#im screaming this took so long aaaaa

[zoombiezoom]

Haha remember when I said I would post a character everyday?? Anyone remember that?

So... That's not happening.

HOWEVER!

I plan on posting the more detailed versions like these weekly. Mostly because I spend actual days on this, and I wanna shove details on details into them.

[sillyblues]

the ocean and the wind. (7)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis: tonowari is the ocean and ronal is the wind. where does it leave you?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ notes: another late update again aaaaa our finals is so near i am shaking sobbing screaming!! as an apology there will be like mini extras after this so stay tuned for that also what the hell this is literally the final part of totw. my first fic and baby is ending. oh my god. i have written so much in this fic compared to my writing club lmao. whats your fave part and line?? i love them all but mine is lowkey part 3 because that's the start of misunderstandings and pain i love it. tell me ur thoughts and dont forget ily all. thank you so much for the huge support for this fic im so grateful to all of you JKSDGDISKJBDS :(((

part 1 ✩ part 2 ✩ part 3 ✩ part 4 ✩ part 5 ✩ part 6

Ronal knew guilt. Guilt introduced itself to her when she made a young boy cry and it never left her side ever since. She also learned helplessness. Helplessness hugged her from behind when she overheard her parents' worries for her, and it never took its arms away ever since. Hopelessness intertwined its own with her fingers when the friends she made after a long time got upset at her and it never took its arms away ever since.

But you came along and gently pried the sticky and murky darkness that eroded her and rendered her incapable of feeling more. You took her out from their figures and suddenly, she met joy. Joy chuckled along with her with your ridiculous banter with Tonowari. Faith introduced itself to her when she found herself talking with you and Tonowari and a couple of other friends. She learned of love from you, a beautiful and gentle breeze of air, and found one with Tonowari.

Then, your sudden disappearance came and the blues came back and turned into raging winds that wanted to sweep her away. But she held on tight to the joy of the memories with you. She held on tight to the faith that you gave her. She held on tight to the love that formed out for and from you.

But, she has never known anger. She never knew about the red that blinds her and the rage that boils within her veins. She never knew about the wrath that forms a hurricane and wants to destroy everything in its path. She never knew about the madness that wakes a typhoon that thirsts for violence and ruin. Not until now when she sees you in tears on the ground in the beach side with some wretched creatures laughing and looking down on you.

How dare you. How dare you.

“What is this?” a voice booms from behind her, low and deep, and Ronal did not need to look behind to see who it was. The girls look at her and Tonowari behind her. They let out grating giggles and she snarls, hissing at the sound.

“I said,” his voice thunders and the loudness attracted the attention of the others as they stopped to look at the situation, but Ronal paid no heed to them. “What is this?” 

She did not know what to look at, the girls who dared to make you cry or you who is sobbing so painfully that she herself wants to cry with you. The anguish she holds for you, the pain each drop of your tears increases she feels for you overpower the unfamiliar terrifying storm that makes her want to shout at the short-haired girl that finally stopped their useless giggling. So she hurriedly comes over to you and embraces you in her arms. 

“[Name]...”

“No, please let me go…” she feels you struggling, trying to hit and push her away but she knows—desperately hopes—you do not even hold an inch of intention to be away from her as she did when you tried to calm her down when she first met you. She lets you and did not let you go, not even soften her embrace on you just once.

She leaned close to you and perhaps Eywa heard her prayers but she felt relief when you finally understood that she wants to protect and help you this time. But a huge part of her hurts in the way, you cover your face into the crook of her neck and your sobs are muffled against her skin. The wetness of her shoulder brings over a hot air that wants to melt one of the girls who dared to make you cry which she finally recognizes. Letsakx.

“What’s wrong, Tonowari? I was just telling her how you two did not need her anymore,” her thin voice said in a disgusting sickly tone, “How you are to be mated before Eywa soon enough and lead the clan together. Without her.”

She batted her eyelashes at Tonowari like a blind snake that wiggles its body to attract a mate. Disgusting. She looks at Tonowari who clearly has the same thing in his mind. His jaw clenches and his fist tightens, his eyes as still as the calm before the storm.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Tonowari? Aren’t I right?” she condescendingly giggles once more, “Don’t be shy, tell her the truth. She’s just a plaything you’ve gotten tired of when Ronal entered your life��”

Ronal snarls at her. “Shut your mouth! You do not know anything! How dare you run off your useless mouth with such lies!”

“Or what? What would you do?” the vile wench scoffed at her, “Besides, everyone knows, everyone knows Tonowari wants to mate with you. Not poor little useless [Name] who has been with him for so long and still couldn’t have him. I wonder what you have that she, a long-time friend of his, doesn’t? What everyone else doesn’t?”

Amidst her anger, Ronal could care less what she’s insinuating. She could not give a single piece of her mind what interesting choice words she says to insult her. Perhaps, if the past version of Ronal was the one standing as of now, she is sure it would affect her and destroy what little of care she has for herself left. But she is not the old her now. The one in front of her that stands in front of everyone is the Ronal of the present, the one who has changed and will continue to change. So no, whatever slander the unblessed by Eywa herself says about her does not offend her.

But it is entirely a different matter when it is you who she dares to commit such blasphemy and disrespect. It is a different matter when you, Eywa’s blessed child of love and joy, are reduced to sorrow and grief. You, who are full of smiles and everything nice of this world, are reduced to tears and sobs.

Ronal can feel your breath hitch at Letsakx’s words and you go limp in her arms like you had given up on everything. Like you had given up on the love that she and Tonowari have for you but you do not feel. Like you had given up on the way she and Tonowari see you but you do not see.

No. No. Nononono—

“[Name]... no, no, don’t believe anything she says. I see you. He sees you.” Ronal pleads with you as she gently lowers herself and you to the sand. She rocks your body gently and caresses the wet hair that is stuck to your face from your tears. She finally sees your eyes and oh—you’re gone. Your eyes are glossy but they do not shine anymore. You don’t even look at her. You don’t see her. You don’t see them.

“[Name]...” She chokes out a sob and she’s helpless in the storm that harshly scratches her skin. The wind has become blades that tear whatever is left of her heart and dried her blood dry.

“Hahaha! How pathetic! Is it your tears that seduced our future Olo’eyktan? I can’t believe a tramp like you has—”

“Take my mates’ name out of your mouth.” Tonowari’s deep voice permeates the whole island and suddenly everything stops. The murmurs and the hushed whispers of the onlookers, the giggling of the girls who managed to kill her life and love, the whiffs of the winds, the waves of the ocean. It all stops.

Ronal looks at Tonowari who stands in front of the both of them. She can only see his back, his figure towering over the other girls. Letsakx’s arm is held by him, and she could see the fear and confusion creeping onto her and leaving her legs slightly trembling.

“W-What? Let me go—”

“My mate had told you to shut your mouth but you did not, did you?” his grip tightens, his veins becoming more prominent and his muscles tensing, and she struggles as her arm turns purple.

Ronal purses her lips and let her tears fall. Despite the pain in her heart, she feels warm. She feels loved. She feels seen. Tonowari is a blessing and you are her miracle. Really, it hurts how fate won’t let her live peacefully and contented. She silently grieves over the lost future she dreams of with you and him.

“You are our soon-to-be Olo’eyktan! I am one of your people, you cannot do this to me!” She shouts at him but panic can be easily heard from her voice. Tonowari is silent and she takes this as him contemplating her words as she continued as arrogance comes back as she believes her delusions, “You cannot hurt me. You can only serve me as our Olo’eyktan.”

“And as your future Olo’eyktan, you should have known better than to insult my chosen mates,” his voice is thick, full of calm yet venomous wrath that threatens to break the weak constraints of his patience, “and to insult my mates is to insult me.”

He pushes her away with force to her group of friends and did not care that she fell. She starts to sob and Ronal can only grit her teeth. Forgiveness was a lesson she had to learn by herself. She learned to forgive the parents of the boy who hated her and humiliated her without them asking to. She learned to forgive her friends who blamed her for something she never really intended to make them feel without asking to. She learned to forgive herself for the faults she committed and learned how to grow stronger and mature.

But she does not think she can forgive Letsakx for what she has done. To you. To Tonowari. To herself.

“This is a warning to each and every one of you. Touch them again, hurt them again, and I will not hesitate to show you what your soon Olo’eyktan’s wrath is.” He glowers at them and the people kneel at him. They bow their heads showing their alliance to their leader.

Ronal looks at you once more and finds you looking at the setting sun on the ocean. The golden rays glisten so beautifully on your skin. The wind sways your hair, it whispers out to you,  and the waves try their hardest to reach out to you and call out your name.

He comes back to both of you. She looks at him and tells him with her eyes to take her and you away from this mess. Tears slip out and he sends her a smile that hides the same pain she feels, but she sees through him. She sees him. She sees you close your eyes.

Tonowari carries the both of you in each of his arms and into the inner island where no one would come to disturb nor dare to hurt each of you again.

.

.

.

“Take my mates’ name out of your mouth.” Tonowari’s words still ring through your head over and over again. Mates? The sinful part of you, the greedy little thing desperately hopes what he said is true. That he considered you to be truly his mate. But you know better. You learned better. Tonowari is a kind man. Very, very kind that he would put anybody else first before himself. He is putting you first despite what anyone will say to him because he is kind.

Ronal’s warmth encases you and the green monster wishes to be buried hidden beneath her loving embrace. But you know better. You learned better. She is a thoughtful woman. She cares about others first, most of the time overlooking what she thinks and feels. She cares for you first despite what anyone will say to her because she is thoughtful.

They only protected you back then because they are kind and they care for you. Because you are their friend. And as a friend, you should thank them for defending you and offer your congratulations for their bonding. 

But you can’t open your mouth. The words are stuck in your throat, it encloses and constricts what you want to say and you find yourself feeling so stupid and pathetic all over again.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it now,” Tonowari says suddenly. He carried you and Ronal into the inner parts of the island. The creek where you first met Ronal. The creek where you witnessed the love they had for each other and left none for you. He placed you both on the grass nearby the streaming water and sat close to you. “Please.”

“Please see us,” Ronal takes your hands and you look at her.

“I do.”

“But you don’t.” Tonowari leans his forehead against your temple as he pleads with you. You frown. How could he say that? How could he? You try to withdraw your hands and you leaned back away from him. They look at you with so much hurt in their eyes but they still don’t let go of you. It pains you to see them like this but you swallowed it down.

“I don’t? What do you mean? I see you two. Eywa knows how much I look at you and how much it hurts me. She knows how I desperately beg for her forgiveness because I shouldn’t be hurting. I should be happy for both of you, you two who are so in love with each other. I should be happy for both of you because I am your friend!” like the creek that trickles continuously nearby you, your tears flow down endlessly, “But I’m not. Seeing you two hurts me.”

You tilt your head and close your eyes. It’s odd. You don’t even dare to say what you feel out loud to yourself, much less even think about telling them both. But you did. The suffocating and heavy weight that kills you inside is finally out in the open. You scoff inwardly. You guess it won’t be too long till they would shun you out for daring to disturb their love.

You were alright with being just their friend. You accepted and settled just for that so that you wouldn’t ruin anything. Why… Why did you have to push me like this?

“Do you love us?” Ronal’s trembling voice made you open your eyes. You look at her, with your hands in her tight grip, not leaving you any chance to turn them away. You take in her beauty which made it irresistible for you to say the truth.

“Yes. I love you two so much.” You breathe out. 

“Tell us how much you want us. Let us understand you. Let us see you.”  She crawls towards you until you back away. But you can only move so much until your back hits Tonowari’s chest. She sits so close to you, only a breath away from each other. His arms snake around your waist and you feel your breath hitch. Like a captivated Na’vi who fell victim to the storm that brew in their eyes, you let the wind and the ocean drift you away.

“I want you. I want you two so bad it hurts. You are my source of greed. My selfishness.” Your hand is placed on Ronal’s cheek by herself and you caress it. Her eyes look at you with so much wonder and love. They are so full of life and you find yourself looking at your reflection in them. “You are my prayers to Eywa.”

Tonowari rubs his head against yours and he kisses the temple of your forehead and it takes all of you to not melt underneath his warmth.

“But you two are made for each other. Tonowari, you are mighty and strong like the ocean. You have what it takes to be our Olo’eyktan. Ronal, you are as gentle but as powerful as the wind. You have what it takes to Tsahik. You even proved it once more a while ago, you can make quite the storm together,” you lightly chuckle with a sense of pride and bitterness.

“But between the two of you, there is no place for me,” you smile painfully, “So let me go. Leave me with the sins of being greedy and selfish to both of you. Leave me and go forward with each other.”

“You said you see us. But you’re wrong.” Tonowari suddenly says against your skin. You shiver at his breath. You look at him questioningly. He looks at you, his blue eyes are deep with emotions you find yourself drowning in.

“If you do, then you should have known how we long for you as well. How we want you so bad. How we want you to be with us. Together.”  Ronal rests her head on the other side of your shoulder.

“If you do, then you should have known how greedy and selfish we are as well for you. Be greedy with me. With Ronal. Be selfish with us and let us be the same with you.” Their words make you widen your eyes. Shock leaves you speechless and their confession leaves you breathless.

“You say we are the ocean and the wind, but you are the life. You are the gleaming plants and the flora the wind dances with. You are the glowing lights underneath the ocean it flows with. You are the direction that guides the wind. You are the water that makes the ocean.”

“We might be the ocean and the wind, but without you, there is nothing of us.”

Suddenly, you are aware of the way they look at you. The way they touch you. The way they are so close to you.

“Do you hear the ocean and the wind that has been longing for you and calling out your name for so long?”

“Do you see us now?”

With more tears not out of sadness, but surprise and tenderness, flow out once more, you chuckle hoarsely. You finally rest against Tonowari and fully embrace Ronal. You close your eyes. You hear the waves of the ocean from the distance and feel the breeze of the wind. You open your eyes and look at them.

“I see you.”

series-taglist: (tumblr won't let me tag some blogs so if you changed your username, please lmk!) @totesnothere04 @ducks118 @narutoboi @yeosxxx @fanboyluvr @ladylovegood-69 @northsoulss @thatfictionalwh0re @ghostlyworld @toodaloo432 @lovefromjazzy @greendino7 @neteyamforlife @vermilionzombie @vxncxntt @adaiasafira @tsuteysyawntu @mooniequeen @eywas-heir @arminsgfloll @dev1lm4n @myh3artttt @thehoneymushroomhealer @delightcandlelight @shadowmoonlight0604 @dae-dreamer @buttercup-beeee @ms5m1th @cryingwhilereading @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @manumanulau @ssc7514 @loveofvernonslife @cheolattes @bobaopal @riahpickle-blog

[lostgracestories]

Leaving this dream I had before going to school <3

Just mohg and morgott finally reuniting after so long.

They argued, screamed, cried and growled. It was hard, it was heart wrenching, it was sad. In the end, the emotions took over them and they simply hugged.

Suddenly, mohg has an idea. Taking far steps away from morgott, he looked around to see if everything was clear, his pupils squinted in a o so mischievous way. his brother watched him confused, but before he could ask him about his shenanigans, mohg came rushing towards him at great speed.

The omen closed his eye, expecting a crash, but instead was grabbed by the armpits. when he opened his eye, his feet dangling were above the ground.

He was flying. This was not normal.

Fear took over him as he debated himself in his brother’s grip, but Mohg reassured him, telling him to calm down and simply enjoy.

They were flying above the Altus Plateau, above all the land morgott had already explored, the grass moving at the rythm of the wind, and the sea glittering as the sun set to the horizon.

It was breathtaking.

And for a moment, it was as if time had stopped. There was no women King, No Lord of Blood, no Demigods at this very instant, just two newly reunited brothers, flying over the land and the sea under the warm setting sun of the evening.

STOP IT THIS IS SO CUTE AND SAD AND AND AAAAA IM SOBBING SKGHAGEOTJGNSF

[whoaaaoaoo]

more rambling abt conan gray bc found heaven on tour was absolutely amazing - this is still somehow not all my thoughts - long ish post

was listening to the track list today - after the show obv, bc it was a couple days ago - and first of all the vocal difference from kid krow specifically to now is so cool actually like maniac and heather jejdnejdjsnsnsnsns - ALSOo ALL THE SONGS SOUNDED SO MUCH BETTER LIVE (THEY ARE ALREADY AMAZING AND PERFECT AND MWAH SO YOU CANT EVEN IMAGINE LIVE) AND I STILL CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE FACT I WAS THERE AND HE ACTUALLY SANG THE SONGS LIVE I WAS THERE HWBEHWHSNSJ AND IN THE SMALLEST VENUE OF THE TOUR? KILL ME. THE ENERGY IN THERE WAS GREAT, SHOUTOUT TO JIGSAW BOURGEOISIES MANIAC HEATHER HOLIDAYS (UNRELEASED) ALLEY ROSE AND YK THE ENTIRE FUCKING TRACKLIST YOU ARE THE SONGS EVER

tbh the songs (like on spotify) sound so sad but live it’s crazy bc you can tell is just so much emotion, it’s loud and it’s every emotion ever LIKE UGH IT WAS SUCH AN EXPIERANCE

also the fact that I was on center floor AND DURING ALLEY ROSE IT LOOKS LIKE HES POINTING. AT. ME. (ik he’s not I’m not that parasocial) AND HE ALSO PLAYED AN UNRELEASED SONG SJJSJSNSJSNZKAK

ALSO THE JOKES AND TALKING BITS? HES LITERALLY ME. ME FR. “give your friend a hug bc yoU NeVER KNOW WHEN THEYLL BETRAY YOU” SCREAMING. I TOOK A SHIT TON OF CONFETTI. DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE LIVE VOCALS AAAAA TY CONAN IT WAS WORTH THE TRAVEL TIME AND THE COST AND EVERYTHING PLS DO ANOTHER SHOW THERE NEXT TOUR OMGGGGG IM SO HAPPY certain familial (family line????? gasp) events LINED UP SO I COULD GO 🙏🙏🙏🙏

this was me IF YOU EVEN CARE:

[httpiastri]

hi! umm so i need kinda of an advice if you don’t mind of course. so i’m soon going to a gp soon…any advice on how i can approach the drivers? i just feel very awkward and never seem to have the courage to do so.. yeah…if you’ll answer, thanks in advance ❤️!

hi love !! of course i dont mind <33

(gonna assume you mean f2/3 drivers bcs i have nooo idea about f1 aaaaa !!!) honestly i think im probably one of the worst people to ask because i genuinely have no idea how to do it best 😭 i "only" managed to talk to two drivers all weekend in spa despite being in the paddock because i was so so nervous and anxious.... butttt i think my main advice would be like... just be respectful and happy because they are going to be really happy too !! idk who your faves are but all drivers i saw interact with fans were really sweet, and i mean they aren't f1 drivers yet so they are happy every time someone recognizes them. and kinda on that note, i think a good conversation starter is maybe having a little gift for them (like a bracelet, some candy, a note, etc.) to show that you actually care about them as an individual and not just "ah this is some random driver, let's take a pic in case you become a superstar one day". (that really helped me with pepe !!!)

and i mean i was sooo nervous that i knew i was just going to black out in the moment if i hadn't prepared properly, so i even had like conversation starters planned out with the different drivers in case i were to find a situation to talk to them? with paul i wanted to ask a certain thing, i wanted to talk to luke about screaming meals, ask gabriel about clem's portugese, and so on... i was rehearsing my script for my chat with pepe like 100 times in my head the entire weekend 😭 idk that helped me a lot and i would definitely recommend it if you want to make the situation a bit more comfortable in some way? and it doesn't have to be big, it can be just a simple question about their pet or if they enjoyed their summer break or like "i really liked your race in xxx!" :)

what i did for pepe was just honestly wait a really long time (from afar) and just took the chance when i got it... and it was totally worth it because he made me feel so happy about the whole experience, he was a true sweetheart and gentleman, and i think most drivers would be like that !!!!

(oh and if possible, try to catch them before quali because after that and after the races, they can be upset about results... in the beginning of the weekend, everyone's just excited and optimistic so i think they'll be more open then!)

[luisthefool]

Learning 'No'

Eddie Gluskin x OC (Bunny)

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'No', such a simple word yet one so hard to understand for one such as Eddie. How could anyone...especially his Darling wife Bunny ever tell him no? She was his wife, his bride. Ever since she said 'I do' she belonged to him....right?

Yet she fought like a feral animal whenever he overstepped a boundry. She would yell and fight until he gave up and let her have some space...and no amount of cuddles, kisses and gifts would make her happy until she had calmed down.

This was one of those days, yesterday he had fought with her over something trivial in his mind. He had just wanted her to clean the entire basement again after he had scared away an intruder and made a mess! It was a simple request and she should have said yes, like a good wife. Instead she had said no and continued cooking, which started the hours long argument.

After not being able to get his way he had stormed over to his workshop and made a sloppy 'shirt' before tossing it away.

His clothes were sticky with drying blood and grime, things that she should have washed without question! Instead she was being a brat.. talking back and refusing him! Who did she think she was?!

