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skippingseaglass · 1 day ago

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sword of damocles?

#my art #n murder drones #murder drones n #serial designation n #tessa james elliot #tessa murder drones #md n #md tessa #tessa md #ok tags over #there was a good amount of projection here but this one isnt as bad as some of the other ones #so here it is! :']#im going to disappear again #im still not doing so well but i think maybe i have a chance #its all a bit confusing but i think i'll be okay #have a good night whenever that may be #oh wait before i go #the file's named birthright.png in case thats interesting #haha okay goodnight all

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bogbees · 2 days ago

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my current plan for drift au is like

Iruka: so here's the training room— oh, pardon us Hatake-san. I thought it'd be empty this time of day

Kakashi: fancy that, so did I

Iruka: ah, well, we'll be leaving then, sorry for the intrusion—

Naruto: hey, hey, what does sparring look like? can you show us? you n Kakashi-sensei

Iruka: i don't know... maybe not today—

Kakashi: ah, why not sensei, let's teach em what disappointment looks like

Iruka: *thousand yard stare* *removes knit sweater to reveal a nearly too tight button up* if you insist

Kakashi obviously gets a bit embarrassed by how hot Iruka looks. mostly the transformation fr goofy pencil pusher to the front page cover for every gay porno mag ever made. plus maybe idk a past infatuation that won't die?

Iruka just wants a chance to smack him upside the head for his rudeness.

whoops. turns out they're extremely drift compatible based off their quick spar. neither have any words. Kakashi is low-key upset he's gonna have to pilot again and kill Iruka this time. Iruka's just surprised by how... right it felt. he tries to cool his nerves, Kakashi interpts it as "oh no the grim reaper is coming for me next" fear, bc he's not aware Iruka might just be genuinely kinda amped up ab being toe-to-toe with a renowned pilot with a lot of kaiju kills. so Kakashi storms off. Iruka tries to calm his brain and his class.

he's ultimately hoping nobody finds out. he won't do well as a pilot, just let him do the paperwork for the base PLEASE.

now. they get hooked up with the actual machine to drift. it's stellar. until Kakashi starts freaking out ab how good it's going. Iruka tries to help but they're already fucked it up a bit.

now I'm thinking. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura end up taking the new mech. bc their drift results turned out better than Iruka and Kakashi's, but mostly bc they have less opportunity for failure; they're not riddled with depression and chronic illness.

so. Kakashi and Iruka get benched and become newt and herman without intention. like. idk. they finally go insane, try to hide away in a broom closet to make out, only it's the research lab, and with Iruka's book smarts and Kakashi's physical smarts (as in he knows kaiju patterns fr dealing with so many) (and Iruka's hobby is studying up on them in his spare time) they figure out the breech.

im imagining Kakashi trying to fuck Iruka senseless on some desk, only for Iruka to get distracted by the papers and he's like "wait, wait, look at this," effectively killing the mood by distracting the both of them.

i want iruka to be the one to drift with the kaiju??? idk fuuinjutsu feels like a mad scientist sorta deal

Mizuki still attacks Naruto and Iruka still saves his life by offering his own

Ramen. Dandelion yellow hair. Summer. Okinawa beach. Onsen. Bath. Ramen. Ma, Pa. Auntie Kushina. Ramen. School.

???

#bogs' muttering #kakairu

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lovesickeros · 7 months ago

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☆ de fontaine

{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!

She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.

She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.

Furina is tired.

But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?

So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.

Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.

Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.

An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.

She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.

She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.

She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.

And Furina has always been good at lying.

It's the believing that's the hard part.

There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?

Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.

She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?

She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.

Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?

Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.

Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?

They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?

"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"

Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.

Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.

Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.

Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.

"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.

But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.

They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.

She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.

If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..

Furina will make sure they do.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #fic tag #furina #so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe #furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal #furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her #playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy #furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown #sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all #because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end

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sluckythewizard · 5 months ago

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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'

#cw blood #SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten #its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then #fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something #also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve #but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere #ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP #THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed #kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me #from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream #and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him #she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she #is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK #I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs #LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH #THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED #TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER #oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much

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deus-ex-mona · 4 months ago

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i miss her…

#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all #but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up #a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less #and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads #anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time #he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often #my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know #i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona #i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye #oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man

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aria0fgold · 10 months ago

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So that's... the power of Luocha e1... I get it now. I am now a lil less salty from losing my 75/25.

#aria rants #was doing the new world 9 of su without geppie (very nervously too cuz im not used to not having a shielder)#but am like. well i have luocha e2 so maaaaaybe itll be fine? still nervous cuz the last boss of world 9 is the smth unto death #and i just KNOW im gonna have a hard time with that thing. well... turns out i didnt... luocha e1 is so good actually #i had ratio. himeko. bronya (oh yea and her lc i got FROM THE 75/25 LOST. i think that contributed too actually). and luocha #my ratio is decently built but still weaker than my argenti thats so far my strongest in su (esp g&g with the erudition path)#took elation path. got to the last boss with pretty okay blessings. it didnt stand a chance... it didnt actually get much of a turn...#first time i got to do that with an su boss ngl! i never got to kill em fast enough but i managed now! yippee!!! maybe losing that #75/25 wasnt so bad after all. my bronya is stronger with her buffs (i dont... i dont have any other buffer than her...) and my #luocha can finally give buffs AND shield! my team is looking pretty good. (yea since my luck is bad i couldnt get ruan mei and sparkle)#i think ratio's banner was during ruan mei's banner? and i had to get his lc (i needed him to be strong for imaginary dps)#and i couldnt try for sparkle much cuz i was planning on going for aven (which as you can see. my plans went terribly with luocha rerun)#im still gonna try for aven cuz i need another shielder than geppie and aven's kit seems to be the right fit for my ratio #back to the saving board...... hsr rng i hate you but also i cant hate you enough cuz tbf my team DID get stronger a bit...

