#im so so serious this is like therapy
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one of these days i will draw desi fullmetal alchemist and then it will be over for all of you
#sparrowsquawks#fma#im so so serious this is like therapy#“im healing my inner child” i have been doing this for years and i refuse to stop
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i adore Maruki as a character because he's simultaneously the most relatable depressing character that will make you cry with empathy, and the goofiest wettest cat loser in the game like what do you mean youre a licensed therapist and your first response to trauma is to brainwash a girl, project ur relationship issues onto a 17 yr old boy, and then rule the world in a golden leotard? bro went from 0 to 100 so fast??? anyway he's like 30% of the reason why p5r works as well as it does
#maruki is so essential to why p5r works and im so serious about that#i should do a post one day just deep diving into what makes him the best antagonist. like narratively and thematically#maruki 10000% projected his life story onto joker#he called joker the light guiding his research and then his treasure is a torch?#he discussed his trauma at not being able to save rumi right before tempting joker to save akechi?#guys i think the therapist needs therapy#also he's so funny#remember when he sprinkled salt trying to act cool and then it blew in everyone's faces and stung a bunch of students#i love reading fics w him because its a toss-up#some of them call him out for being an insane world-dominating manipulator (valid)#and in some of them hes like the phantom thieves' weird neighbor that they invite sometimes bc he brings nice snacks (also valid)#i love it guys maruki the gift that keeps giving#persona 5#my post#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#maruki takuto#takuto maruki#shuake#phantom thieves#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#p5r maruki
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oh hama bead sg-1 we're really in it now
#i made these like. 3 weeks ago but i was hoping to get a better photo to post#unfortunately im riddled with adhd and keep forgetting to do that so this is the best it's gonna get#they're so widdle because i had about six colours total to work with lmao but they're actually so relaxing to make so who knows#maybe at some point i'll be picking it up as a full hobby#that's also the reason daniel doesn't have glasses btw i just haven't found a decent way of doing them#also long hair bc if i ever get around to doing jonas vala and cameron we would have some serious twinning going on#anyway tag ramble over i gotta go to therapy now#stargate#stargate sg1#hama beads#perler art
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not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂↕️😌
#not snz#literally said out loud to her “does that mean i get an a in therapy” which i assume we'll discuss at a later date lmao#random snz related thing tho#i told her today i used to hide the fact that i was sick as a child bc i didnt want to be a burden#and she was like wow. that's really serious#and i was like tbh i didn't think it was that big a deal until you said that LMAO#i hid everything!!! emotions are Bad To Show!!!#i just love her bc she doesnt mince words haha#did you guys hide the fact that you were sick as a kid? and not for like fetishy reasons#for like i dont want to bother anyone reasons#im sure im not alone there#anywayyyy#i promise im working on a story. its a mark story and he amd i are v similar so its been difficult to write#but itll hopefully be up by Friday#ive spent so much time on it and honestly i dont even like it but#its going out one way or another#i never spend this much time on one story idk whats going on#we'll see if anyone enjoys it!!#thats it for the novel in the tags if ya made it this far hi thanks for being part of my second therapy session of the day#aka the tags of a rando tumblr post lol
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Just a thought...
Sometimes I wish I could enjoy Helluva Boss like any normal person, without the need to talk and communicate with others about it.
Sometimes, I just want to enjoy the show for the sake of enjoyment.
Because seeing the characters interact:
Seeing Blitzø trying his damndest for his company and for the people he loves, despite his self-hatred seething out at every opportunity.
Seeing Stolas love so hard despite living a privileged and sheltered life devoid of the very love he rightfully deserves.
Seeing Moxxie finally have the guts to stand up to his abusive father, who tried to raise him as a ruthless leader.
Seeing Millie fiercely protect the love of her life, because the very thought of losing that special someone would destroy her.
Seeing Loona learn to love and appreciate her dad, and fit in as a young adult who was raised in the system.
Seeing Octavia try her best to go through and navigate her mother and father's tumultuous divorce, and learn how to cope.
Seeing Fizz stand up and escape his toxic and horrible boss that treated him like ass.
I just genuinely have such a strong love for the show, and I want to share it with people.
Of course, I have a favorite (as if it wasn't obvious), and yeah I like to yap, but I simply like to yap about the things I love, and I simply want to discuss it with people that genuinely love the show with all their heart.
~~~
It's scary how quickly a Fandom can grow toxic, how people look at a piece of media and enjoy it just as much as you do, but in a different way.
Those differences breed hatred and twist your words like a knife, but such is life.
Our thoughts and feelings are weapons, and in someone else's story, we are the enemy for simply sharing a difference of opinion.
At the same time...
Our thoughts and feelings are words of affirmation, signs that we're not alone in this way of thinking.
