#im saying his queerness or lack of is Not The Focus

[aemiron-main]

“eddie’s pocket hanky/bandana is queercoding about hanky code” “NO!! eddie’s pocket hanky was something use to tell people that you’re a metallica fan and is based on james hetfield’s pocket bandana”

it’s both. the answer is both. it’s specifically meant to be both on purpose and it’s done in a way where its both rather than just one (ie choosing a hanky pocket side and colour that aligns both w some of the hanky code stuff AND with james hetfield’s pocket bandana) because of eddie’s secondhand queercoding and how eddie’s queercoding is always tied to things that have double meaning/isn’t direct (unlike much of the queercoding around mike and will) because the queercoding itself is literally being filtered through another layer (the other layer w the hanky being the james hetfield hanky reasoning) bc the queercoding is less about eddie himself being queer and more a.) the way that hellfire operates as an allegory for queerness rather than being a direct ‘gay club/gsa’ just like how eddie has that extra layer when it comes to his queercoding, just like the hellfire does and b.) it’s more about mike’s gay crush on eddie than eddie himself actually being queer. 

[potahun]

im watching blood of youth and have made it to ep 6 so far, and it is starting to grow on me after episode 5. however, since i've seen a few comparisons between the two which have led to my watching it, i would not say it has a similar vibe to mysterious lotus casebook, so i would not recommend watching one because you like the other and hope to find something similar.

to clarify, the vibe i get so far from BoY is very similar to a shounen . it has the young teenage protagonists on a grand mission, the companions coming to each other's aid, it has the fighting spirit, the leveling up (even the training sequences with hype music!) Possibly, it is also more of a traditional wuxia (but experts pls weigh in on this) because there is a much greater focus on fighting and overcoming adversities in a martial arts context. i understand there is a great political intrigue coming up at the end, so maybe things will change. for now, i see a lot about martial arts with impressive visuals, youths choosing their paths regardless of the previous generations' choices (a theme i like!) and about growth and breaking out of the shell in general

mysterious lotus casebook leans strongly towards murder-mystery and intrigues. it also deals a lot less with the passion of youth as a theme. the protagonists are older (li lianhua and di feisheng should be in their early thirties, fang duobing is likely around 20, but it's not specified). the mood varies wildly, but it's sometimes a soft ghibli and sometimes an eerie ghost story... it deals with accepting the fragility of human life, haunting/escaping the narrative, closure, death and rebirth, being queer (yeah, i'm saying this), mirror sides of human bonds and their sometimes coincidental, brittle but precious nature... despite impressive fight sequences, leveling up in martial arts really falls to the far background. much of the heart of the story is li xiangyi being given a chance to make his goodbyes to the jiang hu, but also living again as li lianhua.

also, a point that seems minor, but can lead to very different feels: the visuals of both shows are different. mysterious lotus casebook is soft colors and low contrast. it's crisp fights, but barely any magical attacks and few effects. it makes up for the lack of special effects with agile and artistic camera work, and smart use of speed, as well as elegance in the choreography. blood of youth uses more highly saturated colors. the visuals are aimed at impressing. the cgi is very decent, and can lead to a pleasant image on their own, but sharp moves are also used. i think if you come out of BoY and head into MLC expecting the same level of visual shock, you might come out thinking MLC has less impressive fights. or on the contrary, if you are not into cgi at all, you might head into BoY and think it's overkill.

not saying that you can't enjoy both! i adore MLC to death, but i enjoy a good shounen and i am starting to enjoy BoY. so far, i feel like they've told very well what they set out to tell, but i would not pit the two against each other in an objective manner. they feel like apples and pears to me, despite some jokes feeling similar (xiao se being a miser, li lianhua being an iron rooster, wu xin's bad cooking, li lianhua's bad cooking etc) the atmosphere of the two shows have extremely different vibes to me. MLC feels like blossoms falling softly on grass and waterfalls, BoY (so far) feels like setting off firecrackers and a storm on the rise. they are love letters to different aspects of the jiang hu. if you want to tackle both, please don't expect the same thing out of the two

[orionsangel86]

Welp. Okay I watched the last episode of ofmd.

To sum up my thoughts on this season I will say that whilst I enjoyed it and felt the love and passion and respect for its queer fanbase throughout, it didnt hit me the same way the first season did. It felt like maybe a little bit of that season 1 magic was missing and for that I very much blame Max's cutting off 2 episodes and slashing the budget. They had a lot of story they wanted to tell that would have worked so much better in 10 episodes.

I consider the last 3 episodes of season 1 some of the best TV I have seen in my life. From the use of The Chain in ep 8, through the dramatic highs and lows of eps 9 and 10 it was edge-of-your-seat drama and I was in awe at the creators that put it together. But one of the reasons why those 3 eps were so good is because the drama and the pivotal moments were given time to breath.

If those 3 eps were given the same lack of time and budget as season 2, no doubt they all would have been crammed into 1 episode and it would not have had the same impact.

If anything that last episode should have played out across two, with Izzy's death being the half way point and cliffhanger ending leading to a final battle and somewhat happy resolution.

