#im sure the symbolism in here doesnt mean anything

[cookiesnpaste]

wow! its almost like this dude has lore or smtn idk

[nishitanis-left-nut]

im not that great at analyzing characters and reading into subtext and all that but tumblr has opened my eyes and made me think more about majimas queerness and then i remembered Hannya-Man and its like. its not even subtext the text is hitting you over the head with The Implications.

[theriverbeyond]

arcane s2 act 2 THOUGHTS, overall I think this was a lot stronger than the first act --- at the end of the day arcane is a character and relationship (primarily sisterhood/brotherhood/parent-child/family) driven show above all else, with plot as a sort of loose secondary, so like, even though i DO have plot critiques they're feel a lot softer just because the arc was genuinely so enjoyable to watch on an emotional level. anyway #SPOILERS and critiques below. well more like one big excessively long critique but I spent ages typing it all up so here it is:

i think my big critique thus far is pacing and story planning. there is just... a lot going on, for a 9 episode show. like a LOT. like way too much. and I think this was obvious in the first arc, and better managed in this arc -- but that is largely because this arc wildly narrowed the focus. this arc totally left out Ekko and Hermidinger(i can never remember his name. the squirrel dude), the new enforcer squad were basically back to being background characters, and while Sevika, Jayce, Victor, Cait, Ambessa were all present/involved in plot, they all took a big backseat screentime-wise. This allowed the act to really focus in on Jinx & Vi, Jinx and Vi & Vander, and Jinx & Isha, which is of course where the arc really shines -- but it brings BIG concerns for act 3, where presumably we will be back to having a full plate of characters. So I expect the "too much going on" issue to be more obvious in act 3, which is disappointing because that's like, the finale.

following from the above, there's a lot of skipping around that feels very economical but also like.... WEIRD! like.... we are watching a highlight clipshow? or something? Salo gets told "hey check out this healer" -> next time we see him he is totally healed. WHAT? like sure i dont care about him as a character, but that just feels kinda.... like we are really squeezing in here huh!! and we go from seeing Victor heal one dude in act1 -> next time we see him he has set up a whole commune and is playing big jesus. WHAT???? we dont get to see anythijg in the middle?? what about Jinx and Isha reuniting after escaping Stillwater but before finding Vi??? etc etc etc? and sure those scenes would be not be necessary on a "the plot doesnt work without them" level, but these types of "TITLE CARD READS: 2 DAYS LATER, AFTER THE GANG SETTLES IN" situations are happening SO frequently in this season that it really seems like they have too much story to fit into the time they are given, and are now aggressively trimming anything they can so stuff will fit and still make sense.

Basically what I'm saying is the show feels like my twitter reads, where Im a verbose mf and have to aggressively abbreviate words and cut sentences and rambling when I tweet so it can fit the character limit. and sure I don't need all those extra characters and words to convey my full meaning but "economical with time" is not really the best compliment I could give a show. Like why do you have to be so economical. why are we pinching pennies seconds here instead of modifying the plot to improve the pacing.

shallow critique but the "Jinxers" all getting blue hair and pronouns and pink accents was weird. like..... Jinx has a lot of symbols, like the monkey or the shark or whatever, that they could have easily done something like that. and the blue hair is GOOFY!!! the only one who gets a pass is Isha, bc her hair clearly looks like a quick dye/paintjob, versus everyone else who looks like they went to a salon.

I think this is, again, an issue of screentime economics, but im honestly disappointed in the CaitVi reunion. it's not that I dislike the scenes themselves, but it all feels so... easy! fast! like their breakup felt so emotionally resonant and them making up felt so quick. I have my fingers crossed for Consequences (and fallout from both Vi's alcoholic era and Cait's rebound bedsharing) next act, especially based on the preview, but like.... we have so much other stuff to tie up I am just not sure there is enough time for them to really deliver the impact that the breakup promised.

I've been told that they always planned for 2 seasons and had everything plotted out beforehand but the pacing is... really weird for something they had so meticulously planned for two seasons. It feels a LOT more like they wrote a story they wanted to tell, they were then given 18 episodes in which to tell it, and they decided they liked their original story so much that they didn't want to cut anything even though 18 episodes is a huge squeeze for this number of characters/this level of plot complexity.

And I think the quality difference is SO noticeable between the acts that are tight and focused (like this arc here, or the original season 1 act 1 -- both were tightly focused around Vander family dynamics, with some B and C plots. Compare that to act 1 of s2, which feels like trying to the contents of an entire pringles can into my mouth at once)

Related to that, I keep getting the sense that the writers want Specific Events to happen -- they want Jinx to care for someone that represents Powder, in order to coax out that part of her again. They want Cait and Vi to pull a doublecross deception on Ambessa. They want Victor to lead a jesus cult. etc. And then they draw a line from A to B in the most efficient way possible instead of doing things in a way that feels natural or actually rewarding. And then of course the specific Thing they wanted to happen does happen, and they do it really well. And it going really well retroactively justifies the hamfistedness of the setup, but also, should it? I talked about this issue for s2act1 last time but it remains, so.

Anyway that ways just way too many words to essentially talk about one issue. But that one issue (pacing/story planning) just... seeps into EVERYTHING, and I spent a long time typing all that out, so.

This is a bit of a complimentary critique, but I think the wild pacing means that there is a LOT of feeling jerked around emotionally, and I think the show is doing a pretty good job at making that feel exciting instead of confusing, so props for that

Ok now for stuff I liked, because despite my Hater Energy I loved this arc. that is why I have critiques. Because I love it and wish it was better.

like I said, Isha's introduction felt really hamfisted but I can't deny her story crushed my SOUL this arc. I loved that she was nonverbal, I loved her growing relationship with Jinx and it all definitely got enough screen time for Jinx's character development to feel natural/real/earned. I loved that. I cried. oh my fucking god. I love the thematic parallels of it all and I love how it puts Jinx into the role of a parent -- this WHOLE show is about family. sisters and brothers and parents and their kids. this is what it is ABOUT this is why i love this SHOW aughgaaiudsadsafdkha

Jinx's whole character development and everything is so. I don't have brain to write more about it tn but im like. yeah. i love it a lot. she allows herself to try to be the big fat hero...

I love women. This was such a good arc for beautiful handsome women.

I was suuuuper skeptical of Warwick -- I knew from fan speculation the likely connection between him and Vander, and also that he was a big fuckoff werewolf, and I was worried it would all be too goofy but really loved this. Jinx's look of utter terror when she didn't know if she'd killed her father/sister again, the hug, Vander's head touch with Vi, his love for his children bringing him back from thoughtless rage... i loved it. i can't even think about that last scene oh my GOD

I did just complain about the CaitVi reunion but as a homosexual I loved it a lot. Like. It was hot. There was spit and handcuffs and wrassling in the dirt. the almost-kiss when Cait pulled the bag over her head was more intimate than a kiss. there was name calling.

I love Cait having a rebound gf/fuckbuddy. It is SO funny to me, it's an excellent characterization moment for Cait, it's great tension that will HOPEFULLY have payoff in act 3, it's incredible fodder for angsty erotic fanfiction that I hope will soon grace a browser near me. and i hope it influences the CaitVi NETFLIX SEX WARNING scene that will soon grace a TV near me. I hope it is so long it compels me to write 1k words complaining that it was an irresponsible use of screen time

Jinx and Vi teaming up is another thing that felt too fast for me but like, was retroactively justified by how good it was. LIKE!!! Vi protecting Jinx. Parallels to childhood. Their sibling fight. How Vi reached out to her and welcomed her into the family hug. I'm emotional

We finally got to see BLOOD like I'm not a gore person, honestly, but act1 was pretty bloodless even during violent scenes, and I was a little worried that it would just be like that. but NO!!! Warwick's massacre was soooo good and got that blood spraying

I really like how Silco continues to haunt Jinx, and I love the way the show is exploring her grief and like... that she doesnt know who she is anymore. ough.

LOVE Sevika and Jinx's heist/disguise scene, especially all the animation/art details. Like the way Jinx's disguise is so poorly fitted, it's so good. I rewatched that scene specifically like, 4 times

Pitfighter Vi 🧎

as always super interested to hear other people's thoughts, critiques, critiques of my critiques, if im missing something big, etc etc.

[spilling-my-guts-to-you-guyss]

New intro post cuz the other one is shit

Reminders for me-

Gift from ellia [then i drew it] Symbolism and shit <js for me ig> 1 year anniversary Notes challenge Thinking about my past attempt vent art...

