chalkodareal

[chalkodareal]

idc who sees this the thigh rubbing thing is hottttttt. likely just an idle motion but idc he looks UNBEARABLY cute im sorryyyyyyy...ugghhhhh

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(x)

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i am indifferent to sollysymbol.

everytime bleuf00t likes one of my posts i shiver in terror. thats the johnsona guy i cant be fuckung this up

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everytime bleuf00t likes one of my posts i shiver in terror. thats the johnsona guy i cant be fuckung this up

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can u draw john linnell naked and oiled up

anon i just want you to live this out i guess. why would you ask me this.

[chalkodareal]

please lore dump ab ur tmbg au. i care.

LOLLLL funny to me u say... i got two other ppl asking for this exact thing soooo. well. um. non-losers look away now ig... my See The Constellation Au...

okay um. basic gist is that flansburgh is an astronomy student at some college in '92... doesnt really matter which. um. and late one night he ends up making brief contact with a constellation guy that, while he first connected him from sheer tired joking, he starts to like actually see (and hear the next night which is honestly freakier). the constellation is linnell obv though this is technically a little complicated

um. so he forms an insane connection with this constellation p much. initially theyre more curiousities to eachokther than actual FRIENDS but it very quickly becomes a friendship just. well honestly probably just bc flansburgh is bad at being professional....? its okay bro idbe freaking too

okay on the topic of flans seeing and hearing him its time to explain this umm. i dont wanna pull something lame and say "oh hes just imagining the constellation LOL" bc thats not whats happening but the constellation is vry much shaped by his psyche. ultimately the constellation is sort of just a sentient chunk of the stars but flansburghs mind has sort of given him an actual form??? if this makes sense??? to everyone ekse hes invisible p much but he and flans share an astral link of some sort. freakssss.... um. but p much hes very much real he just pulls from flansburghs concious to give more understandable form to himself.

flansburgh mental and social state very much ends up deteriorating over the course of the au sorta... its not that hes like. acting crazy he just stops waking up at normal times and talking to actual people less and less. he kind of yearns to be able to have real communication with the constellation outside of the sky and that. weighs on him. i wont bury the lead ill just say see the constellation is probably a song avout killing yourself.

again on their relationship it very quickly turns into something casual as opposed to any sort of REAL research. flansburgh had a lot of questions about what gives the constellation life and how he moves early on but apon being given the chance to bitch about going to colkege uhhh yeah. hes doing that. the constellation isnt completely clueless on human culture actually hes seen a lot of it but probably just doesnt understand certain finer aspects.

okay other thing to say. linnell is also just a real fucking guy in this au and i havent mentioned it until now bc it can get confusing. PRETTY MUCH. he abd flans were really good friends in highschool but insteah of ever going off and starting a band together they just drifted apart. the constellation looks and sounds a lot like linnell (to the most recent of his memory, likely a few mundanes tapes he was able to snag) but ultimately is not actually linked to him. even flansburgh doesnt really realize the similarity until he ends up finally seeing linnell again for a while on the train. he got a job working for one, and because its an overnight ride on obe of those old fashioned ones just because i think they look cool, they end up chatting a bit. feel the need to say flansburgh is a lot less shaken by this than he really should be... like even the constellation is asking about that guy that bears a strangely apt resemblance to him.

um. short of the au is this timeine ig

1. flansburgh resents his astronomy studies

2. flansburgh meets constellation for first time

3. flans develops constellation friendship

4. flansburgh begins ditching certain more um. applicable stidies just to reasearch and understand this guy

5. as they continue to grow closer and more isolated flansburgh takes a long train ride back home, meeting linnell briefly and promicing to really get back to him this time (the mail address sits unused atop a stack of frantic sketches and half finished papers)

6. this guy starts like actually seriously yearning for the constellation to be a real human guy

7. through an offhanded comment of the constellations, flansburgh is lead to believe after around 11 months of contact with the constellation that there is infact a way to be with him in the sky which no is NOT a good deal but hes a little desperate and honestly living off college student money