With an angry sigh he stepped out of the workshop and stormed to the kitchen, finding bunny eating the now warm canned soup with a solemn expression.

"...Dinner's ready.... Eat if you want.."

She didnt even look at him as she spoke, simply passing him a bowl and continuing to eat. This only made him angrier....it took everything in him no to discipline her right then and there.

"...Why, why must you act like an ungratefull brat!? Like all those whores out there! I though i married a good girl... Not some.. ungrateful slut!"

He yelled out, slamming the table with his hands as he loomed over her tired body. She mearly flinched and looked up at him, her normally happy face tired and frustrated.

"....I spent all day cleaning....I finished all my chores..Its not my fault the chase got messy... Blame that man for breaking into our home...."

That nearly made him snap, but she cut him off before he could yell at her.

"..I... I nees to rest. My back hurts like hell... You know this... I told you this... Several times today! I'll do it later, tomorrow morning maybe, but i cant do it now.."

She said as she stood up, gently pressing her forehead to his as he processed her words.

".... Just...stop yelling... Please...i hate it when you yell..."

Her quiet voice tugged at the lucid side of him. She was right, she had spent the day cleaning, scrubbing the floor of his workshop until the rag she was using was dripping red.

He wasnt so mad about the lack of cleaning as he was about her telling him 'no', her refusing to do as he commanded. But deep down, all through the madness and delusions he loved her to bits and knew she had a point, a much as the other side of him wanted to 'put her in her place' so to speak.

Maybe he should cut her some slack this time....

With a sigh he gently patted her head, he wanted to yell and scream and demand, but there was no use in it, no use in pushing her to exaughstion when it wasnt even her fault the house was dirty again.

"..Fine! tomorrow then. You should have told me why you couldnt clean, Darling. Ill get you something for your back too, no use in having you in pain."

Bunny smiled weakly, giving a tender kiss to his scabbed face. She was surprised that he had accepted this so quickly, having prepared herself for another argument.. but maybe he was changing.

Maybe love can change actually a person?

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Aaaaa im kinda happy with now this turned out. Its not cannon Eddie but shut let me have this. I dont know if its fluff or angst or what but im happy, its been a while since ive written anything :(.

[potatonugget7]

OH MY GODS- THEY WERE ROOMMATES?!

Hello! I originally posted this to AO3 but I decided I’m going to post my GT fics on tumblr too, this is kinda old so the writing is worse than my present-time writing. I had to reformat this whole thing when pasting into tumblur aaaaa why???

TWs: Fear of Death. 4k words.

Tubbo and Ranboo are soulmates- however, this is not normal, seeing as Tubbo is a borrower and Ranboo is a human- that’s not how it’s supposed to work! Universe, what’s this cross-species bullshit?

---

---

Soulmates; for some they’re lovers, for some they’re best friends. Either way they are meant to be inseparable pairs. Everyone’s got one; that one person with whom you’re supposed to spend your life with.

They’re tied together with a metaphorical string, fate pulling them closer and closer together until the day they finally meet. Both bear matching marks on their wrists and have the ability to message each other by writing on their arm.

 Ranboo slowly made his way up the stairs, yawning as he walked. He’d just gotten home from volleyball and as a result, he was exhausted. It was then that he felt the familiar tingling sensation across his skin. He paused mid-step and looked down at his arm. Seeing a message from his soulmate; Tubbo. Though- when he read it he became confused and worried.

“Ranbuu this is goodbya”  he stared at his arm, his confusion growing. He wasn’t sure if Tubbo was being serious, but from the look of the writing itself, it seemed as if it had been written with a shaky hand.

“What do you mean? Are you okay??”  he wrote back quickly.

“I think Im ganna die”  he blinked at the message. Why was he telling him this and not like- the police?? Or calling an ambulance??

“What? Why?? What’s going on??” there was a long pause before he got the next message.

“Soo you now wan I ask you erlyer if climin a light was a good idae?”  he let out a groan and continued his trek up the stairs. What reckless thing was Tubbo doing this time..?  

“Oh Prime Tubbo...” Ranboo reached the top of the stairs and approached his bedroom door. He then felt the tingling again and looked down, pausing.

“I am now hang upsidedown from that light” he facepalmed.    

“Just why?” he reached his bedroom door and opened it- then he got another message.

“Well you see I was chring to get a good” it cut off mid-sentence. Ranboo gave his arm a worried look as he walked in and dropped his bag on the floor before flicking on the light switch-

"AHHHHHHHH" Ranboo stumbled backwards, seeing a spider hanging from the light.  Then the spider screamed. A very human-sounding scream. Wait- spiders don’t scream. He took a few steps closer again. Ranboo then realized it wasn’t a spider at all.  It was… a tiny person?? With brown hair and a green shirt. They were hanging from his bedroom light, by a string. Though, something felt familiar about them.

Wait a second...

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Tubbo let out a frustrated sigh. This was not how this run was supposed to go. He really should’ve listened to Ranboo’s advice about not using the light. Now he was stuck, hanging from the ceiling light of a human’s bedroom. Originally he figured he could use the light as a good vantage point but quickly realized he was wrong… and then he’d somehow managed to get the string tangled around his legs, leaving him hanging high above the ground. It wasn’t until he heard the front door open downstairs did the true gravity of the situation sink in. The loud yet distant slam sent his mind spiralling into panic.  The sound of the footsteps on the stairs echoed in his ears, haunting him. Judging by the pace of them it was probably Ranboo, home from ‘volt-ball' or whatever it was called.  Oh- but not to be confused with his soulmate Ranboo. They had the same name but this Ranboo was a human. And Tubbo had never heard of cross-species soulmates being a thing.

Right! Ranboo! 

Even if he managed to untangle himself he didn’t think he’d make it before the tall human reached the room. If he didn’t survive, he wanted to at least tell Ranboo what was going on.

"Ranbuu this is goodbya." he wrote shakily on his marked arm, cringing at how badly the shaking messed up his already shit handwriting.  The footsteps on the stairs paused. Perhaps he'd get to live another night? Ranboo’s response came quickly, looking panicked in its own way.

"What do you mean? Are you okay??” The footsteps continued.     

“I think Im ganna die”  he wrote, feeling tears stinging the back of his eyes, starting to pool up and spill out.

“What? Why?? What’s going on??” Ranboo’s message came almost immediately. He smiled sadly as more tears fell, blurring his vision a little. The human footsteps on the stairs hadn’t moved yet though… maybe he had time.    

“Soo you now wan I ask you erlyer if climin a light was a good idae?”  the footsteps continued, of course, they did. What cruel joke was this? He couldn’t help but get his hopes up with every pause but he just wanted it over quickly.

“Oh Prime Tubbo...” he could practically hear Ranboo facepalming, wherever he was. He would’ve liked to laugh, if he wasn’t in such a dangerous situation, he definitely would’ve. He… he would miss this, talking about dumb things like this with his best friend.

“I am now hang upsidedawn from that light” the tears made it increasingly difficult to write, the water was beginning to sting and he could barely focus on the writing now.  He would regret never getting to meet Ranboo. He’d heard that soulmates always met eventually, it was fate or something along those lines. What if he was just in the next house over?

“Just why?” 

Just why indeed? Why did he try something so stupid? It- it wasn’t      fair. He- he should’ve at least been given more time- to finish explaining- to apologise- something!

He wasn’t ready yet.

“Well you see I was chring to get a good” he froze mid writing as the door opened.  The footsteps stopped, right in the doorway.

So this is it- this is where it would all end. At least one person would know what happened to him… that was more than some people got from what he’d heard. But- t-that didn’t mean he accepted it- he- he wasn’t ready-

The human walked right in through the open door, oblivious to the poor borrower hanging from his light. He was even staring down at his own arm. He turned the light on and dropped his bag with a loud thud. Tubbo scrunched his eyes shut as he was momentarily blinded by the bright light. 

There was a moment of silence, Tubbo slowly opened his eyes again. Ranboo...- the other one, not his soulmate, was looking directly at him. However, before he could do anything, the human jumped backwards... and screamed.   

Tubbo screamed too. This went on for a minute or so before they both stopped and stared at each other. His expression was that of horror, while the human’s was a mixture of confusion and curiosity. There was an awkward silence before the human took a couple steps closer.     

Fuck- no no no no no- don’t come closer!

Tubbo tried swinging, but it did nothing except make him feel nauseated.    

Stupid useless rope.

He watched helplessly as the human stopped right in front of him, his bright red and green eyes burning a hole in Tubbo's head. But he thought he saw a spark of recognition.

"Tubbo…?" it came out as barely a whisper, but of course he heard it- hanging only inches from the human's face. Tubbo's Blood ran cold, he felt ready to faint- or maybe that was the blood rushing to his head from dangling upside-down so long. He opened his mouth to say something but immediately closed it. 

"Tubbo is that you??"  …     

Why did the human know his name? What the fuck universe?!   

"MaY-" he cleared his throat. "Maybe. So what if it is me? Who are you and how do you know my name?" he demanded with as much confidence as he could muster in his current situation. He'd say he was acting pretty brave- despite the fact that he was literally trembling.

"Um, because we're soulmates..? It's me; Ranboo." Tubbo glared at him, that made absolutely no sense. 

"Bullshit- how can you be my Ranboo? You're a human." the statement was bitter and sounded almost accusing.

"Um, I don't know? To be fair- I thought you were a human too though. Now I guess it makes more sense how you 'are hang from that light'." 'Ranboo'     chuckled. His glare hardened. Things were starting to add up- but they still didn't make sense! And Tubbo really didn't like that.

"Um. Okay- 'Ranboo' if you're really who you say you are…" he paused to think of something that there's no way a human would know.  "What's the name of the fox I tried to tame?" he'd told Ranboo the story about- 

"Squeaks, but I'm pretty sure you spelt it wrong." Tubbo huffed. That was right- exactly right. His gaze did not soften however. Unless… This human kidnapped Ranboo, stole his identity and forced the information out of him! He fully believed a human would do that. 

"That's true… but how do I know you didn't just kidnap the real Ranboo and make him tell you?" 'Ranboo' looked dumbfounded.

"Wha..?" 

"Well??" the human let out a sigh and buried his face in his hands. Tubbo would deny anyone who said he flinched at the movement. 

"First off- what would even be the point of that?" 'Ranboo' questioned. Tubbo didn’t exactly have a rational answer.

"Umm… because… you're a human?" 

"That's… probably racist and definitely not a good argument. But second, why do I look just like how 'the real Ranboo'-" he made quotation marks. "Is described in our messages?" Tubbo rolled his eyes. 

"Stop making sense." he grumbled as he crossed his arms. 'Ranboo' sighed before rolling up his sleeve and holding his arm up. Tubbo also didn't flinch at that.

"What about this?" he pointed to the now visible mark on his wrist. It was a picture of a bee and a weird eye-pearl thing. The same mark on Tubbo's wrist. Tubbo looked between his arm and Ranboo’s.       

"Hallo" he scribbled on his arm quickly before glancing at Ranboo’s arm. Sure enough, the scribbles had appeared. Man his handwriting looked like shit- how could Ranboo even read it?

Ranboo looked at the message on his arm before writing something on it himself. Immediately Tubbo felt the tingling again.     

"So does this work as proof?" Tubbo shot him an annoyed look.

"Okay fine- so you are the real Ranboo. Cool." he stated, his tone still bitter. 

"Yup." he replied, popping the p. 

"..."

"So uh... are you- do you want some help..?" the bi-haired human asked awkwardly. 

"No."  Ranboo raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" 

"I can do this myself." Tubbo practically hissed as he tried to grab the rope tied around his leg.

"I was just offering." Ranboo replied with a hint of exasperation. Tubbo narrowed his eyes. 

"Don't get sassy with me."   

"W- well I'm just- I'm just applying the same energy back to you."  Ranboo exclaimed. 

"...I'm going to skin you, and steal your organs." he replied in a tone just a touch too sweet. 

"Um- please no- I need those, to do a lot of things actually." the human took a step back and raised his hands in surrender.

Good, threats would work then.   

"Then go awayyyy."  Ranboo paused and gave him a confused look. 

"But this is my room? Wait, how did you even get in here in the first place?" he inquired, taking a step forward again.     

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

"Details, details." Tubbo muttered as he continued trying to grasp at the rope. The human watched on with a doubtful expression.

"So if you didn't know it was me. How did you find my house..?" 

"Well- fate is supposed to bring us together and stuff right? Blame that." the brunet snapped back quickly. 

"Tubbo, I know you're lying." 

"No you don't."  Ranboo sighed. 

"Well we can discuss that after you're not-... dangling from the light." 

"Sure thing bossman." Tubbo stated sarcastically.

---

Ranboo walked over to his desk and opened the drawer that held his art supplies and writing utensils. 

"What are you doing?" Tubbo called from behind him. The bi-haired teen sighed in response. 

"I'm going to get you down." he stated as he pulled out a pair of safety scissors.

"I told you I can get down myself!" the brunet fumed. 

"Well you're taking too long…" Ranboo replied as he walked back over to where Tubbo was dangling, pair of scissors in hand. He didn’t miss how the brunet seemed to tense up, his gaze flickering nervously between Ranboo’s face and the scissors in his hand. 

“What part of ‘I can get down myself’ do you not get??” Tubbo demanded. The bi-haired teen rolled his eyes in response before carefully cupping his left hand around the little ‘human’.  It felt so weird- to hold an entire person in one hand, unnerving almost. Tubbo felt so light- and… fragile, like he might just snap in half at any given moment. That would not be very good.

His anxiety was starting to seep into his mind, whispering to him all the things that could go wrong. Suddenly Ranboo was nervous to be near his friend.

One wrong move and-   

A sharp prick at the base of his thumb brought him back to reality. He let out a pained wince and brought his thumb to his mouth.

"What was that for?? I'm just trying to help!

"And I told you I don't want your help." Tubbo stated, matter o’ factly as he brandished what looked like… a miniature knife? Who thought it was a good idea to give Tubbo of all people a knife?!   

"You didn't have to stab me!" 

"Oh stop being such a baby. You're fine."  Ranboo made a grumbling noise before promptly plucking the knife from Tubbo's grasp. 

"H-hey!" 

"You can have it back in a minute, jeez." he said as he pocketed the knife. 

"No- give it back n-now!" the brunet demanded and Ranboo rolled his eyes. He carefully cut the string and started trying to untangle it from Tubbo's legs, only for him to slap Ranboo's fingers away- er, tried to. The bi-haired teen frowned.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" he asked, pulling his other hand away. 

"I'm not s-stubborn! I just don't need your help and you i-insist on giving it to me anyway!" Tubbo yelled as he easily untangled the rope. 

"Well I-"     

"And! Your fingers are too big anyway!"  Ranboo's frown deepened. 

"Sorry…" he pulled the knife out of his pocket again and handed it to Tubbo. The brunet quickly snatched it back, giving him a glare. 

"You better be- you wrecked my rope!" he fumed, motioning to the string still hanging from the light. 

"Uhhh… do you want me to get it down for you or-"  Tubbo's glare darkened.

"...Why are you so against my help?" he held the brunet up, closer to his face.

"B-because! I can do it myself." Tubbo reiterated for what had to be the fifth time today. Ranboo sighed in response. 

"I know, it's just-" 

"It's just what?! You think I can't do anything because I'm smaller than you?!" the brunet cut him off. Ranboo opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he noticed something. Tubbo was shaking, trembling even. Something in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t from temperature. His friend was scared. Now that he had a closer look, he could see it in Tubbo's eyes, the thinly masked fear in his otherwise seemingly hostile expression. His body language was completely closed with his arms crossed over his chest, hiding how they shook slightly. Tubbo wasn't being aggressive because he was mad, it was a defense mechanism.

He needed to feel some sense of control in this otherwise terrifying situation.  Ranboo was so worried about how easily he could hurt him, he couldn't even imagine how Tubbo must be feeling. After all… he was already freakishly tall by human standards, he must look like a monster.

He took a deep shaky breath before he started walking over to the desk, nearly missing the quiet 'eep' Tubbo made when he started moving

"I know you don't need help Tubbo. I wasn't trying to say you do." 

"W-well then-" 

"I was just offering my help because I scared you and I want to try and make it up to you..." Ranboo finished before carefully slipping the brunet onto the desktop. Tubbo went quiet, slowly standing up on the desk. His stance relaxed a little, however, he still held his arm, rubbing it awkwardly with the other. The bi-haired teen crouched down so as to not appear so tall. 

"I'm sorry…"

"And… you mean it?"  Ranboo nodded sincerely. 

"Alright… I-I guess I forgive you then." Tubbo stated slowly, avoiding Ranboo’s gaze. The bi-haired teen smiled in response 

"Thanks." 

---

"Yeah yeah- so are you going to leave me alone now?" Tubbo asked shortly, shuffling his feet. He still didn't look up at Ranboo. He needed to go home, process all of- this, and decide what to do next. Oh- and he had a headache. However when he saw Ranboo's face fall, he mentally groaned. 

"But… this is- this is our first meeting…" Tubbo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Maybe he was being a little insensitive, but he honestly couldn’t care less at the moment. Sure, meeting your soulmate for the first time was supposed to be special- and exciting.  But the pairs who those ideas came from probably weren't two different species who basically hated each other for existing. And hey, maybe if his soulmate was another borrower, Tubbo would be excited-      ecstatic even, but he wasn't. He couldn’t help but feel anxious.

"Yeah… and we had the meeting, now I want to go home." Tubbo snapped, earning a hurt look from his soulmate. He sighed and took a deep breath. 

"Look Ranboo- I'm sorry this isn't going as well as we would've hoped. But I- I can't do this right now okay?" he clenched his fists, digging his uneven nails into his palms.  The human opened his mouth to say something but Tubbo cut him off. 

"It's not you, alright?"  Ranboo nodded, the disappointment evident on his face. Tubbo couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. After all, it really wasn't his soulmate's fault.  He grew up in a society where certain things were to be expected, and his soulmate being- smaller than his hand was not one of those expectations. There were probably a lot of things they'd never get to do together- that both of them had been excited about.  In all honesty, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to stay here. The rules said he had to move, but did that rule apply if the human that had caught him was his soulmate? Tubbo didn’t know- because this was something that never fucking happens!   

"-ubbo?" a thump landed next to him and Tubbo jumped, letting out a surprise 'eek' sound. He looked to the side and realised it was Ranboo tapping his finger on the desk. 

"Sorry- you um, you were kind of zoning out so…" the bi-haired human trailed off, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. 

"Okay- um, this has been… an experience to say the least. A-and you're right. This is your room- so I'll just be on my way. See you bossman." the borrower started walking across the desk, aware of his soulmate's gaze following him. Tubbo reached for his rope once he got to the edge- only to find it wasn't all there. He tensed up and felt panic rising in his chest.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck- right it was broken because        someone         cut it in        half.

"Um, are you okay?" Ranboo asked hesitantly. He nodded quickly. 

"Mhm." Tubbo hesitantly leaned over the edge, only to scrambled back as he was hit with a strong sense of vertigo. 

"A-are you sure..?"  The brunet slowly looked up at his soulmate with a fake     cheery smile.

"Ranboo, would I lie to you?" he asked sweetly. 

"Um… yes?" Tubbo gave him a deadpan stare. 

"What?? You're the type to take the last poptart and then not tell anyone!" Ranboo exclaimed in an exasperated tone.     

A what?

"But why would I take your 'poptart'?" he made quotation marks. 

"No- I- uh- nevermind… I was just trying to use it as an example." 

"I don't know what a poptart is." 

"Well it's like- it's a pastry…- wait maybe it's a cake? Uh- okay it's a sweet food that has icing and filling."  Tubbo mulled over the explanation before it clicked. Oh- that's what those were called. Well shit- he was a pop tart taker.

"Oh. Uh- anyway, I'm going to go, but um… I may need- a-a little help." he stated hesitantly, fidgeting with his hands.  Ranboo perked up. 

"Oh- uh, what do you need help with?"

"A couple things…" he kicked the scuffs of his shoe on the desktop.

"Mhhhmmm?" 

"Could you uh, get the other half of my rope and help me down..?" the brunet asked slowly.  Ranboo nodded vigorously. 

"Y-yeah! Sure um- here." Tubbo took a nervous step back as the human's hand landed in front of him with a quiet thud. 

"What um, what're you doing..?" he questioned, and the bi-haired teen looked confused too. 

"Helping you down..?" 

"Oh." yeah, he should've expected that.

"Right, um… okay…" he hesitantly climbed on. It felt so weird as he pressed his hands against it, he could feel all the little lines drawn across it. It was leathery, but it was also squishy and warm. Tubbo carefully stood up on the uneven surface with a little difficulty.

"You um, you ready?" Ranboo asked, carefully moving his other hand behind the brunet who nodded. Tubbo let out a small 'woah' as his friend stood. He crouched down, worried he would fall otherwise. The brunet didn't dare look over the edge, knowing it would be a one way trip if he leaned too far. Time seemed to slow down as Ranboo trekked across the room. It was quiet other than the thud of his footsteps against the wooden floor. As they got closer to the dangling rope, Tubbo realised something. Well, not realised, he always knew. But now it was like- he understood. Ranboo was really fucking tall. There was no doubt in Tubbo's mind that the bi-haired human could reach the ceiling light without effort. And he was almost instantly proven right. Ranboo easily reached up and pulled his hook down before handing it to the brunet. 