Sometimes just having people agree with you, is comforting. And by finding people that think the way you think, validates your thoughts in ways you don't expect.
Therefore, our thoughts and feelings can also save people.
In conclusion, I love this show a lot, and I just want to talk to people about it.
~~~
Also, like look at this red lizard.
I love him. I hope you do too.
He's so misunderstood.
But I love him.
He's an asshole.
But I adore him.
He's an idiot.
But I want to give him a hug.
#I love how I wrote the most poetic bullshit imaginable#Probably made you tear up on the inside#But at the end I turn into a poem about how much I love Blitz#why am i like this#I just love Blitz so much ahaha#I need help#Probably therapy or an intervention#Or maybe more Blitz#Yeah if I had to choose between therapy or Blitz#I choose Blitz#Also Blitz needs therapy more than I do#If Blitz was real I would open up a GoFundMe for him to get him some serious therapy#And I have a feeling a lot of people would donate to it#If someone actually read this post and these tags till the very end...#What does that say about you?#Jk you're awesome for reading this#Please don't hate me#Goddammit I'm not helping at all am I?#Im just yapping#Im in one of those moods#Helluva Boss#blitzo#blitz#stolas goetia#helluva millie#moxxie#loona#Octavia#fizzarolli#ro rambles
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I'm (not) sorry in advance for the feral Dragon Age posting that is about to happen over the next several months. Fall 2024 cannot come soon enough, I need to be able to shake the bald egg man ASAP
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dav#idk what abbreviation are we using for this#anyway SCREAMING#i am serious i want to shake solas like a rattle#my reasons veer wildly between urge to cause him bodily harm and urge to get him therapy#solas i love you i hate you you make me ANGY i will cry if anything happens to you#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON VARRIC#VARRIC BETTER COME OUT OF THIS ALIVE YOU HEAR ME#and im so excited to get attached to all these new characters I love them already#and the fact that we are STARTING with solas attempting the ritual and then THE THINGS COMING OUT WHEN IT IS DISRUPTED#IF THE RITUAL IS THE TUTORIAL SCENARIO THEN I AM VERY AFRAID FOR WHAT THE CLIMAX WILL BW#AHHHHHH
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the fact that riz worked so hard to keep straight A+ grades all year only in the matter of like, a week to complete two nigh impossible tasks to, essentially, ensure all that work didn't matter and ace his grades anyway would legitimately keep me up at night at his age. I hope he gets like, a fucking medal or something. or, yknow, more cash from the school. he deserves it
#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#like im so serious right now id lose my mind#the whole party deserve an award for putting all that work into academics and having it ultimately not matter anyway#but riz found the rogue teacher AND passed the last stand in the space of like a week and thats great and awesome for him but#i think id explode realising i spent all that time working for nothing basically#i gen thought murph was gonna make a joke about “riz takes another stress token” during aguefort's speech bc. i would#agueforts adventuring academy owes this boy therapy money i think
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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gncrezan get behind me the girlies CANNOT be normal about this poll 🤺🤺
LMFAOOOO i don't think i made clear enough that this poll is genuinely low stakes, i enjoy talking about it !!! and i like to see what others also think of the situation!! it's obviously a very complicated one which is why people are defending their takes in the tags (thanks everyone the 200 word tag thinkpiece is literally exactly what i wanted from this you've fallen into my trap)
if anything the poll has shown that sevenmancers are stronger than me. schrodinger's cat of a RO like you don't know if you've bagged them or not until you check the metaphorical bag
#does sev hate you? check the bag. oh does sev like you? check the bag! etc etc#also i dont dislike seven!!! i am a sevenologist !!!! i wrote a stupid ass textpost I CARE ABOUT THE SLOW BURN RECONCILIATION ETC !!!!#my mc just happens to be unwell and very undiagnosed and maybe if he'd taken his ass to therapy#instead of writing songs about it then i could conceivably see a happy end for aki and sev. but as they are now...#well. yeah.#ME ENJOYING THE TRAGEDY ASPECT IS JUST A SITUATIONAL THING. I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!#and sometimes a new normal even if its not perfect is a better end to the story than 'and then it was all okay!'#i am trying to play infamous dead serious like a dnd rules stickler i kind of want this playthough's ending to like#stay true to how my mc is. and that would mean an ending where there's closure but no closeness#but yeas. thank you anon for defending me#i don't think that people are necessarily mad or anything!! just cautious because of how the mc was like#seriously being mistreated at the start by the 'fans' where people would send anons like 'theyre less talented and boring' etc etc#untrue. skill issue. i want my infamous mc so bad i dream of him#here comes the most specialest mc in the world if everyone doesnt cheer and clap for them im blowing this place up#answered#anonymous
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okay it has been. Months. BUT i wanted to pop in since today is my birthday and let yall know how much i've appreciated the patience and kindness that's been shown to me this year 🫶 i am really proud of myself for getting here and i can only thank the wonderful people in my life for it 🤧 so lots of love from ME to all of you and also here's a picture of my fosters bc i Have been doing things in my absence
