happen. Danny let go once they'd surfaced in an empty classroom, the window in the door blocked off with cardboard. Wes stumbled slightly, the shock of physically not existing and then existing again rushing over him.

"You could at least give a guy a warning," Tucker grumbled, straightening his hat.

"Don't you remember the standing warning I gave you?" Danny asked. "You should expect to be dragged through walls and/or the air at any time for as long as you're friends with me."

"I still don't think that's a proper warning, but whatever."

Danny rolled his eyes and turned back to Wes who had managed to stabilize himself. "So, what do you want?"

"I want to know why no one notices that you're a ghost when you're doing stuff like that every day," Wes started. "I have caught you on camera dozens of times, and pointed out you sticking your head through your locker in person to so many people, and they all ignore it. How are you doing it?"

"Oh, is that all?" Danny asked, his shoulders lowering slightly as he untensed. "I have a calming aura to most people. Makes it so they just don't see my weirdness as important. What did we call it again?"

"Capybara effect," Tucker said. "After those big cuddly guys."

"Yea, those things."

"If you have this so called Capybara effect, how come I've never noticed it?"

Danny shrugged. "No idea. Maybe you're resistant to ghostly mind manipulation, or maybe you're just so uptight that even it can't help. Jazz did say you could do with relaxing some, and if Jazz says that, you know it's bad."

Before Wes could respond, Tucker's PDA went off. "We have to be in class in t-minus thirty seconds, so if that's everything..."

Danny grabbed Tucker's hand. "Hopefully we won't be seeing you around again, but I feel like that's just wishful thinking." Danny said, giving a lazy salute and blinking the two of them into invisibility.

Wes took a deep breath through his nose. At least he got his answer.

[youredyingthatsallthereis]

Soap for the character ask game?

EEEEE thank you!!!!! so for this i'm going to focus specifically on captain 🧼 mactavish from MW2/MW3:

✨how I feel about this character✨

i'm sure its no surprise but i am a big fan of captain mactavish 🧼 i definitely ????? at the abrupt jump from him being a sergeant in MW to him being a captain in MW2 because in terms of actual military structure thats...insane in a 5 year time span (which is the canonical amount of time between the MW and MW2 campaigns) BUT! 1. that was infinity ward's doing, not soap himself and 2. its a video game franchise and hes sexy and cool so i know it really doesnt matter <3 i do also appreciate his more stern attitude and obvious focus on getting things done and being efficient about it (i have played cliffhanger soooooo many times just because i love his dialogue so much because it is an excellent example of this, that and the gulag just HRGHHH)

✨all the people I ship romantically with this character✨

just ghost and roach :3 i love soapghostroach (my forever OT3), soaproach, and soapghost (and roachghost but this post is about soap lol)

✨my non-romantic OTP for this character✨

nikolai! in addition to all the events of the games, the additional trauma bond they would have from the very ending of MW2 when he saves them after shepherds betrayal when soap is so near death and nik swoops in to save his life? i think the two of them would be very close friends c: i like to imagine that they send each other holiday & birthday gifts/cards and stuff like that even if they dont always spend lots of time together on a regular basis, but they're still very important to each other. that kinda friendship <3

✨my unpopular opinion about this character✨

honestly i dont know if i really have any unpopular opinions about him. i do very firmly headcanon him as being mixed (specifically to me hes scottish & puerto rican) and transgender, but thats more just headcanons

✨one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon✨

this probably sounds silly and i know i just said it doesnt matter but the only thing i ever get hung up on about with him is his rank thing. i wish that in in CoD 4: MW they had either started him off as a lieutenant (the actual rank under captain) or had him just be a staff sergeant (the actual rank after sergeant) in the later games. going from being a sergeant to a captain would mean that he did the 2 years of officers school which includes earning a whole ass degree (which is a requirement for becoming a commissioned officer in the british military as well as the us military), graduated as a lieutenant, and then been promoted to captain.......all within five years??? it just doesn't make a lot of sense 😅 the idea of him being a mustang is pretty appealing and honestly now that im talking about it the fanfic potential there.................hmmmmm *opening ideas document* anyway i pick this because [SPOILERS FOR THE OG MW2 AND MW3 CAMPAIGNS!]

i dont mind his death in MW3 because IMO he would be crushed by survivors guilt after ghost & roach's deaths at the end of MW2, so i see him dying as hopefully an opportunity to be with them in an afterlife or even a reincarnation scenario if one is inclined! and for me him roach and ghost all dying solidifies them as my OT3 because i really dont think they all could have lived without each other anyway. thats honestly my biggest beef with the reboot trilogy; not only did they deny soap captaincy, they fucking took roach away and then they left ghost a fucking war widow at the end of MWIII and for fucking what????????? FOR WHAT, SLEDGEHAMMER??????

