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menlove · 2 months

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one thing that adds to credibility of Paul being closeted imo, is that often he is thought of as having this internalised homophobia, if not homophobia itself, because he always mentions how un-gay he is whenever some gay subject comes up in interviews

but like, there are so many things that disprove him being homophobic, it's not even funny. going to Paris alone with gay men? Paul did that two times (three if we count John lol) and that Peter Brown story is incrediblyy suspect. what homophobic man, scared of gay, sits on the bed of his male employee and his male fling that casually late at night in his hotel room and chats them up?

most likely reason, combined with his incredibly suspect lyrics, is that he is so defensive about his sexuality because he has something to hide

THATS WHAT IIIIIM SAYING!!!! like he is so comfortable w gay people and gay culture which on its own isn't suspect but it Is when people insist he's homophobic as a Reason He's Repressed Not Closeted. and once again I must remind everyone that john nearly beat a man to death for calling him gay and was still undeniably queer.

it's just like. imagine for a moment. with me. everyone hold my hand. not claiming this is true but walk w me along this path to get to current paul that isn't "he's just repressed and stupid and doesn't even know he's bi" but is instead MY speculative timeline (somehow this turned into a mini fic or something god help me but I'M SO SERIOUS IM SO SERIOUS THIS WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE TO ME WALK WITH ME HOLD MY HAND)

you are born in the 1940s. you are raised by a strict man who was physically abusive & in a culture that hates gay people. you grow up watching people get killed for being queer and being bullied over your feminine features that people think make you queer. you hit puberty and Shit Gets Harder because you start finding other men hot. elvis, for one! when you're 15 you start seeing a boy around that you think is hot and it turns out he's in a band and you fall in love with his looks and his voice and then him. and he's just as insane about you. you start doing increasingly sexual things together. eventually, you're having a full blown sexual affair. while writing love songs together and growing up together. and then he gets his girlfriend pregnant. and marries her. and you lose him, a little bit. he goes off and has an affair with your gay manager & when he gets home he ruins your birthday party by nearly beating a man to death for bringing it up. you wonder what he'd do if anyone found out about the two of you too.

and then the insane happens and you end up The Most Famous Band In The World. the ENTIRE world is watching your every move. the entire world loves you. they wouldn't love you if they knew. you get a girlfriend and it's convenient because she's always gone and you're always alone. but you still have him. and other girls. through everything, you have each other. even when he says something stupid and the world wants all of your heads on a platter and he starts to fall into a depression, you still have each other. even if now you Know how bad it could be if they ever found out. and then your manager, your father figure, an openly gay man, dies. and it's not a suicide, but a lot of people think it is, and sometimes you wonder, and fuck it's terrifying, isn't it? the reality of your life, the reality of loving Him, the reality of being queer. what if that winds up being You? you start to lose Him a little bit more as you throw yourself into your work and push everyone way too hard. you propose to your girlfriend. and then you do lose Him. to a woman. which was sort of unthinkable because he was already married and never cared about her, just you. never cared about any women, just you. but he cares about Her. and you fucking lose your mind. lose yourself in drugs. blow up your engagement. propose to another girl and many more "jokingly". your one girlfriend says you had to try again or you would have gone "raving queer" and killed yourself. the whole time you're losing Him more and more. suddenly he's looking at Her like he used to look at you. you're no longer his world and what the fuck do you have? a bunch of girls you don't care about and a drug problem? and then you meet a woman who, according to you, is more woman than anyone else. she's a mother already, a family ready made when you've always wanted one. she's smart and she's funny and she's quick and you let yourself cling to her because you don't have Him and he has Her so you've got to have someone, don't you? and she winds up pregnant and that's great, that's wonderful, you're no longer in danger of dying alone and queer and sad. you've lost Him by now completely, even though you have about a month where things feel a little less awful again and you perform together one last time. you marry her and you ASK people, flat out, if they expected you to be a 26 year old unmarried queer. you fight the night before you're married for some unknown reason, so badly she almost leaves you. and then He marries Her, and everything is fine. and then it all falls apart completely. you at least had Him as your friend, your writing partner, the other half of you legally. and then he asks for a divorce. and the world ends. you don't have the band, you don't have Him, you don't have anything. you stay in bed all day, drinking, miserable. like a breakup, not just of the band.

eventually, your wife pulls you out of it. you survive. you start writing again. you write to him. you put two beetles fucking on the cover of your second album and he thinks a song you wrote about your wife's ex is about him (and maybe it is, a little) and he shoots right back. and you keep that up for a decade. writing to each other. seeing each other only in the news and in snatched moments together where nothing is the same as it was. you plead with him through your music: why do you hurt me so bad? call me, pretty baby. I'm waking up screaming over you. I can't tell you how I feel. you try and make things like they were, even a little, showing up to his house with your guitar like you're 15 again, but he sends you away. in all that time, he's basically gone to conversion therapy. he's with someone who makes disparaging remarks about his sexuality. for you, you've let yourself embrace being a bit campy, but you still can't bring yourself to be open about any of it. not with anyone but your wife.

and then you start talking again. you make up. things seem hopeful. it seems like he might still love you and he writes you a song about starting over with you. and then he's murdered. and it's senseless. it's so so senseless. and it's unfair. you lock yourself away for days listening to that song he wrote you. the media tears you apart for grieving wrong. they wish you died instead. they think you're cold. you never loved him, not like he loved you. you write a song, with tear marks on the page, telling him how much you DID love him. all the things you'd say to him if he were there with you. you write more songs about that, all centered around that theme. some of them you say are about him. others you don't. once, you say if anyone catches on you can just deny it. but he wrote you love songs too, apparently, for you, and you eventually record them with your old band

and the thing is, You are one of his widows. his name follows yours every time it leaves someone's mouth. he's all anyone ever talks about with you. he's all you want to talk about too. his legacy is your legacy. he's no longer here to tell people about his sexuality, he's no longer here to consent to everything that you were being told. he's not here. and how can you even begin to mention Your Own sexuality without bringing him up? you owe him more than outing him in death. you owe Her more than that too, because you were already cruel to her and so was the world. she's grieving just like you, you can't do that. your wife dies, and now you're her legacy too and you being queer would seem like a betrayal to her. your best friend dies, and now he's your legacy too. you aren't just you- you're Him, you're 1/2 of the living members of the most famous band to ever exist, you're Her, you're your dead wife

so when someone asks you about him. when someone asks you about being gay or calls him the love of your life. What Exactly Are You Supposed To Say?

