#anyway dear elli if you see this then I hope you like it

[thisbitchcantdraw]

Genuinely tweaking because it’s 4 in the morning rn and I’ve been drawing this all day, literally the second I was free I was drawing.

AND IT TOOK ME 6 HOURS WHATTT

So as some of you know I’m a big fan of a FanFiction made by @theellipelli and it’s epic and great and it’s yanqing and Jing yuan and time travel and family issues GO READ IT IM GREAT AT PROMOTING THIS HAHAH.

So like… I didn’t read the new chapter and I’m scared to do so BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN TW DEATH??? STOP.. I better not cry

Anyway so I had the idea on what the idea was but I didn’t know how to make it right so I ended up with this, here’s the starter sketch with colour

Now MEGA TRANSFORM RENDER BOOM WOW heheh thank you thank you👏👏👏👏

If you can’t tell Baiheng is drunk and in my head she should be kept at least 5 miles away from any person when she’s drunk

Jinglius hand looks weird but look at yanqing he looks great #neverdoingmysondirty

The atrocious hand grip on yanqing head I head to learn how to draw hand can someone teach me

Ik it’s really hard to tell what’s going on with df and yingxing but I wanted to fit all the quintet in (they are just whispering to each other which is pretty much “bro can we please leave” “nah”) Df is so circle I’m sorry idk what happened I’m tweaking again

Sorry that jy, yq and baiheng look so much better than everyone else that’s the difference between start vs finish

And if anyone is out there “6 hours for that?? Man you got to be joking” well Uhm actually I’m a very slow artist

I think I spent the smallest time on yingxing

But I think I spent at least like an hour on the sketch sigh can I get a pat on the back

ALSO DRAWING THEM WAS SO HARD BECAUSE OF THE SMALL AMOUNT OF REFERENCES I HAD..

I wanted to do cloud night Jing yuan but the design was different from the fic one so I had to live of that one art the author of the fanfic did (go check out her tumblr tagged her above she’s great support her on every platform possible or you’ll die)

Anyway ik not a lot of people are reading this but I would like to thank art Jesus, art God and Beyoncé for giving me the motivation to finish this in one day

Uhm that’s the end make sure to support the author love you all bye,!

Scared to post this second thoughts are gonna be the end of me

[familyvideostevie]

it's your turn for choosing

this was born out of a prompt request from my dear, dear, @softlyspector. this is for you, becca!

getting asked out via a smudgy scribble on a coffee cup | valentine's day prompts

joel miller x reader

summary/warnings: joel stops by your coffee shack every day. it's not your fault you're a little in love with him because of it. | modern au, fluff, flirting, jesse and cat and ellie cameos, game!joel in my head. i have not been a barista so sorry to all baristas if this reads wildly off-base. | 5.6k

a/n: it's giving rom-com! happy valentine's day. a bit different from my usual fare but hopefully it makes your heart warm. love u. thank u always to @macfrog and @bageldaddy for your eyes.

___

7:32 am. It’s helpful in this line of work to know exactly when you’re fucked. 

The espresso machine has been on the fritz all week and despite how much you want your current method of fixing it to work – banging a fist on the top until it stops wheezing – all signs point to today being a very bad day indeed. 

You’ve only been open for two hours. 

Here for three, awake for four. God, you’re tired.

Anyway – you’re fucked. And there’s nothing you can do about it. 

You call the time of death on the machine and search for something you can write on.

The Zone – a stupid name, but you can’t be bothered to change the sign that came with the place – is a coffee shop that sits between towns. 

Your coffee shop. 

It's more shack than shop, not really a zone of anything, just an order window and a five-drink menu. It's the kind of place that appears like a mirage for tourists right before they get on the highway at an ungodly hour and serves as a quick stop for everyone else. You open earlier than any other place around to get the truckers and the farmers and close when you stop being able to keep your eyes open.

The faded brown clapboard building is no bigger than an RV. The paint is chipped and the roof is a too-bright shade of green and you serve your drinks and the occasional sweet treat when you can get a good deal off of the baker two towns over through a window. It’s not a fancy chain, it’s not a drive-thru. You’ve got a bathroom and a few rickety cafe tables and chairs and no fucking common sense since you like it. 

You even love it, some days.

And the craziest part is that it works. Even on mornings like this one, when your espresso machine breaks during the lull between rushes and your part-time help calls in sick and you’ve spilled coffee all over your apron twice – it works. 

You tear off the lip of a cardboard box and write in big block letters: NO ESPRESSO TODAY. Maybe Tess, the baker, knows someone who can fix it. She knows everyone.

“Fuck you, you piece of junk,” you say. You give the machine another smack for good measure. 

Someone clears their throat and you whirl around, makeshift sign in hand. 

You’ve been doing this long enough that a handsome customer doesn’t phase you, but the man standing at your order window makes your stomach swoop for just a second.

“Morning,” you say, summoning your smile. “Hold on a sec, let me just –”

You lean out the window and wedge the piece of cardboard against the napkin holder on the ledge.

The man’s gaze drops to read. You take the opportunity to look at him. 

He’s tall and broad – if you had to guess, you’d say he works on one of the farms around here. He’s tan, dark hair threaded through with grey. His arms are crossed and you wish he wasn’t wearing a jacket so you could see his forearms. His denim shirt is undone at the top and you fixate on the chorded column of his throat, on the teasing glimpse of chest hair underneath.

The guy looks tired. 

Bone-tired, the kind of exhaustion you see when you look in the mirror. It comes from hundreds of early mornings and late nights, from hours on your feet and plenty of worry. He’s got lines at the corners of his eyes and a few around his mouth and you find yourself hoping they’re from laughter. 

“No espresso,” he reads, slow and unhurried. His drawl fits in with most of the folks around here, but you’re sure you haven’t seen him before. You’d remember. 

“Hope that doesn't scare you off,” you say. “Still got everything else.”

“Everything else being…” He glances at the chalkboard that serves as your menu.

DRIP COFFEE. LATTE. CAPPUCCINO. TEA. HOT CHOCOLATE. All written in your blocky hand in white paint. 

“Three options.”

Trial and error have taught you that simple works best. You’ll make anything people ask for, so long as you know how and have the supplies, and if they’re nice about it you won’t charge too much extra.

“Can I get you one of those three options?”

You’re not trying to rush him, but the next wave of people is bound to show up any minute.

“Black coffee will do,” he says. His mouth tugs up at the corner into a smirk that makes your face feel hot. “If you have that.”

“Thank you for taking pity on me,” you say, going for teasing and missing the mark by a mile. You just sound tired and genuine. “You just made my morning.”

He looks amused and you turn from him, unable to hide your grin. You pour a steaming cup and snap the lid on.

“Pretty shit morning if this is makin’ it,” he drawls.

You hand him the cup and your fingers brush. 

“You have no idea.”

He eyes the sign again and then your stained apron. “I got some notion.” He tugs his wallet from his back pocket and pulls out a $5 bill. “Keep the change,” he says.

You want to refuse, to thank him, but a few more cars pull up and Mr. Black Coffee just raises his cup to you and heads back to his truck.

Well, shit. You hope he comes back. A tipper like that, and hot? You sure wouldn’t mind if he became a regular customer. __

You call Tess that afternoon and she does know a guy, so the espresso machine gets fixed and things go back to normal. Your part-time help returns in the morning and nothing else breaks. 

Today is uncharacteristically warm for the season. The inside of The Zone is almost stifling, always at least 15 degrees warmer than outside, and you keep wiping your sweaty hands on your apron as you make espresso after espresso for the lunch crowd.

Cat, a spunky girl who likes to practice her latte art when it’s slow, takes orders at the register. You keep half of your attention on her and half on the four drinks you’re working on. 

“Black coffee, please,” someone says to her. Someone whose voice you recognize. 

“Can I get a name for that?” Cat asks. It’s busy enough that calling names is easier than calling orders, no matter how small your menu is.

“Joel,” he says. You let the milk steam on its own and pour the black coffee before Cat can do it.

“I’ve got it,” you tell her. “Can you finish up those drinks?”

She shrugs and you swap places. You know you’re sweaty and coffee-stained but you smile at him and hand over his coffee.

“Hot coffee on a day like this?” you tease. He – Joel – is sweaty, too. The collar of his work shirt is dark with sweat and his hair is a mess. He must be here on his lunch break. He takes the cup from you and slurps a long sip as a reply to your question. 

You laugh. Joel looks pleased. 

“Operatin’ a full menu, I see,” he says, pulling out another $5. “Glad you got it fixed.”

“It’s still a piece of junk,” you shrug. “Just don’t tell anyone I said that.”

He waves off your offer of change and raises his cup at you, taking a few steps backward towards his truck.

“Thank you,” he says. He eyes the tag on your chest and tacks your name on at the end. It sounds good from his mouth.

“Bye, Joel,” you say. His lips twitch but you barely have time to think about it before you have to take the next few orders. 

The line dies down and you step away from the register to help Cat with some cappuccinos – your least favorite drink by far due to all the damn foam they require – and she eyes you.

“Dude,” Cat says. “What the hell was that?”

If it wasn’t already a billion degrees in here you know your face would feel hot. 

“What the hell was what?”

She can’t reply for a few seconds while you grind beans for some espresso.

“I didn’t even know you knew how to flirt,” she muses, tapping a frother full of milk a few times. “That was pretty bad flirting if you ask me –”

You turn the grinder on again to drown her out.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you yell. She rolls her eyes at you until you turn off the machine.

You tamp down the grounds and slot them into the machine.

“I mean, not my type at all, for like, so many reasons,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “Way too old for me, for one. Man, for another. But I see the appeal, I guess. Seems like he likes you. And was that a five-dollar bill? Black coffee is two bucks, last time I checked –”

“Can we get back to steaming milk, please?” you snap, more embarrassed than mad. “I am not taking flirting advice from a teenager.”

“I’m twenty!” she sputters. “Wait, so you admit that you like him?”

“Milk.”

Cat is right, though, and you know it. You just don’t see any harm in having a crush on some guy who comes to your coffee shop. Running this place means you see hundreds of people every day. You know their names, you ask them about their kids and their pets and their jobs, and you smile at them even on your bad days. It’s just part of the job. The daily interactions keep you afloat, make you feel more solid in your own life. People see you, they recognize you, they know you – even if it’s just because you make them coffee. 

