#im telling you all !!! this man has adhd so bad !!
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i’d like to share with you all my steven stim compilation video … where i put together all the clips of him stimming in this interview to show how fidgety he really is 😵💫
he was SO fucking zoned out cuz he did not say a word this entire time 😭 he spends half the interview either adjusting his hat or playing with a random hubcap he found ??
i love how he just lets it all out in front of everybody ^_^ bro’s gotta fidget when he’s bored
#steven adler#im telling you all !!! this man has adhd so bad !!#he’s just like me he’s just like me#guns n roses#gnr#poppy#steven gnr#steven adler adhd#adhd
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I think a " No Robins" AU would be really cool, because while yes, there's no Batman without Robin, can you IMAGINE the cuteness?
By " no robin" I don't mean the boys (Dick and Jason, but later everyone else) stay home, completely unaware of their Goth rat father fighting crime. They absolutely know he's batman and they ABSOLUTELY want kicks in.
But Bruce won't just let his children dive head first in Gotham’s crime pool. So he does what he does best; Pretend.
" B! Are we there yet?"
" Almost. Finish your chocolate milk so Jason can finish his."
" He's always copying me!"
" No I'm not!"
" nO iM nOt, "
Jason kicking his little legs in the child seat? Adorable. "B!"
Bruce is simply blocking this out. He's been driving in circles for two hours and when they finally fall asleep, he takes care of business, gets the robbers tied up, and by the time the boys wake up, he's like,
" You caught them. Good job."
The GCPD has to be useful SOMEHOW, so Gordon and Martinez take them to help look for "evidence." Yes, the evidence happens to be at the park
Even the Rogues are on board? Selina doesn't mind playing hurt when Dick hits her with a "batarang" from the local toy store. She decides to take it over the top and play dead, going limp,
" You killed her!" Jason screeches, because they LIKE Selina,
Bruce, completely calm as Tim pokes a shaking Selina with a stick, " Robin. What have you done."
Naturally, Dick wails, but luckily, she miraculously "comes back to life" and tells them cats really do have 9 lives. " You owe me so many diamonds, baby"
Bruce shrugs, patting Dick on the back, " You owe me therapy money,"
" Tch. Rich prick."
Harley and Ivy "fight" the birds a lot, but it's just Harley complimenting and hyping up Dick's gymnastics while Ivy swings them around with vines like carnival rides,
When Harley's "arrested", she pulls Bruce aside and is like, " Hey, maybe look into ADHD and autism, pretty sure they all have it, "
" Impossible? That's genetic. I have neither."
" ...1) They're adopted. 2) I have some news for you."
Harvey WILL kill Bruce on sight if he ever tells ANYONE he helped Jason and Tim tie him up with jumping cords. It's already bad enough that video of him slipping on bubblegum bombs (deactivated) is viral
" Okay, now three loops and around, -- Jason, that's a cat bridge."
" I'm NOT Jason Mr. Dent!"
" Right, ROBIN, -- can you at least gag this motherf-- this jerk? Jesus, Oswald, what'd you eat, death?"
Oz, tied back to back with Harvey, with marker all over his face, " Your MOTHER. I'M tired, KID, When's your old man coming back?"
" Dad says that if you miss bed time, you explode. Are you gonna explode, Mr. Penguin?"
"... I'm concerned that you're excited about it."
#AAAA BABIES#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batdad#bruce wayne is a good dad#its not exactly exciting or anything but i thought it was cute!!!#harley quinn#poison ivy#harvey dent#jason todd#dick grayson#robins#no robins au#text#batman#text post#batfamily#batfam
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Hopeful
Soft! Jackson Joel Miller x Neurodivergant/ ADHD F!reader
Summary: Joel hasn't felt hopeful since before the outbreak, that is before he meets you when he arrives in Jackson. Hes falling for you, but you couldn't possible fee the same way, could you?
Soft! Jackson Joel miller x Neurodivergant\ ADHD reader AU
MDNI 18+ NSFW
Warnings: unspecified age gap (i wrote this with reader in her early 30s and Joel in is early 50s but no ages are specifically said) soft Joel, concerned Joel, protective Joel, Neurodivergant, audio overstimulation, anxiety. He falls first. Match maker Ellie. Smut. Oral (F! receiving) Fingering, heavy make out sessions. Joel's chatty. body imagine issues, low self-esteem. Swearing, dirty talk. Praise.
A/N: Man this story really got away from me! what i thought would be a short story turned out to be rather length but im proud as hell of this story and i hope you enjoy!
There’s not a lot of descriptors about reader other than eye color and mentions of curves/ plush but they can easily be changed.
Hopeful.
Hopeful wasn’t something Joel felt since before the outbreak. But when he met you, it started brewing slow and low just below the surface until he couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t push it away any longer. You made him feel hopeful.
“Dude if you stare much longer the whole town is gonna notice.” Ellie teases as she jabs Joel with her elbow.
“Oh stop it, I wasn’t staring”
“You’ve been looking at her for like 10 minutes, just go sit with her”
Joel turns away quickly feeling his face getting red. He thought he was doing a better job of keeping his fondness for you hidden. He figured there was no way you’d share the same feelings, why would you like a guy like him? Old, beat up, and someone the whole town talked about. He figured there just wasn’t any way.
“She don’t want me bothering her” Joel shrugs
“Im not lying when I say she asks about you when you haven’t been to the stables yet.”
A slight smile tugs at Joel’s lips, he always asks Ellie about you too.
“Go sit with her”Ellie nudges him
Joel let’s out a nervous sigh and makes his way over to your table.
You’re fully engrossed in your book that you don’t notice Joel standing there for a moment.
“Is this seat taken darlin’?”
You don’t even have to look to know it’s Joel, you’d know his voice anywhere.
You chuckle, looking up at him with that smile and those big beautiful hazel eyes he loved so much.
“What’s funny?”
“Unless Ellie and Dina are sitting with me, that seats never taken”
Joel frowns at your comment.
“You want some company? It ok if I sit?”
“I’d love some” you say trying not too seem to eager but your bursting with butterflies over Joel wanting to sit with you. Your smile happens automatically, like it always does with Joel.
You’d been fond of Joel since him and Ellie arrived in Jackson. Despite all the whispers about him in town, his presence always calmed you in a way nobody ever had, you couldn’t explain it even if you tried. You absolutely adored Ellie from the moment you met her, Joel always telling you she trusts you in a way he’s never seen before.
The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you both finish breakfast.
“Didn’t see you at the town dance last night”
“That’s because I didn’t go, you went?”
“Well Ellie and Dina wanted to go cause they’re always reading about dances in the diaries they find, so I went too. Plus Ellie’s always teasin’ me that I need to get out more”
“I don’t normally go to stuff like that, I’m too awkward and I don’t want people asking me to dance because they feel bad.”
“Now I’m sure there would be lots of people who’d like to dance with you” Joel has all he can do not to tell you he’d show up to dance with you everytime if he knew you’d be there.
“That’s really kind of you to say, but incase you haven’t noticed the people here don’t really know how to take me.”
“You headin to the stables?” Joel already knows the answer. He knows it’s not your day to work at the stables but he asks anyways because he doesn’t want the conversation to end.
“ No, today I’m working on getting the little town library set up, now that you and Tommy are finished building the shelves, I’d like to open it soon.”
“Y’need any help? I’m off my normal duties today”
“Oh no, it’s ok. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to bother you on your free time”
“It’s really no trouble at all, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to help” Joel’s jokes, smiling at you.
Your laugh.
He’d give anything to hear your laugh over and over again.
“And I guess I wouldn’t accept if I didn’t want help and company” you teased back, trying to stifle the giggle that bubbles up.
She wants company, my company?
The two you you load up the first wagon full of books and wheel across the center of town to the little store front soon to be the The Jackson Town Library.
“Here we can unload them. Then I can keep making the trips back and forth with the cart while you set them up in the shelves”
“Sounds like a deal to me. Why don’t we make like 3-4 trips and stop for the day. Because if not we’re both the type of people to work on our whole day off.”
“You got yourself a deal sweetheart”
Joel can’t help but smile as he turns to make the second trip. There was just something about the way you made him feel at ease, that he couldn’t get over.
When Joel returned with the second load of books he found you and Ellie chatting as she was helping you.
“What was it like to have a birthday party and sleepovers?” Ellie asks you.
“What makes you ask that?” You ask chuckling a little.
“Well I’ve been reading about them in the people from before the outbreaks diaries but I never had either of them”
“They were fun for a lot of people, I um didn’t really have a lot of friends, so my birthday parties were always mostly family. And I only ever went to a few sleep overs. I was always so excited to be included when I got to go to them.”
It breaks Joel’s heart listening to you and Ellie talking. It wasn’t fair that Ellie never got to experience what life was like before the outbreak, never really getting a childhood. Hearing you talking about how hard and lonely your life was even as a child tore him up. You were different sure, but you had a heart of gold. You were so caring, always supporting everyone who needed something and all you wanted was love and care in return.
He wanted to be that person for you so badly, the one who made your heart soar with all the love and support you never had. To be the one to make you laugh on the good days and take you into his arms and take the pain away on the bad days.
He’s not sure exactly when he started to fall for you, but it was coming on faster and stronger by the day.
“My birthday is next weekend, could I have a birthday party?”
You looked up locking eyes with Joel
“Of course you can, we can throw you a birthday party Ellie” you smile at him as you answer.
We. She wants to help me throw a birthday party for Ellie? There’s no bounds to how wonderful and caring this woman is.
“ I of course want to invite you, Dina, Jesse, Ethan, uncle Tommy and Maria. Ooo can I have a sleep over?”
“No boys are sleeping over”
You can’t help but laugh at Joel’s abrupt response.
“Eww no of course not, but Dina and (y/n) could stay over couldn’t they?”
“ yes if they want to they are more then welcome”
“Oh this is awesome, I gotta go tell everyone!”
“Wait, shouldn’t you ask if (y/n) wants too?” Joel’s looking at you to gage your reaction
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world”
Ellie smiles wildly as she runs out of the store front.
——————————————————————
The day came for Ellie’s party, and you loaded up your wagon with all the supplies and headed over there early to help set up.
“Jesus you’ve got a lot of stuff, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble”
“I know but I really wanted to make this as special as I could for her. She deserves to have the experiences she never got too”
Your big heart made Joel’s soar, you were so kind and thoughtful.
“ I do have a big surprise for her, for all the kids really”
“Oh yea? What do you have up your sleeve?” Joel teases.
“So I went through some boxes that had been in the house in one of the closets. I never bothered to before because it’s not like I really have a lot of stuff so they weren’t in the way. But I wanted to see if there was anything I could use for Ellie’s party and man I hit the jackpot”
Joel just smirks and raises a eyebrow signaling you to continue.
“Well one I found another Will Livingston pun book, which she’s going to love and I found a Nintendo console with a bunch of game cartridges. I figured we could teach the kids how to play and then Ellie can keep it”
There it is again, we. Maybe I’m reading into this to much. But I can’t help but feel like she actually likes spending time with me.