I wouldn't say shit either

#this got so long I just have a lot of feelings about paul if. you couldn't tell.#this is all PURE speculation btw. it's just the way I feel it would go if. he were closeted and they were fucking #a if you give a mouse a cookie type ramble #mclennon

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tra1nchi · 5 months

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THIS HAS BEEN GOJNG TROGUH MY MIND SMMMM

Imagine readers collage proffersor he hated reader so much!!! Apparently reader has ruined his life, calling him slurs, making fun of him oh he hated reader so much!! After readers collage course the proffersor shows up at readers house with a knife planning to kill him!!

Ends up proffersor being tied up watching in despair as reader rides him, degrades him

CAN U WRITE SOMETHING SIMILAIR TO THATTTTT??? Σ(´□｀;)

(Maybe some knife play going on if it isn't too much??(;´∀｀))

- anon 💞

Your wish is my command 💞!!! MINORS DNI!! Dom/bttm male reader,, knife play,,threatening him!! Older professor!! Degradation,, dub con

He hates your guts!! You were the annoying student in the back of his class!! You always made hi class hell,,making fun of him for being openly gay!! Calling him slurs from the back of the class,,how cruel!!

Even after a few years after you graduated,,he never forgot about it!! And after seeing a particularly homophobic post on one of your social medias,,he got sick and tired of you!!

Preparing himself in dark clothing,,shakily picking up a knife,,was he really going to commit something so heinous over your opinion?? He was,,even if he was scared shirtless but as he got into his car,,he soothed himself as he thought about how you treated him!!!

Sneaking into your home,,expecting you to be asleep but he only found you sat at your desk,,wide awake doing work!!! He froze up!! How does he expect himself to kill you while you were awake??

You noticed him and he knew he was screwed,, you were way more muscly then you were before!! You mustve got stronger over the few years he hasn't seen you!!

"wait please! Im sorry!" He whines after you managed to tackle him,,ripping the knife our of his hands with aggression!! Hitting him over the head to out him in a daze as you move to tie him tightly up in a chair!!

The knife layed right against the skin of his neck!! >□< he was trembling so bad as you sat down on his lap,, tracing the blade of the knife down his soft neck!! He didn't even realise you had undressed him in his daze!!

"Do it already!!" He whines out but only gasps as he feels your hips go down onto his cock,, your dick half hard as you begin to move your hip up and down!! He thought you hated gay people!!

"I'm not..a..skank!" His moans were desp as his hips move up into your hole after hearing your mean words,, you were being so mean but for some reason it turned him on so hard!!! >□<

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum!" Drool ran down his chin as he closed his eyes,,feeling the cold of the blade slightly pierce his skin from your erratic movements of your hips!! His cock realising his warm cum up inside of you!! Tears pathetically running down his cheeks!!

Flinching at the feeling of your own cum landing on his face,,looking up at you tearfully,,his body shook at the sight of your smirk,,shivering softly as his eyes roll back,,the tip of the blade tapping against his skin!!

#{bttm male reader}#bottom male reader #sub male reader #x sub male reader #x bottom male reader #{💞}#{anon asks}#{h4rny ask}

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abra-ka-dammit · 20 days

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Here I am again to beg for help paying for my (remaining) cats. Just when I thought I managed to get out relatively-cheap and easy with Zeppelin's quickly solved crystal scare the other week, Zelda cat started having severe difficulty breathing the night before last.

Her lungs look pretty wack on xray and ultrasound, with things that could indicate stuff like cat asthma or long term chronic airway disease, and theres a little air around one lung and under the skin of her chest somehow(???), but she's not presenting in a way that matches up to anything well enough for the doctors to know what's going on. Simply put, while I managed to squeeze the ER visit and 12 hour ICU stay into what had been cleared off my carecredit along with a little overflow on my near-maxed credit card, i cannot afford anything else. I managed to convince my mom* to loan me the $1653 and change in order to bring home a buster kennel and oxygen condenser along with antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds: basically, I'm home-treating her for the Recover-From-able potential issues this could be. If this treatment plan ends without getting her back to a state where she can breathe "room air" again, the other things it could be are all things that would be irreversible, require serious surgery, or would otherwise ruin her further quality of life, so... you know. Let's hope this works, or once more euthanasia will be added to the bill.

Any help is greatly appreciated, especially since I'm inevitably going to need to go in for a follow up appointment whether this (seems to me like it) works or not, and unfortunately this all happened literally right before rent hit and I don't get paid again until friday of next week (9/13) so i have. no idea how im doing that yet.

*Part of the money my parents paid is refundable upon return of the kennel and oxygen machine but my father has already sent me long guilt trippy texts about how i'm ungrateful (apparently sobbing and thanking them as i continue to live in poverty to avoid further burdening them about my own human needs doesnt count) and essentially need to pick myself up by the bootstraps and afford my own cats (as though this freak timing, the ever worsening economy, or whether better jobs actually hire me is somehow totes under my control) so, yknow. yay for bonus stress

#cats #donation post #i know everyones donating to much more important causes right now when they can so i feel awful asking #but just when i thought a 3-payday month was gonna get me back to not overdrawing twice a month from bills and rent #this happens. both of these things. because im fucking cursed or something

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loviingpedri · 1 year

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Did You Know I Loved You?

prompt: pedri never forgot you

warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.

word count: 1735

angst, some fluff

dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3

pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.

"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.

"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.

"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.

little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.

———————————————————————

“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.

“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”

“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.

“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”

“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.

you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.

then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.

“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.

“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.

pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.

———————————————————————

2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.

tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.

you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.

of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.

after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.

“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.

“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.

“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”

what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.

“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.

“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”

quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”

“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.

unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.

———————————————————————

the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.

“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.

gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.

during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.

“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.

“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.

“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.

“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.

“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.

