#and I lose my new doctor and my ability to get new glasses this year

[vitiateoriginator]

I'm losing my medical insurance at the end of the month :)

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: heard of hearing and/or partially blind Steve + his parents realizing. Maybe they come home & see how their house has changed to be more accessible for Steve? Or something like that.

HONESTLY THIS ONE HURTED. But as usual, you provide the quality shit!!!! Poor Steve, but also if it ain't hurt/comfort, then did I even write it? Everyone loves Steve. Except his parents. His parents suck. But everyone else? Angels. Hope you love it darling!!! - Mickala ❤️

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Concussions were a bitch.

Multiple concussions in a three year period were a bitch.

But the worst part was when he noticed he couldn’t hear out of his left ear. Robin had been talking to him at work on his left side, whispering about some customer that was walking down every single aisle as if they didn’t know what movies were out, and he didn’t even notice until she switched sides halfway through a sentence.

He pretended it was fine, that he’d heard her the whole time, but then she asked him a question he couldn’t answer. She walked to his left side and said something, and when he shook his head, she bit her lip, fighting back tears.

“It’s okay, Robs. I can still hear out of the other one,” Steve said to comfort her, but also to comfort himself.

If he lost it in one ear, he could lose it in the other, and then what?

She tried to convince him to get a hearing aid, but he didn’t think he needed one.

“Your parents sent you money for medical expenses, use it for this!”

But he couldn’t.

And then he started getting blurry vision in both eyes. The left was rapidly growing worse, and Dustin noticed.

“Dude, you’re squinting. Do you have a migraine? You could’ve had Eddie drive me.”

“Nah, just tired. Trying to focus.”

Part of that was true. The squinting helped him focus a little, but he knew he had to do something about it.

So he sat down with Robin and came up with a plan.

He hated every fucking second of it.

“You get a scan first, we need to know if this is gonna keep getting worse or what permanent damage is there. You get glasses-“

“I might not need-“

“You get glasses. Then you get fitted for a hearing aid.”

“Yes ma’am,” Steve rolled his eyes.

But looking back, he was grateful Robin made him do it.

The doctors had been amazed he was able to talk with the damage done.

“Will I lose my ability to talk?” He asked, realizing that not being able to hear, see, and talk was too much for him to deal with.

“I think we can work through some physical therapy type exercises to make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m glad you came in now and not a few years from now.”

Robin never said ‘I told you so,’ probably sensing that Steve wasn’t coping well with the news.

They told him he would most likely lose all hearing over the years, and his vision would progressively get worse, though it would most likely plateau and he wouldn’t lose it completely.

They said he needed to do vocal exercises every day, brain exercises as often as possible, and to come back the moment he recognized any change in his speech.

So he lived with the anxiety of not being able to communicate with anyone he loved every second of every day.

Dustin, Will, Mike, and Max had done research for weeks, finding things they could do to help him live in his house alone. Sure, they were there often, almost enough to be considered roommates, but that wouldn’t always be the case.

They would all grow up and leave.

Max had lost her own vision after Vecna, only able to see light and sometimes movement, but never any detail.

The day he got his glasses, she threatened him with murder if he didn’t wear them.

“The more you strain your eyes, the worse they’ll get. Wear the glasses. I’m sure you look just as cute as always.”

He didn’t have anything to say to that, but he didn’t want to piss Max off, so he wore them all day every day.

Dustin had found a way to wire the doorbell to the lights in the whole house, so if it rang, and somehow Steve couldn’t hear, he’d see the lights flash three times from any room he was in.

He’d done something similar with the walkie, so Steve would know if someone was trying to communicate with him.

Will figured out a light system for the phone, where it flashed with green while it rang and red if he missed a call that went to their voicemail.

It only worked if he was in the kitchen, living room, or his bedroom and paying attention, but the thought behind it made him want to cry.

He got debilitating migraines frequently, which left him bedbound, unable to even get up to use the bathroom on his own sometimes.

They figured out a signal for his walkie that he could push the button in a sort of Morse code to make sure someone knew he needed help.

If he couldn’t get to his walkie for some reason, Dustin programmed buttons on all the phones: *1 called Robin, *2 called Eddie, and *3 called Dustin.

All of his meds were moved to the drawer by his bed, with a reminder note in every room of his house, just in case he forgot.

Which was apparently another thing he had to worry about: his memory.

The doctors seemed to think he would be okay if he stayed active and healthy otherwise, and definitely needed to avoid another concussion, but they did say he could notice some issues as he got older.

Mike looked up what vitamins he needed to help boost his memory and vision, and increased his iron intake to hopefully stave off some of the migraines before they even started. He put the instructions with his medication reminders all over the house.

But what surprised him most was what happened when his parents came home early on a random Thursday morning.

He was dealing with a bit of a migraine hangover, the day before being a blur of calling for help, reaching for his meds, and Eddie arriving to make sure he stayed hydrated and made it to the bathroom as needed.

Eddie was still here, in fact.

So when he heard them banging around downstairs, his eyes flew open and he looked at a still sleeping, very shirtless Eddie next to him in his bed.

Nothing happened obviously. Eddie just ran hot.

But his parents had already been questioning him a lot about not having a girlfriend in a while and hanging out with “queers” like those two things alone could make him gay.

And if they saw Eddie like this, they would make assumptions.

Assumptions that would get him kicked out of the house that everyone just worked so hard to make accessible for him.

So he got up as quickly, but quietly as he could, ignoring the buzz in his ear where his hearing aid was loose from sleeping in it. He wasn’t technically supposed to, but he didn’t like anyone touching his head on migraine days so it stayed in.

Eddie didn’t budge, and he hoped he stayed that way while he tried to keep his parents busy.

Then the lights flashed and he heard the distant high pitched ring of the doorbell.

“What the hell?” His father asked as Steve ran down the stairs.

“Steven?” His mother asked as he flew past them and made it to the front door.

“Steve!” Dustin yelled excitedly as Steve glared at him.

“Dustin, not now.”

“Why? I saw Eddie’s van, so I figured-“

“Who is at the door, Steven?”

Steve closed his eyes and heard Dustin mumble ‘shit’, before he turned around to face his parents.

His glasses were dirty, but he could see that the looks on their faces were not impressed.

“Since when do you wear glasses?” His mom asked.

“Is that a hearing aid?” His dad added.

“Dustin, I’ll call you later.”

“Answer the questions.”

“I started wearing glasses and the hearing aid after a few concussions that caused a lot of damage.”

“What’s going on with the lights? Do they always flicker like that?”

Steve hadn’t really expected them to care much about him, but it still hurt a little how quickly they became concerned about the house instead of him.

“They’re a visual aid so if I’m not wearing my hearing aid or my hearing gets worse, I’ll know when the doorbell rings.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Yeah, it is,” Eddie said from the stairs, luckily not shirtless.

“Who the hell are you?” Steve’s dad didn’t waste time with pleasantries, he never did unless someone had something to offer him.

“I’m Eddie. Steve’s friend.”

“His friend?” Steve’s mom was hesitant to be obvious about what she meant, but everyone could understand where she was going with the questioning.

“Yeah, or would you prefer if we were boyfriends?”

Steve couldn’t help the snort he let out.

Eddie wasn’t the type to hide himself away, but he wouldn’t purposely make Steve’s life harder.

“Is there a reason you’re here?”

“I was taking care of him yesterday. It got late so I stayed.”

“Take care of him?” His mother turned back towards him. “Are you sick?”

“I get migraines.”

“We all get migraines, Steven,” his father said as he crossed his arms.

“But we all don’t get the kind that leave us crying and throwing up for hours on end because we can’t even see straight, do we, Richard?” Eddie asked as he walked closer to them.

“I don’t know who you think you are-“

“I told you, I’m Eddie. And as far as I’m concerned, I, and quite a few other people in town, are quite good at taking care of Steve. Unlike his parents.”

“Steve’s a grown man-“

“Yeah, now. But where were you when he wasn’t and got the concussions that caused this?”

Steve could feel his head pulsing, and he knew his migraine would be back at full force if he didn’t rest.

He took his hearing aid out for a bit of relief, the volume of his father and Eddie arguing going down considerably.

He massaged his neck the best he could, knowing that the release of some tension would at least keep the pain at bay until this could be over.

Then, he saw the phone start flashing green.

“What is going on with the phone?”

His mother directed the question at him, but Eddie stopped berating his father long enough to answer her.

“It’s so Steve knows it’s ringing if he happens to have his hearing aid out like he does now. In case no one is here with him and someone needs to reach him.”

“That explains not answering our calls.”

“I think that could just be that you don’t call at all.”

Eddie moved closer to Steve.

“Go upstairs, Stevie,” he said quietly into his right ear. “I can handle them.”

Steve was too tired, too frustrated, too borderline on a migraine to fight.

He walked upstairs, ignoring his father’s protests, his mother’s pleas, and Eddie standing in front of them both raising his voice to be heard.

Everything felt blurry as he removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes when he made it up the stairs.

His room was dark still, the blackout curtains still drawn closed, lights off, like Eddie had suspected it might be a bad day again.

His pills were on the table, a cup of water next to them. He set his glasses down and took them, trusting that Eddie followed the instructions perfectly.

He always did.

He always took such good care of him.

He came at the drop of a hat, even if Robin was already here. He brought Steve’s favorite soda, insisted it helped with migraines even though it probably didn’t. He massaged the spot on Steve’s neck that always held the most tension, pulled him close until he fell asleep on the couch or in the bed, always on his chest.

He’d been learning and teaching everyone sign language too.

Steve had started learning immediately, and so did Robin, but Eddie had insisted on it too, and started teaching the kids. He’d been showing Max one sign at a time, putting her fingers and hands into the movement so she knew how to do it.

And Steve didn’t think he could love Eddie more.

But he figured if Eddie was interested in him, he would have made a move already.

He could very distantly hear Eddie’s voice saying something, but he wasn’t sure what. With his hearing aid out, he usually couldn’t hear anything downstairs from his room.

He closed his eyes, settling under the blankets so he could try to do what Eddie wanted him to.

He drifted in and out, tired, but not quite enough to fall asleep all the way.

At some point, Eddie had made it back to the room and got in bed, his hand running through Steve’s hair gently.

“Eds?”

“It’s alright, Stevie. Your parents are gone. They won’t be back again for a while.”

“Mkay.”

He let himself drift again, safe with Eddie there.

[countrymusiclover]

13 - We’re in Trouble

Princess Red Thief

Part 14

Tag list - just ask to be added @mystrey101 @melvia-ito @kmc1989 @tallrock35

A nurse rolled me back in a wheelchair into the available room we had for our doctor appointment. The nurse left me and Rumple alone for a few minutes where he offered me a hand helping me to stand and climb up onto the exam table. "I think the wheelchair wasn't necessary, dear."

"Forgive me for being concerned for your health. We have no idea how the curse is affecting the baby in your belly." He responded to me rubbing his thumb over my palm while still holding my hand.

I sent him a glare. "Or you're just concerned since I broke into Regina's office and jumped out of the building in a land without magic."

"This world is still dangerous just like back in our land."

"And you doubt my ability without magic to not get hurt. That's what you are saying." I pointed out.

He shakes his head. "I didn't mean it like that, Eve. You are very capable of protecting yourself."

"Am I now? Then why be so concerned for me." I asked him waving my finger in his face just to prove a point to the dark one. "I'll have you know that I was trained by the greatest thief in the land. Robin Hood, that's how I got into your castle to steal your dagger in the first place."

Rumple moved his hand from mine, cradling my cheek in it. "I only wish that you and the baby are alright because I lost my first wife and child years ago. It broke me and I don't wish to lose the new woman that I love."

I smiled leaning into his palm. "I know you mean well. Just doubt, count me out so soon. I'm stronger than most think a princess would be."

Someone knocked on the door where we turned our attention towards it. The door opened and I saw a shorter man with glasses on his face come in. "Good morning, Ms. Royal. I'll be checking on your baby today."

"Doc. Is it really you?" I couldn't stop myself from showing pure joy at seeing the smaller dwarf standing in front of me. Sneezy worked at a convent store and Grumpy owned a boat. The rest of the dwarfs I had yet to really see in 28 years.

He gives me a somewhat confused look. "Of course I'm a doctor. Otherwise I wouldn't be working here."

"That's not what I meant - uh never mind." I started to say something until Rumple nudged my shoulder silently telling me to drop it.

Doc sat down his clipboard, having me lay down on the table. He rubbed a cold dye on my stomach and put the device over it before we could see a blurry image of something appear on the screen. "It appears that everything is going fine. But I do have to ask, were you aware that there's twins?"

"Twins - I - I thought it was just one baby." I lifted my head up trying to get a better view of the screen now.

Doc shakes his head, scribbling a note down on the chart. "We'll regardless Ms. Royal. I think you will be a good mother and I'd suggest that you take it easy with some bed rest for these last few weeks."

"We'll do our best." Rumple responds watching him leave the room hearing something in my bag going off like crazy. He hands me my backpack once I had set upright on the edge of the bed. "What's buzzing in there?"

Taking the bag from his hands I reached inside finding the radio that Henry had given me. "It's Henry. Henry come in. It's Everly."

"Everly! Emma is trying to leave Storybrooke. August tried to get her to believe but now he's turning back into a wooden boy."

Glancing over at Rumple I knew I needed to go help him otherwise the curse would never be broken. "Okay, okay, uh I'll be there as fast as I can."

"What does that kid think she will do to her?" Rumple asked helping me off the table and we made our way into the hospital hallway thankful that no one was there so we could have a normal conversation.

Sliding my backpack on my right shoulder I answered him back. "I'll find out. But in the meantime you should probably go and get the egg inside the safe place. Just in case we need whatever is inside of it."

"I'll do my best. Just be safe, princess." He nodded in agreement before I went down a different hallway knowing that Snow's apartment wasn't very far from here. If this was like what happened to Snow and Charming then we had a major problem.

The next time I rubbed the sleep from my eyes I lifted my head up from the pillow seeing that Rumple wasn't there after what we had done a few hours ago. Climbing out of the bed I shrugged my discarded tunic on the floor and draped the blanket over the rest of my body walking into the large main room. "Rumple, Rumple!"