8. i lay my head on the railroad tracks

it sounds like tragic yaoi this way but i assure you not only is it not YAOI.its not that tragic okayyyyy

other tidbits i cant fit other places hrm.... flansburgh was like incredibly social before all this. like he wasnt already a little introverted he straight up threw college parties. the constellation has communication with other parts of the sky and is not well liked for only having one fucking guy that gaf about him... um. to the stars constellations are honestly a huge thing because the expression of human expirience and guidance onto them is like a massive gesture of love and its part of why the constellation likes flans so much. becahse of this he ceases to exist in a major way after flansburgh is gone. and last but not least. robin MIGHT b here. im still thinking about it...

( @spyjam24 since u asked too... )

[chalkodareal]

John Flansburgh Declared Dead By Idiot

[Taken from http://web.archive.org/web/20010302124314/http://sol-d.tmbg.net:80/, all misspellings and malapropisms left intact.]

On Tuesday, members of Alt.Music.Tmbg all recieved messages about the untimely death of their favourite rockstar–Mr. John Flansburgh. Some were shocked, many were skeptical, and no less than three regulars took the initiative to end their lives.

“It was a real bummer,” claimed one reader who managed to de-lurk for this interview. “I mean, John’s, like, invincible and stuff. He can’t die! We won’t let him!”

Apparently, the message of Flansburgh’s untimely demise was first posted by 12 year old Timothy Zarble. When asked how he found this information out, he replied:

“Well, I was walking along the beach when I saw him. He was just laying there, with his mouth hanging open. At first I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me, but they weren’t! It was really Flansy. I ran over and asked him for his autograph, but he just laid there, unmoving. That’s when I got a real good look at him. He was all bloated, and there was a fly on his face. It was really gross.”

When Timothy got home he quickly posted his message to the newsgroup, where it spread aroung the internet like wildfire. Al Gore, closet TMBG fan, claimed that “…this just goes to prove how wonderful a tool the internet is. When such impotant information can reach those who need it in such a short amount of time..I..I…” At that point, Gore began to cry for dear, long-lost Mr. Flansburgh.

Flansburghologists claimed at a recent press conference that John was not dead but, in fact, pining for the fjords. This statement may have been due to the fact that they had all just gotten back from a Monty Python Convention, and thus should not be trusted. They also went on to claim that if anyone needed a good Linnellographer, their resumes were on the bulletin board by the door.

When John Flansburgh found out the news of his death, he was shocked. “I’ve never been dead before. It’s a real trip,” he said, while washing dishes. “But I guess that no one lasts forever. I mean, one minute you’re asleep on the beach, and the next your fertilizer. it happens to evryone. It will be nice to get some rest for a change.” Then he proceeded to smash every plate in his cubboard and sing a lively rendition of “He’ll Be Cummin’ Round the Mountain,” which he learned in a bar the night before. He also added that he’s not bloated–just big-boned.

[chalkodareal]

how on gods forsaken earth does Flans only have 5 songs on the top 50 TMBG songs of all time on the wiki

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It Is As If You Were Making Love is a bizarre little game in which you move your computer’s slider to bring it to climax (after all those visits to PronHub it’s probably the least you can do for your computer!)

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Browser)

[chalkodareal]

@tommyarchivefan

Happy Update Day Wednesday

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one of my fav pieces of tmbg trivia is the way the johns started talking, because it sounds like the kind of surreal thing they made up for fun in the early years, except this is true

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hiiii im john linnell i saw what you said. banned from tmbg concert now btw. slayyyy

[chalkodareal]

please lore dump ab ur tmbg au. i care.