———————————————————————

your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.

gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.

pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?

what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.

“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.

it felt peaceful.

———————————————————————

author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3

#pedri gonzalez #pedri #pedri x reader #pedri imagine #fc barcelona #pedri x you #pedri x y/n #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri gonzalez x reader #pedri gonzalez x you #pedri fanfic #pedri angst

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r0ttenhearts · 11 months

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OKAY IM BACK SO

yandere scara or like overly obsessive and possessive scara who does literally everything in his power to keep you with him because god forbid he loses you too w/ his issues; he resorts to guilt tripping you, gaslighting you, etc etc. eventually, he isolates you after scaring off your friends and reader tries confronting him abt it but he’s having non of that crap (why am i asking for this)

as always; you don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it

(i’m the anon that asked for the fic where reader confronts scara)

bitter lie

possessive/yandere scaramouche x reader

part 1/2

sypnosis: with you and scaramouche’s upcoming streaming career you grow tired of his lingering eyes and attention towards other girls in the field

“i’ll never get over you.” scaramouche’s muffled voice was in your ear. your laugh echoed through scaramouche’s screens as he had your stream open while he was streaming your current “online date.”. the chat gushed from his words, emojis spammed and thousands of more messages coming through.

at the time it was a sweet sentiment, a small reminder of his affection for you. now you wished he hadn’t meant it.

the breakup wasn’t a huge shock to you, or so you believed. scaramouche was completely blindsided when you told him you no longer felt a spark between you two. sure, he had been streaming with other girls after you told him you weren’t okay with it. so what if he commented under every streamers instagram pics that competed with you to stay on top? it was okay!

you’d never forget the anger in his voice that night.

“YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE.” his voice boomed through his mic as his hands slammed on his desk. “me? a hypocrite? i never streamed with any other guys like you did!”

“you fucking hung out with that guy, alone. i’m not stupid. i saw your match logs. i know you were duoed.”

“it’s not my fault he doesn’t want to meet any of my friends, scara! i told you beforehand that i was going to hangout with him after you went to bed.” you shot back. scaramouche was referring to alhaitham. alhaitham almost never got on a game with you as he was too busy with his other streamer friends, but you two went far back to before the both of you started streaming. he wasn’t interested in meeting anymore of your friends after he had a nasty interaction with your ex boyfriend, and you respected that.

“but i’m not just a fucking friend (y/n).” he seethed. you scoffed, this was a side you had never seen of scaramouche.

“if you go through with this you’ll fucking regret it, (y/n). i promise you that.”

you shook your head. you were set on this decision. you would choose your own happiness this time. “go for it scara. i’m sure it won’t be any worse than how it’s been in our relationship.”

with that you hung up and blocked him on everything. you hadn’t meant for it to go this way. you knew his larger following wouldn’t take this well, not with how flirty he was to his viewers. they worshipped him. and in comparison, your viewers wouldn’t be able to compete with the thousands gap.

going to bed that night felt lighter. like a new start in your life. you knew a part of you would miss scaramouche. his gentle laughs when you two would hangout together off stream, his spaced out but sweet texts. there were some things about him that you would always cherish. but the pain far outweighed the comfort of the good moments. you sighed as your eyes fluttered shut. it would all be better in the morning. this heavy, nauseating feeling.

your hands shook as you read over his tweets. he was making your breakup as public as possible, he was going to ruin your career. you laughed dryly as you tapped some buttons on your screen, pressing the green call button as you held your cold phone against your ear. “pick up, please.” you muttered to yourself before you heard his voice from the other side of the speaker.

“(y/n)? it’s so early.” alhaitham’s gruff voice sounded from your phone speaker.

“haitham? did you see what scara tweeted. i broke up with him last night a-and..” your voice muffled with your sobs. alhaitham never knew of the overprotective way scaramouche would react when you’d be with others, others that weren’t him.

“slow down, (y/n). who cares if he tweets about you? you both have your own audiences it’ll die down. breathe.” alhaitham scrolled on scara’s feed on his side of the phone. reading through the comments of the new hate tweets spewing towards you. this was bad. alhaitham knew it was bad attention for your upcoming streaming career.

“shh. calm down.” alhaitham whispered quiet words of comfort as you broke down over the phone.

alhaitham didn’t know the hell that would plague you for the next two months. how wrong he could be. the false words of comfort that would feel bitter against scaramouche’s torment.

taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @ayameei @aqualesha @msdevilis @linkookie197 @beriiov @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @magica-ren @scara6 @Maxineslair

#genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #wanderer x reader #wanderer angst #scaramouche x reader angst #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche angst x reader #scaramouche angst #scaramouche

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strniohoeee · 10 months

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Leech

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris has suddenly become someone else and Y/N isn’t too fond of it. He pays her a visit at night, and things start to take a turn🩸

Warnings⚠️: VAMPIRE CHRIS OH YEAHHHHH, also this is SMUT, all in favor of fucking vampire Chris say I…I🙋🏽‍♀️🦇

Song for the imagine: Beauty School- Deftones

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

I watch you taste it

I see your face

And I know I’m alive

Chris has been acting really weird to me lately, not really talking to me, or spending much time. Him and his brothers started hanging out with these guys who were also no good.

I tried not to care too much because it wasn’t my life, and I was just their friends, but it was kind of annoying. The only time they’d ever want to hang out was at night, and at their place. For a while it was fun, but I noticed this pattern

I rarely ever hung out with them, usually creating some fake excuse to get out of it. Most of the time they believed me, but other times they knew I was lying.

Slowly we started to slip away from each other until I started to notice that Chris was looking and acting differently. Usually he was so childish and playful all the time, but now he was so quiet and serious all the time.

First it was his personality and then his looks started to change. Slowly his face was more defined, his cheeks sunken in, his skin more pale and his eyes….they were so icy and cold, and slowly he started to have deep eye bags

I wasn’t sure what he got himself into with these new friends, and I really hoped it wasn’t anything illegal that was making his mind heavy.

Oftentimes there was this cold vibe surrounding, that was a reason I didn’t want to be around him much. He was so serious and scary, and talking to him frightened me.

Matt and Nick also changed, but it wasn’t how Chris changed, and it really bothered me.

