#im so wasted its not even funny
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When the four loko unlocks your 5th loko
#im so drunk right now#drunk#four loko#lgbtq#alcohol#im so wasted its not even funny#bunny#bunny meme#i do not encourage alcolholic behavior#queer#this post was made by a transmasc
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looking back at the yjh webtoon screencaps i have saved and giggling... hes so cute... moe... my pookie ^___^ 🥰🥰 poor little meow meow woof woo- *eliminated where i stand*
also these poses are sooooo... 꺄아악🖤🫣🫣🫣🫣
#talk tag#orv liveblog#<--gonna just tag my orv misc posts as this now#i looooove when the webtoon artist draws him like a demonic beast#its genuinely so moe to me smdbsndn like hes supposed to be rly handsome but theyre not afraid to make him look unhinged#i rmbr livetweeting that yjh hibernation pic captioned 'hes so moe'... apparently that was 2022(just dug it up)#more than 1 person has told me that theyre surprised i bias yjh from the webtoon alone#bc apparently they dont do his chara justice(v 😔😔😔 to hear that...thats not good..)#BUT HOW COULD I NOT BIAS HIM!!!! (apparently this is not a universal experience aldjskdj)#this just makes me even more uncontrollably excited to read the novel i cant wait to love him more than i alr do#and i love when he glares and makes a disgusted face at kdj... its so cute 🤭 he's like an angry black dog to me. hes like a wolf puppy#*tries to pat his head and gets cut down in .00001 sec... no he wouldnt waste his sword on me... i would simply perish from being in the#the presence of his aura#literally the tsundere ever#aside from hiei... hiei rly primed me to like male tsunderes guys#like after him i have loved sm tsundere male charas since#yjh is in a league of his own tho. like idc how many similar/near identical charas have come before or since#he OWNS the yjh archetype literally everyone else is just copying him <33#even if it was a choice btwn yjh and cedric id have to go w yjh... he is the original im sorry... i love u cedric#and i love that the whole point is that his design/chara archetype ISNT supposed to be original... thats the Point#he's the typical op dark haired stoic cold brooding (and sexy) protagonist...#his chara concept is supposed to be that trope... but what orv does w him is so subversive#and the fact that he is supplanted from his position as the protag in the narrative... i love it sooo much#like maybe i wouldnt care as much if he actually was the protag? bc again it wouldnt rly be new#but the fact that he isnt the actual protag is sooo good#IM NOT RLY SAYING OR ANALYZING ANYTHING RN BUT I JUST FELT LIKE YJH LOVEPOSTING#o sidenote his webtoon faces make great rxn images slfnsmd I LOVE USING THE FIRST ONE#i love using heartwrenching anime/comic moments out of context as rxn images its so funny to me#me @ the orv live action cast announcement
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My bet on if they cave and add nettles to the show, is that they wont have her pop up behind a rock and suddenly exist and already have claimed sheepstealer, but instead theyll do something insane and stupid and have her claim the cannibal or some shit instead
#not sure if this is a good or bad idea but its so crazy the hotd writers just might use it#hotd#house of the dragon#nettles#fire and blood#sheepstealer#the cannibal#rhaena targaryen#okay guys but can we be serious for a second#do you know how actually dumb it would be if show!rhaena doesnt claim that dragon at this point#and then all of her plotline in season 2 is fully a waste of time#like from an existing story perspective i would say they CANNOT add nettles without getting even more backlash#and im not anti nettles or something i think shes fuckin awesome like everyone else#i just think hotd has officially strayed too far to go back to that#but i think they still might try to add her to please everyone but whatever theyd come up with to add her would definetly be dumb or insane#maybe both#i just hope its funny#oh and i really hope somebody ritualistically sacrifices animals to claim a dragon
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everyday i wake up and think about how much stronger and better sam larusso's character arc in season 5 would be if she realized she were a lesbian
like what do you mean that the identity crisis you're having based on societal norms and high expectations that surround you and suffocate you AREN'T based upon compulsory heterosexuality and the realization that you are actually into your mortal enemy that's actually crazy
#sam larusso#like the samtory is just me joking but im actually not#im saying this as someone who makes everything gay#if literally fucking anyone should have been gay in cobra kai it should have been samantha larusso 100%#her whole identity crisis bullshit is so comphet lesbian coded its not even funny#like can you just imagine the FLAVOR that could have been in her arc if she was a lesbian#its one of the biggest wasted opportunities i have seen in a show UNLESS they pull something in season 6 which they definitely wont#she doesnt even need to get with anyone i just need her to know she loves women and also she should be my girlfriend