LOLLLL funny to me u say... i got two other ppl asking for this exact thing soooo. well. um. non-losers look away now ig... my See The Constellation Au...

okay um. basic gist is that flansburgh is an astronomy student at some college in '92... doesnt really matter which. um. and late one night he ends up making brief contact with a constellation guy that, while he first connected him from sheer tired joking, he starts to like actually see (and hear the next night which is honestly freakier). the constellation is linnell obv though this is technically a little complicated

um. so he forms an insane connection with this constellation p much. initially theyre more curiousities to eachokther than actual FRIENDS but it very quickly becomes a friendship just. well honestly probably just bc flansburgh is bad at being professional....? its okay bro idbe freaking too

okay on the topic of flans seeing and hearing him its time to explain this umm. i dont wanna pull something lame and say "oh hes just imagining the constellation LOL" bc thats not whats happening but the constellation is vry much shaped by his psyche. ultimately the constellation is sort of just a sentient chunk of the stars but flansburghs mind has sort of given him an actual form??? if this makes sense??? to everyone ekse hes invisible p much but he and flans share an astral link of some sort. freakssss.... um. but p much hes very much real he just pulls from flansburghs concious to give more understandable form to himself.

flansburgh mental and social state very much ends up deteriorating over the course of the au sorta... its not that hes like. acting crazy he just stops waking up at normal times and talking to actual people less and less. he kind of yearns to be able to have real communication with the constellation outside of the sky and that. weighs on him. i wont bury the lead ill just say see the constellation is probably a song avout killing yourself.

again on their relationship it very quickly turns into something casual as opposed to any sort of REAL research. flansburgh had a lot of questions about what gives the constellation life and how he moves early on but apon being given the chance to bitch about going to colkege uhhh yeah. hes doing that. the constellation isnt completely clueless on human culture actually hes seen a lot of it but probably just doesnt understand certain finer aspects.

okay other thing to say. linnell is also just a real fucking guy in this au and i havent mentioned it until now bc it can get confusing. PRETTY MUCH. he abd flans were really good friends in highschool but insteah of ever going off and starting a band together they just drifted apart. the constellation looks and sounds a lot like linnell (to the most recent of his memory, likely a few mundanes tapes he was able to snag) but ultimately is not actually linked to him. even flansburgh doesnt really realize the similarity until he ends up finally seeing linnell again for a while on the train. he got a job working for one, and because its an overnight ride on obe of those old fashioned ones just because i think they look cool, they end up chatting a bit. feel the need to say flansburgh is a lot less shaken by this than he really should be... like even the constellation is asking about that guy that bears a strangely apt resemblance to him.

um. short of the au is this timeine ig

1. flansburgh resents his astronomy studies

2. flansburgh meets constellation for first time

3. flans develops constellation friendship

4. flansburgh begins ditching certain more um. applicable stidies just to reasearch and understand this guy

5. as they continue to grow closer and more isolated flansburgh takes a long train ride back home, meeting linnell briefly and promicing to really get back to him this time (the mail address sits unused atop a stack of frantic sketches and half finished papers)

6. this guy starts like actually seriously yearning for the constellation to be a real human guy

7. through an offhanded comment of the constellations, flansburgh is lead to believe after around 11 months of contact with the constellation that there is infact a way to be with him in the sky which no is NOT a good deal but hes a little desperate and honestly living off college student money

8. i lay my head on the railroad tracks

it sounds like tragic yaoi this way but i assure you not only is it not YAOI.its not that tragic okayyyyy

other tidbits i cant fit other places hrm.... flansburgh was like incredibly social before all this. like he wasnt already a little introverted he straight up threw college parties. the constellation has communication with other parts of the sky and is not well liked for only having one fucking guy that gaf about him... um. to the stars constellations are honestly a huge thing because the expression of human expirience and guidance onto them is like a massive gesture of love and its part of why the constellation likes flans so much. becahse of this he ceases to exist in a major way after flansburgh is gone. and last but not least. robin MIGHT b here. im still thinking about it...

( @spyjam24 since u asked too... )

[chalkodareal]

psa

[chalkodareal]

the johns' intros from their tmbptmbg interviews

[chalkodareal]

plump wiener

[chalkodareal]

i need to loredump about my fucking tmbg au no one cares abt