#im tired all the damn time.
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not gonna lie i'm on day 11 of this "absolutely no fucking sugar i mean not even the sugar in milk or avocados sugar" diet and buds I am going a little insane
#text#I WANT BROWNIE#i dont DESERVE THIS#I LOVE FOOD#chronic illness#but then i eat an avocado and all my joints light up like fire and 😭😭😭#i miss bread i miss fruit i miss pastries and baklava and CHEESE and BEANS and#IM FUCKING SICK OF MEAT AND KALE#im going on 6 months of this shit and i dont deserve this#it's been SEVEN MONTHS of trouble shooting on my own waiting for this damn doctor's appointment and im FUCKING TIRED#my gp thinks im crazy and im fucking losing it. i want to eat ice cream i want to eat a fucking burger with a bun and french fries.#MELTDOWN.#xylitol does not taste good and it makes my stomach hurt#IM SICK OF THIS SHIT GRANDPA#THE PANTS I MADE didn't fit after a month went by#i've lost 30lbs and I now weigh as much as I did in MIDDLE SCHOOL. when i was on swim team and had a 2.5 hr PE course every week day.#THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!#im tired all the damn time.#at least my joints dont hurt anymore. and my skin is calming down. but goddamn.
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I dont like to assume things but it says a little something when I post a black oc and lose followers, did none of u read my bio.
We have black ppl here sir
#my stuff#in fact for a monsterlover i do purposely make my monster human couples where the human in question is black#i truly got tired of seeing white women in monster/human couples#believe it or not it gets so damn boring after the 6473882647th time#also this isnt solely monster blog despite the appearances#im a jack of all trades so youll see a bit of everything here#i will have a human phase i will have a monster phase i will have a furry phase and u will appreciate me for it
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Hey remember when I said that this was the most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer?
Yeah I was wrong.
The most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer is explicitly stating multiple times that I like show and then get called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate when I complain about the direction it has taken.
I LIKE the comedy
I LIKE the animation and artstyle
I LIKE the more serious plotlines like the government agents plot and the Cherubs plot
I LIKE the themes of friendship and found family
I even like most of the songs!
And ofc the voice cast slays every time
But just because your show has angst and tears and drama and sad music doesn't automatically make it "good".
Just because your characters are queer doesn't automatically make them good or well written characters
This fandom is so frustrating to deal with when you want to express your more nuanced takes of it
This is probably gonna be the last post I make about this subject and about Helluva Boss in general, this shit is too stupid to deal with
#still cant get over how i got called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate for saying:#'damn i wish the comedy show written by comedians had more comedy in it'#you can absolutely 100% write a comedy show with a more serious plot thread running through the whole thing#some of the most memorable and popular animated shows are just that#you got Gravity Falls The Owl House the Tales of Arcadia trilogy She-Ra ATLA etc....#fuck it even the first few seasons of Voltron for crying out loud#but the problem im having with HB is that its not a comedy with a serious plot thread anymore#its all drama all tears all angst with the occasional joke thrown in here and there#most of the shows I mentioned start off with episodic comedic adventures with hints towards the more serious stuff here and there#but the Stolitz drama started in the FIRST EPISODE#(in my opinion) the best eps of s1 are the ones that have little to nothing to do with Stolitz when we're given time to get to know the team#because we got to have FUN first we got to see the team dynamic in action#if the “serious plot thread” in HB was Blitz's relationships why didnt he apologize to Moxie and Millie in Apology Tour? or Loona?#or his FUCKING SISTER??????#the government agents and the Cherubs plotline makes x100 more sense as a serious plot thread for the premise of the series anyway#i could go on and on about this but I wont cause Im tired of thinking about this#this is stupid#im gonna ENJOY HB when I can#but that doesn't mean that there arent SERIOUS narrative issues with the series#and if you enjoy Stolitz good for you#peace and love#but its not something I can overlook#helluva boss#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique
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killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them
like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)
#AASHSHAHHHHH this one is so cute....... this thought. thank you brain for making this thought#it's like killer's experiencing sonder (except he's not aware of his own complexity of life because of his own derealization/personalizatio#actually i dont think this deserves to be a side blog post. this is too damn CUTE#at first the 2 were probably weirded out by killer watching them and now they probably dgaf...... killer comments less than youd expect#but now theyre used to his shit so they do all these tiny things that killer gets to pick up on and learn more about them#its so interesting...... killer can do as much reasoning as he can to try and find a logical reason for why they do these little things#but in the end if the real reason is just because they wanted to or they felt like it then how can killer comprehend that?#how can they just do that so easily and choose to do things based off a whim instead of having a calculated precise reason for personal gai#he wouldnt realize it on his own but noticing those little things coming fron horror and dust who used to be like him could help with the#everything is just a game and i am simply an avatar and the ultimate goal is the win aka be the most powerful#for dust and horror theyve already turned their consoles off. theyre out of their games theyve finished. their goal was just to beat it#(like if horrortale finally got the good ending it deserves because of aliza horror would have finished#if dust beat the player and due to extreme boredom (ITS GOTTA BE EXTREME EXTREME) decides to leave to explore the multiverse)#in killer's eyes theyve achieved their goals. but killer's still playing his game. maybe he IS the game. but eitherway he's not done#like they r. so taking into consideration how other versions of himself act when theyre finished with the game could he act like that 2??#did HE also finish his game and he never realized it? should he be basing these ideas off dust and horror when theyre kinda not the same gu#killer would find so many hoops to jump through to justify getting rid of the everything is a competitive game idea but there would be smth#IDK im just rambling. i gawt this idea from me imagining them fight. ya you wouldnt believe this sweet thing came from trio abuse :3#killer psychoanalyzing dust and horror is one of my favorite things eva. horror would HATE IT (if he were aware#and dust would totally be freaked out and keep to himself incase killer's planning anything against him#but uaaaghhh pretend this isnt canon this is triglycercule's ideal little world where they explore the mv and have fun#killer watching dust and horror sleep because he doesnt feel tired while theyre all in bed#and he's just picking up on how theyre positioned. how they breathe. the little things.......... djdjshahahaaahsushdjwbdsn ssosooooo cuuut#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#dare i say mtt poly. ok i dare say it. but like lowkey he'd do this whether theyre together or not...... killers just weird like that......
