#im pretty sure someone actually did tell me. on here. when i made a post about skk coded mcr songs.
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stsapphos · 1 year ago
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why did no one tell me that bulletproof heart is possibly the most skk-escape-the-mafia-together coded mcr song possibly EVER
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orcelito · 9 months ago
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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mclqren · 3 months ago
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL ★ FC43
PAIRING ✦ franco colapinto x fem!sargeant!reader
SUMMARY ✦ with your brother's seat being taken by your admirer of the past year, you try your best to stay clear, but it's hard when franco is trying so goddamn hard to get your attention [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing, very minor hate comments
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ i am NOT fluent in italian or spanish so please correct me if i've messed up on either of them! i count this as the best of both worlds because i love having franco on the grid but i'm missing my goat logan. the faceclaim i've used is marissa long but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, and 110,331 others
tagged logansargeant
yourusername logie, my bestest friend and the best older brother i could ever ask for. i am so so SO proud of you and the journey you have had during your formula one seasons. so many memories have been made, and i know that i will never ever forget the times we spent in the williams paddock, just having fun together (& bullying alex, obviously). the williams social media page won't be the same without me posting slips of you. trust me when i say this isn't the end, but simply the beginning. lots of love always and forever, y/n 💗
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logansargeant ❤️
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liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 94,522 others
yourusername someone hit me up with an italian man please, i love this country
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user4 oh she's taking it
user5 mother as perrrr
user6 the sargeant genetics are LETHALLL
user7 please someone tell me why is she in italy if her brother doesn't drive for williams anymore?
user8 she's the williams social media manager!! she started in the same year as logan x
logansargeant baby sis ❤️
yourusername love you sm 💗
francolapinto did you know i'm actually half italian?
francolapinto sei molto bella🙏🙏 (you are very pretty)
user9 second year running and he's after y/n AGAIN IM CRYING
user10 after taking her brother's seat too PLEASEEE he has guts i have to give it to him
user11 FRANCO'S COMMENT I'M DYINGGGG
user12 and the way she's ignoring it too oh my days 😭 it's been a year and he's still on this
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imessages ( y/n )
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liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 92,801 others
yourusername week off 🍏
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user16 farm girl???
user17 where is she 😭😭
yourusername my best friend's farm 💗
user18 multi-talented girl fr
user19 she looks like she BELONGS fr
user20 she def doesn't want to go back to the old 9-5
yourusername oh def not
yourbsf my angel 🪽🤍
yourusername best time w you alwaysss 💗
francolapinto never wanted to be a goat so badly
user21 I AM PISSING MYSELF
user22 HE IS SO BLATANT AT THIS POINTTTT
user23 @/yourusername PLEASE WE NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON FRANCO'S COMMENTS
user24 she def won't answer but it's still so fucking funny i can't
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liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 97,210 others
yourusername most beautiful place 💗
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user28 beautyyyy
user29 please y/n we need to see your pinterest RIGHT NOW the vibes are everything
user30 okay but...you & franco??
user31 what about letting people have some privacy, hm?
user32 oh wowwww
francolapinto not as beautiful as you 😉❤️
yourusername 🤣🤣
user33 FRANCO YOU DID IT!!!
user34 watch as franco puts y/n noticed x1 in his bio now
user35 THE WAY HE ACTUALLY DID IT. GIRL...
user34 I AM CREASING I CANNOT
lilymhe baby girl 😍
yourusername my lilypad i love you to bits!!
logansargeant are you sure you and that lion aren't twins
yourusername i'm thinking we were separated at birth??
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liked by francolapinto, alex_albon, and 699,303 others
tagged francolapinto
williamsracing and just like that, mr colapinto is a point scorer in formula one, in his second ever race!! congratulations franco, take a bow 👏💗
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user38 CONGRATULATIONS FRANCOOO!!
user39 big question is...which admin posted this?
user40 one MILLION percent y/n. no doubt about it.
user41 you can tell y/n posted this bc of her signature pink heart HAHA
user42 i just know somewhere franco is kicking his feet and giggling over y/n telling him to take a bow for his performance
user43 oh franco colapinto you have won me over
user44 seeing this and lowkey feeling so sad for logan
user45 no but imagine how y/n must feel?? her brother just leaving and having to post this, she must hate franco right about now
user46 honestly, judging by the post race interview, i think y/n is fine with franco scoring points, tbh!
yourusername 👏👏💗
francolapinto hearts ❤️
user47 I AM SOBBING THIS IS TOO CUTE??
imessages ( franco )
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imessages ( y/n )
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liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 101,989others
yourusername 🦢🦢
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user48 IS MISS Y/N OUT ON A DATE???
user49 facecard could kill.
user50 Y/N ON A DATE WHO CHEERED
user51 someone check up on franco like right now.
user52 either franco is the guy in the pictures and that's why he's not commenting, or he's entered a depressive state
user53 knowing his dramatic ass it could be either
alex_albon mystery man 👀🤑
yourusername shhhh albon
logansargeant i'll fight him if he hurts you 😁
yourusername love you too logie 🧸
imessages ( y/n )
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liked by francolapinto, logansargeant, and 106,312 others
tagged francolapinto
yourusername city break 🇦🇷
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user54 FRANCO CAMEO FRANCO CAMEO THIS IS NOTTTT A DRILL
user55 I AM SCREAMING
user56 alexa play how you get the girl by taylor swift
user57 she's in his hometown...so this serious stuff now
user58 Y/N I LOVE YOU FOR THIS
francolapinto 😁❤️❤️
yourusername 💗💗
logansargeant willing to fly out to collect you if i have to 🫡
yourusername i promise you i'm fine 💗
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liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 1,112,091 others
tagged yourusername
francolapinto 1 AÑO DESPUÉS… ¡¡TENGO A LA CHICA!! ¡¡VAMOS!! la persona más hermosa por dentro y por fuera, con el corazón más grande que jamás haya existido. estoy tan feliz en este momento que las palabras no pueden explicarlo. te amo te amo te amo ❤️ (1 YEAR LATER… I GOT THE GIRL!! COME ON!! the most beautiful person inside and out, with the biggest heart that ever lived. i am so happy right now that words cannot explain it. i love you i love you i love you ❤️)
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user59 original y/n franco fans RISE
user60 WE ARE THE REAL WINNERS!!
user61 oh he is in love for real
user62 need someone to love me how he loves y/n
user63 their love is so so special
user64 okay but how's logan feeling about all this...? must be so awkward...
user65 judging by his comment...i think he's doing absolutely fine 🤣
logansargeant hurt her and i'm at your doorstep. 😊
francolapinto will never be a problem 🫡
yourusername you're the cutest ever
yourusername FRANCO 🤣🤣
francolapinto let me share my love for you, no?
yourusername i wanna kiss you so bad rn
logansargeant keep it pg-13 please.
yourusername logan.
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TAGS ✦ @shepgurl ; @blushmimi ; @nyxx-knight ; @fall-bambi ; @suns3treading ; @wowzees ; @d3kstar ; @poppysrin ; @ailooosworld ; @joalslibrary ; @dejavuontrack ; @dripostsstuff ; @kaylassturniolo
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bloodfiendarling · 7 days ago
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𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓾𝓹
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— ( do note this ask was sent before my rules post was out but ill let it pass bcz it doesnt break any rules )
ah hello ! !! this is the first time im writing for jingyuan sama ..! hopefully its to your liking anon .. <:D tho i did self indulge a lil much on this ... hopefully you still like it x_x
also , yes .! i love ryona . i dig it a lot .. please dont b scared to req anything with dark themes .. i will be cheering you on !
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pair — reader x jing yuan
wc — ~1k
contains — sub bottom char, dom top reader, established relationship, gn reader, possessive reader, jealousy, (false) cheating suspicions, reader is kinda fucked up in the head, size difference (smaller reader), thigh humping, dry humping, reader is pretty forceful
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you couldn’t stand it.
the way he would ignore you sometimes, when you two just wouldn’t be able to have some pda for the sake of his reputation. it pissed you off.
you want to love him! show him off, maybe. hug him, kiss him, hold his hand.. all in public. but you can’t — because he has a reputation to uphold here. and what made you more mad is the fact you’d hear your own colleagues talk about him. how they want to get with him.
what pissed you off the most about today, though? you heard someone spreading rumors. dating rumors. not between you and jing yuan, no. (you would’ve appreciated that, really) it was between him and some other woman — one that he’s been working with for a good while.
you clicked your tongue, entering his office. even just from your face it was obvious you were in a horrible mood.
