#dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol
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not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything
#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh#dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol#im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so#i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today#bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao#ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome#stupid girl as always#anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry#if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this#well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid#got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3#truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao#what's even more stupid is im still like well. well š¤ hey maybe š¤#i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao#and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao#truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc#all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like š“š“š“ still hoping for the best dont worry#and that's because im stupid#š#i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/
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still not over the fact that all your work is trĆØs magnifique š (dont mind me binge reading at 4am)
if i may request, how do you think dream would react when his lover(reader) is very jumpy or easily flinches. we all know morpheus can be rather mysterious-in-the-shadows type and as someone with anxiety i feel like him popping out of no where will just make me jump all the time
Hold My Hand
Dream of the Endless x Reader
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures, your measure for Dream giving you near death experiences involved a very particular accessory.
Word Count: >600
Warnings: some kinky inclinations lol, gender neutral!reader, kitty meow meow dream (real), pouty!dream, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: HHIHIHI IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS ENOUGH TO LOSE SLEEP OVER IT ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT ALSO GET SOME SLEEP PLS T_T the gif is how i imagine dream apologizes for scaring you Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9
I let out a long, exaggeratedly prolonged, scream when I feel someone come up from behind me in this dead end of the library. It was instantaneous, the hug and the concerned voice that came after.
I mean I really was scared, but still, I was 100% sure I was born dramatic. I heaved heavily as I leaned into the embrace of the being behind me.
Dream cranes his neck down to kiss the side of my neck, "I apologize, my dear," he speaks with genuine guilt, "I was only thinking about how you told me you enjoyed back hugs and I could not help myself."
"It's fine," I sigh deeply, placing the book in my hand back in the shelf.
Dream, although he knew I was not making an attempt to leave him, pulls me back, as if unwilling to have a fraction of space between us. I chuckle, "alright, alright, gimme a sec, geez."
Once the book is back in its spot, I twist in his arms and position myself into a comfortable embrace, cheek pressing against his chest.
Dream tightens his hold, relaxing against me; his previous guilt of rousing my anxiousness finally seemed to leave him.
I can't help but chuckle when he nuzzles against my head, "rough day?"
He hums, "everything is suddenly bearable after I feel your touch."
I smile against him and pull back to show this. In contrast, he has his pouty lips curved down and it makes my brows raise, "what's wrong, Dreamy?"
"I do not enjoy the fact I keep agitating you when I phase to your side."
I snort, "well, actually," I pull away from him, "I may have a solution."
His brows furrow, appalled by the fact I was pulling away from him. His frown deepens.
"Dream," I chuckle, "I'm literally still right here, please, I just need to get something out of my pocket."
A line between his brows forms. He barely loosens his tight grip on me. I cannot help but press my lips as I look at him in amused annoyance.
"Here," I say, as a pull out a tiny choker and dangle it between our faces.
Dream averts his attention, furrowed brows raising.
"I had a cat once," I start, undoing the clasp of the necklace, "she was so sneaky, my family did not know peace until we gave her a bell."
I bring my hand over his shoulders, placing the black and gold thing around his neck. I rise to my toes and look over Dream's shoulder when I do this. Once I am done securing it, I release a sigh and fall flat on my feet. "Now," I smile, grabbing his cheeks, "I might find peace with your bell."
Dream looks down at the choker. I grab the bell at the center so that he could see it, but I'm unsure he does.
His hands travel up my back as he averts his gaze back upon me, "if it can rid of my jump scare tendencies-"
I snort at his use of my term.
"- then I am happy to wear it."
I break into a fit of giggles when he leans in and peppers my face with kisses. As innocent as those were, my breathing begins to grow heavy when his lips trail down my neck, "Dream... Lucienne might catch us again..."
Meanwhile Matthew's head cocks from side to side as he looks for bright ringing sound he could not for the life of him find. "Lucienne, am I going bonkers, or do you also hear that bell ringing?" "I thought you were already bonkers." "Lucienne, I'm serious-" Matthew's beak stays open when he sees Dream pass by out of nowhere. "D-Did you- did he- is he wearing a collar?" "Matthew, Dream is a consenting adult-- in fact, he's much older than that." Safe to say, the sound of the bell was so much more hard to ignore now.
