#im so sorry this became an essay

[stopthatfool]

Where would you recommend starting, if someone wanted to start listening to Charli xcx?

OOOOOHHHH this is a good question.. (this is going to be so long i'm so sorry) (also i tend to recommend albums as a whole, rather than specific songs because that's how I typically listen to music in general) lemme look back on my own listening journey with charli xcx...

I was always aware of charli's music when I was in elementary and middle school. like Boom Clap and Break the Rules. And the songs she featured on like I Love It by Icona Pop and Fancy by Iggy Azealia. And then I was really obsessed with the song Vroom Vroom like 2 years after it came out (and the music video). So if you want to refamiliarize yourself or familiarize yourself with some of her hits then those are some classics. (i unfortunately only listened to her first album True Romance recently, so younger me had no idea about that.. fake tumblr user/tumblr girl stopthatfool...)

the first album of hers that I listened to all the way through was how i'm feeling now that she released during the COVID lockdowns. It was the one that had me listening to her more frequently other than just her hits that i was familiar with/listened to sporadically. I think that album is some of her best work and honestly one of the best albums I listened to/that was released in 2020. That album is so specific to the COVID lockdowns and to the time in which it was made, but listening to it now it doesn't feel out of touch, outdated or "old" because of it being directly made during COVID. Whenever someone makes artwork directly referencing and stating current events, there's a fine line of it becoming immediately outdated the second after it's released because the moment is already over (for example whenever a movie tries to reference a meme (ex. marvel with endgame and the fortnite scene), or when TV shows had a COVID season (ex. brooklyn nine nine's COVID season fell a little flat)) but with Charli xcx's COVID based album, I think it successfully navigated those issues that other artforms and media failed to do. how i'm feeling now is just a really strong album to me. It feels like an album, not just like a collection of singles with filler in between. Creatively, how i'm feeling now feels like a story and documentation of how charli feels and it's undeniably raw and artistically navigating cliches and without overly relying on COVID in general.

I would also recommend giving her album CRASH (released 2 years give or take after how i'm feeling now) a listen too. It's an integral album that informed her transition to her newest album BRAT which has been critically acclaimed as one of her best albums if not her best album so far. With CRASH and how i'm feeling now, BRAT feels like this perfect mix of balancing the honesty how i'm feeling now highlighted and CRASH's pop based hits. If both CRASH and how i'm feeling now are examples of charli feeling "restless" (as she herself describes) then BRAT is her finding the perfect middle and her finding her voice as an artist.

[buckbuckleybegins]

https://www.tumblr.com/buckbuckleybegins/766586135923376128?source=share

Yeeees to all your tags

I’m so sorry for ranting in the tags, but I’m glad you agree 😭

And like I feel particularly invested in this bc im a gay man who watches, plays, read, etc etc media specifically for queer mlm rep if it’s in it and I’m actually a bit disappointed in my fellow queer men and the way they latched onto the most barebone and badly written of romances just bc its two hot (debatable for one of them but 🫥) dudes. When they have literally no chemistry and are shown being super incompatible.

And eddie, buddie or whatever don’t even have to be part of this equation bc even if eddie simply didn’t exist, BT would still be awful!

[athina-blaine]

encountering other jjk yaoi fans and sussing out how much they genuinely like the series before i can start bitching about it

[autisticlee]

so many christian conservatives that hate/criticize science and don't believe in it because "it's not always right/it always changes/they don't know for sure/there's no solid proof/etc" sure do love to believe in their magical sky daddy they never saw with their own eyes but swear is real, just because mommy and daddy and the old bald man at church had told them this since they were babies.

just like much of the scientific theories they're talking about, this god also has no actual solid proof. no one knows for absolute sure that this magical being exists, or anything in the bible actually happened. this god, his son, and every other religious figure could be nothing more than a character in an ancient fictional fantasy novel the ancient people wrote for fun because they had nothing better to do. some say there's proof the "person" existed. but there's no proof they performed magic or had magical things happen to them. maybe the readers got so engrossed and obsessed that it took on this religious culture that persisted for centuries. (imagine if the twilight series took on this form and a religion about worshiping vampires emerged and people a few centuries from now though bella and edward are their original, very real existing, saviors and everyone worships them hoping to become a vampire. I remember seeing articles that thar series started getting religious cults around it. don't know if it was true of just male journalists hating that teenage girls enjoyed something —let's be honest, it was probably that.)

but if you say those things to conservatives, that there's no proof, that it could be nothing more than an ancient fantasy novel, they get so upset and defensive. they won't admit it. they come up with excuses. they turn around and point fingers instead. at least the science they hate for "having no proof" or being proven wrong always admits when it's wrong and is always trying to disprove *itself* in order to find the truth. it's based on theory and everyone should have learned about that in school, so i won't explain it. science, in general, is the study of trying to prove and disprove theories and gain evidence needed to reach a truth. it's ongoing. even these truths are usually accepted as things that can still expand and get rewritten as we learn more.

yet most christian conservatives are often over there saying those bad things about science, which actually realistically applies better to their sky daddy and his son's story. even the meanings of their bible change depending on the language/translation and who's interpreting it, with no solid proof one way or another. their religion is very stagnant. they have forbidden questioning it. they know it won't hold if you do.

they can't believe in science because there is never any concrete evidence, and scientists never know for sure....... yet at the same time, though they won't admit it, they truly don't even know if their magical god exists up in the clouds for sure. all they do is "believe" but "belief" is not proof, no matter how much they try telling you it is. but,,,,it only is if it's directed at their god. if it's belief in anything science? "no, you're brainwashed! it's all fake!"