“oh?” he started, with that usual lazy smile of his — “my dear, something on your mind?”
he shifted in his seat, adjusting himself so you could sit yourself beside him — which, you do — letting out a tired sigh. “rumours about you again, love.” you respond.
“mm, it’s the one with that woman, i assume?”
you click your tongue again. just hearing anything related to her set you off — c’mon, now.. it’s not like they’re actually together.. your dearest would never, ever betray you in such a way.
but you see the way that woman was — how she was smiling and all. laughing those rumors off, all while clearly enjoying the attention she got. it disgusts you. it worsens your mood more and more as you thought about it.
the general could sense your frustration — almost as if he read your mind. his expression softened a little bit, this time looking at you. watching you biting on your nail, whilst the other hand was balled into a fist, resting on your thigh.
“hey,” you looked back at him. the frustration was clear in your eyes. even you, yourself didn’t get it. what were you so angry about…? you can’t help but take it out on him. “you love me, right, jing yuan?”
“of course I do.” he replies — it’s short. it’s obvious. but in your messed up little head, it felt like nothing but a lie.
“prove it.”
“wha–?”
“prove it, i said.” you lean into him, a hand against his stomach. the gold part of his belt felt cool against your palm. for a second, it gives you shivers.
“here..?” the general’s voice was filled with uncertainty. “the door is still unlo–”
“that doesn’t matter.” you interrupt, “they’re not allowed to come in, right? locked or not. just tell them to leave if someone knocks. simple.”
jing yuan gulped down, eyeing the door once more before giving in — fumbling with his belt. slowly but surely getting that corset-like piece of armor loose and discarding it completely.
he’s so obedient whenever you were mad…
“c’mere.” you pat on your thigh, inviting him to sit on it — he does, obeying you. you were upset, he didn’t want your mood to go even lower. though, due to jing yuan being bigger than you, he was quite hesitant on putting his entire weight — he knows he’s quite heavy.. but you insist he sits down properly.
he felt shy all of a sudden — putting his hands on your shoulders, nuzzling his face into your neck. you didn’t know if this shyness was a result of the position, or the fact the door was very much unlocked — maybe both.
you had a hand on his lower back, as if inviting for the white-haired general — your free hand decided to run through his hair. it’s so soft… how could you not?
jing yuan lets out a whimper, hips moving on his own. slowly but surely running them up and down your thigh. his own legs shaking. you slip your hand into the side of his pants — feeling around his waist. he jolts at your cold hands, letting out a small gasp. those hands of yours continue to trace through his body, feeling his breath grow a little faster. feeling all over his back, his hips, his waist, him. just him.
you wanted to escalate this, though, you heard something. something he feared. a knock at the door.
“jing yuan, sir?”
a voice is heard, calling to the general. you could clearly hear his breath hitch. “a– ah.. who—nnh–!”
those hands of yours continued to tease him. featherlight touches all over his body, teasing him by slipping your hands into his pants every now and then — watching your darling general explain why the person couldn’t come in — stuttering on his words, trying to reason with them..
you felt mean today. you were in a shitty mood, after all.
he lets out a sigh of release when they finally decide to go — whoever that was leaving his office alone for another time. finally, he gets to calm down.
“i love you.” you whisper into his ear suddenly, “you love me too, right? you wouldn’t go for that woman, right? right?”
why did you doubt him, even?
you don’t know, nor did you care. all you wanted to hear was an ‘i love you, too’ from the general.. your general.
his weight was kind of crushing you.. but you didn’t mind it much. you pressed a kiss onto his neck, sucking into it to form a hickey. then another… and another. it didn’t take too long for his entire neck to be covered by them. you loved it.. marking him up as yours (as if wasn’t already..)
“m’gonna–” his grinding was growing a bit more desperate — damn, already?
“go on. show me how much you love me.” — those words made him whimper, closing his eyes. you pulled on his hair, yanking his head so jing yuan was looking at you — grabbing his face with one of your hands and inviting him into a messy kiss — tongue being forcefully shoved into his mouth.
“i love you, i love you, i love you.. mmMH—!” he said between eager gasps, feeling his orgasm washing over him. you could, too — that warm feeling on your thigh.
he wraps his big arms around you, moans being muffled by the kiss. he just couldn’t get enough, can he? he wouldn’t even care anymore if someone came in and saw him this way. neither did you. at least they’d know you were his.
“i love you, darling. please ruin me..”
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hsr masterlist ♥︎
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annebaby · 6 months ago
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the bachelorette
hello everyone! i decided to go ahead and post this. there will be a part two, not entirely sure when that will be out!
i am so thankful for all the new followers and the amount of likes on my recent work. thank you!!!
divider from here!
warnings: cheating, questionable sexuality???, kissing, grinding
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the music boomed through the speakers of the honky tonk in downtown nashville. the strobe lights danced all across the floor, tracing the dips and curves of my own body. the smell of whiskey and leather filled my nose, setting the atmosphere for a perfect, man-free night.
i was celebrating my bachelorette party this weekend. my friends only insisted that we get drunk, go dance, and dress slutty like we were 19 years old again. i had to oblige - they wouldn’t take no for an answer. they picked out my too-revealing dress, a strappy silver material that barely held me in. my hair was pinned up in a bun, loose strands brushing across the skin of my face. 
for the first time in a long time, i felt hot. i felt desirable and happy. i felt free. 
its not that my fiancé, will was bad. he was great, perfect even. he treated me well enough, made me feel pretty, and he had a pretty good sex drive. there was nothing to dislike. i put on a happy face for long enough to fool everyone, but deep down i was not happy. 
i wanted more. much more. i wanted someone who needed me like i was their only option. i wanted someone to make me feel like a princess. someone who -
“hey, Y/N! you okay?” 
i heard my friend, maddie yelling over the music for me, quickly snapping me out of my thoughts. i’m glad she did, or else i’d start ruining my own party. 
i walked over to her, joining her on the dance floor. i put my drink cup in the air, smiling proudly. i’m not sure what noise left my drunken mouth, but it was a noise full of faux joy and happiness. it was good enough to fool my friends though. a fake smile and chug of my now-empty cup was all they needed to be fooled. 
i dropped the cup on the ground, it quickly being crushed by someone’s foot in front of me. i looked up, making eye contact with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, girl. she has to be at least 6’0. she was towering over me, slowly creeping closer into my personal space. 
“hi,” she breathed. 
i seemed to pause my movements, starting intently at the woman now in front of me. she was gorgeous. her facial features worked together in perfect harmony, her teeth as perfect as teeth could be. her skin was glowing, freckles proudly scattered across her face. 
“hey.”
that was all i could say. i was so shell-shocked, nothing crossed my mind but her. 
i hadn’t felt like this in awhile. my first time meeting will wasn’t even this exciting. i don’t really remember the first time we met, actually. 
i should probably get on that, i need to get my vows finished soon. 
“i noticed you look a little out of it. you okay?” the blonde asked, smiling. 
wow, someone actually noticed! 
“yeah, i-im fine. but thanks for noticing…” i left the sentence open-ended, hoping for her name or any sort of information about her. 
“oh, its kate,” she responded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. 
“kate,” i mutter to myself. unfortunately, now was when my alcohol started to really hit. 
“kate…” i repeated. she looked at me and laughed, looking down at her feet. 
“i’m Y/N,” i responded. she looked back at my face, smiling gently.
“so listen,Y/N,  i was wondering if you’d join me out there?” she asked. i stared at her blankly, dumbfounded. 
i didn’t respond as i continued staring at her. 