Time since last relapse: 8 weeks 6 days

Hey guys, lore drop ig, I'll be explaining it straightforward, so trigger warnings

Also not tagging my main account, but if you search deep enough here, youll find it

Minor, Christian, Ex-suicidal, struggling with self harm, Have several physical and probably mental problems, BUT here to help where I can

Minor: i am a minor, 16 to be precise. And to be honest, i domt care what ysll do here. I dont care if youre mean or nice, or anything. If you help, thank you so much. If you dont, well im still glad youre here. The only real rule is please dont be sexually explicit or freaky in thst nature. This is a serious blog to me. Christian: I am a Christian. I have grown in religion, yet only in the past 2 years have i really grown closer to God. My past life was... terrible in a sense. Not because of family or friemds, just myself. God saved me countless times from Satan, from myself. In still figuring out some things, still wondering about my purpose... but hopefully things will be cleared up soon. Ex-suicidal: i will explain explicitly so beware- I've attempted may 25th 2024 i belive. It was a Saturday, and it was by attempted overdose. I tried with 55 pills (a variety), thinking that might be enough. But surely it wasn't, and i lived. If taken 5-10 more though, then things would've been serious. Anyways, I'm still somewhat affected by it. I can't take pills without feeling gross after, and any mention of suicide or even the words related to it maks me a bit uncomfortable. Still struggling with thoughts on my life, but i will not attempt again. I wouldn't dare. Self Harm: Started this around January February last year (2024), and just progressively grew worse... was first hangnail picking then using nail cutters on my skin, then tweezers, box knives, and carving knives. spread all over my body in small splotches; arms, wrist, thigh, ankles. Its grown so bad that i feel no affects of it any longer. No pain, yet also no relief. It's an addiction in trying to stop... i am getting help though. Ill put a "time since relapse" cohnt up there, as you have seen Problems: ive got suspected autism and adhd, and I'm actually gonna get a psych evaluation for this soon. But anyways, also suspected depression. (Update, was diagnosed with dmdd) Was also diagnosed with coccygodynia (chronic tailbone pain) after an accident, and overall i have shrimp posture. Not kidding about that too, it's fucking terrible. Also I'm quite overweight and it's a self conscious thing. Plus my jaw problems... I've got plenty things wrobg with me physically as much s mentally. Helping: yeah I made this alt account to get help, i do need it... BUT im also here for you guys! remmeber always that you are loved, people care for you! i dont wanna give the cliche "life gets better" shit, because sometimes it doesnt. But just because it doesnt get better doesnt mean it will never. I care for you and yall can talk to me, Ill try my best to help where I can. Remember again! I love you, God loves you, people inthe world care for you.

People who know my shit

Online- the-ellia-west, gekowo, sunflowerrosy (deactivated), homelessnerd, inspirationallybored, likeadeadbattery, bees-with-a-camera, write-with-will

In person- lwkjsfloating (deactivated) (sis), theweirbox123 (friend), potatoeperson33 (friend), bamboozled-08orange (froend), mom

Thanks for reading if yall really did, I know its a lot.

have a great day or night, get rest and always remember

YOU ARE LOVED

[neflil]

Kullervo, Kullervo, would you feel up for talking about your inspirations for your latest piece with Hallow? (You're killing it with the value work, great job, the compo is absolute cinema)

YESS !!! YESS PLEASE LET ME TALK ABOUT THEM (this is me being delusional for the next 5-10 minutes)

Also hey, thanks! Been trying out new stuff and exercises with art :3

SO

This originally started over on twitter, under a post saying "give me your harrow headcanons" - with someone responding that "..something something Harrow wants to hangout more around Kullervo and wants to help him be absolved of his sins, every dagger being a reminder that Harrow somehow failed him"

I TOOK THAT- AND *RAN* WITH IT, AND I MEAN RAN. for like a day or two it was the only thing I could really think about, frid also came around and threw the banger of a line "a Kullervo proto with, just. so many scars. and a Harrow proto tracing each one and saying a prayer" and I just I died ok. That night I wrote 800 words worth of Them, half asleep at 3 am without another thought in my head (if anyone wants to read this for some reason lmk i also plan on continuing it cus i literally fell asleep writing it hdsjkhdjs)

Soooo here come my headcanons, and the reason why this piece was made. again from the start I knew I had to do Something about this, it was just so peak I couldn't leave it alone

the piece as a- piece, symbolism and all- is more of what was mentioned above. Harrow, shrouded in mostly darkness, holding Kullervo- pulling him out of the water (blood??) (or even lowering him in the water, wehwhehw). His hand resting between the empty spaces the daggers on his waist are. Kullervo in light, just- reaching out, tries to, doesn't fight him back or anything. *one could say harrow is holding him as if protectively, fiercely...*

idk its all Kullervos sins and his punishments. How he suffered through everything ((bc the orokin suck but ok sure whatever)) (I'm the #1 Kullervo apologist). Kullervo- the one who did wrong- being in light, while the one able to save him is in rather darkness, holding him close and reaching for a place that is a reminder to how much Kullervo has suffered... Absolute darkness behind them *but* where Harrow is standing....

Sins, absolving them, angst, both being locked in isolation for a long time, feeling hopeless but then hope just happened to appear next to you, the wholeeee package yknow

In the original sketch, I had Harrow look almost worried- holding Kullervo with a more gentle hold, curious, as if hes too fragile and will break. Buuuut I changed that and instead went for him looking more grounded, protective of Kullervo. (original sketch below)

The lyrics used are alsofrom a song called Soldier's Waltz by Olenka & The Autumn Lovers

Extra fun headcanons bc im crazy:

Harrow is selectively mute, mostly because being locked away for and not using his voice, but also bc that caused his voice to pretty much die out and become quiet and hoarser. So he chooses to not speak- he *does* speak when saying prayers though, quietly, unnoticeable

Kullervo cannot for the life of him be around others and its still weird to him, but enjoys having company around

Harrow is like a parent figure to Rell after the whole zariman incident

Kullervo feels undeserving of any form of kindness after everything he was put through, he thinks of himself as the worst guy alive, drowning in guilt

Harrow, even if he doesnt speak, has this air of duty and seriousness, might often seem aggressive towards others, and he doesn't tolerate a lot of things

Harrow also loves to spend time alone, in face he prefers it. But sometimes it can get to him. He really likes silent company

Also its kinda funny cus both Harrow and Kullervo are some of my favorite frames in general, but I hadn't made Kullervo- even after having everything farmed. Soooo I made him and I realized how FUN he is to play. I'm afraid he will be my new main lmfaoo. I literally fall for my own propaganda... (Harrow is someone I play sometimes and enjoy a lot, but recently I've been playing Citrine, and only Citrine)

Does this whole post make any sense? NO!!! but its a nefpost, nothing makes sense here, welcome, I'm so happy with them you have no idea!!! Kullervo, Kullervo, warrior born....

and hey, thanks for asking, in all honesty

[wackywatchdotcom]

im about to go to bed for the night but after a rewatch im thinking abt smth again wrt episode 4 that i dont think abt TOO too often but like. it IS smth i still think abt a not small amnt

(warning that theres discussion of suicide n such!)

like the thing i talked about earlier, i dont see it in discussion much anymore but i DO still see remnants of it here nd there. the question of 'did gangle intentionally jump in front of the truck.' and like. from what ive seen debate died down eventually bc ppl moved on from that topic but i still have thoughts on that that i dont know if ive seen anyone else say?? it probably has been said but i just havent seen it myself BUT

i think this question is genuinely 100% irrelevant. i think 'did gangle do that on purpose' doesnt actually change anything. fwiw i dont think it was deliberate myself! but i truly think that it doesnt change ANYTHING about that scene if it was intentional or not, and thats because that scene is certainly literally happening in-series, but its MOSTLY there symbolically (for lack of a better word for it, im not sure if symbolically is quite right but its the closest i can think of). its there for the audience

that anyone in the audience questioned what she was doing is part of the point imo. because what the scene is evoking is VERY clear, not because thats what it is literally happening but because of the emotion that conveys. i dont fully know how to explain it but to me the scene isnt about what gangle is literally doing but its about conveying a sense of unsteady and almost unhealthy hope and despair and peace and recklessness. inuniverse she cant die. it doesnt matter in a literal sense. but the scene creates an image for the audience thats uncomfortable and harsh. it creates an image of gangles state in that moment thats stressful and concerning

like many people have written so many different analyses of the episode. i think its depicting many things if you look at it right. i dont think any one reading of the episode and gangles role in it is wholly correct because i think its vague on purpose, and i think the episode is MEANT to be open-ended and able to be interpretted many different ways. and building from that i dont think the ending is supposed to literally depict a suicide attempt but i think it IS meant to call that concept into mind, because it ties into most possible interpretations of the episode, but in different ways

theres also probably a case to be made about the idea that regardless of her intention the end result is the same. she did something reckless because she was doing incredibly poorly and nothing came of it but that moment brought her back to the despair she felt before she got the new mask. the intention doesnt change what it means for her character. the main context that scene matters in is in what it alludes to in the audience (and debatably how it ties into the different readings of the episode), and THATS the point. that people questioned it is because its calling to mind that concept on purpose, and thats the more important role that the scene serves imo rather than knowing exactly what gangle was trying to do

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I was thinking about my big Elisabeth: das Musical post where I talked about all the versions I had seen and I realized that I barely talked about Rudolf even though hes basically my favorite character, so now I wanted to make a quick post to rectify that

I mean to be fair to myself for not talking about him that much, that post ended up being mostly me comparing different productions and what I thought they did better or worse than others, and I feel like Rudolf fundamentally always stays the same so theres not too much to compare. Its a classic case of 'if it aint broke, dont fix it' yknow? Its not like thats hard to do at all, he only has three songs (in the og prod, but even in later ones he only gets one as a child and two as an adult and while I love them and love when theyre included, I wouldnt consider them vitally important (although.... I mean Kind oder Nicht does such a phenomal job at communicating Rudolfs relationship to the monarchy while also being great foreshadowing, but we're not talking abt rn)) plus the mayerling walzer, and as long as you have those and as long as you have Tod kiss him on the mouth, Im pretty much satisfied. I wouldd be beyond satisfied if the non-Vienna productions could also put Tod in a dress, but you cant win em all I suppose

The fact that its so easy to get him right is what pisses me off about the 1999 Scheveningen prod btw, because its like, all you needed to do was let him have his second song but they DIDNT because it was too political i guess, so now hes just this weird fucking guy whos there for a bit and he doesnt really do anything for the story and you dont really know why hes there and then hes just gone again. hes like herbert von krolock if he killed himself