"No need to shout dear. Come here I wish to show you something." His voice led me to find him standing in front of the large mirror he kept in the corner, back in his leather clothing.

Crossing the room I laid my head on his shoulder curiously in my tone. "What is it you want to show me?" He snapped his fingers and the image in the mirror changed to the middle of the woods with the dwarfs and Charming gathered around a coffin.

The dwarves remove the lid of the coffin. Prince Charming kisses Snow White. A pulse of magic spreads throughout the land and to my relief she gasped opening her eyes. "You.You found me."

"Did you ever doubt I would?" Charming asked her with a huge grin on his face.

Snow sat up in the coffin with his help smiling at her Prince. "Truthfully, the glass coffin gave me pause."

"Well, you never have to worry. I will always find you." Charming held her face in his hands before they shared a kiss together and the image in the mirror disappeared showing mine and Rumple reflection.

Rumple turned to face me, taking one of my hands in his own. "Looks like things are falling right into place for my plan to work."

"What was the magical egg for?" I questioned him knowing he had put it inside Maleficent for some unknown reason that he hadn't told me about yet.

He replied changing the subject when my stomach grumbles. "It's a fail safe for a rainy day. Now let's get some food." He walked off going to magically make food for us leaving me to let my thoughts wonder. Someday the need for the magical egg would be revealed to me.

Running up the stairs I busted into the apartment since the door wasn't locked for me to see Henry and Emma hugging until he noticed me standing there. "Everly! Tell her she can't leave."

"Henry, what's wrong?" I asked him when he was standing in front of me almost bawling in tears.

Emma gave me a confused expression. "Henry, you've got to stop including other people into this curse thing."

"But it's the truth." He fought her.

Emma sighed, covering her face with her hand. "Eve, I'm sorry to get you involved in this. I'm leaving town and he isn't handling it well."

"Who gave you the turnover dessert then?" I asked, peeking over her shoulder and seeing the dessert sitting on a plate.

Emma answered. "Regina gave it to me."

Henry sniffed it, gasping. "Apple! You can't eat that. It's poison."

"What?" Emma asked.

Henry explains to her. "Don't you see? The deal… It was all a trick to get you to eat that, to get rid of the saviour."

"Henry, come on. Why would she do that when I just told her I was going to go?" His birth mother wasn't understanding anything he was saying.

Henry snapped at her. "Because as long as you're alive, you're a threat to the curse."

"He's telling the truth. That apple is the same one that put your mother under a sleeping curse until your father woke her up with a kiss."

Emma still disagrees. "Henry, you've got to stop thinking like this. Especially when you think about what you're doing to Eve's mental state."

Henry moved closer to the turnover to block it from her grasp while I just closely watched their confrontation. "But it's the truth! And you leaving isn't going to change that."

Emma stepped forward to eat the turnover until he grabbed it from her hands. "I'll prove it to you."

"Henry No!" I drew out a dagger I had hidden inside my boot from my old thriving gear. Moving towards him I held the blade tip towards him.

Emma gasped but I sent her a warning look. "Whoa Eve - Henry… What are you doing?"

"Henry, I don't want to hurt you. But I will if you try and eat that. You don't know if you'll wake up in this land like the Charming's did." I explained to him slowly stepping towards the kid.

He takes a few steps backwards not sitting it down but rather focusing his attention on his mother. "I'm sorry it had to come to this. You may not believe in the curse… Or in me. But I believe in you."

He took a bite of the turnover before I saw his body beginning to collapse. "See? You want to have some ice cream with that? And then we can go back to talking about…"

"Henry! No, no - ahh!" I managed to catch his body in my arms even with my big pregnant belly getting in the way. Holding him against my chest I felt tears fall down my face till a sharp pain shot through my stomach and I felt some water come out between my legs.

Emma bent down concerned for Henry and could see some worry in my eyes. "Henry! Eve, what's wrong?"

"He's under a sleeping curse - urgh! And my babies are coming. Get us to the hospital right now." I told her I was feeling my chest tightening in fear. I needed to tell Rumple but there didn't appear to be enough time.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[bookwermthings]

My Jack Harkness Playlist

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the post where I explain my Jack Harkness playlist and how my (currently) 73 songs relate to him and his life!

This will be a long post. Spoilers for Torchwood, and for the audio Mighty and Despair. You have been warned.

Also the songs are mostly in chronological order of his life events.

Also sorry for the inconsistency between lengths of descriptions for each song. I was determined to finish it all in one night, but I got tired and started using less effort to explain. Took me over two hours to make in the end. If you have any questions, I’d love to elaborate on my feelings for any of the songs!!

So, here we go!

1. Jack’s Love Theme

(this is such a beautiful theme) Ever since a young age, Jack has expressed love deeply, loved everyone with his whole heart. Until his heart gets broken by his guilt at the loss of Gray and he keeps everyone at a little more of a distance, and further down the road after that, keeps everyone at a distance because he is immortal. For Jack, love and life are the two constants

2. No Roses by The Builders and The Butchers

For this, I have @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe to thank! This is an amazing song for Jack’s childhood, losing Gray, and in general his relationship with Gray and I love it a lot.

3. American Healthcare (Glitzy) by Penelope Scott

The lyrics to this give me the feeling of being stressed and traumatized but joking about it because it’s the only thing you can do. Wanting to help people and keep people alive but realizing that everything is corrupted. This brings to mind Jack in the Time Agency years to me.

4. You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate

This is a very simple song that I believe showcases Jack’s tendency and ability to charm anyone he meets.

5. YES MOM by Tessa Violet

This is a song that encapsulates Jack’s vibe in the Time Agency. He loves himself (or at least pretends he does). He can be his own hype man. If not doing terrible, he’s at least doing well compared to later.

6. Weak by AJR

Jack being a lot like John in these days, drinking, partying, drugs, the whole lot. Sure, it’s bad for him, but he doesn’t care. Not enough to do anything about it.

7. I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper by Sarah Brightman, Hot Gossip

I included this one because John Hart had to claim it was their song, and I fell in love with it. It’s a good song to reference John and Jack’s relationship, along with this next one.

8. Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer

The John vibes! The Jack and John vibes! Their relationship can be encapsulated in these lyrics, really, the whole song would have to be quoted if I started quoting it. I love it!!!

9. The Funeral by YUNGBLUD

Jack is not taking care of himself, not at all, as shown by the beginning of the song. He’s not eating right, not sleeping right, has no clean clothes. He hates himself, he loves himself, he tells himself it’s alright that he dreams about the day he dies. This is Jack after the Time Agency. He believes that if he dies, no one would come to his funeral, so he is doing everything he can to distract him from that fact, doing con after con. Until Rose and the Doctor show up.

10. Build a Bitch by Bella Poarch

Kind of out of order but a good song. I love the message, and Jack would definitely have this kind of attitude if someone criticized him.

11. Michelle by the Beatles

A soft, old fashioned love song. Jack in a heartbeat.

12. Die For A Night by YUNGBLUD

Thoughts Jack had before he met Rose and the Doctor, that would become very ironic as he later came to see. 

13. Victorious by Panic! At The Disco

A happy day. The day that everybody lived. Encapsulating a feeling of unhealthy happiness that would eventually become something new with his newfound Friends.

14. I Think I’m In Love by Kat Dahlia

The moment he falls in love with the Doctor and with Rose are both so early on, and they hit him so hard, he doesn’t want to admit. But he does. He’s happy.

15. CASTLE OF GLASS by Linkin Park

Feeling insignificant next to how amazing his partners are sometimes, but realizing how much better they all make each other. Realizing who he is is alright. A song about holding each other up, showing each other how to be whole again.

16. Talk To Me by Cavetown

Feeling like he can be himself, Rose and the Doctor reassuring him about all his faults, being there for him. Being able to talk to each other. Nothing is easy, it will never be, that’s alright, let it out, talk to me.

17. Two Birds by Regina Spektor

Jack and The Doctor. Two birds on a wire. The Doctor says there is nothing he won’t understand, says he won’t let go of Jack and then he FUCKING LIES. He leaves him, and doesn’t come back. This song is feels. This event is feels. Uergh.

18. Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland

Jack, left on the Game Station, and down on the planet below after the first few deaths, wondering what he did to deserve this, and wondering why he is like this. Thinking through every word he ever said, everything he ever did. Why did the Doctor leave? Mistakes on loop inside his head.

19. Alien Boy by Oliver Tree

He feels like an alien among the human beings in the 1800s.Sure he was a time agent, but he’d never had to be among a different time period for this *long*.

20. Wishful Drinking by Tessa Violet

Wishful thinking while he’s drinking. Dying repeatedly, drinking himself to death, thinking about how he could drown? None of it’s a problem if he doesn’t get caught. He’s sprialing.

21. Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

A slideshow of death. He gets knocked down, and he gets back up again.

22. Captain Jack - Short Mix by Captain Jack

He gets “conscripted” by Torchwood. This song is happy and sad. At least he’s found a way to get to the Doctor again - wait. It’s also just a really catchy song. I found it when watching video edits.

23. WWIII by grandson

Being in World War I and World War II he just feels so, so tired of death.

24. Which Side Are You On? by Pete Seeger

It’s an old song. It feels like a Jack song. Idk why, though, sorry. And I felt like he could really use a union with how he was treated.

25. Being Alive (from “Company”) by John Barrowman

A soft, slow song about being alive, about being hurt, about living. Celebrating being alive, because he’s starting to live again.

26. Cat’s In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

Having Melissa/Alice. Fearing she would grow up just like him, but loving her all the same. The pain as she grew older and he couldn’t see her anymore. Hoping she was better off without him.

27. Ur Gonna Wish U Believed Me by Cavetown

Jack after Alex kills the whole team on New Year’s. The 21st Century is when everything changes. You’re going to wish you believed me.

28. The Trick by AJR

He lies. He omits truths. To everyone. His trick is he can be anything he pretends to be. But one day he’ll run out of lies, one day he’ll run out of things he’s proud of. One day he’ll have to face the truth, that he’s screwed.

29. We’ve Got A Score To Settle by The Dear Hunter

A Torchwood badass song, once Jack is the leader of Torchwood, he’s hurting but he’s getting better. They’re doing something together, and he’s going to make a change. Torchwood has had so much blood on their hands, and so has he, and he’s going to do everything he can to fix it.

30. Girls/ Girls/ Boys by Panic! At The Disco

Something to spice things up. To me, in this playlist, this is about pride, and its origins and how Jack celebrates it after living through so much of the time where you could be hurt, killed, arrested for being gay. I should write a fic about that, really.

31. Riptide by grandson

He’s done bad things to good people, been caught up in it and these feelings for too long. He’s had to make so many hard decisions that no one else has had to make and sometimes they come back to bite him in the ass.

32. Torchwood Theme

This is where the show starts in the timeline of this playlist. So I put this theme here.

33. Tissues by YUNGBLUD

He knows he’s falling in love with Ianto. He knows this will end in tragedy no matter what happens but he also knows they both want, Need, to be loved. He can’t keep holding his breath on this forever.

34. Carried Away by Passion Pit

Just being so happy, being with his family slowly growing closer together. Getting lost in the feeling. 

35. Bike Dream by Rostam

Another Ianto love song. There is a Jack he does see and a Jack he doesn’t see, but Jack loves him so, so much. There is a side of Jack he might never get to meet. Not Yet. Not until after he comes back from the Year That Never Was.

36. Who We Are by Imagine Dragons

Another badass Torchwood team song. This is who they are. 

37. Voodoo Child by Rogue Traders

This is the Master’s song that he plays, it haunts me, and it might haunt Jack, as everything about that year does.

38. Gagging Order by Radiohead

A feeble protest against what the Master has been drilling into him form the very beginning - “I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not your property, no matter what you say”. He feels like he’s just a body after so long of hopelessness, of death.

39. All Time Low by Sam Tsui

Thinking of Ianto, during his year away. Maybe Ianto dies in front of him. He’s at an all time low. He can’t fix his pride, he can’t fix anything.

40. Amsterdam by Coldplay

Everything is terrible, everything is painful, but you know what? Time is on his side. 

41. 50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train

A good fun, upbeat song, about all the different ways one can die. Possibly also how Ianto feels about Jack leaving for months right after coming back to life and kissing him.

42. Twenty Twelve by Matt Maeson

Wanting to stay with Ianto forever, adjust to adjusting forever. Wanting to open his heart to him, but knowing how hurt Ianto feels. Knowing he can’t leave anymore, now that he realizes what is here for him. He can act like his act is together, but in the end, Ianto sees through it, and will patch him together.

43. Tightrope by Michelle Williams

A Jack/Ianto love song about wanting to follow Ianto anywhere, knowing he can’t. Knowing it’s dangerous, never knowing when it will end, but it comes with a breathtaking view.

44. Yesterday Was Hard On All of Us by Fink

About the episode Meat. That day was hard on all of them, so stressful, and bringing back traumatic memories for Jack. Probably bringing back cannibal memories for the rest of them, too.

45. Walking The Wire by Imagine Dragons

Honestly, pretty similar to Tightrope, but I like it. More emphasis on the danger, and dealing with everything as they get to it.

46. Wanted by Hunter Hayes

He wants to make them feel wanted. <3

47. Two by Sleeping At Last

Giving up everything, not taking care of himself, to protect everyone else around him. Everyone he loves. Two.

48. Undisclosed Desires by Muse

A careful, loving, sexy song for Ianto Jones and Jack.

49. The Ballad of Ianto Jones 

I love this one so much, and it breaks my heart.

50. This Is Gonna Hurt by Sixx:A.M.

He always knew it was going to end but as the 456 say those dreadful words he realizes how short it really was. This is way too soon, and ironically, there is nothing he can do. This is gonna hurt.

51. All The Angels by My Chemical Romance

Blaming himself song.

52. Take It All Back by Judah & The Lion

“I’d take it all back, take it all back, take it all back, just to have you” I laugh sob every time this song comes on…

53. What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

54. The Unforgiven by Metallica

55. Wrong side of Heaven

All three of these (53,54,55) are about Jack blaming himself for everyone’s deaths. Tosh, Owen, Ianto, Steven. I couldn’t just pick one song, sorry. He spends a long time feeling guilty.