“Shit, they’re all going to love it! Man I haven’t played with one of these in ages”
“Me either, I was never any good at them and the sounds drove me crazy”
Joel relished moments like this, when you pulled back the curtain you shielded yourself with and let him see you.
You sat there completely content and full of joy watching Joel teach the kids how to play each game before he joined you on the couch as they went crazy battling each other.
As the kids cheer and the Mario music blasts Joel looks over to see you struggling. Your eyes shut tightly, chest rising and falling quicker than normal
“Hey, want to have a drink in the kitchen?” Joel whispers as he places his hand lightly on your arm.
“Please” you whisper, embarrassed that Joel saw you like that.
You sit at the kitchen table while Joel takes out two glasses with ice and pours whiskey doubles into them.
“Everything alright darlin’?” Joel ask as he takes his seat sliding your glass over to you.
“Oh..yea..everything’s alright” you say staring down at the amber liquid. Embarrassment flooding your system.
“I ain’t gonna push you if you don’t want to talk and I know I probably ain’t your first choice of someone to talk to, but just know you can talk to me.”
Joel desperately wants to know about your struggles, what makes you the way you are. He wants to be the one that helps you through life, the one who makes the bad days good and the good days better. But he pushes aside the thoughts that you’d want to be more than just friends, if you even considered him that. Because after all why would a girl like you like someone like him, could he really be that lucky?
You think about your answer for a few beats, and realize there’s no use trying to lie to Joel. There was just something about Joel that was comforting, that made you feel safe, but in a different way than the way you felt with Tommy you just couldn’t put your finger on it.
“No its not at all like that. I like talking to you.” You don’t miss the way Joel’s eyes light up a little.
“It’s just….I usually just retreat into myself, it’s easier that way. Most people don’t want to hear about my weird issues that can’t be solved with a why don’t you just ignore it?, why can’t you just change? Can’t you be a little less weird?” You said with a defeated shrug.
You wanted to talk to Joel, but part of you hoped he would just change the subject and move on. Because your quiet sure he doesn’t actually want to hear about your ADHD and all the weird idiosyncrasies that came with it.
“Well I’m not most people” he drawled as he lightly touched your arm. Nodding his head to encourage you to continue.
Truthfully he wanted to hear anything you wanted to tell him, Joel wanted to be your comfort point, the person that you went to for anything. To be the person you felt the safest with, to let your tired shoulders relax from holding up that wall around yourself. Letting your true self shine, free from judgement and surrounded by the love you deserve.
“I have sensory issues, especially with audio and textures. It’s hard to explain and it’s been along time since anyone wanted me too, so bare with me because some of this isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense.”
“You take all the time you need sweetheart, there no rush or pressure. I’m here for you”
Joel can’t help but notice your eyes soften and body langue relax a little when you realize he’s got you, that he’s hear for you and truly listening.
“I get overwhelmed easily by a lot of sounds happening at once, like in there with the sounds of the game and all the yelling and cheering at the same time makes my brain feel scrambled up. Like I can’t sort any of it out, it just sounds like one big mixing bowl of sounds. And when that happens I get anxious, my heart starts to pound, my ears ring and sometimes I lash out coming off to aggressive in the moment to try and make it stop.”
“ you’ve been around enough at the stables, you’ve probably heard me come on a little to strong with a razor sharpe tongue when it all gets to much. I always feel so bad, I never mean to snap. But sometimes when it’s so overwhelming it’s like I have no control of my tongue and I just blurt it out before I even realize I’m saying anything.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Ask me anything you’d like and I’ll do my best to answer”
“I don’t want this to come out wrong, I’m realizing now this might sound a little weird. But I’ve noticed you fuss with your clothes, like your pulling them away from your skin constantly, is-is that part of the sensitivity?”
You can’t help but look at Joel for a few beats to long, stunned by his question. Not because of the way he worded it but because of the context of his question, that fact that he’s picked up on your discomfort and is curious about it instead of just asking why you can’t just deal with it like everyone else ever has.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean t’make you uncomfortable” Joel says taking your silence as a bad sign.
“No, you didn’t at all. I just got lost in the thought of you being so observant but always wanting to know.”
“I always want to ask if your alright but I never want to pry, I know you like your space”
You can’t help the smile that dances across your face.
“You can ask me anything Joel, if I’m not comfortable answering I’d tell you.”
“But yes, the clothing thing is part of it. The texture of some fabrics against me make me want to crawl out of my skin. It’s hard sometimes for me to fall asleep too because the way the blankets and sheets touch my skin doesn’t feel right. I know it’s weird, I can’t really explain it.”
“It’s not just with clothing or fabric either, it’s physical touch too, which is the worst to get people to understand. I hate being touched, the feeling of most people touching me makes my skin crawl. And they love to brush it off by being like oh well I’m a huggy person or oh I’m just a touchy person so it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry, I know Ellie hugs you all the time and I know I touched you earlier”
“See now this is the most frustrating and complicated part about this. There are people like you, Ellie and Tommy that are in my bubble that I’m comfortable with, that I trust, that that kind of contact is welcome from.”
She likes when I touch her? Am I a welcome presence for her? I’ll drive myself crazy thinking about this too hard, but maybe just maybe she’s trying to tell me she feels the same as I do?
“Then the flip side of it is that there are also sounds that bring me so much comfort, like songs that I could listen to on repeat without batting an eye. The sound of someone’s voice that brings me back to earth when the anxiety is unrelenting. A scent that soothes me beyond explanation.”
Joel can’t help but let his thoughts run wild, indulging in the thought that you might be talking about him. He’s about to ask about your comment when Ellie barges into the kitchen.
“Oh sorry to interrupt” she says when she realizes you two are deep in conversation.
“Oh no it’s ok, you probably just saved me from really embarrassing myself” you chuckle
Joel doesn’t miss the way you stiffen up, as if you feel like you’ve said to much.
“ I’m ready to watch my birthday movie but I’m also really ready for the guys to leave so it’s just the four of us, could you kick them out?”
“ course I can do that, we’ll be right in”
You quickly get up from the table to follow after Ellie.
“Hang on, sweetheart” Joel says softly as he reaches for your arm.
“Can-can I give you a hug? Or rather would you like a hug?”
You can feel the embarrassment really take hold as you pull your eyes to the floor. He had no idea how much you wanted a hug from him and you had no idea how badly he wanted to hug you.
“I would like that” you said meekly as you nod your head. If Joel wasn’t listening intently, hanging on your every word he would of missed it
He takes a few steps closer to you hesitating for a couple beats before he wraps his arms you.
As if you’d been waiting for this moment, your entire body relaxes under his touch. Joel can’t help but notice they way you bury your head into his chest as you wrap your arms around him tighter. The way you stay there in his arms for longer than he expects, like your completely at ease in this moment.
“Thank you….thank you for listening. For letting me talk.” You whisper
“Thank for trusting me, for letting me in” he whispers back.
——————————————————————
It had been a few months since Ellie’s birthday party and Joel couldn’t help but boil over with happiness at seeing more of you. You started coming around often and listening to him play guitar on the porch after your walks with Ellie. You started joining them for family meals more in the mess hall, though Joel couldn’t tell you he called them that- not yet anyway.
Because honestly he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to decide he wasn’t the type of person you wanted to spend alot of time with. It’s why he didn’t press you on wether or not you were coming to his birthday gathering at the tipsy bison tonight that Tommy was putting together. He didn’t want you to feel pressured.
You slip into the dimly lit tipsy bison about 45 minutes before Joel’s party is supposed to end. You were so nervous to come, that it took alot for you to actually leave the house. You realize as you slip into a table in the dark back corner that you also forgot his present at home too.
Somethings seriously wrong with me when I remember to bring my security book and not this man’s damn present.
You scan the room and see Joel and Tommy talking to a few people at the bar. Nervous about interrupting you open up your book and try to block out all the loud chatter.
Joel scans the small crowd hoping to see you when he over hears Caleb talking to Tommy.
“Why would she come to something like this if she’s not going to speak to anyone?”
Joel follows Caleb’s motion, feeling a tugging in his chest when he lays eyes on you. You’re sitting in the dark corner of the Tipsy Bison hunched over your book, rubbing your finger back and forth on the cover. Something Joel picked up on that you do when your anxious as a way to sooth yourself.
“Sorry we can’t all be rays of fucking sunshine like you” Joel hears Ellie snap back as he’s making his way over to you.
The closer he gets to you the more his heart pounds. When was the last time I ever felt like this if ever. Joel doesn’t know when it started happening but he can’t fight it any longer, he’s falling for you hard and fast like a fright train. You consume his every thought, which terrifies the hell out of him but he can’t turn back now, not even if he tried.
“Hey there sweetheart, you came” for one fleeting moment Joel feels nervous, maybe you don’t want to be bothered because after all you didn’t even tell him you were here. But that all melts away the moment you look at him. The smile that touches your eyes, the shimmer of happiness that dances across your face.
“Hey!”
“It ok to join you?”
“Of course, I’d love that. As long as I’m not taking your time away from anyone else?”
“There isn’t one person in here I’d rather talk to”
The way you beam up at him as you quickly but your book back in you’re bag says it all. This is another sign of yours that Joel’s picked up on, you only do this when you’re comfortable and want to talk to someone. You always do this when you see him, he trys so hard not to read into that but at this point it’s impossible.
The two of you sit and talk for a bit. You can’t help but be consumed by all things Joel when you were around him, and you loved that. The way he looked at you like you were the only other person in the world or the way he made you feel when ever he was near was both to much snd not enough. Your feelings for him charging full steam ahead, there’s no way you’d stop them even if you had the option.
But could he really feel the same?
“Well I should go I don’t want to take you away from your friends to long”
“Oh, let me walk you home”
“No no it’s ok, I’ll be alright, it’s your party” you say frowning, not wanted to inconvenience him in any way.
“Sweetheart…I can promise you most these people ain’t here for me”
You pause for a few beats
“Ok, in that case I’d love that” unable to control the sincere wild smile that dances across your lips at the thought of Joel Miller walking you home.
“Um ah- would you like to come in for a minute? I ah have a gift for you but I forgot it when I left for your party” you smile sheepishly up at Joel as you reach your little house.
“You have a gift for me?”
“Yea…I made you a birthday present”
Joel follows you inside your house, and instantly the scent of you is filling his senses. He watches as your disappear down the hall and into a room, unsure if he can follow you mixed with not wanting to scare you has him staying in the kitchen.
“Here it’s not much, but I wanted to do something” you say nervously handing him the small gift wrapped in a scrap piece of fabric.
You lean back against the counter as Joel takes the gift, unwrapping the corded string holding the fabric around the gift like wrapping paper.
You’re overcome with anxiety watching him, making it near impossible to look at him. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to much? Joel doesn’t miss the way your fidgeting around nervously.
As Joel pulls back the last fold of fabric he reveals a smallish leather bound note book. As he turns it over in his hands the light catches right for him to notice stitched into the cover in a slightly different colored string than the leather is his name.
“You made this for me? Christ it must of taken forever” Joel asks as he runs this fingers over the the letters.
