#im tired and caffeinated and u tell

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

my ass Cannot get away from alliterations i swear im not doing it intentionally

[oasisofgalaxies]

i accidentally drank caffeine right after taking my meds so now im a lump and very tired and may i request a doodle of miles edgeworth telling me how stupid it was to do that (in my defense how was i supposed to know 7/11 free slurpee had caffeine :(

Sorry this is late!! Hope u felt better afterwards :]

[princess-of-the-corner]

And Yet More Random Fanfic Quotes!

: )

*

IcyThotPainRelief: Remember Zuku murder is illegal

Izuwu: Ur one to talk!

IcyThotPainRelief: Look if im not allowed to ruin my reputation neither are u! we either go down together or not at all bitch!

*

Mom-o: Hagakura! That is highly inappropriate! Even if he does sound like an unsavory individual, we still don’t know how Midoriya feels about the whole situation! So, it’s best not to assume his feelings on the subject.

Izuwu: Well he’s dead to me so technically u guys arnt wrong the bastered can rot in hell for all the heart ach he gave my mom!

Mom-o: Oh okay, carry on you guys.

*

SharkBoi: Am i gunna need to bail my boyfriend out of jail?

WeepingDarkness669: Thats only if he gets caught

Pikachu: Bold of u to assume our dear Kacchan knows anything about keeping things lowkey when it comes to acts of violence

*

Tired™: Dont be dragging me into u guys is shit! I was a happy little introvert chilling on my own until u guys showed up!

IcyThotPainRelief: U should of thought of that before spilling ur entire traumatic backstory within a 5 mile radius of Izuku “I will save people with the power of friendship” Midoriya

*

Izuwu: So as auntie Mitsuki is beating my dead-beat dad with her shoe and guess who decided to show up out ow fuckin nowhere?

Pikachu: The pizza delivery guy?

WeepingDarkness: Death itself?

DisneyPrincess: The cops?

AlienQween: *gestured with feeling* Aliens?

SugarDaddy: The League of Villains?

Hentai: Jesus fucking chist guys…

Izuwu: ALL MIGHT!!!

Izuwu: With like?? a bouquet of flowers?? and in a blazer?? Cuz like apparently hes going out with my mom??

IcyThotPainRelief: I FUSKING KNWE IT!!!

Izuwu: Still not his secret love child Sho!

Izuwu: So anyways All Might is there and is all like “what’s going on” and Kacchan goes “we’re beating up Deku’s shitty dad” then All Might said “wait he’s alive??”

DefyingGravity: Deku’s useless Y chromosome user: quit telling everyone im dead!

DefyingGravity: Us: sometimes i can still hear his voice

Izuwu: SO ANYWAYS

Izuwu: Auntie finally stops beating up my father because she too is really surprised to see All Might at our door step which now allows my sperm doner to finally be aware of his surroundings and he looks up at All Might and goes “who the hell are u and what do u want?” and then All Might looks this man dead in the eye and fuking goes “Im here to pick up ur wife we have dinner reservations!”

*

Izuwu: I THOUGHT WE WERW FRIENDS IIDA!!

Saaanic: We are and it is my job to tell you that your entire existence is being held together by sticky tape, a lot of prayer, and spite.

*

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: you ever think about how we define sandwichs by the inside of them not the outside

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: like you never say “oh i gotta wheat bread sandwich”

*

“You’re worth a hundred of them,” Todoroki said shortly.

“I disagree,” Iida said dryly. “A hundred of any of them would make poor company.”

*

LabSafety101: she’s surprisingly subdued rn, I actually convinced her to take a nap

Dadzawa: that’s because she worked for 72 hours straight with minimal caffeine

LabSafety101: hey chiyo

GrannyChiyo: if she’s already asleep I can’t do anything

LabSafety101: yeah but can you make sure she’s not about to die in her sleep

Yamadad: the boys made sure she ate, dw

LabSafety101: was it healthy?

Yamadad: idk but it was food!

*

UncleGun: I know for a fact that basically every kid in school at least knows half the common swear words

UncleGun: but it’s also really fun to say “dagnabbit”

*

“Alright. I didn’t ask you to get your hero costumes because today you will all be fighting Shinsou.”

The whole class raised their eyebrows. Shinsou tried his hardest not to scream inside though.

Because, what the fuck?

“Uh, sir. That doesn’t seem very fair,” Momo spoke up.

“Yes I know.” Aizawa nodded, “Also, none of you are allowed to use your quirks. Except him, obviously.”

“Why!” Bakugou shouted, “I wanna beat him nice and fair!”

Aizawa was not fazed. “You all know how Shinsou’s quirk works. Once you respond to him, he can make you do anything. That is all. Is that too hard for you?”

The class frowned. Was that a trick question?

Aizawa nodded, and made to sit down. Shinsou stopped him, speaking quietly, “I… I think you’re overestimating my power, here.”

Aizawa just scoffed, “I think you’re underestimating their stupidity.”

[…]

After five minutes, there were only three students in front of him. Kouda, because he didn’t talk anyway, Ojirou, because he had actually learned his lesson at the sports festival, and Sero, who had literally taped his mouth shut.

Aizawa walked towards them and stood next to Shinsou. The ones at the wall, looked at him in varying degrees, of shame and disbelief.

The teacher sighed, “All you had to do was not talk.” He shook his head at them, “That’s all you had to do.”

*

Pro Hero Hawks: So you’ll get to meet all kinds of heroes! Maybe even All Might!

Pro Hero Hawks: Yes, this is naked bribery.

*

“Young Midoriya is quite the hero fan, isn’t he?”

“He’s not just a fan, Yagi-san, he’s not just an air conditioner either: Midoriya-kun is an entire HVAC system.”

*

“Gentlemen, I am here, with some brand new handcuffs! Who would like to try them on first?”

*

Izuku, despite his professionalism as an analyst, despite his commitment to be a hero, still found that teenage urge to throw his head back and groan at the prospect of something that could be seen as a boring, pointless task. He fought the feeling down, self-control pinning it to the ground and discipline clubbing it with a half-brick in a sock before dragging it back into the depths of his mind, and then assumed a low stance.

*

Mirko’s kicks were well known for breaking bones.

Coincidentally, high schoolers tended to have bones.

-

I AM CACKLING I LOVE THIS

[finnyphcntom]

notorious.

----------

chapter two : combos

---------

He remembers his young days, walking into this very gas station way past his curfew with Aiden. He’d walk right in and buy him one big blue raspberry slushie, and then grab whatever snack he was craving that night. It was typically combos. He fucking loved combos.

---------

Fucking shit.

He was tired, exhausted even. He knew Dandelion was fun to talk to but shit, not that fun.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : geralt got baxk with me the party is at 6 but everyone showsbup late to shit like that so meet me at 7'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : excited to see you, its been a while!'

The speedway parking lot was rather empty when Lambert put his car in park.

There were many things he swore by, and just as many things he swore by but didn't listen to. One of those things was stopping caffeine- effective probably never.

Not only did Dandelion keep him up, but he was just a tired grouchy man.

But he needed his energy today. He had to work a shitty 9-5, but after, he had a party to crash. Better expect pettiness of all that is petty. He's talking tables thrown, lies exposed…

He knew the location, the time, who all would be there. Its funny, actually, because Dandelion said Kiera's been there often.

But she hadn't. Lambert had asked her about it; if she knew anything. Each time she would go quiet as if trying to remember or think if she has, but would always answer no. The days of the party, she would be stuck at her business late or have something to do. So there was no way she would have been able to make it.

She always had something to do, near the end.

Isnt that funny? Never wanted to hang out with him, never went on dates, barely even responded to him, but sobbed when he left her. She begged him to stay, hell, even threw glassware at him- it made no sense in his rather walnut sized brain.

'lambert : hey do me a favor, dont tell geralt im going'

'lambert : or tbh anyone for that matter. i want it to be a complete surprise.'

'lambert : do that for me and consider me ur free ride of the night, will u princess?’

He slipped his phone into his pocket and got out of his car, walking into the speedway.

He remembers his young days, walking into this very gas station way past his curfew with Aiden. He’d walk right in and buy him one big blue raspberry slushie, and then grab whatever snack he was craving that night. It was typically combos. He fucking loved combos.

Aiden first put him on the snack, Lambert thinking they were incredibly… “mid.” But after trying different flavors, he realized he was literally obsessed with the pizza flavors. They were a snack sent by the heavens, a gift from god himself.

But man, how he missed Aiden. Grief never ends, never goes away. Lambert lost maybe more than half of him when he received that phone call that night from Aiden’s mother. Everyday was the same- no more two in the morning gas station runs and getting high behind said gas station. No more skipping highschool classes to hang out in the bathrooms.

He could never again eat combos.

Life was the same. He finds someone he clicks with, gets attached to them way to quick then someone like him should, its good for a while, and then it ends. Doesn't matter how that ending comes about, it still ends.