56. You Or Your Memory by The Mountain Goats

Starting to grieve in a more healthy way.

57. Used To Haunt by The Mountain Goats

All his old friends are always welcome in the hallways they used to haunt now, whether the memories or painful or not, he’s just glad to remember them.

58. Jack, You’re Dead! by Joe Jackson

When he doesn’t respond, when he doesn’t even initiate flirting anymore, he feels more dead than if he was, and he doesn’t care. But also this is a really fun song!!

59. Don’t Feel Like Feeling Sad Today by YUNGBLUD

Deciding that today, even if he is sad today, he is not going to sit in it. He is going to start living.

60. Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park

Breaking the bad habits he has built up in all the years since Ianto’s death. It’s hard, it is oh so hard, but he needs to. No more drinking just for the sake of it, no more dying just for the sake of it. He is breaking the habit tonight.

61. A Thousand Years by John Barrowman

Loving people and remembering them for a thousand years or more. It’s hard, but he wouldn’t want to forget.

62. What’s My Age Again? by blink-182

Honestly it’s about the mood of the song, and the name. He forgets his age, really does it matter? He should act his age, but really does it matter? He should live, and love, and do what makes him happy.

63. 42 by Coldplay

This was originally the 42nd song… anyway, this for me references him living on the planet he lives on in Mighty and Despair, trying to find a way through the veil. Those who are dead are not dead, they’re just living in his head. There must be something more.

64. Wild Sage by The Mountain Goats

A soft nice song about the first while when Carla and Persis are there.

65. Good King Wenceslas by The Oxford Trinity Choir

Christmases with Carla and Persis. A good reminder that life can be good.(for those not in the know, Carla and Persis are from Mighty and Despair, a Lives of Captain Jack audio)

66. You Are Enough by Sleeping At Last

Feeling like he is enough, those simple words can do so much. Helping Carla and Persis to see that they are enough, too.

67. Don’t Go by YUNGBLUD

Realizing that Persis is going to grow old, is growing old, not wanting her to go, not wanting her to leave him, almost not being able to handle how close they’re all getting.

68. Woke Up New by The Mountain Goats

The first time in decades, in thousands and thousands of years in a way, that he had woken up alone. It hurt, it fucking hurt, and he didn’t know what to do. Just… read all the lyrics to this. Please. IT FITS THIS SO WELL I’M GOING TO CRY. “What do I do without you”

69. You Are A Memory by Message To Bears

A slow, soft song about the fact that everyone he has ever lost is eventually nothing but a memory, and even that might fade.

70. MEMORIES by YUNGBLUD

Wanting to let go of the painful memories. Knowing every time he falls asleep he will wake up alone. “Cause when I said forever, I meant forever.”

71.  Yellow by Jodie Whittaker

Appreciation for mortal beings. Made of skin and bone, but they are so beautiful.

72. Welcome To The Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch

Jack Harkness is not happy yet, but he is way less sad.HIs life is a constant cycle of loving, losing, and learning to love again.

Being loud and proud about not being ashamed, not being afraid, not being ok. About everything that he is and is going to be.

73. Way Less Sad by AJR

[bookpersonmaryj]

Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

1.ooof okay so I have A Lot of current projects, but the one that I've been working on the most over the last week is probably the tma chatfic (working title, I'll have to come up with something better at some point).

it's, well, a chatfic, which you can probably guess from the title, but more specifically: (spoiler warning for the magnus archives here!!!) basically, all the avatars have a groupchat and Annabelle Cane adds Jon at some point after he gets promoted, because they all think he's Aware of serving an eldritch fear entity and are Surprised when he is clueless as to what the hell they're all talking about

i've been writing on it for over at least... two years i think? and a few days ago edited the bits i wrote separately to fit into the bit that's more story-like, at which point i discovered that i'm at 95 pages??? somehow??? so yea there's progress, despite there being literally no plot besides Jon Finds Out About The Entities And Has A Few Breakdowns.

what i love about it: Everyone Is Queer (because i was figuring out my gender at the time and thought i was just being supportive to trans/nb people and not relating that stuff to myself) and There Is No Angst (okay that's a lie, there's a bit angst, but mostly it's really entertaining and not angsty) and I have so much fun writing the characters???

pretty sure a lot of the characters are OOC but I don't really care, it's far too funny to have the avatars bully Jon for having a crush on Martin (yes this fic is also jonmartin with jon getting over his denial Very Quickly during what constitutes as s1)

honorable mentions here to the other fics i'm working on right now: the doctor who bodyswap au we all needed after potd where they Actually Bodyswap, the doctor who fic where some evil scientist tries to use regeneration energy for their own gain (it is as angsty as it sounds, yes), the tua fanfic where klaus refuses to let luther lock up viktor in that creepy basement in s1 (with added nb klaus and trans viktor because yes!), the sandman fanfic where dream loses the ability to speak after being locked up in a glass bowl for centuries (called 'cat got your tongue' because I Am Hilarious), and the ouat fanfic that's purely self-indulgent because i have a I Could Fix Her mentality when it comes to Regina (not just because of that but it's definitely part of it...)

4. mhhhh let's see!

There’s something going wrong in her mind, something is wrong with this whole regeneration, of course it is, forced regenerations aren't ever simple, but this is more than that, because she just let the Master leave with Yaz, with her TARDIS, and that’s not what the Doctor does, that’s not-

Is that still who she is? Is she still the Doctor now?

Yaz didn’t notice. The Master didn’t say anything, didn’t even gloat, didn’t even- And she’s not acting like the Doctor should, so what-?

She curls around herself, feeling unmoored when it’s different than before, the Master’s body – hers now – new and ill-fitting like putting on a glove that’s too small, or maybe it’s too big, or possibly both, somehow.

this is from my doctor who bodyswap fic, and i really liked this bit, because thirteen is questioning her own sense of self, after gallifrey, after techteun, after getting swapped into a body that isn't hers, and i just think that's a really neat concept to explore

actually, have some more of that fic, cause there are several lines i really like:

“Wait wait wait, can’t we talk about this?” she yelps, ducking behind machinery and twisting out of the way of more shots.

“The Cyberium is destroyed. You have destroyed the Cyberium. You will be deleted.”

They’re advancing on her, and she doesn’t have her sonic on her, it’s in her coat pocket, stupid Doctor, stupid Master, means she’s defenceless, means-

Except, she reaches into her pockets out of instinct, and there’s something in there.

“I don’t-” The words get stuck in her throat because they’re so untrue, doesn’t she want to do this, and it’s different now, this is a step she’s not been prepared to take, is she really going to do this?

“Stand down. You will be deleted.”

Yeah, right.

Them or her. Them or Earth.

The decision, in the end, is far too easy.

And then the Doctor stares at the tiny Cybermen, the Master’s TCE still raised, and something in her mind is spinning wildly out of reach, something has changed and she doesn’t quite know what it is, or if it can be reversed.

thirteen making master decisions instead of doctor decisions! love to see her make Bad choices

“I see you had time to change.”

The words spark memory, and the Doctor raises a brow at him, lifts her arms in a mockery of presenting the new clothes, and replies: “I always dress for the occasion.”

Is that amusement in his eyes or is she imagining it?

She lets her arms drop, crosses them over her chest again, considers him. It’s strange to stare at her own face and have it look back, except those eyes aren't hers, those eyes have always been his, she’d know them anywhere.

what's more 'master' than changing your outfit for the Drama of it?

yeah, I don't know where this story is going, but the second i've finished it i'll upload it! ^-^

EDIT: just found the Actual scene i wanted to share but got distracted from looking for, this is from my other dw fanfic where someone wants to take regeneration energy

All his attention is on the Doctor, beautifully bathed in gold, brimming with light and life, the force of a nuclear explosion coiling inside her, infecting her surroundings, leaking into the air and causing everything in her path to self-destruct.

i adore writing thirteen as incredibly destructive force of nature ^-^

that's all, carry on!

6. good question... I have a lot of fun writing the thirteenth doctor, but honestly? it's Klaus Hargreeves from the umbrella academy. i just can't seem to stop writing Klaus, especially nonbinary he/they Klaus who figures out their powers and chills with Benny while his siblings are ignoring the both of them. (this probably says Something about me but I Do Not See)

(honorable mention to my ouat self-insert which i Cannot write anymore because i started writing her before i figured out that i am not, in fact, cis, and now i'm having trouble identifying with the person that used to be me)

8. mhhh... in terms of Queer things yes, i read and write both of those things.

i do think i Write far more angst than i Read angst.

also, this question depends entirely on whether it's meant as reading books or reading fanfiction, because obviously i read the sort of fanfictions that i also write, and i guess yeah, i do also read the books that are sort of close to the sort of fanfiction vibes i like to read / write

13. yes i do! mostly just fanfictions, nothing 'original' just yet (i am working on it though!).

the ao3 link to my published fics is here, and there's also a German self-insert ouat fanfic on a German fanfic site, but uhhh that's sort of Very Unfinished and was started when i was still in school sooo... (i am planning on rewriting it at some point, and will try to finish it as well...).

as to the rest: there are... several projects that i've kept to myself, yes. i've taken my three (?) finished harry potter fics off the internet for now because i don't feel comfortable having them up with the way jk is behaving, and i won't post any of the ones i'm still writing on (i'm mostly just writing on them because if i have an idea i need it Out).

i also have A LOT of fanfics that are simply not finished yet, and because i know that i will not be able to stick to a posting/writing schedule i'd rather finish them before posting them, they'll stay on my laptop for now.

I am also working on a superhero book, but I've had to change a few of the original ideas i had because they don't really fit with the rest of the vibe of the book anymore, so i don't know when that's gonna be finished, if at all...

25. tough question... I have a lot of fun writing something with a twist, like, I as the writer am aware of a piece of information about the story/character I am writing that the reader is Not aware of but i am layering little hints into the story, and at some point i have a Reveal of the thing. i wasn't aware that this was something i did for a bit, until someone (you, dimitri, very specifically you) pointed it out in one of my fics and i realized that i Liked doing things like that actually, so yea!

also uhh i guess i really like how i can sort of work through some of my problems by projecting them onto characters? it helps sometimes...

i also enjoy writing something, and then having an idea, and suddenly the story is going in a wildly different direction as before, and i didn't anticipate it but i actually like this new direction, so i just roll with it. it's nice that writing is... alive, in a way.

wow, i wrote far more than i expected. thank you for asking these questions @rearranging-deck-chairs I had a lot of fun answering!

[deepestcollectivekitty]

How Often Should I See My Eye Doctor?

Signs You Might Need An Eye Exam

Other problems, such as age-related macular degeneration, where the central part of the back of the eye quits working and you lose vision straight in front of you, cataracts, which cloud your vision, and glaucoma, in which fluid develops inside the eye, can all be spotted by routine eye tests.

Sparrow says that age most noticeably influence on our eyes in between the ages of 40 and 60. This is when a number of us discover it harder to check out and start to suffer from eyestrain. Age lowers our ability to focus and, without help, our eyes feel exhausted and gritty and we get tension headaches.

Even if we wear glasses, it is essential to take care of our eyes if we utilize computer screens for prolonged amount of times. The image on a screen makes us change our focus more frequently and tires our eyes which likewise feel dry due to the fact that we forget to blink when we continue reading a screen.

The majority of us do not have eye tests every 2 years, but there is some proof that it is beneficial to do so. A standard based on an evidence evaluation by Canadian optometrists recommended two-yearly tests, increasing to yearly over the age of 65. Some people are eligible free of charge tests, but even if you have to pay, it is most likely to be worth it to prevent gritty eyes and headaches.

How Often Should I Have Eye Exams?

You understand you need to see your dental professional twice a year for a dental checkup and cleanings but how typically should you visit your eye doctor. Performing as your eyes into the world around you, actually, it is very important to make certain that your vision is constantly up to par and working appropriately.

It is recommended that you get an eye exam each to three years, depending on your age, danger aspects, and whether or not you presently wear restorative lenses like glasses or contacts. Your body is constantly changing and whether you like it or not, it is continuously aging.

In addition, if you wear glasses or contacts your prescription will alter every year approximately depending upon the strength of your eyes. And whenever your prescription changes, you require to enter to have your eyes taken a look at in order to get a brand-new prescription. You will become dust! No not actually, but if you don't get an eye test as frequently as recommended your prescription will likely go bad if you wear corrective lenses, or there's a possibility that your optometrist would have been able to catch an eye illness earlier on.

"Much of our clients with ocular conditions such as diabetic retinopathy, glaucoma, and macular degeneration must be analyzed more often than once each year," Dr. Plant states. African Americans and Hispanics have a higher danger of developing glaucoma and should think about an eye test every two to 4 years if they're under the age of 40.

How Often Should You Get Your Eyes Checked?

There are many indications to look for that suggest an eye test is needed "If vision is blurred or the eyes experience stress or frequent headaches, an eye test is needed. If the eyes are red, dry, scratchy, or flashes and floaters have developed, an eye examination requires to be performed," Dr. Plant said.

"A detailed eye examination consisting of dilation may take one to two hours depending upon the quantity of screening needed for the individual patient," Dr. Plant says. Having your eyes dilated can create some confusion about if it is safe to drive home following your thorough eye exam.

"The majority of people feel comfortable driving after a dilated eye examination. Some do not. If you have never had your eyes dilated, it is best to bring a driver". Pregnant females can experience fluid shifts in the cornea that result in blurred vision or concerns with their contact lenses.

How Often Do You Need Eye Exams?

"It is absolutely safe to have an eye examination during pregnancy," Dr. Plant states. "Many ladies experience vision changes during pregnancy due to hormone fluctuations and therefore require a thorough eye evaluation." Diabetic females need to receive an eye exam prior to they become pregnant and then once again throughout their very first trimester.

How often should you get an eye exam? Eye tests aren't simply for fixing vision issues.