“D-do you like it? I hope it’s not to much?” You say sheepishly, retreating into yourself as your wrap your arms around yourself.
“No no, it ain’t like that. I love it, I’m just surprised you took the time to make something for me of all people.”
“It took me about two months to do, because I worked on it when I had the energy after rounds at the stables. But I wanted to do something special for you, because.. well because your special to me. When I heard you saying your note book for your patrol and maintenance notes was almost full I got the idea to make this without knowing how to go about it”
“Nobody’s ever done anything like this more me before. Is it ok if I give you a hug sweetheart?”
When Joel takes you into his arms he expects you to be tense before you relax like the few times before,but not this time. No this time was different, this time you melted under his touch immediately burying your face in his chest. He can’t help but think maybe you’ve been needing his touch, his comfort as much as he needs yours.
You feel him pull back from the hug, making you painfully aware you held on to him for a few beats to long. You’re anxiety takes over as you pull back, you’re gaze dropping to the floor immediately.
“Sorry. Sorry, I made that weird”
“Give yourself some credit sweetheart, you never make anything weird. I just wanted to look at you, that’s all”
Pulling your gaze back up, your met with his beautiful deep brown eyes. They’re filled with a soft tenderness as he reaches up caressing the curve of your cheek.
Joel’s large warm hand comes to cup the side of your face, smoothing his calloused thumb back and forth over your cheek bone. His heart thunders in his chest when you lean into his touch, looking more free than he’s ever seen you. Almost as if you’re letting him see a glimpse of yourself from before the world fell apart. He also sees a lightness in your body language that he only notices when the two of you are together.
His eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes a few times, trying to search for any fear or discomfort.
Fuck it.
Your eyes flutter closed as Joel’s lips connect with yours in a soft and tender kiss. Your mind in desperately trying to process everything as Joel takes your stillness as hesitation and pulls away at the exact moment you brain catches up.
“Sorry I misre-“
“Wait, Do it again” you whisper
Joel grabs both sides of your face as he lowers himself back down connecting with your soft lips again. Only this time you don’t hesitate, you return the kiss as you bring your hands to loop round his neck, your fingers sinking into the hair at the nape of his neck. Joel skims his hands down your sides resting them on your hips, a action that makes you gasp as you tilt you’re head up.
“Is this ok?” He whispers as he pulls back enough to rest his forehead against yours.
“Yes” you whisper back, running your fingers deeper into his dark graying hair. This action unlocks something deep inside Joel as he hooks his one hand around your lower back and the other around the back of your head pulling you closer to him. When you resume kissing it’s more passionate and frantic than before and as Joel licks along the seam of your bottom lip begging for entrance you tilt your head up immediately allowing him to deepen the kiss. As your warm wet tongues dance together the grip you two have on each other tightens. Neither of you wanting to show the other how terrified you both are of the other slipping through your fingers if you not holding on for dear life.
As you both pull back to catch your breath you can’t help the giggle that escapes you.
“I guess it’s safe to say you liked your present?”
“It’s safe to say I like more than just the present sweetheart”
He can’t possibly be saying what I think he’s saying can he?”
“I’d invite you to watch a movie but I moved the only tv into the bedroom because it helps me sleep alone and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”
What I wouldn’t give to spend every night next to her. I never want her to feel alone.
“I’d be more than comfortable with that but only if you are”
Christ I could get lost in the big hazel eyes of hers.
“I honestly would love that” youre trying to hide your smile not wanting to come off too eager but it’s impossible.
You lead the way to your bedroom, once inside you gesture to the bed, “you can pick the movie and make your yourself comfortable I’ll be right back.”
You beeline it for the bathroom, splashing some water on your face and looking at yourself in the mirror. You take a few deep breaths trying to tamp down the anxiety.
Did I really just invite Joel Miller to watch a movie with me in my bed and he accepted? When did I get so bold?
Making your way back to the bedroom you see Joel sitting up with his back against the wall with the few pillows against the wall next to him.
The way your smiling at him makes him feel like it’s just you and him in this world, I feeling that nobody has ever given him before.
“Why don’t you have any pillows you rest your back on?” You say as you settle in next to him.
“I just want to make sure your comfortable, I’ll be fine”
You laugh, that beautiful laugh Joel has come to love so much.
“Well I certainly don’t need all of these, you should be comfortable too” you say as you hand him a couple.
Joel absolutely melts at this action. It speaks volumes to him that your advocating for his comfort as well as your own without even thinking about it or being asked too.
As he’s settling back against the pillows Joel notices you rolling one of your shoulders back as it’s it’s bothering you.
“You alright sweetheart? I’ve been noticing you rolling youre shoulder a lot this week, it botherin’ you?”
“Oh yea… it’s fine, I just tweaked it at the stables. Shimmers stables doors been sticking and the saddles are a little high for me sometimes, but it’s fine. I just gotta go easy on it for a bit”
Joel feels a wave of concern mixed with anger, but not with you with himself.
I should of asked sooner, she shouldn’t be getting hurt at work because of something I could of helped fixed. I need to go down there and fix something.
“ let me take a look at it sweetheart”
You’re embarrassed, your sure he thinks your the biggest idiot as you turn facing your back to him.
“Where does it hurt?”
“It hurts kind of along my shoulder blade”
Joel starts feeling along your shoulder blade applying light pressure.
“Ugh right in there” you quietly groan
“It’s a little swollen, maybe a pinched nerve…I could rub it, try to work it out for y’ou if you’d be comfortable with that.”
“Wait…really?”
“Please don’t feel like you have too, it’s ok”
“It’s no trouble sweetheart”
Joel helps you settle back between his legs as he slips his hand into the neck of your shirt messaging his thumb along your shoulder.
Joel doesn’t miss the relaxed sigh you breath out as your eyes get heavy and you slowly fall back until your back is completely flush again his chest, your head on his shoulder.
He wraps his arms around you tightly, looking down to see you completely asleep in his arms. He leans down softy placing a kiss on your forehead. Warmth slowly creeps up his spine, over his shoulders and deep into his chest. This is what safety feels like, you- are what safety feels like. Joel doesn’t have to have his walls up with you. He can relax, let his guard down, not have to be in a constant state of fight or flight around you. The more Joel let’s this realization consume him, the heavier his eyes get and before he can stop it he starts dozing off.
He snaps awake 10 minutes later to the feeling of you squirming in his arms followed by the sounds of mumbles and whimpers in your sleep. You cry out briefly before you roll over, clutching him with your head buried in the crook of his and your chest flush against his own. Joel can feel your heart pounding against his chest.
“Shhhh baby girl it’s ok, I got you. You’re with me. Your safe” Joel speaks softly rubbing his hands up and down your back.
The moment you hear his voices, the tension drains from your body and your cry’s stop as you fully relax against him.
“Don’t leave me please…I need you ” you’re soft voice speaks against his neck
Joel holds you tightly, unable to shake the memory of you telling him that someone’s voice was soothing to you, that it made you at ease when ever you heard it. He’s 100% confident that you were talking about him.
“Im not goin’ anywhere sweetheart” Joel says as he squeezes you tighter and kisses the crown of your head.
Your so incredibly raw and vulnerable in the moment as you look up at him, your eyes swirling with comfort mixed with fear as you sleepily sit up.
——————————————————————
The next time Joel opens his eyes it’s early morning, your curled up to him, your head on his chest. He can’t help but think he won the lottery. The idea that a women like you would take comfort in him, that you’d want him by you’re side. Joel will make it his mission to make sure you never feel alone again, that he’s by your side for the rest of your life. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you in his life because he sure as hell didn’t feel like he deserved it.
Joel’s pulled from his thoughts by you sleepily stretch and sitting up. His hand is firmly on your lower back keeping you steady.
“You sleep ok?” He asks slipping his hand under your shirt to rub your lower back.
“I don’t think I’ve slept that deeply since before the outbreak, I’ve never really been a good sleeper”
Christ she’s so beautiful first thing in the morning, givin’ me that cute sleepy smile as she tells me how she slept well next to me.
“Where you able to sleep?”
I can’t tell her I slept better than I have In 20 something years.
“I did get some sleep”
“You hungry? We could go grab Ellie and get breakfast in the mess hall”
Ellie. Fuck I have no idea if any of this is ok with Ellie. I can’t do this to her. I don’t want to drive a wedge between her and Joel or her and I. She’s been though enough I don’t want her to think I’m trying to break up there family.
“ Oh, no it’s ok. You go a head I’m sure you and Ellie have stuff to do today” you say as you you stiffen to sit up straight, the feeling of panic crashing in like a wave.
“No it’s no trouble at all, she should just be over Dina’s anyway” Joel feels your body going ridged, he can tell by your eyes that somethings changing.
“ I have so much to do at the library still before it can open, I’m really not hungry. I’ll just grab something before breakfast ends.” You say swinging your legs over the side of the bed and hurriedly looking for clean clothes.
Joel feels it, he sees it your body langue that somethings wrong. He doesn’t know what flipped the switch but he’s desperate to fix it.
“You should take it easy on your shoulder, rest it so it don’t get worse”
Your body relaxes, your eyes softening briefly at him being protective, showing concern for your health before going ridged again.
“I promise I’ll go easy on my shoulder, I just desperately need to get some projects done. Everyone’s counting on me to get it done and open soon.” Your voice sounds strained and pleading like your trying to convince yourself and much as you are him that you believe what your saying.
“Can I at-least walk you there?”
The walk into town was quiet, neither of you saying much. Just the silent sound of you both battling your own inner self doubt.
“You sure you don’t want breakfast?”
“I’m sure….I’m not very hungry” your voice is soft and strained, almost as if your trying to hold back tears.
Joel cups your face pulling your gaze up to meet his.
“You let me know if you need anything sweetheart, can’t have you hurtin’ your shoulder worse.” Joel drawls before leaning in, closing the gap and placing a soft kiss to your lips. You return the kiss briefly as you run your fingers over his patchy beard.
“I promise I’ll go easy on myself”
Joel can’t shake the feeling that somethings wrong. You never skip breakfast because you get very hangry if you don’t eat in the morning.
Did I scare her? Did I move to fast? Did I make her uncomfortable in some way?
It hits Joel like a ton of bricks as he turn onto his street.
Ellie. She’s worried about how Ellie will feel about us. She’s worried it will drive a wedge between her and I or with them.
Joel stops up the steps and frantically grabs his tool bag.
“Your to old to be staying out all night and then doing a terrible job sneaking back in the next morning” Ellie teases behind Joel.
“I gotta do some extra work in the work shop and at the stables but when your done with your green house shift, we need to talk”
Joel’s never had a way with words like most people, he’s never been eloquent speaker. His love language more came in the form of acts of severance or in words of affirmation. He spends the next few hours building a safe sturdy step stool for the saddles, fixing not just Shimmers stable door but all the horses stables doors so none of them had the possibility to stick and tinkering around and fixing up anything he could find.
You stay at the library for several hours trying completely the simplest tasks, but without much success. Your just going through the motions as your mind is a mile away, thinking about Joel.
Resigning to the fact that you were getting nothing done, you decided to go home to take a hot shower to sooth your racing mind.