Currently I haven't seen them for a good month and a half. I mean I’ve seen them in passing but barely, I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to them anymore. This was ruining our friendship

I sat in my bed studying when suddenly I heard a knock at my door….it was strange it was midnight

I got up and walked to the front door, looking through the peephole to see Chris. I opened the door

“Chris? It’s midnight” I said confused

“I know and I’m sorry, but I need to speak to you” he said looking down

I moved for him to walk in, but he didn’t

“Are you going to stand there all night or?” I asked him

“Its your house…I can’t come in unless you ask me to” he said

“Alright well then Chris you can come in” I said to him

He walked in taking in his surroundings, almost like he was sniffing the place out?

“Chris you’re being weird” I said to him as his back was turned to me

“Why are you scared?” He asked me lifting his head up

“Who said I was scared?” I said to him

“I can feel it” he said rolling his neck

“Could you stop being weird, what the fuck is going on” I asked him

“I’m not sure how to say this” he said

“Well stop giving me your back and talk to me” I said crossing my arms over my chest

“I’m not sure that you want to see me” he said

“Please stop whatever this is, and just tell me why you’ve been acting so distant and strange” I said

“It’s for your own safety” he said

“Alright, I’m not sure what joke you and your brothers are trying to pull on me, but I’m over it” I said rolling my eyes

“This isn’t a joke” he said sternly

“So fucking look at me” I said getting upset

Chris turned around, and I’m sure all the blood drained from my face…..his eyes were red? Why are his eyes red?

“I….im not sure how to tell you” he said avoiding eye contact with me

“Chris take the fucking contacts out of your eyes, and get serious. I’m not buying this joke” I said rolling my eyes again

“This is real okay. I’ve been trying to tell you this for so long, but I just couldn’t do it” he said

“Chris what the fuck” I said confused

“I’m a vampire” he said to me

I looked at him and started laughing in his face

“Chris this is the funniest you’ve been in a while, like why would you think I believe this?” I said laughing at him

“Nick and Matt are too, those guys we’ve been hanging with, they turned us” he said calmly

“I do not believe you in the slightest” I said walking past him and into my room

He followed behind me

“You have to believe me okay” he said pleading

“Vampires are not real like you need help” I said looking at him

“I thought the same thing, and here I am” he said

“I need more proof” I said sighing

I wasn’t going to lie seeing Chris with red eyes was turning me on, and I wasn’t sure why

“Why are you turned on right now?” He suddenly asks me

“Excuse me?” I said my neck snapping back

“Your thoughts, I can hear them” he said giving me a weird look

“Stop doing that” I said to him shaking my head

“Look at my teeth” he said, and suddenly his fangs descended quickly, and then back up again

“Umm” I said starting at him perplexed

“I can hear your thoughts, my eyes are red, I have fangs and I can’t enter someone’s home unless they invite me in” he said looking at me

“HOLY SHIT” I said getting scared

“DONT GET SCARED” he said to me

“STOP READING MY MIND” I said to him

“I’m sorry I can’t help it” he said shaking his head

“Chris what the fuck am I supposed to do with this information?” I said blinking at him

“I don’t know. Understand why I’ve been the way I’ve been” he said

“I mean I’m understanding it, but I’m also confused” I responded back

“I was so confused at first too, and I didn’t want to get you involved so soon” he said

“I don’t know what to say” I said

“We want you to become one of us, that’s the only way I can be around you or else I might do something I don’t want to” he said

“Become one of you? Are you crazy?” I said looking at him

“You’re thinking yes though” he said smirking at me

“Get out of my fucking head” I told him

“Be one of us. Come on this way we can be together again with no problems” he said pleading

“Chris I don’t know” I said sighing

“You get to be a vampire, and you can fuck me…it’s not everyday a girl gets to say they fuck a vampire” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Who said I want to fuck you” I asked him

“Your mind…..and the smell of your arousal….oh so sweet�� he said seductively

“Chris…” I said looking at him

“You know you want to” he said smirking

“Fuck possibly, become a vampire no” I said bluntly

“Once again your mind is screaming yes” he said with a cheeky smile

“Stop it already” I said to him

Chris walked over to me leaning down and crashing our lips together, immediately making out with me

He pulled away and looked down at me

“Come on baby” he said winking

“Mmm fine” I said rolling my eyes

I stood up, and pulled him in to continue kissing him. Our teeth clashing together as we fought for dominance. I turned us around and backpedaled him till he sat on the bed

Once I pulled away I removed my shirt and bra along with my bottoms

“Mmmm so good” he said inhaling the air

He removed his shirt and I got on his lap reconnecting our lips. He broke us apart and continued to kiss down my neck till he got to my breasts

He took my left breast in his mouth first swirling his tongue around my nipple lightly grazing his fangs on my nipple

“Fuck Chris” I moaned out

“Mmm I’m trying to control myself baby” he said pulling away and swirling his tongue around my right nipple while gripping my ass

“Come on baby take your pants off” I said hopping off of him and waiting for him to oblige

Once Chris got his pants off and boxers I straddled him again

He ran his hands all over me while we made out. He moved down to my neck and once again allowed his fangs to graze the thin skin

“Oh Chris” I said while grinding down on him

“Shhh baby I won’t hurt you” he said smirking against my skin

He slid my panties to the side and helped me sink down onto his dick

“Fuckkkk” we both moaned out, and his eyes flashed to black

“Woah that was hot” I said in a moan

“Sorry baby when I can’t control myself my eyes change” he said helping me grind onto his dick

We sat at the each of the bed as I bounced on his dick, my hands running through his hair, and his hands gripping my ass

“Fuck baby just like that” he said moaning into my ears

“Mmm” I hummed out as I switched to grinding down onto him

“Fuckkk” he whisper out as he helped me grind down onto him

He kept letting his fangs graze against my skin, sending shock waves and goosebumps all down my body.

I continued to grind onto his dick, moaning and panting chasing my release.