But enough about that, lets talk about the various versions of Rudolf now

If youve read my other post, Im sure you can guess that Andreas Bieber of the 92 proshot is my favorite. Hes just so pathetic and sad and he has such a lovely soft little voice and Im absolutely obsessed with the way uwe!tod just fucking GRIPS him during Die Schatten werden länger Reprise, mwah. 10/10, no notes. Markus Neubauer is also my favorite actor for child!rudolf because he just does such a good job acting like a little boy, and I know that sounds stupid because he is a little boy, but idk. The way he sings "ich kann hart und bös wie die Welt sein" in particular is just so good, I feel like none of the other child actors Ive heard for this part really act like that, I feel like theyre mostly focused on just sounding nice, which I do appreciate but idk, I just prefer this

Im not looking up the name of the guy from the 1998 Vienna proshot (sorry) because I just really dont care about that one, its overwhelmingly just a slightly worse version of the 1992 proshot, and thats also how I would describe this guys performance. Yknow, its not terrible or anything but hes less sad and suffering than andreas!rudolf so I just dont find him as compelling. Also I do not remember child!rudolf's performance at all, Im sorry

I also did not remember 1999!Scheveningen!Rudolf at all, but I didnt want to just leave it at that for this post, so I did rewatch his songs for this and hes alright, I feel similarly about him as the guy from the 1998 prod, although I do really like the choice of having him speak more directly to Elisabeth in Wenn ich dein Spiegel wär. Like, Elisabeth is sitting at her desk and shes facing him the whole and theres parts where they touch each other's cheeks and then at the very end he goes down on his knees and hugs her and oughhhhhh its really good. I really enjoy this strained sense of intimacy here, but I think thats mostly just because its novel because the point of this song is that Rudolf and Elisabeth are fundamentally the same and yet theres this intense disconnect between them, and I think the more typical staging where theyre far apart or seperated by a mirror or some other barrier works better for that symbollically. Unfortunately I cant say that I enjoy the novelty of having Rudolf stand infront of Elisabeth's door in Mama, wo bist du? instead of being in his bedroom, but the actor was fine. I was also going to watch the mayerling walzer but theres a kindof skip that happens in the copy that I have whre it just jumps straight to Rudolf, wo bist du? so I went to look for another upload of this proshot, and all the ones that I can find are two hours long while the one that have is around an hour and 40 minutes long (its the one from the internet archive) and now Im questioning everything ive ever said about this production because what if I didnt actually watch it in full and it doesnt have all these massive flaws. i guess i'll worry about that later

Moving on to Dolhai Attila from the 2004 Budapest proshot, whom I just love. Hes so pathetic, he has this incredible air of just being scared during Wenn ich dein Spiegel wär and hes just crawling around and begging for Elisabeth to pay attention to him and Im obsessed with it. I also like that they actually had a dancer to represent Mary during the mayerling walzer but then at the end she kindof gives him over to der Tod and they kiss, its like my favorite sex move. I thought the actor playing child!rudolf was fine, although he was noticeably focused on his singing over his acting imo. Also, during Mama, wo bist du? hes wearing a white undershirt and that blue uniform jacket-thing that he wears in most productions was either laying on his bed or hung up somewhere near his bed and very clearly visible, and I thought Tod was gonna put it on him towards the end of the song, but he didnt, and I thought that was a missed opportunity

I think Fritz Schmid in the 2005 Vienna proshot is pretty good, but hes simply not pathetic enough for me. Ive seen other people say that its because of Rudolf, ich bin außer mir, but I dont think thats the case. Like, I havent seen any footage of the 2012 Vienna production, but Ive listened to the cd and the guy playing Rudolf there definitely sounds sufficently pathetic enough for me, so it is possible for him as a character to be pathetic in this moment where hes standing up to his father, but this guy is simply not playing him like that, which is a shame. Johann Erbert as child!Rudolf is also very good, he has what I can only describe as an angelic choirboy-voice which sounds absolutely lovely, although I think it lacks the humanity of the technically rougher 1992 performance or even the 1999 performance, so I like it a little less than those

God, the 2016 Toho White prod does so much good shit with Rudolf. First of all, Furuwaka Yuta's performance was absolutely wonderful, his voice is just the right amount of soft and I love it. He is unfortunately lacking a bit in the patheticness-department but is very sad and he has this repressed anger which shines through at a couple key moments that I find really compelling. I love the choice of having Rudolf give the exposition about the german nationalists, and I love him and FJ standing on top of those giant coffins during Rudolf, ich bin außer mir. Also, during the conspiracy song everyone is also standing giant coffins and I think thats great; idk, its such a simple thing that I feel kinda stupid for enjoying it as much as I do, but then again, how can you possibls argue against the sheer evocativeness of having a bunch of people singing about societal change while standing on top of these gigantic coffins? Thats right, you cant. I will say, I found the way they did Eljen reprise extremely disappointing compared to the takarazuka version, but I'll talk more about that when we get to those productions. I love the choreography during Die Schatten werden länger Reprise, Rudolf and der Tod dont touch each other as much or as intensely as in other versions, which is unfortunate, but I like that there are these parts where Tod seems to be controlling his body, i think its a great way to show that he feels like hes losing control. And while they dont touch other that much, there is a part where Rudolf is laying on the ground and Tod is crawling towards him like some manner of predator, which scratches a similar itch in my brain. And ohhhhhhh dont even get me started on the mayerling walzer. The choreography is really good, I think it strikes a great balance between the kindof uncoordinated panic of the original Vienna choreo and the more deliberate interpretive dance-y Takarazuka choreo, and I love love love Rudolf initiating the kiss at the end. And godddddd, the way they linger on it and the way Tod gently caresses his face afterwards makes me crazy. If you care about todolf at all, I think this one is required viewing for you

I really dont have too much to say about child!rudold in this one, I think his actor (whose name I unfortunately couldnt find) does a very good job in both the singing and the acting department and hes just so cute, I feel like crying every time I think about him. I think its because hes just so small, like its been a little while since ive seen this proshot so maybe Im misremembering a little, but istg during Kind oder Nicht when hes standing next to Sophie, it looks like hes only as tall her her skirt, like he could hide inside the hoopskirt while standng fully upright and it makes me crazy. Speaking of Kind oder Nicht, I liked that Count Gondrecourt was there instead of the lady-in-waiting, I think thats a neat choice. And I really liked Rudolf being surrounded by these armour sets holding weapons during Mama, wo bist du? and the way they collapsed when der Tod properly entered the song. One of the armour sets was holding a gun and when Rudolf starts singing about killing the cat he takes it and kindof gesticulates with it, and Tod is just staring him in this intense way and its so good. mwah, 10/10

Okay, before I can really get into the things I like about Rudolf in the takarazuka productions, I need to briefly talk about the fact that I used to really dislike him in these. And I thought that it was because of the way that he was written, but then I was like "well no, I mean theyve obviously made a lot of changes to all of the songs during the whole takarazukification process, but Rudolf's actually seem to be the ones that are the most similar to the original german ones", so after realising that I thought "oh, its the conspiracy song and éljen reprise, those were obviously added later and so that part feels incongruent with the rest of his character and thats the reason his writing bothers me" but then I actually thought about those songs more, specifically éljen reprise, and I realized that theyre essentially expressing the same thing as Die Schatten werden länger Reprise except optimistic, yknow what I mean? Die Schatten werden länger Reprise is the depression and the conspiracy song/éljen reprise is the mania, thats the best way I can sum it up. And thats when I finally realized that the thing that was bothering me about Rudolf wasnt the writing at all, it was the acting – I did not like a single one of the actresses in this role, which is wild because by the time I came to this realization I had seen like dozen proshots already, but its the truth. But then I actually did find a Rudolf-performer that I liked, which further bolstered my realisation that it was the acting I had an issue, whose name I unfortunately cant remember because when it comes to zukabeth I dont pay all that much attention to the actresses that arent playing Tod or Elisabeth ToT I dont remember exactly which production they were in either, so shes just gonna have to be my lost cinderella until I decide to burn through all of these proshots again

I unfortunately cant tell you what exactly it is that makes me dislike all of these Rudolf-performances because its kindof all-encompassing I feel like, so idk, if you feel similarly and you can describe what it is, please tell me and we can see if I feel the same. However, what I can tell you is who my least favorite zuka!Rudolf is, and its Ryouga Haruhi from the 2009 Moon Troupe production. While shes clearly a very good singer, I dont really like the tone of her voice (atleast here, shes probably good in other musicals) and, Im not sure if this is a conscious acting choice or just the way her face normally moves, but shes constantly doing this grimace of a nervous smile and I really dont like that. I do not think that Rudolf is a nervous smiler, its unfitting imo

I was gonna jump into everything I like about adult!Rudolf in this version at this point and then talk about child!Rudolf after, but I think I would rather just get all the negatives out of the way first, so heres everything I dislike about child!Rudolf in this production: hes not played by a child which I find kind of offputting, especially when the actresses try too hard to project this sense of child-ness and innocence. And like, I know how the takarazuka revue operates (you essentially have to go a performing arts university preparing you to perform for this specific company and its very competive) so they obviously cant have child actors, but still. Also, the bowlcut wigs they put on them look so bad, I literally cannot believe theyve stuck with them for over 30 years now. And the thing that makes me even more frustrated with them is that they have different wigs in some of the shinjinkoen prods and they look a thousand times better! agh