"Here you go." he gave Tubbo a small smile. 

"Ranboo, how are you so tall?"  Tubbo took the hook and line and started rolling it up. He tied it to his belt with the other half. 

"I uh- I don't know… I just am…" the bi-haired human replied awkwardly. 

"Are you sure you're not taking some sort of drugs?" he asked jokingly and Ranboo sputtered. 

"No??" he denied incredulously.

"How do you- where would I even- wh-??"

 "Calm down Bossman, I was joking." Tubbo giggled. 

"Oh- right." he chuckled awkwardly before slowly crouching down and lowering his hand to the floor.  As soon as he judged it was close enough, Tubbo hopped off, eager to get back on solid ground. Though his judgment was a bit off and he ended up falling over and landed face first on the floor. 

"Ow…" 

"Are you okay?!" Ranboo asked worriedly and Tubbo felt wind rush past his back. He quickly sat up and scooted back, seeing the bi-haired teen's hand hovering anxiously near him.

"Yeah- yeah I'm fine." he said as he pushed himself off the ground. 

"So this is um, goodbye for now..?" the bi-haired teen asked, sounding a little dejected. 

"Goodbye for now." Tubbo repeated, a small smile on his face. 

"Okay… um- Tubbo can I ask you something before you go..?" 

"Ask away Bossman." the brunet shrugged.

"How did you get up there?" Ranboo pointed to the light.  There was a pause, before Tubbo took off in a sprint, running in the opposite direction of his friend. 

"You'll never know my secrets!" 

"Wh-??"

[sukirichi]

THE WAY I ACUTAWLLY SCREAMED WHEN I REALISED IT WAS DTD TUESDAY!!

omg i dont know how to say this eloquently so im just going to braindump onto you but youre amazing! im genuinely so so so grateful that you write and that you choose to share with us eveyrthing i feel so speacial and im sure everyone else does too!! the way you write is so breathtaking and i literally reread each setnence again and again until like i can acutally feel your sentence in my boneS... like the way you string yrou words tgt is so unique and it captures all the characters perfectly

AND ALSO RIN!!!!?!??! my man my man my man but also like girl you so toxic leverytime i read about him im like euwgh i love you but also i dont... and dont even get me started on omimomi

i love reader too, like shes so real for the way she reacting, i mean if i found out my man was cheating on me for years i would like be functioning half numb, but im also so happy that she started recognising SHE DESERVEES BETTER

okok so realy long rant but i jsut thoguht i would tell you how much you mean to me!!! lvoe you so so much its embedded in my freaking SOUL🫶🫶🫶

nonnie this was so sweet, i’m so soft rn 🥹 thank you so much AAAAA i think i’m going to melt ! i’m very happy to share my writings with you guys too because everyone is so sweet and supportive so thank you as well for all the love 💫 and oh yeahhh our man rin . . . he’s so sexc but his personality in dtd is not it (omi makes up for it though 🤭)

and yes !! here’s to reader slowly finding her path to true happiness ! and again nonnie thank you so much, i appreciate the time you took to send me this, i am so so soft rn. i love YOU and i am hoping you have the best timezone 🌷💫

[apparently-artless]

oh my god WAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH ART!!!! the gifset is SO so so beautiful you have no idea!!!!!!!!! i cannot stop watching it over and over again. the colours are absolutely perfect, and the gif transitions are so smooth!!!!!! i'm so so happy aaaaa i can't believe something so beautiful was made for my request 😭😭😭 i really appreciate it, thank you soo much!!!! the bokuyaba fandom is truly lucky to have you in it, your edits are always so spectacular and i always enjoy looking at them. im so glad you had fun making it too!!!! thanks a million and i hope you have a wonderful day, week, month and year <333 !!!!!!!! 💛💛💛

hi, willow!! thank you so much for sending me another message to let me know of your thoughts!! this message really made me happy. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

i also noticed that you pinned my post on your blog, i was practically blushing when i saw the label on top. (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

in all honesty, i was very aware of the scene that you were referring to when i saw your request. i was also thinking of making a set for that scene but it got buried in all the current series i am watching. the scene itself was already beautiful and to be honest i am not good at scenes with sunset gradient. and i guess that's another reason why i didn't made this set until you requested it. and so i took it both as a challenge and an opportunity. who knows, i might end up gif-baiting other people to watch it?? lol

and yes!! i did have fun making the set. i had to combine some gradients with different blending modes and i had to manipulate the level adjustment layer a lot for each gif. i was very concerned that i might end up ruining an already beautiful scene so i tried not to deviate too much from the original colors but at the same time still incorporate my own coloring style.

i hope you don't mind me putting the comparison of the original vs my coloring. this is just to show you how much i had fun making this edit. i am also very satisfied with the result if i do say so myself. hehehe. ^^

anyways, it doesn't matter if other people don't appreciate it as long as the person who requested the set liked it, is what i thought. so i'm very happy when i saw your message and your tags in the post when you reblogged it.

bokuyaba is a dark horse anime series for me. it's something i watched simply because i wanted to explore different genre every season. i was thinking of dropping it after 1-2 episodes but i'm glad that i didn't. i am not an avid fan of romance, especially if the main characters are young but this series has something special to offer. it's one of my favourite romance anime now with school setting.

SO TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DROPPED THIS ANIME, GIVE IT A TRY AGAIN. AND THEN SCREAM AT ME IN MY INBOX FOR WASTING YOUR TIME IF YOU STILL WOULD NOT LIKE IT AFTER WATCHING AT LEAST THE FIRST SEASON. XD

[bluehwale-main]

✨ poof ✨

a letter has arrived for you, full of my love and book recommendations (that’s actually the same thing recommending books is my love language).

Sorry it took me this long but I take book recommendations very seriously and had to think very hard about what I wanted to recommend. Even after so much thinking I wasn’t sure, so I just decided to recommend you many and hope that one of them will peak your interest and that hopefully you will fall in love with them the same way I did. Also I don’t like to spoil the plot and so I focus on how that book made me feel but please feel free to check the plot beforehand if you want to.

Okay enough of this pointless chitchat.. let’s focus on books now.

CLAIRE KEEGAN - SMALL THINGS LIKE THESE

Such a quiet book, begging to be read. I don’t want to spoil too much, but it was an excellent read.

JULIA ARMFIELD - OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA

This is a horror book. Warning you beforehand, because my stupid self didn’t check and ended up being quite surprised at the turn of events. However scary, it was done in nonviolent way. Sort of. At least there was no screaming or jumpscares or any of that kind.

My other warning. Do not read this book if you are anywhere near the sea. I repeat. Do not read this if you are anywhere near the sea.

PHILIPPE BESSON - LIE WITH ME

Love story that broke me, shattered my heart into million pieces, but healed me with the tender love story hidden within the pages. Such a story… only life can write. Also the writing was so extraordinarily beautiful I fell in love with it with each word.

RONAN HESSION - PANENKA

It’s difficult to describe how I fee about this book. I wasn’t feeling excited while reading it. It didn’t make me grip the book tightly never wanting to let go anxiously awaiting whats going to happen next.

This book made me fall in love with it slowly. Deliberately. Every single character is so complex and so human. This book made me think. It asked me questions that will haunt me (in the best way possible) for a very long time.

And the last one because i certainly must be boring you by now…

NGHI VO - THE SINGING HILLS CYCLE 1-3

Listen, I love fantasy and I read a lot of it growing up. This series is one of the best fantasy books I’ve ever read. The books are very short and it’s a quick read but the stories are so intricate and delightful and the whole world is so interesting with it’s history and stories of its people… I loved all three of them and can’t wait to read more.

Okay… That’s it for now, I hope if you ever read them, you’ll like at least one. Hope you have a lovely day, take care.

Love,

Sissi 🤍

PS: sending you one big kiss from San because… why not?

SISSIII o(TヘTo)

im okay im definitely not crying mhm yeah im totally fine im not lying on the ground rn EVERYONE LOOK AWAY !!

on a serious note; truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much for taking some time out of your day to send in this ask ㅠㅠ this makes me so happy u have no idea <33 and pls don’t apologize!! it means so much that u did this for me and i’m so thankful for you 🥺🫶

honestly i’ve followed a lot of readers in instagram to get recommendations but they always recommend the same books over and over again and it’s mostly books that i’ve already read :-/ but ur list include books that i’ve actually never heard about before SO IM SUPER EXCITED AAAAA <33 im most definitely very interested in philippe besson’s lie to me because the way u beautifully describe how u feel about it sold me!! also, i have hession’s panenka in my tbr list and now that u recommended it to me, i’m so much more excited to start reading it <3 i trust ur judgement 100% U HAVE AMAZING TASTE 🫡

i can’t wait to fall in love with these amazing books, sissi <3 again, thank you so much for this beautiful list, my heart is so so warm rn ☹️🫶 I LOVE YOUUUUU AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL have a great day and take care 🤍🫂

(p.s.: you could never bore me <3)

[go-to-the-mirror]

And, here I shouted with joy, because the lights above the Arby’s, inscrutable sigils of invaders from another world, shone just where they had been those ten long years ago when a young scientist asked an ancient radio host to meet him, and to sit awhile on the warm hood of his car.

EVERY REFERENCE TO ONE YEAR LATER HAS ME SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING AAAAA

And the child of the Glow Cloud, now the only one of its kind, and so forever forward just known as “The Glow Cloud,” dropped a flutter of dead starlings and let out a mournful cry, and we took up its cry, as the entire community grieved those losses that could never be regained. An emptiness that we could never fill, not in a thousand years of sunny days

I miss station management :( I don’t think they’re coming back

And Carlos said, “Then there is some research I would like to do on a desert Other-world.” He smiled. “Yes, I think there is still so much to learn about that place.”

Don’t fucking stay there for another decade

Good night, my Night Vale restored. Good night.

Oh… I’m feeling emotions rn <3

AAAAA IM NOT READY TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH A HIATUSSSSSS THIS IS THE WORST

[ciellebys]

via . ily and this fic and im its #1 fan so this is a fair warning . this feedback is LONG-

"old haven of knowledge" OK GIRL I SEE YOUR GAME (rubs hands together) this is gonna be GOOD

"i am literally a teenage girl and yet, you are the most delusional person I have ever met" y/n fired some shots damn you good over there seungs?

god the educators who think theyre ur friends are so true 😭😭 sometimes theyre fun but sometimes u dont wanna deal with them at all (ig this is also how teachers feel about students lol)

OH OFC JEONGIN IS THAT FRESHIE THAT GETS ADOPTED BY SENIORS LMFAODNWKDJWJW IT FITS SO WELL

daengyang besties fjsifwkdkw this is gonna be chaos 😼💥

"this is it, you thought, this is the last piece of my childhood i have left" way to make me sad all of a sudden damn??? now i gotta acknowledge that im also actually done with high school :(((

hello benji, idk who ur character is supposed to be inspired from but all i can think of is benji from superband lmao

OK THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY???? 😧😧😧 BENJI U MIGHT BE COMMITTING A FELONY SOON

trigo.... yeah no girl math aint for me but thank god y/n is a character lmdkcmwkdkw live my dream as a stem girly

oh? OH 😝 SEUNGMIN HAS A THING FOR THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE OOOOOOOO ~~~~ (i am no better than a middle schooler.)

"i'm surprised you remembered" + seungmin's silence reminds me of when hyunjin told him what does he even know about how much he appreciates him im gonna pop a nerve from happiness

seungmin as a ghoster is so funny to me cause same bestie

INTERMISSION BREAK: icb im barely 1/3 finished AHAHAHAHAHA i love this

TOUSLED HAIR SEUNGMIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🙈🙈🙈💗💗💗

"whose beaming smile rivalled the shine of a rainbow and whose honeyed voice washed over you like a soothing balm?" drowning myself this is such a good line

"look, your father doesn't love you." Y/N IS SUCH A MENACE HELLO?????

THE ROSE SCENE . THE DISCO PANG PANG . OH IM HAVING AN ANEURYSM FROM SCREAMING INTERNALLY IN THE MORNING

frenchboo 😭😭😭 im hollering its emily in paris but noelle

AAAAA SUCH A GOOD PROM THEME !! our senior's ball was bridgerton 🧍‍♀️ its cute enough ig

"You were so accustomed to the thought of each other, that you had become a reflection of each other. There was no Y/N L/N without Kim Seungmin and no Kim Seungmin without Y/N L/N." this whole section. OK VIA I SEE YOU 👁️👁️🤌

"All you cared about was that you finally had a person who would hold you while you break and pick up the pieces with you when you were ready, mending you and healing and hell, loving you back to a state of somewhat living." VIAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭 IM SOBBING

HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT Y/N (SCREECHES) IM LOSING MY MINDDDDDD

"if you say so" grandma u get me fr 🙏 theyre IDIOTS (to lovers)

"erupting with giggles that turned into fake coughs which once again morphed into real coughs." FUCKING LEWSERS LMFAOOOOO /fond

"Oh, that's because I used to like you" convinced this fic was made in my memory thank you for remembering me and making this in front of my framed picture via 🤗

"Jisung's way of asking you if you were single." which you clearly should respond with "its complicated"

INTERMISSION BREAK: 2/3 done !! getting water before i finish this fic and eat breakfast

ive said this before but seungmin liking mean girls is canon in my world

noooo why did y/n change his contact name 💔 ello's dad was so cute

omg here's the part i beta read !!! hello binary stars scene

UH WHAT??? IS NO ONE GONNA BAT AN EYE OVER THAT RING SCENE??? BECAUSE IM GOING BATSHIT RN

HELLO MIMO 🥰🥰🥰 UR FINALLY HAVING A CAMEO IN MENTIONS MY BB im glad to know u do catering services

aw renjun bae </3 sorry for this honey ur such a cutie pie in this but things gotta happen for the plot yknow

NOT SEUNG'S SISTER 🙂 THAT GUY SHOULD PAYYYYY WTF

"You were going to make Kim Seungmin fall in love with prom, while falling in love with you as well." LETS GO MONARCH !!! 👑 but im pretty sure he alr likes you so-

-oh well that took a turn 🤕 first lovers quarrel yall

LMAO KENDRICK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SEUNGMIN'S PROMPOSAL .... AND APOLOGY BUT OMG I WISH THAT HAPPENED TO ME HUHUHUHU 😿💔

the paper cuts :((( baby worked hard on this plan so Y/N PLS ACCEPT HIM

ofc jeongin is getting into prom one way or another he's so sndjqndnwn

now sunshine twins helping y/n prep for prom??? Y/N I WANT TO BE YOU . EVEN IF U ALR HAVE MY NAME AND SPIRIT .

"You look beautiful, but then again, you do everyday." guys watch me do a flip . off a cliff .

seungmin having a simone ashely fanpage would be so funny ngl

HE'S PRINCIPAL NOW???? AWWWWW IM MELTING IM SO HAPPILY SAD ITS SO BITTERSWEET THEYRE ALL GROWN UP SOBS

OMG THEYRE ENGAGED HEEEEEHEEEEEEE 😭💞 FULL CIRCLE WAY TOO

3/3 done !! i loved this couple so much via 🤧💗 new comfort fic

overall, this was so well written !! the narrations and figures of speech were used to their best potential and i also love all the pop culture references they were so funny AHAHAHAHA the development and dynamic between the main characters was paced really well and i loved it so much <3 you did really well via, congratulations on finishing battleground 🎉🎉🎉

battleground

synopsis: you hated your co-president, kim seungmin. but, it's your last year of high school and prom planning is up to the two of you. you just expect getting work done and leaving school. what you don't expect however, is kim seungmin looking after you (considering you never do) and you coaxing him into being your prom date.

pairing: non-idol!seungmin x fem!reader

genre: academic rival to lovers, crack, fluff, high school au, angst if you squint

warnings: swearing, mentions of eating, mentions of fatigue and fainting, sickness and overworking, slight themes of stalking, panic attack but not mentioned as such, mentions of alcohol, overconsumption of alcohol, a shit ton of pop culture references (i'm sorry)

word count: 21k words (?!)

requested by: @starlostseungmin (hi kaisey ily)

playlist: gorgeous - taylor swift, true love - p!nk, CHILL - stray kids, make you mine - madison beer, teenage dream - katy perry

a/n: real life men are better of as just enemies. my fictional rendition of seungmin, however, is not. (also i hope it isn't obvious that i have never been to prom.)

"you ruined my life, by not being mine"

"Was that an attempt of trying to flirt with me? Cause, wow, you need to step your game up," Seungmin told you with a smirk.

Sunlight streamed through the library windows, illuminating the dust that covered the bookshelves. They were proof of the lack of visits to the old haven of knowledge. Settled in an armchair was Kim Seungmin, book in one hand, glasses slightly crooked and one legged propped upon the other.

You let out a puff of breath in an attempt to calm yourself down because, who did he even think he was? "No, Kim, it wasn't. I am literally a teenage girl and yet, you are the most delusional person I have ever meet," you spit out, "The principal's calling us. Let's go."

"Alright, fine," Seungmin responded lazily. He stretched his long limbs and got up from the armchair he was cozily tucked up in.

He joined you on your walk towards the principal's office while you told off whatever force was above that caused you to be walking to impeding doom with Kim Seungmin on a Friday morning.

You both had a bitter rivalry that began your first year in high school. Coinciding with the fact that the said high school was also a boarding school, there was no escaping Seungmin. You couldn't even pinpoint when your feelings towards him changed from indifference to animosity; but having been pitted against each other for all your academic life at Park Academy, it certainly did make sense.

It wasn't that you didn't respect Seungmin. He was good at everything he did and a worthy opponent in all your endeavors. But he just made it so difficult for you to like him.

Your already dysfunctional relationship with him only took a turn for the worse this high school senior year. Both of you had decided to run for student council president. Despite all the campaigning and emotional blackmailing, you both had tied for the position.

Your incredible school, instead of holding a tie-breaker, deciding to make you both student council presidents. The idea of writing 'student council co-president' on your college applications physically made you wince.

But the worst part? Seungmin and you actually worked really well together. Deciding to keep your rivalry out of anything student council related on your first session (the banter continued though, nothing could take that away), you both had built up one of the best councils the school had seen under your shared leadership.

You didn't know just how well you both would get along when it came to matters as such, but that didn't lead to either of you warming up to each other. Conversation between you both strictly consisted of official matters and jabs at each other.

In fact, you hated each other's presence so much that you both almost instantly decided on splitting responsibilities to avoid running into each other. Oddly enough, you both seemed to agree on a lot of things. You always just brushed it off with a, great minds think alike.

Not that you would ever confess to Seungmin that you considered him to be someone with a 'great mind'.

The both of you walked towards the principal's office in silence. When you eventually got there, the receptionist quickly ushered you both inside. You smoothed down your skirt and sat down with your hands in you lap. Beside you, you noticed Seungmin drape his blazer over the back of his chair and take a seat.

Your principal was on a call and winked at the both of you, pointing towards the phone and turning her finger around in a circle near her temple. Seungmin flashed her a strained smile while you hoped that the expression of judgment on your face wasn't obvious.

For some reason, Principal Kim thought that she was your friend. When she finally put the phone down, she snorted, "Superintendents, am I right?"

Seungmin and you laughed weakly in response. Principals, am I right? was the phrase you were currently trying very hard to bite back.

Coming closer, Principal Kim laced her fingers together and leaned onto the table. "As you both know," she began, "We have around five months till prom."

A buzzing grew in your stomach, excitement engulfing your senses. Prom. Your sole respite, the event that you had looked forward to your entire high school life. From watching Disney movies romanticizing prom at a young age, to subsequently moving onto books that did the same, you felt like prom would be the pinnacle of your time in school.

"Now," continued Principal Kim, "While I do know that you both have a tendency to work separately, I would like you both to chair the prom committee together this year. We are thinking of making this year's prom one of Park Academy's finest. Take your time and compile the best Prom committee you can and get started on everything."

She clapped her hand and leaned back, beaming at her best students. "That is all," she smiled softly, nudging a tray of toffees towards you both.

Seungmin looked mortified at the thought of eating something from the principal's office like he was six. In any other circumstance you would have too, but the giddiness of both prom planning and not having had anything for over twenty four hours compelled you to take one.

"Aren't you excited?" you asked Seungmin as you both walked out of the door.

You were opening the toffee wrapper when he responded with a curt, "No. I personally believe that prom is a waste of time. I'll help in the committee planning and be present if I need to, but you can rightfully assume that I will not be enjoying any of it."

You were slightly shocked at his response but responded with a scathing, "I didn't know that the Kim Seungmin was too high and haughty for prom."

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to make eye contact with you. "Prom is like a playground for bullies and confused teenagers. It's a battleground for snarky comments and raging hormones and, might I add, brings out the worst in people."