they preach to you from a kid that you need to blindly believe and if you question it or don't believe hard enough, you get sent to hell to suffer. you're not allowed to think or choose for yourself! but they try really hard to make it look and feel like you're "choosing" it. it sounds very brainwashy to me. it FELT very brainwashy as a kid experiencing this, being foeced to go to church 2-3 times a week and a catholic school for 11 years. it's truly the opposite of what most conservatives preach and rant about. they're all about ~individualism and not being a sheep and free speech and freedom of choice~ and whatever else they yell about that is generally the opposite of how they actually live, lead, and raise their young.

science doesn't do that to you. science is more forgiving. if you dont believe, go prove it wrong! yet they claim scientists are trying to "brainwash" everyone; if you listen to and believe science, you are being "brainwashed." but *they* aren't. no. they're definitely not brainwashed by their big benevolent sky daddy and his magical story book, who threatens to strike them down into the pits of hell to suffer if they get even the smallest inkling of questioning or doubt in their tiny brains.

hypocrites they are!

[cerneterydrive]

//

[propertyofwicked]

heyyy!!!

could i request lando x reader angst with some fluff? where the reader is stressed with exams (exam season just started for me😰) and lando just helps her get through it and comforts her during the sleepless nights.

i absolutely love your work, especially the secrets series!🧡

exam szn is invading my personal space rn too i cannot think about it without wanting to cry hehe. hope this meets ur expectations and sorry it took so long to respond <3

warnings: none, just fluff :)

masterlist

TAKE A BREAK - LN

y/n was always going to be the most beautiful woman that lando had ever seen, even now, as she sat slumped over her laptop, pen tucked into her bun and dark circles under her eyes, highlighted by the dull orange of her desk lamp in an otherwise dark room.

this was not a new situation for lando to find his girlfriend in - he’d seen her at her worst when she had been revising for her final exams years ago, whilst he was busy with his driving career. but this past week, he’d barely spent time with her, besides seeing her setting up her desk before he left in the morning, and eating a rushed dinner before she went straight back to studying. y/n was bound to crash soon, her body and mind overworked and over tired, but her resistance was strong. lando missed his girlfriend. yes, she was physically in the same apartment as him, but mentally she was so far away, completely unreachable to the outside world.

“hey,” he announced, leaning against the door frame. she mumbled a quick hello in response, not even looking away from the glowing screen in front of her.

“y/n?” he tried to get her attention again, still with a mumbled response. he pushed his body from where he was leaning, walking slowly over to rest on the back of her desk chair, his head lowering to press a kiss to the top of her head, “come to bed, angel.”

“i will in a minute,” she said, finally breaking her stare at her computer, leaning back to look at him. he finally got a good look at her face. she was still beautiful, but she was tired. she was pale, her eyes red from the strain and constant fight against exhaustion.

“no baby, you said that last night and crawled into bed 3 hours later.”

“i said i was sorry for waking you up,” she said sadly, her shoulders tensing, the shift to her posture causing her muscles to move for the first time in hours.

“i don’t care about you waking me up, i care about you clearly struggling. you need to take a break, angel,” he said, his tone harsh even when he tried to be as nice as possible.

“im fine, lan, i promise. ill come to bed in 10 minutes.”

“y/n,” he warned, no longer caring about his tone, “when was the last time you showered?” he added, out of genuine concern, however she did not take it in that way.

“what? why? do i smell?” she asked, raising her arm to sniff herself, lando physically restrained himself from laughing. she didn’t smell, but her hair was slightly greasy, purely from the amount of times she ran her hands through her hair out of frustration, or kept her head propped up, using her arm as support.

“y/n,” he says, using her full name, “you are going to shut your computer down, have a shower, and then go to bed. you can keep studying tomorrow but tonight, i want to spend time with my girlfriend before i have to leave the country again.”

she was reluctant to oblige, but she knew she’d been neglecting him in favour of studying. she did this every time she had an important essay due, or upcoming exams - her brain became laser focused to the extent of forgetting to look after herself and those around her, the deadline approaching only adding to the pressure. she closed her laptop, and stood, stretching her legs out in the process, not realising they had gone numb from sitting down for hours.

lando took to standing behind her, hands on her waist as he guided her into their bathroom. as he switched on the light, her eyes squeezed shut and a groan fell from her lips at the shock of the brightness.

“has that light always been so fucking bright?” she groaned, as lando laughed quietly, moving around her to set the shower up.

“that’s what happens when you sit in a dark hole for hours angel. when was the last time you left that room,” he asked, his hand under the water testing the temperature.

“erm, when we had dinner?”

“babe that was 6 hours ago,” he replied with a sigh, checking the time on his watch, “the showers warm enough now. get in. i’ll be in the other room.”

“you’re not showering with me?” she asked sadly. his eyes perked up at the thought of spending intimate time with her.

5 minutes later, they were both stood under the water, his hands massaging shampoo on her scalp. the warm water has loosened her muscles, and the feeling of lando’s hands on her bringing her back to a full sense of reality. she turned to face him, looking in his eyes as the water cleared the shampoo from her hair.

“im sorry,” she told him.

“you don’t need to be, angel. i just wish you’d take better care of yourself. i hate seeing you like this.”

“i know i just..” she said, before taking a deep breath, “i just need to pass this exam and then i’ll be back to normal, i promise.”

“y/n, you are the most intelligent person i know. there is no way you need to destroy yourself for the sake of an exam,” he replied, his hands moving to cup her jaw. she hoped the shower would mask the tears welling in her eyes. she couldn’t tell if the tears were from the kind hearted words or from the sheer stress she’d been bottling up. either way, lando could read her like a book.

he lowered his head, pulling her face closer to his, before pressing a kiss to her forehead and each cheek, and then moving to press a short but sweet his to her lips.