As the hot water streams over your body and the steam fills your lungs your mind drifts to Joel. You haven’t stopped thinking about how you can still feel his lips on yours. How he makes you feel seen and heard without any judgement what so ever.
Youre heart aches from how deep your feelings for Joel go, even if it feels like you don’t deserve having him in your life. But you need to apologize to him for how abruptly you retreated back into yourself when the feelings felt to real this morning.
Joel’s nursing a glass of whisky when Ellie gets back from her shift at the green house.
“What’s up Joel, everything alright?”
“Yea, nothin’ bad I just, I like someone and wanna talk about it”
“Oh congrats, your getting soft in your old age. Did you finally become friends with your horse”
“Jerk, no I like a woman. I like a woman, I wanna date her. But are you ok with that?”
“Your so bad at this, why are you being so awkward?”
“We’ll Christ, I’ve never done this before, had this kind of talk. I never brought anyone around Sarah. I don’t know what I’m doing”
“Wait… is this about Y/N?”
Joel nods cautiously
“Man you really are dense aren’t you?” Ellie playfully pokes.
“What’s so funny?”
“Joel.. I’ve been trying to set you up with her since we got here. Tommy’s been helping too”
“What? Really? You’re ok with it?”
“You guys are perfect for each other, it’s so obvious you two really care about each other, at least it is too me because I get to spend time with you guys together away from everyone else.”
Joel just stairs at her stunned
“Look I never wanted to admit this because it sounds stupid, but the times when it’s just you, me and her…it’s feels like we’re a family, like I actually have the family I’ve been dying to have my whole life. She got to know us and excepted us the way we are without listening to all the whispers around town and I think that’s fucking beautiful.”
“I gotta go see her”
“I swear to god Joel don’t fuck this up, she’s the happiness we both deserve, but yes, go to her, go right now”
Joels out of the house and down the street before his brain catches up.
Your scrambling around the house trying to get dressed as fast as you can before you get to anxious and decide not to go to Joel’s when you hear a knock at the door.
“The book drop off box is on the porch” you yell down the hall, figuring someone was trying to pick up or drop off books they borrowed since you weren’t at the library. But you hear who ever is is knock again.
“The book pick up is also on the porch” you yell again hoping the person hears you and gets the point,but they do it yet again. Completely flustered at this point you rip your shirt down over you head and pad angrily to the door.
“The book drop off and pick…” you aggressively swing the door open, stoping dead in your tracks at who’s on the other side.
“Joel” you whisper in surprise. All you can do is stare for a few beats to long at how the evening light highlights his already beautiful features.
“Sorry, this a bad time sweetheart?”
“No…sorry I just thought you were someone else”
You immediately pick up on his change In body langue and quickly follow up with “I just thought it was someone trying to pick up or drop off books” you watch as he relaxes right away again.
“I…I um was actually on my way over to your place”
Before either if you know it your smashing together in a kiss like two magnet’s. The kiss is all teeth and tongues, it’s desperate and awkward, messy and beautiful. Your both clutching on to each other like the other might fly away as Joel walks you backwards through the door way as he pushing the door closed with his foot.
As you both pull back for air Joel cradles your face with his large hands, caressing your cheek bones with the rough pads of his thumbs. His deep brown eyes lock with you hazel ones ands it’s as if they rest of the world doesn’t exist, like it’s only the two of you left on earth.
“I’m so sorry about this morning, I wasn’t trying to be weird. I-I I just…I scared myself with everything”
“It’s ok sweetheart” Joel says as he kisses you softly.
“I talked to Ellie, she’s ok with us being a thing. Honestly quiet excited about it”
You’re speechless for a moment, as you eyes start to well with tears.
“Joel, you didn’t have to do that, I’m sorry if you felt like you had too”
“I did have too, because it’s important to me”
“It’s…it’s important to me that you did”
At hearing that Joel lunges forward again capturing your lips in a kiss pulling you flush against his chest. He swallows the gasp that escapes your lips when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth. You snake your arms around his neck tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. The growl that, that action elicits vibrates through your chest.
“Bedroom?” Joel grits out, his deep voice drips with desire mixed with love.
Joel can’t convince himself otherwise any more, he loves you.
“Bedroom” you echo
Joel’s walking you backwards down the hall to your bedroom when he turns slightly pinning you against the wall just outside your bedroom.
“Are you sure about this sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to lock eyes with you.
You nod your head yes.
“I need to hear you say it sweetheart. I don’t want to push you farther than your comfortable going because i thought it was ok.”
“I’m sure about this Joel, I want it…I want you”
Joel let’s out a low groan as he attaches his lips to your jaw, nipping his way long it until he reaches that soft spot where your jaw meets your neck. He sucks hard and then soothes the spot with his tongue as his hands sneak inside the hem of your shirt squeezing your plush sides. This earns him another tug at his hair as you let out a whimper. Joel’s head spins from how breathless you are already for him and he hopes you can tell how breathless he is for you.
Joel rips his shirt off at the feeling of you raking your hands up and down his chest. He’s been touched starved for so long that the desperate need for your touch, to feel your skin on his takes over.
Most people wouldn’t describe Joel as beautiful, but you always found him to be. You thought as you took in the sight of him shirtless.
Joel watches you nervously as you trace over old scars on his chest. He’s afraid you’ll want to run and hide from him bearing his soul to you in a way he never has or ever wanted too. But the moment you press your lips to the scars on his chest this worry melts away. You pepper every scar you can see across his chest, arms and shoulders with kisses before you make your way to his neck. You sneak your hands around him to slide them up his back as you reach his ear.
“Every part of you is beautiful” you whisper as you kiss along his jaw.
Joel feels dizzy from your words as your lips make it back to his. Never in his life has anyone ever called him beautiful much less been this tender and sensual with him. He can’t get enough, as he grabs at your waist again. Pulling you tightly to him as he presses you firmly again the wall causing your shirt to ride up.
“It’s ok… you can take it off” you breath
Joel wastes no time ripping your shirt up over your head.
“Your so fuckin’ gorgeous” he growls as you arch into him so he can unhook your bra.
You let the straps slide down your arms until it falls to the floor between the two of you. You’re mind goes blank from Joel’s intense gaze. Slowly he slides his hands up your torso to your breasts. They barely even touched you and your nipples are already hardened peaks. The sensation of him rolling them beneath his slightly calloused thumbs as he’s squeezing your breasts hits you hard. Your eyes flutter shut as your head falls back against the wall, if your not carful you might just climax from this alone.
“Fuck…your skins so soft” Joel growls as he pulls you away from the wall and into your bedroom, not stopping until your legs hit the end of your bed.
His eyes burn right through you as you slid your pants down, leaving yourself in just your panties as you climb on the bed.
The two of you hold each others gaze for a few beats as Joel undoes his belt and steps out of his pants. You instinctually spread your legs to make room for him as the bed dips down. He doesn’t care how long he has to draw this out, Joel’s not stopping until he’s explored every inch of your body. Making you feel like the goddess that he sees you as.
Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his hard outline straining his boxers and back to his eyes. The way he playfully smirks at you makes you realize just how exposed you are to him, making you start to wrap your arms around your body to cover yourself.
“You ok sweetheart?” Joel asks rubbing circles into your thighs.
“Do you want me to cover up some?”
“What?”
“Wait why would I want you to cover up?” He half huffs, confused
“Im not the skinniest…I don’t look as good as you”
Joel hates the idea that someone(s) made you feel like you weren’t worthy because your body isn’t their ideal body. He’s loves your curves, the plushness of your skin.
“Everything about you is gorgeous, and if it s’ok id like to show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”
You frantically nod and with that Joel dips his body down kissing right above your clothed clit, pulling a whimper out of you. He then moves to your hips, kissing them both before kissing all the way up your stomach til he reaches your breasts.
He licks along the swell of your breast, pulling your peaked nipple in between his teeth as he palms the other one with his free hand. Then does the same to the other.
“So fuckin’ sexy” Joel whispers against your breast as he swings his leg over to straddle one of your legs.
He crashes forward, his rock hard bulge pressing into your hip to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. Your hands automatically plant firmly in his hair as his tongue dances with yours. Making his way down your neck sucking the soft skin where your shoulder meets your neck between his teeth, then sooth it with his tongue. You know it’s going to leave a mark, you want it too. Even if this is just for tonight, you want Joel to mark you as his. But you had no idea how much he wants that too. To make you his.
Joel plunges his tongue back into your mouth as he dips his free hand where you need it most. His finger grazes your clit has he slips it through your slit, deep into your core with a audible squelch. You both swallow each others moans.
A breathy moan escapes your lips as he gathers some of your wetness to your swollen clit with tight circles.
“Christ baby…y’so wet. This all from me?” Joel breathes, as you pull back. He wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you.
“All day…a-always” you breath unable to get more out.
“Fuck” Joel groans as he pulls down your panties, seating himself back between your legs.
“Fuck..baby you feel s’good around my fingers”
Joel’s trusts his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace.
“J-Joel…it’s feels s-s good” you say through a stifled whimper.
“Don’t hold back baby. Lemme hear ya. Wanna hear how good I make you feel.” Joel purrs as he’s stroking that soft spongy spot so well.
Your climax crashes over you like a wave against a rocky coast. You couldn’t stop even if you tried.
“Fuu- J-Joel…it feels so good”
“Thats it baby let go”
You clench around his fingers perfectly as you fall over the edge.
“Doin’ so good for me sweetheart. Soundin’ so beautiful.”
Joel leaves a trail of kisses and praise in the valley between your breasts and down your stomach.
“Can I taste you sweetheart?” He growls as he nips at the insides of your thighs. Pupils blows wide open when you lock eyes with him.
“Please” you whine
Joel gives a few kitten licks up your center to watch you squirm, then dives in like a starved man eating his last meal. You thrusted your hips forward grinding into his face desperately chasing anything he’ll give you. Joel’s harder than he’s ever been before, head dripping with pre-come at the feeling of you grinding on his face to chase your release.
He’d give you this every single day if you’d let him. He doesn’t even care about his own release. He could drown in between your legs and die a happy man seeing the pleasure he gives you from his tongue on your face.