He quickly turned on his heel and walked away before you could utter a word. You slowly let out a deep breath to control you anger and headed in the same direction as him, towards the cafeteria. You can hear the chatter of students and the sudden influx of sound momentarily causes your world to spin.

You're leaning against one of the lockers trying to steady yourself when feel an arm around your waist hoisting you up.

Hyunjin clicked beside you in disappointment. "Don't make me start feeding you now."

You just sighed in response and leaned your head against his shoulders. He was right, of course. You had the horrible habit of putting your health second (to last) with regards to anything that had to do with university and getting in. One of those things was skipping meals in favor of studying.

"I don't understand how people who sleep eight hours a day get shit done," you whined against Hyunjin.

"Well, has it ever occurred to you that people usually don't have as much shit to do as you do?" your best friend responded wisely. You lightly tapped the side of your sneaker against his.

Hwang Hyunjin was practically your brother in every aspect possible. He was lovable, caring, annoying and wanted to make you rip your hair out. All of this was what you assumed having a sibling was like, being an only child yourself. Ironically, he was one too.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You first met Hyunjin during an art class that you had to take for your first week of school. You struggled with drawing a straight line, while embarrassingly using a ruler. He was sitting beside you and calmly sketched one of the most incredible monochromatic landscapes you had ever seen.

When fourteen-year old Hyunjin gave your drawing a practically dangerous side eye and when you looked at him with eyes pleading to help you, the foundation of your friendship was laid. Later, when you handed him half a Snickers bar as a means of saying 'thank you', your friendship was cemented in chocolate and pencil shavings.

You both were joined at the hip ever since.

Your other best friend, Jeongin, had a habit of seemingly materializing out of nowhere and startling you in the process.

"Hi," he said, his face spawning in front of yours.

His wild hair and crazed smile caused you to yelp in surprise and hit your arm against the water fountain. Hyunjin laughed at your misfortune while Jeongin apologized with an extremely unapologetic smile. You resorted to glaring at both of them.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The story of how Jeongin turned your duo into your trio was a tale in itself. Jeongin was a year younger than you and Hyunjin, currently a junior. You had first spotted him on his first day of school, him waddling around like a lost duckling and you unwittingly (and unwillingly) taking on the role of a mother hen.

Hyunjin had seen young Jeongin standing in the crowd, desperately trying to act cool. Jeongin's shoes were a painful pattern of key lime and hot pink that most definitely did not match together. He wore an oversized jacket and sent a small nod towards everyone who looked his way, hands jammed in his jeans pocket.

"That one," Hyunjin declared while dragging you along with him, "We're adopting that one."

And so two became three.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Presently, you scoffed at Jeongin. "How did you even become student council vice president?"

Jeongin beamed at you, counting off his fingers as he listed of his campaigning winning qualities. "I'm hot, rich, smart and funny."

Hyunjin snorted in response, him on one side of you and Jeongin on the other. "Innie, you are several things but smart is not one of them."

You were compelled to nod in response as Jeongin responded with a gasp, "You too? How could you betray me as well."

You would have issued a sarcastic reply to what he said, but you were too distracted by Hyunjin being distracted. He had suddenly stood still at the entryway of cafeteria, staring at something in the distance.

When you followed his line of sight, you suppressed the urge to burst out into laughter. Jeongin, however, did not.

"Gosh Hyunjin," he wheezed between laughs, "Just ask Riya out. Watching you suffer in this down bad, unspoken friend zoned phase is pitiful."

Hyunjin had been in love with Riya Rai for well over two years. You could obviously tell why; she was gorgeous, smart and a part of Hyunjin's dance class. You were truly rooting for them to start dating, Riya being one of your roommates.

You still remembered the way Hyunjin gushed over her classical dance audition. ('I couldn't understand the words but it was like she was flying!') Jeongin too, was subject to Hyunjin's hopeless love for her. Being the kind of person Hyunjin was, he fell for her hard and deep.

You were happy for Hyunjin, you truly were. But a part of you longed to feel a love like that for somebody. Not even a relationship, just feel love dripping into your heart until it rushed in like a torrent.

You were always so busy with proving yourself to others, that you never really took the time to introspect your own desires.

"Hyunjin," you asked impatiently once you remembered what exactly you wanted to talk about.

"Hm?" he responded as you both grabbed your food and sat at a table with your regular friend group.

Riya slid in beside Hyunjin and you could feel him visibly tense. You couldn't understand why he was so nervous to profess his feelings for her. Any girl (apart from you, because ew) would be willing to date Hyunjin.

Riya brightly made her pleasantries after which you asked solemnly, "Guys. Would you do me the honor of being part of the prom planning committee?"

Riya and Hyunjin were the few people who shared the enthusiasm for prom which you did. Riya mouth slowly hung open while Hyunjin sharply took in a breath.

"Really?" he whispered in awe.

You nodded happily as Hyunjin hugged you from one side and Riya clambered over to where you were sitting to wrap her arms around you. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou," she repeated like a chant while Hyunjin excitedly began plotting décor ideas.

Maybe you wouldn't need romantic love while you had them.

You were busy people watching and tuning out Riya and Hyunjin's enthusiastic chatter when you caught site of Seungmin. He was sitting with his best friend, Lee Felix. You found their friendship quite odd. How could the embodiment of happiness be so close with the devils spawn?

I guess opposites attract platonically too.

You lamented at the thought of co-heading a prom committee with a partner who hated prom until an idea struck you. If Kim Seungmin hated prom, you could teach him how to love it. That lunch break, you made an executive decision that, unbeknown to you, would inevitably change you life.

You decided to open Kim Seungmin's eyes to the brilliance of prom.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - five months.

Seungmin stood next to you as you both waited for the rest of the student council members to make their way for your impromptu Saturday meeting. The two of you stared up at one of the most monstrous things you had ever seen in your lives.

A large banner with a blue background and the words "T-5 MONTHS TILL PROM!!!" in an ugly orange text stared back at you.

You gaped at the banner, seething with anger. "Let me find the person whose amazing idea this was and rearrange their body proportions for them."

Seungmin just responded calmly, "Maybe this is a sign from the universe to get our act together, delegate responsibilities to the committee and actually get started on prom."

"Not all of us are as optimistic as you, Kim," you told him dryly.

"Not all of us have an insatiable bloodlust, candy cane," he retorted monotonously.

Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you turned to see Seungmin's eyebrow cocked in a persumed sense of superiority.

You despised the nickname, a knowing jab at your short stature. Seungmin first called you candy cane when he noted how your height was nearly equivalent to the candy canes lining your school halls in your junior year.

It had stuck when you both were privately conversing with each other ever since.

His indifference slightly bristled you, but then again you were known for having a slightly short temper.

Chatter flowed in through the library's door, accompanied by the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor. People who you and Seungmin had individually contacted, along with most student council members, began entering the room.

You noticed Hyunjin making his way to sit next to Riya, who was busy in conversation with Felix. The three of them were known for being close due to dance club. You shot Hyunjin an encouraging smile and he gave you a slightly crooked one.

Jeongin bounded up to the front to assume his rightful place as vice president. You ruffled his hair and he pinched your arm in retaliation. Your little squeal and his irritated grunt earning an annoyed look from Seungmin.

He cleared his throat loudly, instantly commanding the attention of the entire room. Faces turned to look at him when his voice called out, "I hope you all know why we have gathered here today."

He turned to look at you, your cue to begin talking. "As you may be aware, you all have been selected as this year's Park Academy Prom Committee!"

The room burst into applause as Seungmin continued, a routine familiar to you both. You didn't know how the two of you did it. Without even prior conversation, you two fell into sync when it came to addressing the crowd in front of you for your co-lead student council meetings.

Once again you chalked it up to, great minds think alike. There was no way you and Seungmin had anything else in common, apart from the occasional train of thought.

Right?

When your long sermon was finally finished, the room was buzzing with excitement. Teenage hormones and the onset of prom brewed a recipe for eager anticipation. This is it, you thought, this is the last piece of my childhood I have left.

On the advice of Principal Kim, you and Seungmin split the overall committee into three groups: one for decorations, one for publicity and one to arrange entertainment.

Jeongin had proclaimed himself the 'god of social media' and sauntered off to the group in charge of publicity. Hyunjin, Riya and Felix automatically were presumed to be part of décor, with Hyunjin elected head of their group. ('I will not let my team down. Over my dead fucking body,' he told you in complete seriousness later that day.)

Finally, you and Seungmin were left handling booking and anything else payment and transaction related. Principal Kim's vehement repetition of how she only trusted the two of you with cash was seared into your brain.

As you both took rounds of the large library hall, something kept nagging at you, itching the back of your brain. It disheartened you to see how warmly everyone interacted with Seungmin in comparison with you.

What bothered you even more, however, was how warmly Seungmin, interacted with others when compared to you.

Being likable was one of, if not the biggest goal in your life. Knowing that a single person disliked you sent you into a frenzy. Call it your upbringing or society, either way you felt like everybody you knew had to find you to be a good person, or else you weren't.

Other people's opinions were like medicine to you. Gaining external validation became such a large part of your life that sometimes, you forgot that what you thought, what you wanted, mattered as well.

And in this draining people-pleasing process, you weren't quite 'friends' with everyone. You were friendly and appreciated among your students, yes. But you didn't have a large friend group full of people who cherished your very existence, like Seungmin.

That was probably why you called Hyunjin and Jeongin were your best friends. It took away from the fact that they were your only friends. Seeing them with their own, other friends hurt, but it was too late now.

There was no point making more friends when you would be gone anyways. And despite how much you wanted to, you knew that creating deeper connections only to break them away would prove pointless.

You and Seungmin settled into the small bean bag pods which were propped up against the empty library walls. He scrolled through his phone with utmost concentration as you did the same, tapping away at your laptop keys.

"We'll have to sit with Lily for planning the budget," Seungmin broke the silence while referring to the committee treasurer, "But she has texted me the overall amount we have in the trust."

Seungmin opened the message and angled his phone towards you, eliciting a gasp from your mouth.

"That is an insane amount. Do you know what this means? We truly can make this Park Academy's best prom yet!" you excitedly began listing off the non-existent limits to which the money could spent.

"You forgot something," Seungmin added, stunning you to silence. What could have you forgotten about prom which Seungmin could have remembered?

The stoic expression on his face, however, told you it was nothing good.

"We need to show extreme constraint while using the money and be strict on the group," Seungmin huffed.

You blew in anger, "The entire point of having an extensive budget is to let loose! God, you're like the Grinch of prom or something."

"Please sweetheart," he snorted, "I'm far better looking than him. Even you can't deny that."

And as infuriating Seungmin seemed to you, he was correct. Seungmin was drop dead gorgeous. Even in a plain school uniform, he had the power to turn several heads. In fact, you would be lying if you said that you didn't find him a teensy bit attractive.

Not that he would ever obtain that information.

Seungmin went back to work, looking for banquet halls and hotels open to being the venue for prom. You observed him carefully, trying to figure the psychology behind why he hated prom. Then, you realized that to to succeed in your mission, you didn't have too.

The Grinch fell in love with Christmas too...

"I have made an executive decision," you announced to no one but Seungmin in particular.

He looked up, an expression of boredom and confusion coating his features.

"How exactly, darling, did you take an executive decision without consulting half of the executive. I thought you were smart enough to know how decision making takes place," a smug smile adorned him.

You rolled your eyes at him, "I will make you like prom."

Seungmin scoffed, "As if. You know what, Y/N? I bet you can't."

You sighed in fake defeat, cheering inside. One thing about having an academic rival was predicting their moves to the point where you knew how to trap them. It was like a game of chess, where Seungmin thought he had the upper hand, but you were one move away from checkmate.

You understood what made Seungmin tick, what ignited passion in him and what triggered him. You knew how to get a rise out of him and get him to calm down. More terrifyingly so, you knew that he knew the same.

You likened it to years of shared dislike, denying the fact that you both maybe were alike.

"I mean, considering our role in the entire organization of prom, we'll be stuck together all night anyways," you lamented in disappointment, "Truthfully speaking, I honestly did expect you to decline my invitation to formally attend prom with me as my de facto date."

"Although I wasn't planning on calling you that," you included for good measure.

You decided to deviate from telling him the real reason why you wanted to take him to prom. Out of everyone in this school, Seungmin was the last person left whose good books you didn't have so much as a footnote in.

You knew that this little social experiment of yours to leave school with everyone singing praises about you was highly selfish, but you needed this to feel worthy of graduating. You needed this to feel worthy of being a part of a social communities.

You could practically see the anger teeming from Seungmin at proving you right. "Fine," he spit out, "I'll be your date."

Checkmate.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - four months and 16 days.

With final assessments right around the corner, physical committee meetings came to a halt. All conversations took place through group chats and the occasional locker meetups. In all the frenzy of studying, you were once again indulging in sleepless nights and nutrition-less days.

Seungmin had gone into hibernation mode and as had you. All your phones were on do not disturb and casual fun was out of the question. Today, you had taken release in the library, headphones on and coffee in hand.

You were (pathetically, to some, advantageously, to you) on a first name basis with the resident librarian. Because of you often staying late nights (correction: all night) in the library, you even had your own spare key to lock up when you were done. It was a little secret you both shared.

Today, however, you felt uneasy. A transfer student by the name of Benji had been unceasingly making romantic advances towards you the past week. Although you reject him multiple times, his feats of grandeur only grew.

He was currently sitting a few tables away from you, the only other person in the library apart from librarian Kang. Even though he attempted to look busy and engrossed in the book in his hand, he kept stealing glances from you.

It was late, very much so. Everybody would be asleep and you didn't want to disturb anyone. You calmed your nerves but reached your breaking point when Kang asked Benji if he planned to leave anytime soon and he refused.

In a state of both fear and fatigue, you dialed the number of the only person who you knew would be awake at this time and waited for the call to ring out.

"Hello?" came Seungmin's bewildered voice. You rarely called him and even then, never at this hour.

"Seungmin, hi. I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?" you asked him, hoping to suppress the  anxiety in your voice.

He must have noticed though, because his voice was alert. "Sure, what's up?"

"You know how Benji has been treating me, right?"

He hummed in acknowledgement. Of course he knew. Benji boasted so much that everyone knew.

"Well, I'm in the library and so is he. He's the only one here and it's kinda freaking me out. If it's ok with you, can you please just stay on call with me just in case? You can put me on hold or something, just please be active. I'm really sorry but you're the only other person who I knew would be awake right now."

You heard rustling in the background and his voice finally came back, "Wait. My dorm is loud anyways so I'll meet you there."

"Oh, okay, okay."

To your extreme relief, Seungmin did not hang up the call. Instead, you could hear his footsteps. All the mundane sounds of him locking his dorm, shoes slapping against the concrete and heavy breathing (due to running, but that didn't make sense) oddly calmed you down.

That was, however, until Benji walked over to where you were sitting. He gave you a venomous smile and leaned over to books right above your head. Pulling out a book from the shelf above your head and walked away, something sharp glinting in his hand.

You breathing quickened. "Seungmin, he has a sharp object. I have assessed all possible escape routes. I would suggest that you leave as I will probably as well if the situation escalates."

"Are you fucking out of your mind?" he questioned, almost sounding angry that you had even thought of saying something like that.

"I'm not leaving you alone with him or giving him an opportunity to fuck with the students of this school. He may be here for only two weeks, but I'll make sure he doesn't hurt a single person."

The steel in his voice made you shudder. You did not want to be on Kim Seungmin's death list. The library doors swung open as librarian Kang let out an exasperated sigh.

"Another wannabe Einstein," she muttered under her breath as Seungmin made his way towards you.

He looked like a sight for sore eyes in his plain sweater and gray sweatpants. Seungmin gave you a subtle not and took a seat right beside you, pulling out his books and tablet. Soon you both started studying and, before you knew it you both were engaged in a heated competition to see who could solve as many trigonometry problems as possible correctly, in the least time.

Throughout this duration, you didn't find out much personally about him, but saw a more carefree side of him. In fact, you liked this carefree side of him.

He winced when you pointed out the simple mistake he made that caused him to lose in the end. "I can't believe I've forgotten what the division symbol looks like."

You giggled and poked his arm, legs underneath your feet. "Is this what letters in math is doing to you?"

Seungmin shrugged sheepishly with a tiny smile. "Go ahead, shortcake, gloat."

Instead, you posed him with a question, "Why do you always insult my height? Like, that seems to be your favorite."

Maybe, just maybe, you were imagining it, but you saw a light blush scatter over Seungmin's cheeks. He cleared his throat and, in what must have been a moment of vulnerability said, "You are good at literally everything else. Your height is the only thing I can ask you about."

You stared at him slightly open mouthed at his sudden respect. In an instant, the room felt to hot and Seungmin's face felt to close to yours. The moment was broken, however, by the simultaneous and not at all harmonious chorus of a chair scratching against the floor and you're stomach rumbling.

Benji was gone and but your appetite was back. Seungmin must have heard it too because his right eyebrow was ticked up.

"When, exactly, did you last eat?"

"Today," you admitted sheepishly, "Morning. At 6."

"And what was it?"

Another gulp. "A banana."

Seungmin shook his head in disappointment and rifled through his bag. He pulled out a mushed granola bar and handed it to you.

"Eat," he commanded.

"Okay," you said meekly. "Wait, this is my favorite brand!"

"Yeah, I think you mentioned that before," Seungmin said nonchalantly, but you noted the slight quiver in his voice.

You took a bite and it felt like your body was screaming at you. It felt so good to eat after just having six in the morning bananas for the past few days, that you little out an embarrassing little squeal in content.

"I'm surprised you remembered," you referenced Seungmin earlier statement and folded the wrapper in a neat rectangle. Putting it in your pocket to throw away later, you waited for Seungmin's response.

It never came. His head was bent and he was hard at work, evidently ignoring. Seeing this as an indication that the conversation was over, you got back to your own work. That wasn't, however, without a feeling of something new that wasn't hate - adjacent.

You felt a little blossom of affection in your stomach for the boy flipping through the pages of his notebook beside you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - it's finals!

You slammed your Astrophysics textbook against your desk, yet again unable to get stuff to fit in your brain. It was your last final and while you crammed for your other subjects, Seungmin had told Hyunjin that you were back to your old habits. Hyunjin and Riya had then joined hands and blackmailed you into (yuck) taking care of yourself.

"Seriously," you grumbled, "How do people who get eight hours of sleep get their shit done?"

Finally coming to the conclusion that you were helpless, you reached for your phone to text all your questions to Seeun, the assistant teacher. Seeun was a university student interning at your school, and an alumni as well. Citing how she was very much close in age with the students of your grade (if six years is considered 'close'), she insisted that you all call her Seeun and not Miss Choi.

You were in such a rush that you didn't even check for typos, tackling another chapter while waiting for Seeun's response. You still had one more day to study, considering that your exam was the day after tomorrow, you were going to use all twenty four hours and more to your advantage, not wasting a single bit.

Finding it odd that Seeun still hadn't responded considering how bored she always said she was and her frighteningly quick response times, you decided to check your phone. To your horror, however, you found out that in your rush, instead of sending your questions to Seeun, you had sent them to Seungmin.

His responses were almost instantaneous.

[8:18 AM]

You: [sent attachment]

You: Hi Seeun, I had a few questions regarding these topics. I was wondering if we could meet up tmrw to discuss them? Thx!

[8:20 AM]

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): i'm not seeun, but i could help

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): i tutored a few seniors taking this class last year

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): if you want, how does the coffee shop down the street at eight sound to you?

You were practically smiling at your phone. It obviously had to do about the fact that it was someone offering you help, not that it was Seungmin specifically. (Duh?) After waging a long, internal war, you finally opted to sacrifice what little dignity you had in front of Seungmin's eyes and take him up on his offer.

[2:47 PM]

You: really? omg thx!

You: see you then

[2:48 PM]

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): k, ig i'll see you there

Huh. Weird. Seungmin was notorious for being known to reply to people after a minimum of at least two hours, if they were lucky enough not to be left on read.

Not reading to much into it, you went back to work. Work wasn't just work though. It was an influx of nervous butterflies accompanying it. Not that it had anything to do with Seungmin, of course.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When you got to the coffee shop that morning, it was technically 7:55. But, as you had always been taught, five minutes early is on time. Seungmin must have abided by that philosophy too, because soon he stumbled through the door.

You hadn't even picked a table to sit at when he tapped you shoulder and said, "Hey."

You turned to find Seungmin with the same green, battered back pack he took everywhere slung over one shoulder. His hair was tousled in an endearing way that made you want to squish him. His eyes were surprisingly warm and his lips were turned up.

"Like what you see sweetheart?" he teased.

You rolled your eyes at him, "No, of course not. It's like looking at something so hideous that you can't peel your eyes off of it."

He gave you a good natured laugh and walked alongside you to the coffee table.

After much deliberation, which mainly consisted of you and Seungmin arguing over the pros and cons of a window seat, you finally settled on a seat close enough to the large glass window for Seungmin's satisfaction and far enough to not prove distracting to you.

When your sugar packet tower fell down in the process of building it, he grinned at you again. It felt nice, having Seungmin's smile directed towards you.