“Come on baby give it to me” he said as he snaked his hand down to rub my clit with his thumb

“Shittttt” I moaned out pulling his hair hair

“Fuckkk” he moaned out deeply, his eyes turning black again

“God I love when you do that” I moaned out as I continued to grind down onto him

“Cum for me baby, come on, use me like a good girl” he said rubbing faster

“Oh god I’m going to cum” I started to moan out, my grinding getting sloppier

Within a few seconds I was clenching down on his cock as I began to cum. My body shaking as I came all over his dick, my mouth falling slack and my hands tugging harder as his eyes grew darker

“Fuck” I moaned out as I leaned against his chest coming down from my high

“Gonna swallow for me?” He asked

“Yes” I said getting off of his dick and falling to my knees

“Fuck a good girl” he said as he stroked his dick

He stroked faster, and within a few seconds he was cumming on my tongue. His eyes growing black, his jaw slack and his lower abdomen shaking

After he came on my tongues I swallowed, and he was petting my face

“Such a good good girl for me” he said smiling down at me

He helped me up, and we changed back into our clothes

“Lets go Dracula turn me already” I said laying back in my bed

“Woah woah be nice” he said

“Sorry Dracula, I’m ready vampira…is that better?” I asked smiling at him

“You’re so annoying” he said shaking his head

“Well bite me already” I responded back

“I’m not that powerful, so I don’t have to bite you, I just have to let you drink my blood” he said looking at me

“Oh god this seems gross” I said making a face

“I mean to you it is, to me that’s every two weeks” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Alright whatever! I’m ready” I said

Chris nodded, and punctured his finger with his fangs, bringing it to my mouth. I wrapped my mouth around his finger sucking and licking his blood

“Mmm if the events that are about to happen to you weren’t going to happen we’d be going for a round two” he said looking at me with half lidded eyes

I rolled my eyes at him as he pulled his fingers out. Within 20 minutes the feelings started, my head was hurting, my vision was blurry and I felt nothing but pain

“AHH FUCK” I started to yell out gripping my head

“It won’t last much longer” Chris said

“It better not” I managed out

I felt my jaw begin to shift as my fangs came in, my eyes started to shudder, and I felt the pain subsiding slowly

After 2 more minutes I was back to normal, and feeling weird….I felt empty

“Go look at yourself” Chris said smirking

I got up and walked to my vanity looking at my reflection, sharp fangs and red eyes….within a few more minutes my fangs went away, and my eyes shifted back to my natural eye color

“Feeling okay baby?” Chris asked me

“Yeah I’m feeling good” I said looking back at him

“You’re one of us now…” he said with a smirk

“This is crazy” I said shaking my head at him

“We should probably sleep, we have some hunting to do tomorrow night” he said winking at me

I agreed, and got in bed with Chris, falling fast asleep

The End

Down bad for vampire Chris like this has got to stop….but anywho lmk how yall liked this, and let me get to writing my other stuff😏🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplet smut #Christopher sturniolo smut #smut #Spotify

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zluty-spendlik · 29 days

Text

WAKFU REDESIGN AND REWRITE SERIES – PART 1

Evangelyne

Evangelyne used to be my favorite character growing up, which kind of sucks since she’s one of the flattest characters considering how much screentime she has.

Even when I was a little kid and watched this show I found it annoying how she was constantly drooled over by the guys and these days its pretty obvious she’s a very stereotypical not-like-the-other-girls girl, created solely to be Percedal’s (the literal incarnation of the expected target audience) love interest.

SHE EVEN HAS THE WHOLE „I let my hair down and now am so much prettier“ ARC HAPPEN FRICKING TWICE IN THE SPAN OF. WHAT- 5 EPISODES???

Evangelyne is a misogynistic character on so many levels, the only Eva-centric episodes we get are either ones she needs saving in (like Vampyro or the pirate one), or when she has a love arc with Percedal (the whole Rubilaxia shtick, or the tree of Life episode).

Honestly the only bearable scenes where she shows up are those where she interacts with Amalia and even those get twisted into weird sexist tropes: Evangelyne critisizing Amalia for buying too much clothes, or overall cringing at Amalia’s „too girly“ behaviour.

Even when they have a touching conversation after freeing Amalia’s father from the Tree of Life, Amalia immediatelly brings up Percedal and fails the Bechdel test.

I won’t even touch the Cleophée (or Cleome in english) trainwreck the writers pulled in season 2 or the whole pregnant-damsel-in-distress thing she had going on in season 3- I didn’t watch season 3 and 4 mostly because I got so mad after the misogyny happening in the first episode and I didnt want to ruin my already fragile excitement over the series.

But don’t get me wrong – Even tho Wakfu has a lot of potential for growth, I still love the series dearly, and would love to give the characters justice. It is important to note that I am not a professional writer and Im mostly doing this for my own indulgence, so please feel free to throw constructive critisism towards me.

Character rewrite

We don’t know much about Evangelyne’s backstory, or rather her story before she meets Amalia – And in my head as a kid, I always assumed she was an orphaned kid basically living on the street with Cleophée, until someone (presumably Armand, since he has a long-term crush on her and Amalia hated her at first) took pity on her and took her to the palace (once I figure out Cleophées design Ill explain what happens with her).

Fast forward a couple years, Eva is officially Amalia’s bodyguard, yadayadayada.

Important thing is, that this shapes Evangelyne’s personality and self-perception –

I have divided my potential Eva Arc into 3.5 Categories:

Self-protection and perservation

Eva knows how dangerous the world can be (streets) and how serious her job is, but she’s only seventeen. She takes her job way too seriously, in the sense that she doesnt trust anybody they meet (which is especially shown when they meet the Tofu gang). She doesn’t want anyone but Amalia close and deep down, she’s scared of other people.

She is horrible at teamwork, which only frustrates her and everyone around her. She fails to see the affection Amalia has for her, because her entire self is just a bodyguard.

She doesn’t know who she is without that.

Depression

Dally’s sacrifce absolutely traumatizes Eva, both in the canon and my version. It doesnt need to be seen as romantic tho (we’ll get to that). On top of that AMALIA BRIEFLY DIES AND COMES BACK. Can you HEAR Evangelyne’s entire purpose crumbling down?

In her head, two people just died because of her.

Besides, Percedal sacrifices himself because he cares for her. Not as a „coworker“ or a teammate, but as a friend and Evangelyne cannot fathom that sort of service and relationship.