And every single day he works this shit ass nine to five. He comes back and does the same farm work, plays the same game. He could really use a switch up, but how?

A ding from his phone causes him to realize that he's standing there, just ominously staring at the red bull fridge. If he had a nickel for every time his phone is the mediator between him and his weirdly timed zone-outs, he would have… plenty of nickels, actually.

‘dandelion : oh, what kind of ride we talkin? ;)’

‘dandelion : is your passenger seat taken? morning btw ^^ i fell asleep’

Lambert's response was shamefully immediate. And oh yeah, he saved Dandelions contact.

‘lambert : never ta ken when its you, princess’

‘lambert : and im talkin bout the ride of your life baby’

His smile is the biggest it’s been in a while when he grabs two or three red bulls and heads to the self checkout.

He really, really wasn't used to this. What the fuck was he doing? Flirting was typically really hard for the guy, given he attempts to avoid any form of human interaction.

Dandelion doesn't answer, not even when he's paid and back in his car. Lambert has never been the most patient of people.

‘dandelion : uhhhhh what do i do if 3 of my tires are slashed?’

‘dandelion : i have a performance idk what to do should i call geralt?’

‘dandelion : geralt will just get mad tho and assume it was my ex’

He stared at his phone screen. According to Geralt, Dandelion’s ex is.. well, psychotic. Dandelion has had to move, stay nights with them, and get Geralt to scare the guy off on multiple occasions.

But he had work in approximately 23 minutes. He couldnt skip work, it was too late for him to call in. He would be in big trouble if he did so, there only being one other manager for the whole store. Not to mention, the paycut. His paycheck would be short, and he's got saving to do.

Geralt would likely get angry at him, too. He was always real big on making sure Lambert never socialized with Dandelion. Lambert was never really sure why.

Of course, there were a lot of reasons he speculated. Geralt knew Lambert would treat him better. Geralt knew Dandelion would like him better. Geralt knew that though antisocial, Lambert tended to form attachments quickly.

Years of abuse and neglect from a drunken father would do that to a guy, he supposes. Always getting attached, paranoid of random people. It was hard for him to trust.

He wasn't thinking. Wasn't thinking when he lifted his phone and tapped on it a few times.

“Hey, this is Lambert. Im letting you know I wont be making it in today. Im sorry.”

He hung up.

Did he really just do that?

‘lambert : hey, whats ur address?’

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion looked just about ready to sob when he got in the car.

“I told you my performance is not until later.” Dandelion says, anxiously checking his surroundings. “I couldve- couldve arranged an uber. Or just not went. Its not really that important.”

This man was chronically insane. His ex slashes his tires in a location hes not supposed to know about? And he was just going to stay there?

“Clearly someone who isnt supposed to know you live here, well.. does. Its not safe for you to be here right now. We can… I dont know. Do you want to come to my place?” Lambert asked.

Dandelion shook his head no. He wasnt for Geralt knowing, wanting to avoid drama all together.

Lambert cracked open one of his redbulls, putting the car back in drive and pulling out of the driveway.

“Then, do you have parents to g-”

“No. Please, thank you, but no. Not them.” Dandelion says, clutching his seatbelt. “They don't really support my life right now.”

Lambert didn't need an explanation, driving down the road. He didn't have a girlfriend to waste money on, so he wasn't necessarily worried about wasting gas.

It was quiet for a bit, Dandelion giving himself a bit to calm down. When Lambert begins to question if they were going to talk at all, Dandelion speaks up.

“I like being a passenger princess. Being treated like royalty, which I deserve no less.” He says, smiling. “I am quite picky. Do you think you can keep up?”

Clearly, Lambert was really good at flirting with Dandelion before. It came naturally to him, flowing out of his mind like a river. So, clearly, he needed not to think before spewing out the best pick-up line you’ve ever heard,

“I- I uh- can, can keep you up.”

Okay that was bad. But rather worth it, if it weren't for the rupture of laughter that rang through the car.

“I'm focused on driving!” He exclaims, defensive manners strong in his words.

“You know, you and Geralt are similar.” Dandelion closes his eyes, and Lambert's heart drops. The shadow was back, coming for him, engulfing him, warming him and leading him astray. It was burning cold, sharp, an ache in his heart. A feeling he was tired, or even exhausted of. Geralt was a never-ending, constantly raising bar that he had to do hourly pullups on. Hourly reminders that he was not Geralt, the perfect golden child of the family.

“But you’re also so different. I'd go as far to say you’re nicer,” Dandelion starts, and Lambert's heart flutters. “And honestly? Better morals. More fun to be around. What im trying to say,” the shadow is shrinking, shiverling into a smaller fragment of what it once was, instead being replaced by the light that is this mans gorgeous fucking face, “I can definitely tell you were raised by the same man. But you’re also.. Your own person, and I like that.”

In the middle of the street, he put his car in park and grabbed both sides of Dandelions face, pressing his lips onto the soft, delicate lips of the sweet princess of sunshine he had sitting in the passenger seat of his car.. Dandelion climbs on top of him as they begin to make out.

Is what would happen if Lambert got everything he wanted. And if traffic laws were avoidable. And if he had tinted windows.

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion was a performer, a rising one at that. Therefore, when Dandelion suggested he come watch his performance, there was no way in hell he could decline. He saw videos of him on almost any platform he had- covering songs, writing songs, his cute, smart little intros and outros. He was made to perform.

He was supposed to be covering a song today. It wasn't a concert or anything- he was hired to put on a show for an event at a club. It shouldn't be too crowded. It was a club, at 3pm. No way it’d be busy.

Boy was he wrong. Luckily, Dandelion was able to drag him to the front, right in the center. He winked and gave him a little wave, before he was off somewhere backstage.

Lambert stood there like a fool, a lost puppy if you will. He had never been the type for this, was not expecting this many people, and was overstimulated, and- holy shit, the lights just dimmed red. Like a deep, blood red.

There was a faint noise, like a sound kicking on. When music started, he visibly flinched. God, it was loud. The person next to them, seemingly recording, gave him a rather rude side eye.

The music stopped, and Dandelion walked out, wearing a rather oversized black sheer blouse- that fell perfectly over his porcelain shoulders.

“How are we doing tonight?” He says, smiling widely at the crowd in front of him.

The crowd just roared, causing Lambert to flinch again, but his body locked up when he made eye contact with Dandelion. The red lighting- a warm tone but god did Dandelion look so cold- sick as fuck.

“How am I?” He asked, pointing at himself. “Oh, I'm okay. I almost couldn't make it here. Valdo Marx slashed my tires.”

His ex was Valdo Marx? That ugly ass guy?

A loud set of ‘boo’s’ and ‘fuck him!’s’ ran through the crowd, as the beat started.

“Anyway, I decided to cover a Hozier song. You know, per request.” He winked.

“Just a little rush, babe.

To feel dizzy, to derail the mind of me.

Just a little hush babe,

Our veins are busy,

But my hearts in atrophy”

His eyes were wide. His heart was pounding. His heart rate was faster than the blue hedgehog in the games he’d play when he was little. The red lighting, his cheeky little intro about his ex. His even cheekier smile, the look of passion in his eyes.

Dandelion was a masterpiece.

“You and I, nursing on a poison that never stung,

Our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it,

Somewhere for this, death and guns

We are deaf, we are numb

Free and young and we can feel none of it”

Lambert realized the music really wasn't that loud anymore. No, it wasn't loud enough. Though still, with hands on the microphone stand, he was the best performer Lambert had ever seen. Okay, maybe he was a bit biased. That voice was a gift from heavy itself, though.

Why did he only now decide to pull out his phone and start recording? He didn't know. But he was.

“Something isn't right, babe

I keep catching little words,

But the meanings thin

Im somewhere outside my life, babe

I keep scratching but somehow, I can't get in

So we’re slaves to any semblance of touch,

Lord we should quit...

But we love it too much”

Dandelion seemed to see that Lambert was recording, and made direct eye contact with the man again. He watched as Dandelion’s hands ran up the microphone stand, slowly pulling the microphone out of its attachment, walking forward..

Slowly, Dandelion transitioned onto his knees, closer to the crowd. He held himself up with his free arm, his sheer blouse falling over his shoulder to reveal more of that porcelain skin to the needy, desperate people.

He was the so-called needy, desperate people.

“Darlin’, don't you, stand there watching,

Won't you

Come and save me from it?

Darlin’, don't you, join in, you’re supposed to

Drag me away from it.”

Now deciding to sit up, if anything he was leaning a little back, face full of emotion. He was too dumbfounded to read which emotion though. Just saw Dandelion, that pretty face, and pretty skin peeking through.

“Anyway to distract and sedate,

Adding shadows to the wall of the cave.”

Dandelion was able to pull off a mix of standing up and spinning as he repeated the chorus, singing with much more energy than the start. It probably had a word. Everything had a word. Lambert wasn't a master of music.

“I learned that song yesterday, just for you guys.” He said, winking. What comes next is a somehow, strangely handsome mixture between a pant and a laugh.