Maybe Joel will keep coming back. Maybe he’ll become one of the regulars you know things about.

And if you have a crush on him? 

No harm done. He’s nice to look at.

And he tips well.

__

Joel stops by again. 

And again. 

And again.

He comes in every morning – sometimes at lunch – and orders the same thing. You learn the rumble of his truck by ear alone, the crunch of his boots on the gravel. Sometimes people in line say hi to him and a smile works its way onto your face on instinct when his voice reaches your ear. It’s never slow enough to have a proper conversation but he smiles at you, tells you he likes the flowers, your new apron. 

All of it is flirting but maybe not flirting. 

Maybe he’s just being polite.

Also, he keeps overpaying. 

One day, almost a month since you first saw him, he doesn’t come in the morning.  When you don’t see him in line at lunch, either, you’re a little disappointed. The weather is perfect – not too hot, not too cold, the sun shining – and you want to see him in the sunlight.

The day crowd is long gone and you’re only an hour or two from closing when his truck pulls up.

“I was getting worried,” you call as he walks over. Usually, he’s got some kind of dust or paint or something on them – Joel is a contractor, you’ve learned through your brief encounters, not a farmer – but today his clothes are clean and un-ripped. 

“I’m honored,” he says. 

You have his cup ready by the time he reaches the window. 

“I’m just surprised you can get through the day without a cup of coffee.”

He snorts and hands you his cash. 

“I can’t,” he says. “Had shitty home brew this morning.”

He takes a sip of your coffee and sighs. Your heart picks up and you don’t hide your grin.

“What’s with the schedule change?” you ask. 

He smirks. “Miss me?” 

You scoff and cross your arms. Heat rises in your chest and you feel almost giddy. 

“Just curious,” you say. “Don’t let it go to your head, but you’re my favorite customer.”

Joel laughs and scratches the back of his neck. 

“Reckon that’s the tip.”

“Actually, ordering a cup of black coffee is the way to any barista’s heart.”

Joel’s eyebrows climb up his forehead. 

“Ah,” he says. He takes another sip, his eyes dancing with mirth. “‘Course.”

“Nah,” you say with a teasing smile. “I’d never be so shallow.”

There’s no line behind him but you expect him to go back to his truck, anyway. But here he is. Talking to you.

You grab a rag and wipe down the counter to keep your hands busy. 

“I’m, uh. Meetin’ one of my kids here,” Joel says. The sudden shyness that accompanies his admission is a surprise. 

Your eyes dart to his hand but you see no ring, nor the pale shadow of one. 

“Both of ‘em moved to the city recently. Ellie – she’s comin’ up for the night.”

“I’ll bet you miss them,” you offer. You’re not sure why he’d want to bring his daughter to your coffee shack, but you’re not complaining.

Joel smiles at you. It’s a sad smile but still a good one. The affection in his eyes is raw. 

“Sure do,” he says. He tucks one hand in his pocket and takes another sip of his coffee. “But it’s good for them. Sarah – she’s a little older – is in school and Ellie is workin’ on her music and whatever else she’s into these days.” The pride in his voice is clear. 

“Well, I’m honored you want to bring her here.” You gesture to your slightly sad sitting area and the empty lot behind him. 

Joel looks ready to argue with you when a faded, older version of his truck pulls up. Music leaks from the open windows and the driver bops her head to the beat a few times before shutting it off and hoping out, thumbs flying on the screen of her phone. 

“That’ll be her,” he says drily. “Hey, kiddo.”

Ellie looks up from her hands, tucks her phone in her back pocket, and grins at Joel.

She doesn’t look a thing like him, but the connection is obvious. She moves like him, her shoulders set like she’s ready for a challenge at any moment. Joel sets his coffee down at the window and meets her halfway for a hug.

You look away and busy yourself with restocking whatever you can get your hands on.

“Dude, you come here every day?” Ellie asks. “Joel, this is so far from –”

Joel talks over her.

“Drive go okay? Sarah said they’re doin’ shit on the 35 –”

Ellie huffs.

“Yeah, yeah, some traffic getting out of the city ‘cause of the fucking lane closure, but otherwise fine.”

“Good.”

You turn to face them, a genuine smile firmly in place. 

“Hi,” you say. Joel picks up his coffee again, which Ellie eyes with a scowl. You introduce yourself to her. “You’re Ellie, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

Ellie frowns. Behind her, Joel’s mouth twitches but he says nothing. It’s a lie, obviously, but something tells you he doesn’t mind and she believes it.

“Really?” She throws him a glare and then rolls her eyes. “You gotta stop telling strangers about me, man.”

“Someone’s gotta warn ‘em,” he says. 

She laughs. “Hey, fuck you!”

“Only good stuff,” you say. You like her. “Joel says you’re working on your music?”

Ellie’s eyes light up. “Oh, yeah,” she says. “I’ve got an audition next week.” She turns to Joel. “I brought my guitar ‘cause I have a fuck ton of songs to play for you.”

He puts a hand on her shoulder and she settles a little.

“I bet they’re real good.”

Ellie flushes and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well. You have to hear them first.”

You feel a little off-balance again, like you’re on the fringes of something you shouldn’t be seeing. The love on Joel’s face is clear as day. 

“Do you want some coffee?” you ask her.

Joel winces. Ellie gags. 

“No offense,” she starts, eyes darting between you and Joel. “I know Joel is fifty percent coffee on a good day, but it’s not my thing.” She looks at the menu and narrows her eyes. “I had a mocha the other day and didn’t hate it. Do you make those?”

“Look at that,” Joel says. “You’re convertin’.”

“Am not,” Ellie says. “It’s got chocolate in it, dude. No shit, I like it.”

“Yeah, give me a few minutes,” you laugh. “I’ll put lots of chocolate in it.”

They sit at one of your tables and you hear their laughter in the background as you make her drink.

It’s strange to see Joel like this – to build up on the man you’ve imagined him to be in your mind. Father never occurred to you. It makes sense, though, like a missing piece of him slotted into place. But it also makes the crush feel a little more real. Now that he’s more than your favorite regular customer. Now that you know a piece of him, of who he really is. 

It makes you want to know more.

You finish her drink and call Ellie’s name. They both stand and Joel digs in his wallet again.

“Don’t you dare pay me, Joel,” you say. You direct your next words at Ellie. “Really. I’m just honored you stopped by.”

She eyes Joel and he eyes her right back with the same look. She must have learned it from him.

“Yeah,” she says. “Me too.” She grins at you with all of her teeth. “Joel loves this place. Talks about it all the time.”

She takes a sip of her mocha and her eyes go wide.

“Wait, this is fucking good. Man, I see why you drive –”

Joel clears his throat.

“We’re off,” he says. “Thank you, as always.” He sounds softer than usual as if being nice to his daughter is the best thing you could do for him.

You suppose it is.

“You’re welcome, as always.” 

Ellie knocks her shoulder with Joel’s as they head back to their trucks. She must be whispering something to him because he swats her away with a groan and she cackles. 

They both wave at you as they drive away. 

__

Joel keeps coming in the mornings, and your conversations return to their fleeting cadence. Even so, it’s hard to deny that your crush on him has kicked into high gear.

You try not to let your gaze linger on his lips, on his throat. On his hands when he takes the cup from you, how your skin brushes and it makes you warm all over. You think about how he laughed, how relaxed he was around Ellie. You want to know what he’s like outside of your small daily interaction. You want to know what he eats for dinner, how he spends his weekends, what he listens to on the radio.

You want him.

Business is busy, which helps. A kid from a few towns over – Jesse, he’s called – signs on to work part-time, mostly for the second half of the day. He’s been a barista before so the training is minimal, but it still changes the flow of things. He’s a charming guy and the regulars take to him easy enough.

It’s you who is distracted. 

One morning, Joel comes in as expected. Jesse is working, too, trying to clock some extra hours this week.

Joel is on the phone in line, his attention somewhere else. He’s frowning, a deep crease between his brows as he waits in line. All it would take to smooth it away is the press of your thumb. 

You try not to stare and probably fail, but manage to take and make the orders ahead of him without making any mistakes, though your whole body feels alight.

He hangs up right as he gets to the window and sighs, giving you a tired smile.

“Howdy,” he says. You set his coffee down in front of him and he pulls out a ten-dollar bill instead of a five.

“Joel –” you say, but he interrupts you.

“My brother called and said he needs breakfast,” Joel grumbles. “Y’got any of Tess’s bear claws?”

Right, they work together, you remember. He’s mentioned Tommy in passing. 

“I think so, just hold on a sec.”

“Take your time,” Joel says. It sounds like he means it, even though there’s a line behind him and he probably needs to get to work. 

You do find a few bear claws in the box Tess gave you early this morning when you stopped by the bakery.

“You’re in luck,” you say, putting it in a paper bag. “Well, Tommy is.”

“Savin’ my ass,” he tells you when you hand it to him. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

The word sends a jolt of lightning through your whole body. He doesn’t even seem to realize he’s said it but your world shifts slightly on its axis. Sweetheart.

He turns on his heel before you can give him change for his cash, his phone ringing.

“Jesus, Tommy, I said I’d –”

You let him fade into the distance and smile at your next customer.

“How can I help you?”

A few orders later you end up next to Jesse making some lattes.

“Was that Joel Miller?” Jesse asks. “Before. The guy with the black coffee and bear claw?”

You startle. “Um. It was. How do you –”

“I didn’t know he was a customer here,” Jesse says. “Does he come in a lot?”

You unpack a few more cinnamon buns that Tess gave you this morning. “Yeah, every day.”

“Damn,” he says. “He must really like your coffee.”

“Are you trying to say it’s bad coffee, Jesse?”

He huffs a laugh. “No, boss, ‘course not.” He grinds beans for a few seconds but continues once he’s done, steady hands tamping down the results. “I just know he lives like, a half-hour away. And that there are plenty of coffee shops there, too.”

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know him, Jesse?”

“His daughter, Ellie, is a friend of mine,” he shrugs. “Went over to their house plenty of times in high school.”

“Well. He’s a contractor, right? I bet he has a job out here.”

Jesse clips the espresso into the machine and starts on some milk. 

“I’m not saying he doesn’t,” he muses. “I am saying that it takes at least 30 minutes to get here from where he lives.”