“i just don’t want to mess this up,” she said through tears, “ive worked so hard to get to where i am right now, i can’t afford a set back. i can’t mess this up, and i can’t think about correlation coefficients any longer without wanting to rip my hair out.”

“and you won’t mess it up,” he replies, choosing to ignore the words he doesn’t understand, marvelling at her ignorance to her own intelligence, “taking a break every now and again, looking after yourself, is not going to set you back or destroy your progress. you can’t keep going like this - the stress and the way you overwork yourself is going to set you back further than taking the evening off will, angel.”

“i just need to pas-”

“no, you need to take a step back. give yourself a break.”

“i know, i jus-”

“stop arguing with me or i’ll throw that damn laptop out of the window,” he said, interrupting her and crossing his arms over his chest.

“please don’t, i can’t afford a new one,” she joked, and lando smiled at hearing her laughing for the first time in weeks.

“i’ll buy you a new one,” he replied, pressing another kiss to her lips, “right, turn around i need to do the conditioner now.”

lando didn’t let y/n move another finger all night. he had wrapped her in a towel and sat her down on the toilet lid whilst he brought her in a cup of tea. he helped her climb into her pyjamas, and then sat her down between his legs as he dried her hair. they had crawled into bed afterwards, his arms reaching out to pull her to lay on his chest.

“thank you,” she mumbled against his neck, her eyes already closed out of exhaustion.

“don’t thank me,” he replied, tilting his head to kiss her forehead, “just promise me you’ll start taking care of yourself.”

“i promise,” she said, raising her pinky finger to interlock with his.

“tomorrow, you start taking an hour break for every two hours of work you do. and please, go outside, get some fresh air,” he said, pleading with her.

“half an hour,” she debated with him.

“an hour. end of,” he said, his decision final, “or, that laptop really is going.”

“you would never,” she replied, jokingly gasping at him.

“you wanna bet?”

[vivwritesfics]

Soooooo Carlando idea just reader feeling a little left out, because they’re always together during race weekends and she has to stay behind for college. So they try to make her feel better and spoil her a lot

It’s busy an idea I wanted to share, you don’t have to write anything if you don’t feel like it. Also I really love your writing and the way you write Max and Lando is amazing

im so sorry this is so late, it's been hectic (aka i kept starting series and falling in love with them)

She wanted to go to their races, she really did. But it was her final year of university and there just wasn't time.

The boys wanted her there, they really did. At the start of their relationship she came to almost every race, but that changed when her university became more and more demanding. Where she used to be able to write essays between rounds of qualifying, it was no longer possible.

She still kept up with the racing, watching from her bedroom while she got on with her essays. She saw them having fun between the races, playing football in the paddock together, and she couldn't help but feel left out.

She missed them tremendously. The periodic phone calls weren't enough for her anymore. But she'd never say anything to them. They were out there living their dreams and she was doing the same. If that meant sacrificing time together, so be it. It would all be worth it in the end.

Although she didn't say anything to Lando or Carlos, they started sending her gifts throughout the race weekend. They got her presents from wherever in the world they were that weekend and tried to spend as much time as they could with her before they went back to racing.

Still she missed them. She missed having fun with them and seeing them together just made things worse.

After this particular race when they got home, Carlos was the first through the door of their apartment in Monaco. He dropped his bags as Lando walked in and walked over to their girlfriend, kissing her cheek.

"Hey baby," Lando called, walking towards her with a small bag.

"Hey boys," she replied as she moved the laptop off of her lap and stood up. She wrapped her arms around each of them, giving them kisses.

Lando held up the small bag. Inside of the bag were several brown paper bags, all full of souvenirs. Fridge magnets, a shot glass, a novelty bottle opener (that wouldn't open anything), Lando and Carlos knew the sorts of things she liked. Not flashy, that was key.

"We missed you," Carlos said, wrapping his arms around her.

They knew she missed them, and they missed her too. All the time they were home, they made sure she knew that she was loved.

[emathevampire]

An old D&D character of mine, aesthetically Xaela works for him quite well (he isn’t supposed to have a tail, and is supposed to have wings and heavier scales. also ears. the heck, au ra) but not lore wise at all (and the lore also had to be tailored a bit to fit the new setting). He’s the son of a dragon father and a human mother from an age long past (and probably another world just to further account for lore discrepancies), a prince who ruled a small country with his twin brother. Known for his death-defying rage and lust for battle, his enemies struggled to find a way to deal with the threat he posed, and it took an especially powerful black mage tearing open a massive rift to the void on the battlefield to finally defeat him... even if all this really did was push their problem somewhere else. Though he tried to find a way back over the next unknowable number of years, the void twisted and corrupted him until he forgot all sense of purpose and self and believed himself to be a demon… but fortunately, one day Hydaelyn managed to drag him out of there, the echo helped him recover his memories, and here we are now: Askalaphos Areios, Warrior of Light.

So, a half-dragon human twisted by the void… not exactly something that character creation will just let me have, but I made do. Dragoon/Dark Knight worked perfectly for him, though.

My mood is down, so:

FFXIV tumblr, show me/ tell me about your characters who do not fit neatly into the in-game playable races! Any character whose race is not simply "an Elezen" or "a Hyur", etc.