Tag List:
@vee-bees-blog @vie-is-punk @musings-of-a-rose-writes @iamsherlocked-1998 @frecklefacelm @thatoneobsessedlinguist-writes @alyhull @sj66 @merci-killing @whenmondaycomes @ellishamae25 @romabloo @jennaispunk @elizabeth4th @runningmom94 @closetedconsumer @alongfortheridereader @thegingerlily @starlite41 @sirensheartbeat-blog @pedropascalfan221 @vivian-pascal @mads198-9 @f1shb0nez @almodovarispunk @pedroslittlelady @collection-of-fucking-chaos @megjohnston23 @pascalispunks-blog @skully-skeleton-bone0106
@peanutweanut @joelalorian @mssalmighty @mountainsandmayhem @zipp7201 @folkloreandfall @steadydragongalaxy @ceceliamariee @starrynight57-blog
@nahchiefimgood @i-love-taylor @hc-geralt-23 @hopelessromantic727 @casispunk @ctrlaltdel3te @drewharrisonwriter @teddyitalia @mexicanfolklore
@enchantingfireduck @thatwierdgirlmaddi-blog @art-estrange @amy
@chiefevelyn @niallsblckgirlfriend @unnecesarysstuff @horses1012ans @morgaussy @jellybeanxc @stxory @lavenderallergy8 @sj66 @spacecowgirl1111 @tupelomiss @hauntedpoetsdepartment @aromanticfever @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @sweetperfectioncloud @honeymarvel @samarav @is-being-ignored-a-hobby @elliaze @kjo770 @amyispxnk
#the last of us#joel miller#pedro pascal#fanfic#joel miller x reader#neurodivergent#joel miller x f!reader#adhd#joel the last of us#joel tlou#ellie williams
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its very minor and i dont think anyone is genuinely even remotely trying to ~be ableist~ about it (or even that they are being ableist about it) but i wont lie. it sucks to see some of the ways people are mocking asm*ngold for his (admittedly very gross and unsanitary!) living conditions. like i saw somebody say "how could you or your loved ones allow it to get this bad" and its like.......
man. thats just how it is. you dont tell people you live like that (generally speaking, at least). the shame is unbelievable. unbearable. because of this exact attitude - how did you let it get this bad? and yeah, like, he's able bodied and rich and has the resources to Not Let That Happen, i get it. but idk. it sucks. i feel sensitive about it.
i live in, frankly, an unsanitary apartment with trash piled up everywhere, because its a full walk down the stairs and cross the parking lot to take my trash out, and thats hell on my hands AND feet; i can't stand long enough to wash all my dishes (even if i could im also wicked depressed); i have adhd so trying to do something about my clutter and organize it is overwhelming to the point of paralysis...
i dont know. i wish people were kinder, just in general, to this idea of people living like that. i don't WANT to be living like that. i just keep people out of my apartment, i dont mention it, i order takeout, i put roach traps down and ignore it. it's just too much and it's too easy to get that far. idk. it sucks. i hate my apartment
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I've seen quite a bit of talk about Dadmare and found family bad Sanses this past week and, you know, as someone who has been writing a fic that has a lot of elements of that for a while now, I do have some pretty strong opinions on the matter.
I honestly think I would be way more into regular fanon Dadmare if Killer was treated with the same compassion and nuance the others are afforded in it.
Because oftentimes what throws me off more than anything is that, like, Dust and Cross especially are allowed to have bad days and emotional outbursts (which is fair enough, they have some serious traumas to work through), but God forbid Killer gets a bit annoying! That clearly could never have an explanation rooted into his own trauma and his struggles.
I also despise the association that often happens with Killer having some very obvious ADHD symptoms and everybody considering him an idiot, fic included. Because that's literally just ableism 101.
Oh, you mean to tell me that the disorder that is most often used to denigrate people's intelligence is yet again being used like that? Oh, how innovative! /s
Also, I didn't mention Horror because, while Horror usually does get treated with more compassion and understanding than Killer, he also rarely is given any nuance. No thought is put into his trauma. Heck, often times he also leaves his home with no mentions of him ever going back when, like, this Nightmare isn't kidnapping people. Horror would never do that! He wouldn't just voluntarily leave his brother and his community! Not permanently at the very least.
I don't know. I generally like an exploration of role-reversals or what-if scenarios so one would think that "What if Nightmare was actually a nice guy?" would be right up my alley. But so many of the tropes that come with it just rub me the wrong way...
BASED BASED BASED BASED!!
I despise when people write killer with stereotypical adhd symptoms then use it to portray him as an idiot or just loud hyperactive and annoying? Or have the gang treat him as if he’s nothing more than a nuisance or an annoying child or a chore to deal with.
ADHD is an actual disorder that heavily impacts people’s lives, compacted on top of killers other disorders and trauma history. You mean to tell me that the gang is long suffering because killer was a little annoying that one time and not the one with the actual disorders?
The one who is usually portrayed as undiagnosed and unmedicated as well? The one who is literally getting no help or support from his so called “family” who is only just glaring at him and calling him an idiot? No one would be struggling more than killer, it’s not all just “lmao so silly im so loud.”
ADHD is more than that, and people should actually focus on how killer experiences it if you’re going to write him like that or directly have characters questioning if he has it.
Not to mention his entire ass dissociative disorder, cptsd, conditioned beliefs and behaviors and how the environment with the Bad Sanses will not “cure” his identity confusion and disturbances, very likely chronic pain and fatigue.
If Dust or Cross attack him like it’s so commonly portrayed, he’s not going to like or trust them in Stages 1 or 3, even if he provoked the fight or didn’t really care about it in Stage 2.
When he’s in Stage 1 he’d be terrified of them, and hed probably start thinking he did something to have deserved it, and he wouldn’t want to make them mad again so he’d go along with it even if it hurts. He’d attempt to kill them in Stage 3.
The man’s entire body is literally slowly melting due to his huge amounts of DT, he’s been shown to cough and choke on it. You can argue that his body is slowly dying and failing. You can even make the argument that he experiences degrees of blindness.
He can’t tell if anything around him is real or not either, imagine how often he has to convince himself that he’s not being tricked or played with or manipulated again. Imagine any potential denial and dissociative confusion he may face whenever his “family” treats him like shit. All this does is show him yet again that no one will look after him but him unless they gain something from it—and he can barely even do that because his ability to do so was taken from him.
Imagine if he thinks this is all just what’s supposed to happened, because They want it to happen, so he has no choice but to play the game.
And another thing I never see around is how Horror’s head wound would affect him. From what I’ve seen people treat it as if it’s just an aesthetic thing than an actual serious injury with its consequences.
All in all: Bad Sans Family is too focused on Cross, Dust, and sometimes even Nightmare. Killer and Horror need more attention and nuance. They can be more than just the “big soft giant” and the “hyperactive annoying child.”
{ @stellocchia }
#howlsasks#stellocchia#cw abelism#cw abuse#cw dissociation#utmv#sans au#sans aus#cw head injury#bad sans gang#bad sanses#nightmare’s gang#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#cross sans#nightmare sans#nightmare!sans#cross!sans#killer!sans#horror!sans#dust!sans#killertale sans#something new sans#murder sans#murder!sans#xtale cross#dreamtale nightmare#horrortale sans#dustale sans
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How long do you think mikey stayed in dimension X?
(Personality, I think like a week/weeks, cuz no way it was just a few hours and he already knows so much about the demention)
(And, how does he get months and hours confused?)
(I don't personally think he's been there long as 2 years because that would really mess up a person)
(But if I see an angsty fanfic 🤨(suddenly I ignore everything I said, like 'yea he's been there for 73736383years now' ))
OH I LIKE THIS ASK
im with you on that one actually! i also think he just stayed there for a few weeks. def less than a month. because for someone like mikey, being by his own in an unknown place no matter if he was doing alright, it would still have messed him up of it got too long. he NEEDS interactions with sentient beings that would keep him company and engage with him (looks at mutagen bomb mad max apocalypse mikey). Tho! he would have understood how a lot of things worked around in that dimension just for being there a few hours tbh, taking into consideration that it's a hostile environment for literally anyone who's an outsider. With this i mean, mikey def was forced to be a quick leaner since the first second after stepping trough the portal. ( tho rn im not taking into account mikey being good with kraang tech in general because he just was good with it since the start of the show tbh. i think it has something to do with the brothers actually being related to the kraang because of the milking worm from where the mutagen came from and all but. thats a whole other can of worms to be opened lol)
Plus! the kraang base was not difficult to find at all so mikey probably spend most of his time just checking out the perimeter and a way to get in (this is from where he could have triggered some security stuff and got to fight the kraang that ended up as his skull helmet and limb accessories lmao). It actually even appears as if that's mikey first attempt at getting in to rescue leatherhead.
Also! when they got back for a bit, mikey was actually happy and excited to be back in dimension x! Meaning that he doesn't truly see that place in a bad light MEANING that he doesn't really hold a bad memory of it. MEANING that he didn't stay there by himself long enough for living more traumas in there lmao
About his time confusion, i actually tie that to his adhd because of my own experience with having adhd. The passing of time for me is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KEEP A GRASP ON. By this i mean that it's really hard to tell hours/minutes have passed even when not hyperfixing on an activity, this also adds to mixing up days and weeks together. its hard man. ADDED TO ALL THIS, the fact that the dimension doesn't have an obvious sign of time passing (like day and night) would make mikey keeping up with it, while also just surviving, something of a nearly impossible task.
in conclusion
i still love when people headcanon mikey as staying there for literal years. i live for that angst. him eating kraang because of how hungry he got??? him getting captured by the kraang and getting tortured for months??? him getting to hate the pink color??? good stuff
#specifically i think he was there for like two weeks maybe lol#that def would feel like whole months#maybe even less lol#tmnt 2012#ask
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im impatient and the poll has three votes and that's more than enough for me so James potter it is
(some of these r common some r not)
JAMES POTTER HEADCANONS:
He either had anxiety, depression, or both
he definitely was a people pleaser, but not to the extreme extent people think he is— like this man did let him get walked over at times, that's certain, but he had a limit and if it was pushed, oh, you did not want to be on potter's bad side but he was most definitely a people pleaser and did not like conflict or being hated(this is me slightly projecting as a ppl pleaser who does not take to bullshit kindly)
yes I will forever and ever believe this man was pansexual
He actually had good style, like that boy was raised rich, you don't not expect him to dress nice and know how to????