“my teammates over there,” she pointed to a group of girls all on the other side of the bar. “my teammates begged me to come talk to you. you’re stunning.”
if my mouth wasn’t already open, it definitely was now. i froze for a second, truly contemplating what to do. i could innocently dance with this gorgeous girl (who has now managed to make me feel things i haven’t felt in a long time), or i could tell her why i was here and refuse to dance. 
my drunken boldness took over, my hands pushing her to the dance floor as i grinned at her. my hands wrapped loosely around the back of her neck, her hands finding my hips and pulling me closer. i swayed back forth with the music, inching closer until we were pressed against each other. 
i don’t know what it was, but she was so addicting. her touch caused burning sensations all over my body, her smile digging into my chest. it was almost painful. will never made me feel like this. he never made me feel anything but content, fine. 
i looked around for my friends, hoping they wouldn’t see this and get suspicious. they knew i didn’t like girls, right? 
did i like girls? 
i’d been wondering for awhile, assuming it could be the reason why i felt nothing for will. i never felt anything for any boy, at that matter. i liked the way girls’ smiled, i liked that we were the same, i wanted to try a girl. 
luckily, no one was to be seen as i scanned the room. i let myself be free as the bass sounded, her thigh finding its way between my legs. it caught me off guard, but sent shivers down my spine nonetheless. kate was still smiling, occasionally looking between us and watching me move on her. her lip went between her teeth every now and then. 
i had to take her home. i had to. i knew i shouldn’t ;the whole reason of this trip was to celebrate my “love” for someone else. 
i stared up at her, hoping she would ask the question so i didn’t have to. when she stayed silent, i twirled the ends of her hair in my fingers while looking around for quick scan one last time. 
not seeing any of my friends, i leaned in and pressed my lips against hers, all my thoughts of will leaving my brain. she opened her mouth into mine, her hands leaving my hips and cupping my face instead. i felt her tongue gently enter my mouth, chills engulfing my body. 
i kissed her back, loving the feeling. this is what i wanted, this is what i needed. 
she pulled away, scanning my face. i was out of breath, my mouth slightly open in shock over what i just did. 
“come home with me, please,” kate breathlessly says. 
her hands hold onto my arms, silently pleading for me to come with her. i knew nothing about her, but something felt so right. i’d be a fool to say no. my thumbs stroked the roughness of her hands, smiling and looking at them. 
“is it worth it?” i ask, slightly teasing. 
she smirked, licking her lips before saying, “i’ll make it worth it.”
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cupcakeslushie · 5 months ago
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I dont usually send asks, mostly cause im shy and don’t know what to say lol, but I wanted to share my appreciation for your Kendratello AU, cause it’s helped me recognize a toxic relationship in my own life.
I’ve never been a victim to SA or anything of the likes, so I can’t say I’ve been EXACTLY in Donnie’s place, but something that unsettled me early on when reading your AU was how…NICE Kendra would seem when alone with Donnie.
In a lot of media, especially in the media I saw growing up, the manipulative antagonist almost always had very obvious tells that show they’re evil when interacting with the victim. Maybe they’re talking about committing a very clearly villainous deed, keep the protagonist prisoner, something like that. But Kendra didn’t. Well, not always.
Kendra destroyed Donnie from the foundation up, and then rebuilt him back up to be who she wanted him to be, would punish him but then spin the situation around to be his own fault, but the rest of the time she would seem kind.
Only recently have I realized that someone very close to me has been toxic for most of our lives, and the reason it took me this long to realize it was because they would treat me kindly only until it became in their own interest to act otherwise. But I would take it, because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I assumed that since they loved me, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY (emotionally) hurt me.
Spoiler alert: they did.
I’m not going to get much more into it, but your AU’s been very comforting to me ever since this happened, because it’s helping me come to terms with the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault just because our relationship seemed nice most of the time.
Your depiction of Kendra manipulating Donnie so realistically, and Donnie slowly but surely realizing that Kendra was hurting him is so powerful, and I thank you for that.
I’m so happy for you Anon 💚💚
It’s good to see these patterns, and depending on how toxic the relationship is, to speak up for yourself, or cut the person out, if they are unwilling to change.
Kindness is often a tool used by manipulators. But the biggest thing to ask yourself is exactly what you saw. Is this person only nice to me when they need something from me? And if so, then this isn’t real kindness. Good for you for knowing your worth!!
⚠️
sa related ask and discussions of very toxic relationships…
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Personal experience rambling below. Toxic friendship and sa mention.
I’ll only be discussing this once, here, in this post. So I’m afraid if I get anyone asking for further info, I’m not going to reply /lh
I’m very sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope you can find what you need to heal. Everyone’s traumas are so different, so please if you can, and haven’t already, speak to a professional that will give you help catered to you.
But I do want to immediately answer your question and say, yes, I have healed, for the most part. It took a lot of work and self-reflection that I didn’t want to do, because it was scary. But when I finally talked to someone, and realized I needed to take action in order to heal, that was when the process started.
For years, I thought my only options were to suffer in silence, and that what happened to me was my own fault, because towards the end, I was consenting. But I didn’t understand how my mindset and self worth had become so twisted.
My person (let’s call him J) was one of my best friends growing up. But as he got older, and more interested in…mature things, he changed. J would only ever agree to hang out together unless I offered to give him something to make it worth his while. Eventually I started to think these acts were all I was good for, as that’s all that made him happy to be around me. Pretty soon, J didn’t even have to push the ideas onto me. He only had to act uninterested or busy, and I would sit there and beg to do whatever he wanted.
The idea of rejection grew to be so painful and terrifying as he was one of only two friends that I had (the other being his sister. So if I lost one, I was so scared to lose the other). And I’d recently lost one of my closest childhood friends. Which he often used her cutting contact with us in his manipulations as well.
(It wasn’t until years later that she contacted me through Facebook and revealed that it was J that made her feel too uncomfortable, and as she already lived two hours away from us, and only visited once a year, it was just easier for her to cut off contact. I don’t blame her now, but without that knowledge, the thought that it was something I did, only helped J manipulate me.)
As I grew older, and I got better friends, I started to learn just how much I’d been pushed into only ever doing what he wanted, and how one sided of a relationship it was. He moved away, and that distance I was so scared of became a reality. But it was the best thing to ever happen. I still wonder what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in town. If we might’ve gotten married or if I would’ve finally stood up for myself. But all that matters is he is gone. There is always the danger of him coming home and me seeing him—we were neighbors, so his parents and mine still live right next door. Holidays can be kind of a high stress time lol.
That cafe comic is actually probably the most therapeutic piece out of the whole Kendratello AU I’ve done, as it’s always been a fear of mine that I could just turn around and he’d be in town visiting lol. Sending Kendra through that portal was highly cathartic. But even if that were to happen now, I have my coping skills, and I’m in a much better headspace. I think I would be able to handle myself.
I’m still a people pleaser, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, even with all the work I’ve done. The biggest thing is, I know I’m worth more now. I can see real kindness, and catch the fake stuff much better by looking for those same toxic signs. The real friendships I’ve made have shown me what connection is truly like. It’s not a one-sided negotiation every time you get together. And if it is, then it’s probably not a healthy give and take. I’ve healed, but it is a constant effort.
Every new person sets off some kind of anxiety in the back of my head, but I don’t let that fear control how our relationship will develop. I’ve got the final say in what happens and what I get out of it.
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thisbitchcantdraw · 2 months ago
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Genuinely tweaking because it’s 4 in the morning rn and I’ve been drawing this all day, literally the second I was free I was drawing.
AND IT TOOK ME 6 HOURS WHATTT
So as some of you know I’m a big fan of a FanFiction made by @theellipelli and it’s epic and great and it’s yanqing and Jing yuan and time travel and family issues GO READ IT IM GREAT AT PROMOTING THIS HAHAH.
So like… I didn’t read the new chapter and I’m scared to do so BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN TW DEATH??? STOP.. I better not cry
Anyway so I had the idea on what the idea was but I didn’t know how to make it right so I ended up with this, here’s the starter sketch with colour
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Now MEGA TRANSFORM RENDER BOOM WOW heheh thank you thank you👏👏👏👏
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If you can’t tell Baiheng is drunk and in my head she should be kept at least 5 miles away from any person when she’s drunk
Jinglius hand looks weird but look at yanqing he looks great #neverdoingmysondirty
The atrocious hand grip on yanqing head I head to learn how to draw hand can someone teach me
Ik it’s really hard to tell what’s going on with df and yingxing but I wanted to fit all the quintet in (they are just whispering to each other which is pretty much “bro can we please leave” “nah”) Df is so circle I’m sorry idk what happened I’m tweaking again
Sorry that jy, yq and baiheng look so much better than everyone else that’s the difference between start vs finish
And if anyone is out there “6 hours for that?? Man you got to be joking” well Uhm actually I’m a very slow artist
I think I spent the smallest time on yingxing
But I think I spent at least like an hour on the sketch sigh can I get a pat on the back
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ALSO DRAWING THEM WAS SO HARD BECAUSE OF THE SMALL AMOUNT OF REFERENCES I HAD..