“I think I’m going to go to a gas station and get a redbull and some combos after this one, what about you guys?”

And as the cheer and roars erupt, he's stuck there.

Combos.

[cathode-ray-rube]

really fuckin tired of not being able to sleep despite barely ever having caffeine anymore, u can tell im having a tough time sleeping when i start posting old shit from the depths of my phone

[amerasdreams]

Tip when you're really tired --

Don't read posts that make you mad.

[zouisexo]

.

[angel-nero]

I drank too much coffee to do my hw and now that im over is like 🗣 ok so when can i fall asleep? 🗣

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Incorrect MHA as things I’ve said during ✨mental breakdowns✨ part 4:

*TW FOR ATTEMPTED $U!C!DE*

Shouto: you can take one look at me and know I’m not mentally stable! look at me, look at my hair?!

———————

Shouto: things were going great you know, then my parents just had to go and make me

———————

Jirou: there is no consistency, only Washing Machine Heart

———————

Monoma: If I have to be here, I am going to make it everyone’s problem

———————

Aoyama: the the shiniest broken disco ball

———————

Izuku: why did I do this? Oh, because I’m Izuku and I make dUMB DECISIONS

———————

Iida: the stress has toppled over, it’s panic attack time

———————

Kaminari: im resting my neck; it’s tired from keeping all my thoughts in my head

———————

Kaminari: what are words if not organized key smashes

———————

Aoyama: If beauty is pain, it explains why I am constantly hurting

———————

Aoyama: the question is, “how fabulous am I?” And the answer,,, is yes

———————

Uraraka: I am small and confrontational, fight me! The lord shan’t win!

———————

Izuku: I am small, and afraid of conflict; please don’t come near me

———————

Shinsou: and I’m going to grab some more coffee, because in the end, I truly am just an unhealthy bitch

———————

Kaminari: I haven’t said something relatively funny in the past 10 minutes; therefore, all my friends hate me and my potential is nonexistent. Have a good day.

———————

Iida: it’s a bad idea, but am I supposed to make good ideas? No! I’m a teenager! This sh*t is expected

———————

Jirou and Shouto: my two defining features are that I am 1) gay. And 2) mentally unstable

———————

Aoyama about someone who was rude to him: honestly, they’re so in love with me it’s sad

———————

Most of them, honestly: I don’t know romance, I only know trauma

———————

Aizawa or shinsou: fUck me; life is meaningless

———————

Aizawa: ah, natural selection

———————

Izuku: the only constant in my life is that I’m used as a therapist by all those around me

———————

Shinsou: cant have any traumatic memories if you don’t have any memories at all! Work smarter, not harder kids

————————

Izuku: why ask for help when you can crawl into a hole and die?

————————

Shouto: proof that I am both immortal and a glitch in the matrix: I have no memories of my childhood; therefore, I spawned. And I cannot be killed no matter how many times others have tried to kill me, and I have tried to kill myself

————————

Izuku: there was a conflict, so I had an anxiety attack. Then, there was another conflict, so I hid in the bathroom and looked at memes

————————

Shouto: after years of being unable to cry, I finally just had a mental breakdown and sobbed uncontrollably for two hours.

————————

Jirou: when people look at me I want them to ask, “is she gay?” Not, “what is wrong with her?”

————————

Mina: for someone who isn’t holding it together at all, I think I’m doing a pretty good job of acting like I know what I’m doing

————————

Monoma: if I can’t feel good at least I must look good so that others can know I’m better than them

————————

Kaminari: *altered slightly to fit the situation and because I’m not telling you my professors name* Mr. Aizawa doesn’t just wake up, Mr. Aizawa wakes up, tells me to go fuck myself, and goes back to sleep. That’s a day in the life of Mr. Aizawa

————————

Shinsou: I haven’t felt true joy since 1802

————————

Izuku: I love making fun of myself, because it gives me such a confidence boost while also making me feel like complete shit

————————

Jirou, Uraraka, or Sero: assign me more work, will you? Well, watch me down my third Monster Energy of the day, heha. *shaking* that’ll show ‘em. Caffeine runs through my veins! What runs through yours? Fuckin’,, oxygen? Blood? Weakling. Get on my level

—————————

Izuku: okay, I lie to myself often, but this??? This was a betrayal

(If you’re wondering, I thought I had three more pages to read, not four)

[theywillcower]

can we get a more *d e t a i l e d* answer of what happens after cypher seees u in just a sweater & thigh highs 👀 ( gender neutral reader ) thank you so much love your work! :)

I have ascended to a new form of horny

Warnings: NSFW, biting

All Eyes (Cypher x Reader NSFW)

It was never quiet in his workshop, though he guessed it was quieter than it would be in Raze's, and even Breach's. Viper probably had the quietest, by virtue of the simplicity of her tech. Cypher glances up at the monitors above him just for a sec, to see if anyone was coming this way. He had his mask off, just for a little bit, to breathe easier. Hey, he couldn't keep it on all day. He had to eat at least. Besides, this way he could get a sharper look at the screens.

Nobody except them knew that he had this hookup. Nobody else needed to.

He pushes in his chair over to the desk, where a mug of coffee they brought to him sits. With just a dash of hazelnut syrup and cinnamon, it was exactly his order. They'd gotten to know him so well, Cypher thinks fondly, pushing back over to take a sip while looking at the monitors.

After only a second however he spits out the whole mouthful.

Well. They did know him didn't he?

He'd never quite been so pleased that the cameras had such high definition. One foot in front of the other, careful, to make sure that the sweatshirt barely grazing the tops of their thighs, did not ride up and show underwear. No... that was for him. Those tiny spaces of bare skin, in between those thigh highs deliciously highlighting every contour and squish of their legs... so innocent. They had probably thrown that on because they were tired, so late. They'd been together not long, and had seen (or felt) each other naked-- they'd even seen glances of his face. And yet there's something even better about those incidental spots of skin, begging to be marked. His cock strains against his pants at the thought.

He glances at their location, the Western Southbound hall. It was late. Probably everyone was asleep, except him. And them.

A mischievous smile stretches his face.

Perhaps he could meet them halfway.

-

How late was it, exactly? They yawn, rubbing their hand against their eyelids. The coffee cup in their hands was actually peppermint tea, a blend Sova had recommended. Sasha, unlike Cypher, sweet rose, Aamir, my lovely prince, did not have pure caffeine running through his veins. He was in his lab, they knew, and likely would be for a few more hours before collapsing into bed beside them for a few hours sleep.

They had wanted to be comfy. It wasn't chilly per se, but it wasn't warm. Perfect blend, feeling cute. Theyd had to take one of Cypher's--

"Well now."

They blink, looking up. The masked man of mystery stands before them, snaking his arms around their waist. They laugh, their own arms going around his neck.

"Hello handsome. Going to bed early?"

"No, actually. I was looking through the cameras... you know, looking for midnight intruders... when I saw something out of the ordinary." One hand snakes down to their butt, squeezing and making them gasp. They can hear the smirk in his laugh.

"This pretty little thing, out for the taking."

They swallow. Their mind races to think of something to stop the blush in their cheeks.. "But I'm not."

"Oh?" He sounds surprised.

"Because I'm yours."

There's a pause. The laugh he lets out is downright sinful. Gripping tighter, pressing them back against the wall. "Now THATS what I like to hear, little rose." He leans in, warm breath coming out even through the mask, and making them shiver. "Im going to make you BLOSSOM."

"H-here?" They glance to the side, but.... the doors are closed..?

"I sealed it off. I don't just have access to the cameras, you know." The scratch of stubble on their neck, he's pulled his mask up. Their eyes widen.

"B-but--"

"Dont worry. They'll see nothing. But I will see everything." Under the hem of their sweater go his hands, grabbing and lifting them up like a featherweight. Lips press hungrily against their neck, nipping, kissing, making them whine.

"R-R--"

"Aamir tonight. I want to remind you who your prince is."

They can't help but roll their eyes. "Sure."

"Dont give me attitude. You want me to stop?"

Their stomach sinks. "No..."

"That's what I thought." Before they can give any more snark, he kisses them, their head almost banging against the wall. They whimper as he lets one leg down, pulling off one glove with his teeth and beginning to tease their entrance. A loud whine escapes their lips, only for them to clap their hands over their mouth. Cypher only chuckles.

'"These halls are soundproof. We might have to be quick--" he gently presses a finger in, making them gasp, "But you can be as loud as you like."

"A-Aamir..."

"Mmm..." his mouth makes its way to their collarbone, pulling the sweater aside so he can reach it. "You sound SO delicious when you're nervous. I can tell."

"Y-yeah, because youre-- ah! About to screw me in a hallway," they push back, as he inserts another finger, slowly scissoring them open. "And--"

"Im hurt." His voice certainly betrays a sense of teasing, as he unzips his pants. "You don't think that I can cover everything? No one else will hear you. You're mine," Cypher growls, and they choke as his cock slowly slides in, the stretch slightly painful and all too satisfying. "And no one else gets to see what you look like fucked out."