I'm not mad at Izzy's death. If anyone was gonna die, it was gonna be him. His status as Blackbeards enabler and sometimes mentor is over. For Ed to truly be free, I think Izzy always had to go. From a storytelling perspective it makes perfect sense, even though I am sure a lot of fans are absolutely heartbroken about it.

Another casualty of the reduced screentime meant certain original cast members weren't given anywhere near the amount of screentime they should have had. I was expecting a lot more focus on Jim as they were basically the third lead of s1 due to them getting the same backstory as Ed and Stede. All of the crew appear to have had drastically reduced parts which does feel like a big loss to me.

Its funny actually, OFMD S2 suffered from the opposite problem to GOS2. OFMD had too much story to tell in a limited timeframe, GOS2 had very little story to tell outside of the flashbacks and probably too much time given to it. Both shows season 2s suffered from tremendously bad pacing issues.

Also, the one thing the final episode made so obvious to me, is the uncertainty of getting a s3 renewal. It is so clear in the way they tried to wrap things up in a happy bow as best they could, so that if they do get cancelled it leaves fans at least somewhat satisfied. I hate this though. I hate that studios are so fickle and ruthless that creators have to gamble with good quality writing and avoid cliffhangers because of asshole executives who dont actually care about the stories.

Because of the fast pacing, and the fear of cancellation, it felt more like a rush happy ending instead of a part way point in a bigger story, with important character development still to come. Perhaps I need more time to absorb the story in a full rewatch, but im not exactly itching for more at this point, whilst also not really being satisfied with what I got either. I wish we had left Ed and Stede in at least some minor peril, like have them captured and threatened with hanging but at least in a good place romantically, so that we can start speculating about what kind of escape plan they will come up with in season 3. Leaving them in a dilapidated old inn somewhere just felt wrong to me. Instead of ending the season with the stakes sky high (like season 1) it feels like they left season 2 with zero stakes at all, instead of at least a happy medium. At this point we should be turning to fanfiction and wondering what happens next, but instead I'm left thinking "okay then. That was good. What can I watch next?" I don't need to bury myself in fanfic and fanart to feed the hyperfixation this time around, and that is where I feel the most loss.

I'm sure others will have hugely different reactions to me though. Perhaps my expectations were too high? Perhaps my GO obsession just isn't leaving room for OFMD this time? But then again, I think if GOS2 hadn't ended the way it did, I wouldn't still be so obsessed with that either.

Sigh. I dunno. It was a good fun show and will no doubt still be hugely popular with devoted fans, but for me I just can't say it cast the same spell over me as it did last year.

[jules-writes-stories]

Im enjoying JEL but have been feeling isolated from Azris as a Mor fan lately. Every fic lately has her being OOC. A villain, cruel, psycho to the point that she's hated. Writers can do what they want, of course, it just sucks bc I like her but I also like azris. Am I the only one?

I guess im wondering if Mor will having some kind of arc? no spoilers, I know . just wonder what you plan for her. you always give your characters a lot of love, even how you treated mithras was with kindness. Just curious. thanks for reading. really enjoy the story too.

Hi anon,

First of all, I hate that you’re feeling isolated, especially from Azris. To me, this ship is about being low key and inclusive. That said, your feelings are so valid, and I see where you’re coming from. I’ve given this a lot of thought:

I think some of the “Mor vs Eris” dynamic can be overcome by excepting that two hard truths can coexist. Mor is a victim who was used by a power hungry and cruel father and so was Eris. They don’t have to be pitted against each other in that situation. They were terrified, abused kids who acted out of terror and a lack of agency.

I can’t speak to other writers’ stories— but I think OOC can be subjective? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read someone else’s interpretation of a scene in a trad pub book and been like, wait? Did we read the same thing? I think we bring so much personal stuff to a character that they become more of a spectrum and less of a fixed quantity? So two readers could experience the same character, but focus on opposing aspects of said character/value certain traits over others. And while they seem contradictory, both are true.

Example: Mor: She was a freedom fighter who liberated human slaves in the first war on Hybern. She rescued Feyre when she was trapped in Spring. She’s so loyal to those she loves. And she kicked ass in Adriata. She’s a High Fae who loved a mortal woman, and lost that love. No regrets.

She also does nothing canonically to liberate those who are queer, poor, or female in the Hewn City, even as third most powerful High Fae in Night. In fact, she actively works to keep the courts segregated by keeping them from Velaris. And there are still innocents living under Keir… have been for 500 years. So: I want her to do something. I want her to step into her power.

For me, (I only speak for myself), I want Mor to be a banshee and a queen— a liberator and a leader. I think she ran so fast, so terrified, and slammed the portal door shut, and now she’s haunted by all she left behind. I want her to go back, open that portal and step into her Truth and Power and liberate her Court.

Without giving too much away, I hope to give her some of that in JEL. I don’t hate Mor. (I’m assuming you read the more recent chapter so I’ll say)— I have her save Mith in that flashback scene for a reason. She was a little girl screaming at sadistic Darkbringers. She saved her best friend. She’s defended so many. And she will again.