[tree-obsession]

HSR and Scars+other physical trauma marks HCs

I haven't seen anyone do this yet, but lmk plz if someone has!

Minor spoilers for main plot

Arlan- scars in a lot of places, implied that he could fight as a child and was poor, canonically has a prosthetic arm (at least I think, but works as hc too) and scars on his arm and nose at least. likely has more, esp on arms since using a greatsword doesnt give great defensibility and his moveset involves cutting HP(judging by the animation, using electricity, so electricity scars too? are those called lichtenberg scars?). he's short, and again the childhood implications mean he was probably malnourished.

Asta- probably minor things from working with untested equipment, and has likely burned her hands with her own powers- but, since she's a noble, she's likely expected to be neat, so idk. I like the burn idea tho.

Bailu- she's a healer, so I think what she does get she can get rid of too. But maybe her dragon tail has unhealed bits from failed assassination attempts, or smth?

Blade- canonically has scars basically everywhere. literally got tortured for a really long time, had home planet destroyed as a child and likely didn't get out unscathed (we NEED to talk abt that more), was a forge worker (burns) and did fight on occasion as Yingxing, and then was on the run for about 1000 years or something, and canonically died even more during that time. also has a skillset that involves cutting his own hp. likely doesn't have to eat, but he's unhealthily skinny because of it anyway. chronic pain. somebody give this guy a hug please.

Bronya- she's a soldier, so callouses, blade scars, bullet scars, emergency first-aid scars, and probably desensitized to cold more than the average human bc belobog. really high disregard for pain that concerns seele on a regular basis.

Clara- her. her feet. are they ok. but also some scars from working with mechs and being in the cold, but svarog made sure nothing too major happened while she was in his care. before, though... likely got beat up for being a "pushover" (im crying plz).

dan heng-... chain scars. we NEED to talk about the fact he spent most of his life chained up in prison with guards and people who hated him (minus jing yuan). probably none of the guards would have stopped some of the more violent ones from getting physical- how else would he tear his clothes that much? probably wasn't fed enough or allowed to exercise much. and the chains- listen, i know we joke about the light cone a lot(honestly why was that specifically made into the light cone) but that was really how he lived for a long time. the desc even said he "writhed" and "gasped for breath". he definitely has huge scars from rubbing skin raw around his wrists, ankles, stomach, and maybe his neck? his arms are definitely majorly scarred over and stuff from this, and probably his ankles+legs too. also his eyesight is probably shit from the dark, unless Vidyadhara magic somehow helped that.

bonus: there is a fic on ao3 called "you're looking into their eyes (and find you're looking into your own)" by robyndoesntlikeyou that deals with dan heng having scars that i only found after drafting this post. plz rec any more fics you have on this...

Fu Xuan- i really don't know for her. probably small ones that wouldn't have scarred, but she saw them as unimportant and didn't treat them...

Gepard- similar to Bronya, but maybe not as many since he's a shielder, but more of the lack of cold sensitivity? he's on the front lines lots

Guinaifen- burn scars on forearm and hands. probably can't feel much on her hands too. idk her lore but she's a street performer, so probably not always enough money for food.

Herta- we basically know nothing about her! seriously, she's so mysterious, and her character stories are vague about her past. i can't think of anything, but maybe there were some more dangerous experiments?

Himeko- considering she rebuilt the Astral Express, there were probably dangerous components involved there somewhere... and her backstory still seems pretty mysterious

Hook- diggertron probs caused burns, and life in the underground is dangerous- plus, moles could apparently go to the fight club? which seems like an issue

Jing Yuan- he's a general- lots of war scars. and probs lighting burns because he summons that entire lightning lord/chronic pain.

Jingliu- she definitely has a lot- i'm pretty sure she's the oldest of the hcq, and also got mara-struck/ fought in wars and was on the run and exiled for a long while. canonically constantly in pain due to mara. also really, really needs a hug, except the only person she would probs let hug her is baiheng, who is dead! and also she isolated herself and tortured yingxing/blade. hcq enjoyers are in literally so much pain.