Whoa, slow down there. Are you ok?

Without even realizing what you were saying, you asked Seungmin, "Why do you always cover your face when you laugh?"

Seungmin's smile slightly faded. "When I was in middle school, I used to wear braces. The kids... they found it weird, which meant they found me weird."

You were shocked. How could anyone dislike his smile? Seungmin's smile was one of the prettiest smile's you had ever seen. And mind you, you used to hate Kim Seungmin.

Used to. Now, it was more like you were tolerating him, sometimes even appreciating him. Wow, something really is wrong with you.

You snorted. "If I could travel back in time," you declared, "I would deck those dumbasses in the phase."

Seungmin choked on the coffee that the waitress had dropped off a few minutes ago. He surprisingly remembered your order, despite you only mentioning it to him during his student council coffee runs only once or twice before.

"Y/N, I'm pretty sure that's a crime," Seungmin snickered.

You raised your eyebrows in response. "And if you don't help me with this, I'm about to commit a crime, and you won't be in a position to testify."

With that, the lessons began.

Seungmin was an extremely good teacher. He was well known among the student body for being the kind of tutor that took F grades and turned them into a B+ or A-. Even you wanted to start tutoring, but your patience often wore thin faster than it did for others.

Seungmin though, didn't break a sweat. He revised concepts over and over again until you understood, making sure that at the end, you didn't have a single semblance of a doubt in your mind when it came to the related topic.

Two hours later, you were finally done.

"Now," Seungmin announced, "We will have some fun and let loose."

You were putting your books inside when you clicked a pen in your hand restlessly. "You, prim and proper Kim Seungmin, want to 'let loose' and 'have some fun'?"

Seungmin clicked his tongue in exasperation. "Look tiny, I'm disciplined, but I know my limits. You have already studied everything to the T. Plus, your exam is tomorrow. Get some fresh air and take a break now, then revise once more in the evening."

You wondered how he could be so careless when he probably had an exam tomorrow too. "What about you? Don't you have to study as well?"

Seungmin sent you a devious grin and you felt your knees go weak a little (No. What?)

"I had my last exam yesterday, honey," he happily shared, patting your head in mock pity in the process.

Honey, that was new. You were so used to the reoccurrences of 'darling', 'sweetheart' and terms related to your height that the new nickname caught you slightly off guard.

You hoped the expression on your face clearly conveyed that you found his actions traitorous. "How dare you prey on a vulnerable young woman just to quench your loneliness?"

"Come on," Seungmin coaxed, "We can hit the boardwalk, get lunch and go back to the dorms. You and I both know that we aren't invited to Saturday gatherings due to unfortunately being classified as 'nerds'."

In the end, you relented. After all, who can say no to someone whose beaming smile rivalled the shine of a rainbow and whose honeyed voice washed over you like a soothing balm?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Boardwalk was the name that the students had given to the all year amusement park reminiscent set up that was just a few minutes away from the dorms. You had come here several times, but rarely with someone else and mostly to clear your head. (And watch toddlers shrieking on the carousel).

The moment you got your pink wristbands, Seungmin dragged you to the stalls where you played to win a plushie. He was so intent on winning something that you found it almost adorable.

"You do know that these are all scams, right? There's no way you'll win," you stated confidently, disregarding the mammoth scowl on the game operators face."

Seungmin lazily picked up a dart and aimed for the balloons hung on the wall. He cocked his head towards you and gave you a wink, "This one's for you, sweetheart."

To your utmost surprise, the dart hit the balloon perfectly. Even Seungmin looked stunned. The operator offered him another dart and you a self-assured smirk. He once again hit the dart again, with a satisfying pop!.

"All right folks," the operator droned, "Pick a stuffed toy."

Seungmin nudged you slightly, "Which one?"

You glanced at him, "You won, so it's only fair that you choose."

Seungmin smirked at you, "Nope. I recall mentioning that that one was for you."

Heat pooled in your stomach, which shouldn't have. Especially when the cause were Kim Seungmin.

"Okay," you jutted out your head to make eye contact with him and turned back to choose the lucky stuffed toy.

You pointed at a medium sized elephant plushie and grabbed it eagerly. Holding it tight to your chest you said, "What should we name our child Seungmin?"

He presented you with no reply and a face contorted with judgement.

Pouting, you mockingly told the elephant, "Look, your father doesn't love you."

Feigning an offended gasp, Seungmin promptly snatched the elephant from you, "Don't listen to your mother, Ello."

"Ello?" You laughed.

"Shh," Seungmin chastised, "Let my inner European be free."

The mild spring breeze whipped your hair around and you took of your jacket, wrapping it around your waist. You spotted a fallen rose and quickly went to pick it up. It was still in pristine condition and in a random bout of girlhood, you tried to tuck it behind your ear.

Silently, Seungmin motioned towards you taking Ello and you handing him the rose. Seungmin somehow managed to break of the thorns without cutting himself.

Delicately lifting up the hair behind your hair, he began to adjust the rose in place. Since he was considerably taller than you, Seungmin leaned in front. You could see every valley and crevice in his face and for some reason, you wanted to hold it in your arms.

A rush thumped through your chest. As silly as it seemed, nobody had ever quite touched you like that. Seungmin's breath smelled like chocolates and cinnamon.

A rebellious part if you wondered if that was what he would taste like.

Lightly clearing his throat, he continued walking and you followed wordlessly. A few random rides later, you both finally found yourself in front of the Disco Pang Pang. A smile tugged at your lips. You were so going on this ride today.

Cheeks flushed from the fun you were having, you said breathlessly, "Let's go."

Seungmin visibly gulped, "I don't know."

"Aw come on, don't tell me you're scared." Seeing the petrified expression on his face however, you quickly retracted your statement. "It's fine, we don't have to,"

"No, it's okay," Seungmin managed weakly, "Just, hold me please."

Handing Ello to one of the fair volunteers, you both clambered up the metal stairs and took a seat on the foam benches. Seungmin was right next to you, his arm around the railing of where you sat.

Your initial excitement of experiencing this wore off, however, when the machine suddenly lurched forward. It threw Seungmin on you and his arms instinctively curved around your waist.

The warmth from his body radiated into you and for a moment stayed frozen, eyes glued on each other. You felt electric shocks where he touched you and trembled slightly.

Catching his breath, Seungmin began to apologize profusely. "I'm sorry I didn't mean too-"

The machine lurched again and again. Seungmin had figured out how to maintain his balance and stayed the distance of an arm's length away from you. When it was finally over, you both stumbled onto solid ground, clutching your stomachs.

"That. Was. Awesome!" You decided, delight etching your face.

"I'm convinced you're a six year old boy stuck in an eighteen year old girl's body," Seungmin groaned.

Agreeing upon this being enough fun for one day you both walked back to the dorms and went your separate ways. Astoundingly, Seungmin's advice of taking a break in between studying did help and you noticed that you were retaining information better.

You wanted to thank him and grabbed your phone.

[7:26 PM]

You: ty maybe.

You: I *kinda* had fun today

[7:30 PM]

Ello's dad: just admit it darling

Ello's dad: im fun

[7:31 PM]

You: in ur dreams Kim, in ur dreams

[7:32 PM]

Ello's dad: well then, ig I'll be dreaming of you tonight

You smiled despite yourself and went to bed.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - three months and twenty-five days.

Your relationship with Seungmin was somehow significantly improving. Yes, you still did indulge in your regular banter, but you both now had the ability to have full conversations without actually insulting the other person.

Your exams were finally over and, as presumed, both you and Seungmin had equal grades. What you didn't expect however, was even sharing the title of valedictorian with Seungmin.

The you before your impromptu study session would have been spitting fireballs. The you currently was looking forward to embarrassing Seungmin a little bit (in all good fun), during your moment in the spotlight.

In the fast paced environment of writing finals, wrapping up college applications and facing parents at parent - teacher meetings, the prom committee had forgotten one, extremely crucial component of prom planning: Picking a theme.

It was so stupid, really. None of you even realized until the décor committee was busy trying to decide on decorations and Felix meekly articulated, "Uh, guys. I don't think we ever decided on a set theme."

Seungmin eyes grew wide and you took in a sharp breath. How could you forget something so important? Frantic chatter arose and in a futile-ish attempt, you yelled out to the students, "Guys! Let's just come up with ideas, but in an orderly fashion."

In an instant, the room began quieting down and hands were raised, full of ideas. Seungmin gave you an impressed look and everyone slowly began suggesting various prom themes.

"What if," Noelle screamed from the back of the room, "We had a Paris inspired theme? I know, Paris nights!"

The entire room let out a collective groan. If Korea had koreaboos, then Noelle was some fucked up version of a French-boo. She boasted to whoever would listen that she had French blood, if being named Noelle and visiting Canada for two weeks constituted French heritage.

Riya ears perked up however, and she asked, "How about Aphrodite's Garden?"

You and Seungmin exchanged a look. "Elaborate," asked Seungmin.

Hyunjin gave Riya an encouraging shove and she stood up, "How about a spring theme, but instead of the classic flowers and leaves, it's more sensual and inspired by Greek mythology?"

The room broke into excited conversation, seemingly approving of Riya's idea. Hyunjin stood up next to her, "Riya and I could prepare a mood board and send it to the group chat."

"All in favor," Seungmin asked. A clear majority.

"Perfect," you smiled, "Then it's settled. The theme will be Aphrodite's Garden."

The room went back to it's raucous state as you stepped aside for a moment, head pounding from a headache. You had a cold and staying up all night studying for scholarship tests did not help. You knew you had to pass them though. You weren't willing to give your parents another reason to demean you for being a burden.

You were massaging your temples when Seungmin came up from behind you. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice laced with concern.

"Yep," you tried to muster a positive tone, "Just a headache. I'm peachy."

"Peachy?" Seungmin inquired, his eyebrow cocked upwards and tone full of mischief.

"Don't assume that I don't use the word peachy unironically," you huffed.

Still, Seungmin's apprehensive expression and the exponentially increasing pounding in your head made you feel your gut that something bad was brewing.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You, Jeongin and Hyunjin waited patiently in the computer lab the next day. Hyunjin and Riya had made the mood board for Aphrodite's Garden, but wanted the input of you, Seungmin and Jeongin.

All three of you stood near the window, peering out of the glass and observing the ant-like players on the soccer field below. You wondered what was so appealing about kicking a ball on a Saturday morning.

Hyunjin looked troubled, "I want to ask Riya to prom. But I don't know how."

You let out a sneeze in response and Hyunjin wordlessly handed you a tissue, the despair never leaving his face.

You slightly understood the reasoning behind Hyunjin's thinking. It was promposal season, people planning elaborate and innovative ways to ask each other to prom. Considering the high school you were at, this more often than not involved Rube Goldberg machines and periodic table confessions.

Jeongin let out an audibly exasperated huff of breath. "If you like Riya, just ask her out. The worst she could say is no."

Before you could add onto Jeongin's admonishment, a voice cut through the room.

"What?"

Your eyes widened as you clapped your hand to your mouth. Hyunjin felt himself stumble backwards and Jeongin muttered a low "Fuck" under his breath.

Judging by the tone of the voice and familiar sweetness, you knew it could only belong to one person. Time felt like a concept out of grasp as you, Hyunjin and Jeongin turned to face Riya, standing in the doorway with shock painted on her face.

"I- I can't," she tripped over the doorstep, "Look, I'll just send them to you, I-"

Riya steadied herself, holding on the the doorframe, and then fled the room. Hyunjin glanced at you, his eyes full of pleading.

"Go, quickly," you commanded, and he rushed out of the room in Riya's stead.

"See, this is why you're my favorite," Hyunjin told you while ruffling you, scowling at Jeongin. You sniffed in response as Jeongin's jaw clenched.

Just then, Seungmin entered the room, giving both Hyunjin and Riya and irritated glare. "Weren't they supposed to show us something?"

"They'll just send it to one of us," you told Seungmin, your voice coming out weaker than expected.

"You know what," Jeongin threw his hands up in the air in rage, "Fuck this. If they are out, I am out."

Seungmin stared at you quizzically, as if trying to unravel the pieces of the puzzle that made you, well, you. His eyes must have taken in your sickness - stricken state because the curiosity on his face morphed into concern.

"Are you okay?" Seungmin asked, stepping closer to you.

"Fine," you choked out, but you knew you weren't.

Your head felt like a thousand drills were screwing into it. You felt hot and cold at the same time, throat parched and dry. Your body felt like lead, being weighed down at ever movement. You knew these were the textbook symptoms of a fever and then some more.

You tried to walk forward, but couldn't hold your balance. Dazed, you felt your consciousness slowly slip away due to the lack of sleep you were forcing yourself to put up with it. Exhaustion didn't come to you in raindrops, it came to you in a torrential shower.

The last thing you felt was Seungmin's arms holding you up as your entire world shrouded in darkness.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When you came to, you were still in the classroom, water droplets running down your face. Seungmin looked guilty and the bottle of water in his hand told you everything you needed to know.

"Sorry," Seungmin said sheepishly, "I didn't know what else to do."

You waved him off, still trying to fully gain control of your senses. You blinked slowly and languidly, adjusting slowly to the light. The sudden shift from complete darkness to windows that let in natural light was slightly painful.

You placed your palms flat against the floor, where Seungmin had most likely placed you. The cool sting of the marble tiles was a welcoming sensation, the bite of it rebooting your brain. You straightened your skirt but your head was still fucking hurting.

"What exactly happened?" you asked weakly.

You knew that women were often taken advantage of in such situations. You knew you could trust Seungmin with your life though. He would never hurt you in any sense, and the past few weeks only solidified that fact for you. Still, asking was like second nature for you.

"Oh, uhm, you fell and I caught you and somehow managed to lean you against the wall," Seungmin stuttered.

He let out a weary sigh and rubbed his eyes vigorously. It was almost as if he was the one who had just fainted and was sitting on a cold marble floor. The thought made you laugh, but the way your chest constricted in pain when the laugh travelled up your bones made you push it down.

"Let's-" you managed until you let out a sneeze, "Let's get back to work. Hyunjin or Riya must have sent the designs by now."

Seungmin looked at you, appalled. "No. Are you insane? You probably are. I'm taking you back to your dorms and making you something warm to eat, no questions asked."

"Seungmin, you don't have to," you let out, your voice hoarse. But despite your mental and vocal protests, your body couldn't fight it anymore. It was begging, screaming for help and you had ignored it wrong enough."

Seungmin set you a look that could kill and held out his palm. You grabbed onto it, and with his help stood up. You legs were so weak, however, that you fell forward again. The world was spinning and you were falling and falling until you weren't.

The entire time, only one thought rang over and over again in your head, like a sickly song.

Was success, was making the people around you proud, was your hard work really worth this form of self inflicted torture you were putting yourself through?

Seungmin's arms steadied your waist as you arms flew up to his shoulders. You were in close proximity now, close enough that you could see your reflection in his eyes. God, you looked like shit.

The concern in his eyes and the pain you were both mentally and physically going through finally made you snap.

Without warning, tears filled your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. You were so, so tired. Seungmin didn't say anything, but he understood. Of course he understood. You couldn't deny it any longer. Being compared and set against each other didn't make you two poles on other sides of your respective worlds; in fact, it did the very opposite.

You were so accustomed to the thought of each other, that you had become a reflection of each other. There was no Y/N L/N without Kim Seungmin and no Kim Seungmin without Y/N L/N.

Your lives had become so intricately intertwined that the thought of a world without Seungmin, without the jabs and maddening nicknames, without the warm smiles that were solely reserved for you when somebody made an out of pocket comment at one of your student council meetings, felt impossible.

You felt your arms effortlessly slip down Seungmin's shoulder and around his waist. Your head automatically found a spot on his chest. You knew that your tears were staining his shirt, you knew that you were helpless and vulnerable, but you didn't care.

Seungmin kept you anchored as your mind swam through every dark tunnel that dug itself throughout your life. This time, you weren't frolicking in them. This time, you weren't finding solace in them because of your self proclaimed incompetence.

This time, you were sealing them shut for good and the only reason you could was because you knew Seungmin was there. He was there, he was there, he was there.

When Seungmin lightly placed his chin over your head, you didn't mind being short. His hands soothingly smoothed your hair over and over again as you noiselessly let out all the pent up emotions and feelings that grew into this black hole that was sucking the life out of you.

You stepped back. "I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"It's fine, you're good," he whispered softly.

Holding you forearm gently, he walked you out of the room you both were in and in the direction of your dorm. You furiously rubbed at your cheeks, attempting to lose any indication of you previously pathetic state, but you stopped when a shot of something you hadn't felt in a long time rushed back to you: indifference.

In this moment, you didn't care that the regality with which you held yourself in front of Seungmin  and the world was soiled under your feet.

All you cared about was that you finally had a person who would hold you while you break and pick up the pieces with you when you were ready, mending you and healing and hell, loving you back to a state of somewhat living.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your hands were shaking so much and your vision was so blurry when you tried to unlock your dorm room door that Seungmin had to ease the key out of your finger. He slid it in and with a click, the door swung upon.

You pulled out strength from the nooks and crannies of your being to actually change into something comfortable. Seungmin surprisingly also had a change of clothes in his bag, until you later remembered that he had baseball matches every Saturday morning at dawn.

You came out of your room wearing cat faced pajamas that were a little big for you but cozy nonetheless. Seungmin looked you up and down with a smirk on his face.

"Shall I call you kitty cat now?" his tone heavy with fake torment and real intention.

There was no way you were getting out of this one.

"Shut up, puppy," you referenced the small puppy face on his t-shirt as you padded towards the bar stools that stood along your kitchen counter.

"Okay, kitty cat," he grinned while you groaned.

In the fifteen minutes Seungmin had spent inside your dorm room, he had located the medicine cabinet and slid a bottle of Tylenol and a spoon. You withered under his expectant stare and duly obliged.

"Fair warning," Seungmin said casually as he took out some instant ramen and a saucepan, "I'm a horrible cook."

You probably would have flipped him off for his easy-going tone while saying that he could food poison you if he wasn't the reason you were in the comfort of your home right now.

"Just don't give me acidity. I would probably die and if I do, best believe I'll come back to haunt your ass," you muttered.

"Relax," Seungmin's tone was slightly offended, "Have faith in me. I can make at least instant ramen."

"If you insist," you sighed.

Seungmin passed the bowl of steaming hot ramen towards you, vapor still rising from it. You blew on it and took a bite, the heat instantly making you feel better. Seungmin sat beside you and began eating as well. You both lunched in silence, only the sounds of your spoons hitting your bowls and the occasional slurp filling the room.

You let out a yawn and Seungmin was quick to tell you that the instructions on the instructions stated that you had to wait an hour before sleeping if you had eaten anything after administering it.

To kill time, you suggested watching something on television. Seungmin joined you on the couch. You wrapped a warm blanket around you while Seungmin shifted through your Netflix catalogue, evidently pleased with your taste in media.

You started speaking, "You know, I was thinking of watching -"

At the same time Seungmin began, "I was actually planning on starting -"

"Three Body Problem," you both finished at the same time.

Reflections, reflections.

Seungmin played the first episode and you both watched in transfixed awe and silence. Seungmin kept checking on you in between though. It was never something major, but small things, like handing you the only pillow on the couch and passing a bottle of water at regular intervals.

"Wow," you said breathlessly as if you yourself were in that setting, "Any theories?"

Seungmin gritted his teeth, "Multiple, actually, but I have read the books and that would be fair, would it kitty cat?"

You pouted at him and he laughed his devious laugh.

"You can go, if you need to," you told Seungmin, "I'll get some rest. Riya will probably be home soon for a few hours."

"No, I'll stay out of the goodness of my heart," Seungmin smirked.

You snorted, "Out of the goodness of your heart, or out of the goodness of wanting to steal something?"

"Maybe I'll take your bunny slippers. They're the only thing worth committing a crime in this dorm for," Seungmin mocked, the slippers you were currently wearing coming I'm intentionally violent contact with his leg.

"Seriously though, thank you for helping me. I wouldn't have expected it from someone who hates me," you said, not thinking much of it.

"I don't hate you," said Seungmin, and your worlds collided to come to a standstill.

Every perception you had for yourself was destroyed with the utterance of four words. I don't hate you. The walls you had built of rivalry and animosity, of surpassing him and opposing him came crashing down and burying you in rubble underneath.

If all you had worked towards was to dismantle the justification of Seungmin's fabricated hatred, and yet he never hated you in the first place, then what was the point? Does that mean that you were never truly doing any of this for yourself, and only because of him?

If he didn't exist, what would you be?

You realized that you were probably reading too much into it and let out a hollow, "I thought you did."

Seungmin shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I just considered you a worthy opponent that would help me improve myself. If anything, I respect you. In fact, these last few days have led me to see you as a friend."

You realized that it was time you apologized as well. "I'm really sorry too. I shouldn't have treated you so crossly."

Understanding and amusement flooded Seungmin's features. "No, please don't change. Bickering with you is one of the highlights of my day."

A smile tugged at your lips. "Okay, puppy boy. I'll go get some rest. What will you be doing?"