I want to see her heal her wound, so she can heal the wounds of an entire Court. There are dreamers down there waiting for her!

Sorry this is so long— you can tell I care about a character when I write this much. (Keir: I’d just be like, WHY is he still alive? Lol)

And thank you for noting my love for my characters. I do really care for them, especially my OC monster baby Mithras 🖤🐍. I hope I at least sort of addressed your answer in this ramble!

[cogbreath]

what's happening with thyrell? (forgive me if i have the url slightly wrong)

so im sure you've heard abt ppl discussing abt if aaron bushnell was trans or not, which in itself isnt inherently bad, but there was some ppl starting to take this as far as claiming that the real reason he self-immolated was related to the VA not wanting to cover bottom surgery anymore for transgender ppl under their care. tyler among many MANY others have taken issue with that specific thing because even if the intent isn't meant to be wrong, its still distracting away from the main and stated reason he did that. His intent was gaza. No matter what his identity was, he was specifically doing this over and in relation to gaza, these were his stated motivations. many white queers r stating so much passion and concern with bushnell than they are about the many many queer gazans that deserve eyes on them. This is what tyler's point was and the points of the rest of us as well. Here's the thing. People are saying that tyler is responsible for harassing these ppl and causing the op of that post to deactivate, when at NO point did he ever on his blog send anyone after anyone, he legit cropped all screenshots of ppls urls irt it. All it was, was a critique of the racist implications with the lack of focus on gaza that bushnell was ASKING for. thyrell started saying bogus shit blaming tyler in particular for all this. when ppl started to point out how the claims weren't even accurate to what tyler was actually doing, thyrell responded by saying anyone who believes in the point tyler was making should be "taken out back and shot". I shouldn't have to explain why the escalation of those kinds of violent statements when you're in a disagreement with ppl who are brown & black is far far from appropriate.

Addiitionally, he's allowing his followers to claim any of us who try to discuss this off anon to be fakes or trolls or claim we are making up the racism. when theres a known history on this site of black ppl getting our personhood erased under the pretense we are political trolls trhying to sew division or something.

[moonsquaremars]

ok so i really wanna write a screenplay about my summer. i think it’d make a really good queer indie film. i’m more a visual person but i hate writing scripts. i might just make it a short story or novella first, but i think i am on to something. there’s too much creative energy flowing through me, i’ve been wanting to focus and write it for a while now.

the premise is two gay guys in the south and their following romance. i’m not sure how much i want it to be autobiographical. id say about 50% of it will be true or based on the truth. the details surrounding their personal lives aren’t too important. there will be character 1 & 2 and they are the primary focus. there might be a friend for the bear and the ex for the twink that will get some coverage. family for twink. maybe just sister for bear.

but the first scene of the film, the shot will see the ocean and then go down to a young blond twink eating at a hotel restaurant on the coast. hell be looking pensive then his older boyfriend will come to the table and greet him. like sugar daddy vibes. then it will be a flashback to the summer.

it will have the two gay guys — one a twink and one a bear — falling in love in the lower middle class / middle class urban south. there will be drug use, id specifically like to have mathematics in a scene or two. i know there’s not a lot of that in media and it also is common in the gay population in a way i think straights don’t realize. i know it’s not exactly palpable for the public, but it’s so common especially in the south, i think it needs its moment in the spotlight. i’ve considered just having molly or cocaine or maybe even LSD. G should also have a mention cuz that’s another gay culture drug. poppers are definitely a must. all that could be considered. but i think it deserves a mathematics scene.

there will be at least one scene of domestic violence. that would probably be the climax of the film. it doesn’t have to be graphic, but hey im not throwing that out the window either. it could stay true to the dull, slow indie rhythm. as long as there is an emotional intensity surrounding it. maybe a bloody nose at least.

i don’t want too many details about the boyfriend twink is with in the opening scene. but there might be a scene where he is in california about 1/4 into the movie, so the viewer remembers it’s a flashback. twink could just be walking around LA though. maybe a scene in SF where he kisses new boyfriend sugar daddy vibes.

and there should probably be a good sex scene or two. again, not enough bear - twink combo in media. the bear / twink combo is important cuz that’s not seen enough of.

that’s all i’ve got for now.

twink will just be exiting an unsatisfying relationship, (partner accidentally had sex with twink’s father), + he gets his onlyfans deleted. so bear is new summer romance. but then it gets ugly. i want the twink’s lack of finances to be emphasized. but also his work ethic.

but i want the viewers to fall in love with the characters like they are with them, falling in love with them. i want it to be heart wrenching, and believable. i want the viewers to feel the emotions of the actors.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, I'm writing this as a young (18) yr old lesbian who just wants some place to relate. I've been having this problem in my circle of friends and beyond, where I'm realizing that my years as a teenager are beginning to come to a close and all of my friends have experiences I'll never have and sometimes it feels like it's held over me or like they look at me differently. Some of my friends are queer, some not, but all of them like men and a lot of them got typical highschool and teenage experiences in these relationships with men like going to school events and dates or even just bringing these boys home to their parents, and sometimes they say things about my inexperience/ my lesbianism that hurt but the more they bring it up the more I feel inadequate. I'm from a really small and conservative town and grew up in a very unsafe household, i never even had the chance to do the things they could and I've always felt excited to finally leave and put myself out there and be openly queer but now because I never had the chance to gain much experience like my friends did I feel too scared and undeserving to put myself out there with women, even though i know the unsafe situation i was in was out of my control im really afraid of being judged the same way some of my friends do to me. I'm not really sure if any of this makes sense or where exactly I'm going with this but long story short I just want to know if socializing and dating as a lesbian gets easier://

This lack of dating experience is pretty common for lesbians and gay men. It is also not as unusual for straight kids as the world would like you to believe. 

