#im so so so sorry

[mt-lowercase-m-derogatory]

Personally, I use my limited grasp of language to mimic unpleasant humans and enter your supermarkets without being confronted.

Then I inject my eggs into the product most nutritious for my species: printer ink cartridges. The cashiers know and encourage this because they're sick individuals.

Whenever you wonder why your printer ran out of ink so quickly, please discard the cartridge into a dry, shaded bin.

Sometimes I wonder how some people on tumblr manage to operate in daily life. Like do they go to the store, pick up a box of green hair dye, read the text on the back saying "if your hair is dark, we recommend bleaching it before using this product!" and then go "um well excuse me, what if I like having dark hair?? Why would I even want gross bleach-fried green hair instead??" and become outraged by such fucked up thing to say, because the green hair dye box failed to clarify that this advice only applies to the people who want to achieve green hair. Do not buy this green hair dye unless you want to dye your hair green.

[deadgaytragedies]

just felt like it . .

[tomeofmonie]

Sanji OP as this Sabrina Carpenter doodle

(Apologies for the shitpost but the idea has been haunting me ALL DAY)

[junetoosoon]

What if instead of Aperture Science it was Freakature Science, and instead of Wheatley we had Freakley, and instead of tests we had jerkin it nasty style

[milariro]

ehm Q////Q

[sleepyycapybara]

Leo: I hope they play Fein

Jason: We are literally in the middle of Gaea's awakening

Guys I'm really sorry

[sightlesscrow]

Really shitty attempt at a wojak Coyle meme

[xxzombieangelsxx]

Can't belive THIS is my first post on here...

[zal-cryptid]

(joke question) even tho toyfolk cant even kids what would ship kids between the characters look like (like the current ships like jen and paul mel and tammy etc etc)

Okay, tvheadvoid, you brought these monsters into this world. Name them, and I'll show them all grown up.

[inuyassa]

HELLO!!! Can i make a Luffy x F!reader (not dating YET but mutual pining) request where the reader gets injured during a fight but hides it from the crew because the victory party started, (and because after everything Luffy has been through recently the reader doesn't want him to worry) BUT she goes down half way through the party?

What is Luffy's reaction??

Angst to comfort ig?? does that make sense???

THANK.

OMG YOU KNOW I LOVE ME SOME ANGST!!!!!!! I hope this is what you were thinking/hoping!!

Luffy x F!Reader

Request

Angst/Comfort

Warnings: Mentions of Death, Blood, and Implied Injury. Some mature language.

Wake Up...

She gripped the edge of the bathroom sink as she placed another round of antiseptic on the wound.  It was a fresh laceration, bright red and still bleeding.  She had only received it a day ago while the crew was ashore and attacked by a local gang.  The fight was short lived, but she still took quite a few hits, and when one came at her with a knife…

It would be so simple to just go to Chopper and ask to be patched up, but by the time everyone made their way back to the ship, the party was underway.  Drinks and food and music, complements of Zoro, Sanji, and Brook respectively.  It was one of the first times since reuniting that the crew was able to celebrate a win together.  Luffy was overjoyed, his smile was back after so much pain…how could she ruin that by making him worry?

After another painful round of wound cleaner, she made her way back onto the deck.  Brook was jamming away on his violin while Sanji pined after Robin and Nami with plates of sweets and mugs of tea.  Zoro laughed through a half drunk bottle of sake while Luffy devoured a full serving of meat on the bone. The sounds of laughter once again filled the deck of the Thousand Sunny.  She smiled, her eyes growing heavy.  She braced herself against the nearby pillar and tried to stop the world from spinning. 

“Hey kiddo, you doing okay?” Franky walked up beside her, he had been making his way to the spread of food when he saw her loose balance.  She looked up at him, his smile faded when he saw how pale she looked, her skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat.  “Woah, buddy, you don’t look too good,” he said, putting a large, strong hand on your shoulder.  “You need me to get Chopper?”

She grinned, feeling the world swallow her up.  “Hey, Franky,” she began.  “Don’t let me hit my head okay?” Her legs buckled beneath her and she fell.  Franky lunged forward to catch her, easing her onto the ground.  “Kid? Kid! Hey, we need help over here!”