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D:BH Rarepairsweek 7 | @dbhrarepairs
Day 4 - Kara/Luther
#dbhrarepairsweek#luthara#dbh luther#dbh kara#detroit: become human#d:bh#dbhrarepairs#everytime they touch i actually go insane#the handholding? tHE HANDHOLDING?#there are also touches which i didnt include bc they include like death scene and im not abt that#i discovered that moment in the final gif the other night and it inspired me to make this#her hand just GENTLY PLACED ON HIS? AND SO FOCUSED IN FRAME HERE. DAMN.#(i truly thought i was gonna do the prompts but i didnt have time to preplan so that's why it is very sporadic.)#(i guess this cOULD be unlikely allies and they DID at one point go on a roadtrip but)#(the theme for this to me prob is just 'subtle touches' huh)#also it's a past midnight here im technically late but iT'S FINEEEE#i love the concept of them just being physically close all the time without establishing their relationship#until suddenly one day someone ELSE maybe asks and it caughts them off guard and they have to consider how they feel#OOHOOOO#i also have ideas for other gifsets for them but they need more time#ill do it after this week hehe#i have so many luthara thoughts but i am also so tired. goodnight.
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hello sillies. Moomin has a little crush!
#moomins#moomin#snufkin#snufmin#the moomins#fanart#snufmin fanart#snufkin fanart#moomin fanart#Moomin would take a long time to realize i think#but when he did#he would NOT b okay w it.#(im projecting)#having crushes is such a damn process#hes uncertain and really just tired of having to feel it all the damn time#he loves his bestest friend
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experiencing the horrors . save me lil guy from comic book. lil guy from comic book PLEASE
#rimi talks#genuinely kind of sad/upset i wont be able to do more than 1 MAYBE 2 fics for superfam week#bc this whole week and last week have been taken up by health bullshit and all i want ot do is sleep#i had plans. i had outlines. unfortunately i also had my stupid body betray me and now here we are :(#i had a doctors appt yesterday. and the day before. and i have one monday and one more that i haven't scheduled yet#i am. so tired y'all#and im extra tired of being in pain all the time. i have been in constant pain since wednesday at noon#it's a little funny i was texting my friend abt steel '94 and there is a timestamp visible for when i stopped responding#bc i was suddenly in too much pain to put words in order or even sit up straight at my laptop lmao#and luckily it HAS gone down like im not in so much pain i genuinely can't breathe anymore. no longer feel like im in danger of passing out#but i do still feel pretty damn bad and im so tired of it aouhghuhgghghhhhhhhhhh#comic book man save me (he can't bc i can't even fuckign write?? what's the POINT)
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i really don’t think it’s asking too much of my roommate to supply some toilet paper every now and then after using half a roll in less than 24 hours when my other roommate and I are the ones who have been buying it the whole time we’ve lived together
#roomie vent#part of me wants to tell my other roommate not to buy any for a little bit and encourage her to pick up some slack#which may sound extreme but i’m kind of at a loss because neither of us can afford to keep up with her waste habits#like i know times are tough but she’s not pitching in at all despite using so many of our toiletries with no restraint#it’s crazy to go through a whole roll in less than 36 hours#and it’s not just that. she doesn’t help with anything#she throws away so much trash that the bag fills up within a couple days and yet she never takes it out. she just lets it fill to the brim#until either i or the other roommate get tired of it and do it for her#and there is a long list of other pet peeves that i won’t mention here because im trying not to dwell on every little thing but damn#she really drives me crazy!