[knightpetrichor]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 114.5 AHEAD

akutagawa and atsushi are going to be the ones that kill fyodor/the tripolar singularity.

long yap session ahead because Apparently writing theory posts is something i do now

so! tripolar singularities are a thing now. (which, What the Fuck, Asagiri). there are two ways that singularities can form in bsd: 1, when two abilities cancel each other out, and 2, when an ability user uses their ability on themself, multiplying the ability until it forms a singularity.¹ im assuming that the tripolar singularity functions similarly to the latter, like Verlaine and Chuuya, who are both man-made singularities. that would make it extremely powerful™️. in Stormbringer, Verlaine was only defeated because Chuuya used Arahabaki. so we’re able to assume that defeating a tripolar singularity would be even more dangerous. but why would Atsushi and Akutagawa be the ones to defeat it? and how? (<- rhetorical question) well!! glad you asked. they would become a singularity :D

in this essay i will---

The End of BSD Season 5

(^ sorry for quality, just took these off of pinterest)

now we know that the floating fukuchi is the tripolar singularity. (at least that explains the three circles on his mask). and we know that atsushi and akutagawa are going to be fighting him. it wouldn't make sense to animate this scene if it wasn't important in some way. (also, sidenote, but i love how akutagawa is able to use his ability without dazai's coat. he's finally growing outside of dazai's influence 🥲). Yes, this doesn't really prove a lot. but atsushi and akutagawa are like glowing and flying which. im pretty sure they havent done before. so there could be something there? also, "just the two of us?" "do we need anything else?" 😭 AND parallels to the earlier sskk vs fukuchi fight, maybe :D

which, mentioning parallels....

Stormbringer: SKK vs Guivre and its Possible Parallels to SSKK vs the Tripolar Singularity/Fyodor

Disclaimer, i havent read stormbringer in a while so if theres any mistakes in my recollection... sorry.

In Stormbringer, if i remember correctly, Chuuya activates Corruption for the first time to take down Guivre, Verlaine's Singularity, and Dazai nullified the corruption afterward. In Stormbringer, Dazai and Chuuya were still in the earlier stages of their partnership, but Chuuya still trusted Dazai to nullify corruption.

Eventually, the trust between them grew and they became known as Soukoku, or Double Black. Dazai fosters the partnership between Atsushi and Akutagawa in an attempt to turn them into Shin Soukoku, the second Double Black. Because of this, there are many parallels between skk and sskk. Both start off disliking each other, but grow over the course of many fights as partners. Soukoku's fight against Verlaine was a turning point in their relationship that allowed that trust to grow, and trust in each other was necessary to defeat the singularity.

Atsushi and Akutagawa are still in the beginning stages of their partnership with each other, but we can see how their relationship evolves throughout BSD. battling the tripolar singularity together by becoming a singularity themselves, learning to understand and trust one another, would be a large milestone in their relationship as Shin Soukoku.

Dazai's comment in BSD Beast

yet another disclaimer because i am Broke™️ and do not have enough money for these light novels: i have only read up to BSD beast vol. 3, and have not read the light novel yet. i found this quote online. i apologize if i end up misinterpreting it. but this quote definitely implies that Atsushi and Akutagawa forming a singularity is possible. and in order to do that, they have to understand each other.

"...I needed to have you fight. I needed you two to face death to get you to understand each other."

Atsushi and Akutagawa have fought with each other, against each other, many times throughout BSD. Against each other, against Fitzgerald, in the Rats of the House of the Dead base, against that mf from 55 minutes, against fukuchi... and these fights have helped them understand each other, making them work better together. i saw a post a while ago about how skk is a relationship founded on trust but lack of understanding, fyolai is based on understanding but lack of trust, and sskk is becoming a relationship with both full trust and understanding and like. yeah!! they are learning to trust each other and understand each other!! akutagawa and atsushi are both privy to information about the other that even their respective sides don't know, atsushi's hallucinations and akutagawa's lung illness being the two largest ones.

If understanding is the basis of what allows two people to form a singularity, Atsushi and Akutagawa are almost there. It makes sense for their character development and development as a duo to progress there.

anyways !! this was pretty much just me yapping, idk how to write these theory posts or whatever, or if any of this makes sense (i rlly need to reread some of these light novels). but yeah. sskk vs fukuchi final fight ‼️

¹https://bungostraydogs.fandom.com/wiki/Ability#Singularity

[foursaints]

helllo! u sometimes talk about ur mutuals circle and i was just wondering would u like to namedrop them? cos i think i already follow some of them but i feel like they probably all have very correct opinions and good taste and would like to follow them

oh i would love nothing more than to namedrop. in fact i will make you an index of what i admire about them (readmore for length)

@fernhelm <- leading scholar on the black sisters, arthuriana, and the overlap between marauders & ancient greek classicism. we are neighbors and childhood friends irl but that's unrelated

@jewishregulus <- THE regulus black understander & originator of the carrow twins. half of everything i say is paraphrased from the essay length saintsivy dms

@carniferous <- THE james potter understander & creator of nuanced tenderness and melancholy & one of my favorite fic authors before we became friends.... read their theatre-based fic NOWW

@sixlane <- i passed the Premiere Bartylily Understander hat to lane long ago.... we all definitely already know lane of "get him back (read on ao3)" fame but it bears repeating. one of the few fic authors who i stalk for updates. but i also stalk for anon responses because they are always uniquely thought-out and hilarious

@itsjaywalkers <- LAURIEE is one of the best people on here & i scroll their blog like the morning news. the vibe on there is always so fresh and fun and kind and playful (and occasionally searingly tragic or erotic). THE james potter enjoyer on this website. this is the other fic author who i stalk for updates.....