Franky’s voice cut through the jovial music, causing Brook to freeze and the rest of the crew to look towards him.  When Luffy saw her on the ground, he rushed over, leaving his half eaten meat behind.  Chopper followed closely behind, grabbing his bag from off the bench.  The rest of the crew shot over, hovering as she lay in Franky’s arms.  Her breath was short and shaky, her brow furrowed in pain.  Luffy looked her over with panic, that’s when he noticed the blood soaking into her shirt.  She was hurt.  He faltered backwards several steps before he fell to his knees, his heart beating loud and fast in his ears, his eyes full of fear.  Zoro noticed his Captain and knelt down in front of him.  “Luffy, you’ve got to stay with us okay?”

“Blood…” Luffy said, his voice hoarse and soft.  “She’s bleeding…”

Zoro grabbed his shoulders.  He might be the future Pirate King, but right now, he was that same little kid who just lost his brother.  “Look at me Luffy,” Zoro said, his voice stern but comforting.  “This is not like then, this is now.  She’s going to be fine.  You won’t lose her, understand?”  That’s when Zoro noticed the tears welling up in Luffy’s eyes.  He stared blankly ahead, his face locked.  “Blood…” he breathed.  “So much blood…”

“We need to get her inside,” Chopper said.  “She’s responsive but in a lot of pain.”  Franky nodded and stood up, slowly cradling her tense body in his arms.  She let out a pained yell as he did, and Luffy’s breath caught in his throat.  He stood up, shoving Zoro out of the way and running towards her.  He was tackled by Usopp who pinned the manic Luffy down.  “Calm down Luffy,” he yelled.  “You won’t be any help to her the way you are now.”

Luffy clawed at the ground, his fists filling with grass and dirt, he yelled for Usopp to get off him.  “I’m your captain,” he screamed, his voice raw.  “You do as I say and get the hell off me!”

A large, leather clad shoe pinned Luffy’s head to the ground.  Sanji stood above him, his eyes filled with rage and worry.  “You need to calm down Luffy,” he sneered.  “This isn’t helping anyone, especially not her!” 

Luffy fought against the pressure, but with his arms bound by Usopp, he wasn’t going anywhere.  His breath became fast and heavy, his body slowly losing the will to fight them off anymore.  Hot tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed.  He let our months of repressed worry and fear.  Pain he thought he was over all came rushing back into him like a flood he couldn’t control…

***

“You gave us all quite a scare,” Chopper lectured her as he changed her bandages.  It had been two days since she collapsed at the party, and in that short amount of time, Chopper’s treatment had all but healed her.  “You’ll have a nasty scar, but other than that, your wound looks really good!”

She smiled, caressing the small doctor’s cheek.  “Looks like I owe you my life yet again Doctor.” Chopper began to blush, assuring her that her compliments could not fool him, and that she was a liar.  She laughed.  “Is Luffy around?  I haven’t seen him since I woke up.”

Chopper paused.  “He hasn’t really talked much to anyone on board.  He just sits at the helm and looks out at the sea���we’re all sort of worried about him.”

She sighed, looking out the small window at the ocean.  In an attempt to save Luffy the pain of seeing her hurt, she ended up making the situation much worse…

*** 

Luffy sat cross-legged, letting the sea breeze run its invisible fingers through his hair, his hat dangling around his neck.  The sun was getting ready to set, that would mean three days since he last saw her…

”Is this seat taken?”  Luffy’s head shot around to see her standing behind him, a small blanket wrapped around her.  His heart dropped to his stomach.  She looked so tired…

She must have taken his silence as a response and lowered herself down next to him.  His eyes never left her, afraid that if he so much as blinked she would disappear forever. “You don’t need to blame yourself, you know,” she began.  “I hid it from everyone.  I didn’t want to make you worry.  I guess that plan sort of backfired though huh?”

Luffy still only stared at her…”You were bleeding,” he began.  “And then you collapsed…just like he did.”