Okay thats it, onto the positives: I noticed that the stage is a lot more abstract during the Rudolf/Tod scenes and I think thats very interesting. Like, the takarazuka sets can be quite minimalistic at times but theyre ultimately still very literal (unless theyre portraying purgatory like in the prologue or Am Deck der sinkenden Welt), but Mama, wo bist du? and die Schatten werden länger Reprise both take place in these voids full of marble columns and I think thats pretty neat. I really like the little moment after Mama, wo bist du? ends and Rudolf runs offstage while Tod does a little flourish of his hand thats kinda like a bow, I think its very cute and Im always upset when they dont do a closeup of it. During the instrumental portion of Die Schatten werden länger Reprise before they start singing, Rudolf sits down on the ground and starts saddrammatically vogueing and its peak takarazuka goofysilliness, and Im in a goofysillines-enjoyer mood so I really like that. And the absolute best Rudolf-bit in all of these productions is Eljen Reprise, which I guess is technically part of the conspiracy song herebut I like to call it that to better isolate the exact part I mean. So, Rudolf is in this cafe with the hungarian conspirators, theres a whole set there and everything, and theyve talked a bit but then theres a beat and the set suddenly splits gets wheeled offstage and people flood onto the stage and hungarian flags fall from the ceiling and they bring our this little church-podest-thing that we've seen in Eljen proper and Elisabeth is standing on it and smiling and waving, and the previously dimmed lights have suddenly turned bright and warm, giving the whole thing this fantastical triumphant glow (and all of this happens within seconds, its crazy), and Rudolf runs up to the podest to get crowned king of Hungary by Elisabeth while everyone is cheering for him, but as hes walking back to the front, some Todesengel steal the crown. After that we're essentially back in the conspiracy-sing tone-wise for a bit, but then we're back in Eljen Reprise Land where we get this big group dance number set to this fun triumphant music, but then theres suddenly gunshots those flags fall down and all of those people are afraid for their lives and fleeing, and GOD i love it so much. I lohed it even when I had issues without it because I thought it was incongruent with Rudolf's character because of the sheer emotions that it makes me feel and the way it makes my heartrate spike

And the Toho version is. very much not that. I get that those bigass coffins take up a lot of the stagespace so you cant really have it flood with people, and I dont think you could move those coffins offstage in only a couple seconds the way they move the cafe-set in the takarazuka prods because they seem pretty heavy and even if they arent, theres people standing on them so I feel like that would pretty dangerous, but idk. could they not atleast have the hungarian flags fall from the ceiling instead of just having them on the screen? Its much less effective because the visuals are not as fast and its not emotionally janking the audience around as much. I also think Lucheni putting the crown on Rudolf's head is inferior to Elisabeth putting the crown on Rudolf's head, although it is a pretty interesting choice when you consider the idea/interpretation of this musical's story, and particularly the fact that Rudolf's side of things is shown in a very sympathetic way, being influenced by Lucheni as a narrator, and when you co sider the fact that the real life Luigi Lucheni apparently quite liked Rudolf

Anyway thats it, I hope you enjoyed my Rudolf-thoughts! If you have any Rudolf-thoughts, please share them with me, I always appreciate it

[forest-sh]

Good Omens Theories - I wrote this instead of sleeping, excuse my rambling

Starter theories i wrote before "analyzing" anything:

Somethings in the coffee

might be fighting whatever "it" is

The Metatron and Crowley have ISSUES together, personally as a headcanon and not a theory, i think it was most likely that Metatron was the one that damned all the demons into, well, damnation. what i mean is that he was there and all that.

35:32 - as someone previously pointed out, he changed his speech to appear more like aziraphales.

aziraphale is sure of what he wants (to stay out of heaven and stay on earth) and through out the ep that changes quickly. suspicious.

as someone else pointed out, he changed his description of the almond syrup in the coffee. After further research, i found almonds symbolizes the purity of the Virgin and the birth of jesus in Christianity. Which might mean, that what the tumblr posts are saying is true and he maybe coming in s3. Some depictions of divine favor and approval, and divine guiding were also shown but appeared less often than the first. That "I should jolly well hope so" comment from Metatron does add some suspicion to the coffee as well. In another context, an almond (although its the tree here not the fruit) is also a shown as a message of god watching.

39:37-39:56 - THATS SUSPICIOUS AF- That whole interaction was suspicious as hell,

rn aziraphale looks like me when I'm trying to flee from a conversation from one of my teachers (aka one of my superiors someone i have too respect immediately without question and try not to get in trouble with(unless they have given me reason not to of course)) just agreeing with everything their saying to get out of the conversation faster.

"Well then, go and tell your friend the good news." aziraphale here looks nervous, as he's walking off he thinks for a moment, i think his face is showing a (what the fuck is happening rn) kinda vibe. and afterwards his whole demeaner is (lets get this over with.) WHY THOUGH. if he's nervous which obviously he is, he's gonna ask a pretty big question here not knowing if Crowley is gonna say yes or not, BUT HE DOESNT LOOK HAPPY/EXCITED NERVOUS. he looks like accepted his fate/i know this gonna go badly nervous.

40:52 -

LMAO aziraphale is like NOWS NOT THE TIME CROWLEY looks over to the window NOWS NOT THE FUCKING TIME. to me this implies that he knows Metatron is looking and that he is warry of him, WHY ARE YOU WARRY OF HIM, HUH AZIRAPHALE?? HMM??? THIS IS SOMEONE WHO YOU TOTALLY 100% AGREE WITH HIS STUPID PLAN WHY ARE YOU WARRY?? i don't know why, just that he shouldn't be if he actually believes the shit he was spouting, I'm not that smart-

42:03 - LOL LOOK AT AZIRAPHALE dudes like (What the fuck are you saying right now-)

43:12 - that giggle was hysteric almost.

OH GOD that "not at all" has been BUGGING ME and i don't know why! he says it through clenched teeth like he's lying or is OH! LIKE HES TRYING NOT TO SAY IT!! like something is coursing him into saying it but he's trying not to, and that smile slipping as Crowley gets angry HURTS ME, but the smile is almost awkward like he's trying to keep it in place but he doesn't want it too.

I feel like when Crowley starts talking here ("confessing") aziraphale continues looking at the window and is giving a "oh please don't do this now Crowley NOT right now" look

why am i starting to think that metatron is controlling aziraphale.. why am i getting that feeling-

NOW IK WHY im paying attention to aziraphales expressions and half way through crowleys confession he SQUINTS at him HATEFULLY

oh nvm hes just confused- WHEN I TELL YOU I DID A DOUBLE TAKE-

"We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them" AZIRAPHALE WDYM= WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO TO THIS STATEMANT, OH EXCUSE ME THIS FACT, THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW= WHAT YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD FOR

have i pointed out the smile? ITS JUST SO FAKE- LIKE COME ON HES NEVER and i mean EVER SMILED LIKE THAT also should i point out that he's smiling but also looks like he's going to cry.

That "No. No, I don't suppose it does" HURT ME, like its what he should've said slay queen but still- he looks so HEARTBROKEN

"Good luck? Crowley! Crowley" BISH WHY ARE YOU SAYING Crowley! LIKE YOU GUYS ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHALES OR SOMETHING?? THIS IS SERIOUS! dudes acting like their having one of there little bickering fights and Crowley's being difficult.

" Anything you need to take with you? " pretty sure aziraphale wanted to take his diary with him, you know just incase what happened with Gabriel happened to him too, seems only logical. (he had a diary with him right- that wasn't a fanfic i read, RIGHT??)

Final Theories

The Metatron is somehow controlling/affecting aziraphales actions and aziraphales fighting it.

theory number two is the most obvious theory, and the one where every single observation points towards it. Aziraphale GENUINELY thinks he can outsmart the Metatron by being in heaven and fixing it from the inside, for whatever reason (probably because he thinks his days are numbered if he stays on earth, it took only a few years for heaven to bother them again and the result was that he was almost erased from EXISTENCE) he wants to be up there in heaven not because he WANTS too but because he has too. through out the final 15 i think he was trying to signal to crowley his plan and Crowley didn't know he WAS throwing any signals. dude was genuinely confused af when crowley started confessing. The miscommunication tag is at it again folks.

[identityarchitect]

1, 2, 12, and 17 for smeep and the hater!!! :D

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

for smeep … im honestly not sure hold on lemme go find it

ok it was just my general love of sapient ai. that tracks. originally i was thinking about how a person actually becomes an explorer (in an official sense, since exploration is highly regulated) and was trying not to make a sentient ai that helps with all the onboarding and stuff.

icarus (smeeps canon name) isnt too far from that concept, tbh? shes primarily about archiving information and doing research but she does also aid explorers in the field - being a structure herself she notices a lot of stuff that humans wouldnt consider indicative of anything in particular, so she can warn people about danger before it becomes a threat to survival

for the hater, i was brainstorming about what post-rapture human settlements look like - specifically about hangers (general term for settlements in monoliths). violence and raiding and such is somewhat common on surface settlements (oil rigs, floaters, people who primarily live on boats) since electricity is relatively difficult to come by, and thus synthesisers cant be used (whereas in hangers the conditions for farming arent present but effectively infinite energy can be attained, allowing for synthesis of everything required for living), meaning that food and materials are scarce and settlements are in constant competition with each other.

i was thinking about how violence would come about between two hangers, and ended up deciding that it'd be most realistic if the humans were forced into it, most likely by the ai that they relied on for survival (since without an AI your settlement will be accosted by many environmental issues like toxic air, fungal infections, extreme winds, as well as improper nutrition, and also the monolith itself would literally just crush you).