It’s silly. You’re half-flattered, half-confused. Yeah, you like Joel, and yeah, you’re pretty sure you’ve been flirting every day for over a month. But you figure it’s convenient for him. Coffee and an ego boost all in one. 

But if he’s going out of his way to come to The Zone? Well, maybe it’s not just for the coffee.

“Your coffee is good,” Jesse stresses, seeing the gears in your mind turning. It looks like he’s trying to hide a grin. You need to stop hiring young people who have keen eyes and big mouths.

“I think the ice needs a refill,” you say, snapping back into focus. 

“He might be here for something else, too -”

“Go refill the ice.”

He throws up his hands with a smirk. “I’m going!”

__

7:24 am. You’re on your own again and you’re fucked. 

The espresso machine is working perfectly and the early rush has ended. The weather is beyond shitty. Rain falls in sheets and the sky is so dark it feels like the sun didn’t bother to rise. It pounds on the roof and blows in the window every time you open it. The awning does nothing to shield customers as they shout their orders over the wind at you. Your fingers are going numb and your front is damp enough to set your teeth chattering. 

Joel’s truck pulls up and – well. You’re fucked. And he’s why.

You’re fucked because you can’t stop thinking about him. You can’t stop thinking about what Jesse said. What Joel said. Sweetheart.

A harmless crush turned into something more intense, something heavy in your stomach. You want him earnestly, fully, with every piece of you. 

And you still barely know him. But you want to. 

Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the fact that you’re damp and cold and frustrated with your own heart and brain. But you see his truck and you decide to do something about this stupid crush.

You write your phone number on a cup with steady hands and set it aside for Joel. You scrawl on it as neatly as you can: Want to get a drink somewhere else sometime? 

It’s a bit of a coward’s way out. You should just ask him, say how you feel to his face. He’d probably like that better, anyway. But, well, this just feels safer. He could ignore it, he could throw it out, he could see it and decide to never come back. 

Sweetheart.

Somehow you don’t think he’ll do any of those.

The rain lashes against the window so hard you don’t open it until you see the lonely figure approach. The morning rush has been a morning trickle, a few brave souls venturing out for something from you.

Joel, it seems, is one.

You open the window and are greeted with a spray of mist.

“Gimme a sec,” you tell him. It’s so windy he leans in close to hear you. He’s wearing a jacket that’s ill-suited for the rain, his hair plastered to his forehead. Your fingers twitch with the need to brush it back. 

You quickly fill the cup you’ve set aside and pass it to him with two hands so it doesn’t blow over.

“Brave of you,” you say. He’s in the rain and you’re both getting soaked but you want to talk to him desperately. It’s a buzzing need at the front of your brain. “Thought the weather would get you, too.”

“Told you,” he all but yells over the wind with a flash of white teeth. “Shitty coffee at home.”

“Drive safe, Joel,” you tell him. He nods at you and jogs back to the truck, cup in hand. You won’t be able to see if he reads it from here, but you hope so. All you have to do is wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The rain stops.

You’re still waiting, phone silent.

Sunshine peeks through the clouds with a slightly surreal post-storm glow. A few more folks have made their way to The Zone but today has been slow. The clock ticks slowly towards 3 pm and your phone does not ring.

“Don’t be stupid,” you mutter. “He’s working.” 

You step out of the shack and into the slightly humid air, the gravel under your feet shifting wetly. The tables you’d set out this morning are, mercifully, still there, though they’re spattered with rain. You might as well close up now.

You’re bent over the last of the chairs, wiping them down with an old rag. You’re focused, so much so that you don’t pay much attention to the hum of an engine and the crunch of tires behind you.

A door slams but you don’t turn around.

“Sorry,” you call over your shoulder. “We just closed.”

“Shame,” he says. 

You whip around and find Joel, hands in his pockets. He’s in a different shirt than this morning and his jeans don’t look soaked. You’re still damp, water stains on your pants and shirt.

“Oh,” you breathe. “Hi, Joel.”

He smirks. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you outside of that window,” he says, before jutting his chin towards the tables. “Can I help?”

You’re very aware of your whole body all at once. He’s looking at you, drinking you in like you’re his morning cup of coffee.

“Uh, sure,” you say. You want to ask why he’s here but the words won’t come. “They go in there, in the little closet on the right.” You point to the open door to the shack.

He dips his chin low just once and then crosses the distance between you in three big strides. He grabs the chair closest to you. The t-shirt he’s wearing shows his arms and you feel what he’s just said – it’s weird to be in the same space like this. You’re outside but he feels so big.

Joel’s arms flex and you swallow, following him with another chair. He stacks his in the right place and holds a hand out for yours.

“What did you write on it?” he asks, casually. 

The words don’t totally register. “What?”

He doesn’t answer. His arms are crossed, brow furrowed. Your mouth goes dry.

“On my cup. This mornin’.” He keeps his gaze on yours and for some reason, you can’t look away.

“Oh – you, you didn’t see?” 

He shakes his head. “Was rainin’, remember? Got smudged before I got in my truck.”

“Right.” 

You tear yourself away and leave him standing there. Maybe you should just lie.

But then you think about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when you make him laugh, and how he asks you how you are and how he brought his daughter here and how he tips and how he drives all this way for your – for you.

Joel waits, his footsteps the only indication he’s followed you.

You turn around.

“I wrote my phone number,” you say. “And I asked you on a date.”

The corner of his mouth pulls up and you think he’s…blushing?

He rubs a hand over his beard and you hope he’s hiding a smile. Your heart is in your throat, beating so loud you worry that he can hear it. All of your bravado sinks into the damp ground at your feet. Maybe you’ve read this totally wrong. Maybe he’s just a nice guy, maybe your coffee is just really good and your employees are fucking with you. He’s here to let you down easy, to tell you he’s not even available, not interested, not –

“Alright,” Joel says. He walks towards you and tugs his phone from his back pocket. “I’ll take that number.”

Oh.

He hands it over and you type it in, heart jackhammering in your chest. But you watch his face, see the quirk of his mouth and his blush and it makes you brave.

“And the date?” you ask, giving it back. Your fingers brush and your heart keeps pounding but your nerves take a sharp turn away from doubt and towards excitement.

“Well, you gonna ask again?”

You both seem to have found your footing with whatever this is. The flirt in him is back full force, and he’s looking at you in that way of his. You want to know all of his expressions. There is so much to learn.

“Are you going to say yes?”

“S’why I came back,” he admits. “Figured you’d be closin’. Hoped you’d be free.”

“So you could read the cup?”

Joel takes the other two chairs and heads for the door again. You trail him. God, his arms are distracting. 

“Most of it,” he says. “Couldn’t make out the last few numbers, though.”

“Well, once we’re done here, I’m free. If you wanted to go on a date with me.”

Joel turns and you’re in the small space at the same time, your chests almost pressed together. You must smell like sweat and stale coffee but you watch as Joel inhales, eyes on yours.

“I do,” he says. 

It would be so easy to kiss him, a quick, chaste press of your lips to see what he tastes like.

His pupils dilate and you sway into him for a breath before you realize what you’re doing and step back outside.

You take a deep breath of fresh air. “Great.”

He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and you head for the tables. 

“Y’know,” he says. “Ellie’s been on my ass about this.”

You laugh, high and bright. “Has she?”

“That girl ain’t capable of missin’ an opportunity to stick her nose in,” he grumbles, but it’s affectionate. 

“Well, I think she’s smart,” you goad. 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Reckon she is.”

Joel’s brows furrow and he takes a few quick steps into your space, so close the tips of your shoes almost touch.

“Oh,” you breathe. “Hi.”

“Hold still,” he says. He reaches for your face slowly, slow enough that you could pull away but you don’t. He brushes something from your cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Grounds.” His voice is a little hoarse.

“Thanks,” you breathe. 

He smirks but the flush creeping up his neck tells you he’s not wholly unaffected. It makes you feel…it just makes you feel. 

Joel Miller likes you.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” you say.

His eyes widen slightly and he leans in just a little but you slide out of his space with a grin.

“The sooner we finish up the sooner I can buy you a drink.”

Joel laughs, loud and full. “Oh, how generous of you.”

“You’re very lucky,” you say.

“I agree,” he drawls. He taps your chin with one knuckle.

His eyes sparkle and he smiles, looking luminous in the post-storm sunshine. You see a flash of a future – watching him drink coffee in a kitchen instead of through the window of The Zone. Your hands meeting over a shared table, fingers tangling, that smile directed at you in the morning light. 

Giddiness rises in your throat and spills out of you in a delighted laugh of your own. Joel just grins.

“So,” he says. “Where’re you takin’ me?”

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Beach Episode (Part 19)

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Danny and Jason talked out their issues and dealt with it. Jason didn’t think he’d fuck up again, he’d felt so fucking bad, but Danny didn’t trust that. Which was fair, even if it hurt, he was going to have to prove that he meant it and could hold to it even when he was angry. He needed to get into therapy too, he’d been putting it off because he was scared, and protective of his identity, so much of the shit he’d seen and done was so hard to explain in a civilian situation.

But now that he was on slightly better terms with the JL he could prevail himself of one of their therapists. That ended up being the favour that Danny demanded from them was providing Jason with a therapist, one that wouldn’t be too judgmental of his… ‘methods’. They asked for Wonder Woman’s advice on that, which she was very happy to provide, relieved that Jason was facing up to his bad behaviour and taking steps to make it right. She’d been worried she was going to have to physically knock some sense into him.

The other favour that Danny asked for, not of the JL but from Jason, was not to complain about the family vacation that was being planned between Dick, Tim, Danny, and Alfred. Jason still didn’t love the idea but Danny gave him puppy dog eyes and insisted that it was needed to make him forgive Jason for his slip up. Necessary to make things right with his family and moving on, so he accepted it.

It took a lot of arranging and planning to get the family on vacation. They had to find a time everyone was available, find people they trusted to cover their patrols or cities, and of course agree on a destination. That was harder than you would expect, especially when Bruce got involved and tried to insist it should be in the deep woods somewhere and be a training exercise more than anything.

In the end he was shouted down and it was decided that they were going to go to a beach somewhere warm and sunny. Far enough away from any of their usual haunts that they wouldn’t feel the urge to work as long as there weren’t any natural disasters and Tim was kept off his ipad. Since it was a family vacation Danny invited Ellie and Dan too, though he wasn’t sure that Dan would come. Half of him hoped he wouldn’t because having Dan there was bound to be complicated, but they had decided to be family so Danny was going to put his money where his mouth was. 