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Day 278 | id in alt
At least one of the students is a horrid menace to both curses and curse users. I was beginning to lose hope.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#i imagine she straight up sometimes seeks out random curse users to throw hands with#she's probably still pissed about letting her guard down that one time#now its everyones issue that Kugisaki is ticked the fuck off#cant point fingers if you just think a curse got to em because of how horrifying one user can mutilate sumn#Kugisaki Nobara im fucking looking at you girl#yeah theres also mahito so it just kinda y'know but all curses have the capability to make something look heinous#people really dont like remember that normal ass people can die easily to random curses#they'd rather yap about yaoi and or gojo and its honestly irritating now#ALSO like special grade idiot with the curse let out an entire stampede of curses from kenjaku's corpse out so like THANKS#theres other shit happening other than the damn fight and im actually low-key tired of people not noticing it like#what happened with the soldiers#the even more rampant curses uhhh#the fact theres like a large handful of civiliants or whatever yknow whatever whatever#gege show me the shit you bumbling fool
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I think a lot about how Miguel's personal friends and family kept throwing him their opinions on SpiderMan either telling him that Miguel would never be as good person as Spidey (his mom) or that Spiderman was an asshole (his ex girlfriend) or falling in love with him (his brothers girlfriend)
Meanwhile he's just staring into the camera, beaten up, tired, depressed and wanting to kill himself like "uh-hm. That's such an interesting conversation"
#im sorry i just find the fact so damn funny#hes so damn tired all the time in his original run#miguel o'hara#miguel ohara#spiderman 2099 comics#spiderman 2099#spiderman across the spiderverse#atsv
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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He's feeling silly again!!!!!
#puffer talks#he still gets tired but hes getting pretty good at getting around#and its only been a week#im still stressed all the damn time but it's better#im just drained emotionally and creatively
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Hate that whenever I'm going through something all of my friends are also going through something so all we can do is just sigh loudly at each other's misery. It strengthens the bond, sure, but doesn't change much
#diary post#vent post#couldn't we once get a break all of us at the same time. sit together share a meal laugh about something silly#damn#rest is productive but loneliness is unbearable. talking to people requires effort and no-one is willing to be the only one to put effort#so when im tired i have to stay alone which is fair but hurts#how did i become a granny before hitting 30 i wonder
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i swear i have the body of a 50 yr old. i did something mildly active for less than an hour today and my back Aches. who authorized this
#my back: oughhhh im so weak you need to lay down and be still for ten hours#honey i do not have the patience nor the time for that#i am chugging this soup and then im Really Fuckin Crunching The Packing & Cleaning#my mother gets here at like 2 am and i want to get shit done before she arrives#so that i can be told i did a good job for once in my damn life#sorry that was pathetic!#i actually am just a spiteful creature that wants to prove that Hey. maybe i can be relied upon this one time#bet she expects to get here to see an absolute mess w/ not nearly enough packed#JOKES ON YOU FUCKER IM DOIN IT ALL ON MY OWN#i got shit done Without you. ha!#also i want to go whale watching tomorrow#i need to be on the water... i need it.... big aminal please...#rambles from the bog#i feel so. Independent. and tired#took the cats to the vet all on my own. got them a prescription. rode in two ubers and made casual conversation both times#completely fumbled a brief interaction with a really cute girl who was definitely outta my league#me: wants to talk to cute girl. if she offers to get the door for you say Yes#brain: look at the floor. ignore her. say 'no ive got it' when she offers to get the door for you#sobbing and wailing. totally won otherwise lmao#my cats were so good!!! they were so sweet and they Listened!#they stayed on the weighing plate & let their claws be clipped#they were so friendly and nice and WELL BEHAVED WHAT WAS THAT#when i try to clip their claws i get squirmy mc wormie and little miss war crimes#i walk away with new scars and nothin to show for it#but noooo. vets do it and not a peep. not a single wriggle. no hisses or meows. just hangin out#man. at least my cats are comfy enough with me to be up front w their desires#fuckin fakers... beautiful sweet well behaved fakers....#the vets absolutely loved them btw. all three people that were in the room loved how sweet my little critters were <3#i am Proud tbh
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You're welcome, sweetie. I saw you working (i guess) and I didn't want to bother you (I can't concentrate knowing that you're only wearing a sheet Christ God)
And err... I left my phone number in one of the bags, you know... in case you need m-... in case you need to bring you more groceries, yes.
Get better soon! 💋
At least someone brought me food while John was replacing me eating food with someone else while I was suffering all on my own abandoned. How dare this Steven seduce him and steal him away from me this vulture snake, carrion eater. So this is a rare occurrence, I don't say this often, but thank you. Just take this that my brain is already influenced by it all. And the sheet is a necessity my temperature has been increasing since hours and I won't put my suits through that abuse of disease ridden body fluids. Easier to wash and handle as well, and I started freezing inbetween so I can wrap myself in a blanket interchangeably. I have to try to work as much as I can before I am completely incapacitated, it feels as if it's getting worse every hour.
#tiping at the laptop starts to feel exhausting#if i start making more mistakes know its because im bed bound and on my phone and getting worse#roleplay#rp#sherlock roleplay#sherlock rp#tw covid#sherlock covid crossover#this is all stevens fault i bet#he probably poisoned and infected me somehow to get john to himself#god damn steven#i will get my revenge steven#i know it i deduce its all his fault i will show him whose John is#i feel so tired but at the same time i cant sleep
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