She looked at him.  “Luffy…”

“I thought you weren’t going to wake up too…”

Before he could say anything else she threw her arms around him, pulling him into her arms.  Luffy held onto her tight, burrowing his face in between her neck and shoulder.  She felt his body shake with silent sobs.  “I’m right here,” she whispered.  “I’m right here.  I’m not going anywhere I promise…”

[tuppaware-art]

[babastange]

Ah yes, I understand. The explicit sex scene they were teasing us about

[mantis-yippee]

Day three of balding everyone until the S2 trailer releases, you've heard of Archibald, now we have Kenjibald..

[sweeneydino]

...

...

...

I'm so sorry.

[crimsonred-hi]

Everything, Everywhere

Pairing: Andrew Hozier-Byrne x Reader

Warnings:

Summary: his lover is laying there, laying under 6 feet under the grass. Gone to the world. The love of his life: gone. Yet, he stills comes every week, to smile at her, and tell her that one day he’ll join her, but he promised her to live to the fullest… so he will.

He sits there, in front of the stone. It’s a pretty stone, with flowers painted on it, because his mother tried to make the stone pretty by painting on it.

He smiles at her, cutting the ends off the flowers he bought for her, making sure to cut them at a 45 degree angle so they last longer. It’s a bouquet of spring flowers, because the season is changing and he is going to the U.S. for a couple months, he wants the flowers to look right of the time.

He places the flowers out, making them look nice. He’s always known that the fact he never got over her was considered weird, but how could he: she was perfect and now she’s gone.

“How are ya doing, love?… I hope your well, I’m well. My life is going well… it’s weird, not having you around to fight of the groupies.”

He laughs warmly, smiling with that twinkle in his eyes, taking a memory of her arguing with a groupie because the girl was getting too close to him.

___

“Honey, why were you being like that?”

His lover grumbles from the side of him as they walk home form the pub, her arms crossed and his jacket over her shoulders.

“She was too fuckin close! She was too close. I didn’t like it.”

He sighs, moving closer, arm draped over her shoulders, pressing his lips too her forehead.

“Y/n, I’m not going to leave ya for some lass in the pub…”

She grumbles again, but she becomes a little less tense with his words.

___

“You were a funny gal… you really made me happy…”

The light in his eyes is lots at the need to use past tense when talking about her… she’s gone.

He can’t admit it, he doesn’t want to: why would he want to. He loves her, he can’t stop his love for her, but she’s not coming back. SHE IS NOT COMING BACK. He can’t say it out loud…

“I’m going on tour soon, I’m going to (your home city)… I’m gonna see your parents, celebrate your birthday with them… I’m so thankful that they let you stay in Ireland with me… I’m so thankful…”

He smiles back at the stone, her name cared into it with a curvy font. ‘Loving Daughter, Sister, Friend and Wife’. They weren’t even married, they never got the chance to get married, but her parents surprised him by putting wife on it: he cried when he read it. He wept and wept.

He still weeps.

He fiddles with the flower on her grave, trying to distract himself from the pain.

“Ermmm… I’ve got another album coming out… and I read that book you got me for my birthday, why didn’t you tell me you annotated it? I cried when I read your handwritten…”

He laughs warmly, running his hand through his hair.

“Your handwriting is so messy… and what possessed you to write in that awful purple pen?”

___

“Christ! Why are ya writin’ like that?”

She giggles, poking the pen into his arm, drawing on his arm and hurting him at the same time.

“Oi, I like this pen, it’s a nice colour.”

“It’s also blinding.”

He grumbles standing behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, kissing the back of her head and nuzzling into her hair.

“Come on, ya couldn’t have just written in black or blue?”

That sets her off, now she’s talking his ear off about how much she hates blue pen, his heart just melts as she talks with her hands.

___

He laughs that full belly laugh, the laugh that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners and makes his smile wide, gorgeous.

“God! You were so fuckin funny! Good God… you were extraordinary…”

His thoughts break through, usually he would think about his own music when he was at her grave, Work Song is a constant in his mind… but he did that song with Noah Kahan recently, all he can think about is Everything, Everywhere… the title alone makes his breath shoulder, she was everything, she is everywhere.