@quillkiller <- jen was my first mutual on here 🥺 (hi jen). our most beautiful resource for Bellatrix Black enjoyment and nuanced discussion of feminist theory. i consider them half of the powerduo of Rarepair Creation on this site (hi kara) that has given us bangers like effiebarty and regtunia and the most searing wlw fic

@static-radio-ao3 <- im embarrassed to talk to mil because their jegulus fic is just genuinely that good. its crazy how every single one reads like a fully fleshed-out romcom novel i would read in one sitting at barnes & noble. another barty understander i daresay

@sugarsnappeases <- THE OTHER HALF OF THE RAREPAIR BUREAU. kara's microfics hit me like 9/11 every single time (that searing bella sirius-death character study? the BARTYLILY DRESS FIC?) and they are another lesbionic understander of women. when people say they want more marauders girls content they should just go to kara lmfaooo

@rottin6 <- can't talk about layla without offering my hand in marriage sorry. princess of the bartylilysphere i rather think... hottest most erotic microfics i've ever read in my life, thank god for the people who understand barty's Trashboy Dick on a cerebral level

@veryinnovative <- we all definitely already know ino but that's okay. probably divinely gifted to come up with the most unexpected & niche AUs that still manage to make perfect sense and hit every single time.

@moon-seas <- KAYY. my favorite artist on here hands-down. a true dirtbag barty understander & they produce the most stunning digital collage-work. a privilege to see

@sommerregenjuniluft <- now where would i be without lune's barty understanding... yes their jegulus microfic porn is masterful but WHAT ABOUT their ability to put barty in the strangest situations ever (he's an electrician?? a circus clown, now???) and have it integrate perfectly with his character. that's good writing babe!!!!

also you should follow @dracure @royalthorned @morsmortish and @katakosmos for more good rosekiller content. we don't talk but I admire from afar ......

[sahisan]

hurt/comfort with wanderer where his lover used to be a harbinger alongside him but came with him and was the only one who didn’t forget him when he became wanderer. she, however was very close with childe and columbina, and often misses them. she has bad days where she goes into depressive states from being away from them, and wanderer is there for her.

★ summary: wanderer x ex-harbinger!gn!reader. he comforts you after you've had another dream about your past days as harbinger.

☆ cw: sfw. fluff. hurt/comfort. cuddling. wanderer is bad at comforting (kinda). wanderer is called 'kuni'. reader's gender not specifies despite that the req has 'she/her' pronouns. mention of arlecchino x columbina (i couldn't help myself (not when i like the fatui and harbingers sm)). reader's rank at the harbingers not mentioned. 897 words.

☾ a/n: okay so. um. let me start with an apology first okay. dear anon who sent me this im extremely like EXTREMELY sorry bc this request had been sent to me ON AUGUST 7 and im like. IM SO SORRY TRULY༎���⁠‿⁠༎ຶ also this is inspired by wanderer's teapot lines so hehe. anyways wanderer fluff yay (i wrote this while listening to onibi series).

despite being in another room, writing some very important and very useful essay about research on inazuma's economy after the repeal of the sakoku decree, wanderer hears clear sounds of crying and sobbing.

your crying and sobbing.

and since it's already past 3am, and you should be fast asleep, he immediately senses that something is clearly wrong. sighing at the papers on the desk in front of him, he stands up, exiting the room.

he enters the bedroom only to find you curled up under the blanket on the bed, incoherently sobbing and babbling about something with a weak voice, trembling under the sheets, with occasional gasps for air and more muffled, but still loud sniffles.

wanderer frowns empathetically at the sight.

he knows what caused this state - another dream or even a nightmare of yours about your past harbinger days, about the happy days at both your and his duty, about other harbingers... he knows all of it, since he's witnessed all of this with you by his side, being equals with you still.

"[name]." he calls out, sitting down on the edge of the bed right next to your curled form.

as he gets a response of a sob echoing through the room, wanderer sighs softly again.

and you can't bring yourself to answer. not when the memories flood your mind like a waterfall - there's a waterfall of tears on your cheeks, too.

"[name], get out of there." he asks you again, hand placed on the blanket on your shoulder, providing you with as much reassurance as he can give you at the moment.

he bites back a frown as you reveal your tear soaked face, letting the blanket move to the side as you move to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling in the dark. wanderer clearly doesn't like what he's seeing.

remembering that he can, at least, comfort you in some way, he gets under the covering without any further words, draping a hand over your waist to bring your sobbing body closer and closer to him until your face is nestled flush against his chest. his other hand keeps you near by having his fingers softly going through locks of your hair on the back of your head.

you cling onto him like he's your life vest, your savior and an angel that's here purely to rescue you and help you out of your misery. wanderer almost chokes out a "hey!" as you get impossibly close, hands around him to basically melt into him - it even feels there's no air between the two of you. not like he minds it, of course.

he hears you muffling another small cry into his chest, before you exhale shakily through your mouth, sniffling quietly.

"did you dream of them again?"

"...yes."

"who was it this time?"

"columbina and- and childe." you reply, interrupted by a small hiccup as you speak. he could laugh at that but he can't bring himself to do it now, looking at your current state. he knows it's tough for you - it's always been since you both parted ways with the fatui.

"i- i miss them, kuni." you whisper shakily, and your voice sounds so weak as if you're going to break into tears again - and that's precisely what you do, clinging onto him, unsteady hands grabbing onto his clothing.

wanderer sighs deeply. "i know." he knows, he knows, he does. how couldn't he when almost every evening you start babbling about those petty banquets hosted by the harbingers to let out all the stress from the past month, literally about everything you - and he - could remember.

"do you- do you remember that banquet?" you ask quietly, sniffling a few more times, before wanderer goes silent for a moment to think.

oh.