It is much less rare than others want you to think for young adults (college age etc) to be unpracticed in dating. The common expectation is high school is a time we are supposed to date people and then by the time we are  adults we have some idea of what we like and dislike and how to navigate the social norms of dating. College or after graduation is then encouraged to be a time to meet those out of our immediate friend and high school circle and date with less constraints from our parents or family. Once we are in the mid to late 20’s we are supposed to get more serious about dating for the long term and settling down. 

The fact is many gays and lesbians don’t date in high school for any number of reasons, the most common being it is just not safe or acceptable either to their family or to their community. Dating someone of the same  sex can still be a dangerous endeavor depending on the region, parents and community. Just like other kids, gay and lesbian teens might not be ready to date until more mature, some into their 20’s and in truth there is no timeline to date. Not everyone is ready to explore intimacy, romance or that sort of interaction at the same time. There should be no shame in waiting until it is something that is of interest to you. Sadly there is pressure from the media, peers, even parents and family to enter into the rituals of dating. The expectation is almost always that it will be with the opposite sex and that is why a lot of young bi people decide to not explore one whole side of their sexuality for many years.  

It seems like every other movie that is targeting teens and young adults has the sole focus of the protagonist either having sex or at least finding true love. A movie rarely has a happy ending unless there is a successful union of two people. This was no different from when I was growing up. We are all saturated with the idea that our life goal is to meet someone and settle down and until then we just practice our dating skills. LIfe is way more complex and interesting than to have a one track mind and that the only way to be doing it right is to date and then settle down. 

Once you get out on your own you will find that lots of young adults just did not date or date successfully in high school or  college. It could be they faced limits from their family or there was just no dating pool in their hometown.  It might be that religion or some kind of moral dilemma kept them from trying. It could also be that they just weren’t ready and didn’t want to. I would hazard the guess that many of your friends were not as successful or happy at dating as they reported to be. The expectations, and positive feedback from adults and kids for dating can be overwhelming and prompt people to crow much louder about their dating than their actions deserve. 

It is a pretty common topic among even my older lesbian friends, but definitely from those in their 20’s that they felt like young teens all over again when they finally dipped their toes into the dating pool, some well into adulthood. We talk about dating boys to cover our sexuality or just to fit in and not be bothered. It was a constant game of dating but trying to avoid intimate contact with every excuse from “I have a cold sore starting” to “my mom said I can’t go out tonight” (when mom said no such thing).  IT was lying to boys who were sweet and understood our reluctance, although not sure why and it was giving in to unwanted advances just to maintain our secret. 

In my opinion it is far better to just wait until you are safe and ready to date whomever it is you want to date. Dating should be fun and a learning time. It should be the practice of social skills and honing your intuition about people. You deserve to be excited and have that fuzzy feeling as you get ready to go on a date with a woman you met online or at a party. 

More good news is that even if you date a woman who has had more experience, rarely is there a person who has it all figured out. You will find most people on their first or 10th date with a new woman are starting from square one, figuring out the other woman and how to impress her or make sure she has fun. 

You will have a larger and more varied dating group once you are independent. FInd lesbians friends, older and younger. Older women are often more than happy to help you avoid the pitfalls they had when dating for the first time. They will share stories of humor and wisdom and hopefully that networking can help you broaden your lesbian friend circles. 

Join the local Pride as a volunteer, seek out the LGBT+ club at your college. Approach the local public library to see if they have a lesbian ready club established or see if they will help you establish one. Subscribe to Lesbian Connection. It is an open forum that is solely made up of letters written from lesbians on all sides of many issues. They list women's and lesbian events , book and lesbian owned businesses, all which can be very helpful in meeting other women. 

I have every confidence you will be okay. And not the only one feeling the way you do.