And even though she failed, her friends are there to support her. Eva learns compassion.

Self-destruction

However, she now feels she has to „make up“ for her lack of compassion and her failings as a bodyguard. Long story short, she completely flips to the other extreme, basically throwing herself in any sort of danger to protect her friends (hence when she hears Dally, she immediatelly goes to Rubilaxia). In the show this is less extreme but portrayed as her real and true personality: more reckless and adventureous – but i think the writers just wanted Eva to finally have something in common with Dally (which, btw, uncool), but I’d like this to be portrayed as a bad thing.

Eva fails to see that she’s hurting herself and fails to recognize herself as a person rather than basically a human shield. This arc climaxes in the Cleophée episode and Eva learns that compassion is not transactional, or something to be earned.

Her true self

Evangelyne's final form! We dont know much about Eva's hobbies other than her job and fighting skills, HOWEVER Dally mentions Eva taught him tracking at one point and tbh Evangelyne being a ranger or just studying nature fits her pretty well imo! She is also canonically artistic (as confirmed by the journal she keeps).

I take issue with Evangelyne always being seen as the “mom of the group”. Yes, she's smart and responsible and caring, but that's her job, she's an older sister, less of a mother figure and more of an equal to the others in the gang.

Design

In s1, Id like her to wear a lot of armour with chainmail directly on her skin (haha get it because trust issues), and with a mostly green colour palette, cause, Sadida kingdom yk.

In her s2 look, she throws away most of her armour and self perservation instincts and since her personality completely flips, so does her colour palette - red! The first aid kit is gone and she wears an ascot now (a torn bit from Dally's cape lol).

And finally, i made her a furry I gave her some gadget shoes from Cleophée, helping her move faster, I put some of the armour back and made her hair longer. Her colour palette now consists not only green, but also the "Yugo blue", which i plan on incorporating in everyone's final design :D

AND FINALLY, AN ART DUMP

#wakfu #wakfu rewrite #wakfu redesign #wakfu fanart #wakfu evangelyne #pinpainting #long post #we do not support misogyny in this house #ive never met someone from the wakfu fandom irl why am i even bothering with a rewrite lol #im kinda sad i didnt watch the later seasons cause all the fanarts are from that part of the series #but also i took real physical damage watching s3 #anyway #whadaya guys thinn #im making it worse arent i #yap pin

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knoxic · 11 months

Text

A kiss may ruin a human life.

Oscar Wilde

-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

wc: 2,1k

warnings: miscommunications (but really there's almost no communication at all), self deprecating thoughts, mentions of death, ptsd, insomnia, anxiety, grief(?), angst,

i think that's it but please let me know if there's anything else!

a/n: this work implies that Hotch heard Haley's last breath. timeline is around season 6-7 but it doesn't really matter. this is heavily based on my own experience from death and hearing someone's last breath. Hotch is a little out of character but it'll get better i promise, this was supposed to be something just for myself but i decided to post it, that being said, im already writing part 2!

no use of y/n!

He was distant.

He kept avoiding you, every day, even when you got back to the hotel and had no other choice but to be around each other, he showered and said some casual phrases that he could damn well say to a stranger.

You tried to understand, he was stressed and haven't slept well in days but, fuck, wasn't it happening to everyone else? And they weren't avoiding you...

Asking if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted that shitty coffee just got you a cold and empty answer. "No, thanks.", "I've had enough for today, thank you.", "I'll just finish some files," and etc. Sure he was polite, you don't think he could be rude even if he wanted to, not with someone he was close to at least, but he was always so gentle and warm, had you done something to make him mad?

...

It started off just as every other day started, new case in a city you've never been to before. Sharing a room with your boss meant a different routine than if you shared with anyone else in the team, late nights and early mornings, the sound of pen scratching paper being the first thing you heard when waking up and the last when you were drifting off, you wondered if he even slept at all.

The answer was no, he barely ever slept during a case, especially if he could hear you breathing all night.

He was scared, scared it would happen again. It was unrealistic and he knew, it happened too many times already, but, twice, like that, was terrifying.

Terrifying to the point he was paralyzed, every night you whispered that sweet "Good night, Hotch." and it flipped the switch, he would now spend the night awake to make sure that you would tell him "Good morning, Hotch" in a gentle yet strong voice. That whisper sounded enough like the gasp he heard that one time, and it always immediately set off every trigger he had of that unfortunate day.

Every night he spent with you in the same room he tried to distract himself enough not to hear your steady breaths, finishing random files that weren't so important and sometimes even going as far as writing them twice. When he got tired enough to black out he laid out and hoped the second his head hit the uncomfortable pillow he would be asleep. That never happened.

He kept listening. You sometimes tossed and turned in your sleep and he knew it meant you were probably having nightmares but it always soothed his mind, if you were moving it meant you were still alive, and it blurred the agonizing sound of your breath.

Sometimes he slept, but even when he did, he kept listening, gun shots echoed inside his head, his aching hands clad with blood holding her body, the sound... the horrific, terrifying, agonizing sound of her last breath.

He thought it had stopped, he has triggers of course but, it wasn't always that they were set off like this, usually it happened sometimes when Jack slept on his chest and that meant carrying him to bed, but he normally allowed himself a bit of self care and went to his own room, far enough from his child to hear if he called but not close enough to hear his breaths. Being stuck in a hotel room did not allow him that. He tried soundproof headphones after the second night they spent together a couple years ago, he quickly figured it was somehow more agonizing than being able to hear.

Now, three days into the case he was desperate for a night alone, to drown in complete silence and darkness, thankfully, not what he wanted but close to it, you had gone to Emily's room to discuss something, he didn't know what it was and apparently you didn't care enough to tell him, or you just didn't want him to know.

He held himself back from sprinting to bed right after you left the room, surely it wouldn't look so good if you were to come back because you forgot something or for any other reason, he let 2 minutes pass by, anxiously, getting up quickly to take the fastest shower he could manage and jumped into bed, he almost decided against clothes before reminding himself that sooner or later you would come back, it took more time than he'd like but finally he was now in bed and drifting off quicker than expected.