He was selfish, but in the way of always wanting attention on him, which is also what led him to become a people pleaser. But he was more selfish when he was younger (like first and maybe a bit of second year) in the way he would make fun of others for attention, but he grew out of it because he realized that he was just hurting people and didn't like that
HE. WAS. TALL. (That's all for that one)
He did indeed bottle up his emotions, but not only because he was a people pleaser but because he felt like he didn't deserve to tell others what he was feeling. He thought that because of hurting others in the past(ie. Him making fun of Snape and others maybe) he didn't deserve to tell people he was hurting, so he kept it inside until eventually the dam broke and it all came to surface. He also did bc he was a ppl pleaser too tho
He used to have toxic friends in the past, which lead him to develop the start of his people pleasing mentality— so yk rich kids are gonna be mean and snobby, well, James used to be friends with kids like those, and yk it can be a dog eat dog world sometimes so- they turned on him, and he was rightfully upset at first, but then that upset turned to regret turned into being afraid of being alone and thus it began
he could play the guitar sub parly, he had taken an interest in it when he was younger but got bored with it
He also had adhd, no one could ever take this hc away from me
He used to have rlly bad separation anxiety from Effie when he was younger, but now it's better
He used to have a hyperfixation on dogs when he was younger so it was fun to him when he saw Sirius' Animagus
He collects things, not sure what but he does
He's an okay cook— not the best but he could survive if he had too
AAAAANNDDDD THATS ALL FOR NOW!!! I might come up with more at a later time but for now that's it LOLLL
#james potter kinnie#james fleamont potter#james potter#headcanon#james potter headcanon#jfp#marauders headcanon#marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s
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> Mer{Cure}Y <
I gots some drugs for yall fiends > plug back <
1 > No one wants to talk to each other Hi how are you? good thanks :) Nice day isnt it. It for sure is! Hey wyd. not much wbu. Im chilling. Same lol. what are you doing? Im watching something on youtube. Oh nice. Wbu? im watching anime. Oh cool. No wonder we are all fiends for some entertainment, because we are incapable of entertaining each other. 2 > The insecurity of not sounding smart makes everyone conform into a retarded form of one another. We all have the same views. The same topics are constantly being brought up. And when someone speaks about something new, everyone loses interest because no one can handle the reality that maybe they don't know something. Oh and the only reason you listen to each other is to get something from that person whether that be attention, or clout or whatever the fuck you define as your ends. Since most of us, are in a state of fear, we aren't able to talk about something we don't know about. 3 > Mercury is about confidence. And most of yall bite your tongues but love to act tough. Every person who has told me they are hard, is incapable of pushing the envelope. I think you are more caught up with your own image, and are afraid of not appearing tuff. But guess what true courage is about revolting against whats normal, or the courage to be wrong. Show dont tell true?. ANd im done hearing about whoever the fuck you think you are. Show me something interesting dont tell me what you think you are. Don't tell me what you want me to hear. 4 > Conversations are being ruined by people who are constantly telling others they are wrong. Excuse me fucker. But are you capable of arguing against me? No beyond that. Can you stick to the conversation at hand, or are you going to source the same sources every SJW ever has cited. Your not even a real person, your just mimicrying beliefs you believe in. Pathetic tbh. Hey whatever more people will agree with you because we are all jsut looking for a place to belong. so good for you. You chose the easy way out bravo. I thought conversations were a place to discuss and learn. But your so focused on being correct. to me you look wrong, but you do 'sound' right because well .. to reiterate we all want to be right so we band together with whats acceptable. 5 > School fucked you. You were told to sit down and stfu. and if you were invested in to the conversation in the class room. You were memed on by all ur class mates. School breeds insecurity, and teaches people to sit down. Thats why some of yall are so forceful in standing up for yourself. Trying to break the chains of the past. And before you point the finger at me. Don't shoot the messenger. we were all brainwashed, I dont blame anyone trying to change the foundations of your past, considering how fucked it all really is 6 > "Im not that smart" This is just an excuse. Learning everyone can do. You just need to concentrate and put effort in. "oh I canT beCauSe I HaVe ADHD" well my bad just take more of that meth shit that way you can turn into mini hitler and become smart I guess. Also if your so insecure go cry to your psychologists like ffs. Eveyrone can be smart. YOu just need to develop your confidence > Rule 3 <
7 > You learn from what you see. monkey see monkey do. if your surrounded by a bunch of dumb cunts. YOur a dumb cunt now. If your being put down by people in your clique you are surrounded by negativity. If your being constantly praised for nothing you are surrounded by yes man. Find diversity. use discrepency. Its perfectly okay to judge people. stop suppressing that urge to appear 'normal' Many people are not normal but we are so caught up in trying to act normal when we are all pretty fucky 8 > The past was different and so will be the future. Would you shut the fuck up with the pessmism. Things will change. You need to be open to receiving it. You've had happy times as much as youve had bad times. ANd if your trapped in a big pit hole of death. well you better get climbing because no one can be bothered to help anyone anymore because we are probably the most selfish we've ever been ever (social mediaaaaasaa) and the adults are still trying to adjust to the internet because the world been flipped (itll flip again) 9 > No one cares about your opinion more than you Thats why your so uncomfortable speaking your truth. Because everyone is more into their own truths. So we practise the art of self affirmation by denying other peoples truths. When everything exists for a reason. WE are so caught up in making our own manifestations true by denying others 'truths.' Selfish cunts.... But hey wtf am I saying Im just an anonymous pluto I don't know shit ;')
My next post is my last post. Don't cry. I have my reasons. My next post however is going to my >master piece< ;')
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Candle Light Meditation: The Peculiar Treatment for Insomnia, Irregular Sleep Patterns, and ADHD
Hi everyone! Today Im writing about a new meditation trick Ive been testing out and Ill be sharing how to do it if youre interested.
Why I chose to do it
While I may like to do old man things, sitting at home and watching candle lights werent really my idea of a good time. However in the past few weeks Ive had really big issues maintaining a healthy sleep pattern and Ive always struggled with ADHD and getting school work done. I was told by a buddy of mine about mindfulness meditation and that has helped my adhd in the past so I figured this was worth a go!
Candle Light Meditation Craze
If you go to google or youtube youll certainly find all kinds of gurus and spiritualists suggesting this meditation will "decalcify your pinal gland" which would be something impacting most of us around the age 18-30 depending on diets and things like that
Here is the issue THERE IS NO RESEARCH TO SUGGEST THIS PRACTICE DECALCIFIES YOUR PENAL GLAND. So to say if that happens or not is not my place. Im a dude who posts bangers on the internet, not a neuro scientist.
What it did do
Despite the research not being there. I can tell you in the few days of doing it I have noticed my focus has sharply improved. My fatigue isnt so bad either. My sleep schedule hasnt improved to much yet but hey! Im a college student Im busy chatting and making friends (doing essays lol).
I believe some of these symptoms are associated with the pinal gland but again, I have no idea. All I can tell you is I do eat frozen foods often and this did help. I dont have a CT scanner in my room so beyond that I have no idea lol.
How to do candle light meditation
Grab a candle, light it and turn off as many lights to get the room as dark as you can. Try to use a candle with a still flame and turn off fans aswell.
Try to focus on the most solid part of the flame for a few seconds up till 3 minutes. You ideally want to do this until you feel a fuzzy feeling in your head.
Turn away from the candle and close your eyes, you should see the imprint of the flame, stare at that for as long as you can until it goes away.
Try to do repeat process 3 times a day (in one setting) for 5 days. Usually by 5 days you should begin to feel a strange tiredness in your mind. This is what your looking for. You are overloading that part of the brain because its not really being used. Much like trying to run for the first time in a few months.
The end result
Around day 5 you should find yourself being able to focus more! Ive also heard some people report it helps them with creative writing aswell but I cant attest to that.
Let me know what you guys think! Hope it helps :>
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what are ur fav useless hcs. about kevin or anyone from aftg :) like they aren’t really significant but just little things you like to think about. bc i have so many but no one ever talks about theirs and im curious if you have any!
YAY i love this question and also feel free to send me yours too i think useless hcs are really fun
i think renee is a fast and furious fan and an action movie enthusiast….. in the first kevjean fic i’ve ever written there was a scene where she sat jean down and made him watch half of the fast and furious franchise with her and he hated it so bad but he couldnt tell her that so he just sat there very awkwardly the whole time. and renee knew he hated it but she loves the damn movies so much she thought it was a worth it sacrifice. i also love a dyslexia/adhd hc for renee, i think she has a hard time in academia and has a really really really fickle attention span. if you put jean and renee in the same room they might be able to finish a short book between them but its going to take at least 8 hours because they're going to get sidetracked talking to each other about dumb stuff
ex smoker jeremy is still real and beloved in my heart... i think he quit cold turkey in his junior year and it still gets him more often than not, but he's trying and that's all that matters
neil shoplifts on instinct. doesnt even think twice of it
kevin actually HATES the gym. he will not confess to this in any way shape or form but he genuinely hates it. its so early in the morning and the movements are so repetitive and its so boring. in evermore at least there was the threat of getting beaten up if he didnt do his sets right, but in psu its just plain boring. he will still go but he will hate every second. get this man to a court now
jean is horrible with performing small actions :) i think he has big shaky hands that struggle w the minutiae of any process ever. you do NOT want to ask this man to put thread through a needle or give you an injection or pack you a bowl or even light your cigarette. the #irreversible damage of multiple head injuries
also do let me know urs cause i also love hearing about this kind of stuff! i love small hcs... save me mundane realities of life. save me characters with little details
#if you combine jeans shaky hands with the gym you get a man who almost broke kevins foot in evermore three different times bc of#dropping weights#ITS HARD OUT HERE..........................#also i think renee is such an adrenaline junkie but she knows its bad for her so she lives vicariously thru fast and furious#renee when she has a bad day: oh vin diesel we're really in it now#this is less of a tiny hc but i actually think renee is really good w being alone? i feel like shes really good at enjoying her own company#stephanie couldnt be around her all the time so she learned how to entertain herself#so i think shes one of those people that dont ever get lonely at all. she loves the world so bad and it loves her back#shes very mary oliver saying time spent alone is still time spent w the world#asks#renee#kevin#jean#neil#jeremy
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u do murderiplier with a reader that has ADHD please im begging you????? like the reader just has a hard time sitting still and just like remembering things and is always jumping from one thing to another and is just like cant focus plllss
FOCUS --- (Murderiplier x reader)
SUMMARY: Being ADHD does not help when you a killers apprentice. Yet here you are, sobbing your eyes out to a man who might not even care.
CONTENT: angst, self doubt, fluff.
NOTES: not so fun fact, I am severely ADHD so I just based this off of how mine can get sometimes. It's a little sad ik but there's a cute ending.
⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝
Pinching the bridge of his nose Murdoc sighed. Even through his darkened sunglasses you could still tell he was disappointed. The best killer in the world and his apprentice can't even match his level. You knew you shouldn't have started working with him but you'd already tried everything under the sun. He finds it difficult to deal with you enough as is and you know he's going to kick you out soon enough. Now, everytime he speaks you jump. Your lips fall into a thin line and you advert your gaze else where. All you ever did was cause the man issues and you knew he just has to hate you. Sometimes you'd find him staring at you in what looked like disgust. Nausea crawls up your spine, the thought of yourself like a bad after taste.
"Fuck." He groans. Wiping the blood from your brow, you bite your lip and turn to leave. Splices of pain alive through your feet with every step reminding you just how annoying you are. Knowing the cops will arrive soon, you make your way out the door sluggishly taking the knife with you while Murdoc watches you with a pitiful gaze. He knows you can't help it when you get excited, and he can't be mad at you for that but you cost him a lot now. Not that you cared enough to pay any attention to that once you got into those self deprecating state of minds. Dreading what's to come he trails after you to the car and gets in with you.
Once you got moving on the road everything was a blur, the thought whirling around your head like a tsunami if hatred and embarrassment. Jumping out of the car was a better choice than this, but no matter how hard you fight to reach for that handle the fear clings to you more. It's all you can do not to scream your fucking lungs out. Murdoc senses your lingering disappointment, the silence is gagging him like a noose. You're just a kid, you don't belong in his line of work and you don't belong with him. At the same time he knows he should let you go but he just can't do it, not when you're so much like him.
"Kid I-" The silence is sharply broken by a dull and broken voice. "Do you hate me doc?" You ask. Your heart throbs in your chest as choked sobs slip past your wet lips. It's hard to keep contained when all you can feel is a compression of such depreciating and sad thoughts. A need to be swooned like a baby, to be held on someone's arm take you whole and you curl into yourself. Looking at you sparing he rests a hand on your shoulder and squeezes firmly. It's never been this bad before. By now you should have been on a completely different subject, telling him all about the thing you know and ideas you hold in that big ol' brain of yours.