[sagemoderocklee]

3,7,8

<3

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

startin out rlly swingin' ok... well lotta rlly shit takes out there so it's hard to pick just one. i def dont have any screenshots of anything... pickin' one at random is just like anyone callin Neji horrible or abusive for kickin the crap outta Hinata in their match in the prelims of the Chuunins. like 1. designated match; 2. she was literally goading him about his literally enslavement????????? like anyone who wanna cop for hinata is already someone imma side eye cause for all that she goes through from her dad she never actually suffers from the caste system itself and being 12 doesnt excuse her goading him when she knows damn well what shes doin; 3. the girl would not stop cause of stupid ass naruto, so like yeah she got her ass beat and then everyone and their mother jumped in to protect her but only Gai stepped in to keep Gaara from straight up killing Lee like the double standards. like pls tell me you have no concept of slavery without telling me you got no concept of it... prolly watch movies about white women in the south during the civil war and empathize with them too cause their husband or dad beat them

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i dont know if there is a character i started to hate causa fandom? like i keep to myself and to my focus, and i generally like what i like and dislike what i dislike on its own merit. genuinely i cant think of a single character where im like yeah the fandom has made me despise them. like if i hated a character, i already hated them.

i think if there was anything i could say i developed a hatred for because of the fandom itd be like n*r*gaa but i still like hate that ship on my own too.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

rlly swingin' a bat i havent swung in a minute but or*ch*m*r* is not a trans icon. he's a homophobic and transmisogynistic caricature and tme ppl are quick to disregard that and deny whats textual about this character's preying on children because it doesnt impact them. lack of critical engagement from fandoms has rlly done a number on the way ppl view this character because back in the day we all knew what was up with him re sasuke and didnt need our hands held to know he a predator in multiple ways and that is rooted in the aforemented -phobic caricature-ness. ppl do the same shit with like bugs bunny where it's like no this character was not a queer icon, this character was doin this shit as a joke and ppl need to learn how to differentiate harmful shit from the shit that's in good fun/genuine

and lord if someone tries to send me anon hate about this like they used to just kno you wastin your breath cause i aint gonna give you the time of day

[meetthesoldier]

hi sorry this is outta nowhere but i would love to hear ur thoughts on harry (phone

SORRY ANON I LEGIT FORGOT ABT THIS ASK and im too lazy to draw her fr so heres some fanart i drew of her dying in a glue trap

this time i have a bit more thoughts on her as an actual character so ill start w that before the headcanon dump ... also, throughout this post ill be referring to her w she/her pronouns because of a personal headcanon im VERY attached to. all i ask is any rbs or further questions abt my specific vision of her use those same pronouns... in others posts i do not care obviously. also, this post is specifically abt her in the dsaf universe since shes far more substantial there.

firstly, i should say i ADORE harry. she is one of my biggest comfort characters in a series where almost everybody is one for me. so when i give any criticisms, know its out of love and a wish for some more expansive writing rather than any malice. being critical of media you love is important, etc etc.

my biggest issues with her character really boils down to the lack of acknowledgement abt her being physically disabled. she mentions having a "bad leg" during 3, but its ONLY mentioned that one time, during (i believe) missable dialogue. i understand her not using, like, mobility aids for it since it may be difficult to find suitable stock images (+ all the phonies in that game use the same photos for their bodies, and its totally possible its not something she feels she needs), but it probably shouldve been mentioned or expanded upon more.

i dont believe were given any explanation on how her leg ended up the way it is, or in what way it is. we dont know if she was born with her disability or aquired it later. we dont know if its paralyzed, we dont know if its because of a muscular dystrophy, or anything else. i just wish we were given more info, bcus as it is, it is REALLY easy to look over in favor of, say, her ptsd.

speaking of which, i have some mixed feelings on how her ptsd is portrayed. on one hand, the joke in the restaurant reviews abt her having flashbacks and a subsequent panic attack feels very distasteful, though thankfully this is (i believe) the only instance of this kind of joke at her expense. im glad elsewise it isnt some huge , controlling part of her character - however, again, it IS missable. while one can assume she has it when she discusses her past, i dont believe its explicitly stated UNTIL that review.

tldr; her disability feels poorly handled, mostly from lack of expansion and discussion.

thankfully, though, she is elsewise a very enjoyable character; shes got some really good and funny dialogue, the exposition we get from her about the original managers is really fucking good, and i really wish we heard more abt her experience working with rebecca (and presumably roger)... again, her biggest issues are just not having as much of a spotlight on her as she couldve, but considering the employees arent really the main focus of the game that may be fine actually...

(as an aside, i think about this post every day and cry audibly.)

thus ends the longform musings, onto the silly headcanons;

standard fare queer headcanon dump: trans woman + demisexual lesbian. also, polyamorous. fuck yeah baby steak (ref)

was in a queerplatonic relationship with joe while he was alive, and a romantic one with both tango/terrence (who has some gender fuckery going on as well) and rebecca because i am not immune to homemade lesbianism.

has ptsd in canon, but im adding a "c" in front of that cause aint no way she lived through all of her coworkers (and presumably FRIENDS) dying in such horrific ways and was only affected in the short-term.

autistic! specifically also has the thing i do where i need the time to be a multiple of 5 before i can start doing anything. also has generalized anxiety i think, with a tendency to catastrophize and compensates by insisting to herself everything is toootally fine. definitely NOT going to have a breakdown rn because shes not totally sure that that vending machine is 100% not going to fall on her specifically

probably didnt have many friends as a kid (L) so now she overcompensates by trying to be as charming and polite as possible. wether or not this works in her favor or makes her seem pretentious is a coinflip. (its certainly working on me though!)