I wanted to do cloud night Jing yuan but the design was different from the fic one so I had to live of that one art the author of the fanfic did (go check out her tumblr tagged her above she’s great support her on every platform possible or you’ll die)
Anyway ik not a lot of people are reading this but I would like to thank art Jesus, art God and Beyoncé for giving me the motivation to finish this in one day
Uhm that’s the end make sure to support the author love you all bye,!
Scared to post this second thoughts are gonna be the end of me
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stardustloserdoll · 1 year ago
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Hi! I saw your post about writing about Jake and Johnnie and I'm so happy! There's not enough fics about them.
Can I request fic Jake x reader and reader is Johnnie's cousin and lives at his house because she's new in LA?
And one day Jake and Johnnie eat super delicious dinner at his house and Jake is surprised how good hai friend cooks but he just says "YN made it". Jake thinks he somehow missed information about his friend's new girlfriend.
And it took several weeks for Jake to meet her and fall in love with her, but there was still this misunderstanding.
How do you think this situation could be resolved with a happy ending?
DUDE IKK!!!
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johnnies cousin
female reader
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“well here’s your room.” johnnie said pointing to the empty bedroom. “call me if you need any help.” i nodded my head and set down my things on the floor. “thanks johnnie!” after a few hours of unpacking, my room was finally done. with a satisfied sigh i began walking into the kitchen to prepare some dinner.
once i finally finished cooking i called johnnie to come eat, moments later johnnie came into the kitchen his hair disheveled as he rubbed his eyes. i smiled setting down his plate and mine, "i made us some dinner." he walked over and sat down trying it "y/n, this is really fucking good." i smiled and sat down joining him to eat "thank you."
"oh yeah, im going to be out tonight. im gonna explore LA." i mentioned between bites. "cool have fun. im having a friend over too just for a bit." i nodded my head and ate the last of my food heading to wash my dish. "well, the foods on the stove if you want more. later." i said grabbing my keys and purse. "see ya, thanks for dinner."
“dude this foods really good!” jake said as he scarfed down his food. “y/n made it actually. she’s new to LA and she’s been staying with me for a while. you’ll meet her soon.” johnnie responded, making jake raise an eyebrow, ‘johnnie has a girlfriend and he never told me?’
weeks passed by and jake was getting more and more desperate to meet y/n. "when can i meet your girlfriend hm?" jake smiled as he handed johnnie a gummy worm "girlfriend? y/n isn't my girlfriend. did i not tell you she was my cousin?" jakes eyes grew wide "OBVIOUSLY NOT." johnnie laughed "i forgot to tell you that, my bad."
"shes home right now actually, wanna meet her?" johnnie asked. "oh yeah sure, if she doesn't mind." johnnie shook his head "nah she wouldn't. i always talk about you to her. she always asks the same thing about when she can meet you." johnnie laughed as he led jake to y/n's room.
knocking on the door y/n was heard on the other said saying "coming!" as the door opened they were met with y/n smiling up at them. jakes mouth opened when he saw how pretty johnnies cousin was. "close your mouth jake." johnnie mumbled, making y/n laugh. "whats up." y/n asked.
"y/n this is jake. the guy i talk about non stop to you." y/n smiled giving a friendly wave at jake. jake gave a wave back "nice to meet you y/n." jake responded shyly, his face turning slightly red. "nice to meet you too jake. i heard a lot about you." y/n smiled. they all stood there awkwardly in silence waiting for someone to say something. johnnie whispered something in jakes ear making jake nod his head. "so.. y/n, would you be interested in hanging out or something?" jake asked. "i'd love to."
these past few weeks jake and i spent everyday together. one day as jake was dropping me off he stopped me "y/n. i wanted to tell you that uh.. nevermind." i closed the door and sat back down in the seat "whats wrong, you know you can tell me anything." i said placing a hand on his arm. "i like you and i was hoping you'd say yes to being my girlfriend." i smiled leaving over to kiss his cheek "i feel the same way, of course."
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tldr: the story of how i figured out im gay and why i relate to byler so much. aka why its good rep
this was not supposed to be this long
my best friend doesnt like stranger things bc she thinks the metaphorical texture of the show is gross feeling(valid) but she follows me on here and has had to block the byler tag bc its all i post about these days and shes not into it.
anyways it made me think about why i love byler so much and it definitely has to do with the fact that as a queer person i relate super heavily to their story. being gay is way more acceptable now and i was born in 07 so its not like its was considered a death sentence to be gay in general. however i grew up in the classical church. my mom was part of a religious cult in highschool and i was my parents first kid and they were super protective of me. Im also autistic and i spent most of my childhood very worried about doing and acting the right way to make people accept me. my parents favorite story to tell people about my childhood is that when i finally graduated my crib and got a toddler bed they were worried that i would never let them sleep again. that didnt happen tho, in fact i refused to get out of bed with out express permission and would lay there until they came told me i could get up.
id like to say that i was homophobic growing up but not in the traditional sense. it was more that i was actually afraid of gay people. No one around me ever really said anything blatantly homophobic or had radical ideas about the subject but we were so deep into the church and i was always afraid of everything. when i was in elementary school we would do drills. call and response cult like stuff. theyd ask us to define sin and wed spout off this memorized line about going agaisnt gods will in action or thought or intention. i didnt even know what a gay meant until i got to middle school and the entire idea terrified me. because thats not allowed and when someone brings it up all the adults get that one look on their face and the pastor says that homosexuality is a sin or wtv.
i had this one friend, lets call her jane, at the time. i really liked her but she was kind of a delinquent, she didnt have the best home life and she was kind if an angry kid so when she came out to our friend group as bisexual in i think 7th grade, we (the rest of the group was v religious ) were concerned about it but not really surprised. we werent supportive but we werent angry either. it was more like we werent sure what to do. she had always been a problem child so it didnt seem to out of the blue for someone like her to like girls so we just kind of tried not to talk about it again.
I was a pretty big drama kid at the time( still am) (i swear i have a point to this) and i became friends with this one girl. lets call her belle. anyways i reallllyyyy liked belle i dont think i had a crush on her but i thought she was really cool and fun and liked hanging around her. we werent really close much to my past and present dismay but when i did hang out with her i always had a fun time. a few years later she told me that she was bisexual. this pretty much broke my little brain. because belle was cool and fun and normal and it was the first time when i realized that maybe there was something wrong with the way my church worked. they had to be wrong because there was no way belle was evil and going to hell. i loved being friends with her and i couldn't accept the fact that her liking girls changed anything. she still felt like the same person. still the topic was terrifying to me, i was so afraid that i was wrong or maybe just not smart enough to see the truth. so many people around me that i grew up being told knew what was right, knew what god was telling us said that it was wrong so maybe i just didnt get it. maybe i wasnt close enough to god to understand what made gay people so bad. still something changed from then and the next year i ended up being close to this girl, lets call her beth, (all my other friends had either moved on or were on different sides of our grade and tbh i was terrified of her but i had no one else). Anyways beth also had a crazy homelife she talked a lot about how she hated her family and how she would kill her dad if she could. she also ate highlighters, just drew on her tongue, and sold pictures of her feet on instagram to make money. needless to say as soon as i hit highschool i never spoke to her again, she freaked me out. anyway one day me and beth were walking at recess and she turns to me and tells me that im gay. i knew she was pan at this point and i didnt really care though looking back on it she was definitely flirting with me. I got freaked out and told her there was no way i was gay and assumed that she just wanted me to like her back but id had a crush on a guy before so i couldnt be gay.