#dream of the endless fanfic#dream of the endless fluff#the sandman fanfic#the sandman fluff#the sandman x reader#dream of the endless smut#morpheus fluff#the sandman x you#dream x you#dream fanfic#dream of the endless x reader#dream of the endless x you#morpheus x reader#morpheus x you
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Pink Floyd Impression
SOO UHHH CAS GOT ME LISTENING TO THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON FUN
Ok ngl this shit is COOL
speak to me and breathe in air are really pretty openers. And the first three tracks flowed into each other nice which was saTISFYING
on the run got me feeling like I should be fighting a boss in an 8-bit video game but itās cool ya know
Iāve decided I donāt like on the run that much Iām sorry
Off topic but Iām eating my dinner as Iām listening and itās velveeta mac and cheese which is disgusting donāt buy it
Time started and I JUMPED the alarms shOOK ME
OK THE USE OF PRETTY MUCH NONMUSICAL SOUNDS IS SO COOL??? Like the bells and the walking and the radio chatter itās just interesting!!!
One minute into time and itās cool
The part before he starts singing is rly pretty
It feels weird but idk how to explain
OK IM GONNA TRY TO EXPLAIN BUT IM GONNA SOUND LIKE A CRACKHEAD DONT MIND ME
itās like,,, this is ok this is fine I can breathe but also wATCH OUT thereās something sneaky behind you
Ok this dudes voice is so?? Pretty???
Like he starting singing and I just sighed
DAMN TIME IS SO!!! COOL!!!!!!!
This guitar solo has me bOPPIN
Thereās so many vibes I just wanna sit in this song forever
Oo the gig in the sky is next Cas asked me to listen to this yesterday and I got through half of it before I had to leave.
I donāt remember much of it tbh I wasnāt fully paying attention
ok tggits is on why is this piano getting me in my fEELS
oh ok but itās nice though. Itās like wait is this sad?? No no itās ok
I feel like Iām gonna be very wrong about that later
THESE VOCALS MAN I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE CRYING
ok shit I looked back at the lyrics and really thought about them with the title and the cRAZY WICKED VOCALS and just ETHEREAL instruments and
Oh no
Just texted Cas āBRO WHAT THE HELL IM EVERYWHERE AND NOWHEREā as a sorta like update and I mean
Yeah.
I didnāt hear the whispering so I guess Iām not dying
OK MONEY CAME ON AND I IMMEDIATELY FEEL LIKE TEN TIMES CLASSIER
Whereās my three piece suit, cane, fedora, and gold rings
I LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT CARDI BāS SONG INSTEAD I WAS SO SCARED
I like
Guitar
This is good kush
Hey can we talk about drums for a second
I donāt know shit about drums but
THIS. This is BANGIN
I love the chatter in the back!!!!! It adds such character oh wow
Oh yeah Us and Them we got them oRGANS
Also smooth transition that was nice
I love how slow and smooth this is itās like softly rolling ocean waves
Sax is pretty I like you
Iām wondering if this will get really fast or just stay slow either way Iām happy
It picked up for a bit and I like I like
Gosh itās, sAD. Why are they so emo lol
STOP WHY AM I CRYING DMVHEMGH
That was crazy pretty.
Any colour you like. You know what I like? THIS
Just instrumental stuff is sO pretty and fun
Brain damage is on!
Idk why my first thought was ādear prudenceā am I ok
wOah tHerE eDge LoRd
āDw friend Iāll be sad with uā
Gosh that was pretty but also sAD
Damn! These guys and their flawless transitions! Itās satisfying
Eclipse is the last song and now Iām kinda sad
Like because the albums over not just because these guys are eMO
GOSH THEYVE GOT POWER
theyāre so PRESENT
And full! So very full itās gorgeous
Ok the album is over and uhhh.
Wow. Holy sHIT. I sound dramatic but Iām woke lol
I think my favorite songs are time, us and them, and brain damage.
Thatās a whole experience like,, Iām feeling a lot haha
Cas made me a playlist with a lot more stuff so I am eXCITE
Sorry this is so damn long but aaahhhhh I felt like writing and I wanted something to do while I listened so why not! Documenting things is always lovely and itās nice having stuff to look back on. Maybe my take of the album will change and itāll be interesting to see what I used to think who knows?