[thementalhealthdisaster]

List of ways my life is fucked:

- Friend A has been having a medical problem that causes him to loose the ability to control his muscles since April, still untreated

- Friend A was in hospital since September (got out yesterday) and they gaslit him and didn't accommodate his Deafness and very likely have misdiagnosed him

- I lose my glasses

- I try to go on T and the doctor says I need a diagnosis and won't do informed consent. I find out later that he does... He just mustn't have believed me.

- Friend B had his boyfriend make him choose between him and his close friend. Causing them to break up.

- Said close friend self harmed in our home and triggered me so bad I started self harming at least once a week.

- Friend B's ex became increasingly abusive and same with his close friend

- Said ex, who was my friend too, starts belittling me and begins hanging out with a toxic ex friend who specifically hates me.

- We find out that we're going to be homeless in 26 days on my birthday.

- We had been househunting since March

- We become homeless in July

- Still homeless

- I get new glasses paid for but they're the wrong prescription and I don't go back to get them fixed

- I try to get an autism diagnosis and the doctor tells me he can't tell either way and don't even use the full time. $100 out of pocket I'll never get back.

- Friend B commits suicide in September

- He had attempted in the past and once I had to call the ambulance while I was suicidal

- Between him, his close friend badly self harming, and Friend A's condition, we get used to calling an ambulance

- I had several aborted suicide attempts and never had therapists treat them seriously.

-Last therapist misgendered me and told me I should try to get a job.

- At Friend B's funeral, his ex and the close friend he'd broken things off with got to speak

- So many people that hurt him were there and they deadnamed him at the funeral

- In September, I move into my old room at my parents with Friend C sleeping on the floor.

- My little sister has a friend who is suicidal in an abusive household and I have to tell them I can't help because thinking about it meant I was having a panic attack all day.

- Friend C and I try to organise moving states to be away from everything and closer to his family. But it takes months.

- My mum's brother goes missing and I learn he definitely has some sort of psychosis

- Which means I'm more genetically at risk than I thought (in terms of how this is still affecting me now that he's found)

- Being at my parent's becomes so unbearable I frequently struggle not to attempt or self harm

- And that's just this fucking year. That's just one fucking messed up year. And I was doing shit BEFORE all this. Fuck.

[rainykittenmusic]

How Often Do You Need An Eye Exam & Why?

How Often Should You Get Your Eyes Checked?

Other issues, such as age-related macular degeneration, where the main part of the back of the eye quits working and you lose vision straight in front of you, cataracts, which cloud your vision, and glaucoma, in which fluid develops inside the eye, can all be discovered by routine eye tests.

Sparrow states that age most significantly effects on our eyes in between the ages of 40 and 60. This is when many of us discover it harder to read and start to suffer from eyestrain. Age reduces our ability to focus and, without help, our eyes feel worn out and gritty and we get tension headaches.

Even if we use glasses, it is very important to look after our eyes if we use computer system screens for prolonged amount of times. The image on a screen makes us change our focus more frequently and tires our eyes which likewise feel dry because we forget to blink when we continue reading a screen.

The majority of us don't have eye tests every two years, but there is some proof that it is advantageous to do so. A standard based on an evidence evaluation by Canadian optometrists advised two-yearly tests, increasing to yearly over the age of 65. Some individuals are qualified free of charge tests, but even if you have to pay, it is most likely to be worth it to prevent gritty eyes and headaches.

When Should I Schedule My Next Eye Exam?

You know you must see your dentist two times a year for an oral checkup and cleanings however how often need to you visit your eye doctor. Acting as your eyes into the world around you, actually, it is very important to make certain that your vision is continuously up to par and functioning effectively.

It is suggested that you get an eye test each to 3 years, depending on your age, risk aspects, and whether or not you presently wear corrective lenses like glasses or contacts. Your body is constantly altering and whether you like it or not, it is constantly aging.

In addition, if you wear glasses or contacts your prescription will alter every year or two depending upon the strength of your eyes. And each time your prescription changes, you need to go in to have your eyes taken a look at in order to get a new prescription. You will become dust! No not really, but if you don't get an eye test as typically as recommended your prescription will likely spoil if you use restorative lenses, or there's a possibility that your optometrist would have been able to catch an eye disease previously on.

"Much of our clients with ocular conditions such as diabetic retinopathy, glaucoma, and macular degeneration needs to be taken a look at more regularly than once each year," Dr. Plant states. African Americans and Hispanics have a higher danger of developing glaucoma and needs to consider an eye examination every two to four years if they're under the age of 40.

How Often Should I See My Eye Doctor?

There are numerous signs to enjoy for that show an eye test is needed "If vision is fuzzy or the eyes experience stress or regular headaches, an eye test is essential. If the eyes are red, dry, scratchy, or flashes and floaters have actually established, an eye test requires to be performed," Dr. Plant said.

"A detailed eye exam consisting of dilation might take one to 2 hours depending upon the quantity of screening required for the individual patient," Dr. Plant says. Having your eyes dilated can develop some confusion about if it is safe to drive home following your detailed eye examination.

"Many people feel comfy driving after a dilated eye exam. However, some do not. If you have actually never had your eyes dilated, it is best to bring a motorist". Pregnant ladies can experience fluid shifts in the cornea that result in blurred vision or problems with their contact lenses.

How Often Should I Have An Eye Exam?

"It is absolutely safe to have an eye examination throughout pregnancy," Dr. Plant says. "Numerous females experience vision modifications during pregnancy due to hormone changes and therefore require a comprehensive eye examination." Diabetic females need to receive an eye test before they end up being pregnant and after that again during their very first trimester.

How frequently should you get an eye exam? Well, that depends upon things like your age, medical history and whether you currently wear prescription glasses or contact lenses. Eye exams aren't just for fixing vision issues. They can assist assess the total health of your eyes and comprehend how well they work now as well as potential concerns you might have in the future.

[ragingbookdragon]

Question do you write for readers with hearing loss? Because i am quickly losing my hearing at a young age and I'm in desperate need of a comfort fic.

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about that. I tried to make a good fic for you. I know losing your hearing is definitely scary, but know there are many options to help you keep living a fulfilling life, like learning sign language, implants, or vibration sensation/therapy. And also know that there are always people willing to help you. -Thorne

**********************************************************************

It wasn’t immediate, the act of loosing their hearing. It had been subtle, a growth. A tingle in their throat that seemed to be a cold that just wouldn’t go away, traveling up their sinuses and to their ears. The popping and lack of that started to suppress ability. Their family was worried, they knew that. Knew it in the worried looks during the doctor’s office or in the way their family watched them strain to hear even a normal speaking voice. All signs pointed for total loss, they knew that too. And they were scared—who wouldn’t be when something that’s been relied on for life suddenly disappears? What was this going to mean for their vigilante career? What was this going to mean for their life? For the rest of it?

***

They’d stopped going patrolling when the hearing loss reached fifty percent in both ears. Their father had explained it as best he could that without the hearing, they could possibly get hurt. It’d stung, more than they’d wanted to admit, but at the same time, they understood. Instead, they hung around the Batcave and helped Alfred when they could, fixing suits and weapons, doing things that they still believed made them useful.

Someone tapped their shoulder and they turned, seeing Dick smiling at them. “Hey kiddo.”

They could still read lips, but it’d taken hours of practice to do so; thankfully, their siblings spoke a bit slower and more pronounced for them to understand. “Hello,” they replied, unsure if they were being loud or soft.

“We’ve got something to show you,” he said. “Or dad does.”

They let Dick lead them over to where Bruce was standing with Tim, the two talking back and forth, a headset between them that looked awfully familiar to their mask. Bruce looked up as they came over. “Hey sweetheart.” He held the device out to them. “I want you to put this on.”

It was going to cover their eyes, the main way they could still ‘hear’. “I won’t be able to see you?” they murmured, a bit hurt and he merely shook his head.

“It’s okay. Trust me.”

With furrowed brows and doubt, they took the mask and slipped it on over their head. “What now?” they asked when all they could see was their family.

Suddenly the mask vibrated, and a blue marker ticked in the corner of their mask with the warning, Multiple persons detected behind. They recoiled, spinning around to see Dick and Damian standing there.

“What…what is this?” they asked.

Someone took the mask off, or at least pushed it up so they could see; Bruce held up their gauntlet from their suit. “We’ve spent the last few months integrating an echo-locating AI into your suit.” He tapped the mask. “The AI is new, but so far it’s primary designation is to be your ears.”

They blinked, pushing the mask down again. “Hello?”

The bright blue words illuminated in the corner. Hello Mx. Wayne. I am Echo-locating Intelligent Operational Transformer. Or as your family has dubbed me, “ELIOT”.

They blinked. “Eliot.”

Yes Mx. Wayne. How can I assist you?

Their eyes found their father’s. “How is this supposed to help me?”

“Eliot will watch and listen to things that you can’t see and hear and will relay it to you in your mask.”

They blinked. “So…I can still be a vigilante even if I’m deaf?”

Correct. Eliot sent. I will be your eyes and ears when you are in the field.

“But what about when I’m not in the field. What about when I’m here? Or out as a civilian?”

Mr. Wayne has thought of that solution too.

Bruce pulled up the mask and handed them an inconspicuous pair of black framed glasses with clear lenses. “Here. Put these on.”

They did, mouth forming an ‘oh’ as the world turned a cool tone.

Hello again, Mx. Wayne. I will be here to assist you when you are a civilian. As of now, your siblings are standing behind you.

They looked back and sure enough, all their brothers and sisters were there. Tears flooded their vision and they sniffed, looking down at their feet. “I didn’t know you were doing this for me.”

Bruce took their chin, lifting their head. “I know it’s been hard this past year losing your hearing and I know you’ve been scared and feeling broken. But let me tell you that you’re not.” He smiled. “You’re working so hard to learn ASL and bolster your sight and other senses.”

He held up the mask then nodded to the glasses. “Eliot is going to help out, but never forget that it’s you who’s gotten this far, sweetheart.”

Teary eyed, they threw themselves at their father, squeezing him tightly, and before their siblings even joined in the hug, Eliot said, Your siblings are converging to include themselves in this share of human affection.

[thatjayjustice]

Your Life Has Value Beyond Measure: Disability and Poverty In the United States

This is a story about why it’s so important to get medical help, even if you can’t afford it. It is so hard to break the habit of ignoring our own pain because poverty won’t let us get help. Because we have to.

The number one killer in the US isn’t heart disease. It’s capitalism.

I have been permanently disabled and chronically ill since I was a child. I live with severe chronic pain and debilitating damage in my entire body. I am also on SSDI, which means that I am not allowed to earn more than $15k a year or I lose my disability insurance. This makes medical care unaffordable.

The combination of extreme, constant pain & the knowledge that healthcare is unattainable, leads to not getting help until it is too late. It is a trap that has taken countless lives. People who deserved to live but were told that healthcare was only for the privileged. Not us.

Because I couldn’t afford treatment, I didn’t try after the first huge medical bill. I ignored headaches, vision & hearing loss, & periodic paralysis. I crowdfunded a wheelchair. I tried my best to survive. And then I fell in love with someone who forced me to get an eye exam.

I moved in with my girlfriend. She immediately noticed how massive the fonts on my pc are & asked if I had ever considered glasses. I hadn’t, because that involved going to the doctor and that was for rich people. She would not take no for an answer. So off to the doctor I went.

The first doctor I saw was alarmed at the amount of nerve damage in my eyes and referred me to a colleague. The second doctor I saw was very alarmed at the massive amount of swelling in my eyes and brain, as well as nerve damage & asked how quickly I could get to a top neuro-ophthalmologist he knew.

I knew this would be expensive, but I was now being told that there was a very high risk for stroke, blindness, and/or death, so away we went. We were at the hospital for over 24 consecutive hours. My eyes were dilated twice because the dilation wore off before they could finish all the tests. So many tests.

The neurology team discovered that I had over 4x the amount of pressure on my brain that a person is supposed to have, & they did their best to relieve it. The cause is still unknown. I have been prescribed medication to treat the condition, but the optic nerve damage is permanent. My eyesight will not improve.

The doctors say that if I had not gotten treatment when I did, I could have died. Without ongoing treatment, I am still at risk of dying. I have to be extremely diligent with my new medication to prevent this. Medicare refused to cover it so I had to pay out of pocket. 1 month of the generic version of the prescribed medicine costs $260. That is over 1/3 of my SSDI check.

I have several more medical follow-up apps & neurological procedures and all of this is mandatory for my survival but costs more money than I am legally allowed to earn. The US Government’s mandate to permanently tie disability status to income limits is killing disabled people.

Millions of people are living with the uncertainty of inadequate healthcare coupled with inescapable mandated poverty. Medical care shouldn’t be a privilege. It should be free. Instead, it’s denied to those who need it most & gatekept behind a paywall thousands of dollars high.

All of this is why I avoided treatment for over 20 years until it was clear that I had no choice. Regardless of your ability to pay, you deserve to live. Poverty is not a moral failing. Your life has value beyond measure. If you are in pain, please get help before it’s too late. Medium article for this post: https://jayjustice.medium.com/your-life-has-value-beyond If this post helped you and/or you'd like to support my work: jayjustice.net gofundme.com/justice-on-wheels http://www.patreon.com/ThatJayJustice http://www.ko-fi.com/thatjayjustice https://www.venmo.com/ThatJayJustice https://cash.me/$ThatJayJustice

[ghostbustermelanieking]

i'd like to hear some headcanons for your "georgie can see dead people" au! :0

oh thank you so much!! this is probably going to be a little messy, since i haven't actually started the fic, but!! here is something!! :) (also i am so sorry for all the sixth sense references. the actual fic will undoubtedly be worse.)

1. So the basic premise of this AU is that the end result of Georgie's encounter with the End is that, instead of losing her ability to feel fear, she gains the ability to see the dead. Everything goes the same otherwise: the protest, Alex, the dead woman, Georgie waking up days later at home, the months of strangeness and unfeeling. The difference is that when Georgie wakes up, she can see the dead woman, too. Never too close—only in corners, behind doors, in the window. And never always, but only in the moments that feel crucial. The moments where she's searching for something of herself. Her mother hugs her and she sees the dead woman over her mother's shoulder. 