Seungmin winked at you. "Looking for things useful to steal, of course."

You lightly shoved his shoulder and he shook his head, shaking with laughter. Seungmin's hair bounced up and down as he laughed, pitifully, at his own joke.

You went to bed with a reducing migraine, a lighter heart and a new perception of you relationship with Kim Seungmin.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

As soon as your head hit the pillow, you were completely knocked out. When you woke, you felt weirdly feverish. You sighed bitterly, knowing that it would take you time to recover.

You walked out to the living room the check up on Seungmin. The sight which you found before you made you mentally melt into a puddle.

In front of you was a sleeping Kim Seungmin, legs brought to his chest and cheeks puffed out. His chest heaved rhythmically and small puffs of breath escaped his mouth. His hair covered his eyes and he was in the most compact position you had seen. You suppressed a snort.

You knew the kindest thing you could for him was to let him sleep. You knew the kindest thing you could do for yourself was to take pictures for blackmail material. Slipping your phone out of your back pocket, you quickly snapped a picture.

Foolishly, you forgot to turn off the flash and Seungmin stirred in his sleep. He got up with a start and blinked slowly. His eyes found yours and he blinked once more.

Then, with a slow smile, he said, "Hi."

If you thought you were a puddle before, you were now a stream rushing towards the ocean. "Hello."

Seungmin sprang up, "Feeling better?"

"Hm," you responded.

You watched as Seungmin made his way to the kitchen, shuffling with the cups you had inside your mildly messy cupboards. "I'll make coffee. Two sugars right?" he asked matter of factly.

"Yep," you replied in slight surprise, "It's crazy how you still remember. It's been... what, six weeks since your last student council coffee run?"

Seungmin's back was to you, mixing away the milk and coffee granules. "I remember everything about you."

You heart shouldn't have stuttered the way it did, and for once, you didn't try to stop it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - three months.

"Han Jisung," you yelled into your phone, "I will kill you!"

Static emerged from the other side, but you could still make out Jisung's muffled giggle. "Y/N, bestie, bad bitch, my ride or die, just get cookies."

You hung up the phone call in irritation as Seungmin leaned against the window of the bus stop, observing you with a smile. You shot him a grimace which was poorly disguised as a smile, and he burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Cookies it is I guess," he snickered at your misfortune.

"We're splitting the bill," you announced haughtily, and you both walked side by side to the local grocery store.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The cold air of the grocery store nipped at you, making its under your shirt and through your jeans. You rage towards a particular Han Jisung, however, propelled you towards the baked goods and sweets section. Seungmin tailed behind you, his hand holding on to your jacket sleeve.

The conquest in question was to get one of the people in your grade, Jisung, to help provide entertainment for the school prom. Him and two other seniors who had already passed out, Chan and Changbin, were part of a trio named 3racha. The entire school knew of their laurels; they had been signed to a famous company before even graduating high school.

Jisung told you to meet at their studio after school to discuss prom, assuring you that they would provide music and maybe even dj on the side. Right before you and Seungmin were going to leave however, he had the absolute audacity to tell you that his hyungs needed a lot of convincing.

You scanned all the decorative tin boxes, trying to pick out something cheap that would also suffice for the treacherous endeavor you were about to undertake. Sometime during this process, the familiar tug of Seungmin's hand on your sleeve vanished.

You surveyed the room to find where he was, like a mother looking for her son. When you finally spotted his familiar tuft of hair and tall frame, you let out a slightly fond and extremely exasperated sigh.

While you were actually working, Seungmin was busy waving two cones of ice cream towards you. You grabbed the box of cookies you were eyeing and walked towards him.

"Really, Seungmin?" you dryly questioned.

"I have an unnatural craving for butterscotch. If you don't let me have it, I'll go Edward Cullen on you," he retorted.

You seriously regretted persuading Seungmin into watching Twilight with you. Ever since the little sick spell you had which prompted Seungmin to spend time at your dorm, you both began a mini tradition of watching a movie together once every week.

You would play the movie on your respective laptops and call each other, listening on mute bar the occasional theoretical conversations and joint rants about the main character's absolute stupidity.

It all started when he began pestering you about table colors for the prom banquet ("but I don't see the difference between ivory and off-white!"), but you interrupted by saying that it movie night and that you were rewatching Interstellar. Both your movie preferences and haywire sleep schedules being very similar led to Seungmin asking you if he could watch as well.

The rest, as they say, was history.

You finally relented and you and Seungmin stepped out of the store with a split bill, a box of cookies under your arm and ice creams currently being devoured. You opted for Belgian Chocolate while Seungmin wolfed down butterscotch. You finished your ice creams and tossed your wrappers in the bin outside.

You noticed a spot of ice cream near Seungmin's lip. Without thinking anything of it, you pulled your sleeve and swiped at it, cleaning it in one go. Seungmin glanced at you with a mixture of awe, shock, and something you assumed was adoration.

"It's just ice cream," you mumbled, but the atmosphere of comfort and domesticity hit you just as much as it healed him.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The two of you got on the bus and found two empty seats beside each other. After you vehemently listed the cons of sitting in an aisle seat, Seungmin finally conceded into letting you sit near the window. He didn't do so without insulting your height (again), claiming that since he was tall he would need to stretch his legs, but you wouldn't be having such issues at all.

The bus ride to the 3racha studio would take a good forty five minutes. Not because it was far, per se, but because traffic was a little shit.

You both were on your phones, and you scrolled aimlessly through social media. You let out a groan of annoyance.

"What is it?" asked Seungmin.

"Just Riya and Hyunjin being disgustingly adorable. Go ahead, take pleasure in my despair," you offered, full of snark.

"I mean, if you insist," Seungmin grinned.

Ever since Riya and Hyunjin's dramatic love confession and Victorian romance-esque scenario, you had been third wheeling to the point where you were third wheeling without even being near them. Hyunjin and Riya being in a relationship did make you crave one of your own, but you were kind of to not let an innocent victim (see also: Yang Jeongin) fall captive to the perils of being a third wheel.

You were drifting in and out of reality, immersed in a science fiction eBook loaded onto you phone. Or at least, you were, until animated video game noises came from Seungmin's phone. You peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing, and burst into a fit of stifled laughter.

"How can you be so bad at Fruit Ninja of all games," you giggled.

Seungmin glared at you, "As if you're any better."

"I am, in fact," you snorted, your tone full of invitation and open to challenge.

It took just those four words and the smug expression on your face for Seungmin to quickly switch to multiplayer mode. The two of you vigorously tapped at your screens, slicing watermelons and mangos. Seungmin swiping was so arbitrary that he couldn't even cut through a fruit half the time.

You shoulder was pressed against Seungmin's and your chin hovered over it. You thought you both were being soft enough so as to not disturb anyone, but an old woman sitting in front of you coughed in what you assumed was contempt.

Blood rushed to your cheeks in embarrassment as you and Seungmin both bowed apologetically. You were expecting a lengthy sermon on public discipline, but the old woman broke into a smile instead.

"Always cherish your childhood friendships and childhood loves," she winked at the two of you, "Especially when it seems to be a love as free as the one you both share."

You and Seungmin exchanged confused looks.

"We're not-"

"About that-"

You were tripping over your words, stumbling and falling until Seungmin finally mustered, "We're not dating, or in love or anything."

The woman just laughed in response. She got up from her chair and left with an "If you say so!", leaving both you and Seungmin stunned in her wake. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You and Seungmin sat cramped in the 3racha studio couch. You couldn't quite call this room a studio. It was more of a musically inclined man cave.

Jisung, Changbin and Chan sat across from you, their legs ridiculously crossed over the other at the exact same angles. Jisung nibbled on the cookies that you brought. He smiled at another one of your death glares.

Chan clapped his hands together, "You know what? We would love to play at your prom. Changbin and I are alumni and Jisung is bitchless anyways."

Jisung swatted at Chan's arm with his cookie while Changbin swooped in to claim a cookie of his own. Amidst the chaos, you and Seungmin let out a sigh of relief.

"You can send us the transaction details at our email," said Changbin, scribbling it on a notepad. His booming voice made you jump in surprise.

"Cool, we'll do that soon. Before we go, can I use the restroom?" Seungmin inquired.

Chan rattled off the directions to the restroom and Seungmin left with a pat on your head and a "Don't miss me too much, darling."

"We'll get back to work now, Y/N," Chan said kindly.

You shot him a smile which remained on your face until Changbin snickered, "Yeah, Jisung can keep you company."

The two of them went inside their studio booth, erupting with giggles that turned into fake coughs which once again morphed into real coughs. You shot Jisung a quizzical look. "Oh, that's because I used to like you," Jisung said through a mouthful of cookie.

You weren't taken aback, unfazed by his sudden admission. Jisung has had a crush on almost the entire student body, regardless of gender. You would be kidding if you said that you didn't have a soft spot for Jisung though. He was your seatmate in chemistry class (a horrible one at that), but also the reason why you ran for student council president in the first place.

"You would be good at it," he encouraged you, even though you knew his ulterior motives.

You were presently reaching for a cookie when Jisung stated casually, "I didn't know you were dating Seungmin."

You choked on your cookie. "What? We aren't. Why would you think that?"

There was no way in hell you and Seungmin could ever be mixed up for a couple. Yes, your feelings of hatred towards him had considerably dampened, but that didn't mean that you liked liked him. Everything you felt towards him was strictly professional and only had to do with prom planning, as you would regularly reassure yourself.

Jisung shrugged. "The nicknames, the looks you were giving each other. I mean, you both are alike. It wouldn't be that out of the blue of you were."

You responded with a huff of indignation, assuming that this was Jisung's way of asking you if you were single.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"We are not watching Twilight," you told Seungmin sternly. He pouted at you but you wouldn't budge, not even an inch.

Seungmin and you were back on the bus, the sky painted in beautiful shades of blue. The bus was quiet, you and Seungmin being the only passengers on there. Deciding to kill time because evening traffic would cause the bus to take even longer, Seungmin suggested watching something on his tablet.

"Let's watch the Vampire Diaries instead!" Seungmin said in excitement.

You stared at him, mouth agape. "What is it with you and vampires?"

"It's either that or Mean Girls," Seungmin offered.

You instantly knew what you would watch. Suffering through Seungmin watching Mean Girls and adopting Regina George's personality would be pure agony. There were many things you could tolerate in life, but Seungmin taking up the persona of his favorite characters after watching something knew was not one of them. Knowing Seungmin, you didn't have a shred of doubt that his favorite would be Regina.

"Vampire Diaries it is," you agreed, "But Damone is mine."

Seungmin offered no objection and handed you one side of his wired earphones. You had to sit in extremely close proximity to Seungmin, close enough that you could feel his breath on your cheek. Your head subconsciously dropped on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against your hair.

Seungmin smelled like cinnamon and rain. You wondered what perfume he used, but then realized that it would be pointless since any and all perfume would have worn out by then. After that you began to ponder about what Disney movie he had stepped out of to smell so good and look so good despite spending hours either outside or in a cramped studio.

Finally, your train of thought took a sharp, final turn.

You were comfortable, pressed up against Seungmin and making sarcastic comments every so often. It felt normal, natural even. It struck you that your head fit under Seungmin's chin like a missing puzzle piece.

The pieces of your brain and the pieces of his heart joined together to form a beautiful mosaic of shared chaos and resilience that was unique only to the odd relationship you both shared.

Maybe it wasn't so absurd that two people had assumed that you both were in a relationship. Maybe you didn't want it to be so absurd. Maybe you wanted it to be something that wouldn't cause you and Seungmin to dismiss with hurried explanations and laughs full of ridicule.

That was enough thinking for today.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[10:17 PM]

puppy boy: i have come here to tell you that i am willing to risk our friendship

[10:18 PM]

You: /what/ friendship?

[10:18 PM]

puppy boy: fine, i'm willing to risk out not friendship for claiming damone salvatore

puppy boy: talk to hand if you have any arguments

puppy boy: ✋🏻

[10:19 PM]

You: lmao not you acting like damone would choose *you* over *me*

[10:19 PM]

puppy boy: ...

puppy boy: ok well i can't rly argue with that

puppy boy: if i was damone, i would choose you in a heartbeat

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - two months and twenty six days.

The most fascinating thing that you had studied about in your astronomy class were binary stars. They were the most common multi star system, found regularly in pockets of the universe. They were immensely important, aiding in the calculation of things like mass of celestial bodies.

But one could not exist without the other.

A binary star was useless without it's counterpart, just another ball of glowing gas drifting about in the universe. You reckoned that humans also had their version of binary stars, people whose lives were so intertwined with each other that having one without the other stripped both entities of their meaning.

In astronomy, they were called binary stars. On earth, they were called soulmates.

That was what you and Seungmin were, stars that shone brightly in your shared skies but instead of dimming the other, only amplified it. You both were natural satellites, celestial bodies gravitating into each other's pull like a two magnets.

Seungmin drew you in like nobody else did, and you were tired of repelling it. If the earth had reversed it's poles so many times in the past, then in the grand scheme of things, you reversing your perception of Seungmin should have been nothing that would warrant a big deal.

But to you, this was your entire perception of a black and white reality being ripped away and slowly rebuilt in color.

Considering that the person behind all of it was Seungmin, these colors were more often than not so vivid and vibrant that it left you craving more of what life could be like if he would be there mending every crack in your universe.

It left you craving more of what life could be like if the term my universe in your dictionary changed to our universe.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You and Seungmin were sitting together in the library. Well, less sitting together and more having a habit of happening to be there at the same time (which was almost all the time). This caused you both to strike up a habit of unknowingly taking a seat beside the other person.

Seungmin was leafing through a book while you silently observed him. "What is it?" he piped up, his eyes never leaving his book, "What do you want to ask me?"

You placed a finger between the pages of the book you were reading and shrugged. "Nothing much, really. How did you know I was wondering about something anyways?"

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours. "I just know. Now, what is it?"

His impatient gaze and curious eyes tempted you into telling him what was making rounds in your head. You found yourself thinking for the umpteenth time how his hair fell into his face so perfectly, making him a vision that seemed like a painting encased in a Parisian museum.

"Your eyes," you whispered, your tone so imperceptible that a another human being would have barely heard you.

Seungmin always heard your voice, though.

"What about them?" he chuckled.

You titled your head to the side, wondering if you yourself were imagining all of this. "Did you know your eyes change color when you look at me?"

It was true, at least to you. You noticed that whenever Seungmin's gaze caught onto yours, his eyes darkened. Not in the terrifying way often associated with bloodlust, but in the puzzled way that made you feel like he was trying to figure you out, just as you were trying to figure yourself out.

"It's just a telling sign for my animosity towards you," taunted Seungmin, attempting to ignite a fiery response out of you.

It somewhat mildly worked.

"Oh yeah," you gasped, "Ello will be troubled to know that her parents are fighting.

"Hm," contemplated Seungmin, "Who's gonna be the one to tell her that she's a child of divorce?"

Seungmin's comment caught you off guard. Child of divorce? It was so out of pocket that even the tantalizing curve of your lips that had been making you feel unnatural things as of late couldn't distract you.

"We aren't even married, Seungmin," you pointed out.

In response, Seungmin put his book down on the table in front of him. He placed his elbow on the aforementioned table and smoothly removed one of the two rings that he was always wearing: the smaller moon ring to his larger sun ring, you noticed.

He motioned for your hand and in one gesture, slid the moon ring onto your ring finger. "There," he declared proudly, "Now we're married."

He seemed so casual, so unfazed about it, that it enraged you.

Did he not just feel like an entire carton box of fireworks had gone off in an empty parking lot that was his stomach? Did he not get his breath taken away from a gesture that was so simple that a passerby wouldn't even have batted an eye at it? Did he not feel perplexed, terrified and astonished that such a feeling was even possible?

Because you did.

You felt like your world was tilting on it's axis and you couldn't keep letting the lava simmer under the surface anymore.

It felt like the entire universe was in your grasp, like electricity crackled at your fingertips. You felt euphoric, your brain buzzing and mind spinning.

You felt like someone shattered the vase of feelings that contained all you had ever experienced and glued it back together with gold in its cracks. You felt like someone placed rose-tinted sunglasses on your eyes and that you never wanted to go back to normal vision after gaining a taste of what this felt like.

You knew that what you felt was, according to the countless books and movies you had watched, a horrible illness that constituted a crush. But you didn't know that it felt so good? Even more frighteningly so, you didn't know when you stopped seeing Seungmin as a rival and as a friend.

You frighteningly didn't know when you started seeing Seungmin as someone you were capable of loving until you did and it scared you to death concretely only knowing that your brain provided not a single fucking objection to this flurry of feelings.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - two months.

In the time that you had come to the realization that you had feelings for Seungmin, and all the moments post that day, you were in a tumultuous state of mind.

You hadn't told anyone about your feelings, because you weren't sure if they were genuine or if they were a product of you romanticizing the entire atmosphere surrounding you.

You would be so cruel to Seungmin before a few months ago, so neglectful of his feelings that you thought it was foolish to think that he would ever like. It baffled you that he even saw you as a friend; hoping that he would see you as a lover would be akin to grasping for non-existent straws.

You should have told Hyunjin, who viewed love so beautifully that you envied him for it. You should have talked to Jeongin, who didn't see love as poetically as Hyunjin, but had so much of it to spare and never seemed to run out. But you didn't.

Instead, you chose to exist in torturous turmoil, over thinking each and every shared moment you had with Seungmin. If this was what experiencing supposedly unrequited like was going to be for the rest of your life, you sincerely hoped you never went through the pain of it again.

If this was what experiencing supposedly unrequited like was going to be for the rest of your life, you sincerely hoped it didn't become unrequited love.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"And we'll have to meet Felix for his cousin, you know, Lee Minho, who said he'll be open to catering for prom," you finished with an air of finality.

Seungmin bobbed his head in agreement and walked with you towards you locker. He stepped normally, slowing down to keep pace with you. You felt like your legs were lead.

Being near Seungmin made you simultaneously want to combust and make you want to fly.

You reached for you locker and twisted the knob according to your combination, as you did almost everyday. This was like second nature to you, so when you opened you locker, put your books inside and turned around with the intention of facing Seungmin, you certainly weren't expecting what you were met with instead.

Renjun, one of the students of your grade, stood facing you with a bouquet. You had spoken with Renjun a few times at most, striking up conversation very rarely. You had no idea what warranted him looking at you earnestly, hoping that he was waiting for someone else.

Of course you were wrong.

"Hey Y/N, um... I have liked you for a very long time and I wanted to ask if you would go to prom with me," Renjun stuttered.

To say you were in shock was an understatement. Dating was the furthest thing from your mind, regardless of whether or not you had feelings for anyone, Seungmin included. While you did feel a surge of ego at being asked out for prom, you weren't in any way, shape, or form, expecting it.

This also meant that you weren't prepared for what you were going to do if you wanted to accept a promposal, which in turn meant you had even less of an idea of what to do if your intention was to reject a promposal.

You instantly felt pity on him and remorseful for what you were about to do.

"Oh Renjun, I'm really sorry but I barely know you. On top of that, I'll be really busy with student council and just be the reason your night to be ruined," you told him softly.

Renjun looked at you crestfallen. "Oh yeah, no, you're right. I'm sorry for bothering you. Can we grab coffee sometime though?"

Before you could respond, Seungmin interjected. "Yes, yes, that's all nice but we have to go. People to see, places to be. Just text her when and where."

With that, Seungmin dragged you away. You wanted to protest but were internally cartwheeling instead.

It was probably your imagination, probably caffeinated emotions, but you thought you saw a flash of jealousy in Seungmin's charming eyes.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"What was that about?" you snorted.

"That was me having to be inconvenienced because my partner doesn't know how to respond when a guy asks her out," Seungmin snapped.

Not friend. No colleague or co-president. Not even your name. But partner.

You weren't sure how to feel about that.

"Why do you hate prom so much Seungmin?" you sighed, changing the topic.

Seungmin shrugged in response but you pressed on. "It's okay puppy. No matter how embarrassing, I won't judge."

You crossed your fingers over your heart, but Seungmin just looked at you with melancholy in his eyes. Your teasing smile fell.

"It's a long story," Seungmin said. His hands were in his pocket and he was kicking at a rock on the pavement.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," you told him, your voice full of guilt for asking.

"No, I will," he responded, "You deserve that much."

Seungmin finally began, "You know how I have an older sister, right? She's in college right now, but back when she was in high school, she was really smart. Smarter then me smart. I know right. Crazy? Anyways, she was very much type casted as a nerd and even though she was well liked, nobody wanted to date her. That was, until, prom came around. A guy asked her out and she was over the moon."

You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach, knowing where this was about to go.

"She wasn't even romantically interested in him, but was so excited that someone had for once, shown some interest towards her that she instantly said yes. I still remember how she wouldn't stop talking about it. She got ready, buying her own dress and everything, using money from her part time job that she was saving for university. She looked ethereal that night. I still remember all of it, even if it was five years ago. But she was stood up. Turns out the entire was a dare, a sick joke. Her final straw was when she saw the guy who asked her out walk into the prom venue with another girl on his arm."