So there you have it! An amateur talks about Pink Floyd :)
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Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x12 & 13
IF YOU FALL I WILL CATCH U IāLL BE WAITING........ T I M E A F T E R T I M E
One season down...... Itās a Finale Double Whammy, just as it aired back in 2007! Crumbs of Jack Lore drop into our laps, some absolute plot bullshit takes place, an old man is there!!! fuck it letās get this over with
content warn: pisstaking, fun having, oh! plot bullshit!, i absolutely lose my fucking mind, Owen Harper!!! I Wonāt Hesitate Bitch
1x12Ā ācaptain jack harknessā
- a thought before we dive in, but man owen gets A LOT of story stuff over the course of the 2 seasons heās in right??? like more story stuff than ianto and tosh combined. interesting
- AH FUCK!!! A VOTE SAXON POSTER. REMEMBER WHEN?
- so..... hereās a thing.Ā āOhhh people have heard music from a derelict building! better send torchwood in!ā how... does that come about? Could it be squatters or something??? fuck it, letās send in a Secret Government Agency! theyāll sort it out. i mean we donāt know what they do exactly but i imagine at least one of them is a ghostbuster or something lmao, whatever
- OH NO THIS CREEPY OLD BITCH!!! i forgot how scary he looked!! god, this dude must be a million, or a vampire, or likely both
- toshās eyes get SO BIG WHEN THAT GUY ASKS HER TO DANCE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! sheās the best one!!!!!!
- wish i could wipe this episode entirely from my memory because that fucking reveal when the Real jack harkness introduces himself? FĀ Ā UĀ Ā CĀ Ā K
- speaking of tosh, finding it extremely unconvincing that she, a tech nerd, would go out with a laptop with an almost completely flat battery... like, cāmon. she would be prepared
- Gwen cooper, a fully adult woman: haha me and my friends;;;; came here 4 a dare;;; cos its spooky lol....
- the camera on this show has me fucking SCREEEAMING āHe wears a cravat.ā THEREāS A DRAMATIC SLOW MOTION ZOOM IN ON THIS GUYS FUCKING CRAVAT AND THEN ON IANTOāS FACE LOOKING AT IT AND ITS ALL IN FUCKING EARNEST LET ME DIE!!!!!!!!!
- the dance theyāre at is calledĀ āKISS THE BOYS GOODBYE DANCEā, which is what my finishing move would be called if i was a character in a fighting game
- ianto and owen slapfighting over their shit girlfriend experiences fucking owns genuinely lmao
- tosh pops the top off a tin and then cuts her hand open on the obviously blunt fucking lid?????? jesus christ
-Ā āIām tired of living in awe of the rift!!!ā .....................first iāve heard of it. I love that owen is talking as though the rift has been a major fucking factor throughout the entire series up until this point, rather than a thing thatās just been vaguely fucking referenced as the reason why a bunch of weird shit just seems to happen in cardiff. no, im not standing for this. You canāt pull out the rift at the eleventh hour and then talk about it as though itās a Hugely Important plot device when the biggest role itās had over the stretch of the entire 11 Whole Ass episodes prefacing this was to allow the plane to come through inĀ āout of timeā. yāall have barely mentioned the rift this entire time and now you want to act like its the hellmouth??? eat my ass!!!!!!
- and continuing on that note: apparently theyāve had a machine that can manipulate the rift in the hub......... the entire goddamn time. but no one thought to MENTION it i guess!!!!!!!! pfft, why would THAT be important??? right???? right?????
this plot bullshit almost makes me feel bad for how harsh i was aboutĀ ācyberwomanā but, i will admit.... despite this Absolute Fucking Nonsense, i do find the jack and tosh storyline in this episode really fun and interesting. its just unfortunate that all the stuff arrrrround that is some kind of fic scrawled in the back of a kidās math book.
- also the size of owenās fucking NADS in this episode!!!!!!!! āDonāt compare yourself to me.ā SAYS MAN CRYING OVER THE GIRL HE KNEW FOR ONE (1!) (SINGULAR) WEEK!!!! as opposed to iantoās longterm girlfriend being turned into a monster and eventually murdered by his own team!!!! Like, i understand thatās owenās problem actually goes beyond that, and its not so much about diane herself but about the fact that he let himself feel close to someone again after his fiancee died but for us, The Audience, watching this as it airs... we havenāt unlocked owenās tragic backstory yet. and without knowing all that it just makes owen look really bad and like a huge fucking tool lmfao.