speaking of this guy, he sat next to belle in my science class in 6th grade. i sat behind them and they were good friends. we were sort of a trio in that class and i thought he was really nice and funny. he was the first guy id ever been friends with and i assumed that the fact that i enjoyed hanging out with him and having fun meant that i must have a crush on him. because girls and boys cant just be friends. thats what everyone always said at least. one day we were texting and he told me that he liked me and wanted to go out. i csnt describe the feeling i got then. it was this werid mix of anxiety and fear and knowing that i should be excited but instead i was disappointed. and i didnt know why. i told him i wasnt allowed to date til 16 and if he still wanted me then whe could date then. i cried about it for almost a year. which doesnt make any sense because i rejected him not the other way around. but i felt heartbroken. im still not really sure why.
when beth told me i was gay i p much told her to f off in the most good christian way possible but i still thought about it. the idea felt so overwhelming and i couldnt think about it without wanting to have a panic attack so i stopped thinking about it. then i had a gay dream about jane and honestly i should have figured it out then but somehow i completely disregarded.
i changed schools for high school so i was with a lot of new people. i wanted a fresh start. at the time i felt like id been pretending to be someone else for my whole life and i hoped that starting over would help me find myself or something. I always sort of knew i was different from other kids i never felt like we had much in common or something but i could never put a finger of what it was (it was the autism). when i started highschool my main goal was to make friends on my own and conquer my social anxiety when had been crippling throughout middle and elementary. i ended up meeting this girl, lets call her cassie, (so many people ikik) and we became super close. she had a lot of issues as well bc apparently i attract unstable people. she was by far the worst id dealt with though. she was suicidal, ocd, anorexic and hurt her self a lot. it was a very codependent friendship but we were attached at the hip. she was my whole world at the time, nothing else really mattered more than her not killing herself. one day we were texting after midnight and she told me that she thought she might be bisexual and i told her a didnt care. i really didnt care i was more worried about her killing herself. she said she had a crush on someone but wouldnt tell me who and i let the topic die.
then heartstopper came out on netflix and i got DEAD sick. i couldnt even speak. it was very bad. anyways i had a computer at this point and was looking for something to watch. i settled on heartstopper because id heard so many good things about it and i was morbidly( at the time) curious. i watched the entire show in one sitting. i was scared my mom would find out and when she did find out she gave me this hesitant look and said she didnt love the idea of me watching that kind of stuff. i watched it anyways. i was mesmerized dude. the scene of nick nelson in his bedroom, on the verge of tears searching the internet for anwsers was so powerful to me and it was like something clicked in my brain.
what if i am gay??
id never let myself actually ask mysrlf that before. id never dared to even think it was a possibility because of course im straight. id know if i liked girls. but i sat there dead sick and dying slowly and looked over at my book case at all my favorite books. i looked up on youtube how to tell if your bisexual (bc ofc i like guys duh) and it said something about thinking about how you feel about fictional characters and i sat and i thought. it was a very overwhelming week. i thought back to middle school and the strange possessiveness i had over my best friend at the time, the feeling of hurt i always seemed to have when she hung out with someone else. i hated that part of myself. i felt validated in my feelings at the time but i never knew why i felt that way and it felt unfair to her.
at the time i was talking to a guy. he was nice and pretty chill but i sort of knew i didnt like him the way he liked me. i wanted to though. i wanted to like him so freaking badly. so i kept taking to him. id be on the phone with him for 5 hours just talking about nothing and tell myself that this was what its like to like someone. it wasnt a bad experience, he was nice and i liked to talk to him. but i didnt have feelings for him. one night i texted cassie back and told her that maybe i was bi too. she was from a christian household too and we talked for a while one what we should do.
my parents have always had this policy of being honest with each other when sometbing happens in our lives. which i think is pretty normal but my autistic ahh took it very seriously. almost as soon as i started questioning i told them. bad idea, was not ready. i was so scared that somehow theyd look at me and figure out that i was thinking about it, and that theyd be mad that i didnt talk to them about it. i said it at dinner and there was legit forks dropped. my mom took me on a 2 hour long walk to try and explain myself which was HELL because i couldnt even understand what was going on.
"why do you think you like girls??"
"idk"
they eventually dropped the subject.
soon after that me and cassies relationship started to get werid. after being so codependent for so long we had thsi strange sort of toxic need for each other to be sane or something. she confessed that she had a crush on me and i really wasnt sure how to feel about it. she was so important to me and the trauma and confusion and drama of our friendship got all jumbled in my head and we fell into some sort of homo romantic something. we never did anything besides holding hands a few times, but we did that before either of us came out anyways. we went to summer camp summer after freshmen year and shit really hit the fan and we ended up having a friendship breakup. she told me afterwards that she was a devoted christian now, that god had saved her from herself and that now she was straight. i was really lost the rest of that summer. i wasnt sure what to do at all, who i was or what i was supposed to do now that i left the person i had dedicated the past year of my life and my mental health too. i was really suicidal for a few months after that but slowly i got better.
second semester of sophomore year i had my first real crush on one of my close friends at the time. she was straight which sucked but those 6 months of my life were some of the most terrible exhilarating experiences of my life. thats how i knew i wasnt wrong. bc theres no heterosexual option for wanting to make out with a girl in a dirty school bathroom stall.
it was hard though, being in love with someone you know will never feel that way about you. even if at the time i had mostly gotten over the majority of my internalized homophobia theres still that feeling of guilt. you feel so gross and creepy and unwanted. this person doesnt want you, they dont even want your gender but you cant let it go. its a very lonely feeling.
it was around the same time that i figured out that i was a lesbian. after i felt what it was like to like someone, really like someone. to be able to identify that feeling as romantic feelings, it was pretty obvious that i didnt like guys. i felt really bad about the guy i was talking too. he had no idea and id just heen leading him on for almost a year. i felt super shitty about it.
idk if that was coherent but i guess thats why i love byler so much. it feels so raw and real to me. i watch the van scene and i see myself. i see how hard it was and how much i hated myself and wanted so badly to be normal and to be able to talk about boys with my friends without feeling uncomfortable. i see the way mike is with el and i see myself with that boy from middle school. so desperate for affection and so so confused. this feeling of guilt and regret, the heartbreak of loosing someone that you couldve had but you dont want. i want to want it but i dont and its so heartbreaking.
i almost think its a worse feeling that being broken up with. i fell in love with a girl recently and she ended up ending things. i was super upset about it cried for a long time. but still. its not the same hurt. it hurts but its not the same deep primal hurt. sitting on my bathroom floor at 13 years old sobbing my eyes out because im not with a boy that i rejected. wishing that things were different but not wanting to actually change. i broke my own heart and i didnt even mean too
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blackheart-6 · 9 months ago
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noelle holiday age progression chart
without height lines
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explanations of designs:
hi yall
so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!
its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁
i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)
first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!
secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!
also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!
now onto my explainations for individual drawings!
theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^
this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.
7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P
11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part
okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.
this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too
for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again
finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^
i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪
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stolaz-the-artist · 3 months ago
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May you make a murder drones au of nexo knights Please 😢
MURDER DRONES SPOILER WARNING
I mean yeah, that's kind of obvious.
This Is gonna be a loooong post. Longest ask I've worked on.
I didn't need to make so many drawings but I had so much fun I just kind of had to.
im gonna do everyone a favor and kind of digitalize my writing under each page, just in case its hard to read.
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Serial Designator C
"I don't know because you won't tell me!"
"Oh please don't run! if I miss it will just prolong your suffering"
"Oh i do wanna be dapper *sigh* but alas"
Clay: Are you . . . new drones?
Macy: Uh, sure?
Clay: Hm. . . Well I have been saying we need more bots
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Serial Designator W
"C-100110010! HOW DARE YOU LOCK YOUR MOTHER UP!? You let me out this instant!"
"Wait . . . Prom queen?"
Lance: He's literally so ungrateful. Like you're so cool.
"How did you even manage to knock yourself offline?"
*Rebooting. . .*
"If the other one survived after all this time it's truly a miracle"
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Serial Designator F (Fletch)
Post limb change
Him and Izzy are very close friends (She think its cool when its revealed he's a Disassembly drone)
Was "adopted" by two worker drones (That W killed in an attempt to get him back)
He's a bit taller due to his torso, but because his legs cant fully support him, he's constantly hunching
"Im so tired of this shit"
Gets called names like • Loose-limb Fletch
•Drop-A-Limbs
•Disjoint-Drone
•Snap-off Fletch
Fletch: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?