Georgie sees Alex, too, sometimes. Closer and more head on; she is always looking back. But she never speaks, and neither does the dead woman from the room. It isn't until she begins to see other ghosts that she realizes they can talk, if they want to. If they choose. 

(Six months later is when Georgie figures out how to lock the dead woman out. She stops seeing Alex shortly after, except on occasion. Sometimes she'll see a flash of those familiar eyes in the mirror, over her shoulder, and they always seem to be apologetic. But Alex still never says anything. Georgie gets good at pretending that this doesn't hurt nearly as much as losing her.)

2. Jon is the first one that Georgie almost tells. Almost. They're honest with each other in a way that Georgie usually isn't, when they first meet, and she almost thinks he'd believe her. They talk about ghost stories all the time. 

She mostly thinks about it when she sees Jon's ghosts. It isn't often but she sees them. He'll talk about what little he remembers of his parents, or pull out some old, faded pictures, and she'll see the faces reflected in the kitchen, the bathroom mirror, Jon's bedroom. He never talks about the apparition of a strange teenager that appears, once, when they both wake up sweaty from frantic nightmares and he refuses to explain, and Georgie doesn't press. He doesn't tell her about Mr. Spider and she doesn't tell him about the ghosts. Much as they love each other, they do still have secrets. 

Georgie goes to his grandmother's funeral years later, even though they're barely talking at this point, and almost tells him then. Seeing him stand mostly alone at the grave, looking monumentally alone, and then a flicker of his grandmother behind him—she almost does. But still she doesn't. She's never told anyone before, and she and Jon aren't really in touch, so she just hugs him and tells him she's so sorry, and doesn't meet the eyes of the woman watching behind the fresh grave. 

3. Melanie is another person Georgie almost tells. They still meet through their connections—Ghost Hunt UK, What the Ghost, and Georgie's power is (probably unsurprisingly) very useful for the paranormal podcast business. (All her episodes aren't pulled from real life, from her own experiences—that would be irresponsible, and there's more clout in retelling familiar stories. But sometimes when Georgie runs out of episode ideas, she'll visit a spooky place, write down what she sees, do a deep dive on the history, and fill in the gaps by attributing her sightings to "unnamed" witnesses.) She's met a lot of people in the ghost hunting business, but Melanie stands out, because they hit it off so immediately. Start hanging out outside of work drinks, at parties or pubs or research stints. Melanie starts inviting Georgie to consult on the show, or to collaborate, and Georgie uses what she sees to point Melanie and her team towards real sightings. Why not? Might as well have the horrible power be useful for something. Haley Joel Osment solved his problem by helping people, and this isn't the same at all (and that's a movie, anyways), but it is something. 

So she and Melanie become fast friends, faster than Georgie is used to, and Georgie genuinely thinks about telling her. She trusts her, and she doesn't think Melanie would laugh, or call her a liar. (Melanie's got stories about not being believed, too; it's common in the paranormal business.) She thinks Melanie might be the right person, maybe. Just maybe. 

(She doesn't end up doing it. She's still a coward when it comes to that. But it isn't because she isn't tempted.)

(The idea to tell Melanie comes before she starts seeing Melanie's father. But that fact doesn't help her decision, either. In quiet moments with Melanie, Georgie starts seeing the man in Melanie's framed photos in the shadows, looking at Melanie with sad eyes, calling her little moth. But Melanie can still barely talk about her dad, and the accident, and it feels even more wrong after he starts showing up, to tell her. Georgie worries Melanie might think she's making fun, or making something up to make her feel better, and she doesn't see this going well.

Instead she says, sometimes, I know your dad loved you a lot. Melanie says, Yeah, I know, too. Georgie says, And I bet he misses you, even though it isn't a bet; she knows. But she can't tell Melanie, and that's as far as it can go.) 

4. The most significant time Georgie wants to tell Melanie, but doesn't, is the one she'll end up regretting the most in the end. When Melanie gets out of the hospital, first, and then when she comes back from India; when Georgie is basically the only friend Melanie has left from her old life, and therefore is probably the person Melanie goes to the most. The person Melanie confides in. 

So Georgie is there to see it all. She'll be sitting across from Melanie in a pub, or beside her on the couch; she'll brush Melanie's hand with hers, or their knees will knock together, and Georgie will see flashes of blood, violence. Hear screaming. She'll see haunted faces out of the corner of her eyes: soldiers, doctors. Muzzles of guns. Once, a stained hand gripping Melanie around the leg. 

She'll regret it, later, but Georgie doesn't say anything; she doesn't know what to say. She's never seen anything like this, even with over a decade of seeing ghosts. How is she supposed to explain it? She doesn't really know what it means. Melanie talks about war ghosts, and Georgie listens, and she rationalizes that Melanie will have to be okay. (She was okay, when it was her, and if—if this is something serious, something worse, than… then Georgie will be there. Melanie will have someone who understands.) 

5. One night in February of 2018, Jon shows up back in Georgie's life, looking shell-shocked on her doorstep. He stands in the hall looking mildly terrified, when Georgie opens the door, and behind him stands a dead woman, looking desperate and furious all at once. 

"Georgie," Jon says weakly. "I-I know it's been a while, but…" 

"Jon! Christ, what happened to you? Are you all right?" Georgie says, trying to take in Jon and the dead woman all at once. (She is new—Jon must have had someone else close to him die.) She focuses on Jon, puts a hand on his shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

"I… I'm fine." Jon's hands twist in front of him. "I… didn't know where else to go."

Georgie swallows hard and says, "Are you in trouble?" The dead woman is looking right at her. Georgie keeps looking at Jon. 

"I… yes." Jon chews on his lower lip. "If… I know it's a lot to ask, b-but I… could I… possibly stay here for a little while?"

Georgie swallows hard. She has a dozen questions—what's happened, why he needs somewhere to stay, why he looks like this—he looks like he's been through emotional turmoil, through hell—and worse, why a dead woman has followed him here. But she doesn't know how to ask these questions. And she can't just turn him away. Jon helped her heal during one of the worst periods of her life, even if he doesn't know it. And she can do the same. 

"Yeah," Georgie says, and leans forward to pull Jon into a hug—tentative at first, and then stronger, when Jon latches on like he needs it. "Y-yeah, Jon, of course."

Jon rambles out a frantic thank you, layered in with apologies and copious promises to pay rent, but it becomes harder to listen. Right over Jon's shoulder, the dead woman is staring right at her, her mouth hanging open. She's got long hair and glasses, and she looks exhausted, and it isn't immediately obvious how she has died, which is unusual. And she's looking right at Georgie. She says, suddenly, "Can you—can you see me?"

It isn't the first time a ghost has spoken to her, but it's a rare enough occasion to be shocking. Her throat is thick with surprise, and she can't say anything in front of Jon, so she just sort of imperceptibly nods. Holds the dead woman's gaze for a moment. 

"Fuck," says the dead woman. "Thank—thank god, thank Christ, I…" She pauses and looks at Jon, then back at Georgie, still numbly hugging Jon there in the hall. "My name is Sasha," she says, and Georgie thinks of the scene in The Sixth Sense where the sick little girl under the blanket asks for help. "Can you… can you help me?"

(send me an au and i'll give you 5+ headcanons)

[mercy-burning]

Losing You Twice / Prologue: Silence

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: On New Year’s Day, Y/N attempts a new chapter of her life but finds it may be harder than she thought... Category: Angst Content Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, implied masturbation (female) Word Count: 1,343

SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

NOTE: AHHHH the prologue is finally out!! I’m so excited to start sharing this story with you guys, I adore this album with my whole heart and I just knew I had to use it as inspiration for a fic. I hope you all enjoy reading it!!

***

“I know that I should let go, should be letting you go. Can’t postpone it, not anymore, when I know what I already know: What I need is silence. All I need is time and space and silence. Cut communication ‘cause I’m trying to learn that I can lose you and survive it.” —FLETCHER, Silence

JANUARY 1st

Even though the snow outside was falling rather heavily, Y/N left the window open, a bitter chill drafting through her bedroom and settling into every nook and cranny, which included the closet where she was currently sitting on the floor, a glass of wine in hand and pictures laid neatly across the wood.

As her eyes grazed over every scrap of paper, mostly polaroid photos and little hand-written notes he'd left her over the years, the constant ticking of the clock back in her bedroom wouldn't stop.

Realistically it was probably the wine, enhancing her ability to focus on nothing else except the most menial, annoying little things. But she was thoroughly (and maybe a little drunkenly) convinced it was actually Time itself, taunting her— every constant click of the clock screaming at her as if to say, "You! Fucked! Up! He! Hates! You! Now! You're! Pathetic!"

The happy memories scattered about in front of her certainly didn't help. His face kept staring back at her, each lovesick gaze spewing even harsher words than the clock. Just by seeing his face glinting back at her under the harsh white light of the closet, all she could hear in her head above the noise was that one single sentence that's haunted her since Christmas.

"You don't actually give a shit about me, Y/N, you only ever care about yourself, and it's been that way ever since I met you!"

No matter how greatly she professed to him that that wasn't true, he walked out on her all the same, not giving her a chance to explain further. Though, he always took the time to listen to her, so his words coupled with the slamming of the door landed her with the impression that maybe she'd only said it in her head.

After all, she was half drunk on tequila at the time, the other half of her mind swimming with sadness and regret.

Maybe she hadn't fought for him to stay like she thought... Or maybe at this point he was simply done trying to make it work, done with hearing her half-assed promises to get better at communicating, and done with her...

It bothered her immensely that she didn't know.

And when he wouldn't even pick up the phone to answer when she wanted to ask, when she texted him and each one went promptly ignored, she felt like the answer was finally clear.

Now it was New Year's Day, just about ten minutes past midnight after Y/N opened the window, poured herself a glass of wine, and started sorting through everything in the closet. She'd went in with the intention of starting anew, like practically everyone did during the New Year. Though the longer she sat there, sipping the wine and staring back at pictures and notes that only reminded her of the one good thing she'd ever known and inadvertently thrown away, the experience was less cleansing and more daunting.

Everything was loud.

The click of the clock, and the howling of the wind outside as it blew snowflakes around in a near-blizzard, and the constant screaming of every word she wished she'd said before he left...

It was all too much.

So Y/N downed the rest of her wine, threw all the pictures and notes back in their box, and shoved it deep in the back where the memories couldn't hurt her anymore, at least in theory.

But as she crawled into bed, the clock now sitting in the kitchen with no batteries, she was reminded that there was one form of memory that she couldn't shove in a closet and hide away.

She drifted off, the sharp chill from the winter wind still lingering on her skin even after the window had been shut and she'd bundled herself up under the covers.

Even in dreams, it transported her to the night before Christmas, when she walked with him across town, looking at all the lights and finding themselves underneath a large tree. He took her gloved hand and placed it firmly on his chest as she looked up at him, snowflakes sticking to her eyelashes. She admired how pretty he was surrounded by white snow and colorful lights, his cheeks and nose painted a soft pink from the cold.

"I love you, Y/N," he said with every intention of hearing her say it back.

But for some reason, she didn't. Instead, she leaned up and kissed him, hard, nearly knocking him to the ground. And even though she was happy and warm, it was the first time she thought she'd ever felt him not kiss her back with the same fervor.

That should have been her first clue that things were going to decline, but she was so caught up in the feel of his lips against hers, no matter how distant they were, that she couldn't really bring herself to care. After all, it was Christmas Eve, and nothing bad could ever happen to their relationship during the happiest time of the year...

But this was a dream, and now Y/N knew better. She stood there, watching the scene unfold in front of her, screaming for herself to say it back, to yell, "I love you too, Spencer!"

But again, this was a dream— No matter how loudly Y/N yelled at her former self, nothing would change what happened in the past.

She woke up the next morning, cold and alone, and surrounded in silence. Not even the soft clicking of the clock was there to keep her company.

But that's what she wanted in the first place, and if she was ever going to get through this—to move on with her life without him at her side—then she was going to have to get used to it.

And so her phone sat nicely on her bedside table as she grabbed a random selection of clothes and headed to the shower. Maybe the water would wash away some more of the major remnants of his being from her body. Maybe she finally wouldn't be able to feel the ghost of his hands roaming her skin and tangling in her hair...

It worked for almost the whole day, and then she laid back in bed that night, her hand dipped beneath her underwear and eyes closed tightly. She hadn't meant for him to creep into her mind, but it made sense that it would have happened eventually— When your relationship with someone was built almost solely on sex, it seemed inevitable.

No one else had made her feel the way he did... He took such care and precision with her body, drew out every possible second of pleasure until she was out of her mind, and in turn she showered him with praise and loud shouts of his name. Spencer... Spencer!

"Spencer!"

She opened her eyes, hand retreating from her body as quickly as possible as she tried to blink away his image. Her breathing steadied, though a long, exhausted sigh fell from her lips almost as easily as his name.

It obviously wasn't going to be easy, but damn it if she didn't want to give up already and find him the way she always did after a fight.

This wasn't just a fight, though. And as she laid in bed, her thumb hovering over his name in her phone, something stirred in her chest that signaled a bad idea. Not that bad ideas ever stopped her before... But now?

It didn't feel right.

Nothing about any of this felt right. And she didn't know what to do about it other than shutting the phone off and tossing it to the side, snapping her eyes shut and huffing like a child while she tried not to cry.

Plain and simple, heartbreak was brutal. Especially when you were the one to blame.

And that sentiment was the sharp twist of the knife in Y/N's gut, plaguing her as she willed herself to fall asleep.

“It’s like a crutch, see if you’re up. 4am but I like a rush, so I’ll go into your bed, my safety net. Cheaper than a therapy vent, yeah, I know...”

***

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[kyloswarstars]

ROOMMATES • Part 2

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2k

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

The donut shop had air conditioning. It was pure heaven. A donut shop was heaven to you 365 days a year anyways. The AC, though… yes.

Christina chewed on her third blue glazed donut and refused to answer your questions. First, she refused. Then, she tried to talk her way out of it. In the end, she mentioned the friendship code, which applied in this case to Eric, and therefore she couldn’t say anything.