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actually speaking of my name, dara, its like fun because it is just 2 very simple syllables so its in all kinds of languages all across the world as a name and as a word. and like. okay usually it means something super nice like super wise or like a gift or like a leader or awesome tree or awesome pearl or rich or fortunate or whatever, stuff like that. so lemme tell you how awesome it was when i found out in some dialects of japanese it means idiot <3
#also the reduplicated form daradara as like. wasting time <3 <3 that ones really funny because i speak kind of slowly when im thinking#such as in japanese class... i do feel like a cartoon character. like one of snow whites dwarves. im Slowly. im Idly.#its so funny i love it. its a great contrast compared to a buddy who was telling me about how in her language my name was like#literally meant wise person but had like connotations of respect and propheticism etc. such a vast two syllables this is#i dont actually know which version i was named. my parents just looked in like a baby naming book or on an early website#and just like picked one that sounded nice. i dont even think they looked at origin or meaning#im PROBABLY named like the hebrew version or maybe a unisex form of the irish version?#but i dont know if that matters when ur parents just like basically randomized ur name <3 i dont pronounce it very nicely tho#i and my family pronounce it like daaaaar (rhymes with car) Rah which is chill and i like it BUT#sometimes i meet someone who's first language is like arabic or serbian or something and they pronunce it so beautifully#with like a softer R and like dah-rah and its soooo nice. but my heavily ontarian daaaaaarrr-rah is fine too <3
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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decemberween's not TECHNICALLY here yet but by jove is it comin' soon! 4 days! wow! this stuff is based around "the best decemberween ever" because its the most recent one i watched but if i'm feeling real stoked tomorrow i might do some art about the other ones! yippee!
#ive been keeping up with the decemberweenvent calender#that has been fun and its made me feel a lot less depressed about how much time i waste#i like these funny little animal guys and im hoping they also do some sort of decemberween special proper this year#but even if they dont#what they're doin right now is absolutely great and im happy to have this series still active even after i come so late#homestar runner#hsr#h*r#coach z#marzipan#strong bad#the cheat#CHALKO DRAWING TAG
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degrassi next class if baaz nahir was allowed to be fleshed out and was given real storylines instead of just shoving him in hunters shadow and making him the asshole no one likes
#degrassi#back on my baaz propaganda#was spurred to post this bc i saw a tweet on the tl rhat was like 'incels of degrassi'#nd it had hunter rick and baaz#and even though im the sole rick and hunter enjoyer on earth irdgaf if they catch heat bc they'll always deserve it#but touch baaz and its PERSONAL#even despite my ironic love of his antics i just think he was a criminally underutilized character who cldve been great#there was a lot of potential to compare and contrast him w goldi#i mean a fucking 2015 era anti sjw and a 2015 era sjw living under the same room?!?#thats just wasted fucking potential#and even then i would like ANYTHING. these two interacted maybe twice#im prob just saying that bc i like baaz am a younger sibling to a golden child devout muslim#like there was so much to dig for here with how maybe baaz feels inadequate compared to goldi idfk#and his insecurity compared to 'privileged rich white guy' hunter#im still fucking angry that never amounted to anything other than dick jokes#the wpisode was still funny but u will pay for bringing this up and then never doing anything with it#theres also the way hes characterized in the NC3 minis that is way more charitable to him than the actual show#hes a guy that means well but is inept and ignorant guys:(#whatever idgaf i love baaz. sit him down in a gender studies class and give him an autism diagnosis and it would fix him
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no way i just got anon hate for saying that people who think sonic is actually an adult in canon when hes been stated to be a teenager a million times are dumbasses. i still stand by that statement btw
#or maybe its because i said shadow isnt mentally or physically 50. im not sure. but i still stand by that statement also#the way they waited almost a week after i made the posts im assuming that was about.#were they trying to jumpscare me while i had my guard down or something#man if youre gonna waste your time sending people anon hate over stupid things at least make it funny!!!#otherwise im not even gonna bother answering it#i said it on that post im assuming this is about and ill say it again:#its weird how some of you get SO upset when you see certain sonic characters be referred to as teenagers#upset enough to send people anon hate over it apparently
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cackling a lil but,, really not that funny but the gta wasted screen is killing me,,?