How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

ohhh man. smeep is kind of the first OC i made for UAO so she's been through a lot!

id say i mostly got her personality down after like ,, a few weeks? but idk maybe i have big revelations down the line.

the hater is SO new so im not fully confident saying that this is like, fully recognisable as him, but i think figuring out that hes from the other side of the civil war and is now double-crossing god was pretty good. oh wait no its the way he interacts with humans. 1000% its the way he interacts with humans. hes genuinely so funny. i also got that after a few weeks of thinking about him so. i guess im just good at characters

Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?

i ,,, do not have playlists for any of them :( i stopped using spotify and that was my main playlist-making-motivation so. no playlist unforch.

wait no i have one very old unfinished smeep playlist. yknow what here

as for songs i associate with them, a lot of rw songs are a good bet just because of how cool they are. big open, vast unlife, random gods… really does evoke the feeling of a being many, many times more powerful than you. which (post-rapture) is what smeep and

i associate a lot of the lorns lure OST with UAO in general since lorns lure is what caused me to create UAO in the first place.

OH YEAH ALICEBAND. home by aliceband is a .. very smeep song.

Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

so smeep is actually on the structural exploration & research departments logo, and i think her team would associate her with eyes, but she otherwise doesnt really have motifs or symbols.

the hater also has a symbol he associates with that he'd plaster everywhere on his structure/s (its kind of weird saying "his structure" because he IS the structure but he also is a hivemind. boy why are you so annoying to describe), which is the symbol of the opposing side in the structures civil war (i.e, the side that god was trying to get rid of). but nobody actually knows what that symbol means except for him. (and other structures that were there but he's not intending to meet any of them until hes guaranteed to win.)

i do think he'd put a bunch of other symbols on himself though, both to make himself feel pretty and to freak out the humans. (it is WEIRD when the unknown, oddly behaved structure that is in charge of your entire life starts decorating itself with skulls)

(ask game here!)

[narwhalandchill]

(soo ignition teaser thoughts ig)

hmmmm im ngl the trailer itself as a like prelude to what is coming in 5.0 intrigue and plot wise is like. compared to the region teasers that came before w lazzo and overture. its just. its kinda bad im sorry KWKJKWDJKWDJK like okay cool seeing the new cast and production value is high as always (+ music) but its such a middling teaser for the story itself?? it feels like a powerpoint presentation of the cast more than anything narratively coherent with an inherent draw and mystery

like theres mavuika speaking to the flame thingy (xbalanque that u? "one entombed in the primal fire" perhaps????) with some intrigue i suppose as well as her brief thing w capitano. ororon also appearing to be working together or aligned with capitano given theyre standing together there which could make for an interesting plot thread but beyond that its very.... eh. its not giving us a lot to grip onto ya know???? and thats rly a shame especially since i also felt that way abt the teaser in the 4.8 livestream. i wish we got more

and sure theres a tournament wahoo but like. its really Not helping to hype up that thing when half the introduced cast isnt being like "OMG the tournament!!!!1!1 this is HUGE!!!1" (or even. "oh no this is BAD!!!1" to set up basic conflict. like why would they dread it?) but instead just. "oh right... the tournament 🙄🙄" like who thought that was a good idea 😭😭 if the PEOPLE of natlan dgaf abt the big plot event happening then how am i as the viewer supposed to feel majorly invested in it . wow theyre tossing a ball around . wow nobody wants it guess ur tournament is having a bit of a PR issue in the making mavuika lmao

anyway i wouldnt even call myself a true capitano glazer despite being a fatuiHQ enjoyer on the side but like. that hmph still carried welcome capHIMpeaktano truly o7 JWDJWDJKDWJK also did yall see the. anemo-ish turquoise flare when mavuika is confronting (?) him? wonder if thats a thing with her flames or is it implying cap as anemo or sth.... i think itd fit him decent enough but ya. looking forward to HIM for sure

(+ congrats to him for losing the goofy timbs from arles animated short lmao like his design looks so fucking sick now)

character design wise uhhhh. well theres the obvious huge fucking issue here and while id say that hoyo p much already showed their true colors on the matter with sumeru that doesnt rly. make it any less disappointing and egregious wrt all the cultures and peoples theyre So willing to gather inspiration from in all possible aspects Other than the diversity of the people themselves. like its just... bad and such a shame but also not very surprising unfortunately.

(and really it just. looks especially bad given they clearly Can put melanin on people its just... enemy mobs only.)

beyond that i kind of dont have anyone that super catches my eye rn??? mainly because . well leaks moment eek but its basically official info now so basically. xilonens existence as a geo and a 5* (which like . u dont need leaks to guess she will be im sorry jdwjdw) was leaked a bit ago as well as the patch she should appear meaning. im actually in chiori rerun savings mode since its very high chance that she will be back w xilonen if anyone. so thats my plan for now kjdwjkdwjkdwjk

in terms of the actual cast i do like kinich and ororons designs v much, the design motifs of the latter especially are interesting bc those eye-like patterns are almost giving quantum symbol (= black hole imagery) to me???? and thats V interesting especially if hes actually working w capitano and the fatui. now him being a cat boy or whatever animals ears those turn out to be isnt like sth thats huge for Me personally but i do think hes valid and also W for anyone whos into that, congrats guys im happy for u ! but like fr itd be such an insane twist if hoyos Finally introducing the void quantum abyss whatever element w him (and maybe cap too.) bc that symbol Rly is looking Curious. or then hes just electro lol. for kinich its like. yeah fair he might be xiao-tighnari-gaming from minecraft ill admit that but. i do like the color scheme and his outfit a lot JKWJKDJKDWJKD so like i forgive it

w the girlies i overall find them all like. quite nice but so far without any personality + lore known its hard to settle my complete thoughts on them just yet. tho citlali being pink is super refreshing for genshin since we do have a shocking absence of it so like shes definitely one im drawn to, chasca looks interesting and like she could play a bigger part plot wise (maybe?) so that might be neat. both her and citlali being cryo is kinda surprising?? but cool. maybe ill get to unbench my shenhe and play some cryo teams again lmao freeze has been dead in abyss for so long now....

xilonen again w the kemomimi isnt sth im particularly into or not into but she looks cool, depending on personality and how her kit synergies turn out (+ assuming the chiori rerun, the fate of those pulls too), i might try for her as well? theres an Energy to her i like it. if she has proper Attitude and flair thats gonna be a massive bonus for me

mualani i think is rather bland to me, sth about her outfit and design just doesnt click for me even if the shark thing from the teaser before is neat and everything. the chibis are never sth im actively drawn to but like both do look okay, im kinda hoping kachina could be a lynette moment for 5.x and end up a free 4* since her exploration roomba looks p fun

anyway then theres. mavuika and i. well at least the design wasnt. That concept art one (ThoseWhoKnow...) . so instant massive W improvement solely on that basis holy fucking shit but ehhhhh im sorry i still dont know how to feel abt the very modern like. biker bodysuit thingy. im not a huge fan of the bodysuit type designs anyway so its not that surprising but still. her eyes + hair is absolutely stunning tho like not a question at all.

tbh in a way i kinda feel like having too many Thoughts on her design is kinda just unnecessary bc like. shes the archon. of Course the kit is going to be insane so i will get her anyway (UNLESS a pyro onfielder JKWJKJKWJKWJKWFKJ like god please no). and in terms of like is her design and energy from what this vid is giving us good enough that i wont like. Actively resent having to get her for meta and strong teams??? Absolutely. so in that sense ig its all cool lmao

but yeah. idk i just think as a teaser for the upcoming story its rly a shame how weak this felt for me???? like sure overture ended up being a bit of a misleading teaser since it gave the impression of arle as this mastermind of the fontaine AQ which didnt rly happen but it still served as a source of hype and intrigue. and yes lazzo is sth that can Never rly be beat in terms of how out of nowhere it was and how fucking insane the whole harbinger reveal went (+ elogia cinerosa existing) for lore and long term hype but its just. unfortunately those 2 are the regional teasers this natlan one is supposedly meant to parallel and it just didnt deliver anything comparable to those for me

like still looking forward to natlan and seeing the rest of its cast (like im fairly convinced the flame thingy might be xbalanque and hes gonna be a big deal ultimately or sth) and where it goes and all its environments but this trailer didnt rly. grip me the way i wouldve expected it to. which is unfortunate kdjkdwjkwjkdwj but yea thats all

[s0lar-ch3ri]

hey new draft making

i keep putting this off, but it today arrives! a ramble about ryan selucreh to fill tghe tag for once

(spoilers for mythborne ahead BUT ITS BEEN OUT FOR A WHILE FOR FREE NO PATREON REQUIRED PLEASDE CHECK IT OUT I NEED MORE MYTHBORNE FRIENDS IN MY JRWI MUTUAL CIRCLE)

so who even is ryan selucreh? well, hes a football jock and a big oaf, the stereotypical strong dumb athlete kid. however, theres more to ryan that we're diving into, years after the oneshot ended!

one thing to note on ryan is how his powers were gotten in a mix of ways aster and connor did. aster was born with them (assumed cause goddess mother), connor got them from a book (recieved from searching, wasnt born with it), ryan got his powers from squats. silly, sure, but like i said, its like the inbetween of the two. he has the power himself and doesnt need a book for them or anything, but he wasnt born with them either. i also wanna note how asters powers are like life (plants and the sun, both can symbolize life) and connors powers are like death (decay and disintegrating, both are related back to death), but ryans powers cant be "like" anything. its not something super showy, hes just super strong (strong enough to rip a mountainin half im pretty sure was confirmed).

lwts get into those comments ryan made, and how its reflected across the 3 episodes. yeah, the comments on faking his personality around people and how he doesnt know who he is anymore.

first showing of this is with the j crew. charlie gave a good idea (he was nicknamed jyan), but condi says he told them that. granted, it was probably to be funny, but theres other options to that. ryan missaid his name out of nervousness, the j crew misheard him, he wrote his name really wrong, so many different options that also are pretty comedic. yet, ryan told them he was jyan to join their team.

on the floatball jersey he wears, they didnt even have a 10 for him, simply a jersey with a 1 and a "poorly painted 0". did someone else use the 10? why didnt they have one? another way ryan changed for people symbolically, wearing one number but being another.

ryan joins in with the omnious curse speech despite it not being planned. an attempt to keep fitting in with his group there.

hell, ryan even was an ass to connor before when he was with the j crew, yet wasnt when he was with connor and aster alone.

he even goes out of his way to try and save asters dad, an act of carrying for her and her father. hes such a friendly and caring dude that hes trying to fit in with them all to keep up their friendships.

thats what makes the whole "i dont have a real personality" line mean so much. because he really doesnt. all that can be seen as his personality is simply to appeal to another person.