Your heart broke for Seungmin's sister. You couldn't even imagine how it must have felt. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, however, Seungmin opened his mouth once again.

He continues bitterly, "She was so heartbroken that she went to one of those afterparties, that's basically a rave. She drank so much alcohol that it got to the point where she was passed out on someone's hospital. We had to rush her to the hospital and get all of it pumped out. It felt so painful, being thirteen and watching my sister just suffer in pure agony."

Seungmin's voice broke, "She almost died last night, physically. But mentally, she was wrecked. It was on her hospital records, this incident. None of the Ivies, or any university even remotely good accepted her. She finally got into Stanford, but that was after writing several scholarship tests and paying a hefty fee. She's never really been the same since."

When Seungmin's sermon came to an end, you felt his hurt ten times over. Tears glistened in his eyes and without warning, you pulled him in for a hug. You felt Seungmin let out a shaky breath and held him close.

"Your hair smells like strawberries. It's highly concerning. Fruit based shampoos are dumb," he mumbled into your hair.

"Shut up and stop ruining the moment or else I'll let go," you warned.

In response, Seungmin just held you tighter. When he let go, he swiped at his eyes and gave you a grateful smile. "Sorry. And thank you," he told you with a tight smile.

You just nodded in response. "Hey, I understand why you hate prom. I can take over for you on the actual night," you offered with a squeeze of his hand."

Seungmin shook his head in response, "No, I'll be there. It wouldn't be fair to all of you if I wasn't. But you should go with Renjun. Being tethered to someone who has an outlook like me would just make the night boring as hell for you."

The possibility of going to prom with Renjun when Seungmin was right there was something you found utterly ridiculous. It made no sense, no sense at all to go with someone you had no feelings for. Going to prom with Renjun would hurt both him and you.

Seungmin's glazed expression sent an arrow straight into your heart, piercing and deafening. You refused to let him drown in sorrow. "Absolutely not, Kim Seungmin. If I said you're coming to prom with me, you're coming to prom with me."

You didn't allow any room for further argument, shutting Seungmin up with a defiant stare. You wanted Seungmin to enjoy prom, you truly did. But you knew that this wasn't the complete truth. You had a much more selfish, concealed motive.

You were going to make Kim Seungmin fall in love with prom, while falling in love with you as well.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - one month and three days.

[9:06 PM]

You: oi seungmin

You: we still meeting up at the library to wrap up all the finally details?

[9:07 PM]

seungmine (hopefully someday): Yep.

You could somehow tell that something was bothering Seungmin, just by reading that last text. You caught your lip between your teeth as you got ready to go to the library, his dry tone throwing you off. Seungmin was pretty much a dry texter, but always followed it up with something absurd. Today however, he didn't. Hell, he even used proper punctuation.

The entirety of the mini 'meeting' that you had consisted of only you talking and Seungmin responding with one or two words. If you were lucky, he would look your way, but your luck mostly fell short.

You snapped your binder shut and asked, "Everything good?"

Seungmin just blinked in response, the boredom and sense of being done evident in his eyes. He didn't reply and instead proceeded to swing his bag around his shoulder and stand up.

You tried once again. "I was going to go shopping for prom dresses. Do you want to match colors? Let me know what you plan on wearing."

Seungmin spared you a half glance. "Yeah sure, wear whatever. I don't really care."

You felt tears prick in his eyes. How could he just not care? You were willing to give up fun and sacrifice romance so that Seungmin could have someone to spend time with. You were doing all this and for what? Being told that he didn't care?

You felt so heavy that you spit out, "You know what? Fine. I wanted to go to prom with you so that you would have someone to be with. I knew, I knew that we would have to be stuck together all night, socializing and making sure nobody burns the school down or spikes the punch bowl. But that doesn't mean that I don't want prom to feel authentic, to go as a normal teenager."

You continued, "I'm not even asking you for the grand promposal that I have been dreaming about since I was nine. I'm just asking you to do the bare minimum, if not as my prom date, which you agreed to might I add, but at least as the person who I share the title of co-president with. You cannot keep disregarding my feelings Seungmin. I'm sick and tired of it. I understand that you hate prom but it's you who keeps insisting on coming, it's you who keeps saying that it won't be fair if you aren't there which is ironic, because you most definitely aren't being fair right now."

Seungmin stared at you, jaw slightly hung open, but the fire inside you kept raging.

"I know you don't see me as a date and that's fine but at least show me some modicum of respect. You didn't even let me complete my question; it wasn't me asking about matching prom attire. It was Principal Kim who suggested asking you about it. And you know that a suggestion from her is nothing short of law."

The tears in your eyes were threatening to spill out now as you mentally cursed yourself for ever even thinking that you could have feelings for someone like him.

"So, Kim Seungmin, if you don't want to go prom, or if you want to be a whiny little bitch about it, it's fine with me. Text me if you're going. If you won't, I'll just assume you aren't. You can do whatever the fuck you want because I'm sick for pitying you when you clearly aren't deserving of it. Go ahead and fucking ruin prom for yourself, but don't you dare tarnish the experience for me."

Before Seungmin could even anything, you grabbed your backpack and walked away, blinking back tears as you thought about how cold and lonely prom would be without anybody by your side to spend the night with. Hyunjin had Riya. Jeongin had a roster of senior girls willing to go out with him.

But you? At the end of the day, every single day, you were all alone. You let your intrusive thoughts in, swirling in your head and nearly paralyzing your capacity to think.

What if the reason why you were alone was all your fault? What if you were too pushy, too rude for your own good? None of that mattered, though, because thinking about the situation never changed the situation.

You would be alone, no matter how hard you tried otherwise, and that was the bitter truth you had to learn to live with.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[5:28 PM]

Kim Seungmin: i am so sorry y/n

Kim Seungmin: please answer my calls

[6:36 PM]

You: I have sent the details regarding the electronic equipment.

You: Make sure to contact them.

[6:36 PM]

Kim Seungmin: please let me make it up to you.

Kim Seungmin: please.

[7:05 PM]

You: Let me know once you contact them.

You: Don't bother texting me otherwise.

You: My phone will be on dnd since I'm going out.

You: Call me only if it's urgent. I think you should be more than capable of handling the situation now, but just in case. Don't expect me to respond to you about anything else.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You were avoiding Seungmin as if he carried a deadly virus. You dodged him in hallways and expertly deflected any and all of his attempts to talk to you. The one place you couldn't avoid where you knew he would be, however, was the library.

You needed to return one of your library books. Today was the last day and not doing so would led to you paying a fine. You couldn't afford a payable fees right now, since most of the savings from your part time job and the money your parents would regularly send you would be going towards buying your prom gown.

Okay, fine. Maybe you wanted to give Seungmin a chance to properly apologize. But that's absurd and not important right now.

Your headphones were jammed in your ears, music pounding through them while you walked in its direction. People thought that you had an affinity for listening to classical music since you came under the categorization of an 'over-achieving nerd.'

You knew that society also known as your school, would break out into scandal if they ever found out that Kendrick Lamar was your top artist on Spotify.

That thought brought you back to Seungmin, as you giggled at the memory of his confusion while you were explaining the entire Drake and Kendrick beef to him. His nose was scrunched up and his eyes were squinted, listening to you as if you were preaching about the secrets of life and the universe, not ranting about rap music.

Oh wait. You were supposed to hate Seungmin. Not giggle at the memories of the time you spent together like a middle aged woman recounting her college days.

When you got to the library, you placed your bag on Mrs. Kang's table and took out the book you were supposed to return.

You handed it to her with a strained smile. "Hey, I am on time though, aren't I Mrs. Kang? Plus, this is just a first time offence. I'm sure you can let it slide."

Mrs. Kang raised her eyebrow. "Fine, just this once," she slid the book underneath the scanner and mentioned, "Oh, you should go check out the Romantic Literature section; we finally got sent The Vicar of Wakefield."

You looked at her, puzzled. You were never really interested in works that emerged during the age of early eighteenth century Romanticism. She must have mixed you up with somebody else, but you began to walk towards the shelves anyways. If anything would help lighten your spirits, it would be re-reading Pride and Prejudice.

When you got there however, the most unexpected sight awaited you.

Your eyes drank in the sight of Seungmin, standing wearing a varsity jacket, white t-shirt and jeans. Dried rose petals littered the length of the aisle. Seungmin was holding up an open book with it's pages folded to form the word 'Prom?'

As much as you hated to admit it, the sight took your breath away.

Seungmin cocked his head to the side. "I had to bribe her with my limited edition copy of Frankenstein."

"What- what is this?" you asked, your brain still numb from shock.

Seungmin bit his lip and looked at you. "This is me apologizing. You were right. I completely sidelined you when I shouldn't have. I truly respect and admire you and feel horrible that I made you feel like this. And I figured, that I should ask you to prom the way you deserve: with all the grandeur in the world."

His apology was one that you could have never imagined being the recipient of. Even fiction didn't predict something as thoughtful as this. Seungmin preparing an entire promposal for you, over just a hissy fit, was enough to thaw your temporarily frozen heart.

You looked at him open-mouthed. "But I thought you didn't even like me that way."

Despite how hard he tried to contain it, tones of mischief slipped through Seungmin's voice. "Would it be so bad if I did?"

What? This couldn't be real. This was most definitely not happening. You pinched yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming, because never in your wildest dreams would such a scene have ever taken place.

Seungmin must have somehow read your mind because he quickly stuttered, "Not that I do. I mean I like you. But not in that way. Like, I asked you since we have to spend the entire night together anyways. I'm sorry for making this weird."

You let out an exhale, chiding yourself for being so gullible. It was just Seungmin being Seungmin. You spared a glance at his eyes, full of anticipation. You wanted to say no. If you didn't, you knew you would be in too deep.

You took a step forward to refuse his request when your eyes fell on his hand. The sight awaiting you knocked the wind out of your body.

You already noticed Seungmin's baggy eyes, attributing it to lack of sleep because he was busy doing whatever guys do. But his hands told the other half of the story.

They were adorned with paper cuts. Small scars like moons were imprinted on him in various stages of healing. One even had a bit of blood on it.

"Uh, yeah," said Seungmin, noticing your eyes drift down, "I spent all night making it. Let's just say that I'm really bad with paper and folding in any context and leave it at that."

"Seungmin," you whispered, your eyes tearing up. He offered you a tight smile.

"I should go. This was weird. I'm sorry."

"Wait!" you said in a tone that startled him, "I'll go. I'll go to prom with you. Officially."

Seungmin's eyes reflected a question of whether you were doing this genuinely. You hoped that your eyes reflected that you were. Seungmin may not ever come to like you romantically, in any sense. But you were happy with what you were being offered.

You were happy that Seungmin was the first person you thought yourself to have the potential to love.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - shit, it's prom!

You couldn't sleep all night.

The frenzied prolepsis that clouded your mind refused to escape. 'What if's?' and 'Should have's?' regarding the event clouded your head. You thought that you would feel more nervous about your experience at prom, but it was all the planning that got to your head.

If you were a wreck, however, then Seungmin was a fucking natural disaster.

He texted you without pause, your phone blowing up so much that even Riya had to ask you if everything was okay. His chats varied, from long rants about how Die Hard is not a Christmas movie, despite Felix's apparent protests, and immense worry about how prom would turn out.

You didn't blame him. You were just as anxious as him, even if you weren't as vocal about it. This mammoth event was like yours's and Seungmin's baby. You were so concentrated on making sure that everything went according to plan, that the idea of you going to prom with Seungmin was pushed to the dark and dusty corner of your brain.

"You have been texting Seungmin a lot lately," teased Riya as she curled her hair.

"Shut up," you told her smoothly, already armed with blackmail material, "Or else I will smack you and tell Hyunjin about your Shah Rukh Khan shrine."

She effortlessly shut up.

You ran from one room to the other, your dorm house common room and back, pacing and placing calls and confirming and reminding people of what had to be done. You were in such a rush that you hadn't even started to get ready.

In your panicked chaos, you slammed into an already ready Felix. His white suit was immaculate, small roses embroidered on the sides. His blond hair was tousled and his easy smile gave you a bit of reassurance amidst the hectic situations you were constantly throwing yourself in.

"Felix! What are you doing here? You look amazing, by the way." You pulled him in for a quick hug, distracted by a call you had to make.

"I'm here to pick up my date, Jeongin," Felix smirked.

You let out a cough. "What?"

Felix laughed. "I didn't have a date and thought that he deserves to come since he has helped so much. So, I offered him my plus one ticket."

Ah, that made sense. You wondered why Jeongin didn't go with one of the senior girls on his roster of ladies in waiting. Then you remembered that he thought of himself as some sort of a chivalrous gentleman.

"Why haven't you gotten ready yet?" Felix questioned.

"Oh, I was just-," you began, before Felix sternly interrupted you.

"Don't you dare say you were wrapping things up. You and I both know that your definition of wrapping things up is frantically quadruple checking everything," Felix scolded, "You will stop worrying and get ready."

You just sighed in response, "I wish I could but-"

"No buts," he said, his eyes softening. "This night is yours as much as everybody else's. If anything, it's mostly yours."

Before you could sweetly respond to Felix with a resounding refusal, Jisung, per usual, appeared out of thin hair. His suit coat looked a little small and you vaguely remembered yearbook pictures of Chan during his prom, wearing almost the exact same suit coat, minus the little hand stitched lightening bolt on the side pocket.

"This," Jisung motioned towards you with a flourish of his right hand, "Is unacceptable."

Felix promptly agreed. You flashed him a withering glare and he slightly wavered, but it was of no use. You had lost the battle before it had even begun.

Twenty minutes later, you, Jisung and Felix were in your dorm room. No matter your protests, they insisted on helping you get ready for prom night. The two of them did your hair and makeup while you pondered on how you couldn't do it yourself half as good as they did.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When they were done, you gasped in surprise. They made you look a beautiful you thought you weren't capable of outwardly being.

Your dress in itself was majestic, at least in your eyes. It didn't exactly fit the theme, but the moment you saw it, you knew you needed to have it. It marveled you to no end about how someone could leave something that looked so incredible in a small thrift store next to the coffee shop you frequented.

The dress was silver, shimmering in a shade of what you only knew to be 'almost white' when light struck it. The bodice was in the shape of fairy wings, the sides laced crisscrossed and showing the smallest bit of skin. The back was covered, and the dress flowed down to reach your feet like a cascading waterfall. It was sleeveless, and so you wore long, winding silver bracelets on each hand.

Your make was done almost professionally by Felix. He used a colour pallet of silvery white, not exaggerating your make up. He brushed your hair calmly and tied two strands of it in a braid, pull them back to make a sort of halo. Felix clipped butterflies into your hair and made you feel like a mythical creature stepping out from a fantasy novel. Narnia, maybe.

Jisung on the other hand, provided food, gossip and entertainment. You would never reveal this to him, but you found that very vital to the process of getting ready as well.

"You are so good at this," you gushed at Felix.

He looked at you calmly. "I have two sisters, and I'm the middle kid. As a consequence, I was often my older sister's model for all things fashion and my younger sister's personal stylist."

Jisung munched on a piece of cake which you had no idea was even there in your kitchen. He sat on a barstool and clapped when you came out and gave him a spin. His feet rocked back and forth while he cheered you on.

"See," he said to Felix pointedly. "I am a better wingman than you."

Felix looked immeasurably hurt. "Not as good as me though. You didn't even help me!"

"I did, didn't I?" Jisung looked at you with those boba eyes that you found extremely hard to resist.

In response, you ushered them both out of the house in order to not get pulled into conflict and be the cause of an unsatisfactory prom night. Plus, you wanted to get there early and check on the venue.

Well, that and also to (mostly), see Seungmin.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You spotted him before he could see you.

Seungmin looked ethereal in his silver suit, his hair swept to the side and hands in his pockets as he engaged in easy conversation with one of the teachers.

He looked like a song you could listen to for the rest of your life until you were maddened by it but never turn it off. He looked like a painting that you could stare at as it dried, like a work of art you spend countless hours and dollars just to catch a glimpse.

And, he matched with you.

When you mentioned to him in passing that your prom dress was silver in colour, you hadn't actually expected him to wear something of a similar, much less the same colour. And yet he did, and you went down a spiral of feelings once again.

Seungmin's eyes must have found you because he sauntered over to you like a man with a purpose.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in awe, "But then again, you do everyday."

You blushed, hoping that the shitty lighting would hide it. "You look incredible yourself Seungmin," you said lightly, "And you somehow look good everyday, despite only running off of caffeine and spite.

Seungmin threw his head back an infectious laughter that had caused you to laugh as well. Someone called his name from the background in the middle of your laughter. Another louder, more insistent call of his name floated towards your general direction. Seungmin dipped his head in apology and walked away.

He had told you that you look beautiful. Not your dress, not your make up, not your hair. Not the meaningless, material attire that clung onto you like tinsel on a Christmas. But he said that you, you, look beautiful.

Seungmin wasn't looking you up and down when he said so, like men in the movies did. He didn't look like he was trying to memorize your body, memorize the dips and curves where he could place his hand and mold his being into yours.

No, he looked you in the eye when he said at, as if he didn't believe that it was the clothes that made you look beautiful. He looked you in the eye as if everything that made you, well, you was what made you so beautiful in his sight.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You stood in a moment of peace, finally standing still since reaching the venue.

The moment you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, however, a guttural screech and the sound of howling teenage boys flooded your ears. Sighing in irritation, you opened one eye to asses the situation. Deciding that it warranted you opening the other eye as well, you walked over to the culprits and sternly told them off.

You probably jinxed any peace that would possibly be coming your way by stealing away those five minutes for yourself.

Bad karma, bad decisions.

Seungmin was watching the entire altercation with a faint smirk. He walked over to you and tapped you on the shoulder. You didn't know it was him, and were about to tell him off as well until his familiar scent reached you.

You glared at the gaggle of seniors who has no right to be called seniors and turned to Seungmin.

"May I please have this dance?" he asked with a smirk.

You raised an eyebrow at him and placed your hand in his. "The theme is Aphrodite's Garden, not 18th century Regency era Bridgerton," you quipped.

Seungmin was subject to torture at your hands, also known as, watching Bridgerton with you. He would never admit it, but you knew he liked it. In fact, he may have even enjoyed it more than you. Either that, or you were hallucinating him being on his Simone Ashley Twitter fan account.

Your arms went around his neck as Seungmin guided you to the dancefloor. "I can't really dance," you murmured, the close contact between you both making your head go haywire.

"Neither do I," he winked.

Seungmin's eyes bored into yours and you licked your lips self-consciously. Considering you incredible luck, the song was slow and sensual. Considering your incredible luck, less than twenty seconds into the song playing, a loud crashing sound was heard in the background.

You prayed to God to help salvage prom, and no, that god was not Taylor Swift.

"I'll handle it," Seungmin reassured you.

"I'm a big girl," you bristled, "I can handle it as well."

"I know you are," Seungmin mused, "But I also know you well enough to know that those heels are absolutely killing you right now."

You pressed your lips in a thin line. No matter your feelings for Kim Seungmin, you still hated when he was right. You flashed him the tiniest smile in a way of saying 'thank you', since you were too proud to actually do it. He took it in stride and went away to handle whatever it was that needed handling at the moment.

He left you alone with your thoughts if such situations weren't confined so momentarily and were instead something you could enjoy for eternity.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You decided to step out of the venue for a bit, to finally clear you head. The atmosphere of prom buzzed with electricity and it wasn't the good, energetic kind; it was more of the kind that made your hair frizz.

You were standing, staring at the stars when you felt the air shift beside you. You knew who it was even without sparing a glance at them.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," you whispered to him.

"They are, but I have seen sights today that even rival them," Seungmin said. His voice was missing his trademark sass.

Your heart thumped incessantly as you asked, "Trying out cheesy pick up lines on me now, are we?"

Seungmin laughed, "Now would that be so bad?"

You both stood in silence. You bent down, opened your heels and set them to the side. You felt Seungmin looking at you, but you kept looking at the sky.

The sky, which was ever changing, yet reflected the same shades everyday. The sky, that served as a medium of rain and thunder, sunlight and rainbows. The sky, that was always there in you life, unwavering and never faltering.

Sky, which was coincidentally Seungmin's English name. It suited him.

"I really like the constellation of Orion," you told him with a sideways glance.

"I know. I remember."

"How? I mean, how do you remember all this?"

"I remember everything you tell me," Seungmin repeated, like he did all those months ago.

"Why?" you asked. You asked because you wanted to know, needed to know and repent your mistake of not asking earlier.

Seungmin turned to face you. His eyes held no glint of mischief, no edge accompanied by teasing. Instead, you felt locked in his gaze. It was the kind of intense stare that made you think that he was about to spill all his sins at your feet, right here, right now.

"I remember everything because it's you who says it. I used to remember because I wanted to beat you, be better than you. Then I started to remember as a habit, noticing the smallest quirks about you. Now I remember because I want to be there for you, to help you."

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. But how much longer would you say that to yourself until you were imbibed with it?