Dan had been doing well anyway, he hadn’t missed any check ins and hadn’t caused any chaos in space. So he at least deserved an invite, whether he wanted to come or not. They had a check in two weeks before the trip so Danny brought it up with him then.

“A family vacation huh?” Dan asked, they were ‘sitting’ on a broken satellite which was still orbiting earth through inertia.

“Ya, God knows the Wayne's need it. And honestly so do I. Ellie will be coming too, and you're welcome too if you want to,” Danny said with a little shrug.

“And draw more attention from the GIW onto both of you?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Ya, but they already know Phantom is back and working with the Justice League now. I really don't think they're brave enough to touch us now. And if they try to, with all three of us together with the bats? Frankly I'd like to see them try. Maybe it would give the Justice League the push they need to really give them the smack down.” 

Dan snorted a little at Danny, he still didn't expect that ferocity from his younger self. “Ya I guess so,” he agreed with a crooked little smile.

“But if that was an excuse and you just don't want to come, that's fine. I don't want to push you, I just don't want you to feel left out since we decided we're family now,” Danny explained.

“Nah, I want to come. I want to meet my future brother in law,” Dan said with an absolutely feral smile.

“Oh dear,” Danny said faintly. “That doesn't sound good. Is it too late to uninvite you?” 

“Oh absolutely,” Dan cackled wickedly. “If you're going to be my little brother I should get to vet your boyfriend,” he teased, reaching over to ruffle Danny's hair and laughing when Danny smacked his hand away.

“Fine, you'll be a better judge than some people since I'm assuming we have the same opinions about violence?” He asked, glancing at Dan.

“I think I'm probably even more down for it then you are, but ya. Why?”

“Batman tried to stage an intervention about Jason hitting me. Trying to explain to them that I was totally fine with it and kinda liked it suuucked,” Danny groaned, flopping back dramatically as Dan laughed at him.

“Poor you,” Dan said, entirely unsympathetic. Danny flipped him off. “I'll probably give him shit about it.”

“Just don't scare him off. I really like this guy. If you pull anything I swear I'll spend the rest of our eternity making sure you never get a date!” 

“Sheesh, that's a serious threat kid! As long as he's not a wimp I won't scare him off. If I do scare him off he wasn’t a good fit for you in the first place,” Dan pointed out reasonably.

“Fine, I'll be keeping an eye on you though,” Danny warned.

“Of course you will, I'd expect nothing less after everything I've done,” Dan agreed dryly. “I'm surprised you're letting me be around your new found family at all.”

“Ya, well, you're one of my new found family as well.”

“Shit.”

“If you didn't want to be part of my found family you should have killed me when you had the chance!” 

“IS THAT A FUCKING MEME?!”

------------

All the Wayne’s could have asked their respective flying friends to give them a lift to the resort, but it had been decided no kryptonians were invited. They were trying to keep things to their family, though Dick was bringing Kori, that was fine they had been together off and on for years and were well settled together this time. She might as well be an in-law already. So she would be flying Dick in from Bludhaven, and everyone else was going to fly out from Gotham in the Waynes’ private jet. Well, the Waynes and Babs and Steph, who had taken a little more convincing to come, getting past their insistence they weren’t actually family being the trick. Thankfully the fact that the phantom siblings were coming too helped them see it wasn’t only a trip for the Waynes, and with different heroes and allies found to cover protecting Gotham they were bundled onto the private jet as well. 

 Which Danny and Ellie teased Bruce and Tim relentlessly about owning, Jason snickering in the background and egging on the two ghostly siblings in their teasing. They deserved it, no matter how much Bruce tried to defend that it was expected of him to have a private jet and he needed it for business! 

Teasing didn’t stop them from enjoying it though, Ellie chasing Tim around the isles, with Alfred chiding but not actually trying to stop them from having their fun and being kids for once.  Danny spent half the time exploring and stealing any snacks he found, and half the time murmuring in Jason’s ear about how they should steal the jet to join the mile high club. It was sweet torture and Jason did not want it to stop even as he shifted awkwardly and tried desperately to think unsexy thoughts so he wouldn’t get a boner surrounded by his family! Thank fuck Dick wasn’t here, the knowing smirks he’d be shooting the two of them would be too much.

It was a 16 hour flight, and once Ellie and Tim tired themselves out and fell asleep Bruce pulled out a sleep mask and settled in. Danny gave them this, it was much more comfortable to sleep in, and Jason and Danny slept soundly, at least until Ellie got bored and pounced on Danny. They phased out through the wall of the plane to go for a fly, racing the jet and flying loops around it until Ellie got tired and Danny had to help her back into the jet when she started to fall behind. 

Everyone else had started to wake up while they were gone, so by the time they got back it was just in time to have a family breakfast, and talk about what they were going to do once they landed. They had booked the entire top floor of the resort for privacy, which Danny thought was kind of overkill, but these were The Bats, they were incredibly security minded people, so he didn’t argue about it. Danny was mostly excited about swimming, this was a beach vacation after all!

Finally they landed, and grabbed as much of their stuff as they could from the plane before the bellhops could get them, as if all the staff hadn’t already been vetted by Babs. They were only staying for a week so they didn’t have so much they couldn’t reasonably carry it, and Danny suspected at least Tim had some stuff in his bags he would not want anyone else to see. He was going to keep an eye on the younger man to make sure that he hadn’t smuggled any work with him on vacation. 

They piled out of the plane, chattering excitedly about the vacation, Dick coming onto the plane to help Babs on the slightly too steep ramp from the plane. Kori was waiting for them on the tarmac with a warm smile, taking a couple of the heavier bag.

“We already picked out her room on the left side. I suspect Jason and Danny will want to be on the right, and the… single, and younger members of the family should be in the middle so we all have some place,” Kori suggested. 

“Kori!” Dick chided, though he clearly wasn’t actually shocked. Actually those who’d known the two of them for a while knew that was far more delicately put then she might have said it a couple years ago.

“What?” She said, blinking her bright green eyes innocently at Dick. “This is a romantic destination, and we love each other, we are only doing what is surely expected of a loving romantic union. I doubt your father wants to hear-”

“YES thank you Kori you’re right. We’ll make sure you and Dick, and Jason and Danny have your privacy,” Bruce promised.

Before the conversation could continue Ellie shrieked and dropped her bags, taking off running away from the group. It startled everyone, but hackles smoothed immediately when they spotted Dan, strolling across the lot to meet her at a more casual pace. He rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face as he bent down to scoop Ellie up before she could headbutt him in the gut at full sprint. He was wearing regular clothes, a black shirt and pants with white stripes down the side, and his fiery hair had been gathered into a low ponytail. He still looked obviously inhuman with his grey-green skin and red eyes, but there were all sorts of meta-humans around and he didn’t look like a supervillain at least. 

Ellie scrambled from in his arms to onto his shoulders as he grumbled at her without any real heat behind it. He shrugged his shoulders, making her squeak and hold on tight as he strolled over to the rest of the group.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Danny said, approaching Dan and patting his arm.

“Hey I told you I would,” Dan said ruffling Danny’s hair and ignoring the way the humans around them shifted nervously. Danny was either ignoring it as well or hadn’t noticed the nerves.

“I don’t believe we’ve met!” Kori said cheerfully, holding out her hand to shake. 

“Hey, I’m Dan. I’m these two’s big brother, by technicality,” Dan joked, gesturing to Danny and Ellie with his free hand, shaking her hand and squeezing too hard. He looked impressed when her smile only brightened and she squeezed back just as hard. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Kori, I’m Dick’s partner,” She said brightly. “You seem strong, we should spar some time soon.”

“I’d like that,” Dan agreed with a shark's grin. Grunting and dropping the smile when Danny elbowed him in the side. 

“Behave,” Danny grumbled at him, getting a growl and an eye roll in return, before his gaze landed on Jason. 

“And you must be Danny’s boyfriend huh?” He asked, letting go of Kori’s hand and offering it to Jason.

“Ya, I am. It’s nice to meet you. He warned me about you,” Jason said, standing up straight and shaking Dan’s hand firmly, trying not to wince when he squeezed it far too tightly. 

“I’m sure he did. I warned me about messing with you too,” Dan cackled, letting go of Jason’s hand before it could crack and shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Right, well now that everyone’s met each other let’s head inside hm?” Bruce interrupted trying to shoo them all towards the door. They were starting to attract attention standing out in the open like this. “We should pick out our rooms and get comfortable.”

“Ellie, how do you feel about sharing a room with Dan?” Danny asked, glancing up at his young clone, still perched on Dan’s broad shoulders. 

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Both Dan, and Ellie said at the same time before looking at each other, startled as Danny laughed.

“You’d both be absolutely terrible babysitters,” He said fondly. He expected them to get into a good deal of chaos together, but he did think that Ellie would keep Dan from killing anyone, or get Danny if things got completely out of control. 

“Fine, we’ll share,” Dan sighed, and Ellie nodded. 

“Thanks guys,” Danny said, smiling at his siblings before grabbing Jason’s hand and tugging him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go find the most extravagant room we can!”

--------------

There was a bit of a scramble for rooms, not that there weren’t plenty of rooms, but Step, Dick, and Tim were petty and silly and argued over the ‘best’ rooms. And of course once they started Ellie had to get in on the action. Danny and Jason left the younger ones (and Dick) to their squabbling and went to pick out their own room as far away from the rest as they could manage. They found a lovely one with an airy, beachy theme and a window seat looking out onto the ocean.

“It’s beautiful here,” Danny said, sitting down on the padded bench in front of the window and making grabby hands at Jason.

“Is it,” Jason chuckled, going to sit with Danny, who practically dived into Jason’s arms. “I wouldn’t want to live in a place like this, but it is very nice to visit.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, you're a Gothemite and a bat! If it’s not a little close, dark, or gloomy you stand out like a sore thumb,” Danny teased, nuzzling against the underside of Jason’s jaw, who laughed along. “I like our home and our nest though, it’s cozy,” Danny added before Jason could get insecure about it.

“Me too, do you want to unpack first or go exploring?” Jason asked softly.