has a real soft spot for random niche animals. probably a big salamander and gecko girl. her favorite is the marbled salamander because its cute as hell

slightly off topic everyday i think of how fucking horrific it mustve been for joe to come into work one morning and his best friend just has a phone for a head and extreme memory issues now . literally what the fuck. thats so fucked up

to do a tonal 180... if she was a pokemon trainer shed have a herdier or stoutland as a sort of service dog for walking shorter-medium distances when she rlly doesnt feel like whipping out the cane :.-)

shes so pale its actually ridiculous. bro looks like she hasnt seen the sun in 5 years ... jake pokes a bit of fun for it sometimes

thanks for asking, anon! i love getting excuses to talk about dsaf. i have a lot of thoughts, you know... dont ever friend me on discord my ass will randomly drop either the goofiest or angstiest headcanons at random intervals and i have no real control over whichor when it will be

[saintqueer]

me all month long working on project otb trying to tpwk

[calamitydaze]

Ro Ramdin video out ! At the halfway mark and it's. Pretty okay.

alright, i finally watched it! goddamn you guys weren’t lying that was a heavy hitter. tldr below the cut since it was an Hour of pretty dense commentary so even the summary is long, but i very much recommend watching it in full

i liked it a lot! i’ve never watched her content before before but ro is funny as hell and it was a very well put together and engaging video. i really appreciated the balance she struck between being firm and empathetic, and that she took care to separate criticism of dream from criticism of his fanbase. i took some issues with the first half, mainly in the misinformation department (not super important, but quite a few little things that i felt were incorrect/lacking in detail/misrepresented), and i think it was a flaw to so heavily lean on data taken from a survey you had to dm her to get. i don’t blame her for that though, inaccuracies are to be expected when talking about a community she’s not part of and given how quickly she made this video i can understand relying on secondhand accounts instead of really diving in herself

the second half is where it really cuts deep and i found it SO refreshing for someone to actually look into why and how dream’s fandom came to be the way that it is instead of just endless criticism and talking down to them. i especially enjoyed the section where she talked about how insular and reactionary and hard to reach dream stans are, not because they hate everyone else but because everyone hates them. it’s something i’ve thought for over a year and when i saw her put it so eloquently i was like YES!!!! i said before i watched it that i’m pretty self-aware about my parasociality and why i feel the way i do, and i still like to think i’m not super guilty of her main critiques, but even then it honestly left me with a lot to think about and reassess. particularly the point about how stans seek reassurance from each other to get the moral green light to keep being in the community— it both hit me like “oh shit. i do that” and felt a little close to home in some of the asks i’ve been answering. i’m more than happy to continue comforting people and fostering a less hostile (and hopefully more balanced) discussion, but i hope people don’t see me as some sort of moral compass that tells you it’s okay to still watch dream. i’ve tried to be clear that it’s just a discussion and you should come to a personal conclusion that feels moral and comfortable to you AND THIS FEELS VERY SELF-IMPORTANT IM SORRY but i wanted to say it

so yeah! good video, it was sad to see how nervous ro was to upload it but from what i know the response has been positive so i hope she’s doing well. definitely worth a watch, i’d love to have a conversation with her tbh

tldr:

- even though the twitlonger was an off-the-cuff response, the repeated focus on how the allegations are “harmful to real victims” feels insincere and misdirecting

- the “gorgeous as fuck” snapchat is enough for her to deem the situation inappropriate and heavily question whether he’s handling his fanbase in a responsible manner

- survey takers were overwhelmingly neurodivergent and queer (and about 1/2 and 1/4 trans and poc respectively) and that might be a reason why people stay even if the community becomes toxic, because it’s still a safe space in that regard that’s hard to find elsewhere

- she talked about how self-isolated dream fans are in comparison to most fandoms as a result of continuous harassment and ridicule, and how this creates an “us against the world” mentality that makes it even harder to see when potential misdeeds occur

- the thing she most takes issue with about the fandom is the seeming lack of personal values that people hold above all else, aside from basic leftist stances on things like race and war

- when levied against other fans, accusations of racism and sexual harassment are an insta-block but creators get a grace period, because the space they take up in our lives is larger— but the more you sacrifice your personal values to get permission to continue enjoying a thing the easier it gets to keep doing it

[thegrishaverserat]

the crows writing rant pt 6 - jesper

im not sure if this requires any tw, please let me know!

okay we're almost finished with my little rant

jesper!!!! (slight spoilers)

jesper is such a lovely character (ive said this about every one of them so far but go with it)

hes a poc character, he's adhd coded, hes queer, and hes secretly grisha

our beloved sharpshooter has also gone through a lot, and hes also a very real character as is everyone else

one thing i super love about jesper is that leigh wrote him to have a crush on kaz, and she let it be an unrequited crush that never went anywhere (something you dont see in most fiction - the character usually always ends up with their first love interest) and jesper also supported inej and kaz, even though he was at times jealous of inej

jesper is always made out to be the goofy sidekick type character which yeah his personality can be, but thats not all he is

hes very dedicated to what he does, he just likes to have fun as well. its been said in the books - jesper is at his best in a fight