HELL IM FUCKING CONNECTING IN THE FACT THAR RYAN WAS A HISTORY MAJOR TO THIS! WHO EXPECTS THE JOCK TO LIKE HISTORY? NOT ME, I THOUGHT THAT WAS CONNOR, AND THATS WHY ITS SO INTERESTING, CAUSS NOTHING LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE RYANS INTERESTED IN THAT SHIT!!! ryan barely talks about his past or anything, minus the memory (but that was only to save professor aeliana), BUT HE DIDNT FUCKING BRING IT UP. kinda ironic, the character whos past is pretty unknown is in classes learning about our past.

oh yeah did i ever mention his parents are dead? cause they are (confirmed by condi a while back)

maybe thats why he tries to be so appealing to everyone, to make up for that missing link. i mean, its not like that event wouldnt have some impact on you (also no jrwi pc has gone to therapy from what i know so safe to assume he has no coping skills PLUS ITS A CONDI PC YPU THINK HES MENTALLY STABLE??).

another thing i learned: ryans last name is a backwards hercules. fun call back to the name, yeah, but the actual story may have some weight here...

the screenshot doesnt give the full story, of course, so i will. the picture leaves out how the reason he went through hardships was because he was driven to madness. according to research, hera was mad at hercules being born (for he was the product of zeus and a mortal woman), so she made him go crazy and slaughter his family. to make up for it, he was given 12 impossible tasks to do.

am i saying the full story applys? hell fucking no! i dont think ryan killed his parents or anything, but i think the jist can apply. a man trying to be forgiven by people for wrongdoings that wouldnt have happened if said people didnt make those wrongdoings happen. ryan trying to get the validation of his friends and acquaintances by pretending to be someone hes not, which wouldnt be needed if he could see friends accept people as themselves. given impossible missions (be someone else) to appease those who he looks to (whether its to the side or up to).

another thing to note is theres no episode cover with only ryan on it. cover 1 has all 3, cover 2 has background faceless frat members and connor, and cover 3 has only aster.

it could be from how there was only 3 episodes of mythborne, yet this could be solved by having all 3 in a cover at once. while it would have been a lot, they had all 3 in the first and a total of 4 characyers in thr second cover. this of course was a purposeful choice, and it shows in a way who the focus is meant to be on in that ep (all of them, connor, aster).

so why coupdnt ryan have been focused on in episode 1? yeah he was directly related to the chaos (j crew being first vicitms and shit), yet that clearly had a more general showing. its because ryan isnt a character who can be focused on. he crutches to his friends like a team relys to eachother, thats how he has purpose, thats how hes even a person.

i woulsnt even doubt the stupid bit being an act! to play in a sport, you actually do need good grades (in my school experience, above a C+ in all classes), and ryans been on this team since he started college (infered from dialoge with j crew member), probably since kindergarten even (has known j cre since kindergarten). he learnt it from them, and found it to be a possibly appealing trait of himself to others, everyone likes the lovable idiot! sure, what he does to play an act can be extreme, but if this is really thr coping mechanism i think it is, its not too much for him (also wanna note how of all characters ryan is the biggest stereotype caharacyer).

the 3rd episode btw seemed a lot from the cover and namr and all like the whole world was a fake (for me atleast), and isnt it fitting that ryan was the first to fall off the stage? the man, who had an identity crisis outloud for once after it seemed like one friendgroupd was about to learn his secrets, the first to exit stage down (stage direction jokes). hes been playong a play himself for what feels like his whole life by now, he doesnt need a script.

i came in here to talk about ryan, put him under a microscope, see who he is. really, ryans a shell of a person, a muscle soulless being pretending to be a person someone can love and care about. maybe he too thinks about how connor had changed inside to save him. whatever it is, i think ive not learnt from this who ryan selucreh is, and maybe if he gets aomething like this, he can learn himself who ryan selucreh is.

[crowvert-bird]

ok im done translating these i wanna put them in a video but its gonna take me forever to make so here u go!!

rough (if there is any) and polished translations of: the symbols that appear when pebbles is fucking around with artis drone, the single line that appears when hunter revives moon, nishs message to moon (found in rivulets campaign), pebbles message to moon (also found in rivulets campaign), moon talking to spears, pebbles talking to survivor post patch, and pebbles talking to survivor pre patch (idk wat patch it is, all i know is that when i looked in the glyph documentation and went to pebbles myself like a month ago like half of the symbols were different)

artis drone (not sure if it means anything but i translated it anyways)

translation (general): “I hope that you can learn about what you want, to care for the fact that you’re stuck in the cycle. I hope that you can manage to ascend past your chains, for your sake.”

translation (arti-centric): “I hope that you realize what you truly want. To be cared for, to be at peace. No more massacres hidden under the thin veil of revenge, it keeps you from reaching what you long for."

when hunter revives moon

translation: “(typing) Destroy the slag and repair this superstructure.”

nishs message to moon

rough translation:

(nish pfp) peaceful person who helps others

i saw ur situation (lack of water), i will sacrifice some things to help u

this rodent will help u get rid of ur slag

i want this rodent-

predatory rodent give the slag keys to u, moon, ur situation has driven me to find a way to help u.

(hunter pic (or info?))

this hunter will sacrifice itself for u

thats wat i want this rodent to do.

this rodent is a predator, it eats meat

i want u to know that.

im trying to find a way to get pebbles to stop

im sacrificing my resources for u

polished translation:

From: No Significant Harassment (1)

Hey, Moon, I noticed you were barely getting any water, so I’m sending over some slag keys. (2)

They are gonna be delivered by a carnivorous rodent. I’m aware of the unorthodox delivery method, but it is all I can do. (3, 4, 5)

(picture (or is it info?) of hunter)

This hunter specifically will be giving you your slag keys, look out for it. Be careful, it might eat your neuron flies!~ (6, 7, 8, 9)

I am still trying to get Pebbles to calm down though. So in the meantime, have this little care package. (10, 11)

pebbles message to moon

rough translation:

(pebbles pfp) sacrificing parts of me

ive been thinking about ur situation

ive been thinking.

i want-

-moon to be at peace.

know.

you.

im giving u this rarefaction cell

this is wat i want

(rarefaction cell pic or info)

polished translation:

From: Five Pebbles (1)

Over the past cycles, I have been reflecting on how my actions have caused your collapse. (2, 3)

And I have decided that I want you to be well, Looks to the Moon. (4, 5)

Yes, this sentiment, from me to you, Moon. (6, 7)

So I am giving you my rarefaction cell. I will be alright, I want this. (8, 9)

(rarefaction cell info)

moon talking to spears

rough: (moon doesnt know that spears is a messenger yet!!!)

my superstructures slag, slag wants to hurt me, my superstructure wants me to do something about it

(telling spearmaster to stop moving) ur making me uncomfortable

looking to fix (or prevent damage to) superstructure

im hurting, im working to get pebbles to stop taking my water

pebbles learn to realize that my superstructure is damaged, pebbles learn to stop hurting me

send message from my resources, i and my superstructure care about message

my message is about the state of my superstructure

im trying to figure out why hes not responding to me-

-to my message

(superstructure error message):

(“parasite” (in this context, in regular conversation its ”hunter”) flashing all over the screen)

im a creature tasked with looking for whats hurting moon

wats hurting moon is also hurting the superstructure, please figure out y and fix it

wats hurting the superstructure is an unknown material

polished translation:

The slag in my superstructure is causing damage to my structural integrity, to the point where I’m constantly getting told to fix the buildup. (1)

(if spearmaster moves too much) Please stop moving, it’s making me uncomfortable. (2)

So I’ve been trying to tell my neighbor to stop taking all of the groundwater by sending him messages about my current state. He hasn’t been responding to me though, and I’m not sure why. (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

(superstructure error message):

(flashing all over the screen) Parasite (its actually hunter, it just means parasite in this specific situation)

Problem diagnosis: (10)

Damage caused by an unknown material is not limited to the puppet, it’s affecting the entire superstructure. Please fix this problem. (12, 13)

pebbles talking to survivor (post-patch, also the canon one imo)

rough translation:

a materialistic creature, u want to be free from this oscillating claustrophobia in ur chest, to find a way out

know that my entire superstructure relates to this feeling

other beings, experienced the same feeling, the same want, so they made me

im exploring this feeling, a way for me to ascend, others want  to solve the big problem

i give people that peace-

-but that keeps me attached to this world, it prevents me and my entire superstructure from getting a relief from this pain

an iterator i wont name who wanted to ascend was the sole discoverer of a tool to ascend, i aspire to ascend like she did

theres a problem with my tools being tied to this material plane, one caused by the passing of cycles

i will give you something that can destroy your material body (void fluid)

i will give you information from my superstructure

explore my territory and find how to sever ur attachments and disintegrate your material body, listen to my instructions

the mark will help u, know that it will help u ascend, know that it will help u

i want ur kind-

-to please fuck off and leave me and moon alone

polished translation:

A materialistic creature who wants to be freed from this oscillating claustrophobia in their chest, to find a way out. (1)

Know that you are not special. Every living thing experiences this same feeling, from the dull bugs that make up my superstructure, to me, who am, if you excuse me, godlike in comparison.