A choked sob is practically gifted to him as he slowly thrusts in and out, pressing them up against the wall. The thigh highs have gradually moved down their thighs, where he grips on one sure to leave bruises. Deep, quick thrusts chasing each of their highs, Cypher's face perpetually buried in the crook of their neck. When he hit a certain spot deep in them, they let out a cry and looked back up at the wall. They caught sight of the camera, blinking red, and immediately turned away.

"No no, sweetheart. Smile for the camera." One hand turns their chin to the camera again, licking at the bruises he'd formed on their neck. "Im going to remember this. Just how--" he grunts, thrusting deeper, "Fucking INNOCENT you looked... did you think you could get away with it, darling rose? Flaunting your pretty little legs like that, no pants, practically begging someone to bend you over and fuck you silly." To prove his point he quickly pulled out, moved them so their hands were braced against the wall, and thrusted back in, burying himself to the hilt in one stroke. They scream at the movement, as he regains a ruthless pace, kissing at their neck and panting in their ear, voice but a hiss,

"No. Tell me who that pretty little hole belongs to, hm?"

"You," they choke, one of Cypher's fingers reaching into their mouth. He hums, a particularly deep thrust having his cock hit their sweet spot.

"Again."

"You. You."

"Use your names, pretty one..."

"Im yours, Aamir, y-yours!"

With the last word he grunts, forcing himself as deep as possible and letting them feel him. Spurts of hot cum floods them, dripping out around his cock still in them. As he pulls out, they shake, whining as he gently fingers his cum back in them, zipping himself back up.

"Youve made a mess, pretty rose. Come here."

Like a rag doll they let him scoop them up, snuggling against his chest. His lips press against their forehead, a strangely soft gesture given the bruises on their thighs in his fingerprints and the cum soaking their underwear, dripping down into the top of the thigh highs they had put on so innocently before.

"We both need some rest, yes?"

They hum in agreement, but they freeze. "T-the cameras--"

"I have access in our apartment. Don't worry." Another kiss. They roll their eyes.

"So this was recorded?"

"Of course. To watch back and critique our form."

They swat at him as the doors hiss open.

"Fuck you."

"Just did."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

[valdangelodumbasses]

Valdangelo Headcannons #1

Leo and Nico are both introverts but Nico loves affection

Leo made Nico tiramisu once and he swallowed it faster than Percy could ever

Leo couldn't look him in the eyes for a week or he got so flustered

Nico is lawyer bf 

and a demon at monopoly; him playing w/ Annie is the worst.

gamers! both like monster (specifically mango loco) but Nico also loves tropical redbull

Nico teaches Leo and hazel how to play so they can battle 2v2

Nico wipes the floor and Leo is just glad he understands half the rules

Nico and Leo wear heels. 

and they're good at it too.

Confident Nico>>>>>>  

Leo has a fucking heart attack when Nico pins him to a wall

Leo makes Nico laugh with his jokes and shitty pickup lines

but when Uses shitty pickup lines on him he steals them, after he stops looking like a tomato

Nico does Cosplay and they cosplay together and its so fucking rad

making out while baking/cooking? more likely than u think

Leo tells Nico he looks cute one day b4 they started dating and Nico is like: Is this friendly affection

Caffeine addicts rise up

but Nico hates coffee and honestly same

teas n energy drinks>>> 

Leo is a fucking swine who mixes all his foods and Nico nearly vomits bc he wont let his food even touch goddamit

Piper and Hazel being wingman while Percy and Jason are the matchmakers

p r a n k s

like so goddam many

they are unstoppable and they pin it on the Stolls

or Leo gets caught

Nico n e v e r does bc like? scary emo kid? prankster? nah, NAh,

he sticks his tongue out at leo anytime leo gets caught

bisexual leo or gay leo? leo doesn't even know!

all he knows is that nicos hot and has a cute butt & personality

nico is a theater gay

he sings every musical

his favorites are Heathers, Beetle juice, Legally blond, and the greatest showman

Leo has theater kid energy but probably works the tech stuff

he likes heathers, Chicago, legally blond, Grease, and dear evan Hansen the best

Hamilton is neither of their favorites yet they end up dueting it all the time

Art kid and Repair kid>>>>>>>>>>>>

Percy sees them kiss after dating (and kissing) for 6 months and wait yall are friends?

Hes slow but he means well, Nico sticks his tongue in leo's mouth after percy says that

he's like  “O H , sorry im dumb”

“jackpot” “Valdez shush”

they talk abt their moms

angsty emo boys listen to greenday

and every other emo band

Leo calls Nico mammacita once

never again (Nico started crying)

why? It was commonplace used by his uncles and grandpa

Nico demands leo call him that more though

Leo is Hesitant but obliges

mexican or italian food restaurant arguments

leo steals nicos breadsticks even tho he has some

nico steals leo's nachos when he has his own

they're petty? yes but petty and in love!

and gay/ did i mention g a y 

Demiboy leo rights

leos a fuckin lefty

Trans Nico rights mtf or ftm rights

nico may not be trans but he's also demiboy

demi boys calling each other they all day because nobody uses the they in he/they (speaking as a demigirl)

If nico IS trans tho hades 100% uses magic to transition Nico bc yes good dad

laughing abt trauma and they're friends are like: NO

memes

“get ur hands off my bf”

“kick their ass baby i got cho flower”

imagine, just imagine nico fussing over leos hair because curly is the cutest

leo fusses over nicos when he's in a slump and brushes his hair

skincare is vital to both

Leo does engineering n shit but does it for like 16 hours straight much to everyone's dismay, but Nico who has (arguably) fresh eyes and make sure his physics is right

Nico loves physics fight me

but nico sleeps like 4 times a week for 3 hours or 3 days a week for 12 hours

Insomnia gang don’t rise up go to fuckin sleep 

will keeps giving them melatonin and they always forget to take ti and will is going to fuckin murder them maybe then they'll sleep

u know that comic where they naruto kiss S P I D E R M A N  K I S S I E S

nico hangs like a bat and leo is a memelord

nico also loves spider man

they def try to make spider man gear but annie smashes the shit out of it

dorks! comic!

omg comic book shop au nico owns it

soulmate au where u loose shit n it goes to ur soulmate

nico has NO clue what the hell to do with all this nails n hammers n shit

Leo builds stuff out of nicos lost mytho dupes 

Leo doesnt know what to do with his underwear, or all the mcdonalds receipts and the crumpled up sketches and sketch books

anyway

aphrodite ships it as she SHOULD and hades n heppy do too

why did i cal hephaestus heppy ? idk maybe aphrodite calls him that

They both hate yoga with a passion

does nico have an obsession with spn or does he hate it sm that he watches it ?

its as ambiguous as leo's sexuality!

Leos like what if i'm straight

then nico walks in 

No he's definitely not straight

who even heard of greeks being straight smh

Nico in miniskirts, aline, or any skirt makes leo go brrrrrrr

he wears leggings or tights under them though

Nico also wears leggins to bed

or the fluffy pants he steals from leo so leo doesn't have any pants

“IM FEELINGS DEVIOUS AND LOOKING GLAMORUS-”

band band band band band band band band band  Nico can sing and leo plays drums

Nico and katie are friends and Nico has a green thumb so leo is surprised when nico has more houseplants than crowley (Good omens)

He has tons of hanging and not hanging terrariums

Leo tries not to set them on fire

After Leo and Nico start hanging out more Nico bribes Lou Ellen to make his plants fire proof

they are now

Nico knows how to fire a gun and he's good at it

Pirate Nico!! 

Leo and Hades get along well

So does Nico and heppy

the parents get along too but they diss heras bad mothering

Nico gets de aged and leo is ???? but he's so CUTE AND TINY

Leo babysits him for a week in the bunker and nobody even knows until Percy and Will goes in there looking for him

Nico and Clarisse sparing? Sweaty bf? Leo loves it and chris and leo are just staring and say “yes”

Nico has freckles and leo kisses each one

Leo has these really dark freckles spread across his body but they aren't as frequent as freckles?? y'all know what i mean? ne way nico kisses them

Leo uses Yall. 