“We cried, ‘oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh’

Everything, everywhere

I wanna love you ‘till we’re food for the worms to eat

‘Till our fingers decompose

Keep my hand in yours…”

The lyrics are soft on his lips.

He’s sang to her before, dead or alive. He felt like she was listening, he knew she wasn’t. He never believed in ghosts or the afterlife, it’s a warming concept, but is it true? He doubts it is. But he finds warmth in knowing that the plot next to his lover is bought and waiting for him.

It’s sad… he bought it the same day he bought hers.

He knows he’s still young, he knows he could find another, he could find many more… but the sheer idea of having another woman the way he had her makes him sick. It feels like cheating.

“Ya know, I made a song…. I make loads of songs, you know that… I made one about us… well, I’m telling the people it’s about characters in Dante’s Inferno…… it’s about how I would do it again… I would love you again even with the knowledge of what’s to come…”

“It’s a nice thought… well not nice, but ya know what I mean… I love the idea of meeting you again… even if it’s in hell.”

He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Christ… what I would do to have you here or be there with you?”

He sighs, looking at the time on his phone… he’s gotta go. He doesn’t want too.

“I’m sorry, honey… I’ve gotta go… I’m sorry… I’ll visit when I can… I’ll be back I promise.”

His words are too soothe a nonexistent being, the being is gone, yet he still acts like he’s talking to his living lover.

He blows her a kiss, and leaving her grave behind. His heartbreaking yet again at having to leave. Wishing he could lie in the ground with her forever…

Im sorry. Im so, so sorry.

[pinklotushere]

"And I'm trying to be sane."

- Welcome and goodbye Song by Dream, Ivory

---

The Wayne Manor study was cold, despite the fire burning in the hearth. Bruce stood by the window, staring out at the snow-dusted gardens. Dick stormed in, his anger palpable, the door slamming shut behind him.

“You think this interview is going to fix anything?” Dick snapped, his voice sharp and accusatory.

Bruce didn’t turn around. “It’s not about fixing things. It’s about giving Jason the respect he deserves.”

Dick scoffed, pacing. “Respect? You want to give him respect now? After putting him in a position that got him killed?”

Bruce’s shoulders stiffened, but he remained silent.

Dick’s anger boiled over. “You made him pick up that mantle, Bruce! You let him get involved in your war, and it got him killed! He wasn’t ready for any of it. He was just trying to live up to your impossible standards.”

“I didn’t make him do anything,” Bruce said quietly, still not turning to face Dick. “Jason made his own decisions.”

Dick slammed his fist on the desk. “Don’t do that! Don’t act like this is some noble tragedy where Jason’s choices were all his own. He was a kid. A stubborn, angry, reckless kid who wanted nothing more than to prove himself to you. And you let him!”

Bruce finally turned, his face lined with exhaustion and guilt. “You think I don’t blame myself? Every decision I made, every moment I wasn’t there to stop it—I think about it constantly. I failed him, Dick. I know that."

Dick’s voice dropped, the anger giving way to raw pain. “You didn’t just fail him, Bruce. You failed me.”

The words hung in the air like a physical blow. Bruce’s mouth opened slightly, but no words came out.

“I trusted you to protect him,” Dick continued, his voice shaking. “I thought you learned from everything we went through. But you made the same mistakes. And now Jason’s gone because of it.”

Bruce turned back to the window, his voice barely audible. “I thought I could save him. I thought I was giving him a better life.”

Dick took a step back, his anger simmering beneath the surface. “Well, you didn’t. And now you’re dragging yourself in front of Gotham to pretend like this will make things better. But it won’t. Nothing will.”

Bruce didn’t respond. The only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. Finally, Dick turned and walked out, leaving Bruce alone with his guilt.

---

The studio was unnaturally quiet as Bruce sat across from the reporter. The lights were harsh, casting deep shadows on his face.

“Mr. Wayne,” the reporter began, her voice gentle, “the loss of Jason Todd has left Gotham in mourning. How are you handling this tragedy?”

Bruce took a long pause before answering, his voice low and measured. “Jason was… a son to me. Losing him is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. There are no words for that kind of pain.”