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smol-tired-binch-blog · 2 years ago

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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

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kimmkitsuragi · 8 months ago

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not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything

#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh #dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol #im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so #i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today #bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao #ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome #stupid girl as always #anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry #if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this #well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid #got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3 #truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao #what's even more stupid is im still like well. well 🤠 hey maybe 🤗#i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao #and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao #truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc #all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like 😴😴😴 still hoping for the best dont worry #and that's because im stupid #🗒#i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/

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arolesbianism · 1 year ago

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I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again

#rat rambles #starve posting #like I do have dead serious wendy trans thoughts tm even some that actually relate to his quotes high bar I know gkfndkd #its just so fun reading him as a trans egg thats one breakdown away from being smashed #and also gives me some yummy tasty thoughts abt both wendy and abby and the inivertable fact that as time goes on the only remnant of #abby's face is going to shift and change more until it can no longer even be a reminder of what was lost #which must be a Horrifying idea to wendy even if chances are he hasn't rly internalized this concept yet #and for abby especially if you're like me and go for a more silhouette style ghost design for her youve gotta imagine how fucky it is to #watch your twin grow up and change in ways you never will #Im also a agender abby who will likely never realize believer because shes just like younger me fr #like shes low key just me as a little kid but without the anxiety disorder #anyways back to the topic of wendy genderism Im honestly surprised Ive never seen a he/him wendy hc before #Im not surprised at not finding any trans guy wendys but there rly isnt much variety in nonbinary wendys despite it being fairly common #I just like trans guy wendy cause he gives me those vibes #its the weird little girl to cringe fail trans man pipeline or smth idk #give him a couple years eventually he'll be a grimy lil freak of a teenage boy #if abby didnt die and knew abt gender stuff itd still take her 30 years minimum to even consider she might be not a girl maybe #not because she's hard in denial abt gender stuff shes just is in the classic headspace of 'well I dont Think I care so I must be cis ig'#same with my aro abby hcs but walter is super not helping #as Ive said before they are aro echo chamber besties dont try to tell them romance is real they will not believe you #hey better then whateve the fuck wendy would have to go through if one of the trans men around him offered solidarity #I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me #the only somewhat normal trans guy there is warly but hes french so it cancels out

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usagifuyusummer · 4 months ago

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Is this what you meant @jjimene123, on the Timmy Turner and Pink Diamond parallels lmao?

Been thinking abt this quote from end of an era!! It makes me THINK

#steven universe #oh that was where they were going for the writings of the diamonds #that is interesting profoundly so #i see pink diamond views herself as inferior powerless and i guess that hints to her having such a low self esteem lmao oof #but she doesn't realise how actually powerful she is by the change that she brought to so many of her subjects by the plans she made...#the war... her tendency to leave others behind because i think this stems from her low-self esteem as well like she doesn't think #she's worthy of being loved and worshipped by so many because of who she is destined to be by her birthright #a cold unfeeling diamond whose purpose is to just find suitable planets to continue their species survival... hm #kinda thinking about this because there's this one time a user brought up how similar timmy and pink diamond are and i laughed so hard #hahahaahha i mean they're both pink ahsfsgahah still i think that user has a point it made me think how actually quite similar they are #like they both think they are very powerless but in fact they are so powerful that they brought change. destruction. reformation. etc.#they both changed so many characters lives in their own respective series in so many ways negatively or positively #that they don't even realise the power that they actually hold #both of them got the short end of the stick in terms of canon though... maybe pink diamond had to sacrifice herself for the love she holds #towards humanity... and her family. and timmy im not sure where he is right now but most people think that he lost his memories #of the creatures who showed him love and comfort and what's it like to have complete trust towards others #they both continue to experience loss for their love... and damn that's just a shitty life to live #i do think they both did a lot of things wrong because well they both don't have positive major influences as they were growing up #pink diamond... well yeah look at who raised her lmao. and timmy? yeesh what a mixed bag of parents he has.#timmy was so polite when he was young... i've seen abra-catastrophe and like he was so sweet??? how did that sweet summer child turn into a #mischevious little devil? well his parents started telling him little white lies #and leaving him behind with a babysitter that has a high chance of killing him. that's how lmao. plus school with francis and crocker?#the universe hates him so much hahahaa #thoughts and theories #pink diamond

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yume-no-miya · 4 months ago

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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her

#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type #like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light #though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc #he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him #will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her #pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun #but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting #him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao #like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult #but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince #but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other #sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a #expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends #yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]

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thebigqueer · 4 months ago

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its so funny to me that she was like 'you deserve better' because little does she even know she genuilnely was best. like no one is ever going to top her. and i know with my full heart that she will find better than me and im supposed to want that for her but i really really dont. cuz i know theres so much better than me but theres no one better than her