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even does know what plants are though. (as per doctor who canon, the way ships manage to keep oxygen on long voyages is via having literal forests in them. now, nothing to that extent, obviously, they weren’t that well-equipped or funded. but there’s definitely plants In There, probably relegated to a much more ordered existence, think the difference between a natural forest and one grown for logging.) at least they have that. they have seen plants. not often, but they have.
i don’t think they really understand plants beyond their functions (to eat, keep everyone breathing, etc.) whereas with natural beauties and animals and other such things that even has no experience with and can wonder over, they can’t really. do that with plants. the ability to admire a flower rather than immediately think of it in terms of resources lost and gained in its creation is a skill they have to learn.
but you know. at least they have seen them. that’s something. that’s slightly less depressing, right.
#even also would not know how to take care of plants. at most they know that plants require water. maybe.#their job was reconstituting the ship’s waste and recovering as much as they could and safely disposing of the rest#even doesn’t know to water plants. thank god the doctor doesn’t keep houseplants. they would die.#but i just think this would be an interesting contrast.#how easily even is taken in by things they’ve never seen before. and the few things they consider mundane. they have trouble looking at#with any emotion but Critically Thinking About How This Contributes To Us#the ever-present conflict of everything they learned to function as a part of a ship that was. not prepared. and responded to its lack of#preparedness by dehumanizing everyone on it and exploiting them until their death all for a future they couldn’t even be sure was there.#and the fact that they are delighted by the universe. they want to love it. they want to see it as beautiful. they want to escape.#and. what that means is that even thinks of flowers as wastes of space. long after they’ve gotten over a lot of their other ins#instincts about resource management and wasting it and such. they never really like flowers.#and that makes it kind of funny right? that it’s rose they have a crush on.#to them: rose is essential. so important to the doctor and so important - in their eyes - to the whole universe because of it.#idk where im going with this but its certainly a thing now#dw oc
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oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with
#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my#id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that#and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!!#like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box????#she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because#its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25#for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now#so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box?????#and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making#up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance#and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility#which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays#course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country#and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids#so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this#like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do#so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too#(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job)#but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to#give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO#ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking#my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre#beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig#and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed#except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird#why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember#and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation#like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even#occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them#shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name
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i am just...so profoundly tired of being me
#char.txt#there is something that is so revolting about me I am incapable of shaking the shame of it#Theres nothing i can do to make myself happy its just not possible i think i have to accept that#but im tired of pretending for other people its so stupid#everything feels fake even when im being honest i dont know who this person is anymore#its just stupid idk im thinking about too many things#my life feels like it exists for other peoples entertainment and if im not interesting im failing and im wasting peoples time and energy#but i can't be alone anymore I legitimately cannot be alone anymore ive tried so hard it only makes things worse#I need to feel wanted and maybe its something im missing thats keeping me from feeling that way#but I feel so deeply that when i stop being funny or when the person ppl actually want to talk to comes around ill stop being relevant#i dont exist to people when im not infront of them and...idk i have to be okay with that because im never anything more#and like this genuinely isnt a dig because there are people who I am friends with who have access to see this and I don't want you to feel#like its something youve done cause its not your fault its kind of not even about any of you or the ppl wholl never see this#Its something im missing its something about me and i dont deserve cruelty ik that#but i can't make anyone want me more than they do and thats alright#i just know that ill always be second fiddle at best and it just exausts me sometime#its be easier if I liked me but I wouldnt wish my presence upon anyone#but im selfish and i need the attention or ill actually self destruct so here we are this is my boulder