"There is an ugly mix of feelings inside me regarding you, Y/N. They went initially from animosity, to something akin to friendship, to now, the desire for something with you that's more than just platonic."

He gulped. You swallowed. Silence.

"I am drawn to you, Y/N L/N. From the moment I have met you, it has felt like my life is irreversibly tangled with yours. I am propelled towards like it's pre-destined, and I always have. There are times where I feel like I cannot exist if you do not exist. And I'm tired of brushing these feelings aside, acting like they're non-existent."

"I like you, and not telling you has quite nearly driven me to the brink of insanity. It's alright, if you don't feel the same, but please don't walk away without an answer for me."

His gaze averted yours when he finally finished. You looked at him in awe, unable to express how you felt his brilliance radiate off him when he perfectly articulated all the feelings that restlessly capsized land in the empty spaces of your mind.

"For someone really smart, Kim," you breathed, "You are extremely stupid."

"You mean..." Seungmin's voice trailed off. Now it was his turn to look at you in awe.

"I have the feeling that you're trying not to kiss me, and I give you permission to just do it," you announced.

Seungmin gave you a wild smile before his lips swooped in to meet yours. They tasted like fruit punch and chocolate cake, like promises and forever.

You might have been imagining it, but for one cosmic moment, it felt like the stars were shining brighter than the usually did. Two binary stars had finally found each other, finally made their way into each other's orbits, never to stray again.

His lips left yours with a small gasp. "That was my first kiss," you mumbled sheepishly.

Seungmin fiddled with the flaps of his suit coat nervously. He started babbling, "Really? This was, I think, my third. Once at camp and once last year but that was just spin the bottle-"

You cut him off with a smirk. "Let's make it a fourth time, shall we?" and you promptly shut him up by placing your lips on his.

You weren't jealous of the other people Seungmin had kissed. God knows how awful this entire experience would have been if you both were going into it as novices. If anything, you were glad you were the third person he was kissing, because in that celestial moment, you made a vow.

You may not be the first person Seungmin had kissed, but you would make damn well sure to be the last.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - girl, it's the epilogue!

Seungmin yawned and wrapped his arm around your waist, practically caging you to the bed. He let out whine when you tried to get out of his grasp and just pulled you closer. You poked him in the side until he yelped.

"Kim Seungmin, you are not skipping work today. I know this display of affections is just so that I concede and let you stay home for cuddles," you told him sternly.

"But it worked last time. And the time before that. And the time before-"

"Well, it won't work this time," you announced with an air of finality.

If anything, being in a relationship with Seungmin only increased the penchant for banter you both had. You both rarely disagreed on things, but went back and forth for fun anyways. You knew your boundaries and never crossed them, but argued like cats and dogs nonetheless.

Well, you called it arguing. Seungmin called it flirting.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You both finally pulled up at Seungmin's workplace and you snorted when you saw the building gates. Seungmin drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and looked at you with a smile that you gave back. It was his first day on the job as Principal.

It had been ten years since you stepped foot on the campus of Park Academy.

"The legacy of Principal Kims continues," you giggled, proud of yourself for making that joke.

"That's because Kims are superior," Seungmin declared.

"That is literally so offensive," you flicked him arm lightly.

Seungmin's eyes met yours and a familiar look in it made you outwardly dread and inwardly prepare to rebut whatever he was going to tell you.

"You shouldn't say that," he snickered, "Considering that you'll be an honorary Kim yourself soon."

Oh. Oh.

It would be a week until students started coming to campus, there classes yet to start. When Seungmin mentioned this to you, you asked if you could come along to see the campus once. The campus where you fell in love with him.

"You might be a hot shot CEO," Seungmin relentlessly teased, "But it's good to go back to your roots sometimes."

It was ironic how you called his mother more than he did.

Your feet subconsciously guided you to the library. You loved this library. It was the place where you spent some of the best moments of your life. This was where you slowly fell in love with Seungmin, uncovering him layer by layer until you could call him yours.

You felt a laugh bubble up your throat when you made your way to the Romantic Literature section. Seungmin gave you a poor attempt at a smile as he observed you. In fact, he looked extremely nervous, a sharp juxtaposition to the flirty demeanor of his just a few minutes ago.

You could count on one hand the amount of times you had seen Seungmin being nervous.

It must have been anxiety surrounding the promotion. You reached over to squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring pat. Once you were sure that he would be fine, you turned back to prodding at the books shelved on the wall as if they were part of some lab experiment.

Once you were satisfied, you turned to give Seungmin the signal to go, when you stumbled backwards at what was in front of you.

Seungmin stood down on one knee, a box in his hand, with the most beautiful ring you had ever seen inside it.

"What?" you asked, your voice shaky. Tears instantly began to spring up in your eyes.

This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. But it was. The man you had loved for a decade was here, in front of you, wordlessly asking to turn those ten years into the rest of a shared forever.

"I had a really dramatic speech planned," he rambled, "But I forgot since I'm kind of terrified and you do always tell me to speak from my heart so here goes nothing."

"I have probably mentioned this thousands of times, but I have felt a magnetic pull towards you since the moment I first interacted with you. I didn't know what it would turn into then, but I knew it was going to be something, and I have been eternally grateful that it was love."

"To put it simply: every single infinitesimal particle that makes me in hopelessly in love with every infinitesimal particle that makes you. I love you, so, so much. I have been yearning for a forever with you before I even knew it so; will you marry me?"

He stopped with a sniff and swiped the sleeve of his sweater across his eyes. "Shit, I wasn't supposed to cry."

It all came full circle, didn't it? Ten years ago, he asked you to prom. Ten years later, he offered you eternity.

You let out a laugh and threw yourself at him, peppering him with kisses. "And you said you didn't want to come to work today," you laughed in between your cuddle attack.

"So, this means yes?"

You face palmed. "This means yes, Seungmin. Yes, I will marry you. In every universe, I know that I will spend the rest of my life with you."

Seungmin gathered you in his arms and kissed you like he was burning and you were oxygen. Binary stars, burning and burning, bleeding into each other in every reality because, there could never be you without him, one without the other.

Ten years ago, you swore that you would be the last person Seungmin would ever kiss.

Ten years later, nobody could say that you weren't a woman of your word.

please reblog and comment if you liked this fic! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3

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[frostironficrecs]

Hi so i have a few requests if thats okay. 1. Evil! Tony where he has secretly been working with loki or something like that. 2. teen AU theres still the avengers and all but they are teens, and lokis good. 3. avengers meeting lokis kids with frostiron. Sorry if thats too much I'm just having trouble finding these things. Thank you

Me when I first got this ask: this is totally not too much, you are fine, this gives me more opportunities to readMe now: This! Took! So! Fucking! Long! I’m! So! Sorry!

Anyway!

*cracks knuckles* alright friend, ive got at least a couple recs on here with that first request- dark tony working with loki in this rec list, particularly 3, 6, 7, and 9.

Now! teen/hs aus w/ the avengers. those are gonna be a bit harder lol. All of these don’t necessarily have the Avengers, but then I would have virtually no fics for this part of the rec ajkdhlfa

And Everyone Knew Except Them- miaao3, G or T, No Warnings. It started as a stupid joke; Tony smacked a kiss on Loki to freak out a homophobe, except everything went belly up as soon as Loki started kissing back. I loved this?? So Much???? I’m so sad mia isn’t writing anymore :(

What? Wait… What?- msMynx, Mature, No Warnings. Loki is entirely too busy to even think about prom. Prom is what other people did, not him.Hilarious, honestly. Totally something that could happen in canon, imo.

I’m Your Guy- STARSdidathing, G, No Warnings. “You might be gay, but he likes girls, Loki.”Thor is a bad bro sometimes, and Tony is awesome.

It Just Sort Of Happened- Potrix, T, No Warnings Apply (Mentions of drug abuse, mentions of attempted suicide, mentions of overdosing)Sometimes, Loki learns, getting in trouble is just the first step of something new and wonderful.Buddy,,,, this was,,,,,,,,,  angsty and wonderful

This one was difficult and annoying, bc I found Loki’s kids meeting Avengers with frostiron, but it was badly written, or gross, or some kind of shit imo. Then I found meeting Loki’s kids with frostiron! But barely any Avengers, SO, Buddy, I Tried. Honestly, this was the section that took the longest alsdkjf. (A note, I didnt go as in depth for this tag as i have for others bc i thought i spent enough time on it, but here is the link to the search terms i used. Therefore, a lot of the fics on this sec are pretty new, and im sure there are plenty of other good ones in the tag, i simply kinda didnt feel like reading them)

Loki’s Brood (series)- Raven_Ehtar, T, (Past) Rape/Non-con, (Flashback) Graphic Violence (IMO violence is not that bad, and to me the non-con was glossed over)After the trial in Asgard for his various crimes, Loki Laufeyson walks away estranged from his people and burdened with tasks to amend his past wrongs. In so doing he also walks away with his three children - Fenrir, Hela and Jörmungandr - taking them out of the hands of the Æsir. He entrusts them to Tony Stark, much to everyone’s surprise, and what could have been a disaster turns out to work out remarkably well for everyone involved. At least most of the time.This entire series was amazing, I loved it, I want more right now, thank you very much. (This one has the most kids+avengers)

Crossing the Line (series)- pristineungift, M, No Warnings/Graphic Violence.Tony Stark may not know it, but he is Loki’s.Not in a creepy way tho! Imo, at least lkasdf. I really loved this series honestly. Also, Angst :’> (More... adult ‘kids’, and mostly avengers tbh)

Hel is Other People- Moosepelheim, M, Graphic Violence.“So what if I ate the cheeseburger?” Tony shouts, throwing a wrench at Loki’s head. The bastard dodges it easily as he stalks closer. “That doesn’t mean I belong to you!”“Oh, not to me,” Loki says lowly, a smile like honey slowly spreading its way across his face. “But with me? Surely you’ve heard of Persephone.”“A cheeseburger isn’t some fucking mystical pomegranate, you smirking lunatic.” It isn’t, it just isn’t. Not even close. "You aren't even Greek!" he adds, throwing another wrench which is dodged just as easily.Loki spreads his hands wide, posing like the showman he is. “I think you’ll find that a pomegranate symbolizes the fruit of the dead. Your cheeseburger, made of dead flesh, was topped with fruit. It’s close enough for the symbolism to bind.”“Ah-hah! There’s no fucking fruit on a cheeseburger,” Tony says triumphantly, finger pointing accusingly at Loki. “I fucking win, no going back to crazy town with you. I stay here in my workshop, and you fucking leave before I call the Avengers.”“Oh Stark,” Loki murmurs, almost affectionately. “A tomato is a berry, you ignorant fool.”I’m fucking counting this bc this is one of my faves and Im justifying it by the fact that Loki’s kids are in it, albeit as adults, and more towards the end than anything else.

These last three are pretty much Loki+kids+Tony, no Avengers. But they’re all lovely nonetheless, and I would love more of these kinds of fics

Hidden Within- Lynds (Incomplete, updating regularly), T, Chose No Warnings.Tony's on the verge of giving up when he stumbles into Lucas and his large brood of troubled children. He knows they're on the run, but frankly, he's not going to live very much longer, so he doesn't care. He just wants to hang out with the hot guy with stunning green eyes and crazy kids, and maybe fall in love with all of them. Just a little.When Loki finds out he isn't Odin's son, he washes his hands of the lot of them. He steals his children back from their prison and takes them on the run, hiding their true nature and magic in a mortal form. But then Tony comes to their aid one day, and he has to choose between keeping his children safe and hidden, and releasing his magic to save the life of a man he might be falling for.This is the best of the ones I read, no lie, and even tho its super new it deserves to be on this list.

Late Again- andquitefrankly, G, No Warnings.Single dad’s Tony and Loki always bring their kids late to school. And those kids see something that they don’t: love.Def Loki’s kids, and... kinda an oc for Tony’s kid? However, this was delightful, and light, and fluffy. Exactly what I needed after some of the other angst heavy ones on this list.

Forming a Family- siver_drip, T, No Warnings.Odin cast Loki’s children through space and time. Tony finds Hela.Seeing dad!Tony was amazing, I loved it, and Hela was a wonderful little hellion, whom I adore. More pre-slash than anything during the story

[quackiseok]

— my honeypie

dream team x reader || headcanons

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing , public nervousness

anon asked : Omh your kisses hcs were so cute 🥰 could I request hcs with dream and george (and anyone else is you want!) with a shy reader?? Like, social anxiety and loner type of person? Thank you in advance, Darling! ❤

a/n : ANON ISTG YOU'RE THE SWEETEST 🥺💞 this is such a cute idea!! i'm so sorry this took so long but i hope you like it :] and i'm really sorry for the grammatical mistakes my brain was going WJEJRJRJRR while writing this OTL

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

he would be VERY careful around you

he would also be very caring towards you, always making sure that you're comfortable with him! :]

even though sometimes he would tease you by giving you cheesy pick up lines, he's actually the SWEETEST mf alive 🥺

he secretly LOVES how your face turns red when the two of you look at each other for more than 5 seconds 👉👈

as much as he wanted to tease you and just turn you into a human heater, he will refrain himself with all his might from doing so because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable :(

and when the two of you are cuddling and you turned red because how close the two of you were? [internal positive screaming from dream cause— man, you're just too cute and that should be illegal]

has a thing for : you hiding your face on his chest or the crook of his neck when you're feeling embarrassed or flustered psst, he enjoys it when you do that because he thinks you're so adorable AAAAA

he would also definitely let out a giggle before pulling you into his embrace when you're feeling shy, just letting you melt and hide your face on his chest,,,,,,,,,,,

and he doesn't want you to feel bad for being shy, so he would ALWAYS be very comforting when you're being shy,, like patting your back in a hug while whispering sweet stuff and say that "it's okay! i love you just the way you are, don't be sorry for being yourself." HNNGBTHHHTH HE IS SO WHOLESOME IM GONNA BURST INTO TEARS

in public? 100% protective mode on the whole time

will literally give actual death glares to people who makes you uncomfy with zero hesitation

if someone is obviously making you uncomfortable? he'd step into the conversation, somehow smoothly brought the bond to an end like it's so smooth that the person probably wouldn't even notice the death glare he's giving,,

either way, you're so thankful he's really good at talking things out 🥺🥺

but you love his protective side since it makes you feel safe!! :]

he'll always check on you and make sure that you're feeling ok :) if you don't mind, he'll gladly hold your hand and bring you closer to him

he would always try to distract you from feeling nervous by asking about the things you're interested in so you'd be distracted and just happily focus with the conversation between the two of you 🥺

((he loves the way you beam up when you talk about the things you love 🥺💞))

so overall? dream is a protective, loving dog boy who will literally square anyone up if they dare make you feel uncomfortable

; GEORGE

even though the two of you are both shy, george is definitely more protective over you

he 100% thinks you're so cute when you get all flushed around him so he couldn't help but tease you sometimes

but he does it occasionally and he only tease you mildly since he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable around him :((

has a thing for you getting shy in his hoodies, especially his merch hoodies >:]

why, you ask?

BECAUSE OOTMFMYGOD when you get flustered, your cheeks would go red and you'll cover your face with those cute sweater paws from his oversized hoodies and ohmyggdodod is it even possible not to let out a slight blush from the cute sight???

instead of admitting to you that he LOVES seeing you in his oversized hoodies, he would just randomly give you his hoodie and say stuff like "wear it, it's getting cold here." "wear this. it's comfortable, i swear." AAAAAAA <//3

ah yes, the two of you love cuddles and hugs but both are shy as well. what could happen?

the two of you are shy, of course. but this man would literally risk everything just to cuddle you, like even though he feels like he's gonna melt into a puddle if he makes a move on you, he does it anyways >:)

it's cute how he would just immediately turn red after giving you a hug, and you'll also turn red like him after a few seconds! but the two of you really said 'fuck it' and just melt into a puddle together ♡

but when in public?

george would 100% gets protective and less shy when it comes to protecting you

he would act SO COLD towards people who visibly makes you nervous or uncomfortable, so cold that he can end uncomfortable conversations immediately. mans deadass can stop the global warming with his attitude 😳

even though he looks cold, you're thankful that he can get the two of you out of such situations like that! :]

will let you play with his fingers when you need distraction or he'll show you cottagecore minecraft houses and ask you to build one with him later which would distract you from feeling nervous 🥺

and always make sure that you're feeling okay, and will offer you to go home and cuddle instead if you say you're not feeling great 👉👈

overall? george is a shy cat boy who secretly cares so much and will do anything just to see you smile or make you feel better

; SAPNAP

this mf right here will tease you almost everyday just to see you all flustered and red because of his cheesy words

but of course, he knows when to stop. mans knows the line!! :D

he just couldn't help it 'cause??? you're just so fucking cute????? like everytime he sees you his heart goes AKSJEKWKSJEJS because how cute you are 🥺

mans would definitely lift you up out of no where whenever he sees you doing nothing

like when you're walking down the hallway? he goes to you and just picks you up bridal style while nuzzling his face on you because DAMMMIT YOURE JUST WAY TOO CUTE >:(

or sometimes he would just hug you and lift you up while you're still in his embrace, your flustered face burried in his chest while he whispers out how much he adores you 🥺

basically just everything that involves him picking you up and shower you with lots of love, he'll do it 😳

you'd go all flustered which he absolutely adores but will immediately let you down if you said so and wouldn't do it again if you're uncomfortable with it :] ((he knows the limit babe ♡))

even though sapnap is a really sweet, clingy (in a positive way!), and playful guy; it's a different story in public

well i mean, he still acts really playful with you— but with the people who makes you feel uncomfortable? no mercy at all

like he can go from giving you the sweetest puppy eyes filled with stars to giving "i will snap your ass in half" glares to people who makes you nervous

sapnap will not hestitate to pull you closer to his embrace and tell the person that the two of you gotta go now and just walk away,

death glares are essential according to him

nonetheless, you're just thankful that he's there to save you from unwanted conversations with some people 🥺

will tell you his embarrassing but funny stories just to make you laugh and distract you from your nervousness despite him knowing the fatct that you would tease him with the story for weeks

he doesn't care, as long as you're happy 🥺🥺

would also play with your fingers and just ask you about random things to keep you distracted! :)

of course he'll crack so many jokes with you, and he just never fail to make you laugh happily 🥺

overall?? sapnap is a loving, playful dog boy who loves teasing you but then when someone else makes you uncomfortable he will growl at them

[atherix]

Its currently midnight, im currently doing my college work and doin some daily bc i slept the whole afternoon instead of doing it. I have read the latest chapter and this is your regular update from purp anon.

So first, let's hear on the purp anon's mental state of the latest update;

JWJ%KSKSKSKSK/SKKD??? AAAAA.

And now, for a more coherent reaction.

ATHERIX U WERE RIGHT I WAS NOT READY. HOW DARE U OFFER ME THE SIBLINGS CONTENT ONLY TO SAY SIKE AT US AAAAAA

AND MUMBO. POOR MUMBO. BRO I JUST WANNA GIVE THAT MAN A HUG CAUSE THAT WAS TOO CRUEL MAN. EVEN FOR ME. (But in a writer's POV, that was PERFECTLY EXECUTED)

AND SCAR. POOR, POOR SCAR. NO WONDER I HAD A SILLY FEELING WHEN THE NICKNAME 'Rosebud' WAS INTRODUCED LIKE NOT THAT LONG AGO.

Angst aside, can i just say the description about how abandoned the alley is so good??? Like my dear writer, how tf do u manage to SHOW how ancient the place was. And the small comment about the whole charged creeper? Noice.

IM SCREECHING AND VIBRATING BC SO MANY THOUGHTS RUNNING THRU ME. But i must remain calm, bc i know this is just the tip of the ice berg. If I'm screeching loudly at this, you can only imagine how much more feral i will go as the new updates comes thru wjdjwjd

But i know, the worst must come forth for a rainbow to emerge from the darkest pits of the realm LMAO. So we all must remain calm and put our big boi pants and brace for impact wjxjdjx

- purp anon

Midnight is the perfect time to read Midnight Series <3

HFKJSJFLKFLS beautiful, I love it <3

No one was ready. And no one will BE ready hehehe <3

HAHAHA I knew the moment I thought about this scenario (ages ago might I add, this has been PLANNED for a while :) ) that there would be Screaming <3 I love it hehehe

I TOOK MYSELF OUT WITH THE MUMBO PART HEHEHE <3 Mans convinces himself "I've come to terms with what happened" and then literally comes face to face with it jkfhdskjghdjk mans needs a huge hug, he was so shaken by it </3

HEHEHEHE the nickname isn't the only important thing there. But I won't point it out yet :) Hehehee

LOOK. GOD I love abandoned places so much. They're so fun. I'm so glad I was able to get across just how abandoned and ruinous the Alley is <3 Hehehe <3<3

Hahaha as I told Stitch, it only gets worse from here :) So uh... prepare yourself <3 And you ask yourself, "How can it be worse than coming face to face with your dead/presumed dead loved ones and having that hope stripped away?" Well. Hehe :)

Please remember this going forward :D It is important <3 Just brace yourself. There's a beautiful sunset waiting on the other side <3