It rubs off on nico

jason is a die hard anti y’all

they annoy the shit out of him

Cuddles

nico and leo having bakeoffs

Nico asking piper for advice but editing it so its not super obvious its leo

She figures it out and tells leo like any good bff

nico promptly leaves camp when leo busts in asking if he has a crush on him

hades laughs but understands

leo sulks back to piper and percy is there and Percy got no chill

so he goes down there

Hades ain't too happy w that but Nico just gets so embarrassed and goes back with him

Hephaestus and aphro watching this go down like a romcom

I'm getting tired so im going to stop here anyway stan valdangelo for clear skin

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

ch-ch-changes

joke from ig   t only knows 1 joke  - wait - 3 actually - but only 1 that he tells well enuff to b funny  

q   how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb 

a    1  but it takes a long time - and the light bulb has to want to change 

(insert laffter )

so new joke 

q    how many philosophers duz it take to change a light bulb ?

philosopher          what do you mean by change ? 

and believe it or not - a nutshell synopsis of my life connection lately - duz u believe in synchronicity  - wait t - i think we jest cross the line by more than one toke and u aint smokin - from bad comedy - to awful not even - poetry guessing - and all things considered- an excellent morning like bill and ted’s adventure - if not fresh to deth like snoop it aint showtime - yet  -  gotta stay together imma here and now the speeker ( how many more x u gonna do that tired zen thing - only 1 but infinitely - and most ppl quit reedin at least a couple lines ago lol it happens its ok - old ppl tendz to repeat themselves and pls dont 4get the lazy ) but imma feel like guitar maybe  - wait is this some kinda philosophy actually more jungian  - no t dont venture  - run dont walk away renee a 2fer into those uncharted awmost rote enchanted waters muddy af now we got a playlist and havent even picked up guitar yet - order of operations t - calm - u gulped caffeine and nowadaze it affects u - fukkity fuk oh well im laffing - im ok just maybe too aware thats all or as my acupuncture  say “you got a lot going on “ and technically she dont know wat the 1/2 is but an eye lock and in terms of feelz no secrets locks off for a second  - u gotta trust someone sticking u w painful needles and some points - if blocked - r always painful - sometimes just once more than bare emotion pain i tap out - a fresh needle - and- its over im sorry - we move on but fukkkk  - and many i dont feel or barely - did u know im scared of needles - really - prolly - the only reason i lived thru the 80s - i tell her thinking good information - uh did we digress or wat 

anyway a joke 

funny and not really mean to anyone but imaginary philosophers - oh yah i was gonna write something about the cruelty of comedy - how gawd or goddess iz not a comedian but a trickster sometimes maybe but we - r human and our idea is flawed at best past the conception of love and we get soooooooooo fucked up on that subject sometimes - or iz that just me  - asking for a frend in need - now im jest being funny like a trixter method actor and again at wurst self efface and u know idgaf about a lot of things - and 

( ed hear - damn it contagious awmost included - any way - in everybodies best interest - t has left the building w the ghost of elvis on the astral plane with richman - should i have a contest for who gets the most references without a playlist - wait t stfu the joke pome whatever is ended i tell u - but wait theres more t calling picasso an .....) 

[hotchley]

Hi, it is i, bumblebee anon🥳✨

If you want to I’ll gladly tell u abt my hotchniss headcanons:) I think abt them way too much anyways. I’ve told one or two people about them but never rly put it on the internet cuz I’m quite nervous about what some people would say, I’ve gotten hate for shipping hotchniss before lmao so that wasn’t so nice, but ye

I kind of actually need to be sleeping rn bc I don’t get enough sleep anyway so I’ll just tell you the basic outline of them! If you wanna hear more just tell me and I’ll write you an essay on them!🥰

I’ve got like two main ones:

The first one is about young hotchniss, but less just about the feelings but about the ✨plot✨bc ems best friend had a camera and filmed literally anything that got in her way so she basically has on cam how em and aaron fell in love 👍👍 and I have all these headcanon abt what happens in some of the videos or what you see in the photos and ye🤗 additions would be their friend also making/filming their wedding video and/or the friend passing the legacy of the camera on to ems and aarona daughter: cue the chaos that ensues when a toddler gets a camera. Naturally, all the videos and pictures taken by their daughter are a lot more random and funnier. the team somehow finding all the videos and pictures and finding out about hotchniss that way

The second one is basically just: em and aaron have two children (don’t rly have names for them yet but I’ve been calling the boy jack even tho it feels wrong idk). It’s 2020, corona just began and their daughter and son come home from their respective colleges. Chaos ensues when they make a tiktok acc (and kind of go viral??) oh and aaron is retired and constantly doing stuff in the garden and Emily is unit chief and dealing well with the working from home thing. Just imagine the possibilities for the tiktoks, “things in our home with FBI agents that make perfectly sense: *thousands of alarms* *bullet proof glass* *weapons stored everywhere* *fbi mugs* *talking abt murder at dinner*”. Oh and I actually have one of the tiktoks written out lol wait let me find it. Here is it.

They do that „1 day in the life of an FBI agent“ thing and jack asks Emily when she usually wakes up so he can wake up at that time too. So they’re both in the kitchen at six and Emily makes herself a coffee but doesn’t want jack to drink one even though he’s fucking tired. And what you see in the tiktok is jack asking „mom why do you not want me to drink coffee at six in the morning again and why do u get to drink one“ Emily just continues her task without looking at him or the camera „well first of all I haven’t slept and second of all ur still so young I don’t want you to have a caffeine addicted“ jack raises an eyebrow „so you weren’t caffeine addicted when you were my age??“ „oh jack when I was your age I was addicted to stuff you don’t even wanna hear of“ „for example?“ she turns to face jack and with a deadpan face says „your dad?“

YE THATS IT TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IM GOING TO SLEEP NOW GN ILY<33

~ 🐝

I'm putting everything below the keep reading, for easy scrolling x

You can always tell me about them!

Aww don't be nervous :((

Ugh, the ship hate really irritates me, if you don't like a ship, just leave it. Don't worry though. The only ship slander I will ever commit is shipping someone with their abuser, or Reid/Rossi and Reid/Gideon because... why?

(Also if someone wants to send you hate, they can fight me. /hj)

Yes! Sleep!! It's important!!

Oh my god, I love that. She's one of those friends that just KNOWS when two people are meant to be together, so even though Aaron and Emily are like: nooo, she's like: yesss!!

But then everything happens and she's like: oh... but then!! They find their way back to each other, and Emily never lets Aaron feel guilty for still loving Haley- because let's be honest, everyone is a little bit in love with Haley, and they're just perfect once more.

YES!! They have a daughter named Meredith Haley Hotchner-Prentiss because I say so, and the camera gets passed down to her, and although the photos are from the most random angles, and usually not very good, they mean everything to the parents and end up everywhere.

(I like to think Hotch gets one framed before him and Emily move in together/make their relationship public) and the team find out when they come round and Jack is like: look at my favourite photo!!

OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT SECOND ONE!!

I mean, I've already said I would want their daughter to be called Meredith Haley, but for a son... maybe Derek Jason? After his godfather and the man that was a mentor to his father for a few years?

I love the idea of them making TikToks! They would walk into Emily's meetings, and she would look so stressed and done with the job, then they would head out into the garden and Hotch would be like: look at my tulips!!

PFFT!! YOUR DAD!! Jack just lets out a groan, and leaves because they're both so embarrassing

I LOVED ALL OF THIS!!

AND YES! SLEEP!

[antiadvil]

Somebody to Love

summary: Dan and Phil’s first meeting in 2009, loosely inspired by the song Somebody to Love by Queen

rating: PG13

wc: ~3k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! art provided by @anironsidh and betad by @awkwardest-sam. writing this fic was... a journey, and they were a really great and supportive team the whole time and I really appreciate them <3

read under the cut or on ao3

Dan’s train was running late, and he couldn’t stop his anxiety from running absolutely wild. He hadn’t missed it, had he? Maybe it had showed up early and left before he got there. Maybe it had showed up while he wasn’t paying attention and left already. Maybe it had-

The train pulled into the station. Dan relaxed his shoulders. He wasn’t going to miss his train. He managed to stay calm for a few minutes after he boarded until a sudden new thought hit him.

What if he missed his stop?

He groaned, letting his head drop into his arms. He couldn’t even get a ten minute break from his ridiculous thoughts.

He took a deep breath, trying to focus on something else. To try to distract himself, he pulled out his pen and notebook to work on a few video scripts.

He had finally gotten into a groove, allowing himself to forget his worries, when the train lurched as it approached its first stop, sending Dan’s pen and notebook spilling to the floor. He picked up the notebook, but his pen had already slid out of sight.

Great. Looks like he was going to have to find some other way of passing the remaining two and a half hours of his train ride.

He stared out the window, trying to calm his nerves, but his leg was bouncing up and down almost uncontrollably. He put his hand on his knee, forcing it down.

It was hard to believe that after months of nonstop texting and skyping, he was about to meet the boy from his computer screen in person. He still remembered the first time they had spoken, when he had finally gotten up the courage to message that cool youtuber on twitter.

He had sent him a message about a Queen song, and was shocked to receive a reply. He still was a little bit shocked every time Phil messaged him. Every time, he thought Phil would get tired of him. Every time, Phil kept coming back.

They had talked about their favorite band for hours that night. Then the conversation had shifted to themselves, their families, their hopes and dreams.

They still talked about music sometimes. It was a nice excuse to be in constant contact.

His fingers itched to text Phil, the way they always did when he was anxious, but he and Phil had been trying to stick to Skype lately. Last month’s phone bill had not been fun to pay. He shouldn’t text Phil until he arrived, to tell him where he was so they could meet.