#*ajtxt#their names are fruitcake and moonpie and yes if you know me i Am bad allergic but its fine#more updates is i'm down to one therapy session a month and i'm now the office manager for my job. tho things are Real Slow rn#and ig i went blonde but it'll be blue. eventually. bc i dyed it blue in like september and decided thats my color#idk i'm just taking it day by day and its still not Easy but i'm starting to actually feel like myself again#which is again thanks to all the love and support 🫶 i love yall im so serious#im gonna try to post more in the new year just please continue to be patient w me#bc i missed out on SO much and its a little daunting#mwah
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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im perfectly medicated so why do I still get cold at night with the immense anxiety that he doesn't love me back
#barks#no amount of therapy has ever been able to help this#sometimes i wonder if im just not built for this#i wonder if i should just be alone forever and spare anyone the curse of living with me#im a great friend but when it gets more serious im deeply insecure and horrible to be with#i thought i had bpd for years bc of how crazy i can be#getting diagnosed with bipolar explained a lot but not everything#cptsd diagnosis explained even more#but there are still things about me i cant deal with or explain away#i often wonder if everyone would be better off if i was alone#anxiety makes me freezing shivering like i cant stand it#i used to take hot baths to deal with it but our bath tub sucks#it isnt ergonomic and the drain stopper broke and it doesnt drain properly so its perpetually dirty#im just suffering here#i think i want to disappear#i just want things to be easier and they never will be
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that's enough projecting for one night maybe one day i will. elaborate on my ideas but also sometimes it's just enough to make angst about it instead.
#ggp#unrelated its not that serious i gotta get back to my therapist#i say this not bc i am traumatized but bc my coping mechanism has been.#you there. fictional man. bear the weight of my mental illness.#and i mean its been WORKING but like. should probably talk to a person.#a new person soon. hopefully. eesh.#god i hate COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY. SHUT IT. anyways cbt-#god its just like. so how are you feeling. and then im like this is how im feeling and shes like okay :)#and then... nothing. woosh. i just complain about my life for half an hour and thats it like#i can do that for free.#clearly
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does anyone have any advice on how to feel alive again
#me @ me: no one cares#sorry to keep depression posting i just dont know what to do#its hard to stay positive when everything feels so fucking bad all the time#covid shit is stressing me out. election shit sucks so bad. my health is bad my mental illnesses are mental illnessing#and if one more person at my stupid fucking job makes a fucking comment about my fucking mask im actually going to start killing#im so serious. i really cant do this anymore#why dont people care about other people it makes no sense#why are people so fucking horrible to each other. everything is so fucking horrible#one of my coworkers literally right now has covid and on our zoom call he was like well the vaccine wouldnt have done anything anyways#are you sure about that??? because you sound like you cant fucking breathe#idk i just feel hopeless and bitter and exhausted and like nothing will ever be okay ever again. and im At Work.#how are you supposed to combat this. what are you supposed to do.#no amount of cognitive fucking behavioral therapy is going to fix the fascism or the climate change or the pandemic or the or the or the#like literally why bother. it doesn't matter nothing matters!#i just want to go home#but then when i get home im like fuck. i really want to go home.
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may or may not break a personal record of shit exam performance today but it doesn't matter because i am mentally still watching casey perform little bird and getting close to tears
#that line of#our hearts lay on the bedroom floor#and one was mine but both were yours#GOD#i didn't know any lyrics before last night but that one stuck with me#he was so clear and his voice was incredible#on a serious note i'm so glad i went because it put some things into perspective#i don't even have to take this exam to continue with my degree but the fear of it has been consuming me for so long#maybe doing something stupid (going to london the day before) was like exposure therapy of#not letting it take over my life#im rambling kjdhcbjsd i'm so tired and i need to study for 3 hours until i have to leave the house bye#heavy music awards#casey
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sometimes i think about the way i allocated yaevinn stats and also the fact that he's a fucking death machine in a flower crown
#; tales from the continent#; this bard needs therapy#i am so serious when i say i was fully ready for yaevinn to be USELESS in combat#i was out here like “hehe i put some points in archery so im not totally useless but it's probably still not great sorry guys”#but NO#he's not a harbinger of misfortune he's an ARBITER OF LIFE AND DEATH#and he's just a little guy! he is JUST a little guy#and he will fucking GET you#oh also#; the citrus speaks#me when i make a text post and don't tag it
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