“As much as I want to go exploring, I think we had better unpack before anyone tries to kick us out of our room by throwing out our bags,” Danny said with a put upon sigh, going nearly boneless against Jason’s chest. 

“You know you’re going to have to get up for us to unpack, right?”

“Noooo!”

-----------

The resort really was beautiful, and since they’d rented an entire floor it wasn’t as crowded as they were sure it usually was. Danny had never been to a place like this and he intended to make the most of it, all of it! The beach, the spa, and the incredibly fucking fancy restaurant and bar where he and Jason could actually drink since the Maldieves actually had a reasonable drinking age! 

Over the course of the week they got couples messages, got so drunk they had to lean on each other to get back to their room, and ordered far too much room service. But undoubtedly the beach was absolutely the main attraction. They spent a lot of time there, to the point Danny got a tan, and Jason was very glad he didn’t burn like Bruce did, who spent most of the second day laying on his stomach in bed with Alfred scolding him about not refreshing his sunscreen after swimming. On the second day Danny remembered he didn’t strictly have to breathe! And Jason spent the rest of the day sitting on the beach while Danny (and Ellie or Dan in turns) disappeared into the water for hours and came back to tell him about everything they saw.

On the third day Jason rented some scuba equipment so he could go down with his boyfriend and see all the wonders he’d been so excited about. At least the ones in shallower waters, he couldn’t follow Danny deeper where the pressure got too much, when Danny realized that he stuck to the shallower areas. By the time they got back to shore Jason was exhausted and very ready for supper, which was a family affair every night of the trip. It was really nice, since Alfred didn’t have to cook he could actually join them and he kept it from being too rowdy. 

They had to push tables together to accommodate the whole family, but the Waynes had more than enough money to get away with it and establish an extra long table for themselves for the entire week of their stay. They tended to eat late, which worked too because there were fewer people for them to disturb with their chatter and chaos, and the eleven of them were usually more than enough for the kitchen to contend with since most of them were big eaters. The dinners were really nice, it didn’t have the baggage of being at the manor, and though they’d met up in smaller groups all of them (minus Kate who had opted out) had never been in the same place. 

It was the perfect opportunity for… something, something that Dick unfortunately beat Jason too on the third night, during dessert when he got up from the table, and got down on one knee in front of Kori. Silence fell over the entire restaurant as Jason bit back a groan and quickly readjusted his expectations to be happy for his brother. 

“Koriand'r, you and I have been together for a long time, and we’ve been through a lot of shit. But never have I not been happy you were there with me for it. You’ve made all of it easier by letting me be by your side, and I hope you’ll let me stick by you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?” 

“Yes!” Kori yelped, holding out her hand and letting him put the ring on her finger before she grabbed his wrist and his collar and hauled him in for a passionate kiss as the family cheered and everyone around clapped politely. “You’ll have to come with me to pick out a ring for you as well My Love,” Kori told him warmly while Dick grinned like an idiot. 

“Congratulations!” Steph cheered, practically leaping over the table to tackle both of them as Bruce ordered a few bottles of the best champagne the resort could offer and everyone else lined up to congratulate them as well. Besides Dan, who was being ignored as he grumbled in the corner about how ostentatious and cliche the whole thing was. 

Hey, maybe if Danny secretly shared some of those thoughts Jason had dodged a bullet not being able to propose on this trip. He’d come up with a new plan, one Danny might even like better.

[dancingtotuyo]

9. the fear of what's to come

Woman | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You and Joel navigate life changing news.

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of potential pregnancy complications including but not limited to miscarriage and stillbirth, single reference to a fetus being a child (not intended in a pro life way), angst, grief, complicated feelings surrounding pregnancy.

Notes: A huge thanks to my amazing beta readers and friends @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin & @janaispunk

If you have not checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3088

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

You know three weeks after your missed period what is happening. It’s not hard to figure out. It’s just like last time. Menopause crosses your mind briefly, but the symptoms don’t line up. You’re sensitive to the same foods, nausea rolls in and out like the ocean tides throughout the day. The insatiable craving for a tomato sandwich cements it two days later. Tears run down your cheeks as you quickly finish off the sandwich and prepare another. 

You don’t get excited. You don’t make plans, and most importantly, you don’t tell Joel. You’re 45. Joel is in his late 50s. You know the statistics, the pre-end-of-the-world ones. You can’t imagine they’ve improved. 

Instead, you just hope that when it happens, nothing goes wrong. There’s no DNC, no pills to make sure everything passes properly or ensure no infection sets in. You’ve aided many women through this, many much younger than yourself. Some make it just fine, others have complications with nothing but prayer, poultices, and 20-year-old antibiotics to help. You’re not sure what actually does it when the women make it through. Some of them you've buried. Their faces flicker through your mind. You cannot be one of them. You cannot leave Carter without either of his parents in this world.  

You tell Maria. You tell her everything she needs to know. What to do step by step when it happens. Since Adam’s injury, Dr. Pooley refuses to practice anything more than simple first aid. You’re both certain it’s dementia. You spend most mornings listening to him talk through different lectures he attended. On the mornings his brain won’t cooperate, you sip tea together. He’s writing down what he remembers, but you have to fact-check it. He’s already taught you most of it anyway. 

“You have to tell Joel,” Maria says when you tell her. 

You refuse. You won’t do it. You won’t bring him into this. You have this silent agreement that you’re partners in this world, but he still lives in the house across the street with Ellie. There’s never been discussions about moving in together or anything past that. You don’t call him your boyfriend. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Making those commitments, those plans, it will hurt too much when the world takes him away. 

Carter calls him “Daddy.” It makes Joel smile every time. He’s accepted that commitment. It makes you smile too, but there’s still a little ache in your heart each time. Carter knows about Gabe. You tell him stories all the time. If you ask him, he says he has two daddies. One here and one in heaven. 

But you won’t tell Joel about this child. He’s lost one. He doesn’t need to lose another. 

Maria fights you on it. She looks at her son pointing out that she was 2 years older than you are now when he was born healthy. You don’t remind her she almost died, but she sees it in your eyes. You still have nightmares about that night.

You’re firm. You’re not going to tell Joel. Neither will she, and she damn sure won’t tell Tommy either. 

You wait for the cramps and the blood, but they never come. You hit the 3-month mark, your 2nd trimester at the beginning of October. You don’t cry in the bathroom. You square your shoulders. Second-trimester miscarriages happen. Stillbirths happen, but hope gathers in the depths of your soul, growing with each day. You push it away with logic and reasoning. 

Two sides of you war against each other. You can’t bring another life into this world. At one point you were okay with it. You felt safe here, and while you still do, it doesn’t feel okay anymore. The world still digs its ugly claws into this community. Yet, the hopes you used to hold in your mind, the ones you had with Gabe, and the ones you had before the outbreak still linger. In a perfect, uncomplicated world, this is what you would choose. 

You hide the sickness from Joel with relative ease. He’s often awake and out of bed before you for patrol shifts, early morning chores, or waking up with Carter so you can sleep in.

You deliver the Crosby twins a week later without complications. Melissa is only a couple of years younger than you, but at your age, you know how crucial those few years are. When you finally reach your front porch, you sit in the darkness of Wyoming and finally let the tears fall because fate seems to be telling you that this is happening, or just sending you another person to lose. The realization hits you like a freight train. Time is up. You have to tell Joel. 

You crack open the door to Carter’s bedroom. He’s sound asleep and it relieves you to know he's here. You’re less on edge when he’s close, and It means Joel picked him up from Maria and Tommy’s. It means Joel is in your bed.

Sure enough, he’s there when you creep in. He sleeps on his side curled up over your pillow. You roll your eyes. Yes, it's endearing, but it’s also a pain in the ass to get your pillow back.

The bathroom light is blinding at first, but your eyes slowly adjust as you turn on the shower and steam fills the space. Goosebumps spread across your skin as you undress, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You’ve noticed the subtle changes in your body over these past couple of months, but they’re becoming more noticeable. Your breasts have grown, they’re so sensitive, and your sports bra pulls at the seams. Joel commented on it last week. You joked you were packing on extra weight for winter acting like it was nothing. 

Your favorite pair of jeans no longer fit. You’ve mostly stuck to leggings since. You’re starting to clock the subtle changes in your body. They’re happening faster than with your last pregnancy. The past week, you’ve shut Joel down sexually, scared he would catch on despite your sex drive skyrocketing. It’s been difficult. 

The shower washes away everything: the sweat and grime of the day, your tears, the tension in your muscles. You stand under the water until it runs cold, slipping on Joel’s worn soft t-shirt.

Your pillow is back on your side of the bed, Joel still on his side. A smile creeps onto your face. He keeps his eyes closed, but you know he’s awake. You don’t say anything as you slide into bed, but your anxiety spikes, your heart fluttering in your chest. You have to tell him. 

You’re staring at the ceiling when he breaks the silence. “What happened?” 

You suck in a breath. He thinks something went wrong tonight. He’s probably preparing to dig a grave. “Nothing, mom and babies are fine.”

“So it was twins?” 

“Yeah.” You had suspected as much, but the ultrasound machine doesn’t work, try as you might to get it operational. You hadn’t been able to find a second heartbeat with the Doppler. 

“So what’s buggin you?” His drawl is deeper, soaked with sleep. 

He scoots a little closer, hot breath tickling your ear. You can’t move. You should look him in the eye when you tell him, but you can’t. The words are at the back of your throat surging forward toward your lips. The anxiety in your chest feels like a herd of buffalo stomping across the countryside. You squeeze your eyes shut to try and stop it.

“Sweetheart?” His hand reaches toward you, eyes trained on your profile as concern laces his brow. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

His hand stops over your arm. You feel its warmth so close, and then it goes away. You dare to look at him. You expect him to get out of bed and bolt. You don’t know why. He’s only shown you otherwise the entirety of your relationship, but this is more than either of you signed up for. Instead, you watch as it sinks in. He connects the dots, all the symptoms and signs that were right in front of his face, his subconscious absorbing them, but refusing to put it all together. 

“I’m sorry,” you say.

You look back toward the ceiling, tears slipping from your eyes. 

His hand covers your abdomen, forehead pressing against your temple. He starts to feel the changes to your body for what they are. You shudder. 

“How long have you known?”

There’s not a trace of judgment or fear in his voice, but it does little to assure you. You’re scared. It doesn’t matter what Joel says or does, the fear is overwhelming. 