The reporter nodded sympathetically. “Can you tell us about Jason? What was he like?"

Bruce’s lips twitched into a faint, bittersweet smile. “Jason was…complicated. He was stubborn, always pushing boundaries, always asking questions. But that’s what made him special. He never accepted things as they were—he always wanted to make them better. He had a sharp mind, a quick wit, and a fierce determination to prove himself.”

Jason, grinning as he leaned against the Batmobile, grease smudged on his face. “Told you I could fix it faster than Alfred,” he’d said with that cocky smirk.

Bruce blinked, pushing the memory away. “He wasn’t perfect, but he was good. And he deserved more than what he got.”

The reporter’s tone turned cautious. “There’s been speculation that Jason’s proximity to you and your high-profile life may have contributed to his death. How do you respond to that?”

Bruce’s expression hardened. “Jason came into my life because I wanted to give him a chance—a real chance at a future. He deserved to feel safe, to have opportunities he’d never had before. If people want to blame someone for what happened, they can blame me. I made the choices that put him in harm’s way. And I’ll carry that responsibility for the rest of my life.”

The reporter’s voice softened. “What do you want Gotham to remember about Jason?”

Bruce’s voice faltered, his face blank. “Jason was… just a kid. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried. He deserved to grow up, to figure out who he wanted to be. I want people to remember that he mattered. That he was loved.”

"If there was something you'd say to jason now, what would it be?"

“There was a life before you, Jason,” he said aloud, his voice quiet and hoarse. “And then there was life with you. But for some reason, I never thought there would be an after you.”

He closed his eyes, the weight of those words pressing down on him. “But here it is. And I’m in it. I’ll be in it forever. I dont know how I'll go from here on”

"I'm sure he'd want you to move on" the interviewer smiled gently

Jason, standing in the kitchen, grinning triumphantly as he held up a burnt lasagna. “Alfred said I couldn’t cook. Joke’s on him—it’s technically edible!"

Bruce’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “He had this way of… making you believe anything was possible, even when you knew better. He made the world feel bigger somehow.”

---

Dick Grayson sat forward in his chair, his hands clasped tightly. The grief in his expression was raw and unfiltered.

“Thank you for being here, Dick,” the reporter began. “Jason Todd’s death has been a tragedy felt across Gotham. How are you coping?”

Dick exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening. “I’m not. Jason wasn’t just some kid I knew—he was my brother. Losing him feels like… like losing a part of myself.”

The reporter nodded. “What was your relationship like with Jason?”

A faint smile flickered across Dick’s face, tinged with sadness. “It was complicated. We argued a lot. He was stubborn, always trying to prove himself. But that’s what made him… Jason. He didn’t back down, even when he probably should have. He cared about people, even if he didn’t always show it. He had so much potential.”

Jason, laughing as he raced him across the rooftops. “Come on, dickhead, keep up!” he’d shouted, his voice full of that youthful arrogance.

Dick’s smile faded. “But he never got the chance to figure it all out.”

“What do you want people to remember about Jason?”

Dick’s voice softened, his eyes glistened “Jason was just a kid trying to find his place in the world. He deserved so much more than what he got. I want people to remember that he mattered. That he was loved.”

The reporter asked, “What would you say to Jason now if you could?”

Dick’s voice cracked, his composure slipping. “I’d tell him I’m sorry. That I was too hard on him. That I didn’t mean half the things I said. And that… I loved him. I really did.”

Jason tackling him during a training session, both of them laughing as they tumbled to the ground. “Not bad for the new guy, huh?” Jason had teased, his grin infectious.

“Not bad,” Dick had admitted, ruffling his hair.

---

Dick found Bruce waiting outside the studio, leaning against the car. The two stared at each other for a long moment.

“You heard it all, didn’t you?” Dick sighed

Bruce nodded. “You did good.”

Dick’s anger flared again. “Don’t patronize me, Bruce. I’m not doing this for you.”

Bruce’s expression darkened. “I know that.”