Wanda: Literally barely anything. Just put the right limbs on
Wanda: Like what kind of idiot tried to connect Worker drone limbs to a Disassembly drone torso?
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Macy Doorman
"Huh, knew illegal downloading all those Ned Knightly movies would come in handy"
"EAT PLASMA BITCH!"
Macy: One more buzzword and I'll do it
Jestro: . . . Equity Partnersh-
"Oh bite me"
Clay: Now im pretty new to this "Rebelling" stuff. But uh, do I have to fight my mom? Its just that-
Macy: YES!
Clay: sighhh Fine, lets do this
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Aaron
"The hell happened to you?"
Aaron: So do you think they like video games?
Lance: Doubt it
Aaron: Then why are we here?
Lance: Blackmail
Aaron: Oh fair
One of Macy's best friends (And the friend she's had the longest)
"Super invited to my shindig next week"
Aaron, whispering: I mean, he's fun sized?
*sizzle*
Aaron, whispering: Ok so not fun
Macy: whispering: OH REALLY!?
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Lance
Axl: Where's Macy
Lance: She went out
Axl: Out? Have she lost her mind?
Lance: Think so. Oh and Aaron went with her
Axl: Excuse me?
Lance: Yeah . .
Phone focus cuz tiny space
Wanda: This is so shit
Lance: I know right
Fashionista. Yes he knows there are non flip phones, he has one, but it just doesn't meet the same level of sass as a clip phone
Lance: Do you understand what will happen if you go out there? Let me spell it out; D-E-A-T-H! Are you out of your-
Aaron: I'll come lol
Lance: Yeah, no. You two gp enjoy dying. The hell you think this is, a shitty horror movie?
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Axl
"Im gone for 5 min to get some actual edible snacks and everyone is dead!?"
Accidentally gave her the gun idea
Really fixated on food, spends a lot of time recreating food
His bigger legs make him a bit less flexible, but he packs a mean kick (home made)
Axl: There we go!
Lance: Aren't you worried someones actually gonna drink it thinking its actually edible- or drinkable I guess
Lance: But idk, people are pretty stupid here
Axl: Hm, no you're right
Decoration don't drink u'll die lol
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Serial Designator J
"its tricked you! and if I promised you anything . . . It tricked me too . . ."
"Ha-ha! I-am so good-at-hiding!"
Is AD's most "trusted" worker (And with ,pst trusted I mean most easily manipulated)
Clay: What will the company do to us once we're done? How do we know the company wont get rid of us?
Jestro: Awh, im so sorry. You know the consequences of questioning the company
*virus*
Clay: Hm, fair enough
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Monstrux
Merlok
Absolute Destruction
"The flesh demands invitation"
"Dropped this-silly"
Pre-skinning Merlok
Robot view
Monstrux: You look g-great, toots! hm . .
Monstrux: Have you considered a hat-tho
~*~
There's a few extra sketches I did for fun lying around, and if ya'll want that (plus the story line of what's happening) just tell me I would include it here but this is painfully long enough
(Oh and all relationships are kinda neutral here. They don't entirely line up with the show. Ship whoever I don't care)
Anyways, this took weeks to make (cuz of studying and the fact I got sick in the middle of it) but im rather happy with what I have came up with!
Always feel free to make asks like this! I enjoy them a lot! might take a while for them to come out cuz of school but I'll do my best!
(Also I'm aware some are a bit out of character, it was for comedic purposes)
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keerahsturn · 11 months ago
Text
I LOVE YOU🏹
-matt sturniolo
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pairing- y/n and matt sturniolo
summary- Love is confusing. Especially when you think it’s one sided. She loves everything about him, thinking he loves others. Real love is painful and harsh, but it can also be as calming as a lullaby to a baby.
warnings- angst, mental health problems??
(y/n’s pov)
It’s killing me. Seeing him with other girls that is. He doesn’t know I like him, love him even, he wouldn’t care if he did know.
So, here I am, sat on a couch at a loud crowded party, watching as matt pulls another girl on his lap. They connect their lips and i tear my eyes away, my heart withering and a lump forming in my throat.
I felt sick to my stomach and i stand up swiftly, my legs shaking at the sudden movement.
A fast walk is my pace as i race out of the room, heading upstairs and into an unoccupied room. I search desperately for a window of some sorts and i find a balcony.
I open the balcony door and take a seat on the beanbag that sat in the corner of the platforms surface, sighing and trying to catch my breath, my lungs aching for air.
As i calm down, I feel someone’s presence. I stay looking ahead of me as a tear falls down my rosy cheek, red from the harsh cold air.
“Y/n? Hey. Come on now, whats up?”
It’s Matt.
I shake my head, not wanting to speak. Even if I had wanted to speak, my voice would have came out thick and cracking.
My breath hitches as i feel him touch my shoulder, and I see his face come into my view.
He had knelt down infront of me and held my shoulder to make sure i wasn’t going to look away.
“Dont cry sweetheart, you’re too pretty to cry” he says in a whisper, wiping my damp cheeks and tucking my hair behind my ears.
I look into his eyes and sniffle, my nose red and my eyes full of water.
“Hey Matt” i say, giving him a lighthearted smile. “Look-… I don’t want you to waste your time on me okay? Just go and have fun”
He shakes his head and pulls me into a hug, kissing the top of my head.
“I wouldn’t be wasting my time on you if I tried! You’re my best friend y/n” he says. I know that it was supposed to make me feel better but it made me feel even more shitty.
“I don’t wanna be your friend matt.” I whisper, avoiding eye contact.
He drops his hand from my face and looks at me in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes showing some shock
“What?” Matt asked, seeing my eyes avoiding his gaze.
“You know Matt… don’t play stupid, please?” I insist, standing up and leaning on the rail of the balcony.
He stays frozen in his place, but I can tell everything started to fall into place, he realises my feelings.
“Y/n-… no. Surely not, right? You dont like me” he laughs like it’s a joke, shaking his head again and pulling me to look at him
“Im sorry” i whisper, knowing that no answer i give him will suffice
He looks at me, an unrecognised emotion in his eyes, and scoffs
“Wow. Are you fucking serious? You couldn’t tell me? Y/n, we’ve been friends for years!” He says, his voice gradually getting louder
“I don’t want to be fucking friends matt! Dont you get that? I have tried to hint and hint to you, give you that little bit of information about what I’m actually feeling. You just shut me down!” I snap, frustration filling my veins.
He ignored the signs I gave him and now he’s angry at me for him not noticing?
“Well if you would have made them clearer then you would have known!” He screams back at me
“Known what?”
“Im in love with you!” He admits, coming close to me and catching his breath
When i don’t answer, he pulls me into a kiss. Love, sadness, joy, anxiety, all emotions that he feels, he puts it into this kiss.
When we pull away, we’re breathing heavier then we were after the screaming competition. I sigh and rest my forehead against his.
“I love you” is all my reply is, looking at him through my lashes
_
(Keerah speaks!)
This is so shit and short, don’t judge me.
I just wanted my first real post to be over and done with! Please leave suggestions on how to make things better and what you want me to do next🎀
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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 26 days ago
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ok you made good points for the most part but something in your helluva post confuses me: how in the world has stolas been "sexually abusing octavia the entire series"?
going off of the definition of sexual abuse (rape, assault, trafficking, molestation, coercion, etc.) i cannot think of anything that even remotely points to evidence of that.
surely, SURELY you aren't claiming that just because he said something sexual on the phone in front of her? not even TO her or ABOUT her? that's a misstep for sure, but going so far as to call that sexual abuse is... just not correct.
maybe if he did it on purpose or specifically because she was around, but to me it reads like he forgot she was there and got caught up in the phone conversation. there's no evidence that it happened more than once either, so "the whole series" is a biiig stretch.
i REALLY hope that specific moment isn't what you mean, because that's the kind of claim that really softens the meaning of the term... but i really can't think of anything else that even suggests it.