The confusion was real. You didn’t understand anything when most of the time you always understood everything. Following things you knew:

A) Eric always entangled you in debates. Sometimes it was a civil exchange, most of the times he got your blood boiling until you were close to lose your temper. This happened in class and other college surroundings, where you talked about a study related topic.

B) Until last week you always thought it was because of his ego and pure strive to demonstrate his intellect why he went for, at some point, the silliest of statements you had ever heard.

C) You also thought he did it just to piss you off.

D) Then last week happened. Then this afternoon happened and left you entirely confused.

E) Christina must know another reason why Eric constantly sought for an academic dispute. His statement from a couple hours ago, that there was ‚no reason‘, was highly suspicious. But Chris also didn’t tell you the reason.

F) That only led you to one, logical guess on what that unsaid reason could be.

„Is this about him having a long planned strategy to become the number one student of our year?“ Him seeing you as a serious competition to that title was the only reason you could think of. It wasn’t too odd of an assumption since after all those debates, silly statements or not, he was one of the smartest guys you had met so far.

Chris swallowed a bit of her new donut. Donut number four. „He isn’t in our year.“

You had sipped on your milkshake and instantly looked up. „What do you mean?“ Having to ask that question again frustrated you.

„That he’s way past us. He just finished his third year of medical school.“

„Excuse me?“ You got up from your seat and started wandering around the empty donut shop. „I’m surprised my body hasn’t taken the form of a question mark yet,“ you slowly talked yourself into a frenzy. „Christina, you’re telling me that Eric, who keeps pissing me off in two of my classes, for the last two years, isn’t even in my year? That he’s studying to become a doctor?“ Please behold me from chopping off a finger or something and him helping me.

She looked a little guilty for not giving you more information. Also a little amused.

„I am studying to become a damn mathematician. Why on earth would a medical student attend those classes?“

Christina had the audacity to laugh out loud. „I’m sorry, Y/N.“ Karma came around instantly and made her choke on a piece of donut for a few seconds. You hurried over to harshly pat her back until she coughed it out. „All I know is,“ she was still gasping for air, „he sometimes takes random classes for fun. Or for one of his big assignments.“

That was all. You wouldn’t get any further information. She crossed her arms and ignored all of your remaining questions. At least she left the donut shop with a stomachache and you knowing that Eric wasn’t even a math student.

/////

Once a week all roommates had at least one dinner together. ‚To strengthen the community‘ Uriah mumbled to you while you helped him turn the groceries, he and Chris had bought today, into a prober dish. Rice with a lot of veggies was the meal for tonight.

You were the last one to sit down and were surprised, and a little nervous, to find Eric sitting in the spot across from yours. He must’ve come home while you were still concentrating on not letting the veggies burn to death.

Christina hardly ate anything after her five donuts. Being a reasonable adult, you only had one donut at the shop.

„Who chose to put mushrooms in there?“ Eric didn’t look too glad when his fork discovered a tiny mushroom.

„Me,“ you stated, not afraid to have another silly debate. This time probably about how mushrooms shouldn’t be harvested because it takes away a food supply for deers.

„Next time just roast it short. Don’t turn it into these rubber–“

„Shut up, Eric.“ Four intervened. „Be glad someone made dinner.“

Exactly. You smiled at Four for his backup and continued eating. Even though you highly concentrated on the bowl in front of you, your eyes occasionally moved to Eric, to see if he had found another thing he disliked about the meal. And every single time his eyes met with yours.

This dinner wasn’t like all the previous ones you had here since moving in. It was unusually quiet. Everyone headed pretty fast into their rooms after finishing up and collectively cleaning the dishes.

Eric lingered around and was actually the last one to help you with putting back the plates and cutlery to where they belonged. You leaned to the countertop and tried not to stare too obviously when he stretched to place some glasses on the top shelf. He wore a t-shirt where he must’ve cut off the sleeves and the way his arm muscles moved, with every glass he put on that shelf, should be forbidden.

What? Oh man. That you caught yourself thinking that way, even though Eric didn’t notice it because he was still occupied with the dishes, made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. You hid your hands in your pockets to act casual. That’s when you noticed one of the many papers that were spread in nearly every clothing pocket and backpack of yours.

One of the many habits – coping mechanisms, actually – you had, was to write down unsolved problems in mathematics and brood over them whenever your brain was close to panic itself into a breakdown. To sit down and concentrate on a problem and search for a possibility to solve it, was what got you to study the most hated subject in the first place.

You pulled the paper out and checked what it referred to. The Riemann zeta function.

You tried to recall if any of the many debates with Eric ever had been about mathematics. They had never been about math at all you realised. The classes he had gone to were the social orientated ones. Those, where you discussed scenarios and ways on how to solve problems with a mathematical solution. Or at least help out along the way. And the debates were mostly about the logical or philosophic aspects. The reason why it had always been so easy for Eric to pull you into those discussions was because you didn’t study mathematics just for the sake of it. You didn’t want to become only a professor to teach others about it. You wanted to help people with all the abilities math provided. For example the study you worked on right now: a mathematical model to predict the success of immunotherapy for patients with cancer.

This is perfect.

There was no way Eric could enter a serious debate about the zeta function and not show that he studied something completely different. With a grin on your lips you cleared your throat to get his attention. Eric crossed his arms as he turned to you.

The game is on.

„Since you know everything better than me, and us living under the same roof now, I was wondering if you would take a look at some equations. I’m kinda stuck.“

Something in his face changed but he still said: „Sure.“

That’s a mistake, my friend. You handed him the paper, which he had to unfold his arms for again to take it. Those arms were bigger than the pile of books next to your mattress. Why did you never notice his muscles before? And why did you never notice that sharp jawline?

The concentration on his face didn’t give away that he had absolutely no clue what was on that paper. Time did. A minute or two went by without him looking up or saying a word. „That seems like a serious problem. I’m passing.“

„What are you studying again?“ Your voice as innocent as you could manage it to be.

„Why would you ask?“ He played it off. The crooked smile on his lips let you know he had a feeling for where this conversation would go, though.

„Because someone studying mathematics, like I do, would recognise the famous zeta function whose solution would earn you a reward of one million dollars.“

„I never said I study mathematics, Y/N.“ Eric grinned like you were the fool here. Like you had overseen something big. Like your little trap hadn’t worked.

„But you attend four full semesters of classes that aren’t necessary? Are you having such a big problem with me that you just can’t stay away?“ His stupid grin made it worse. That rage came rushing in because those ludicrous disputes sometimes had you thinking you were a complete idiot. „I mean no normal person would take those two extra classes for four solid semesters on top of damn medical classes. What’s wrong with you?“

„I like the extra knowledge.“ He simply stated, snapped a bottle of water from the countertop and slowly made his way down the hallway to his room. „And debating with you.“

/////

For your own wellbeing, and not to flip every time you thought about Eric being the biggest prick on this earth, you decided he was just a little sadist. Who had probably his only fun by infuriating you. You were glad to know about that hobby of his now and could focus on the more important things in life until next semester.

He just didn’t make it easy at all. Living under the same roof had diverted the debates from class to the dining table. Plus it had added a lot of other intentional disturbance on his part.

For a while you tried to just ignore it because he was a sadist, as you declared. On the other hand he exactly got what he had aimed at. Your anger.

„Eric,“ you shouted at the wall, knowing very well that he could hear you because you heard perfectly fine what kind of little movie he was watching. It paused for a few seconds and you breathed out in relief. Then it started again. So you raised your voice another time. „Use damn headphones!“

The only thing that happened was Uriah peeking his head in your room, with some incredibly high raised eyebrows. „Are you okay?“

„I am not.“ You buried your face in your hands. „Eric is watching porn and I can’t concentrate,“ you stated in despair.

„I’ll handle it,“ he smiled and was fast to knock at Eric’s door and enter his room after a ‚come in‘. They discussed for a while and Uriah gave you a thumbs up as he passed your room on his way back to the kitchen. Problem solved? Sounded like it. No noise from the other side of the room anymore.

The newest data had come in for the study this morning and you didn’t get anywhere yet. You just hadn’t been able to because of… picturing Eric watching porn. Ban it from your consciousness. With another deep breath, you started working in the newest data and focus only on your task. And it worked for a couple of minutes. Until Eric decided not to use headphones anymore and his porn noises echoed through the wall again.

I will strangle him in his sleep one night.

/////

A/N • I'm enjoying this way too much so there will soon be another update. probably next weekend. ok bye

Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld

Wanna get tagged too for future updates? Lemme know 🖤

[we-dragons]

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 9 Damian x reader

"What is this place, why is it shaped like a T?" We stand on an island with this enormous building smack in the center of it the sunset shade casting a large shadow over us, I can't get over how ridiculous it looks. Or contemplate my confusion, Nightmare makes an unimpressed huff and nuzzles back into my shoulder.

"Titan's tower."

"why would this be a good place to hide? It's the most obvious building here, I ran with you for several days I'm beginning to think I would be safer under my floorboards." He walks up to the doors and pulls out a card holding it in front of the circular panel. It beeps and a clicking noise comes from the door.

"Believe me this would be a better place for you." I sigh a form of any and all anxiety pools in my body, but I still meet him at the now unlocked door.

"Alright fine but you need to explain to me why here of all places."

"When we get inside." The doors swing open, the area behind it lights up leading to what I assume is an elevator. I'm pulled inside not giving me a chance to look around. "Hey!" He doesn't answer but pulls us into the elevator, I don't see him push a button but we almost immediately move up. It's fast but not as fast as the one I had to go down for training at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Though the feeling is familiar and I start missing my classmates all over again. I rub the wrist that Damian was holding to dragging me here. Nightmare growls at the space moving him and interrupting his nap. The space stops and the door opens to an open space that looks like a large living room. a white angled couch a large kitchenette and an impossibly large TV by open glass windows. The room has several people all staring at us, my anxiety hits me tenfold and I take a step back. A hand is at my shoulder the moment I do and pushes slowly while moving itself. The doors close signaling that I'm truly stuck here, a woman with Neon pink hair and bronze skin zooms up to us.

"It's so good to see you, and I see you brought a friend. Richard has been looking all over for you."

"I know that's why you can't tell him we're here." I'm pushed forward. "She's a mutant possessing the X-Gene, my father wants to interrogate her for the information, she needs to stay here till a better solution becomes present. Can she stay here?"

"Well of course she can stay-"

"What?!" Nightmare jumps from my arms and hisses. I walk backward, taking in this new information. "How did, you find out when-when." Fear creeps how long had he known how much trouble was or might be in. But he didn't mention this. but then again why would he. How does he know about the X-Gene though, from the research I did there were none here with it. The closest there was were Metahumans but even they didn't have anything close. My back hits the wall and I return to the world Nightmare growls standing guard in front of me. Everyone who was in the room now stood in front of me, a boy that was green from head to toe, another girl in a purple cloak and unitard, and another boy with something attached to his back. The pink-haired woman steps forward, but Nightmare swats at her yowling as a warning to keep away. She raises her hands in surrender but looks at me.

"There is no need to be afraid, I knew people like you, Jean Grey, Cyclops. they came here by accident once a few friends and I helped them get back. It would have been 7 years ago now." Damian steps forward Ignoring Nightmare, guilt is painted slightly on his face he tries to coax me from the wall. "I'm sorry I knew since the time you showed me, I checked my recorder after that visit and played it back home in front of everyone. I was to find out more from you and report back after we scanned those samples that healed me. When we were ready I was supposed to bring you back with me for interrogation with confirmation of your mother's research." Something snaps inside me and I glare at him.

"So all that was for those stupid journals. Wow, for how long were you faking nice. No, don't tell me it'll just feel worse. " I put a hand on my face willing the emotions of confusion to stop. A crackling noise makes its self known in front of me followed by screams.

"Holy Crap that thing has tentacles coming from its face!"

"Ahh!"

I gasp at the sight Nightmare had gone full flerken and is attempting to drag Damian in. I lunge at Nightmare dragging him across the floor. He lets go of Damian but he hasn't changed back to cat form. "Nightmare No! Calm down I'm fine I swear it! Stop!" The black fuzzball retracts his tentacles and hisses at the crowd.

"I'm sorry, he gets like that when he sees me upset sometimes. Not sure if you have them here but he's half flerken, they look like cats but they're quite deadly." I set Nightmare down and he crawls behind my legs once again hissing particularly at the green boy how has gotten closer, he turns into a green cat making Nightmare run in the process. Damian limps forward his leg is bleeding through his suit. I would let that heal naturally if only wounds inflicted by Nightmares in the flerken form never heal normally on their own.

"Y/N these are the Titans, the one mimicking your," he waves his hand in the air as if to find the world. "flerken is Garfield." He points to Nightmare being chased my the green cat attempting to lose him. The bronze woman glides forward stomping a foot from me the others followed behind.

"Hello my name is Starfire you can call me Kori, this here is Raven," She points to the purple girl then moves her other hands to the boy. "and this is Jaime. We are pleased to have you here Y/N." She grabs my hand pulling me away from the middle of the room where I had landed. "Now let's get you settled in I'll talk to Damian for a bit after." Nightmare notices my leaving and jumps onto my right sholder hissing at the green-skinned boy.

_____________________________________________________________

I honestly don't know how to feel, to be honest, I should have guessed it so it's my fault. I could have left him and then this wouldn't have happened, but then he would have died in my apartment. Could have been more hostile, but then he definitely would have gone with the kidnapping strategy and I would be already in the hand of batman. Now I'm in the known world of their superheroes, the superheroes know about the Crows and they know about the X-gene. That information can go from good to bad in minutes. Though Kori did know about Jean and Scott, though it was years ago they have traveled through many universes with a small team. I would have been about 10 when this happened and my mother didn't take me there for classes till I was 12. In their lectures, they didn't mention anything like this they did bring in Doctor Strange to teach those of us who could understand how to perform magic. I Now I'm sitting on an insanely comfortable bed knees curled up to my chest just reminiscing. I have been told to use my abilities only when necessary as not to attract any unwanted attention. But what did I do, I screw up my chances of living normally till Doc Strange can pull me back only to find I'm not in my home where I should be. Everything was going so smoothly till now.