“Beginning of August.”

“Shit, baby.” He pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. “You didn’t have to carry this alone.”

“I didn’t think it would last.” After months of holding the tears back, you finally let them out, a mix of relief and fear. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to-” 

You can’t finish it. You can’t say it out loud, but Joel knows what you’re trying to say. You didn’t want him to lose another child, and it wrecks him. His grip on you is crushing, but it soothes your shaking frame. Just as you come down, his sobs greet your ear because he’s scared too. Every single fear and anxiety that has come over you the past months, he feels too. Maria’s labor and delivery flash through his mind. If that happens to you, who’s going to save you? 

You reach up to cradle his face. He presses into your neck. Your skin is sticky and salty again, but you don’t even think about it as the man you love and can’t tell cries in your arms. You’re unable to return his soothing squeeze, but you lay there to provide any comfort you can. The two of you fall asleep tangled in each other. 

You feel Joel’s fingers dancing across your abdomen before you’re fully conscious. There’s no rhyme or reason to his movements. His other hand brushes over your temple and through your hair. Every once in a while you feel his breath and lips across your neck, up and down your arm, over your collarbone. It feels like he’s memorizing you, fear present in all of his movements even now. 

You finally open your eyes. His movements still as you look at him. There are tears in his eyes as his head falls forward, resting against yours. “I’m scared.”

“Me too.” You reach out, nails raking across his arm. 

He shudders under your touch. “I wish you told me sooner.” 

You bit your lips. “I’m sorry.” 

He lets out a deep sigh, kissing your forehead. His hand drifts to your abdomen again. You watch his eyes, so expressive filled with fear and anxiety and maybe a little bit of awe and guilt?

“I should’ve been more careful.”

You press your head to his, inhaling softly. “We.”

Joel’s fingers scrape along your jaw, his beard rough against your chin. “I like being a we.”

“Me too.”

Silence settles between the two of you. The wind knocks against the window, but it’s warm next to Joel. His arm snakes around you, tugging you closer to him. 

“I suppose you’ve told Maria?”

You can’t hide the guilty smile on your lips. “If it makes a difference, she told me I needed to tell you right away. Pretty sure she was gonna tell you herself if I didn’t do it soon.” You mess with the collar of his shirt. 

“How long do we have?”

“Figure it’ll be May. If we get that far.” You say. Joel nods and something clenches around your heart, a need to protect him, warn him of the danger. “You know there’s a lot of risks. No guarantee…” 

“One day at a time.” He kisses your cheek but you see all the fear he’s pushing away plastered to his face like a movie poster. 

Joel asks you how you are, but other than that, you don’t talk about it. You feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders but there’s an anvil hanging above your head, waiting to drop at a moment’s notice. 

You’ve outgrown your last pair of jeans. When you manage to trade with someone, they give you a look, like they know what’s going on inside your body. 

You take more naps, sometimes at the clinic, sometimes on the couch. You’re constantly tired. Maria brings dinner to the house every few days. She never asked, but you don’t complain. 

One evening you open your eyes to find Ellie staring down at you, worry etched in her features. It startles you at first. 

“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately,” She says. 

“You’ve noticed?” You pull yourself into a seated position. It feels like someone shoved a bunch of cotton into your mouth. You reach for the now room-temperature water on your end table. 

“You only take naps when you’re sick or depressed.” You raise an eyebrow at her. She crosses her arms as if to say she knows you’re neither right now. “What’s going on?”

You finish off the water. Despite its temperature, it helps. “I’m fine.” You reach out, placing a hand on her shoulder, but it does nothing. At 17 years old, Ellie is turning into a woman before your very eyes. At times, you’re convinced any semblance of childhood has been replaced with adulthood, but there are other times you still see the slivers of the girl you met two and a half years ago. Right now, she’s the one sitting in front of you.  

“Bullshit. What’s going on? You and Joel have been acting weird.”

Had things really been that different in the past couple of weeks? You open your mouth to speak, unsure of what to say. You and Joel hadn’t talked about telling anyone, which seemed silly. You can’t hide this forever. 

The door opens and Carter bursts in with Joel on his heels. A smile instantly finds your lips. 

“Mommy! Look!” He holds up a package of seemingly new Crayola crayons. 

Your eyes widen with exaggeration. “Wow, buddy. That’s awesome.”

“John Lacy found a bunch of them on patrol. They handed them out today,” Joel smiles. “Grabbed you some colored pencils.” He hands a set of non-crayola pencils to Ellie.

“Thanks.” She smiles but is still distracted by her worry over you. 

Carter crawls up beside you, eagerly pulling out the surprisingly intact crayons one by one. Joel leans over to kiss your cheek and tousles Ellie’s hair. She makes a face of displeasure but doesn’t fight him on it.

“You two look like you were talkin about somethin serious.”

“I was trying to figure out why the two of you have been acting weird,” Ellie says. 

Joel’s drops to unreadable. He looks at you and you shrug in response. “We have to tell them eventually.”

Worry makes its home on Ellie’s face. “So something is wrong with you.with you.”

“Nothing is wrong with me.” You sigh deeply. You run your fingers over Carter’s head, kissing it. 

“You’re sure acting like there is,” She says impatiently.

“Ellie,” Joel reprimands, traces of his asshole voice laced into it. 

Ellie bites her lip. It looks like she might be fighting off tears as she looks directly at you. “I’m worried about you.”

You force a smile, leaning forward. Your forearms rest on your knees. One would think it would get easier to say each time. Instead, it’s like picking at a scab that’s not healed. You’re forcing yourself to say something, your brain isn’t ready to accept. “I’m pregnant.”

Ellie sits up straighter, her eyes widen with shock. “Oh wow…”

You wonder if the pictures fill her mind too. She saw Maria the night Elias was born. She saw the blood that covered you. Joel’s fingers brush over your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before they run over the back of your neck. You lean against him. “I’m sorry we worried you. We’re still getting used to the idea,” You say. 

She nods and then her arms around your neck. She basically knocks you backward with the force of it. “I’m glad you’re not dying.”

You squeeze her tightly, a faint lilt of humor in your voice. “Me too.”

Then her voice drops to a whisper right at your ear. “You’ll be okay. I know you will.”  

Your head rests on Joel’s bare chest that night. The full moon sends light drifting through your window, casting the room in a cool glow. You play absentmindedly with the hair on his chest. His heart beats under your ear. The room is otherwise silent. 

“I told Tommy today.” 

You nod. 

“He wanted to know why I was so quiet. Told him I was always quiet.”

That pulls a smile across your lips. “Surprised he shut up long enough to notice.”

Joel chuckles. His arm around you tightens. His lips find your forehead. “I know we’re not ready to think too much about it.”

“Don’t think it’s something we can really ignore.” You nuzzle further into him. 

“Baby steps.” He kisses your nose this time.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Baby steps? Really?” You flip onto your stomach while you still can.

He chuckles. “Poor word choice.”

You kiss his bicep and then his shoulder. He looks at you like your entire world and your stomach erupts in butterflies and twists in knots all at the same time. You still won’t let him say it, but you feel it every time he looks at you like that. 

You rest your chin on his shoulder. “What are these steps you had in mind?”

His thumb traces over your jaw and cheek. “Don’t bolt on me, okay?”

“I think it’s a little late for that.”

He chuckles and then inhales deeply. “I think we should probably share a house. I figured you’d prefer to stay here, but it’s up to you.” He searches your eyes for any signs of panic or signs that you might shut down but finds nothing. In fact, you’re so calm that it’s hard to read. 

“It would be nice to have you officially living here,” you say. It feels right to say, to think about. “And Ellie if she wants.” 

“That was easier than I’d thought it would be.”

“You pretty much live here as is.” You turn on your side, nuzzling back into him. “I’ll miss your fireplace though.”

Joel smiles. “Guess I'll just have to keep you warm instead.” 

[ellies-little-thing]

I thought you hated me (e.w.)

My masterlist <3

Warnings: Roommates; modern Ellie; Mature content; swearing; fluf; smut; arguing; reader is referred to as she/her; Ellie is mean; Readers first time with a girl; Mentions of past relationships; cheating, mentions of drinking; love/hate relationship; Reader has a vagina; enemies to lovers (kinda); Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This is my first ever fanfic, I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy! 

Hi i re-edited this fic, I hope you like the sligth channges!

Word count: 25k

NSFW MINORS AND MEN DNI!!

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You and Ellie didn’t exactly get along, sure you had to hang out with each other because of your friends, but you guys always teased and bad mouthed each other until it ended up in a full-blown argument.

Maria was rearranging roommates for each dorm and as you approached the door  that was supposed to be your new home, your breath hitched.

Ellie opens her door in a hoodie and shorts and sees you standing there. “Great, you’re the one living with me” she scoffs, clearly annoyed.

“Happy to see you too.” Y/N says sarcastically. Ellie rolled her eyes, walking into the room and sitting down on her bed.

“Of course, it’s YOU living with me, I can’t even be in peace in my own room?” She crossed her arms and gave Y/N a stern look.

“It isn’t like it was my choice!”

“Oh, I’m aware, the fact that we’re forced to live together is absurd, I want no trouble.” Ellie sat her head in the palm of her hand, she was very annoyed.

“I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.” Ellie seemed surprised that Y/N had already given up, she had been expecting a lot of trouble.

“That’s it?” Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t want to argue.” Ellie seemed almost sad when she heard Y/N’s words, sure she had expected them but she wanted to argue.

“I was looking forward to that…” Ellie said, almost whispering.

“What?” You asked because you couldn't hear what she'd just said.

“Never mind, you don’t wanna argue.” Ellie stood up and crossed her arms. Ellie took a look around the dorm that was now her new home.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” You say mockingly. That was the perfect sentence to piss Ellie off. Ellie marched up to Y/N, she was now looking down on her with a blank expression. Y/N was about 5 feet tall (1.52m) and Ellie was 5’7 (1.70m).

“Hurt my feelings? I don’t have feelings, you’re an ass anyways, why would I care.” She scoffed.

“Nice one dickhead!” That actually caught her off guard. Ellie actually had to think of a comeback to that. Ellie had a stern expression as she thought of something, she had to think fast. Finally, she had an answer and a smile spread across her face.

“Well, at least I’m a dickhead, you can't even get any dick.” She said almost laughing.