I feel like theres definitely a way to say "Hey! We seem to disagree on this interpretation of this show! I have no fucking idea where you are coming from, can you explain?" Without turning it into a...definition....of rape.......to the rape victim........and also accusing said rape victim of "softening" language?? Would the term sexual harassment be better?? I personally think it's arbitrary to say "thats not technically sexual abuse, its just weird, stop calling it that" when it's something sexual.....that hurts someone?? Idk its semantics.
So anyway ignoring the vibes you brought to the table, I was talking to my irl friend about Helluva, back when the stolitz shit was happening. And I was complaining because of how CLEAR the abuse in that dynamic is to me. And he was like "I think cuz of your trauma that you're reading into it too much and taking it too seriously." And I was like "IF VIV WANTS POINTS FOR DOING SA REP, THEN IM GONNA TAKE EVERYTHING SUPER SERIOUSLY"
The difference between us is that I was sexually abused, and trafficked(not sex trafficked but still) so when I watch this show, I IMMEDIATELY pick up on things happening there. While he doesn't because he's """normal"""" and not traumatized, so he just sees fun dick joke show about dick and balls. I think a lot of this fandom is a mix of both. People like me picking up on signs, and other people who just are here for jokes and don't necessarily notice all the really bad shit because thats not exactly their lived experience. Completely understandable, I don't hold it against anyone for not noticing it the way I do. But I do see it, and wanna bitch about it.
We're in hell. This show is set in the actual human bible hell damnation hell for hell people. I think there's a way to read some characters as "uwu babies", but I'm not gonna. It's hell. In hell. I'm going to be giving no one the benefit of the doubt, and assume the worst in people until proven otherwise. Especially when the characters in question are dickbags who never actually change.
What Stolas is doing is...sexual harassment? Is that better??? Stolas is openly engaging in pretty intense kinkplay around his daughter and that is in fact, Bad.
(its also entirety possible Octavia knows that this dynamic is sexually violent and is forced to listen to her dad want to rape a guy, and no dont come telling me thats wrong too, fuck off.)
And as someone who's been through the exact same kind of trauma as Octavia, I can say it definitely fucked me up✨ The only thing I'll give Stolas is that it doesn't seem like he's been doing this around her since she was a small child like I was, but its still bad. That's still inappropriate behavior, that's still something he should know to stop immediately when he sees she's around. Octavia is a depressed, struggling teenager who needs love and support while dealing with this sudden divorce. Stolas spends EVERY episode that is supposed to be about them, either tryna fuck Blitz in front of her, or ignoring her to interact with Blitz and or yell at Stella.
Stolas' problem as a character(not a bad thing, this should be a story/character arc) is that he's deeply entitled, and doesn't see how is actions effect others. Stolas is upset that he was forced into marriage? Wow, isn't Stella such a bitch for doing that too him? No empathy for the woman also being raped and abused through this forced marriage. Stolas is gay and wants to fuck? Let's not think about the class difference, and that he's literally holding Blitz' survival in his hands in exchange for cock. Stolas wants the sexual experiences he was robbed of because of his trauma? Who cares if it destroys his family and makes his daughter feel worthless, he wants to sext. His arc should be about facing the fact that he's abusive, and hurtful. He is hurting Blitz, and Octavia with his sexual behavior. But if he was supposed to be a "good" character with "good intentions", then he should have no problem apologizing and ACTUALLY changing. Stolas doesn't seem upset that they're upset, he's upset he got "caught". He's upset Blitz demands respect and doesn't suck his dick the second he shows any remorse. He's upset that he can't fight Stella and fuck all he wants and instead has to deal with his moody teenager ACTUALLY needing attention and support. My comment about "the entire series" is because the only things we see are the bad parts of their relationship with no development, even if its only a few episodes.
Also since we're playing the virtue game, saying "but he didn't do it on purpose" is actual victim blaming and rapist apologist behavior so like, good job?? Saying rape or sexual abuse isn't as big of a deal just because it was an accident, or unintentional is definitely a take to have. Now, I'd say this is a stupid furry series that doesn't matter in the long run, but you're the one whining about language??
Anyway. Hazbin/Helluva are poorly made shows that annoy me. Pls stop fucking with people about shit like "softening" language and all that "real victims" and all that purity culture savior complex bullshit. Its super weird. Rambling times over, its like 5am im going back to sleep. Also I'm proship, this is media analysis not a moral thing except for the part where I was fucked with over language.
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glitterybombshell · 30 days ago
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omg thank you for being another sensible fan in the drew fandom. that one girl who continues to hate on drew and odessa’s relationship drives me insane because she treats drew like he’s this angel 😭 THAT IS A GROWN MAN! we do not know these people, and tid bits from photos or 5 second clips doesn’t mean SHITTTT. honestly, if drew’s happy i’m happy. along with that BS thread of odessa being problematic (i know my whole ask makes me seem like i’m some die hard odessa fan, im not, simply just ranting tbh) yet there being no proof of the claims is insane. i truly don’t think odessa is inherently a bad person. one thing about this fandom that has been made very clear is that they don’t actually hate odessa for the “problematic” things she’s done, but they hate her because she has some kind of relationship with drew (whatever it is) and that drew cares about her. i miss 2021 when all these weirdos weren’t in the fandom 😭 anyways i could probably go on and on but i forgot what else i was gonna say but anyways 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️
Thank you anon!🫶
Here’s my opinion (no hate to anyone but it may come off as harsh)
Honestly, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt cos people were telling her to kill herself and things like that which totally isn’t okay. And I admit in the beginning when she made a post about drew and Odessa she made a comment about Drew’s skinny legs yada yada and I rlly did find it funny.
And honestly I don’t really care for Odessa but I don’t full on HATE her. If we’re talking about the same girl I’m sure she had a link directing to reasons why she doesn’t like Odessa? To me I see it as them trying to compensate with a whole bunch of unsubstantial “reasons” so they don’t seem like bad people for hating on 20 something year old girl.
Btw lemme expand, What I mean by unsubstantial is that there was one like “she uses people” things like that are NOT substantial. Something isn’t an actual reason if it’s your opinion.😭
Honestly people are just going crazy cos it’s this hot man and he has a sex life. Wow! What a shocker! I thought he was a virgin!
Eh but don’t get me wrong she seems pretty sweet aside from her recent posts and she told me I could block her and so I thought about it for a while and I rlly did try to be nice about it because I’m just that type of person but I feel like I shouldn’t rlly be mutuals with someone when we barely have common ground.
So I did what she suggested—and blocked her.
I just don’t like the fact some drew fans treat him like his their baby. That is a 31 y/o man paying taxes sweetheart.
On that note Drew is a grown man. He can fuck whoever he wants and he can go to orgys if he wants to. For all I care he could have sex with Odessa in the middle of the road. Maybe it’s icky but that’s your opinion and she’s able to voice her opinions but it gets to a point where it becomes straight up hate content rather than opinions.
And I mean heavy on what I’m about to say rn:
Just because someone is in the eye of the public does not mean that they need to appeal to the eye public.
Everyone has their bad sides and everyone has their good!! Celebrities can try to act perfect but they lead normal lives like the rest of us.
And I’m trying not to be mean but I do agree with you anon 😭😭
Dw tho, I find jokes funny even the rude ones but straight up negativity being spread and dedicating your whole account to hate someone you claim to love is terrible to me.
At the end of the day. She’s entitled to her own opinion and mine is that Drew could post himself pissin’ on a bitch and id still think his so hot daddy🙌
C’mon guys let’s be better!