His leg was bouncing again. He sighed in frustration, wishing he hadn’t lost his pen.

He bought a magazine to flip through. It was surprisingly entertaining. He managed to lose himself in it for nearly half an hour before he checked the time again.

Fuck the phone bill. Dan gave in and pulled out his phone. nervous (^_^;), he sent.

good, Phil sent back nearly instantly.

good?

im nervous too and im not allowed to be the only one

Dan laughed. His phone buzzed again

in a few hours we can be nervous 2gether

Dan couldn’t think of anything to send in response to that other than a smiley face.

now go away u spork remember ur phone bill

Dan let a smile break across his face. Phil did that to him frequently. fine, Dan sent quickly.

He returned to his magazine, calmer this time. It was silly to be so worried. It was just Phil. Phil, who he had known for months now. Phil, who he wanted to meet. Phil, who wanted to meet him.

Everything was going to be alright.

When his train arrived in the station, Dan climbed out, letting his eyes search for Phil. Quickly, they landed on a tall, pale boy with dark hair wearing a green plaid shirt. “Phil!” he shouted.

The boy brightened, looking to find the source of the noise. “Dan!”

“Phil,” Dan said again, running towards him, and the other boy was running too, and suddenly they were in each other’s arms, finally, after all these months of imagining.

Phil was holding Dan tighter than he’d ever been held, but it didn’t hurt. It was one of the nicest things Dan had ever felt.

After what felt like an eternity, Phil pulled back. “How was the train ride?”

“Good,” Dan said, his smile so wide he thought his face might split in two. “How was your bus ride?”

“Someone recognized me,” Phil pouted.

Dan laughed. “You’re a proper celebrity now.”

“I don’t want to be a proper celebrity,” Phil whined.

“You’d be a good celebrity.”

“How is someone a good celebrity?”

Dan shrugged. “You’re cute.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Is that all?”

“Yes.” Dan giggled, though he hadn’t meant to. It was silly, he thought, a nineteen year old giggling over a boy.

Phil was smiling, too, though, and a bit of pink was showing through his pale skin on his cheeks, so he must not mind.

“Where to first?” Dan asked.

“Starbucks,” Phil said, bouncing up and down. “Starbucks, Dan, we have to-”

Dan laughed. “You’re such a sugar fiend.”

“C’mon!” Phil tugged at his hand.

Dan looked down at their hands in shock, surprised to find them tangled together.

“Sorry,” Phil said sheepishly, dropping Dan’s hand.

Dan wiped his hand on his jeans, then immediately cursed himself. He didn’t want Phil to think it was because of him, his hand was just sweaty. “No, you’re good- um.”

“Yeah. No. We’re in public, I should have-” Phil stuffed his hands into his pockets. “So, uh, Starbucks?”

“Starbucks,” Dan agreed, gesturing for Phil to lead the way.

“Right,” Phil said, heading down the street. Dan followed. “What are you planning to get?”

Dan shrugged. “Whatever you get. You’re the expert.”

“Well, I haven’t actually decided what I’m getting yet,” Phil explained.

“Oh really? What are the frontrunners?” Dan asked.

Phil spent the rest of their walk explaining his various drink options, each sugarier than the last. “So I think maybe the caramel macchiato. Maybe? I can’t decide.”

Dan interrupted before Phil could go through his list again from the beginning. “You should get the caramel macchiato.”

“You think so?”

“I think so,” Dan confirmed, opening the door to the starbucks.

Phil bought their coffees, over Dan’s protests. “You’re the one who came to visit me,” he said. “Let me do this for you.”

Dan gave in. “I’ll buy you coffee if you ever come to Reading.”

“Deal.” Phil took a long sip of his coffee and let out a long, relieved breath afterwards. “So good.”

“The caffeine or the sugar?”

“Yes,” Phil said.

Dan took a sip of his own drink. It was good. Maybe not as good as Phil thought it was, but good.

“I’m trying to cut back on coffee,” Phil said mournfully. “I only had three cups this morning.”

Dan snorted. “Only three?”

“Yes.” Phil stared glumly at his already half empty cup of coffee.

Dan shook his head in mock sympathy. “You poor thing.”

Phil finished his coffee with disturbing speed. Dan did his best to keep up, but to avoid burning his tongue, he had to finish about ten minutes after Phil.

Phil’s tongue must be nearly burned off from how quickly he had

Dan should stop thinking about Phil’s tongue.

“Where do you want to go now?” Phil asked, saving Dan’s mind from going to some places it really shouldn’t be going right now.

“Can we just walk around for a bit?” Dan asked.

“Sure!” Phil was bouncing on his toes, already ready to move.

Dan wondered if he was as thrumming with nervous energy as Dan was. “Lead the way, then.”

Phil knew his way through Manchester better than he let on, pointing out a few shops and landmarks he recognized along their walk. “There’s so much to do here. We’ll have to come back sometime.”

Dan absentmindedly agreed. It was nice, the thought that this would happen again. That he could come back. That Phil didn’t seem to hate him yet.

Dan almost missed the apple store when they walked past, but he saw it out of the corner of his eye and stopped. “Wait,” he said, “I want to post a selfie.”

“Ooh,” Phil said. “Good idea.” He opened the door and gestured for Dan to follow him.

They got lucky when they were immediately able to snag a free laptop. Phil opened photobooth and messed with his hair in the camera. Dan did his best to straighten out his hair, and struck a pose.

Phil put on a (ridiculous) facial expression and took a photo.

Dan stepped up to take a look. “Wait,” he said, stepping back. “My hair looks wrong. Can we retake it?”

Phil rolled his eyes, but stepped back into his pose to take a new picture.

About 20 pictures later, they had finally taken one Dan was satisfied with. He logged into his dailybooth account quickly, doing his best to ignore the line of people growing behind him.

“There,” he said, pressing post and logging out of his account.

He did his best not to make eye contact with anyone in the line behind them as they left the apple store.

They found a bench in a nearby park and spent the next few hours people watching, making up stories about the people they saw.

“She’s in an unhappy marriage,” Dan whispered. “She’s having an affair with him.” He pointed to the man across the playground from her, where her daughter was playing.

Phil took a bite of the sandwich he had bought from a nearby cafe. “Does her daughter know?”

“Of course not, Phil. She’s like, five.”

“Just hoping for maximum drama,” Phil said around another mouthful of sandwich.

Dan grimaced. “Stop chewing with your mouth open. It’s gross.”

Phil swallowed. “Your mum’s gross.”

Dan hit Phil on the back. “Take that back.”

“You first.”

“No.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” Phil looked almost sad.

Dan snorted. “Let’s disagree to disagree.”

“How does that work?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t put much thought into it yet.”

Phil laughed, taking the last bite out of his sandwich and brushing a few crumbs out of his lap.

Dan checked the time. “Is there anything else you want to do before we go back to your place?”

“Well,” Phil said. “I, uh. Have a reservation for after dinner.”

“A reservation?” Dan looked down at his clothes. He hoped it wasn’t too nice.

“The sky bar,” Phil said. “I don’t know if you know it, I’m sorry, I-”

Phil looked so anxious. “No,” Dan said, doing his best to sound reassuring. “It’s fine, just… unexpected.”

Phil smiled in relief. “We should get going if we’re going to make it on time.”

When they got to the sky bar, Dan looked at the menu and tried not to panic at the prices.

“I’ll pay,” Phil said quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”

That only made things slightly better.

Phil must have noticed that the worry didn’t fall from his face, because he tried to reassure Dan again. “Really, it’s fine. Get whatever you want.”

Dan nodded, but he scanned the menu for the cheapest items and ordered those anyway. Phil had just graduated uni; he wasn’t exactly rolling in money, and Dan didn’t want to feel like any more of a burden on him than he already did.

It didn’t matter. His drink tasted incredible.

“Is it alright?” Phil asked, still anxious.

“It’s perfect,” Dan said. It was. The sun was beginning to set, and the view from this high up was beautiful. The view next to him was even prettier.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring out the windows and watching the sun bathe everything in a warm, golden glow.

Dan reached for Phil’s hand under the table. Phil reached back.

***

It was dark when they boarded the bus back to Rossendale. The bus was nearly empty, but they chose two seats in the back, as far away from everyone else as possible.

“Busses are weird.” Dan yawned.

Phil giggled. “It’s not even late. Are you tired?”

Dan glared. “Shut up.”

Phil stuck out his tongue. “Make me.”

Dan hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Shut up,” he managed to squeak out.

Phil sat back in his seat, smiling in satisfaction.

“Shut up,” Dan whined, poking him.

“You sound like a broken record. Do you say anything other than shut up?”

“Shut-” Dan stopped. “Yes,” he insisted.

Phil smirked. “Prove it.”

“I’ve said so many things other than shut up today.”

Phil shrugged. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Dan leaned back into his seat, trying to project confidence.

Phil shrugged again. “I believe you,” he said, with the air of someone who absolutely did not believe the person they were talking to.