- NEVERMIND THE END IS GAY AND SAD AND YāKNOW!!!!!! i am a man of simple pleasures, at heart, and so... iāll let it slide. jack meeting his namesake knowing that heās going to die and them having a moment is more of the kind of emotional content we would get in episodes of doctor who, and its Just Right
- in honesty, theres a bunch of stuff about this ep that i DO like. that tosh gets a prominant role for a change, while gwen gets to do fuck all. the whole Real Jack story. owen gets shot and pops a tit out at the end. its just unfortunate thats its all wrapped up in this rift thing thats been wheeled out last minute for a Big Season Finale with no real foreshadowing or build up to it at all lmao. but, moving on...............................................................................................
1x13Ā āend of daysā
- RHYS BUNS DETECTED, A SOUND WAY TO KICK OFF ANY EPISODE
- lovely reading voice iantoās got..... i also like owen acting up to make sure we know that they remember him being shot in the shoulder last episode lol.
-Ā āowen, if you open the rift youāll break itā (owen opens the rift anyway)Ā āowen, you opening the rift broke itā (owen GASPS IN DISMAY, ME??? REALLY?) yes bitch open your ears
-Ā āSo are we going to sit around crying into our lattes or are we gonna do something about it?ā OWEN..... IS THIS. SUPPOSED TO SOUND BADASS I.... GENUINELY CANT TELL? IT SOUNDS BAD, OWEN
- jack was so likeable last ep now heās a DICK. gwen calls him out on how he talked to owen and heās really fucking catty at HER for no reason at all????
- i haaaaaaaaate this scene in the hospital where a Mystery Illness has all the fucking symptoms of the bubonic plague but apparently every doctor in the entire hospital never did high school level history and are all incapable of recognising it. if fucking *i* know what symptoms of the bubonic plague are im sure they didnāt need Absolute Brain Genius Owen Harper who is seemingly the only person with any sense in cardiff to come in and diagnose it. i also hate how owen just like casually mentions to the doctor yep, this is caused by people falling through time dude yknow!!! like they do!! expect more of this to keep happening probably idk!!
-Ā āI CANāT BELIEVE YOU OPENED THE RIFT WITH THIS MACHINE WE HAVE THATāS FOR UHHHHHHHH UHHHHHHH OPENING THE RIFT *big fuck off galaxy brain*ā thats basically this episode.
- i love that owen has followed jack all this time but NOW in a crisis is the time to actually lose it and start questioning his authority bc they dont Actually know who jack is like???? youāve been fine not knowing this entire time before??? thats not to say that jack isnāt an entire dumbass himself. he expects them all to follow him blindly and its so creepy. heās like a cult leader, and as they all have Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that ive mentioned in previous episode run downs theyāve all just gone along with it.
- owen having a little cry on the way out is such a Good scene bc he puts on such a brave and defiant front tho šššš
- i dont know why the really quick flashback to diane flying off in the plane made me lose my fucking mind, its just likeĀ āLMAO IN CASE U FORGOT: SHE WAS THE PLANE LADY. I KNOW SHE WAS ONLY IN FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES, BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.ā
- gwen for fucks sake!!!!!!!! not again!!!!! after all the cryptic shit and lies sheās told rhys up until this point, she now knocks him out and locks him in a cell and STILL offers no explanation. this poor fucking dude!!!!!!!!! and itās about to get even worse for him...
- the way gwen screamsĀ āRHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUURRRRRSSSSSā
- YES EVERYONE REBEL AGAINST JACK!!!!!!! FUCK THIS DUDE!!!! youāre doing what a creepy old dude who is Absolutely Definitely evil wants, but still
- why does gwen start doing shit on the computer when toshiko, the computer expert, is standing right there, like.............
- JACK TRYING TO SMACKTALK TO ENTIRE GANG LIKE HIS OWN CLOSET ISNāT CHOCKFUL OF FUCKING SKELETONS
- i forget, does anyone know jackās immortal apart from gwen? or was it just the shock of owen actually Shooting Their Boss? the only onscreen death i can recall of his after suzie shot him was in ācyberwomanā
- god, minutes ago they were all like FUCK JACK!!!! JACK DOESNāT KNOW HOW TO SAVE US AFTER ALL!!! and now theyre all crawling back asking jack to save them all from cgi pig Ganon and its just..... a lot to happen, over the space of about half an hour.