The door opens behind me and by the almost silent footfalls, I can tell it's Damian. Nightmare has jumped into my arms forcing me to let go off my legs and watch as the boy drags a chair to face me.

"I suppose you want the whole story now," I said barely looking at him.

"I wasn't going to talk about that yet."

"What did you think you would find in the journals that my mother wrote?"

"An answer on how to stop the Crows."

"You most likely will."

"Than what's in them."

I sigh looking him dead in the eye, pulling myself together for this.

"My mother didn't only study history, in my dimension, she studied all sorts of fields one day she was asked to study something and was gone for almost six months. We hardly heard from her but just enough to know she was alive so naturally when she came back she swore me into secrecy. She explained that she had gone to another world entirely, she studies with them and when she came back more time had passed than when she was there. One journal explaining how she got the and how to get in and another explaining what she found, and the rules for everything she experienced there. She learned things no human should know and kept it from the people she worked for and everyone else. She-she found Avalon, lived among the fey in return for her curiosity and genuine interest they helped her make a guide and history of all fairy and Fae both the pure and the equally disturbed." I reach in my bag and pull out the books from missing from the very research my mother so loved. One being ordinary leather-bound and the other two bear a glowing purple gem on both sides of a very purple dark Tome thick and pooling with some sort of energy as the gem. I give him a serious look gripping both books. "She left it to me but I haven't read them yet, I...I couldn't bring myself to. It might be better used in your hands anyway. Though I shouldn't I still trust you for some reason, so under the conditions that you only use what you find for the better of those in need you may find your information. The journals, however, will stay within my sight understood." He nods, I start to give the leather books to him he stops me.

"I don't want to see them before you," He takes the books from my hands and places them back in the bag. "If you are convinced that I should still read them, then I will convince where ever you wish to study them." He sits on the bed next to me staring out the window. "What I want to talk about is how we get Father not to view you as a threat and as a friend. I went over it with Starfire and we both agree this is the best option." He pauses before he continues. "We're you a hero in your world?"

"You want me to do hero's work and gain a positive reputation so that he's more willing to work with me than slowly forcing out of me."

"Yes."

"How do you know about the X-gene?"

"It was in our database from when Jean Grey and Cyclops had visited. They helped take down an invasion of the skrul and took them back with them to their own dimension. Father took some DNA samples to work with and ask about their abilities. There are entire folders on the subject alone." He pauses again running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Not for that, for everything else."

"Yes that is very much on you but it's also on me. But if I had left you with Crow poison in your blood you would either turn into an undead flesh puppet in my room or die. That would not have gone down well for either of us. I was also mostly upset you broke my window and wanted compensation," I see him visibly tense and clench his teeth. "and didn't even bother to say thank you."

"I Fixed your awful goddammed window isn't that thanks enough." He glares at me.

"Was it? After all, you did spy on me and report it to the Dark Knight." I fall back onto the bed. "There's no getting out of this now might as well get used to it."

"You shouldn't be this comfortable with what's happening, I wouldn't"

"Then why are you smiling ya weirdo, It's almost creepy."

"Tsk, just hand me your computer so I can pull up Star Trek, I would like to finish and begin the movies." I hand him my laptop and he walks over to the wall in front of the bed.

"Um, you know we watch on that computer you making a get away with."

"Yes but the enormous 4k TV is here." He pushes a button I didn't even see before and as promised a TV appears. He smirks at what I assume is my expression. He opens my computer and within minutes Star Trek is cast on the TV. "Please hold your applause till after the show."

"Did you just make a joke? Are you joking now?"

"Aren't I allowed to have a sense of humor?" I Look at Nightmare who has the same thought in his head and I look back at Damian.

"Nope, Nada, No way."

"You know, you're the only one who has talked to me that way and lived."

"I should consider myself lucky then huh."My gaze falls to his leg, It's poorly bandaged so I pull my scales and Med-kit from my bag. " But before I forget I need to treat your leg before your tissue becomes necrotic. You can watch while I work, but you need to swallow one more of the "glittered plastic"."

_____________________________________________________________

"How do you make them?"

"The scales?" I pause stoping the wrap on the angry-looking tentacle mark on his skin.

"What do you think I was talking about?" I smile evilly.

"I thought you were talking about my jokes and wonderful sense of humor." I tie off the bandage and put away my first aid kit. "But If you must know it has to rain first, and I have to be in it. The acidity in the rain is was caused the scales to form but there has to be enough of it. In Gotham, the rain has plenty of it, It soaks into my skin and drains my health which is why I was sick for so long. In return for taking my health, the scales form with healing agents that even baffle me. Normally I would take one and feel fine after but someone decided to take them."

"Do you pull them off?"

"Takes too long and much too painful, I just pour scalding hot water on myself and they pull away from the skin. I clean them and there you have it. Health restoring scales." He stares at me, like I said I pour milk before cereal and then pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds in that order.

"Aren't there better ways to remove them?"

"Yes, but those are back at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters I couldn't pack it with me so I had to find other methods."

He silent again so I put my stuff in the closet, take my Suit out from the bag, and place it on the hanger, the vibranium fibers shimmer in the soft lights then I stuff the rest of my things in there. I have to tell Professor Xavier what's happened on the check update next week with any luck the multi-functional com-piece found the data by now and I can see what they already know. I inwardly sigh, closing the closet and making my way back to the bed. I see Damian drawn into the scene playing on the screen, Data has made his sacrifice saving the Enterprise. I wasn't expecting to last the cleaning to last that long, but then again the poisons from the suction cups dug deeper than I thought. I put some more things away in drawers even though I didn't have much to bring. "We probably should head to bed, I imagine I have to do a proper introduction and demonstrate some form of my power."

"Yes, probably." He gets up grabbing the two scales I gave him for when he starts feeling pain again. Moving swiftly to the door, he takes one more look back then leaves. My eyes fall on Nightmare who sleeps soundly on the end of the bed. I Climb into the warm comforter letting the warmth surround me. I don't even notice myself drifting till all I can hear is static signaling that tonight was going to be a dreamless one.

_____________________________________________________________

"What exactly can you do?" Starfire walks me down to the center of a metallic room filled with weapons and tools, no doubt the training room. I look around more absorbing the room but still answer the question.

"If I see something I can almost instantly learn it or adapt to it, powers, fighting styles, languages I just have to see or hear it. I've had to control it in order not to learn everything and overload happened one time was not pretty."

"What do you mean by almost instantly?"

"Things like shape-shifting are hard to master, but if I concentrate enough I can alter my physical appearance though it takes five minutes to get there and can't hold the form very well after an hour. The first time I saw someone change form my body tried to copy it but I broke my hand instead. But oddly enough I can learn most other powers and knowledge just fine."

"Really? Well just to check could you copy this?" Starfire lifts her hand and green energy forms around it. I lift my hand to match hers and form the same energy in my body, though not green It's a lilac purple. "Sorry still have trouble getting the colors right." The woman stares in awe at my hand, the knowledge of how to use the ability is stored in my memory. I turn my hand light off and look around. She had given me the tour of the building and probably saved this for last to test what I can do. They did the same at XSFGY and had us fight in the ever-changing challenge/training room. I hear the door open and two cheery voices call out.

"Hey Y/N, about to train?" Garfield, the boy in green calls out from the railing where the door is accompanied by Jamie how still looks half asleep.

"I was just about to test her now, could you all stay there, I'm going to pull the full immersion-based training." She floats to a podium on the far side of the room. the area around me pixelated before stilling into a jungle heat and all. Monsters appear from the undergrowth enough level but not easy looking. I raise two fingers to the sky and strike lightning on them Increasing the voltage when one didn't go down, I even open a few portals in the body to warp holes from the flesh. It took about a few minutes to finish and for the simulation to fall. The dark misty cloud vanishes when I flick my wrist. I hear cheering from the side, I turn to face them everyone was now there.

"No way! Did you just see that!!" Jamie is now wide awake sharing an amazing look with Garfield, Raven is a little shocked, while Damian holds a stoic face. I feel a hand on my shoulder and follow it up to the orange-haired woman. I don't catch that she isn't stopping and is dragging me out of the room. With the way her hand had angled, I dragged out facing the other people in the room. She moves so fast that they get so small to quickly "You did excellently today, I'm so happy to welcome you to the team! We shall celebrate with a feast fit for kings and I shall cook it."

"Wait!"

"Kori!"

"Aw hell no!"

"YOU COOKED THE OTHER DAY!"

They all start running after us, shouting and trying to stop the woman. I feel refreshed after getting the OK for using my powers finally releasing some of the tension I've felt. I feel exhausted though, probably anticipating all the social interactions yet to come.

[victorianoruben]

{Untitled yet}

Ruvik X F!Reader

Chapter 1

Warning: none, I guess?

Written by: me and @another-bryk-in-the-wall

(thanks to my best friend for beta-reading it!)

Sometimes the hours are blurring together on nightshifts. Sometimes they are extremely stressful. Emergencies where there are only two people on a shift.

Other times you have 6 hours of complete rest and boredom.

That day it was the latter.

You haven't been working here for long and already find this hospital to be “different from others".

Many employees were emotionally cold and absolutely not interested in anyone, while just some liked to make jokes with you and treated you like a normal person. Also, the whole atmosphere here seemed very private. There weren’t too many patients who were going out of their way to socialize or make friends inside of the hospital. Hell, most didn’t even leave their rooms.

You sat bored in the lounge with your mobile phone in hand until you suddenly heard footsteps. They reverberated eerily in the long hallway and you turned to face that direction, startled. It was rare that anyone was wandering the halls this late at night. You saw a man in a tight red uniform aiming to walk past you, not even acknowledging your presence.

Only when you took a closer look at him, did you notice his burn scars. They were covering half of his face. When he noticed that you were looking at him from head to toe you decided to greet him, instead of just awkwardly staring at him. A relatively meek "Good evening, Sir" came out of you. You felt very overwhelmed by his dominant presence, which intimidated you a bit. That feeling only worsened when you let your eyes wander to the top of his head... Was that his brain surrounded by glass? No, that couldn't be. You were surely imagining things. But, what if you weren’t. Oh god damn it, what had he been through?

He emanated a unique self-confidence unlike anything you had ever seen in anyone with facial scarring. Usually patients like that were unsure and shy, afraid of being judged over something they had no control over. Human beings could be downright nasty to anyone with a scarred face. Something about facial scars disgusted people and the victims could clearly feel the contempt of others and as a result, they tended to lose all confidence.

This man, however, seemed to practically ooze confidence, which you respected and you caught yourself of being fascinated by or more like interested in his presence. You felt how your heartbeat rose from 0 to 100 when you both made eye contact, though you tried all your best to keep yourself collected and professionally polite. But that didn't work that easily.

"Good evening.", the man replied, his face completely blank and his voice monotone. He was just looking at you without a friendly gesture, without a smile. The man was simply studying your appearance as well. One of the many abilities he gained over the years was that he could read people like an open book, left open for him to peak in. Someone had longer fingernails on their right hand and short on the left? Guitar player who doesn't want to destroy the neck of said guitar. Some dog owners always carried treats with them, even if the dog wasn’t coming along. All those little clues told him enough about a person before they even spoke their first sentence.

But you. He couldn't read you yet, and this peaked his interest.

You hadn't been here for a long time, because he knew all the long-term workers and their darkest secrets.

"Are you busy right now?", the man pointedly looked at the phone in your hand, currently playing a silly cat video. Truth be told, he enjoyed that kind of content, but would he ad this? Never. Absolutely never. He would rather get the other side of his brain exposed than to admit that he liked cat videos.

"I need some help with my studies. Care to join me?", that was a big lie but he was curious -

Who were you and why did you peak his interest more than the average nurse in here? He'd find out soon enough.

Only now did you wonder what he was even doing here during these late hours. He didn’t look like a doctor. Was he a lab assistant? He certainly looked like some sort of scientist.

Pressing your lips in a thin line with a weak smile you put my phone in your pocket and nodded, slightly mortified that he had caught you watching cat videos of all things. It surely didn’t look professional.

"No, I'm not really busy. I’m just having a long boring night- I mean, not that I’m complaining... I wouldn't wish for emergencies either. So, yeah… I’d be glad to help you," You fumbled a little over your words, still slightly unsettled by his presence.

You’d do nearly anything to escape the boredom of a quiet nightshift, though. And you weren’t really worried about him being some kind of serial killer. Sure, your colleagues were weird, but they weren’t really the kind of people to chop you to pieces and bury you in the closest forest. Weird didn’t equal serial killer. Besides, you were curious about the man.

You were walking next to each other in silence that was quickly going growing awkward. Nervously you were fumbling with your hands in your smock overall, thinking of starting any conversation just to get out of this uncomfortable silence.

"I've never seen you before. I'm still pretty new here. Do you work here as a laboratory or doctor assistant? Also, with many nightshifts? Is that really that common in this mental hospital? " You had narrowed your eyes questioningly when you looked up to him. By reading his facial expressions it didn't seem like he liked to answer you. His forehead was wrinkling in silent contemplation, which made you suspicious. It was unusual to have an assistant running around here so late at night.

Maybe you weren’t so far of with the serial killer suspicions. You actually contemplated hightailing out of there.

'Quick, think of an answer. She is just a pretty and naive nurse'

But even a little slip up could cost his head. He could tell by her tensing posture that she was seconds away from fleeing the scene.

‘That could end badly’

"I mostly work nights," he tried to keep his answers short and to the point. Laying on a confidence in his answer that he didn’t actually feel. He made sure to look her in the eye shortly and casually avert his gaze back to the hallway. If he didn’t look her in the eyes at all he would look like a liar and if he stared at her too much he’d look like one too. It was a delicate balance, that he had mastered over the years "That is because the nights are quieter and I can focus on the patients better this way."

You took a glance at him, still wondering about what his actual job was. His answer was too vague for your taste. But the curiosity was still grown inside of you.

You had decided to work in a mental hospital because the human psyche had always been kind of a mystery to you. Mental illnesses were both fascinating and tragic in your eyes. The mind was even more delicate than the body, in your eyes. It was so easy to break and healing it was a true challenge. It was your goal to help people with mental illnesses like depressions, dissociative disorders and PTDS.