Kafka- would have a lot of callouses, but idk about where scars would be. she would probs cover them up to avoid drawing attention (as she is an assassin), but idrk where exactly. she seems really sneaky, and considering she has no fear there's no reason for her to hesitate in battle. maybe scars on arms from electricity or stray bullets?

Luka- canon that he has scars from wrestling and stuff.

luocha- again, he would probably just heal whatever scars he did get. i really don't know for him, sry ):.

lynx- most calloused hands ever and even more of a weird cold tolerance than others because she's an explorer. probably just doesn't have feeling in some places. and there are probs scars somewhere from when she ran into fragmentum beasts but she's also a healer so...

march 7th- from careless accidents, sure- dropping glasses and stuff, maybe from a few close fights. but her body was wiped like her memories, plus she's a shielder and archer, which is code for not in the thick of the fight and not taking much damage herself, although she has been careless a few times. also, bowstring burns.

natasha- again, she would heal it. but has chronic pain from lugging around that heavy gun and due to age- i think she's in 50s? she's a respected person, and raised seele in the orphanage, but i dont think there's an official age.

pela- cold resistance. maybe some scars from mechanical accidents? and also there were likely some attacks right after she was born since so many of her mother's coworkers were killed.

Qingque- she's clumsy, so accident scars- breaking glass, falling down too many stairs, etc.

sampo- cold res! and probably some close calls since he's such a rat and has enemies, so most scars are on his stomach.

seele- again, growing up in the underworld was tough, so fighting rings + orphanage scraps + street fights, plus some malnourishment since she often gave her food to smaller kids and ran all the errands. was always a fight-first person, but cares a lot and so would protect automatically. has scars all over- many knife ones, some bullet or burns, and electric ones from fixing up mechs.

serval- electric ones from when she was just starting to fight with the guitar. do i need to keep saying cold resistance for the Jarilo-vi ppl?

Silver Wolf- definitely got some, but can aether hacking erase them? either way i doubt she would actually care enough to try unless she was really bored. but also has terrible eyesight, even by punklorde standards. idrk where her scars would be, so spread out mby?

sushang- spent her entire life training and canonically is brawns over brains, so probs more than a few. also her sword is heavy so she probs had some accidents. mostly on her arms and stomach.

tingyun- probs some from people blowing up amicassador ships, since they want to interrupt peace talks and things- but she's fast and experienced.

topaz- had bad lungs, but had a surgery after getting promoted to fix them. some burns on her hands and her sense of smell is a bit screwed up, so numby is often her compass for that (i love numby SO MUCH)

trailblazer- massive scar from getting stabbed through. none from before game started, since apparently they're a puppet. i think they would heal faster, but messily because of that, so a bunch of smaller scars on their torso, face and forearms.

welt- lots and lots from soldier time, especially from debris and the honkai energy probably has some kind of physical drawback. hands are a bit screwed up too, and gets a lot of chronic pain.

yanqing- what the heck is his family history? will it become relevant later? kind of curious how that may affect these hcs, but hands are super calloused and while he often doesn't retain major injuries, he'll only care for them if jing yuan tells him to, so a bunch of smaller scars just from that. mostly on his arms and hands and neck (ppl probs try to stab there often...)

yukong- so many- was huge in the war, so lots of bullet scars and maybe even some that were previously mara-infected and made worse. hearing is shot, uses hearing aids in her fox ears. a bit irrelevant but she is totally awesome.

[freebooter4ever]

I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.

Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.

I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.

I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.

I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.

The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:

I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.

[torialefay]

Hello there! Haven’t seen you around for quite a bit now, is everything okay?🥺

I wanted to request a reading on Chan and if he’s really the way he shows himself to us, if he’s all sweet and caring or could maybe hide some mean parts that would come out in a relationship (like him being an asshole).