The good news first. The ancients who craved the same freedom you desire have created me and my kind to, as our very purpose, satiate that want. However, it came with the cost of keeping us attached to this world. I have been trying to achieve that freedom. Meanwhile, the others are toiling away, working on a solution. (2, 3, (look man it just isnt complete without pebbles describing himself as godlike), 4, 5, 6, (5 and 6 can just be smooshed in here with very little consequence ITS FINE!!!))

The bad news. Someone, who I aspire to be like, has discovered a solution but has not publicized it. And as the cycles pass, my equipment erodes into further stages of decay. (7, 8)

However, there is another way out, one that is achieved through the destruction of your material body. Listen to my instructions. Explore my territory in search of a highly corrosive liquid, then bathe in it to sever your attachment to this world. The Mark I gave you will help you find it. (9, 10, 11, 12)

In return I ask that you tell your kind, through whatever noises and dances you communicate with, to leave me and my neighbor alone. (13, 14)

pebbles talking to survivor (pre-patch, the not (or less) canon one)

rough:

creature still attached to this world, want to find a way out

creature learn that u relate to my superstructure

other beings that cared about this attachment, learnt about it and tried to find a way to be at peace

i and my kind were affected by their pursuit of existential peace, i study my material body, others dedicated themselves to their work on solving the big problem

my very being is to explore-

-to find peace for my superstructure

tool was made, from a lone discoverer that a way to ascend exists, i aspire to ascend like she did

i learned that the tools i used to hopefully ascend, have a problem rooted in material life

i will give what others have learnt about materialism, they care about your attachment

i will give The Mark from my resources

u can sever ur attachments, have no more need for peace(???), know that The Mark cares about ur materialism

cares about ur ascension, cares about u, cares about ur ascension from this material plane, will help

u and ur kind are bothering me-

-scratching ur way through my and my neighbors superstructures

polished:

A materialistic creature bound by their chains to this world, who wants to find a way out. (1)

Know that you are not special. This oscillating claustrophobia in your chest is something that every living thing experiences, from the dull bugs that make up my superstructure, to me, who am, if you excuse me, godlike in comparison. The good news first. The ancients who were deeply troubled by their own chains have studied it extensively in order to find a solution, and have created my kind to help perform that job for them. However, I have instead decided to study my own attachments. Meanwhile, the others have dedicated themselves to their work on solving the Big Problem. (2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

The bad news. Someone, who I aspire to be like, has discovered the solution but has not publicized it. And the equipment I use in my studies is eroding into further stages of decay. (7, 8)

However, there is another way out, one through the path the ancients took. You can sever your attachments and leave behind your need for peace. The Mark of Communication that I gave you will help you follow in their footsteps. (9, 10, 11, 12)

In return I ask that you tell your kind to stop scratching your way through me and my neighbor’s superstructures in an attempt to disturb me. (13, 14)

[pandaladie]

My stupid guide to getting the stupid list of people YOU FOLLOW on tumblr

if tumblr has some way fo getting a list of usernames and urls of blogs you follow i don't know of it, if theres some script i don't know it, if theres anything. LET ME KNOW. but since i dont think there is welcome to my bruteforce method of getting a list of people you follow.

I am not a coder, i don't know how to do this with a program, and i dont know of any program that does it, no programmer thats going to or anything so im bruteforcing this in perhaps a stupid way but it works

go to your https://www.tumblr.com/following page

its just this same link, it takes you to the list of everyone you follow Then you need to load EVERY FOLLOWER by scrolling ALLL THE WAY DOWN the list, i have 2000 blogs i follow but ti doesnt take long for me to get to the end, yes you have to do this.

rightclick and select inspect

a box will come up, this might be scary for non techy people, don't worry were just looking at the code underneath the site, nothing you change will be permanent. dont mess around here unless you know kinda what youre doing, but dont be scared for what were gonna do.

there are several tabs to this new window, we want to be in the inspector tab, and when you mouse over the text in here you can notice that it flashes certain parts of tumblr. these different lines all pertain to certain spots of the webpage so you can see what tumblr wants you to see.

we want to find where they put the followers

so were gonna hover over:

and notice that the very center and only the center where you're followers are shown is lit up, that means inside this line somewhere is your follower list ((its not gonna be pretty)) use the little arrow on the side of this line and click it to expand the underlying code (this is really called nesting i think im not a coder, basically when there an arrow, theres stuff in there)

open the next arrow too (main something something)

keep hovering over the lines within this one and see which one lights up the center and only open that one, next one is "section something something" next class something something

now this might start to look familliar to you if you read all these "data-cell-id=" lines these are all the people you follows usernames,

I'm sure someone who knows how to code would be able to grab this in a neat way and put it in a text document for us, but i dont know how to do that i just know i want it.

so what i do is:

right click the line whose arrow we just opened to be able to see this and select "copy, inner html" this line to be clear

and i make a new notepad document(txt) on my computer, and i paste all that shit in there. and yes it looks like complete nonsense because everything is going everywhere with text you dont need or understand. dont worry about it. you still have all your list of following usernames in there.

now i used vs code(or visual studio code) (its a free program you can just get it if you want use google) and you dont even need to know any coding for this cleaning step. to clean this up, i open the document i created with all this shit in it in vs code and it has the capability to select every instance of a word or symbol or whatever and delete every single one, or replace it. it can also write with multiple cursors at the end of every line of text at the same time. so this way i can get rid of all this nonsense stuff to line up everyones usernames the way i'd like.

you can use google to figure out how to do this, or fuff about in vs code, but selecting a chunk and right clicking and choosing "change all occurrences" is what i used the most.

now if someone who actually codes could… help.. help me please.. dont let anyone else have to use this guide, there has to be a better way. thank you i love you

[bikerboyfriend]

pls share ur opinion on why pjotv sucks 👁️ and if there are any redeeming things to it, full review <3

FRIEND <3. Alright so...manee. maneee. Where do we start. I wont say everyth i didnt like i'll j focus on ep 1 & 2

i wanna say 1st and foremost that i knew they were gonna change stuff and i didnt mind however:

the first two. well. three episodes were too rushed. they didn't lay down any foundation, they didnt expand on anything it was just as if they were rushing you along and cutting out any...depth that adds to percy's character

i.e. miss dodds fight is like 0.2 seconds long and she practically falls on his sword + sally and percy barely speak like...about not the plot? if u get me? no speak of montauk in detail, no talk of sally's day really iirc...just.....Lines from the Script

and a lot of the show is just Lines from a Script rather than a believable show

smelly gabe is no longer abusive and is just...mildly annoying? maybe a bit of an asshole? sally even yells at him -- and i get it, but because of the lack of time spent at home + percy's home being damn near PRISTINE + THEY DONT EVEN GO INTO HIS ROOM, there's ZERO like. depth added to percy's character from his home life. i wouldn't mind them changing him if they like....branched it out but they just removed it and did nothing

dionysus, i personally found weird bc i perceive him to be like. ...he just acts like he doesn't care and is pretty much an asshole to percy, but he's still a God, y'know. they didn't do this at all in my opinion...he was weirdly tense the entire time. i just dont like him 😭

percy's claiming scene was 0.1 seconds long, underwhelming and rushed

they made clarisse like...? clarisse is a bully sure, but her reason for being mean to percy is because she provoked him & didn't expect him to talk back--and percy said some snarky shit in the books lmao. in the tv show they like...she doesnt believe he beat the minotaur. Which...i mean...ok

ANYW if i dont stop here i'll go on forever. but what i DID like

they gave grover more depth (i didnt like some things but for the most part, i just like that they tried)

the set design was beautiful

poseidon's claiming....symbol (yk the trident) looked good

casting for the most part is rlly good

but yeah. also keep in mind im like. Austistic. abt pjo. like its a special interest. so i'm way more....picky than i guess most normal fans would be abt shit 😭. but ya!!!

[solardick]

I doubt im getting back to normality” any time soon. Oh, Sightly loathing. You are a something to see. It’s being built up again. I suspect another crisis. Im losing count. The jupiter in aqua is an awefull piece of shit as my brother would say. On the positive side of abuse and harrasment. And placement. And despair. Hig ols steliem of demons. Is what the centaurs are. Playing this horrorscope to a T. Destruction. And glee. Glee? Yeah glee. Its the most consistent thing inknow from others. Its just there. And yet not one person. Noy one person had come forward other than yo gleem a peice of info. Like y’all fo here. Looking for something? I got plenty.

Anyway. I was thinking. a or the other way of writting it. And, o, e, c. Probably a dead end. Maybe not. Blind fool. O fool, the E fool and the high priestess. There it is again. And something new. We got two pillars. An innocemt fool amd a “guilty fool. And the Oo death card. Whichbis neat being a card that uses the letters on the card to speak it own play. Its a passage of time. And a glimpse of the future amd the fear ewith death on thr consequences if it isnt speaking something else also. The distant and the present.