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fruitybashir · 6 months ago
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hey hello 👋🏻 i'm sorry im very shy but i'm a huge fan of the holidate and dopamin (closer) was so fantastic and super hot and i was blushing the entire way through, i've reread it maybe five times by now, i'm sorry if that's weird 🫣
if you don't mind me asking, i'm curious about something? in the holidate and in dopamin, there's obvious hints at some of their kinks or preferences in bed (hair pulling, praise....) and i'm just wondering......can you say more about what kinks they're both into? what you envisioned for them? is there more we don't know about yet? i'm a bit embarassed to ask but i'm so curious
either way, i'm a big fan and i can't wait to see what you post next and have a nice day/night bye bye 💌💕
omg hiiiii <3333 dont be embarassed omg i loveeee when people tell me they reread my stuff, thats how i know it actually was good!!! 🫶🏻💖💖💖
and sure i can talk about it! its nothing super exciting tbh but i do have a certain set of kinks/preferences/likes whatever you wanna call it for each of them, im gonna put it under the cut as per usual in case it gets long.
edit yeah this is getting super long. sorry. dont ask me to yap, i will not stop.
starting with kris:
the very obvious: hair pulling. i think that was made pretty clear lmao. in a non-sexual context he looooves having his hair played with, someone just running their fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the scalp, playing with a strand or two, anything at all gives him very pleasant tingles and practically makes him putty in your hands. find that spot behind his ear like bojan did and his brain shuts off, you have now successfully tamed your kris, congrats.
in a sexual context that translates to him loving having his hair pulled, its a combination of him liking having his hair played with + liking a certain level of pain. and the combo of that really gets him off. obviously.
pain for kris is like. hes into some level of pain, like the hair pulling and he also likes biting sometimes. in dopamin thats bojan biting his butt, but i imagine sometimes when bojan takes his time exploring kris' body, he takes a bite here or there, kris' neck, the sides of his stomach, the inside of his thighs .. stuff like that and kris is also really into it then.
hes not into any bigger levels of pain other than that like he wouldnt like stuff like spanking etc although thats a combination of not liking that type of pain and not liking being in a submissive position
next point: he doesnt like being submissive. its both just a preference thing plus not liking loss of control. he loves being the one to order the other part around and be the one to kiiind of have the upper hand. im saying that a bit vaguely bc he also isnt really a dom, he wouldnt like a very strong dominant role, he just likes calling the shots and being in control of the situation. idk how to put it. ill come back to this later
hes freshly discovering that hes into feminization, as you can probably tell from that last upload lmao, and he likes it both in a non-sexual and in a sexual context. he likes feminine words of affection, being called pretty, likes thinking about how in certain perspectives and moments people might mistake him for a girl, and he could have shopped online for lingerie thats specifically made for men, and buy panties that actually had some space in the front, but he deliberately chose not to do that, he wanted it to be girls underwear. that was important.
holidate kris is definitely not fully cis, but also not really trans either i think, idk what to call it but yeah. he might be a little trans, hes having some thoughts and feelings and maybe ill let him explore that properly one day but basically he doesnt really know what to make of it yet or how to categorise it, but he knows he likes himself exactly the way he is and doesnt want to change anything. he also likes getting called girl-ish things and thinking about how people might mistake him for a girl sometimes. idk
other preferences uhhh he really likes sucking dick lmao, like he genuinely enjoys going down on bojan and it gets him all worked up as well. he just figured out he loves getting eaten out. he doesnt like bottoming and he also doesnt like getting fingered all that much. and the thing with that is that he likes having things in his ass, but he doesnt like the uhhh motion of it? having a dick in his ass is fine, having that dick thrust into him is a big no no. the lucky thing with bojan is that he has really short fingers so when hes fingering kris, hes focussing on kris's prostate and doesnt move around all that much so that is still something kris enjoys. on occasion. he also generally doesnt like coming more than once, bc he tends to be very sensitive after his first orgasm and the second one is often very overhelming and too much
moving on to bojan:
also fairly obvious: likes being manhandled, likes being told what to do, big on getting praised. he also loves servicing and making kris feel good, it genuinely gets him off when he can just worship kris a little.
bojan loves both receiving and giving oral but he really loves bottoming and coming on kris' fingers. he loves getting a little overstimulated like getting teased for a long time before getting any proper attention so by the time kris finally goes down on him or fucks him, bojan is already shaking with it and desperate. or in the way like in dopamin, literally not being able to fully calm down in between orgasms and still being super sensitive from the first one.
i think the praise thing is pretty self explanatory, he really loves getting praised for doing a good job when he follows kris' instructions, loves being called a good boy, loves when kris keeps telling him how good hes being in general, its a major thing for him
he loves getting fucked classic missionary or riding kris, they tried doggy once but he didnt like not being able to see kris and touch him. he loves watching kris' face when he comes and also before that, he just loves fucking face to face.
also he would love for kris to make real on his promise of fucking his tits, neither of them knows how that would work but bojan is heavily into the idea of it
as for both of them:
ive said it in dms earlier but basically like. theyre both still kind of vanilla with their kinks? like there is a dom/sub dynamic there but its a very mild one kinda.
like how in dopamin kris tells bojan hes gonna make him come on his fingers and then give him no break after, but later he still does give him a break and checks with bojan if hes still okay with it, if its too much etc. or how he keeps telling bojan to use his words, but always forgives him when bojan cant use his words or is too embarrassed to say what kris wants him to say. like theres never any real consequences.
and thats the thing with them: they are so in tune with each other and have a level of trust for each other that they never had with previous partners. bojan likes being bossed around but he wouldnt like if anyone was actually mean to him, hes not into humiliation or being actually punished for something.
kris knows when he says it that its all empty threats and he would never give bojan any real consequences, and bojan knows this as well, but he would also never intentionally misbehave bc he likes following commands.
they work so well together like that bc theyre both fully aware of what they and the other wants out of it, they know the others wishes and boundaries and limits etc, like there is just a level of trust and understanding between them like no other.
also theyre super in love. did i mention that. does that come across. thats not a kink thing but theyre just super mega in love and thats so important to me.
uhhhh i think thats basically all there is to them kink wise ✌🏼 sorry this got so long, oopsie
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faiseuse-d-histoires · 8 months ago
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Well, you saying you dont know the answer of what should happened to Pen tells me more than anything. What she did it wasnt that badN it wasnt that important. Really, marina like went really well, eloise have the pretty never bad bridgertons and all the money and beauty and the protection of her brother ( unlike Colin Who is hate by him) . Are you telling you are naking that problem for a silly beast comment?? Im sure you had call poor fst girl worst in school and here you are. You just hate her for the sake of it. Thats the truth, if your dislike was genuine for her actions you would knlw the answer. Just what i thought. Another buller. And please dont lie, you didnt like Pen from books either. For Kate and Anthony you base their personalities with the ones in the books ( she is nit a family person in the show) but for Pen you dont think of that cute girls in the book and críticamente the writer like you did with KA, you blame Pen, the wallflower
Just because the consequences are any less dire because others persons intervened doesn't erase that what show Penelope wrote was actually ruinous and malicious and could have been disastrous. It's actually quite sad that in need to defend her, you have to dismiss others' suffering, and banalize what she writes, what she makes money of.
One laughable thing is that you don't actually seem to have grasped that I was being sarcastic while saying "oh, I don't know". Had you read the entire post, you would have had your answer. What should happen to her? Well, show Penelope should learn that her words have consequences, can hurt people, ostracize them, ruin them. She should learn that she could have made Marina ostracized by her words, prompting the girl to dangerous options, just because she did not want her crush to marry her, and that it is not ok (and it even backfired on her, because by association, there was that disgrace on her family that prompted Eloise to seek LW to do something about it). She should learn that calling someone a beast, especially a WOC, certainly for comic relief, or even insulting anyone like that is not ok. That antagonizing the queen was never a good idea in the first place. She should learn that she cannot criticize one for not doing something when she actually made sure that person was stopped from actually doing anything about it, else it is very hypocritical. That by unravelling everyone's dirty laundry and even twisting things at her convenience, of course it can have dire consequences and she is responsible for it.
This season had people dismissing the consequences of her actions and praising her. That should not be the case. It is at least realistic to think at least some will just give her hell for it, and some families refuse to invite her.
That doesn't mean she can't make amends. That she deserves to be unloved and alone for the rest of her life, or to be bullied. Just that she should aspire to be a better person (she certainly could have the power to inspire more reflection about social classes, the status of women, etc), and not one that thrives on others'misery while still maintaining a holier-than-thou attitude. I certainly cannot root for that last kind of person.
You keep bringing up the body, the wallflower parts. You keep patting yourself in the shoulder, telling yourself you are right. At this point, it seems you are making your own story and do not read at all what I actually said. I can see clearly you need to vent and have your enemy (any unresolved issues, perhaps), and anyone would do, and perhaps it must feel very satisfying to throw hateful words while being anonymous, for you do so on and on (I will certainly not read the others that are rotting in my inbox, and that will find their place in the bin). It is still very much a coward and a bully's move.
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