jesper grew up on a farm in novyi zem with his father and his mother, who died when he was young. jesper is a fabrikator, but he was never allowed to use his powers out of fear. we see some things that kind of point to this (and its effects) throughout the series

jesper also struggles with a gambling addiction which ended up costing jesper his education (and made him join the dregs) and his father the farm. hes ashamed of himself for it, but its an addiction that he strives to get over

jesper appears to be very heavily adhd coded as ive seen some posts point out! if you read a lot of his dialogue and his chapters in general, you can see what appears to be symptoms of adhd - hyperactivity, stimming, lack of focus, impulsivity, etc. this adds a lot to his depth as a character in my opinion and the way he seems like a real person as ive said before

jesper is a queer character!!! i love this because hes also not written in a stereotypical way. and i love his relationship with wylan and even with kaz. thats basically it

i was going to say more i think but i just love him too much to put into words

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[cdmodule]

9, 17, 24, 28, 29, 31 bitch

Hi Nate

From this post

9 - Favorite quality about your favorite character?

Is it fair to say their accent. Because dear god Ther Voice Their Giggle tbeir little vocal quirks make me INSANE DEAR GOD

17 - Favorite (canonically) queer character?

Besides Winner obviously, Latte EEE and Snowy LAF <3 love them

24 - Favorite Intro?

Minutely Object Show S1 Intro nearly brought me to tears

28 - Favorite Ship?

Tree x Clock when theyre chained onto each other (iykyk)

No but like Jokes Aside Take A Wild Guess

I have maaany ships I love but Winnerclock & Winnerloser really Take The Cake For Me

In diff ways tho. To make it short:

Winnerloser I focus less on the romance aspect overall, they def had smth going on though. They were bandmates, they went into adulthood with each other, saw each other grow and grow apart, starting to detest what made them fall in love to begin with. (Keeping it vague for now)

Winnerclock is two Abandoned People with a rough start, lack of boundaries/self awareness clashing with someone who sees everything reminding themselves of their past as a potential threat. But they have more in common than they think. I think they could find new beautiful things in life with each other. Im Normal about these objects btw

Honorable mention: Losercake for bein my first big ship <3Hi nate

29 - Least Favorite Ship?

I only rly care abt bfdi ships Enough so. If you asked me 2 months ago I wouldve said fireafy and a lot of things abt them Writing wise still piss me off, esp in post split but it already started in ep15 TBH. However charlie (and kind of harmie) kinda fixed them for me cuz no one gets it like they do Its Fine .

Some other mentions: Barf Bag x Spongy (theyre not good for each other Im Sorry), Snowball x Fanny (theyre funnier as friends also theyre both gay), Snowball x Basketball (same as prior but bb is Bi to me) uhhh Gelatin x Lollipop but I never see that anyway

Why are all of these straight ships I promise Its not on purpose

31 - Random Fact about a character/show that you love

How much Cary did NOT want Loser to be eliminated (and that Loser is Cary and Michael's fave)

In his reaction to BFB6 he mentions that he specifically didn't want Loser to check the crack for the twinkle so she doesnt make the team lose and ppl Vote Her Out For It. He didnt want Clock to get booted out either which is why he says smth abt "Dont forget Im the reason why we won ep 1 and 3"

And that speech pin and coiny did was supposed to show her in a GOOD LIGHT but it made viewers believe she was secretly evil and breaking the team apart and If u watch the reaction hes Genuinely Suprised how MANY ppl were voting Loser out

CARY N MICHAEL WERE RLY EXCITED TO HAVE HER AND THE SHOW AND ALSO MENTIONED LOSER HAVING BACKSTORY!! ITS SO SAD!!

[variousqueerthings]

Heyyy bestie guess who...

I think your point about love interests is so right, there's less of a focus on how they interact because they're just friends in the later seasons, theres no winning over a nurse moment because they don't need to be won. Also I miss ginger :(

I like your idea about the names and faces mixing too, it plays into the idea of time blurring so three years plays out over 11 seasons.

His fear(?) that he's seen and done too much over his time there is also so interesting, he doesn't feel like he deserves love or affection almost. I mean this in an aro or non aro way too, im even thinking that it would be really interesting if Hawkeye realised his views and feelings about romance and romantic love while in Korea and it took a long time for him to realise that it wasnt something that the war did to him, that it was just a natural part of who he always was.

Also heres where i admit that I stopped watching around season 8 i think(?) because, as you said, of the way the show seemed to constantly punish Hawkeye and how the support he'd had from the beginning has been draining away. (with the exception of Margaret, but one person can't hold him together when he's trying to hold everyone else) I do plan on finishing but i just got away from a similar problem and I don't want to watch it happen when I haven't talked it out properly first lol.

Also all of his lighter moments in the later seasons, especially the ones you mentioned, lack the sort of catharsis he really needs. They're all still about what he does for others, i cant speak on it until i watch them of course bit there seems to be much less gestures and acts of kindness for him.

Okay last points! I really feel like its too late to start censoring fuck my dude, that ship has sailed. I plan on saying more about your last response but its such a beast that im leaving it for my train ride tomorrow where I'll hopefully be able to put it together<3

-majoranon

I hope your train ride is good!