"oh, that banquet?" he confirms thoughtfully, hearing a small, quiet chuckle from you.

"yes, that one."

"that one where signora purposefully got childe so drunk that he started flirting with columbina and almost got beaten up by arlecchino?" he laughs too after you do, realizing you're slowly but surely getting better now. "how could i forget that one?"

"oh, kuni, i know you could never.." you smile up at him, eyelashes glistening with small tears on them.

"yeah, she beat his ass just as the bastard deserved." wanderer says, his thumb coming to wipe the trails of tears on your reddened cheeks. "i almost admire her for that."

"almost?"

"almost."

that is when he earns a loud, long laughing season from you, back to seeing you smiling from ear to ear and crying now because of how hard you're laughing.

if the puppet had a heart it would be shattered into pieces by now, after witnessing all your reactions and emotions. wanderer unintentionally, subconsciously, starts laughing with you.

"sometimes i think you hate everyone in this world." you speak up after you've both calmed down a tad bit.

"why only think? i do hate everyone." he retorts with a raised eyebrow. "everyone except for you." he adds quietly, nuzzling comfortably into the crown of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair.

"what was that, kuni?" you try to look up, but his hand keeps you at place. ah, there i is - your favorite flustered wanderer is back, just as you like it.

"nothing, go to sleep." he mutters, tugging you into the blanket silently.

[shoulderscars]

Why I love Midnight Sun

ok I know this might be a hot take, but I actually love Midnight Sun. It's my favorite Twilight Saga book. And here's why [Spoiler Alert Affective from here!]

The Making of the Cullen Family (and their respective backstory's): I love that we get to know all the little details, like how Alive waited for the perfect moment to join the group and how she literally hugs Edward the moment they meet for the first time, and how they have a mutual understanding before saying a word in conversation.

Carlisle. (Simple, refined, respectable, perfect): It's not like we didnt know the before Midnight Sun, but I think Edwards insight on his brain is just...amazing. We can really see all of Carlisle's selflessness and how he is a simple man who wants the best for his children. Also, we get an insight on Carlisle and Esme's love with is so refined but perfect.

Emmett. (The best Cullen after Carlisle?): The whole book is actually giving Emmett's character depth. In the beginning of the book, Emmett's internal thoughts seem to be the same as he is perceived in the rest of the books from Bella's perspective, but as the book progresses, we see Emmett being amazing, and how much of a loving and simply perfect person (loose definition) he is.

Edward & Rose (good God they could be toddlers but really cute nevertheless): The scene where Edward remembers the day that he and Rose became brother and sister is actually a gorgeous scene. Lives in my head rent free. Also I love how the come to a consensus that Rose won't play nice but she will tolerate, and then they both keep snapping silently at each other. BUT when Alice mentions Charlie and the red head on the phone (while getting Bella to the hospital), Rose is honest to God ready to kill for him. BRO.

Jasper's Powers (wait he's actually OP?): Jasper's general character depth isn't explored much in the book, but his powers that he displays in the field is actually on a whole different level. No explanation needed

Alice's Powers (it's a work of ART.): In the scene where they are transporting Bella from the dance studio to the hospital, we take a dive into how Alice uses her abilities and how she perfects the future. The whole scene is flawless and actually clears up a lot about her "physic" ability based on decision making. The whole section just flowed so well, and I love it so much.

BONUS POINTS: Emmett getting repeatedly annoyed at the silent conversations that Alice and Edward have. IM SORRY I LOVE IT SO MUCH, and I love how EVEN AFTER 70ISH YEARS OF LIVING WITH BOTH OF THEM, IT STILL ANNOYS HIM HAHA

Didn't think I was gonna write an essay tonight but here I am 😭😭

I do genuinely love the Twilight Universe (the book version y'all with only visual inspiration for imagination hehe) and this book....ah I love how it helps build the vampire side of the lore. It makes me so happy lol

[swanhurrem]

Imprint: Chapter 8.

Embry Call x FemReader (no use of y/n)

Summary: You were best friends with Embry, Jacob and Quil. And you saw how each one of them walked away from you. What will happen when out of nowhere they try to fix their relationship?

A/N: Im sooo back, don't worry, I will keep updating all my series and I promise I won’t leave any unfinished. Enjoy!

Twilight Masterlist

Imprint Masterlist (this serie)

<Chapter 7 | Chapter 9>

When the Jeep parked in front of your house, you shouted at Chris to leave and let you be alone while you hobbled as quickly as you could to the porch. Upon entering the house, you slammed the door shut behind you and leaned against it while grabbing the hockey stick your father used to play with every weekend. Your mother hated that he left it lying by the entrance and always scolded him for it; right now, you were grateful he hadn’t listened those times.

You tightened your grip on the stick and began to crawl around the house with your back against the wall, turning on all the lights as you entered the rooms. Once the ground floor was clear, you did the same on the second floor, and when it was equally empty, you locked your door, placed a chair under the doorknob, and dragged your largest piece of furniture in front of the window, completely covering it. You spent the rest of the night sitting in a corner and managed to rest only when you heard your parents’ voices.

You were on your fifth day when you finally reached your breaking point. You had endured the incessant pain in your arms and head, but your back simply couldn’t bear your weight for another second. Your body was still full of foam when you wrapped yourself in a towel and called Sue Clearwater, asking her to please come to your house with her medical supplies. Sue was a specialized nurse, and many people in the reservation called her when there was a minor accident, as her expertise was in demand. You told her it was urgent because you knew otherwise she wouldn’t come to see you.