So, you really wanted to know what this scientist - or whatever - was working on.

You both arrived at the door to his office. You signed an NDA before, but who knew what could happened once you opened mouth. He didn't trust anyone in this damn hospital.

"Do not be surprised by the sight in front of you once I open this door. All I am asking you is to check the vitals of the patients in the bathtubs. I want to make sure they are doing well but I am not entirely sure how to do that.", he lied through his teeth, ready to push you into one of the bathtubs once the chance was there.

Or could you be useful to him in the near future?

When you entered his so-called office after his warning you had expected anything - but that!

Never in your life had you seen a machine this far developed... It looked like something directly taken out of a science-fiction movie. The construction filled the whole room. There were wires everywhere, all connecting to a weird sphere in the middle of the room. Completely gob-smacked by the strange… whatever that was you took a while to take notice of the bathtubs. When you did, though you froze up immediately. There were people - no patients - in lying in the bathtubs, connected to the cables, which were attached to the back of their necks.

Like a statue you stood there for at least 20 seconds. Staring at one patient, you slowly went to him just to check his state. Curious to see if he was aware of his surroundings or if he was unconscious – maybe asleep . What was this system?

Could that reach possibilities to help several people out of mental illnesses or was this just a machine designed from a psychopath just for his own use?

And why would he need help from just a nurse like you?

You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Looking at this huge thing… I highly doubt that you don’t know how to check vital signs ", you shook your head and crossed your arms, taking several steps back, out of his direct reach. No way would you let him put you into one of these tubs!

You really wanted to run away and never go to the hospital again.

"So, tell me. What do you really want from me? Do you expect me to go into one of the bathtubs? Gotta tell you, that’s not gonna happen. I mean... not to sound judgmental. Because technically this could be something to help our patients. But I gotta tell you, this,“ You gestured towards the patient that was laying in the tub right in front of you, “looks quite suspicious and not very save. I hope the patients volunteered for this, because if they didn’t I have to report this. Don’t get me wrong, you seem to be quite intelligent and this looks interesting, but I cannot allow something like this to continue without - "

"- You are annoying. All I want you is to check the vitals of the patients and you are throwing a whole speech at me.", he shot back, not amused with your behavior.

"I am a scientist, not one of your doctors. What I am doing here could change the world forever. It is a system which helps people with heavy trauma to forge new memories and get rid of the trauma. Do you understand me?", the scientist continued to spit out. There was a look of passion in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before. They had looked quite dull and emotionless up to this point. It was clear to you that he truly cared about that project of his.

What you weren’t aware of was that the man had a plan. He'd snow you . Make you feel comfortable. And then, he'd put you in the bathtub too. The next one on his list would be Tatjana from the reception area. And then it was your turn.

What even was your name? He chanced a quick glance of your name tag, just enough to read "(Y/N)" on it.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). This is a top-secret project. If I find out you talked about it outside of this room, I will make sure you suffer great consequences. And trust me, I have my eyes and ears everywhere. Now go and check on the rest of these people before I get angry. Then, you may leave."

Author's Note:

I'm still unsure if I keep making this as a slow-burn whole Fanfiction or just cut the whole thing I'm planing into single parts like One-Shots

[lightanddarklove]

SU - Connie's character development

I've been noticing in the SU tags that people have been pointing out that Connie should have or must have had therapy or some sort of counseling prior to future, and I agree. I've heard that others think she got limited development on screen from the later half of SU and basically all of Future, a point that is fair post Jungle Moon, but to me, it would make sense for her not to lean on Steven as much as she does before Sworn to the Sword, as she slowly gains confidence from being Steven's friend.

I'm only focusing on a few specific episodes here in an attempt at brevity (it’s definitely longer than I wanted). At some point I may reblog and add more, but I'd like to get this out there before the one year anniversary of the SU: Future finale.

At the beginning of the series, she is fairly introverted, shy but inquisitive and sensible. She doesn't show any interest in the people of Beach City until Steven protects her from the falling rocks near the temple and inadvertently traps her with his bubble. She asks questions about the townies, and writes the text of what they need on the bubble when they try to get help from Onion. When Steven's rollercoaster plan goes awry to free them, and they are knocked into the water, she is clearly very anxious. Once the chasm opens up beneath the water and they are further trapped, we see her standing up for herself for the first time, something that continues to increase in frequency over the course of the series. Upon the defeat of the corrupted Orange Spodumene, she is amazed by Steven's quick thinking that saved them.

We see her again in Lion 2, when they have an adventure on Lion that precedes their intended movie outing. Upon arriving outside the theatre, after the harrowing experience with the Robot Shooty Thing in Rose's Armory, she is discouraged, leading to Steven's frustration with messing up their original plans. Connie counters with her feeling that Steven shouldn't be involved with her, as she feels her life less interesting than his, and that her enjoyment of Dogcopter is nothing compared to the magical destiny Steven is encountering. This lack of self-confidence comes back several times until late in the series. After Steven points out that he very much enjoys Dogcopter, the Robot Shooty Thing returns, causing the duo to fight it using the sword pulled from Lion's mane. Working together, they conquer their foe using Connie's tennis moves, cheering both of them up.

In an Indirect Kiss, she clearly shows concern for Steven's glum mood, but is willing to push him a little in order to get him to open up about what's bothering him. We also see what would have likely been a romantic moment if the healing spit from their shared drink hadn't caused a sudden headache from her prescription no longer matching what she needed. After Steven excitedly goes to tell the gems about his newly discovered ability, we see Connie form some resolve in popping out the lenses of her glasses at the close of the episode.

I spent some time analyzing Alone Together for both perspectives on Kevin for my SU: Future fic, The Best Mother and Doctor I can be, but the development of Steven and Connie builds from them discussing dancing and fusion on the beach. After Steven covering his eyes at first to help Connie get more confident, the pair get into a rhythm, and eventually running circles around each other. This causes Steven to trip and Connie to unintentionally dip him in keeping him from falling. Connie's blush shows she reads the situation as romantic, but Steven smiles, seeing nothing wrong with her holding him up. In a moment of connection, they both start giggling and Stevonnie is formed for the first time. A bond is forged, their mutual consent to continue being fused through most of the rest of the episode. Once they start dancing at the rave they realize the attention on them is making them very uncomfortable, causing panic and hallucinating. Once they break through the panic attack, they stand up to Kevin when he invades their space and refuse to let him dictate how they spend time together. As these earlier episodes progress, we see both of them learning to be more confident when by each other's side.

The Return does lead into Full Disclosure, from Steven leaving a message on her answering machine thinking it my be his last chance to say goodbye. After Steven separates from his Dad in The Return, he has no human contact until Connie's call cuts into the scene in the wreckage of Homeworld's ship in Jailbreak, asking if he's ok before leading into the celebration of the Gems at the beginning of Full Disclosure. Steven's a bit astonished on the face of everything that happened in the past evening, and when his dad's van pulls up, he promises to call her back and cuts the call short. Once he sees his Dad's reaction to his harrowing ordeal, he is further hesitant to answer Connie's calls, for fear of worrying her. After a brief talk with Ronaldo, advising him that his story is one he must bear alone for normal people can't understand the burden of truth. After mulling it over and feeling she is better off without him, he declines her call. After this, Connie continues to call, but she makes her way to Beach City and is soon at his doorstep, as he tries to explain to the gems that he wants to cut ties with the humans in his life, Connie included. Pearl buys him a bit of time as he sneaks past them, and Connie tells her she's very worried. Once Connie goes to leave, she spots him fleeing, and calls out to him multiple times, questioning why he won't face her. After Steven tries to break off their friendship via text, Connie calls him, confused. Once he replies seriously, she calls out him choosing to do this through the phone, and demands he "say it to [her] face," refusing to accept losing him as her only friend if he can't do that. This builds from Indirect Kiss, where she isn't willing to let him hide his feelings or what happened that made him feel badly. Once he leaps from behind the wreckage, we see his resolve to keep her away has broken, tears streaming down his face. After she shows concern for his visible injury, and he claims wanting to protect her, she shuts that down and asks for him to tell her everything. After he explains, she makes it clear that being a part of his life is important to him, and the episode ends with Greg driving them back to the Maheswaran home.

In Sworn to the Sword we see the culmination of her bravery and resolve to this point. After Steven and Connie try to enjoy their Jam Bud snack, they're accosted by a small flock of seagulls, and Connie fends them off with her violin bow. Upon seeing this, he volunteers Connie to apprentice sword fighting with Pearl, and although both of them are surprised by this proposal, he praises Connie, and she talks of how she wants to be there for him for the dangers the future to fight beside him. Swelling with pride, Pearl agrees, and their training begins. After showing them the Sky Arena, Pearls delves into the training and hardships of battle in her past. Pearl's tutoring Connie seems to focus on breaking down her independence, and Connie's prior confidence shifts to disregard her well-being, as Garnet said Pearl had done during the war. As Connie had issues with self-esteem prior, it isn't long before she's repeating mantras of "I don't matter," to Steven's horror. This training isn't taking place over a day or two, it seems over the course of at least several weeks. Once he's determined to keep her from risking herself without a thought, he interrupts a training exercise where Connie faces stealth striking Holo-Pearls through cloud cover. He dismisses the idea that she needs to face these threats alone, and asks to fight beside her instead, which they are able to work together seamlessly. Once Pearl catches wind of the pair in the arena, she scolds Steven, declaring Connie needs to face her alone and he shouldn't be there, knocking the weapons from the duo's hands. Steven refuses to accept that he shouldn't be a part of the fight, declaring again his will to fight with her, dismissing the thought that "[he's] too important." After Pearl snaps back with a shout calling Steven Rose, she stumbles over her words and attempts to dismiss the duo. They approach her and Steven admits the reason he felt the need to tell Pearl how he felt about the training was the "you're nothing talk," which worried him. Connie posits if Pearl felt that way because of Rose's actions, but Pearl laughs it off, telling her she felt the opposite. Once she declares that their bond will only make them stronger, if they train hard together, and comes up with a new regimen as the episode fades out.   After the training Connie has received for several months Connie is asked to take part in her first mission with Pearl and Steven, which the Maheswaran family allows on the condition they take lots of pictures. Pearl guides them to a snowy area in the Great North as they seek out a corrupted Gem together. Upon facing one down, another appears, then splitting off in two directions and Pearl thinks about turning back before the duo convince her they can handle it. She agrees if they call her once they've found the corruption, as she worries about them fighting it alone. Steven and Connie track it, taking  break to warm up in a hollow tree as snow continues to fall. Steven posits possibly healing it as there are humanoid tracks in the snow along with the corruption tracks, and thinking the Gem may not be too far gone to save. Once they track it further, it has appeared to corner itself against a rock wall. Pearl checks in with the pair via walkie-talkie, which draws the Gem's attention to them. Steven tries to talk to it, but it has no significant affect. It attacks, and once it pops the bubble around the duo, they are separated. It moves to strike Steven, but Connie tries to draw it's attention with snowballs. Once it bears down on her, she freezes up and says she "wasn't prepared for this." Upon hearing Pearl speak through the walkie-talkie, her resolve returns and se snatches it from beneath the Gem, calling her for help. Jasper crashes into the corrupted Gem, shocking Connie and Steven. He regroups with her, protecting them both with a bubble as Jasper pummels the corruption, and poofs it without much struggle.  Pearl appears to help as Jasper shows off the gems she has captured, and Pearl is shocked. Jasper disappears into the snow and Pearl is relieved that the kids are ok, saying she wouldn’t have had them on this mission if she knew Jasper would be here. Connie is disappointed, feeling that she failed because she didn’t strike when she had the opportunity to fight the corrupted Gem. Pearl assures her that she followed the instructions of calling once they encountered the Gem, as she was instructed. Connie seems relieved by Pearl’s praise in the end, as they consider Jasper’s appearance as the episode closes.

After Jasper is freed in Super Watermelon Island, she poses a significant threat to the Crystal Gems, and now that they’ve encountered her in the prior episode, Pearl and Garnet set off to track her down. Amethyst watches over Steven and Connie and tries to distract them around Beach City, to keep their minds off Jasper. As the duo is playing in the water with Amethyst overseeing them, Jasper looms out of the water with a corrupted gem. As Amethyst faces off against Jasper, Connie and Steven fuse, and Stevonnie fights the corrupted gem while riding Lion. Amethyst is quickly dispatched and the fusion faces off against Jasper, defeating the corruption and saving Amethyst. Jasper gets away, but Stevonnie revels in their victory, despite Amethyst’s discouraged demeanor. When Steven and Connie unfuse, they are cheerful and Connie seems to have a confidence boost, which shows her competence that holds up through most of the rest of the series.

In Mindful Education, we see one of the last distinct shake-ups to Connie’s character up until Doug Out, which mostly just forms a stronger bond with her Dad. Steven and Connie are fusion training with Pearl and Garnet, and during their battle with Holo-Pearls, a distracting memory shakes Stevonnie so much they unfuse. Steven goes to comfort her as she runs out of the Sky Arena, and convinces her to talk about it to try and help. Upon hearing that she feels badly for accidentally hurting someone at her school, Garnet approaches them, suggesting a training option that may be help. The pair of fusions meet on the beach and are guided through meditation on how to work through their feelings about Connie’s most recent hard memory. In it, we see Connie bump into a boy at school and react suddenly by flipping him over her shoulder from his arm as a defensive reaction. Mortified, she flees and the memory ends. With breathing exercises, she is able to let the memory go, and we cut to another day where they attempt to train again. Once again, memories distract Stevonnie, but this time the thoughts come from Steven’s perspective. They reminding him of recent his battles with Bismuth, Eyeball Ruby and Jasper, causing the fusion to be overcome with tears and backs up to the edge of the Sky Arena, falling without warning. After they tumble over the edge, they unfuse and Steven is still overcome with emotions. Connie reaches out to him and tries to assure him that despite how badly he’s feeling to have to tackle these memories, he can’t run from them for good unless he faces them. Eventually, as they fall, they fuse again, and the memories pass, helping calm them enough so they can slow their decent.