I’ve had pretty bad experiences with libra men, they all act sweet and caring the firsts days, basically love bombing you, and then they just show their true asshole nature… soo idk im kinda scared he’s like that too hahah

hi baby!!! everything is okay, tysm for asking 🥺 i'm on clinical rotations right now, which is basically where you train to be a different type of doctor each month. it's been a lottttt this past month, so i haven't been able to write or be on here as much :( but hopefully i'll be able to do more in this next month!

first, i'm so sorry you've had a bad experience with libra men! i just got out of a long-term relationship with a libra man, so i understand what you mean. one thing i WILL say is that as far as acting like an asshole, i don't know that that's a libra quality more than it is something else in their chart. a lot of my best friends are also libra suns and i think the love-bombing aspect of that can be very true for all of them. livras just need that reassurance that you like them and they know how to make you feel special. as far as being an asshole though, i think that we'd have to search deeper into the chart for that.

for chris:

one thing i want to say about libra suns right off the bat is that obviously they like to appease everybody. that's why a lot of people find them likeable. libra suns understand what you want them to act like, and that's exactly what they do. so what does this mean for chan? i think he 100% knows that we like it when he is our "sweet, shy, humble father of 7 kids", but he also knows we like it when he's got major daddy vibes. and he knows WHEN to bring them out... now that side of him is what he shows to US, but it could be vastly different from what he shows others. you've probably seen that when he's around other guys, he takes on a more masculine, playful character than what he normally shows us. i think behind closed doors when he's just with his members or friends, he's def more of a "guy's guy" than what he lets on. i think he probably cuts up a lot, makes crude jokes, says stupid boy shit, etc. but it's not that he's trying to be deceitful in not showing us this... i just think that he knows when it comes to stays, he needs to behave a certain way. i think when it comes to GIRLS in general, he knows he needs to behave a certain way. i don't think any of it is insincere at all, and i think he def still has those traits that come out when he's hanging with the boys, BUT in everday life, i see him as more "dude-ish" than he probably shows us. any man that's out here wear shorts in the fucking cold is a dude's dude, let's be honest.

so, whether he's an asshole or not i think depends on 1) his other chart placements, and 2) what your own chart placements are. for example, i know some people got upset ab what he posted on bubble a week or so ago. to ME, i thought it was just all jokes and him messing around (like dudes do) and thought it was annoying but funny tbh. like i don't have time for your shit today christopher 🙄 BUT obviously some people did not like it and really took it to heart.... so in that regard, it's like "okay, is he an asshole, or do i just perceive him as an asshole bc we don't have the same sense of 'joking around'?" i think that's a big factor in it. but let's look at his chart and see OBJECTIVELY do i think he'd switch it up and be an asshole after a certain amount of time.

as far as communication goes, NO, i do not think he would intentionally be an asshole on a regular basis. his personality AND his communication style both sit in libra in the 5th house. i think this shows he's really funny and creative, flirty, and likes to mess around and get people riled up. random note, but 5th house also is heavily involved in children, so i think he'd talk ab having kids or raising a family together a LOT. but on the regular, i think he'd actually be a good communicator in relationships and try his best to make them fun.

something i find interesting ab channie is that both his moon in libra and his venus in scorp lie in the 6th house. 6th house governs work, service, and health. i feel like this makes TOTAL sense for him. his moon rooted in libra here means that in relationships, he probably has to feel very giving and feel that he needs his partner to integrate into his work life in order to feel balanced. i have sooooo much more to say on this, which i will do later. his venus in scorp here also tells me that he pours a lot of love and beauty into what he does in work, and that he is vvvvv passionate ab it. i think with this combo, it could actually come up that he is "married to work" in a way. he could REALLY struggle finding balance between relationships and work. and let me emphasize why:

his mars is in sagittarius on the 6th/7th house cusp. stick with me here. mars represents action and aggression, while sagittarius is a fiery and independent sign. i talked previously about how 6th house represents work and service, but 7th house is the ruler of partnerships and marriage. so put all of this together and what we are seeing is someone who REALLY struggles in balancing work and relationships, and this is happening in the placements that rule aggression and independence. can def be a scary combo tbh.

so how do i see this playing out? overall, i think chan is lovely in relationships. basically will be whoever you need him to be and actually is very loving. he has that 6th house placement, so although work is extremely important to him, so is service, which INCLUDES taking care of you. HOWEVER, he has a very difficult time balancing these two things. i think when things are going poorly at work, he will bring that home and into your relationship. when things aren't great in your relationship, he will really struggle at work.... so as much as i hate to say it, i do think if he's having a difficult time at work, he could accidentally take it out on you. even if he doesn't mean to... either 2 things would initially happen: (1) he gets really upset and bottles it all in and/or gets flighty all of a sudden and acts like he doesn't know what he wants, (2) he explodes on you for no reason... like when he feels like his life is off-balance, he can genuinely get that worked up. don't get me wrong, he would regret it later and do everything to try and make up for it, but i see him having that problem for the time being.