Dan sighed, and changed the subject. “How long is the ride?”

“About half an hour, hopefully,” Phil said.

His train ride had been much longer than that. He could survive this. Especially with Phil with him.

“I met a boy on the train once, you know,” Phil said, startling Dan out of his thoughts.

Dan looked up, slightly confused. Why was Phil telling him about some other boy? “You did?”

“Yeah,” Phil laughed. “He was really cute, too. We spent the whole train ride talking, and it turned out he actually lived really close by. This was when I was in uni. But anyway, at the end, he asked me for my number, so I gave it to him, and then-” Phil paused to hide his face.

“Then what?” Dan asked, perplexed.

“I texted him,” Phil said, muffled.

“What’d you say?”

“I asked him if he was asking me out,” Phil said, still with his face hidden in his arms.

“Was he?” Dan asked, though he suspected the answer by now.

“No,” Phil whined, lifting his head up. “He wasn’t. He was straight.”

Dan couldn’t help a horrified giggle.

“It’s not funny,” Phil said, though a smile was starting to peek through his carefully composed sulk.

Dan wanted to stop laughing, he really did, but he just couldn’t. His giggle grew until it was the dumb hyena laugh he always felt self-conscious of, but with Phil sitting next to him, he didn’t mind.

Phil was starting to laugh a little bit too. He buried his head in Dan’s shoulder to hide it. “You’re the worst.” He landed a half-hearted punch on Dan’s ribs.

Dan just laughed harder. “That’s awful, oh my god.”

“So stop laughing!” Phil whined.

Dan finally managed to quiet his laugh. “It’s a good thing, though, really. Because now you have me instead of stupid bus boy.”

“You’re so much better than stupid bus boy,” Phil whispered, reaching for Dan’s hand to give it a quick, reassuring squeeze.

The warmth of his hands lingered even after they were gone.

***

Phil’s house was dark and quiet when they finally arrived. Dan didn’t know what else he had expected. Phil’s parents weren’t home; that was the whole reason he was visiting right now.

Dan declined politely when Phil asked if he wanted a full house tour, instead choosing to dump his backpack on Phil’s bedroom floor without asking first. He thought, halfway through doing it, that maybe he should have checked first, but Phil didn’t seem to mind, so he just left it.

Phil’s bedroom looked different than it did on Skype. Less grainy.

Phil dropped himself onto his bed, gesturing for Dan to follow him. “Wanna play some music?”

“Sure,” Dan said, sitting down next to Phil. “Queen, probably, it’s the least we can do to thank them for bringing us together.”

Phil laughed. “Not because they’re good?”

“No. Just because gay.”

“Freddie Mercury would be proud,” Phil said.

“He probably would be,” Dan admitted.

“What song?”

Dan thought about it a bit, chewing at the inside of his lip. “Somebody To Love,” he finally said.

Phil grinned. “Excellent choice.”

“Thank you,” Dan said, basking in the glow of Phil’s approval as the piano started playing. “I can play this on piano, you know.”

“You can?”

“Yeah. I can play most Queen songs.”

Phil tilted his head. “You’ll have to show me sometime.”

“But you don’t have a keyboard.”

Phil tilted his head. “Guess I’ll have to visit you sometime.”

Dan couldn’t help the nervous thrill that ran through his stomach. “A shame, really. You have no other option.”

“I’ll survive.”

Dan hummed along to the chorus.

Phil poked him. “Just humming? Coward.”

Dan startled. “What?”

“I want to hear you sing.” Phil’s eyes were twinkling with the slightest bit of mischief.

“No. Absolutely not.” Dan crossed his arms.

“Fine,” Phil said. “I guess I’m going to have to sing myself.”

“That’s almost worse,” Dan said.

Phil pouted. “I’m a great singer.”

“I’m sure.”

Phil began to sing along, his voice warbling.

“Shush,” Dan said. “I want to hear Freddie Mercury.”

Phil sighed, but switched to dramatically lip syncing instead.

“Much better,” Dan said, trying to control his facial expression so Phil couldn’t tell that he was being a little bit cute right now.

Phil’s performance was so over the top it was honestly funny, until he reached the end of the song. He sang along, softly this time, looking directly at Dan in a way that gave him goosebumps.

Dan couldn’t help but look away.

“How was my performance?” Phil asked.

“It was alright,” Dan said, leaning back on his elbows.

“Oh yeah?”

Dan sat back up. “Not too relatable, though.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve already found somebody to love,” Dan said, smiling at Phil.

“Really,” Phil said, teasing. “Who?”

Dan felt his cheeks warm. “You probably don’t know him. He goes to a different school,” he managed.

Phil laughed. “I like you too.”

Dan didn’t think it was even possible for his cheeks to be any warmer. “I guess you’re kind of cool too.”

“Shut up,” Phil said, pulling Dan closer.

“Make me,” Dan said.

“Okay,” Phil said, promptly kissing him.

Dan shut up for quite a while after that.

[wetslug]

idk about other people but for me coffee downstairs have absolutely any effect. or none that I notice anyways. I do feel the diarrhea coming within the first ~30min as you mention, but the caffeine just never hits me. if anything, after drinking coffee (or energy drinks, the few times I've drank some) it makes me feel sleepy.

like if I'm drinking coffee I'm usually eating something sweet too and maybe, maybe, sometimes I feel a bit hyper afterwards but it's more of a sugar high than a caffeine rush as far as I can tell. bc if I'm drinking coffee w/o large amounts of sugar I just get a stomachache and then tired and sleepy withing the half hour to hour and a half maybe. and the few times I've drank energy drinks (like redbull monster and the like) I've legit felt no effect, just a bloated stomach bc of the fizzyness of the drink that I'm not used to and within the :20m-1h I'll start getting tired and sleepy and I usually end up napping it off. or like... laying in bed/a flat surface w my phone not moving for a few hours

i feel like that happens after an extended period of consistent caffeine intake? idk sometimes it makes me tired but not a good kind of tired, like im tired but also on fire. anon u might just have a very strong nervous system

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X11 Commentary

I’M AN ASSHOLE THAT FORGOT I STILL HAD THIS EPISODE TO FINISH LOL.

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​​​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Giulia: lol that tapping tho

 Zee: The hissing again

Giulia: Didn t need the hiss

Nat: All good thing must come to an end

Nat: Ew

Giulia: This song tho

Nat: "Big Sam left Seattle"

Zee: He’s too mousy

Giulia: DADDY

Zee: Oh the snacc

Zee: Tf?

Nat: Ah

Giulia: AAAH JEEZ

Nat: Yum

Giulia: he had to have that deep voice. Damn

Nat: Who dat

Zee: Of course

Giulia: Yummy

Giulia: I hope the Winchester won’t kill him

Giulia: Wow

Zee: Ouch

Zee: Welcome

Giulia: MY BABY

Nat: Ah the other daddy

Giulia: LOVE HIM

Zee: When did his voice get so deep?

Nat: snorts, they really went right

Giulia: WHY DIDN T THEY USE THE PHONE

Zee: Silent mode

Nat: SILENT MODE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION.   I AGREE

Giulia: what a dad

Zee: Old school bitches

Nat: That smolder

Giulia: Change your diet

Zee: Damn. Does he really sound that deep?

Giulia: Jensen doesn t

Nat: Jensen doesn't but he does have a loud voice

Giulia: Compensating for last time’s kick

Giulia: HEWWO

Giulia: Agent Watts

Nat: Working a Case in Alaska

Giulia: Lizzo

Nat: I'm too old for this shit

 Zee: Jack

Giulia: AAAAAH BB

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AWE BABE

Nat: BABY

Giulia: AWE

Giulia: DON T

Giulia: MY HEART

 Giulia: THAT FUCKING UGH

Giulia: WOW

 Nat: LOL

Zee: Stop shouting y’all

Nat: WE'RE ON A BUDGET

Giulia: wow

Nat: Two forks

Nat: awe

 Zee: Awe poor babies

Giulia: Snort he’s lactose intolerant 

Nat: I feel you Dean

Zee: Nuts is good

Giulia: Nuts is good

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: NUTS IS GOOD

Zee: He should shut his face

Giulia: Yeah you are

Giulia: THAT POUT

Nat: Sort of an accident. Yeah

Giulia: DEAN CONTROL YOUR FACE

Giulia: sounds like a job for them

 Nat: OH NO

Giulia: OH UH

Zee: He’s so done

Giulia: aaah not ready for cas reaction

Nat: CAS IS DONE

Giulia: AAAAH

Zee: I mean you can stab him but not baby

Zee: Oh shit

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AW JACK

Nat: NO

Giulia: I DON T UNDERSTAND

Nat: WHY

Giulia: oh ok

Zee: A heart?

Nat: NO

Nat: JACK BB

Giulia: Lol those bar are always the same tho

Zee: Tf is that coin ?