“Like you have one…” Ellie almost lost it at that comment.

“Ohhh, but I do..” She smiled, she was now very amused by the fact that she caught you off guard twice.

“Oh, do you? Since I last checked, girls don’t have dicks.” You said annoyed.

“Check again dear, girls can have dicks. I am proof of that.” Ellie was still smiling, the look on your face was hilarious.

“Let’s see it then.” You challenge her.

“Oh please, a gorgeous lady like me doesn’t need to show you, how about we skip straight to your bed?” She asked in a cocky tone, she had clearly already won the argument.

“Fuck you, go beat one off alone and leave me be.” Ellie actually started laughing, she couldn’t help herself and she had to cover her mouth to stop laughing.

“I wasn’t being serious, that’s not very polite of you my dear.” She said, holding back laughter.

“ha ha.” You say dryly. Ellie was still amused by the conversation, she had actually enjoyed talking to you. She had been expecting an argument, but this was actually very entertaining.

“What should we do? Are we gonna hang out or something?” Ellie asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Do what you want, I’m putting my stuff away.” Ellie watched as you put your things away, it looked like you weren't gonna budge on doing anything with her. Ellie was stubborn and also a bit annoyed, she had to come up with a plan to get you to spend some time with her.

“You’re not gonna do anything fun with me?” She asked, trying to make herself sound convincing.

“Hum… Since the last time I checked..I thought you hated me?” You said, not even looking at her.

“What? Who said I hated you?” Ellie asked, sounding confused. “You and I are gonna be roommates, I just thought I would try to make this easier for both of us.” Ellie explained. “Can’t we just hang out for a bit? You look fun…”

“Fine.” You said.  Ellie felt accomplished, she had successfully convinced you to spend some time with her and you had only been roommates for about an hour. Ellie sat down on her bed and looked over at you putting your belongings away.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask annoyed.

“What? Am I not allowed to look at you?” Ellie asked. She had crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly; you were confusing her but Ellie still had a plan. Ellie wanted to hang out with you, if she couldn’t convince you to hang then she would just force you to be her friend.

“No, that is a privilege honey.” You mocked.

“I don’t think I’m your honey.” Ellie laughed a bit while she spoke.   Ellie still wasn’t used to the fact that this girl, who she thought would be mean and not like her at all, was actually willing to talk to her. It was very confusing to Ellie but she was now actually looking forward to hanging out.

“Just leave me alone.” You say quietly.

“You know I can’t do that, we’re roommates, remember?” Ellie was persistent, she wasn’t just gonna let you do whatever you wanted right away.

“Plus, being annoying is kinda my thing.” She shrugged.

“Perfect.” You say annoyed. Ellie smirked; she knew you weren't serious about your comment. Ellie actually felt better talking and hanging out with you, she had assumed you would be a very mean and awful person. Ellie got off her bed and continued looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna watch a movie or something?” Ellie asked.

“I’m going to take a shower, bye.” Ellie was surprised by this response, but she was still persistent.

“Fine, but after you take your shower, we’re watching a movie.” Ellie had to admit though, the thought of being alone for hours was scary.

“Hhhghhh….” You say annoyed.

“What?” Ellie looked at you, now confused. She had thought that you had agreed on watching a movie with her.

“Pick the movie then.” Ellie was surprised, she had expected you to refuse and walk away.

“Alright then, um… do you like Horror movies?” Ellie actually didn’t like horror movies, but anything for you to see the other side and to have a chance to become her friend.

“You pick! “ You get to the bathroom and close the door. Ellie knew that this was her chance to pick a romance movie, but she decided to still stick with the horror movies. Ellie put on a horror movie that her friends had recommended for her awhile back and then knocked on the bathroom door. Ellie had to admit that she was a bit nervous, for some reason just talking to you felt weird. She figured this was because she didn’t usually spend such a long time with someone who didn’t like her.

You get in the shower and start singing. While waiting outside the bathroom, this gave Ellie an idea. As you were singing in the shower, Ellie put the volume down on the TV and started singing the exact same song that sounded like you were singing. Ellie knew that this was the perfect opportunity to get your attention and maybe even have some fun.  You get out of the shower and get dressed. You then open the door and your hair is still dripping.  Ellie noticed that you hadn’t said anything and decided to keep singing, she had a plan.  Ellie started singing a lot louder and tried to mimic the voice that you had. You would hear Ellie singing and hopefully come over, at this point Ellie didn’t have any other plans. She hoped that you would come check it out. You look at Ellie but don't say one word. Ellie decided to say something, she was waiting for a reaction but you remained silent like always.

“Hey uh. Y/N… Can I get one of your hair ties...?” Ellie asked a bit awkwardly; she still wasn’t used to you at all. Ellie figured that giving you a task might help you loosen up a bit.

You throw Ellie a black hair tie. Ellie caught the hair tie and put her hair in a half bun, now she just waited for a response. Ellie was feeling nervous, she couldn’t let this chance slip. “Can I try something?” Ellie asked as a grin spread across her face.

“What?” You looked at Ellie while drying your hair.

“Um… can you do me a favor...?” Ellie was already starting to turn red from embarrassment, she felt anxious. Ellie hadn’t ever been this close to you, she was starting to feel a bit nervous.

“What is it?" Ellie looked at you and her expression turned from nervous to excitement.

“This might sound a bit weird but can I just… hug you..?” Ellie asked, her tone was a lot shyer and softer than it usually is.

“Humm…. “ You get a bit surprised. Ellie’s heart beat rapidly, she felt a bit nervous. Ellie thought about it for a moment and then just reached out her hands , she was going to take her chances and go for a hug.

“Okay…” You let Ellie hug you. Ellie took her chances and hugged you, it was a bit uncomfortable but it was worth it. Ellie then let go of you and looked down, she was now smiling. “Let’s go watch the movie.” Ellie said in a very confident voice, she was feeling much better after the hug.

“What is up with you?” You were really confused at this point. Ellie looked at you, this was another question that Ellie expected to be asked. Ellie took a second to think and then responded. “Nothing, nothing is up with me. I just felt like showing affection to my roommate.” Ellie shrugged.

You  look at Ellie suspiciously. “Hum…. I have my eyes on you, Williams.” Ellie smiled; she was very happy that you hadn’t refused to do anything with her so far. Ellie sat back down on her bed and put the TV back up to the volume it was on before. “Do you wanna watch the movie or not?” Ellie said.

“Fine.” You sit on the couch.  “What did you pick?” Ellie looked at you as you spoke.

“It’s gonna show some blood so it’s 18+ if that’s okay? The movie is called “It Follows”, ever heard of it?” Ellie was excited to see if you would enjoy the movie she picked.

“I love horror movies!” You say excited.

“Then this should be right up your alley.” Ellie pressed a button on the remote and the movie played. Ellie was nervous, she had thought that the movie would be perfect to watch with you. Ellie then looked over at you to see if she had a response. you were excited to watch the movie.

Ellie was so happy to see that you actually wanted to watch it, everything was going the way Ellie planned. Ellie looked over at you once again, to try to see how you were reacting so far to the movie.

Ellie was now hoping that the horror elements of the movie would make you scared, Ellie wanted to see you act like a scaredy cat. You jump at one of the jump scares and then burst out laughing. Ellie started grinning as you jumped, she was so excited to see you act scared.

“You scared?” Ellie asked, trying to hold in laughter as she spoke.

“No! It was really funny actually.” Ellie tried to maintain a serious expression but when you said that the scare was funny, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ellie just broke out laughing, she felt like she had already made a lot of progress. When Ellie finally settled down, she glanced at you.

“Do you find the movie funny?” Ellie asked, she was genuinely curious.

“I find all horror movies funny; can you imagine the actors doing all this stuff?? They sure are trying really hard not to laugh whilst the cameras are rolling.” You say, talking almost like a little kid talks about their favorite things.

“Really? Do you not find any horror movies creepy?” Ellie looked at you, she expected the answer to be a big no. Ellie found the majority of horror movies creepy so the statement that she found them all funny was bizarre and confusing to her. Ellie actually liked the answer though, it made you sound less scary and more human.

“Why? Are you scared?” You teased her.

Ellie blushed slightly, you had caught her off guard. But you were right, Ellie did find this scary movie creepy. Ellie had to respond to your question to avoid being mocked, so the answer she gave was an honest one. “A bit.” Ellie admitted. Ellie didn’t want to admit it but there weren’t any lies to hide behind in this situation.

“Oh, I have such a baby for a roommate.” You teased her again, smiling.

Ellie was expecting you to say something like that. Ellie now had her moment to tease you instead. Ellie put on a cocky expression and nodded. “Yes, I’m a big baby and I’m scared of scary movies.” Ellie spoke in a deep voice as she pretended to fake cry. Ellie kept doing her fake crying while looking at you.

“Too bad I don’t care.” You scoffed. Ellie was enjoying herself way too much to stop, she kept the deep voice going.

“I’m so scared!” Ellie said, doing her best acting. Ellie was waiting for your reaction; she felt a smile spread across her face.

You just laughed at Ellie’s bad acting skills. Ellie was still pretending to cry, but when you laughed, she stopped. Ellie pretended to wipe tears from her eyes as she spoke, “Hey, I thought that was some grade A acting! How come you’re so mean to me?” Ellie pretended to fake pout; she was just gonna keep this up until you couldn’t stop yourself from responding.

You turn sad all of a sudden. “Are you crying...?” Ellie sounded surprised at the sudden change in emotions, she was trying to hold back a laugh but she didn’t want to sound mean. Ellie just watched as you sat on the couch, you really were the most unpredictable person in the world. Ellie had to try so hard not to laugh at your sudden mood change.

You look away from Ellie and continue watching the movie. Ellie decided to say something, she was very curious to know if something was wrong. Ellie didn’t know what actually made you sad or even why you were sad. “Hey umm. you alright?” Ellie asked.

You smirk.  “Now who’s the best actor here? I am!” You tease ker. Ellie turned bright red; she had been caught off guard. Her mind had been racing at what she could say as a response. Ellie decided to just accept the loss and move on, so she responded with. 

“Yeah, okay you win. You’re the best actor.” While Ellie was admitting your acting to be superior, she didn’t feel like it was the truth. You just smile.