so i think it's up to everyone individually how they're able to handle those traits in a relationship. i see people say something like "when chan gets stressed at work, all he wants to do is come home and lay in your arms", but i genuinely disagree. he may END UP wanting that by the end of the night, but when he's upset, he needs to be alone for a bit. so i think that's up to you if you think that makes him an asshole or not? i think it depends on compatibility and how you also react 100%

[djuvlipen]

Hey! I wanted to ask you for an advice. For a long time now I've been noticing how the Holocaust denyer accusations became an ultimate discourse shutter in all topics concerning gender and identity. Im doing masters in women's psychology and i suddenly get a lot of this type of accusations when i say that i won't be including transwomen on the basis of being biologicaly male. Bc in their perspective if i don't find tw oppressed enough i deny them being targeted by the nazis in the past. i know that there's a logical fallacy here and that this crowd is being academically dishonest when making those accusations but i just can't find a right way to address it effectively. i always have so many things to say and in turn my opponents tend to become very defensive. And quitting and walking away is unfortunately not an option.

I imagine for someone like you, who's seriously studying holocaust and romani genocide, it sounds pretty much abhorrent and distasteful as it is. I wonder if you happen to have any experience with this sort of account and counteracting them in discussions and conversations? any strategies or something like that?

Hi! first off, love that you're getting a masters in women's psychology, that sounds so interesting

Yeah, unfortunately that's something I also have to deal with on the regular... (Kind of related) once I was giving a presentation on my research subject during which I defined 'woman' as 'people born female who are thus socialized into performing a feminine social role', and at the end of it the PhD student grading me told me I was validating Nazi ideology by using that definition because I was basing myself on regressive and offensive biological determinism -_-. Unfortunately I have to say that I only could nod and smile like "oh yeah you're so right haha, silly me, I hadn't thought about it that way!"... but it was a special occasion (she was grading me and I wanted a good grade). If going the 'educating them about the Holocaust' road doesn't work, I suggest maybe saying this:

not every bad thing is a genocide. trans persecution is bad but it is not akin to genocide and saying so isn't minimizing how bad trans persecution can get

genocide as a concept is about racialized forms of persecution (persecution based on race, ethnicity, religion, nationality). it's a concept that first and foremost has to do with antiracism. removing racism from conversations about genocide, to instead focus on persecution based on gender identity, does a disservice to our understanding of racism and genocide and hinders antiracist activism

Maybe they'll be more receptive to these. Personally that's what I say in informal conversations and it works.

If nothing works though I'd suggest just powering through and staying silent. Don't waste your energy on people who are so hellbent on misrepresenting you that they will twist one of the most horrific events in history to fit their narrative. You, your time, your energy are worth better

[aspiringwriter1111]

Hallmark PSA

I know since it's coming on the holiday season, I'm going to start seeing a lot of Hallmark slander.

But here's a little known fact.

Hallmark is actually really really good.

WAIT WAIT DON'T LEAVE-

Let me explain!

The movies people usually associate Hallmark with are the "old" ones (2020 and back). I bet after seeing how cliche and unhealthy they were, you didn't see a reason to watch them again after that, am I right??

But you knew them well enough to know they weren't worth your time and sanity.

Girl in a high stress job goes to small town, learns the meaning of Christmas, and then cheats on her also stressed out boyfriend back in the city with a hot cocoa making stubbly kind of rude lumberjack man then quits her job and moves to Vermont or something.

Yeah, they don't do those anymore.

At all.

I'm serious.

A part of it is that there was a purge. A year or two ago, there was a new Christmas movie company in town. All the actors that didn't like the forward direction Hallmark wanted to go in, left and joined GAC.

(Great American Family, or as I like to call it GACK. The movies are exclusively awful old Hallmark style, but Republican, badly decorated, very white, and also much worse.)

GAC took all the problems away from Hallmark, and made movies out of them. Hallmark, now cleansed, is pumping out cinematic greats that I WILL be rewatching every Christmas.

The whole of Hallmark was Recast, save for the best of the best fan favorites (Like Lacey Chaubert-)

They have plus sized actors now and people of color, cast as main characters on a regular basis.

Half of the movies aren't even romance centric anymore, instead focused on life, and moving forward, but when they are, they're really well done, and actually healthy.

If you know me (which you don't), then you'll know I hate unhealthy relationships. Especially when they're treated like they're okay. I will pick apart ANYTHING over toxicity in a relationship, wherever that might come from.

I used to hate Hallmark movies, because they were predictable, unrealistic, flawed, and toxic.