Nat: Winchesters are broke

Zee: Two waters

Giulia: Waters

Nat: Two waters

Nat: PAX

Zee: Pax

Giulia: PAX

Nat: PAX THE SNAXX

Giulia: TO THE MAXX

Giulia: look at him

Nat: so deep

Zee: What she said

Giulia: He’s getting me distracted

Nat: touch it

Zee: Touch it

 Giulia: TOUCH IT

Nat: i'd love to

Giulia: don t mind if I do

Giulia: Average

Zee: Control your fucking lips

Nat: lol of course "keep playing"

Zee: Is this the deep voice ep?

Nat: It's probably a criteria to be cast

Giulia: Can he stop with his hands

Nat: I know

Giulia: When he was 4

Nat: Swinging clubs before you were born snorts

Zee: Between naps and snacks

Giulia: The triangle right

Nat: you saw it too. THANK GOD

Giulia: of course. 

My eyes went : ZOOOOOM

still me: 

Nat: I swear it was on purpose

Giulia: He’s so strong

Giulia: Oh

Zee: I think I miss important

Nat: What

Nat: that fucking smolder

Nat: stop your lips

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: fuck off

Giulia: What she doesn’t say

 Nat: oh oh

Giulia: I DON T LIKE IT

Zee: Lots of hands close-ups, I ain’t complaining

Giulia: ah

Giulia: Sam

Nat: Bundles of eggs?

Giulia: Witch hex bags

Giulia: IT’S REALLY NOT

Nat: ah

Zee: Does she really not know ?

Nat: OH, she knows

Giulia: Where is the snac

Zee: should have walked away

Zee: There’s one

Nat: What

Giulia: Ah

Giulia: MY OTHER BABY

Giulia: MURDER BABY

Nat: Wha does Jack want

Giulia: hearts

Zee: But why?

Nat: I'm on a roll

Zee: Sucks you in

Giulia: What he said

Nat: OnE mORe GamE

Giulia: I heard Daddy out of dean’s mouth and im not ok

Zee: I’m dying here

Giulia: NICE

Nat: He's so full of himself

Giulia: KICK MY ASS TOO

Giulia: SO COCKY

 Zee: Smack is better

Giulia: NO KICK IT

Nat: oh no

Giulia: AWE

Zee: Rodeo

Giulia: are we spending this whole ep with jazz music and pool

Nat: Sam so proud

Zee: Hell of an ep

Giulia: Stop that tongue

Nat: Apparently not

Nat: OH shit

Nat: He ded

Zee: The crinkles

Zee: I’m dead

Giulia: Dean will be happy

Nat: Dean won't like this. He just involuntarily killed a man

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Great

Nat: shit

Giulia: Yup

Giulia: Awe Sam

Nat: Sam's always so righteous

Giulia: Well he actually doesn’t seem so bummed

Zee: Annoyingly so sometimes

Giulia: Baby treat me right

Giulia: AWE HE GOT IT RIGHT

Nat: No, because he's really set to beat Chuck

Giulia: yeah

Zee: Awe his face

Giulia: SNORT

Nat: Ah Cas showed his badge right?

Giulia: yeah

Nat: Did ya see?

Nat: He was holding it up the wrong way?

Giulia: .

Giulia: PAX

Nat: She's the one who played you, Dean!

Giulia: the fuck he is

Giulia: Dark castiel?

Zee: A what ?

Giulia: With that black trench coat

Zee: I want cas dressed like that

Giulia: He should have had the black trench. In the promo he was

Giulia: Ok but how is Jack alright now 

Nat: Billy got work for him

Zee: Hello

Giulia: HEY SNACC

Nat: See. It's her

Giulia: AWE SO YUMMY

 Nat: He's bulkier than Dean

Nat: I CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE SONS

Giulia: Can I be in that sandwich tho

Nat: A beach read?

Zee: Beach read

Giulia: Beach read

Giulia: Wow

Nat: YES YOU ARE BABY

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHAH

Nat: TOLSTOY

Giulia: TOLSTOY

Nat: Tell her

Giulia: don t touch sam

Giulia: OF COURSE SAM

Zee: Oh come on

Giulia: HEY STOP THAT

Zee: Thanks for the recap

Giulia: so tired of people hurting my innocent baby ok

Nat: Jack's not afraid because he knows that he's gonna come back

Giulia: Completely innocent

Giulia: U like children

Giulia: Yuck

Giulia: Kill him

Nat: YEAH you fucking pedo

Giulia: AAAAAH

Giulia: DAD

Nat: so billy sends Jack out to kill those

Giulia: NICE

Zee: Dad to the rescue

Giulia: I AM NOT PREPARED

Nat: That eyebrow

Zee: We could use some more light

Giulia: SOB

Nat: Sammy you got this

Giulia: He is so worried

Zee: So focused

Nat: Liver failure... and she looks at Dean lol

Giulia: Liver failure

Zee: THE god

Giulia: Little guy

Giulia: Squirrley as hell

Zee: Welcome to the club

Nat: When you apes climbed down from the trees... aw

Giulia: Thanks

Giulia: Oh this is actually interesting tho

Nat: Get her on board and then go against Chuck

Zee: She knows Chuck

Nat: I mean

Giulia: All the gods

Zee: And when you lose

Nat: Dean lol

Giulia: YAS SAM

Zee: Learnt from my brother

Giulia: No stop it

Nat: NO

Giulia: NO

Zee: There’s always a catch

Nat: DON'T

Giulia: STOP

Zee: They will say yes

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat: WHY DID KNOW THAT SAM WOULD SAY YES

Giulia: AWE SAM

Giulia: not to the Winchesters

Zee: 15 years

Nat: Ok, but now beat her alright

Giulia: SUCH HEROES

Nat: But like, she fucking lives in a pool hall. What are the odds

Giulia: I ‘m sick of this music and pool tho

Nat: Hate it

Nat: NO

Giulia: Of course

Nat: Are they gonna die

Zee: Fuck

Zee: They can’t yet

Giulia: Thanks

Nat: Ah right, still 9 episodes to go

Nat: Our luck will do that on its own

Giulia: Awe

Nat: Wait what

Zee: She let them out

Giulia: Sob

Zee: Our kind

Nat: Awe

Nat: She helps them

Zee: Make him play yours

Giulia: Make him play yours

Zee: Mojo back

Giulia: Awe are they back to normal

Nat: Awe

Zee: Yes

Nat: Good

Giulia: Dean stuffing his mouth with cheese

Nat: Scratcher

 Nat: lol

Zee: Porn

Giulia: Sob

 Giulia: What was that high note lol

Nat: Back to back double cheese burgers

Nat: Oh oh

Zee: Wait for it

Nat: Oh oh

Giulia: can t wait for jack

Nat: Oh Oh

Nat: OOOHHHHH

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: HEWWO

Nat: AAAAHHHHHH

Zee: So much hurt

Giulia: AAAAAAAAAAAH

Giulia: SAAAAM

Nat: I didn't think I would cry

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: NO

Giulia: STOP DEANP

Giulia: HE LOOKS AT CAS

Zee: Our son is back

Giulia: SOB

Zee: And you let him?

Nat: every day I wanted to come HOME

Giulia: awe Jack bb

Giulia: Grandfather

Nat: He's afraid of me.

Giulia: YES HE IS

Nat: JACK WILL BECOME THE NEW GOD

Giulia: OF COURSE

Giulia: but they just said that there can’t be no god

Zee: So it won’t be the Winchesters?

Nat: It's plausible that Jack will take over.

Nat: He's not God-god. He's Jack-god.

Nat: Ok, so promo then I need to leave

Giulia: UGH

Giulia: if don’t come I’m dead

Giulia: ...same

Giulia: Snort

Giulia: I need Jesus

Nat: What I say

Zee: March 16!

Zee: Hate it

Nat: Sob

Zee: It’s been established

Giulia: I just wish they could change the finale date

Zee: I mean why do they have to drag it like that?

Giulia: There are festivities or some shit idk

Giulia: The superbowl?

Giulia: Whatever

Zee: Oh that shit is on?

Zee: We have a month and a half to find a solution

Nat: There. He showed it the wrong way first?

Zee: Yeah he did

Zee: Lovely dork

Giulia: Ah shit I was writing here and look after he turned it around

Zee: Me too

Nat: Yes hi hello, this is Pax the Snaxx

Zee: Yes hi hello

Giulia: Fuck

Zee: I didn’t ask for this

Nat: Apparently, I don't care

Zee: Apparently you’re a bitch

Nat: Apparently, he's not been always a snaxx

Nat: Because

Nat: snorts

Giulia: Aaaaand it’s gone

Giulia: I love beards, my god

Zee: So fucking vanilla

Giulia: I can’t taste anything

Giulia: This tho?

....the flavour is amazing

Giulia: Yum

Zee: I can’t complain about this flavor either

Zee: Nat started chaos and now she’s sitting somewhere laughing like the evil bitch she is

Nat: No, like I've seen other pics of him and I will spare it for you. But like in the ep he's a damn fucking main course

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby​ or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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