I am personally a glutton for pain (yes I'll leave that phrasing as it is), so I don't mind seeing him upset and worn down 😈

but I definitely feel like he's not given so much softness -- and the turning point was around season 8 I think, because I literally documented Moments between him and BJ and Margaret in s7 (+ season 8 was when Radar left and Period of Adjustment happened and Preventative Medicine was near the end of s7....), and I guess it's because he's increasingly Keeper Of Narrative Themes (vs other characters who carry mainly themes related to themselves and their personal journeys), which puts him in a slightly disconnected space -- the Narrator, Mad Max, Puck, (my flatmate was like "Horatio is also depressed and gay and tells the narrative" and they're not wrong) etc.... so even when he's having fun with the others, or having a moment where he's been relinquished for a second from Narrative Themes to be in the ensemble it feels to me watching like he's on a leash (no I won't change that phrasing either) -- he's still in the prison of the story, it's just giving him a bit of enrichment here and there, but less and less as we careen towards The End

also about aromanticism (forgive me if you already know + you know... things Many Queer People Feel For Similar Reasons) is that it's framed as brokenness by wider society. Romantic Love is the highest form of connection between people and so not being drawn towards this idea is an indication of something being wrong with you and a lot of aro people internalise that

and so the idea that Hawkeye can't disconnect his "incorrect feelings" from war trauma + his thematic role in the Story in which he's being increasingly separated narratively from the others... *charlie day meme*

all of this to say, yeah yeah "communal sub sounds sexual and also that," but mainly I think if someone cradled the back of his head while they gave him a really big hug (kinda like in s7 "Ain't Love Grand"), it might break me (and also him) and that I will on my rewatch document when we've had a moment like in "Peace On Us" where for a second Hawkeye is protected from the violence of the role he plays by the whole camp throwing him a party

(also that Stars and Stripes + Bottle Fatigue + Heal Thyself + Dreams were s8 and I don't know what I'm trying to say there but it certainly makes me stare at a wall)

(also this isn't to say that other characters aren't also occasionally doing their turn as Keepers of Themes or even that Hawkeye-centric episodes tend to be that, so much as when there's ensemble work happening he's increasingly given the War Is Hell perspective)

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hi, I was wondering if you’d have any advice about how to start dating other women as a (scared) bi woman. I know that, for now, i want to be “endgame” with a man, but i do wanna experience what is like to be with a woman. I’m not friends irl with any queer women and im deeply, deeply scared of looking for them, which i guess it’s the main obstacle for any sort of relationship lol. I also feel guilty because i know that in the end i’d prefer to end up with a man because i have a romantic preference for men and it’s the easiest thing. Maybe i’ll feel different if i end up falling for a woman or someone from any other gender that’s not a binary man, but right now idk :(

Remind yourself of your needs right now. You say you want to explore what it's like to be with a woman, you want to try things out... don't lose that focus. Always remind yourself what it is that you want and desire in the moment. Of course, long-term wants are also important to keep in the back of your mind but it's totally okay to live in the moment as well. Right now you want to try dating women, even if """only""" short-term. I put "only" in quotation marks because I do not want to imply that these experiences are worth less than long-term relationships involving a more romantic commitment. It is fine to have fun, to explore sexuality in a more casual way. As long as you are honest about your intentions that's all good. There's plenty of women who aren't looking for a romantic partnership with every women they meet - some girls also just like to fuck or to have a summer flirt or to go on a few dates without any strings attached and wedding bells in the background. In short: it is okay to date even if you do not intend to commit to a long-term relationship.

What is it that you are really scared of? Is it your lack of experience? Well, everybody starts somewhere and most queer women are very understanding if another women hasn't had much or any experience with women. Are you scared of doing something wrong by saying your "endgame" fantasy is with a man? You are not! You are allowed to have a preference or a stronger romantic attraction to men. You're still 100% bi as long as you're attracted to more than one gender and if your attraction to women is mostly physical (and/or you are still exploring how that attraction actually plays out) that doesn't make you any less queer.

How to actually meet queer women depends a lot on where you are. Of course there is online dating which you could try and might be especially usefull if you're in a more rural or conservative place. In a bigger city there might be a queer space you can go to, a bar, a party, a café, a resource center... just any place where queer people meet is a good start. Some of those places actually organise events specifically for singles to mingle which is one approach but I'd also recommend just to go to a "regular" event/meeting just to get talking to other queers. It's nice if you end up meeting someone hot and can get to flirting but at first I would suggest just going there with ~friend-making~ in mind. I get the impression that you haven't really been in tocuh with an offline queer community yet and I have to tell you: it is so so so helpful for your self-acceptance and confidence to meet others like you and to make queer and bi friends. And once you're a lil more confident it'll also be easier to talk to women that you find attractive. And lastly I'd like to recommend the youtube channel of Alayna Joy. She's a lesbian (previously identified as bi and still very supportive of us bi women) and has a series called "lesbian versus baby gay" which might be interesting and helpful to you.

Maddie