But now the characters talk with each other, and they don't get in the others space without permission. If there's an accident and it does happen, it's not used as a plot device to move the relationship along. It's not treated in a "OMG hot guy is literally right in my face!!! I've only known him two minutes and I hate him, I'm in love!!"

It's more of an, "OMG I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that at all, im so sorry, I'm so sorry- *Immediately backs away*"

I can't even begin to explain how much better they are now.

To further prove my point, here are some gifs of Three Wise Men and a Baby, one of my favorite Christmas movies ever:

Just listen to this one.

It's about three brothers, one of which is a firefighter (this is important). A baby gets dropped off at the fire station, with a note. The firefighters name is on it, asking him to look after the baby until Christmas.

This is not his baby.

This IS a joke throughout the entire film.

They have no idea who dropped him off.

So they end up taking care of him for a week, and seriously bonding with him. The make his first Christmas ornament with clay, they do a holiday photo dressed to the nines.

They talk about how hard it is to actually take care of a baby, and how hard it must have been for their mom doing it alone.

Talking about how their own dad left, and finally processing that trauma together.

Their mom confesses that if she didn't have support, she may have done what the babies mother did. How she must be going through such a rough patch, and building empathy for her.

All three of the brothers go on complete cathartic emotional journeys about it, and all the other issues in their life.

I can't do it justice.

It's called Three Wise Men and A Baby. I'm begging you please go watch it, you will NOT regret it.

I CRIED SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I'm tearing up now just thinking about it oh my gOD-

The ending just sent it home for me, so I won't spoil anything.

Its amazing. I can't explain the whole thing, I seriously beg you please go watch it.

And, if you're more into comedy, I present to you Haul out The Holly:

A Christmas comedy starring your very own Gretchen Weiners!! Abso-fucking-lutley HILARIOUS.

It's about a woman, just broken up with her boyfriend, and coaxed into going home for the holidays. Here's where it gets interesting.

Her parents are the head of the Christmas neighborhood watch, something that has plagued her since childhood. Her childhood friend has now taken over the position, as her parent ditch her for retirement on a beach someplace, and she's left stuck, having to decorate against her will.

She wants a nap. The neighbors want her to carve ice sculptures. And her nutcracker apparently isn't up to code.

Includes: Girlboss and male wife power duo (madly in love), insane chainsaw man with way too much time on his hands, the ML an anxious wreck, and many, many, MANY MORE.

Another recent movie was built around a woman who is an astronaut (She's mixed) who was about to finally go to space (The goal shes been working on her entire life) She got into a car accident and her eyesight was impaired. She's currently grieving the loss of her dream (like, actually grieving, she took three months off-).

Her company asks her if she wants to do an exhibit in the planetarium for Christmas, that she doesn't have to, but she can if she wants to take her minds off of things. She says yes, and ends up working with the planetarium director on an exhibit about the sun and it's connection to Christmas through how people used to celebrate with the sun (I don't remember exactly, but it was explained thoroughly, and i think pagan???)

She and him don't constantly argue, or be angry at each other. They cooperate. They show genuine interest in each other. It's actually adorable, and it's also not just about them.

She meets his daughter, who is a wheelchair user. She asks why the Female lead isn't in space if she's an astronaut, and the FL tell her it's because of her eyes. The daughter tells her it's okay, because she'll never be able to go to space either, even if she wants to, but she can still enjoy it from Earth.

I'm not even doing it justice.

By the end of the movie, the FLs eye problem doesn't heal. Nothing is miraculously solved. But the ML and the FL are now dating (After the best, slow paced, healthy, communicative, collaborative bonding freaking ever-) ALL OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE FULL BLOWN EMOTIONAL JOURNEYS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER.

SHE GRIEVES.

HER BROTHER FINALLY FIGURES OUT ITS OKAY FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE LOVES, AND THAT HE'S NOT A FAILURE FOR IT.

THE ML LET'S GO OF THINKING HES A BAD PARENT.

AND MORE.

There are soft bits, nothing is cliche, nothing is icky or gross.

It's healthy, it's cute, it's emotionally driven, I'm actually learning about things I didn't know before, and amazing.

And all the new ones are either like this or better than this. I could name over ten, but I can't even explain how good they are.

Some of the are still a little dark ages, but it's only every one out of six or seven.

Hallmark movies from 2022 and onwards are 5 star television, and you can't convince me otherwise.