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idk i think it's so funny I went down a survival horror game rabbit hole when a) I'm too freaking anxious for horror games I will make myself cry, b) it was all PS2 stuff which is extra funny bc I've never even played on someone else's playstation let alone had one, i was always a wii kid lol. but now my brain is like ah yes. time to consume everything I can about games I can't even play and that are stupid expensive/hard to get now
#also i love that people draw jennifer from rule of rose and fiona from haunting ground together#they're just two girls with their dogs and in horrible situations and you know im glad they get to have dogs#any game where i get to have a pet is alright by me even if shit is otherwise majorly fucked#anyway. i do need to play pathologic. it's funny bc in theory it is really the kind of thing I'd like bc there's so much stuff to uncover#plus i think classic HD (which is the version i have) fixes the bad translation so it's not even like it's too hard to understand#at least only hard to understand in the intended pathologic-y way anyway#and i really really like the soundtrack#and everything I've watched and read about it is sick as hell (no pun intended) so i think the thing making me unable to get into it is the#actual experience of playing it. like it's funny how much of an asshole dankovsky is but that doesn't mean I *want* to play as an asshole#its funny the only time i really like playing that way is in skyrim bc im just. greenish elf that picks everyone's locks bc it was the first#thing i figured out and characters will just ???? let me fucking do it??? (i say having gotten arrested in whiterun like immediately)#i guess because I'm not invested in any of the characters yet because i havent had time to sit down and really play it#i guess that'd kind of be the way i play in lotro but that's more just me not interacting with other players#fun fact i think i still have one of the earliest fellowship quests sitting unfinished bc i can never form groups to finish them#i don't think I'll even ever get good at lotro though honestly#more just knowing what buttons to spam#idk i played hunter FOREVER but minstrel is really really growing on me#even though some of the skills are kinda wasted since i only ever play alone#anyway what was i talking about
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talked to my dad on the phone and he's convincing me to get a master's degree so i can get cheaper insurance
#and also lifetime earnings but it was just a funny conversation#because sincerely i DO want to get a masters. i just want to waste a bunch of time being very passionate about something no one else#is frankly that interested in#but i need to do some research this summer because like. i dont think i have the math chops to do a CS masters by any stretch#even foregoing the fact that I dont even have a BA to qualify me easily#which means that practically unless im able to finesse some tech-y masters with a greater focus on what im good at (design/engineering???)#my best bet is an english masters#which is. a funny one to get when working as a programmer#but also!!! i would love to#god i have so many things i want to talk and write about. would like to write thousands and thousands and thousands#of words about the things i love#but in terms of its relevance to my career it is. none#so! you know#realistically if i went the tech-y route i would postpone that until ive finished my certificate before comitting#so unless i go english this is something at least another year or two off#which i think is also a good call because my career needs more settling#anyway this is all because my dad wants me to get good rates on disability insurance
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my family asks me where I see myself in 5 years and i just have no idea.
#Cade.Vnt#like. idk. the future doesn't feel real or foreseeable. like its so far away but also rocketing towards me#at a alarming pace and i'm just kinda here too tired to react or try and do anything#like man. i'mrly 24-soon to be 25- and dear god i've really done absolutely fucking nothing with my life#and its really funny how even for a moment i thought i could go anywhere w my photography#like that isn't going to go anywhere- im not going to do anything with it. it doesn't matter.#i rly do just exist and take up space and waste peoples time. my nephew is getting older#and i've done Nothing w my Life- i'm a perfect example of what u dont wanna turn out like#i just feel empty anymore and tired.
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