...

"Emily..." you whimpered.

"Come on... it's Hotch," she rested a hand on your shoulder, "He's probably just going through something, i heard him tell Rossi last week that Jack were having some trouble with school, it might be that, right?"

"Yeah, but i feel like..." Emily was the only one who knew about your confused feelings for Hotch and still you hesitated, "i feel like it's something else... he's been avoiding me and barely looks me in the eye when we're alone."

Emily went silent for a few seconds, looking away and seemed to be deciding carefully what to say.

"Listen, you know i love you and support anything you decide to do, but..." oh god "You should talk to him, not me."

"I came to you exactly because i don't want to talk to him, even if i tried i don't think he would answer" You gave her the most pleading puppy eyes you could manage.

"There's only one way to find out, honey."

After a few more minutes of licking your wounds you gathered yourself enough to face Aaron, walking a little too fast to your shared room just to make sure you wouldn't have time to back down and run back to Emily. Thinking too many things and nothing at all just to distract yourself you ended up opening the door loudly, scaring yourself when the lights were off and you could barely make out the person under the blankets.

Had you really just opened a random door? Fuck!

Until, in your panic state your eyes caught a glimpse of Aaron's bag close to his bed, some files slipped out if it when he drastically dropped it earlier. Relieved, you slipped into the room and closed the door quieter than you had opened it, unsure if Aaron was indeed asleep or if he was pretending just so he wouldn't have to talk to you, a shower seemed to be the best thing to do.

It was weird, a part of you knew he was tired and going to sleep without someone else in the room is sometimes a lot easier, but, the bigger part of you kept thinking that he was doing this just to avoid you, to not have to force out a "Good night." when both of you knew it wasn't good for him, and it hurt.

Shower was indeed a good thing, the warm water doing wonders to your aching muscles and the sound of the water running was a good background for your mind to organize your thoughts. That same sound was what Aaron woke up to.

Looking around searching for what had woken him, he saw the light coming from the bathroom, the door didn't close all the way sometimes, you had to close it hard and he supposed you didn't want to make noise. He also searched for his phone to see the time, check how long it took for you to come back, but in his hustle earlier he had forgotten to pick up his phone, wherever it was he didn't feel like getting up to search for it.

In his sleepy state he had turned to watch the door, not really paying attention to what he was looking out for until he got a glimpse of you wrapping a towel around your body, he hadn't even noticed the sound of the water had stopped, snapping himself out of whatever this was he turned away from the door, right before he saw the light getting brighter and your quiet barefoot steps getting closer, a zipper being opened, rustle of fabric against fabric and the zipper being closed, steps again but this time going away and the room getting darker again.

It didn't take long for you to come back, he could smell the soap you always used, it only took him a couple days sharing a room and a bathroom with you to know every soap or perfume you owned smelled the same, peaches.

It almost physically pained him to not be able to smell it directly from your skin, he had hugged you and stood close enough to smell your perfume but, he knew it wasn't the same as your fresh out of the shower scent. It already smelled so comforting from this far, he was certain he'd go insane if he ever got the chance to hug you like this, out of any police department or hospital smell, just you.

He was so lost in thought he hadn't realized you had already settled in bed.

"Good night, Hotch..." he heard you whisper, so quietly he almost missed it, it made his heart stutter and beat faster.

Did you know he was awake? Did you see him looking at you through the opening door? He didn't see anything but the skin of your arms! Should he answer? No. Stop it, you idiot.

You turned again, again and again. The mattress was hard, the blanket felt like it kept scratching your bare legs, the pillow made you feel like a stone would be comfier, not to mention the discomfort of your mind telling you how uncomfortable Aaron must be to have you around that he even went to bed earlier just so he wouldn't have to see you, you must be pathetic to even have wished him a good night when he clearly didn't want you here-

"Are you okay?" There it was, his husky voice, he was sleeping and you disturbed him.

"Uh- yeah, sorry to wake you up." wow, that came out so weak, he definitely thinks you're pathetic.

The sound of his body turning and his voice that seemed to be right beside your ear made you shiver.

"You keep tossing and turning, your breath is faster than normal," he sighed. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?"

It's now or never.

"Have you- you have been avoiding me." you could hear Emily's voice saying it wasn't so hard was it?.

"No i haven't." that came out way too fast to be true, Hotchner.

"Yes you have, and you can barely even look at me when we're alone, you give me empty words and talk better to a rookie you will never see again," you were rambling but now there was no way you would stop. "If i did something to upset you, please tell me because, i can profile you but i cannot read your mind yet, and i can't apologize if i don't know what i did wrong."

"I-" gosh you were so self deprecating. "I'm sorry i made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong." he said in a weirdly soft voice.

"That- that doesn't make me feel better..."

"I'm sorry... it's... not something you did..." well, if you were talking than he should too. "It's you."

A couple seconds passed but they felt like minutes.

Your heart dropped, "What?" it couldn't be... you knew you weren't perfect but, to know your mind was right yet again felt... nauseating.

"Wait! wait," he was sitting up now, back to the headrest, his hand has making a gesture that you read as a calm down, he did that once with a child, to make them stop their rambling, you really were pathetic.

"Not you, i meant... ah fuck, it's complicated."

Now that you were already broken, you might as well just finish this, for once end what made you anxious, even if it meant losing your hopes of being with Aaron.

Your breath was harder and lost its rhythm. You could be going into a panic attack right now but Aaron was relieved, after hearing the way your voice got so... pained, he thought he ended this, that you would get up and leave him and the memories came back in a rush that made him dizzy, but you were still here, and breathing hard, unlike the breath Haley-

"Then tell me, unless you have something to do at 2am i think we have enough time, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as complicated as what we had going on." your voice was steady, no longer the panicked and embarrassed girl who just got rejected by their crush, that was the voice of a woman who took down seral killers for a living, who could damn well talk face to face with him if they were to fight. Now he felt small, he could tower over you if you two were standing up but he knew you were the bigger person.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine

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talaok · 1 year

Note

Could you please write an imagine where Pedro and reader know each other for a very long time and reader comes from a not so happy family (unlike Pedro)

He’s in love with her and she does love him but does believe love is real or that relationships can last (thinking everyone only wants her for her body from past flings) and can’t give him a chance due to fear

Happy ending if you want

Thanks

warnings: angst, and brief talk about reader's bad childhood

a/n: im starting to honestly think yall should start writing fics, cause the shit you come up with is so good like

The first time you told him you were 13.