- the ending is so anticlimatic and also why does sucking all the Yummy Life Energy out of jack make abaddon die?????????? Though in its defence... after like 3 bowls of cereal, i too am like OUCH OOF MY BONES
- aaaaaaaaaand rhys is back! will he get treated any better from here on out? i dont remember!!! guess weāll see.
- bit much of gwen whoās actually known jack the shortest time of them all to be like NO, let ME be with him uwuwuwuuw
- ahhh!!! ianto smelling jackās coat ;_;
- aaaand jackās back too. AND HE GETS TO HOLD A CRYING OWEN? FOR ME? oh you shouldnāt have! this Almost makes up for all that rift plot bullshit (almost. i still know what u did.)
- ANDDDDD OH SHIT. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GOOD ENDING. HERE COMES THE TARDIS. FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...............................and there it goes. one season down. sorry this one was so long!!! i love and appreciate anyone to takes the time to read these posts. thank u!!!!
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in a pickle
so not bts related BUT I need someone to help me calm down super badly lmfao sksk but i visited my cousins this weekend for a housewarming party and she invited some of her friends, naturally there were some dudes and they were really cool but there was like one dude who didnāt really talk but it was obvious he was social in school you know? irrelevant lmfao but like he didnāt introduce himself to me and all of the other guys did and itās fine I didnāt care but like some time later into the party when I changed out of my indian clothes and into my American clothes (damn Iām so glad I brought nice clothes sksks) like istg he was looking at me but like not in a creepy way you know just like in a way IDK anywAYS i come into the room w my sister and my cousin and weāre like talking and I can see him I CAN SEE HIM looking at me thru my peripheral vision and idk whatās like up u know I was like āshit is there something on my face? am I ugly?? Didnāt your mom tell you it was rude to stare???ā lmao I was so confused but then he asks if we wanna play cards and thatās when I REALLY saw his face and he wasnāt super cute ( my standards are ruined due To BTS) but he was cute and his face was so clear and his teeth were so gd white and I was like āYES I WILL PLAYā sksks I didnāt scream it but I said it so quickly ahHahHAH. Ok so weāre playing this game called scum and him and I are giving each other looks but DUDE IDK WHATāS CONSIDERED FLIRTING AND WHATāS CONSIDERED FRIENDLY OK IM NEW TO ANYONE EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME LMFAO but itās like fun and all but then we start playing the card game ābsāand oh. my. fucking. god. Itās like I understood the true meaning of chemistry (I hate myself Iām so dramatic forgive me) like the whole time it felt like it was just me and him playing (ew Iām so sorry thatās so cringe lol) like he would keep giving me looks and would only try to see if I was bullshitting and he wanted to call me out but he never did. Like the first round I bsād but he didnāt call me out but he knew and the second the other person went I started giggling cuz him and I both knew I didnāt actually put down the right card and he goes āshit I knew itā And he had this big goofy smile ::((( And he asked my name like a million times but itās so fucking ironic I never got his and I AM SO FUCKING MAD and it makes me so sad cuz he was so sweet and nice and Iāll never see him again cuz he lives in another state so I did something. Obviously, duh. I stalked my cousins insta and I found his account and I freaked for an hour but I got peer pressured by like twelve of my friends to just full send that shit and request and so I fucking did and GUYS. Itās been 9 hours. 9 GODDAMN FUCKING HOURS AND HE HASNT ACCEPTED IM LOWKEY UPSET SKSKS LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING?? ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DYING TO SEE WHAT U LOOK LIKE ACCEPT MY REQUEST IVE NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS FOR A BOY. ugh yeah anyway heās been on my mind for the last day and I lowkey miss him sksksksk I sound like such a creep I hung out w him for like three hours and Iām whipped bc of what??? He asked to play cards??? Iām delulu BUT IDC ANSWER MY REQUEST YOURE CUTE AND YOU MADE ME LAUGH JUST LIKE PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME IT WAS RLLY BOLD OF ME TO EVEN REQUEST YOU DONT EMBARRASS ME MAN ALL MY FRIENDS ARE WAITING,,, yeahhh so thatās that Um idk what the pt of this was besides that he was cute and Iām scared of rejection lol
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