The people in the reservation were quite... gossipy. Whatever happened there spread like wildfire and was on everyone’s lips for months, so the breakup between Leah and Sam a few years ago kept everyone on edge for several months. It was a spark that only reignited when the town began to notice that Leah’s very own cousin, Emily, was meeting Sam in the woods almost every day. You remember how your parents talked about it even at the market with people they knew, how everyone told Sue how "sorry" they were.

After that incident, most of the calls to her were for minor injuries, accompanied by awkward questions about her daughter’s state and her niece’s terrible attitude, so she had given up on the idea of helping. She did so at a good time, as just a week later, Emily and Sam's relationship became official.

“I hate men” Umma declared holding her head.

Embry, Quil, Umma and you were in the library preparing an essay for history, when your classmate suddenly spoke.

“What are you talking about?” you asked distractedly.

“About Emily and Sam, silly” Quil replied, taking the blue pen from your hand that you were working with. He wasn’t doing anything important, really; he was just drawing shapes in one of the books.

Embry, who was picking up some books from a shelf, jumped next to you and whispered in your ear “The new gossip in town, aren’t you paying attention?”

You snatched the books from his hands while he smiled from ear to ear; annoying you was his favorite hobby, and any reaction you gave simply fueled him “I only pay attention to things that concern me; what strangers do in their private lives doesn’t interest me”

Embry took a chair from another table and sat next to you. He stared at you for a few seconds when suddenly touched your forehead with his index finger “You’re going to wrinkle” he said, pointing at your furrowed brow.

You swatted his hand away and sat up straighter, crossing your arms in front of you “Can you explain what their relationship has to do with your hatred?” you asked your classmate.

“Because everyone can leave you for someone else” she emphasized, pointing at your friends. “Like Sam, leaving his girlfriend for his girlfriend's COUSIN” the last part was a loud whisper, accompanied by a horrified expression directed at the boys.

“Don’t look at me; if the girl is hot, it’s reason enough” Quil commented, still focused on whatever he was writing.

“You're disgusting” you and Umma said at the same time, both throwing erasers at him. You could hear the other people in the library asking for silence over the laughter of your friends at your table.

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts. You turned your neck so quickly it cracked, and you swiftly grabbed the hockey stick that was on the toilet, still carrying it with you. A stupid move considering that if someone were going to attack you, they wouldn't knock on the door.

"Who is it?" you asked.

"Sue, darling. Can I come in?" Her voice made you feel at ease, and after putting the stick back in its place, you let her in.

When Sue entered, she scolded you for not having called her earlier, for being so underdressed in the bathroom with the skylight open, and for leaving the front door key in a flowerpot on the porch. Then she handed you a robe she had taken from your closet and guided you to your bed.

"Alright, what's my diagnosis?" you asked with humor in your voice, receiving a disapproving look in return.

"You're fine, darling. You were very lucky not to have broken any ribs or suffered a lumbar pinching with everything you've been doing since the day of the hit until today" she said while jotting something down on a paper you couldn't see. "But you pushed your body beyond its limits, and that's why you're in so much pain. So from now on, you'll be in bed for several days, and if you want, I can come help you on the days your parents can't be here" She finished speaking and placed the paper on your nightstand, her hand lingering there for a few seconds until she spoke again, this time more quietly than before "You can always... call Embry, I'm sure he—"

You interrupted her with clear disdain in your voice "I'm sorry for interrupting you, Sue, but you should know that I’ll be fine. I have someone to call anyway"

Days had gone by without thinking about Embry, and this wasn’t exactly the best time to bring him to mind. Ever since you saw him that day at the beach, you hadn’t been able to shake the immense guilt you felt over your feelings for him, considering your stable but deceitful relationship with Chris.

Sue let out a sigh as she stroked your arm "Alright... I’ll leave you the things to keep in mind on the paper, and I’ll talk to your mother later" She got up and grabbed her bag, giving you a smile. You returned it until it slowly faded, overshadowed by the one thought that filled your mind.

__

Taglist:

@ ravenclaw-hoe  

@ b-tchymoon

@ rosebud1510

@notperfect-justme

@kenqki

@felinegrate

@bimbotinkerbell

@bookishbabyyyy

@tinyminxie

@babygirl097

[youreyeson1y]

SIX— I BREATHED

cw — swearing, typos, ignore timestamps

STEAL THE SHOW. a kim seungmin smau

PREVIOUS < MASTERLIST > NEXT

MI’S NOTES — [17/10/2024] wow a lot has happened, GOLD is finally out and goddamn u better know im bangin my head to that choreo lol. im obsessed esp with bad girls r us and ofc vay!!! (changbin ate I’m afraid) (short rant coming up lolz — lovely runner & general update) and imaginary friend???? what. was that?!?! top #3 itzy songs im not even kidding I HOPE IT BLOWS UP BECAUSE DBASHDBH

also like small life update heh, when I first started w this, I was making these chs almost daily as I had a week off from school and nothing better to do (was surprised by my own consistency) but then just I had the biggest writer’s block after ch5 so i decided to take a break and I watched lovely runner these past two days !! (usually it takes a lot for me to finish a kdrama, but lr was the first time I binged watched a drama)