You had showed up at his doorsteps asking for a place to sleep.

You couldn't stand another minute of hearing your parents scream at each other two doors down.

They hadn't even noticed you were gone, they never did.

He was your only real friend at the time, and after a sort of awkward moment with his parents, he'd led you to his room and asked what had happened.

And that's the first time he heard the sentence he'd grow to hate.

"Love isn't real. It never lasts"

Your parents were the proof. Love is a trap, it deceives you into thinking you can spend your life with someone, when really, all you're doing is locking yourself into a cage, and when you finally realize what you've done, it will be too late, because then you'll be scared to get out, to start new, and that's why you'll stay, forever imprisoned because your own stupid choices.

From then on, it became your mantra.

With every guy who disappeared after having gotten you into bed, with every guy who dumped you as soon as they'd seen what's underneath your clothes, one sentence engraved itself in your mind.

Love isn't real. Love isn't real. Love isn't real.

And that's why, he, of all people, knew better than anyone why he shouldn't tell you, why he should continue pretending like he'd been doing for almost twenty years,

Maybe he was a masochist, or maybe his feelings were getting too strong and they had started to fog his brain, but he couldn't hold it in anymore, he'd kept it hidden for too long, and no matter how many women he'd meet there was always you in the back of his mind.

It had always been you.

And that's why tonight... tonight he had finally let go.

"Y/n, I love you"

He saw you freeze before his eyes, shocked and terrified of the words that had just come out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry" he murmured, swiping his sweaty hands on his jeans and looking around your living room to try and gather some composure. "I'm sorry to drop this on you like this. I know how you feel about the whole... love thing" he winced internally as his eyes set anywhere but on yours "And- and I don't want to ruin our friendship, and it's ok if you don't feel the same way, but..." He swallowed what felt like sand in his mouth as he finally looked into your eyes "Y/n I've felt this way for so fucking long" he breathed "I-I think I was too young to understand it when we met, but as we grew up it just became clearer and clearer and... and I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore y/n, I'm sorry"

His words felt distant, muffled.

You felt like you were drowning and he was trying to talk to you from above the water.

He'd just told you the three words you dreaded most in the world, and now you didn't know what to do, or say, or even think.

And it wasn't the same as when any of your old boyfriends had said it, no, with him, with Pedro, those words scared you because they meant so much more,

because they reached into that deep, hidden part of you that... that felt the same way.

And that part of you was hidden for a reason, that part of you was the only thing that prevented you from becoming like your mom, from falling into the trap.

And now he'd just handed you the keys, and all you needed to do was decide to open the lock.

And you didn't know if you wanted to.

"I don't want to lose you y/n, the last thing I want is to lose you, you- you're the most important person in my life, I-I'd be lost without you, so if you don't feel the same way, it's fine, I promise it's fine, I can take it, but before you say anything I just want you to know that when I say I love you I mean it," Both your hearts were beating faster than they'd ever beaten before"I mean I love every single part of you, every single inch, that I love you when you sing off-tune and I love you when you call me in the middle of the night" he laughed "That- that I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you- that without you I wouldn't know how to breathe, that since I met you, I felt the need to become a better person so that maybe I'd deserve you." he said more softly now "And I'm sorry about your parents, and I'm sorry about everything that happened in your life, but I promise you that I'd never do anything to hurt you, that if you just give me a chance, I'll try my hardest to prove to you that love is real, that- that it can last if you just give it a try"

The soft roar of an engine made its way to your ears as a car drove by outside, the fabric of the couch felt itchy all of a sudden, and your breathing had become uneven.

You didn't know how long you both stayed silent, how long it took you to take in all he had just said, but when you finally opened your mouth, your voice didn't sound like your own.

"Pedro-" his eyes were filled with hope, but yours only with pain "Pedro you know how I feel about this" you murmured, like doctors did just as they delivered bad news "I'm sorry I- I can't do this, you know I can't... I just-" there was this feeling in your stomach, like all your organs were twisting, like your body was telling you you were making a mistake "I don't want to lose you, and I know that if we did... this, it would only end badly" you watched all the hope in his eyes crumble and you didn't think you'd ever hated yourself more than in that exact moment.

"I'm sorry Pedro," you said "I can't"

He didn't look like himself anymore, he didn't feel like it either. He felt as if all the life had left his body, and all that remained was a useless sack of skin.

But still, still, he couldn't help but realize that you hadn't said one thing, the one thing that was gonna make him give up forever.

"So you don't feel the same way?"

It wasn't tears threatening to spill from your eyes, it was liquid pain, liquid hatred for yourself.

"T-that doesn't matter"

He frowned, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't make him sound any more pathetic than he already was.

"B-but it does y/n. it does"

You swallowed thickly "Pedro, please" you begged

"I need to know," he said with a thread of voice

"I-I can't" you murmured, as a tear finally stained your cheek "I..."

He took that as his answer.

You didn't love him, and deep down, he'd always known.

"I think-" he cleared his throat to try and gain some composure, "I think it's best if I go," he said as he stood up.

you didn't know if you nodded, you didn't know anything anymore

He glanced back at you for a moment to see if there was any sign of you wanting to stop him, but your head was down.

both of your hearts broke with each step he took, and as he got farther and farther, this... feeling spread inside your body, this presentiment of having just made the biggest mistake of your life sneaked up your throat and robbed you of all oxygen.

And was only when his fingers grabbed the doorknob, and you grasped his arm, that you could breathe again.

"y/n-" he tried to speak, but you needed to do this before your mind could catch up, so you cut him off.

"I do," you said, as more tears fell from your eyes "I love you, Pedro"

His mind was a mess and his heart was a mess but he still managed to spit out a sentence

"Y/n, if you're saying that just because-"

"Pedro" you softly placed your hands on each side of his head, as you huffed out a silly laugh "Just kiss me"

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