"No." He finally says. Looking back at the road he takes a moment to recollect his thoughts. His singular work however didn't help your case anymore. Looking out the window you watch the buildings rush by, they remind you just how fleeting each moment it. It's quite similar to your thoughts, in fact you can't help but look on in disarray as you mind jumps from place to place.
"Can we pick up something to eat?" You quietly ask. He frowns at how quiet your voice is. The small rasp at the end tugs his heart strings even more. You've dealt with enough of his bad support today as is, he can't handle seeing you so down when you're normally not. "Sure kid. Of course." Your heart thrums happily in your chest and you wipe your teary eyes. "Really?" You ask. It's almost like you expected him to say no, you've never asked before though. When he glances at you his stomach does flips, you have a small smile tugging at your lips as you look at him with adoration in you eyes. "Thank you."
⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝
Smells of fast food fills the car as home grows closer. You're smiling and dipping you hands into the warm bag of food in your lap. Looking over at you Murdoc feels content with himself, a feeling he's long forgotten since child hood. To see you bring this back to him warms him with joy. In a way, you're like his kid more than his apprentice and he could never trade you for anything. Even if you're hyper sometimes. "I love you kid." The sound of his gruff voice pulls your attention to him. Eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights you stare at him in awe. When he looks over to see your face he cracks a smile. "Don't look at me like that squirt."
You chortle as his choice on nickname. "Squirt?" He nods and stares out at the road ahead. "You mean like mad dad did to my mom when he-"
Muffled cackling ensues as he slaps a hand over your mouth. "Too far!" He claims. You just stick your tongue out to lick the palm of his hand. Giggling like a loon you watch as he vigorously wipes your saliva on his pants. "Really?" He exclaims. Snorting, you cup your own hand over your mouth to take a deep breath before letting out another wheeze. "It's not that funny." He deadpans. Letting out one last giggle, you smile. "I love you too, doc."
#Murderiplier#markiplier x reader#markiplier egos x reader#ahwm x reader#iswm x reader#markiplier cinematic universe
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my marauders headcannons <3
Remus Lupin
heterochromia. I don't care what the films say this man has two different coloured eyes tyvm. the left ones dark brown, nearly black, and the right is a light shade of amber.
DYSLEXIA !! my dyslexic little mate we can match. he absolutely adores reading but it takes him longer if he doesn't use a spell (ty to MsKingBean89 for the spell idea mon ami(e))
hEDS. me too king
cat lover. he absolutely adores cats and sirius gets SO jealous. I think he absolutely owned a cat at some point b4 he started teaching and he dotted on that cat
wears elastics on his wrists (specifically during hogwarts for sirius and lily, but kept wearing them after out of habit </3)
Sirius Black
hard of hearing. I think he probably lost it cos his mum hit his ears or screamed so often at him in close quarters. he'd definitely be vv resentful over it too cos now he's not able to listen to music much
audhd fr. this man was definitely neurodivergent but he must be just like me and be autistic and have adhd cos yh
he whined. loads. not like whinging but like genuinely high pitched whines when he was frightened or upset, kind of like Enid from Wednesday
adored kids but was terrified to have them because of how his mum was
this is gonna be controversial but idc. this man absolutely fancied Remus when he was shagging women, but at one point dated Marlene and Remus at the same time. it's ok tho cos Marlene was kissing Mary on the side
James Potter
vegetarian. refused to eat meat after he became an animagus because it felt cruel, but ESPECIALLY wouldn't eat deer jerky ("it's practically cannibalism, padfoot!")
mama's boy through and through !! this man LOVED his mummy. told her all about his friends and Lily
taught Sirius how to treat people and house elves better when they were first years. you can't tell me this man wasn't the reason sirius wanted to improve himself
he fought w sirius a lot. im sorry I love them both but brothers fight and like. even found family brothers. sirius is the most petty bitch you cannot tell me that James didn't get annoyed or frustrated with some of Sirius' habits and didn't begin arguments over them
so bad w kids until Harry. he was absolutely terrified of them, cos he never had interacted with them much before he had his own, my man Sucked at babysitting and frequently panicked whilst lily was pregnant because he was scared he'd be a bad parent
Peter Pettigrew
#1 James fan. my guy didn't go anywhere if James wasn't going to be there
become You Know because of his jealousy of James and Sirius' friendship
aroace fr. absolutely Disgusted w the amount of PDA by jily and wolfstar
tried to protect Harry for as long as he could w out being suspicious. he still loved James and Lily, and their son, and was just too scared to fight back at You Know Who once James and Lily were dead
a whole virgin, never even tried getting with anyone before he realised he was aroace
Lily Potter (Evans)
actually thought the Marauders were pretty funny but put on a face because of being friends with Snape
a whole pansexual queen
bought everyone in Gryffindor Christmas gifts, or if they were Jewish/Muslim/any other religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas she'd figure out when their holiday was and got them gifts
first person Remus came out to. and she accepted him immediately because she knows what it feels like to be an outcast
so autistic. her special interest was absolutely Jane Austen books I take no criticism <3
Regulus Black
hated his mum just as much as Sirius, but actively tried to conform because he was too scared to be hurt by her
was angry with Sirius for running away, even if he understood why Sirius did it, it still hurt him immensely. that was his older brother, the only one he could talk to, and when he left, it broke off the little bit of familial love he had left
in love w Barty Crouch Jr. I DO NOT CARE. platonic my aSS they were boyfriends, but they hid it very well. absolutely such a healthy couple before the war though. got together when they were 13 or 14 by accident, and stayed together until Reg died
actually really enjoyed being called Reg and Reggie, but pretended to hate it so he wouldn't be perceived as weak or soft by his mum
chess fucking champion
Marlene McKinnon
the flirtiest person you'll ever meet. flirted with everyone but was actually an aromantic lesbian
loved her family unconditionally, and constantly was going home on weekends to help her mum before she died of breast cancer
hated school, she was dyslexic and never told anyone so everyone just thought she was a dumb blonde
half Japanese, but her biological father left when she was a baby, so she wasn't really in tune with that part of her culture.
got bullied in primary school for being the "only dumb Asian"
Mary Macdonald
the most supportive person you'll ever meet
helped the younger POC in Gryffindor take care of their hair properly, and absolutely was like an older sister to all the young girls
not a mean bone her body
muggle born, but she grew up with a friend that had a wizard father so she knew about magic before Hogwarts
terrified of dogs, except for Padfoot, because of being bitten by one when she was in nursery
Dorcas Meadowes
a lesbiannnn. she was in love with Pandora, and they dated for a while before she decided she was done with the Wizarding World and cut contact with everyone
slytherin, but she was friends with everyone
loved Quidditch
oh she was a Pureblood but her parents died when she was young and she stayed with a squib aunt til hogwarts
took muggle studies and would hex any Slytherin who made fun of her for it
Pandora Lovegood (Lestrange)
a Lestrange until marriage
terrified of Narcissa and Bellatrix, but was one of the bridesmaids at Bellatrix's wedding
Ravenclaw, but best friends with Dorcas, Regulus, Barty, and Evan and was hardly if ever in her own common room
she ADORED muggle musicals
her and Dorcas met in a Care of Magical Creatures class in third year and immediately became best friends
Evan Rosier
really homophobic outwardly but was in the closet (for a HOT minute)
flirted with girls constantly
super protective over Pandora and Dorcas
had the worst penmanship and Regulus and Barty both refused to help him with homework because of it
managed to be the only Slytherin who sucked at potions
Barty Crouch Jr.
gay little lad with gay handwriting
LOVED cats. this man was the BIGGEST cat lover I do not care im right ur wrong. absolutely adored them
had a little sister who he was really protective over, she was in Hufflepuff and died during her 4th year which is what made him follow Regulus into joining up w the Death Eaters
daddy and mummy issues for days. bro never had a civil conversation w them
he absolutely beloathed Walburga and Orion Black when he found out what they did to Regulus, but obviously never said anything about it
#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#lily evans#lily potter#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#regulus black#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#dorcas meadowes#peter pettigrew#pandora lestrange#pandora lovegood#the marauders#bartylus#jily headcanon#wolfstar#slytherin skittles#slytherin#gryffindor#ravenclaw#hufflepuff
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Notting Hill (HAILEE STEINFELD X FEM!READER)
hello, this is my 1st fanfiction about Hailee. I'll try my best to give to you a great reading. Im not used to write character x reader, but i'll give a try since i read these one a lot.
I decided to write this one after a lot of thinking and because i saw the post of @kates-abs-slay talking about the fics about hailee x reader being scarce. so this first chapter is special to them <3
Sinopse: Y/N owns a bookstore in Notting Hill, London, and when the famous actress Hailee Steinfeld walks into her shop to buy a book, her world is turned upside down.
CHAPTER ONE – Words: 1.246
based on the filme Notting Hill (1999)
warnings: none in this chapter; (I have ADHD and Dyslexia, and english is not my first language, so maybe you'll see some mistakes.)
Chapter One
Y/N opens the door from her house and sees the loud street with people and cars all around. "New morning", she thinks as starts to walk through the street, in just a few steps she would be at her store, the thing she loved the most.
"Of course, I've seen her films and always thought she was, well, fabulous -- but, you know, million miles from the world I live in. Which is here -- Notting Hill -- not a bad place to be..." Y/N heard two mature men talking, while walking throught the street.
A bell ring right up head.
"I'll call you later mom", Y/N see her best friend hanging up on their phone.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, you know how Ms. Martin is, always asking how the store is going....""
Y/N agrees with just a nod, putting her bag on the top of the balcony, not realy paying atenttion to her friend words.
"... should I get you cup of coffee? a capuccino?"
"Coffee would be nice, thanks"
Y/N is looking some papers when she heards the bell ring one more time.
"Wow, that was fast... - Y/N turn her attention to the door and get surprised - oh, welcome! Can I help you?"
"No, thanks. I'll just look around." said the brunnett who just entered the store.
Y/N couldn't help but follow every step the girl was taken in her store, somehow she seems familiar. The girl was a bit tall, had a long brown hair, and her eyes... well she couldn't see them because the mysterious girls was wearing sunglasses.
The bell on the door ring for the third time, and her friend entered with her cup of coffee, followed up by a costumer. Her friend didn't notice the girl on the store until they gave Y/N order.
Y/N's friend reaction was weird and funny, she mummured something that she couldn't understand and went right to the employeer's room.
Y/N saw the brunette wanders over to a shelf and pick up out a red book.
"That book's really not good -- just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money." Y/N said
"Really?"
"Yes. This one though is... very good. – Y/N picks up a book on the counter. – I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. There's also a very amusing incident with a kebab."
Y/N suddenly spies something odd on the small TV monitor behind the brunette.
"Excuse me a moment, please" –
Y/N said before walks to a bookcase in the back of the shop. She didn't notice, but the eyes of the bruntte followed her steps.
"Excuse me."
"Yes."