The more convinced i become that this card is wuite magical indeed. And a right slection. Whoch was waiting to be plugged in. Wasn’t my choice. Just the body. The things that come to when one is in solitary.

The marseille fool. The current E-fool. Is a negative figure. I preffer the negative figure. It just nakes more sense. Symbolically. I mean you can try and bend the rules all yah want. So that it fixed as a projection. Cant use waites fool. For that. The blind fool is best. Spwaks the same message and then some. Without all the fancy excesorries. They played the marseeille fool on me. Didn’t really fit cause their wrong but. They dont listen

Know what. Im gonna talk openly about my love for jesus. To everyone around me. Would you kiss jesus with the mouth?! Jesus. Come, here. This guy wants a kiss. Yeah thats what inthought shut the fuck yp. The current list of demons” are called pests. Pestilence. Bzz bzz. Go be by myself. They make sure they fallowed me around and rub in how much they enjoy being cunts.

Well lets put the crusofix back on. Since that is my life. And watch all these cunts give me a hard time. Hey look the weather report id wrong. Its usually spot on to thr minute. But not today its raining out. Not cloudy.

Just because i believe in god doesnt mean i have to be polite about. Hlaf the world is busy sucking eachother off, createing single peramt families and being cunts anyway.

The term cocksukr is poli numerous or however its called. If its been seperated into its original

Teo words. Its literally all in the eye of the beholder. People eat cocks all the time. And to be called a sucker. Means what? Point made.

Oh shit! Its a dove. Good. Doves are good. God agrees with me. The problem

With eating a bird. Requires destruction of natural resources.

Alright. Do an std screening and if thats negative get a rectal cancer screening. If i have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life. Im backing out.

Moral of my life. Dont be an incompetant retard and have children.

n dit turns out god was right when the crows warnes mw agaisnt nate on the day he said we would be working together. He’s just another fucktard that wnjoys fucken with people. Though its weird how he mostly just specificcalt warned me about him. Pudgy batman and the neurotic troll too. To anlesser degree and the others.. not muchnof anything. Odd. Probably because the others dont try and hide it.

After this grouo of people messing with me i womder who the next group will be.

Place after place year after year. Since childhood. Born in hell.

Anyway god. Thanks for looking out for me. In this world full of narcissists. Taken joy in ruining my life. But i dont need it. You’re wasting your time. All life is is other people hurting me. Its all its ever been. Father’s a narsicist. He always showed me elation when talking about having the upoer handover someone. The smiles he used to gove me instead of giving me guidance. Like you used to say about Tony’s father. “I used to use as a punchign bag” said it multiple times when a smile on his face. All life is is this. After 30 years. Of constant upgeaval. I dont want to be alive anymore. Sont waste your time on me. Im not surviving much longer.

Inwish i was a narsicist peice of shit too. Maybe id have a life and be a degwbweate fucktard to the rest of humanity toi and have a sens eof acconomishment. Like lak these others. Ive been beaten since i was 13. Dead since i was 13. They’re never going to stop. I dint know what life is not being fucked with. Its always been this way. An dinknow that theyre never going to stop. They take oleasure in it. Over 30 years mu entire life is other people hirting me. So i doesnt matter what i do. Im stuck her essrroinded by criminal assholes. How have been taling my existance since birth. So just go away. And stop trying to help me. I need them gone. Or your efforts are useless they laugh and mock you god. Leave me be. And let me die. I dont want yiur help anymore. Im not allowed to be myself. Surrounded by all these fucken cocksukrs.

I thought about going to go see for soem help for my psychosocial issues. But then i realized that these faucktards have been engeneering me to be this way. Somits pointless cause its not really me. Its them. I wish there was a lesson for me to learn in allnof this. But theres not.after this many years. Theres notheing to learn. Thats isn’t isnt actually the real world. Its a torutee chamber i was born in. And have been a target in sinve birth. Theres nothign to take away from it.

I have a life sentence of being fucked woth foe other reason then being born. Im hoing to start leaving my door unlocked so, y’all can vome in freely and drug up my food again. And do whatever sicknand twisted y’all want to do to me. 39 and i still dont know what havign a sense of securoty feels like. Womder what it feels like being libed and having someone hows got your back. I womder what it feels like not havign an environemnt animinical to uour well being. I wimder what it feels like being a narcissi t peice of shot. Womder whatn it feels like feelig. Rightious while destroying and slowly killing soemones life. Wonder what it feels like havign responsibility for someone else life. Womder what it feels like beign there and supporting someone you know isn’t fucking with uou. Winder ehat life would be like not being raised by enemies. Wo

We what its like not being an object of ridicule. Womder what its like havign i sider i formation on my own life. The world had been plotting agaisnt me sonce i was a child. I wish there was soemthign to learn in life. But, theees not. Ive already learnt wverything 30 years ago. I have a teachers personality. And everyone treats me like im a in now at all bettwr than thou charecter. Its easier to lear. While you teach. To bad being a study means you never learn anything. Eomder what its like not being serroundd by criminals. Havign people, shoving dick and drugs in your face everyday. Been that way since choldhood. Its never going to change.

Hey its my birthday tomorow. Wonder what sick twosted bs their going to gove me. My retarded invred family will

Probably send me money. Ugh. More cash to donate to charity supposed.

[her-canine-teeth]

decided to not make a whole analysis bc. thats much so im just gonna like write my thoughts to each line! slay.

spiracle by flower face - notes

!!i dont have like many symbolism here yet. and with that i mean almost nothing; i was mainly, like, testing the waters or smth bc it was the first one etc and i wasnt really familiar with anything just yet.

I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing

jackie's quiet, shauna isnt.

The salt on your lips and the hands that god gave you

'salt' -> ocean -> water

And I want your violence, your silent sedation(....) who ever she killed not sure

violence is pretty obvious i think; sedation sounds kinda sterile to me and the clip too

Your moon eyes, your telescope,

literally had no other ideas

morbid fixation

it does seem. morbid sorta

And I want your pyro,

fire

your born-again virgin

she wasnt a vigrin when she died. but for a pretty long time. and shes like 'born again' in shaunas mind yk??

Your hands on my insides, your fingertips crawling

makes sense

And I want your Jesus,

I THINK she sorta looks like holy?? savior typa IDK how to say that. but it reminds me of jesus.

your suicide mission

died

Your lips on the microphone,

bc shes like leading, actively the captain

soft disposition

looks rlly soft <3

And I want your parties,

party

the shark in your water

fit somehow im not sure anymore ahhh also dont have any notes. but i still think it fits

The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over

blood that spills over = cheating

And I want your zeroes,

sorta seems at a low point

your polluted marrow

.sorta obvious i think

The sweat on your palms and

bc shes like nervous, she doesnt know what to say

your surveillance shadow

she still there, in the distance, watching over shauna and she cant get closer; if jackie is a shadow, then shauna is the light.

I want your secrets,

fits with jackies line

your clementine fields

i googled clemetine meaning and it means innocence and i thought that fit like rlly well

The ropes that you climb up,

sorta a stretch; the ropes are jeff (that shes climbing for a 'normal', heterosexual life). jackie wants this (otherwise she wouldntve been with jeff pre crash) but shauna is the one to eventually actually climb them/marry him.

the parts that won't heal

still succumbs to violence or however you want to call it. thought it more fitting to her killing adam bc the rabbit required like precision n shit

I want your safe word,

idk

your passive resistance

shauna doesnt want it, but still isnt active.

The sickness you foster, your favorite addictions

quite obvious too i think. personally one of my fav parts

And I want your nightmares, the ghost in your doorway

shes a ghost, shes in something sort of resembling a doorway

Your paralyzed sleep and your- [scream]

thought it was funny, also it is indeed true. if i like had to choose then the scream is my fav part i think esp bc it just lines up so wellll like the death scene and everything really

I want you, butterfly, I want you, sailor

actually asked sb what theyd say who is who but since ive watched it like a feww times and: jackie is the butterfly bc shes a beautiful (and seen as such) and fragile (was the first to die). also she has a butterfly shirt (which is worn by shauna later on - which was actually the reason I asked sb! bc i was unsure if i should use shauna in the shirt. but then i decided against it, mainly bc i didnt like the vibe of the clip and i wanted them to interact). the symbolic meaning of butterflies doesnt really fit her (transformation, change, growth)(really its more the opposite) BUT it doesnt fit shauna as well.

shauna is the sailor bc she like sailed away and left jackie behind, a million miles apart and unable to do anything but to dream of each other (which jackie is doing then). technically, jackie is leaving here, but this is still jackies last goodbye (even though its imagined)

I am your lover and I am your jailor

originally 'I am your lover' was supposed to be 'thats not what youre hungry for' but i changed it. Not sure why (like id do it again but idk why) but its like. shes (the picture) her lover shes gone she wont (cant) ever come back (not rlly) shes representing everything that was and thats been lost (everything thats irredemable. shauna herself.) shes her lover but shes not real (shes not even a hallucination that only shauna can see, but a picture that everyone can see and does see bc its on a really big screen on a get-together with many people; shes not shaunas, she doesnt belong to shauna which she never has - even though thats all that shauna wants. (I think jackie thinks, or at least feels otherwise. whcih shauna doestn know, of course, cause their communication is ATROCIOUS)). shes never been real, actually, cause whats shown on the screen is the jackie that shes been showing them, not the one she really is (today she is pretending for shauna, too. she doesnt, cant see her real self, who she really is; theres nothing beneath the surface of 'jackie, homecoming queen' anymore)

shauna is the jailor bc she wont let jackie go. in doing that (and in living the life jackie was supposed to live, represented by jeff being with her at the function) shes also her own jailor