“Do you?” Dick stepped closer, his voice rising. “Because sometimes, it feels like all of this is still about you. Your guilt. Your pain. Meanwhile, Jason’s the one who’s gone. And we’re the ones left trying to make sense of it.”

Bruce looked away, his voice quiet. “I’m trying to do what’s right.”

Dick shook his head, the anger giving way to exhaustion. “Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before putting Jason in the crossfire.”

The two stood in silence before Dick finally turned to walk away. “I hope you figure it out, Bruce. For his sake.”

--

Dick sat alone in his apartment, His hands trembled as he stared at an old photograph of Jason. It was from one of Alfred’s rare attempts to capture the family at peace—Jason mid-laugh, trying to swat away Dick’s hand, messing with his hair.

"I should have picked up the damn phone"

He clenched the photo tighter, the edges biting into his palm.

They’d been in the Batcave, the tension between them boiling over after another mission. Jason leaned against the Batcomputer, arms crossed, his expression defiant.

“You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?” Jason snapped. “Just because you were the first. Golden Boy Grayson.”

“That’s not what this is about,” Dick shot back, his voice sharp. “You don’t listen, Jason. You charge in without thinking, and one day, it’s going to get you killed.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Right, because you never made mistakes. Spare me the lecture.”

Dick’s temper flared. “This isn’t about me! I’m trying to keep you alive, you idiot!”

Jason smirked, his usual defiance masking the hurt in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Dick. I’ll make sure not to ruin your perfect record.”

He'd stormed out, leaving Dick standing there, fists clenched.

Dick’s hand trembled as he brought the photo closer. “I should’ve apologized. I should’ve told you that I didn’t mean it, that I was just scared for you. But now… now I’ll never get the chance.”

He swallowed hard, tears streaking down his face. “You weren’t supposed to go, Jay. I wasn’t ready to lose you. Not like this.”

---

Headline the next week:

"Wayne’s Tragic Loss: ‘I Never Thought There Would Be an After’ – Bruce Speaks Out About Jason’s Death"

"Grayson Breaks Silence: ‘I Was Too Hard on Jason’ – A Brother’s Regret Revealed"

"Gotham’s Darkest Hour: Dick Grayson Reveals Guilt Over Jason’s Death"

"Jason Todd’s Tragic End: Wayne and Grayson Speak About the Boy Who Didn’t Make It"

"The Aftermath of a Tragedy: Grayson and Wayne Face the Public After Jason’s Death"

@BatFan25

"Damn. Bruce Wayne just admitted he never thought there’d be an ‘after’ Jason. That hit hard. #WayneFamily #JasonTodd"

@Nightwing_13

"Dick Grayson saying he was too hard on him? Man, I felt that, I'm mean to my little brother all the time, too. You can see the guilt in his eyes. #RIPJasonTodd #GraysonRegrets"

@GothamWatcher

"Anyone else feel like Bruce Wayne is still carrying the weight of this? His words about Jason... so heavy. #WayneFamily #GothamGrief"

@MissMysterious

"Honestly, watching Dick Grayson break down about Jason... I can’t handle it. He loved him so much, even when they fought. #GraysonFamily #JasonTodd"

@WonerwomanFangirl

"The way Bruce talked about Jason... like he’s still trying to process it. But I get it. Jason was his son. 😔 #WayneFamily #RIPJasonTodd"

@GothamKnight48"

Dick Grayson: 'But he never got the chance to figure it all out.' Jejxysgej my babies nooo #RIPJasonTodd #GraysonFamily"

@crimsoncider

"I honestly feel for Bruce. The man lost a kid he raised. People forget that part sometimes. #WayneFamily #JasonTodd"

@TheRealrobin

"Bruce saying he never thought there’d be an after Jason... I mean, who does? Losing a son? That’s the kind of pain you can’t just get over. #Grief"

@GothamViews

"It was hard to watch Dick talk about Jason. I think he always blamed himself a little. But at least he was honest. #Family"

@just_a_lonely_bat

"Bruce and Dick going these interviews about Jason... makes you realize they’re just human, too. So much pain behind those winning smiles of theirs. #WayneFamily"

Pls don't track down my house