#im too tired to read it through | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tzarrz · 5 months ago

Text

i listen to fog lake too much

#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello #it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill #thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time #that means so much #anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much #i want to eat them #i want to ugly cry #i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit #im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat #so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is #more coming...in maybe another year #It's a big project!#to me. yeah #my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while #if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk #whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy #didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was #(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trimax #trigun #tzarrz

3K notes · View notes

chemicalcarousel · 2 years ago

Text

4am psych rant about personality theory sry bout that /lh

(by an ex psych student who's a neurodivergent dissociative system)

Disclaimer: it is now a few years ago that we took this course. We also have a bad memory. This is more us thinking out loud based on what we remember from various sources. Peace and love /gen

▪︎I'm thinking back on our class in personality psychology and it was really interesting bc our professor said that even though psychologists agree that there's something that's a "personality", it is super hard to define what it is and nobody really agrees on a precise definition

▪︎Personalities change over time, between social groups, in certain circumstances, ect. It has range, but there's still something about it that is coherent and individual. Or at least for the average person. Most people would be able to say some basic facts about themselves, but honestly most seem to struggle with defining themselves. Not only from my observation, but that's what people around me have said whenever we are forced to introduce ourselves in a new setting /lh

▪︎So even neurotypical people struggle with "knowing who they truly are". They take mbti tests, look at their zodiac sign, love language tests, hell even a silly internet tests about which Italian dessert they would be. Just like we do lol we have so much in common after all /lh

Idk it's super interesting. We need to pick up our text books and re-read some of it if we manifest the concentration for it lol

Also sorry if this doesn't make sense im tired and I just needed to rant bc I like to talk jdksksksks

#im too tired to read it through #idk what tags to add hhdh #actuallymentallyill #actuallynd #actually neurodivergent #actually nd #actually mentally ill #i dont want to add specific disorders bc #honestly every disorder affects the personality imo #also i dont wanna intrude on communities im not a part of #i dont have a pd fx #ah anyway sending vibes n all #yo its sof #ours

1 note · View note

ghostespresso · 1 year ago

Text

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site #changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too #this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus #if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear #if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine #the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money #someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont #tumblr staff #EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but #that doesnt stop the post from being stupid #the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase #if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did #so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post #edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post #they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us #i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded #and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money #tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol #ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years #but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one

920 notes · View notes

canonkiller · 13 days ago

Text

so many intricacies to manage in what I want to say and how vulnerable I want to be at any given time based on platform and account and audience and subject matter and time. and despite all of those calculations the pulse underneath it is a deep and relentless desire to be open about everything in magical made up way where that knowledge doesn't burden anyone but simply passes through as something Known and immutable. I want the delineation of a Work, where I can control how much is shown and what is felt by others on seeing it isn't under my control at all but it also doesn't mark Me. it's like idolatry. I was meant to be a statue on a pedestal and probably missing some bits craving touch as something that was carved once and was then left alone as one complete. You get me? I think I need to start taking my olanzapine

#intricate calculations applied to this being on this blog too. im really tired. i dont understand social things enough to know #what about my existence is too much. and i do not know myself well enough to separate a logical restraint #from the guilt and shame of knowing how much i need in order to live. that my survival relies on a charity from others #that has so far been finite and worn through. this is not something that anyone can fix by reading this #its not something i can fix by writing it. but there is so much in me that wants to be held (again) and there aren't enough words for that #what is there to say. can you love me now when i am this? its exhibitionistic really. who gets anything from this #i dont know. im normal. im so unmedicated #not art

29 notes · View notes

dizzybizz · 1 year ago

Text

AITA if I accidentally left fish at my mayor's house for two weeks straight? And it left his house stinky?

OK- so I (26TM) moved to a small sort of isolated town during spring this year, where I work as a farmer on a farm my grandpa once owned. It's been great and I have really settled in over the course of the year.

Time passed and eventually fall was upon us. Now, during the middle of fall the town holds a small festival, where among other things you could set up a little stall with your finest products for a friendly competition and review. Our mayor (??M) hooked me up with one of those which was really nice- I had been doing a lot of fishing over the months and I had a few good ones to display so I did. I ended up getting second place- okay no, that is not really relevant-

But after the results were out, the mayor specifically reminded me to not forget to empty out my supply and bring it with my back home. He specifically went out of his way to remind me. Thing is... I might have gotten a bit caught up in the other festivities and fun things around (not my fault they were grilling burgers and had gambling). And I completely forgot, I only remembered the moment I stepped foot inside my room again.