I was SIMPING UGH but could never be a bigger simp that sun jae (but I’ll be lying if I said that i didn’t have the biggest crush on the musician-playboy-bestie lolz like the seojun effect finally got me LIKE HES SUCH A CUTIE AND HIS SMILE?? AND THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? GOSH 😭😭😭) WHERE DO I FIND MEN LIKE SUN JAE OHMYGOD THEY DON’T MAKE THEM LIKE HIM ANYMORE IM AFRAID 🥲 both the men fr got me giggling and kicking my feet and shit, but the only difference is while musician-bestie guy would be like cocky and proud of himself for getting that reaction out of me, ik sunjae would be kicking his feet with me ohmygod he’s such a simp I’m getting flashbacks and falling in love w them all over again 😭😭 i’m so down bad (but could never compete w sunjae tho he set the standard for pining 🥲) i could really write an essay lol but I’ll stop for yalls sake 😮‍💨😍

and also this break gave me more confidence in my decision in getting a headstart by already making the first few chapters for this smau first before publishing it because I knew my ass could never enjoy a day-off without worrying about the next update and that’s how I wouldn’ve just felt obligated to update and lost my love for the story and feel burnt out and yeah… (can u guess I’ve given up on too many projects 😭)

anyway so that was me, sorry for the long ass a/n but just wanted to vent for a bit 🥲 past mimi signing off xx

SYNOPSIS — kang y/n’s focus was divided between the looming competition and the obnoxious and infuriating kim seungmin. his mocking and sarcastic online jabs sparked her retaliation, entertaining the university with their petty banter. but as their online repartee became routine, curiosity supplanted irritation, threatening her priorities and composure.

TAGLIST — open! (send in an ask to be added 🤍)

@babrieeee @starlostastronaut @charlieg1rl @queen-in-the-shadows @estella-novella @chocolateislife @saintcosette @yaniiiiism @gnabnahcbby @seungzmin @puppy-minnie @jeonginnieswifey @bookswillfindyouaway @keiizzx @hanniemylovelyquokka @jeonginplsholdmyhand

[cypionate60mg]

I just wanted to say I love what you’re doing omg… apologies if im totally missing the point by the way, I have only read some of ur responses to other asks and I’m not well read at all in the philosophy you talk about. Still I feel really seen by your posts or more accurately your posts feel exactly like my state of mind before committing to transitioning…. The repetitive and often kind of fleeting quality of the images you use reminds me of the obsessiveness I used to have over my (purposely unattainable) wishes of what I could be, the sort of wishes that don’t expect to be fulfilled unless pushed to the forefront by someone else, which the forcemasc does…. The captions are so raw and definitive that they feel half like someone else talking to me and half like my own repressed consciousness speaking what it can’t respectably say through someone else. most of the men being guys who I absolutely will not look like (I’m Asian and really short) adds to this because ur posts feel like the expression of an ideal fantasy, with all the caveats and problematic implications of creating an ideal fantasy of what being a man is based on your half-formed understanding of manhood through tv and the movies and whatnot… it rlly feels like trying to formulate an idea of what being a man would be like, without understanding or rlly comprehending the realities of life as the sort of man you will be. And in this way it’s like being on the precipice of taking the steps to actually realize the person you want to be, which you have some image of, but you really don’t know… the thing about transition (ime anyways) is that it highlights how who you are and who you want and what you value are all more intertwined and codeterminate than ppl think. I think many trans men eventually reach this point where they have to grapple with the question of what makes a man, anyways, besides a desire to be one? These posts feel like the state before unraveling any of that but you can see the strings so visibly there, waiting to be pulled on… Also one particular image you used a bit ago the one of the man and woman on the bicycle oh my god idk what it’s actually from but it felt so precisely like something I’d see while closeted and fixate on for weeks and weeks, creating a whole new image of it in my mind as a symbol of what could ideally be, stripping it of what it actually was while making it something more. Also your blog has felt very validating to me in my desire to turn away from wanting to be pretty, even as a man, which I feel is a box transmascs often get placed in against our will. Sorry this became an essay …. All of this is to say that I really appreciate your work and I’m excited to see where u go with it next !

Miss the point? I'd say quite the opposite. And no philosophy primer needed. If I were to go through, line by line, and find quotes of yours that I found incredibly salient and accurate to my own feelings, then I'd probably be copy-pasting your entire message. Very well-said.

There's also something to be said about being Asian and transmasculine. How it is burdened with uniquely specific assumptions about motivations for transition and rampant intracommunity fetishization. I try not to let it overwhelm me. Biting my tongue for now, but I have a lot to say about this. It's part of why I am painfully careful about whose photos I use, and with what text.

I'm relieved that you are able to pick out the intentional shortcomings of this project. The images show us fantasies of masculinity, and the captions do represent (to some degree) the frustration and neediness that comes from wanting to attain those ideals. They're that "repressed consciousness speaking what it can't respectably say", and I am that "someone else" for you, the viewer. I'll always be here to remind you that you should do it, you should chase after it anyway, because pursuing the impossible still changes you in a very real, palpable way.

"If you can't do it good, do it hard."

Thanks, anon. I hope I hear from you again.

Much love, CYP60MG

P.S. That movie is Rebels of the Neon God by Ming-liang Tsai. You should watch it.

[kydnexploded]

Hello!! Do you have any drawing tips for when drawing different facial features? Love your art 🫶❤

im not good at giving drawing advice and all that so this is just what i do

learn anatomy, structures of the face and proportions

then i learn to simplify things, use basic shapes and play with sizes. i also tend to exaggerate features

then USE REFERENCES and learn from other artists! i always study from different artists with really different styles ranging from cartoonish to realism because i just like to see how they approach to drawing things especially faces, and how they draw the features and capture likeness, then i practice with reference photos.

idk if my answer connect with what youre asking, im stupid af with these things, i literally steal and copy to improve my art💀

want to demonstrate this with just drawing what im talking about but idk how to do it and i knew im gonna be bad so heres some random study sketches

i know its not much but whatever🛌

this has became an essay than just tips im so sorry uuggh🛌🛌🛌 hope this inexpert artist's rambling helps

and thank you :•>🙏