Answered a tall man with a low voice.
"I have bad news."
"What?"
"It's the 21 century we've got a security camera in everyplace at this store."
"So?"
"So, I saw you put that book in your pants."
"What book?"
"The one down in your pants"
Y/N was having fun with that, it's one of the joys in working, and own, a bookstore, get a thief when they don't wait for it.
"I haven't got a book in my pants."
"Right -- well, then we have an impasse in here. I tell you what -- I'll call the police -- and, what can I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole book-in-your-pants scenario, I really apologize."
"Okay -- what if I did have a book in my pants?"
"Well, ideally, when I went back to the balcony, you'd remove the Cadogan guide to Bali from your pants, and either wipe it and put it back, or buy it.""
Y/N smiled, having fun with the poor man that didn't know how to hide himself, and a book. She walked directly to the balcony, the brunette was right in the corner with a blue book, waiting for her.
"Sorry abou that..."
"No, that's fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I've changed my mind."
Y/N smiled at the slightest joke made by her customer. She liked her sense of humor. And suddenly the thief was right there beside them.
"Excuse me Ms. Steinfeld can I have your autograph?"
That's it! That's why the brunette seemed so familiar, she was Hailee Steinfeld, and Y/N had watch a film starring her a few weeks back. The filme was still in theater.
"Sure, what's your name?"
She seemed to having fun with this.
"Rufus."
She signs his scruffy piece of paper and he was trying to read.
"What does it say?"
"Well, that's the signature -- and above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you belong in jail."
"Nice one. Would you like my phone number?"
"Tempting but... no, thank you."
Y/N laughed but hide it right after. That girl was something else. She saw the thief, known as Rufus, leaving the store.
"I think I will try this one."
The brunette said handing Y/N a blue book and a note of $50. Now her sunglasses was on the top of her head and Y/N could see those beautiful and breath taken brown eyes. For a moment, she felt she couldn't speak on move.
The bell ring one more time, announce that the brown eyes girl left the store.
"Where's my coffee?" Y/N whispered
"Beside the computer, but I think it's already cold" –
Y/N friends answered entering the common area again.
"I don't think you'll believe who was just in here." –
Y/N said taking her coffee and drinking a sip. Ugh, it was cold.
"Hailee Steinfeld... I said it to you when i brought your coffee Y/N!""
"Oooh, that's what you're saying!"
Y/N smiled, feeling stupid for a few seconds.
"What is she doing here?" – she continued
"Well, twitter says she's filming a new film here in England"
"Another? But there's one with her in the theater right now..."
"She's an actor Y/N, I believe that's what she do" –
Her friend laughed.
"Yeah, yeah... she seems to work a lot" –
Y/N takes another sip of coffee
"Ugh, this is awful. Im going to buy another one" –
She takes her jacket and went to the door. The bell ring one more time.
Y/N was walking fast in the sidewalk, her mind remebering those amazing brown eyes she looked right into, when out of the blue she bumped into someone.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" – they said together, automatically
When Y/N paid attention she was right in front of Hailee Steinfeld, her shirt was all wet and you could see a litte bit of her bra due to the juice that was spilled when they bumped into each other.
"Here, let me help" –
Y/N said taking off her jacket and giving to Hailee.
"Thanks"
"Listening – Ms. Steinfeld, huh, I live just over the street, I can help you, maybe you can wear one of mine t-shirt or – even taking a shower"
"Don't call me that" – She said simply
"Huh?"
"Ms Steinfeld – don't call me that. Ms Steinfeld is my mom, I'm Hailee – and how close is your house? I cannot go like that to an interview, my agent will kill me"
"Yeah.. I'm sorry Hailee – you see that blue building across the street?"
"Yes"
"It's right there, I live there"
Hailee looked to Y/N, grabbed her things and started walk directly to the bulding. Y/N followed her thinking that this day was getting too weird.
#hailee steinfeld#hailee steinfeld x reader#kate bishop x reader#kate bishop#kate bishop x you#kate bishop x female reader#kate bishop x y/n#hailee steinfeld x y/n#notting hill (1999)#hailee steinfeld x fem!reader#fanfic#fanfiction#queer community#lgbtq fanfic#wlw post#wlw fiction
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some pre-game batim headcanons :>
Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!
Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house
more under the cut !!
Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me
Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once
Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia
Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff
Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol
Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot
Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀
Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving
Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi
Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy
#batim#bendy and the ink machine#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#headcanons#joey drew#henry stein#wally franks#sammy lawrence#norman polk#susie campbell#allison pendle#buddy lewek#daniel lewek#daniel buddy lewek#tom connor#thomas connor#jack fain#grant cohen#shawn flynn#the projectionist#buddy boris#allison angel#alice angel#malice angel
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Hi i saw your post about hot shot being a rodiclash kid and you’re so right you are correct and speaking gods truth and you have opened my eyes and now i’m having thoughts about it and you started this so now I’m sharing them with you <3
I’m mostly thinking of hot shot’s personality and where they came from and i have come to the angsty conclusion that it comes somewhere from being told conflicting information on his parents, mainly rodimus. Because like imagine you’re him, you’re a kid, and your sire has this fan club that loves him and always talks about how awesome he is, and you agree! Dads great! But then they start talking about your other parent, and they really don’t like him. They say he’s too arrogant, not worthy of Thunderclash. You love both your parents and so you’re kinda confused and you’re a child so yknow peer pressure is a pretty big thing when you have no idea about your own identity. But then sire is telling you that actually carrier is the best, he’s amazing and you shouldn’t listen to those people, but they’re really loud. They’re so loud that while you’re able to be unaffected towards your carrier, loving them just the same, you can’t stop finding those traits they hate in him in yourself. And it all eventually devolves into this horrible soup of acting like you’re the best and perfect to hide from how conflicted and kinda bad you feel about yourself.
Or yknow the lighter route of him just kinda being a cocky kid because kids are just cocky a lot
Sorry this was a lot but you had me thinking hard and this is now my new hc kid for them and you are now the only person i know who agrees with this and so i must share with somebody or i will implode
RAUUGUGHGHH FIRST OF ALL. THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON and happy new year! it's such a joy to know my silly transformers posts from years ago are still running around the block.... and SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY HEADCANON!!!! also i love getting asks. best gift ever. I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH THIS mostly for the rodimus hateclub because me and my friends always used to joke about it...but it's very real in my heart im so sorry rodimus. even if ur a good guy deep down. i know the tabloids were craaaazy when word got out he had a sparkling. i think fatherhood was his redemption arc unironically--like hotshot era rodimus WAS A DIFFERENT MAN. but that stressor of performance that he'd probably put on in front of hot shot definitely i think would factor into his (hot shots) behavior. rodimus is already so impulsive and good at hiding insecurities to a fault, and kids READ EMOTIONS DISTURBINGLY WELL so it's definitely. a behavioral cuckoo house. it's like almond moms but for ADHD supression. thunderclash was like. already perfect and the supportive dad so i have nothing to say here on that topic it's relatively obvious how he'd parent--but i do think he'd be the type to want to parent privately knowing their own fame so then it's also like; why are my parents hiding me from the public lol. i know they're arguing on when to bring this kid out. i have so much drama in my head. im rereading this and realizing it barely has anything to do with your own anon but it caused some of my old ideas to resurface so i will SHARE THEM HERE NOW!!!
#talking about robot mpreg in 2024 wasn't on my bucket list but it takes me back#HAHAHA#ask#anon#transformers#mtmte#rodiclash#hot shot#rodimus#thunderclash#tf
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GODDD YOUR BRAIN. a lot of what you said is stuff ive been thinking about for literal years and esp now with my most recent playthrough of 1 and 2. the video was great and i also found a pdf for orientalism that i will be picking through as i have the time for it. ive had a post in my drafts ive been working on for a few days. specifically about how the crimson raider leadership (excluding moxxi and including the vault hunters) is comprised entirely of corporate settlers and how that still absolutely fuels their ideology when it comes to the bandit clans. tannis, zed, and pierce are all dahl, marcus has been both siding every conflict since the beginning of mankind, and roland and the ENTIRE military force of the crimson raiders (excluding the vhs) are atlas leftovers. and ofc its seen as necessary because there needs to be bodies between them and hyperion so every injustice against the planet is forgiven. its hardly even mentioned. even moxxi, who is pandoran born, profits in just. outright massacring the population with her fighting rings. (the underdome was sponsored by every corporation, including the shield manufacturers.) the desire that the raiders have to protect pandora just feel like protecting the. thirty or so people who live with them because everyone else is seen as not worthy to the point where mass execution and displacement is encouraged. im not going to talk about bl3 because im a bit rustier on it at this point but in FFS thats an issue brought up at the very start of the dlc: the crimson raiders are losing power and arent needed anymore because jack is gone. like they arent doing any great help to the planet. theyre not even wanted by the end of 2. side tangent but the two things that stand out to me the most on first thoughts are: destroying the eridium mine supplying sledges men in one (after already killing him and half the settlement) and doing straight up environmental warfare in 2 when freezing out the bloodshots. its just unnecessary cruelty. im sorry for taking so long to type this out i have. untreated adhd 😔
No no no it's okay speak your mind!!!
Also some additional things I didn't have the place to say in my answer:
One, you could very easily interpret bl1 and particularly bl2 as an extended metaphor for American destabilization and subsequent media treatment of the Middle East. Except Gearbox themselves is parroting the in-universe perception of Pandora as a "barren wasteland where nobody lives", i.e. the myth of terra nullius. Despite all evidence to the contrary.
Two, 2 specifically has an anti-colonialist narrative. Handsome Jack is a colonizer and you oppose him. But within this opposition is a DISTINCT subtext of "yeah he wants to kill off the bandits of Pandora but he also considers the Normal People, like Salvador and your friends to be bandits!", not "bandits are also humans with dignity". I'm not sure if the former is the conclusion the writers want you to arrive at, but it kind of feels like it.
Three, if I remember correctly the first time a tink (xenohuman/mutant) was not presented as part of the subhuman orientalized faction was fucking New Tales. And I think there was one in Debt or Alive as well (including a tongue in cheek joke about how calling your enemies slurs is kinda bad actually). Yet again, either the writers can't comprehend someone disabled in a not-"cool scifi" way being human, or the Borderlands universe has ridiculous amounts of ableism and baseliner supremacist (can you tell I love Rimworld's terminology for this sort of stuff) sentiment. But homophobia isn't real so that's funny haha right guys??????
As for 3... yeah there isn't much there. Ellie tells us that Pandora has been drained of all resources, Tyreen tells us what I already addressed, fucking Vaughn man. I'm sure I could say smth more coherent on all that but I can't rn, brain fried.
Then there's the Looters and Frostbiters and Devil Riders, who for gameplay purposes are reskinned bandits for the DLCs, but they aren't stated to be bandits for... what reason exactly, aside from geographic isolation (all the other bandits across the galaxy are universally homogenized so...)? I mean, frostbiters even associate into clans like bandits do...
And I do highly suggest you read Orientalism, it's a foundational text in post-colonial studies for a reason, but I find that it also applies incredibly well to media analysis :)
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