Next morning rolls around and I wake up to a letter in my mailbox from the mayor explaining that the fish I had left were placed inside the town's Lost and Found. Which is just a big box inside his house. So I thought "OK, great. I'll head over today and retrieve them." Yeah, that didn't really turn out. I completely forgot, it completely slipped my mind. And that same series of events of - me recalling that I had stuff in the Lost and Found and meaning to go pick them up and forgetting - kept happening for a while. Until two weeks had passed and it was winter. And as I was passing the mayor's house the thought struck again. Except this time I actually REMEMBERED and WENT THROUGH WITH IT. So I knock on his door and I get let in, and the house smells like, well... rotten fish. I go straight to the box while talking about how I'm so sorry it took so long and that I was always getting distracted by this that and the other. And he's being all understanding and nodding along. But there is no way he wasn't at least a bit ticked off, right? And I do feel really bad but I cannot do much for my forgetfulness besides setting reminders maybe... maybe I will try that in the future.

AITA for forgetting to pick up my forgotten fish from my mayor's house?

#i dont think i have the brain capacity to read this through right now im so tired #does this sort of read like a convincing aita. i wouldnt know #doesnt really matter tho. its all for shits and giggles.#ive been writing for like 40 minutes for this absolute shitpost help #when the bit goes too far #stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer #sdv lewis #uhm do i even wanna tag this with my art ....#my art #doodle #guyssailawayfarm #this is pure crack i was cackling so hard writing this you dont even know

111 notes · View notes

randomminty · 1 year ago

Text

Hbubhhuhub. Rais ea suillen

#EDIT I FORGOT IF MASUKI WEARS A DRESS OR PANTS AND I FUCKING GUESSRF WRONG NO!!!!!!!!!#WAS DRAWING IT THINKING THIS DRESS WOULD LOOK SO MUCH COOLEF IF THEY WERE PANTS. GUESS WHAT.#masuki. masuki. masuki 5 star where are you.#bandori #raise a suilen #art tag #oh my god i have to tag them all. all of thrm. dear lord.#chu2 #pareo #rokka asahi #masuki satou #rei wakana #i couldbe just added bandori to the end its ok. too late. hehe #im reading through all the ras stories on eng then ill move on to the single event not on eng #last one was the waterpark next is band story 2….. wish me luck………..#i couldnt draw reis face here idk why…. ive drawn it well before this one in particular just broke me fsr #i could say so many thingd abt ras rn but im tired so i wont #i listened to their music for 5 hours today. raychells singing drives me insane #okay thats all bue bey #chiyu tamade #reona nyubara #<- I FORGTO okay bye

144 notes · View notes

redysetdare · 1 year ago

Text

every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

#text #half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep #instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all #because majority of people don't even know what that is #this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw #this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media #and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane #you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media #stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities #im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up #when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team #i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community #now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals #and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place #it's exhausting #like the aphobia is coming from inside the house #i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.

60 notes · View notes

pink-lemonadefairy · 2 months ago

Text

#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee #i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to #it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar #space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder #but i will surviveeeeeee #counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim #fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and #watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself #i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting #can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i #i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day #not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully #i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up #i hope everything goes well #anyways bye bye #♡ dear diary…

11 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 27 days ago

Text

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man #thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking #mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they #dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done #listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life #i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this #once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i #dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this #ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be #i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about #how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being #given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out #entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please #its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have #to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once #and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general #feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this #but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is #i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired #i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if #i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore #i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr #and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning #my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better #it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood #my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it #cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen #.vent #ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.

9 notes · View notes

triphimi · 3 months ago

Text

❗️More somewhat heavy spoilers for into the pit❗️

So about the Balloon Boy minigame. The one where you collect hats ofc (not that stupid ass shooter that took me 40 minutes to get good enough score to unlock the music track ehm.)

It was the first arcade I fixed and played so additional shock value. We collect party hats through parkour and dodging balls. After getting 5 an exit spawns and we can end getting a "5/5".

But let's be real, even when I played it for the first time I knew it had to be a fnaf 3 minigame kind of deal. And it was.

From the first area of where we collected pary hats (1) we go through the wall and the music in the next area gets distorted a bit (2), we go to another area and game gets even more distorted and we pop the balloons along the way (3). In the final area (4) the music stops completely and there we see mfing purple guy who's about to drop the 6th party hat into the void. If we catch if without falling into the void ourselves we can go back to the exit to get a "6/5" and unlock the music track.

They put PURPLE GUY there. They put a FNAF 3 REFERENCE in there. I was actually at loss of words after it. Too bad it's the only one that references fnaf 3 minigames.

Also if you wonder why I put numbers in the brackets up there it's because I THINK it MIGHT be a fnaf world reference and going deeper and deeper into the code. The game tho mostly music breaks more and more the further we go, it eventually stops completely in the 4th room.

That's a detail that I might be completely wrong about and maybe it's not supposed to reference fnaf world at all and I'm aware of that so take it with a grain of salt.

#i don't feel like reading through that post to correct spelling mistakes either #maybe later im too tired now but i need to talk aboit itp #fnaf #fnaf into the pit

9 notes · View notes

littlest-bugz · 5 months ago

Text

Does anyone else go thru phases where you don’t want to talk to anyone?

Like,,, I love you so much, but I just need to RECOUP. I need my alone time so I don’t have another breakdown.