“You look cute when you smile.” Ellie blurted out before even thinking about it. Ellie realized what she said the moment the words came out of her mouth. As soon as this happened Ellie’s cheeks turned bright red, she just smiled awkwardly while she waited for a response.

“You think I’m cute?” Ellie felt herself so embarrassed but didn’t want to deny that she meant what she said. Ellie took a second to think before responding to your comment. “Yes, I’m sorry it’s just you look kinda cute and I don’t know... I just feel like I have to be honest.” Ellie said while her face still remained red.

“You look cute all flustered like this.” Ellie was not expecting you to continue flirting. She turned even more red; she felt her face burning as her emotions started to go crazy. Ellie was actually really flustered, she felt herself turning red even more.

“I-… um, thanks.” Ellie finally stuttered. She wanted to say much more but it was difficult to talk when her face was almost as red as a tomato! You chuckled softly and continued watching the movie. Ellie was glad that you just laughed, but since if you kept trying to flirt, Ellie would’ve turned into a mess.

“Hey um… can I say something?” Ellie eventually asked. She knew that the answer would be no, but she still wanted to say what she was gonna say.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Okay this is probably gonna sound a bit strange, but I think you’re actually really cute.” Ellie looked at you and spoke, her face was still red but that was ok. She wasn’t gonna just hold it back, she wanted you to know. Ellie was glad she said it in the end, even if you completely rejected her, she felt good not keeping it inside. You blushed. Ellie was expecting so many different reactions, maybe you would smile, say no , laugh or be mad. Ellie never thought she would see you actually blush! Ellie watched as you turned a bit red, her face lit up as she smiled at you once again. Ellie was so happy that you blushed, she didn’t even care if you didn’t feel the same way about her. Just seeing your reaction made Ellie’s day a lot better.

“Oh, shut up!” You pushed Ellie playfully. Ellie laughed; she thought that your reaction was hilarious even though you were trying to sound mean at the time. Ellie pushed you back and tried to be mean back, although she didn't think she succeeded that much. “Am I too cute for you to handle?” Ellie said in a mocking tone. She now had a wide grin on her face, she was having a lot of fun.

“Just watch the movie!” You smiled looking back at the tv. Ellie knew that it would be best to just watch the movie, so that’s what she did. Ellie turned back to the TV and watched as the movie continued playing. Ellie had been enjoying herself a lot, the movie was scary but she was having fun with you. She noticed that you hadn’t tried to flirt with her again, but that was ok. Ellie was having fun in the current situation; she hadn’t planned this but everything was going better than she could’ve imagined.

You glance at Ellie to see if she’s scared. Ellie was doing a pretty good job at pretending to be scared, she wanted to see if you believed it. All of the horror scenes made her jump and she kept glancing over at you too. Ellie was hoping that after the movie you would say that she was acting. You noticed Ellie getting scared. During the last scene in the movie Ellie got the biggest scare, she actually yelled out loud in the middle of it. Ellie sat there not knowing how you were gonna react to her acting. she was doing her best to pretend to be scared when she actually wasn’t. The way she reacted did seem a bit over the top, but she figured it was fine. Ellie just looked at you and waited patiently for a response.

You laughed as soon as Ellie jumped. Ellie looked over at you when she started laughing. She now knew that you just didn’t believe a single bit of her act, but it was still ok because it was fun to do. Ellie laughed and was glad that you were laughing as well, she didn’t want this movie watch session to end yet.

“Hey ..” Ellie said, trying to get you to speak again.

“What?”

“Can we watch another movie?” Ellie asked in a soft voice, she was getting a bit nervous. Ellie wanted to keep enjoying herself by watching movies with you, but she had no idea how you would respond to the question she just asked. Ellie didn’t wanna sit in silence, she was gonna watch another movie with you no matter what.

“I think you’re enjoying my company after all.” You say in a slightly teasing tone.

“Yeah, I am.” Ellie said. She wasn’t lying. Ellie really liked you, you was the first person Ellie had ever liked this way. Ellie felt her heart beating rapidly as she waited patiently for you to put on another movie.

“What movie are you gonna put on next?”  No matter what you decided, Ellie was gonna watch the movie with yor. Ellie liked spending time with you and if it kept going like this , she might fall hard for you.

You were a bit surprised at Ellies response. Ellie watched as you seemed kind of surprised by her honesty, Ellie was too nervous to speak, she just looked at you and waited for her to say something else, she really wanted to know what movie you were watching next. Ellie was just happy that you weren't mad, that was the only thing she was worried about before she admitted her honesty. Ellie’s heart was beating a million miles an hour, this was one of the most important moments in her life.

“What about some cartoons? “ You tried to seem chill about the whole thing.

“Uhm… sure?” Ellie was confused about why you  were suggesting cartoons but she didn’t mind. She just liked being in your company and spending the evening with you by her side. Ellie watched as you put on the cartoon, she didn’t wanna take any of the attention away from you. But Ellie couldn’t resist a moment more to ask you a question. “Hey…  How come you want to watch cartoons?” Ellie asked in a tone that was a bit softer than usual.

“I always liked animation movies.” Ellie smiled at you as you spoke, she was now really happy that you liked cartoons.

“Alright then!” Ellie said as she looked over at the tv and watched the cartoon. Ellie thought that this was probably one of the best nights of her life , she was so much herself while being with you and she couldn’t imagine how much more there was to come in the future. Ellie looked over at you again to see if you would say anything else. “What do you like?” You asked her, watching the tv.

“About cartoons?” Ellie looked at you, she really didn’t think you even cared about what she liked about cartoons. Ellie thought you just wanted to watch cartoons and didn’t want to know what she loved about them. Ellie decided to say what she loves about cartoons anyway. “Well, I kinda just love everything about them! They have the best plot and animation! I love how they can tell stories with so many morals and lessons!” Ellie explained, her eyes were sparkling while she spoke.

“I know right? Everyone thinks cartoons are just for kids.” You respond enthusiastically.

“I know right!? Cartoons are amazing and not just for kids! There are so many different types of cartoons!” Ellie was very passionate about cartoons and could go on for hours about how amazing they are. Ellie was still trying to learn more about you, and now she knew what you liked. Ellie was so happy that she found someone who loved shows the same way she did. “You gotta tell me your favorite cartoon now, don’t leave me hanging.” Ellie said jokingly.

“Arcane, definitely.” You responded with a serious tone.

“You like Arcane!?” Ellie looked over at you, she wasn’t sure if she heard her answer right. Ellie loved Arcane; she couldn’t even explain how much she loved the show. Ellie wanted to know everything about your opinion on arcane. The fact that you loved arcane made her night so much better! 

“I’ve watched it more than a dozen times at least, almost know all the lines by heart.” You say a bit timid.

“You’ve watched it more than a dozen times?! You must be obsessed!” Ellie was starting to sound like a giant nerd, but she didn’t care about that one bit. Ellie just looked at you smiling after her comment. Ellie also thought that the idea of you knowing all the lines was super cute. You blushed a bit. “Yeah, maybe I’m a bit obsessed….”

Ellie couldn’t help but look at you as you blushed. She started getting the feeling that this night was turning into something amazing. Ellie also felt herself blushing, she just had to keep looking at you.

“Well, what’s your favorite episode?” Ellie asked, she liked asking questions at this point in the night, so she didn’t mind asking again. Ellie felt like you were the only person she could really open up to right now.

“Oh, I can’t really choose, but my favorite scene is when Vi and Jinx reunite.” Ellie nodded and listened to you speak, her eyes were following you.

“You can’t choose?” Ellie asked, she really liked being able to speak about arcane with you. Ellie then watched as you talked about her favorite scene in the show. The idea of the two sisters being reunited was a great scene, Ellie also agreed it could be a favorite.

“That’s actually one of my favorite scenes too, even though it felt pretty sad to watch.” Ellie said as she smiled at you.

“Yeah, I still cry every time I watch it.” You admit quietly.

“Me too, but I do love how the two of them can just forget their past problems just for a moment and be sisters again.” Ellie looked at you as she spoke, the two of them talking about their favorite parts of one of their favorite shows was something else. Ellie just continued to smile. “I still haven’t seen season 2, have you?”

“It only comes out next year, can’t wait!” You responded excited.

“Neither can I, I wanna see it soooo badly!” Ellie looked over at you and tried not to look too excited.

“We should watch it together! When it comes out.” Ellie just wanted to watch more cartoons with you. Ellie was starting to wonder what else the two of you could watch to keep this night going.

“You wanna watch more shows, right? I have a few others that I recommend…” You wait for Ellie to continue. Ellie looked at you and tried to think of shows that you might like. She went through her brain trying to make a list in her mind of everything you could enjoy. “We could watch Adventure Time; it is technically for kids but it’s amazing.” Ellie was kinda rambling at this point, she had way too many choices of what to watch. Ellie was also really curious about what you might wanna watch.

“Oh, I love Adventure Time! " and  "The Amazing World of Gumball"! " You said with a grin on your face.

“You like both? oh I can already tell I like you.” Ellie got really excited at this point, she never met someone who enjoyed the same shows as her this much. “We should watch one of them next, which one do you wanna watch first?” Ellie was trying not to freak out about how cool this night was turning out.

You tried to look cool when Ellie said she liked you, to not blush again.

“Why did you just turn red?” Ellie saw that you turned red at the comment she made and she was really confused as to why? She didn’t think you would care this much about her opinion. Ellie was kinda worried she made you mad or something, she didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, it’s nothing, let’s watch Adventure Time then.” You say quietly.

“Are you sure nothing is wrong?” Ellie was still looking at you, not sure if she made you mad or not. “Alright then let’s watch adventure time! What episode should we watch, just the next one in the series?”

“Sure.” Ellie put on the next episode on Adventure Time, she was super happy that you actually liked the show as well. She looked over and smiled at you, she didn’t even realize that she was smiling as hard as she was. Ellie knew that the night couldn’t get any better. It was starting to get late and you were getting sleepy. Ellie looked at the time and noticed that it was actually getting pretty late. Ellie didn’t want to ask you to leave just yet because she really wanted to talk to you more. Ellie decided to compromise and ask you to stay a little bit longer.

“Hey Y/N... are you tired at all? We could just watch one more episode if you want…”. Ellie just wanted to see your response. Ellie felt like she really enjoyed herself and didn’t wanna end the night yet.

“I’m a bit tired, I think I might head to bed.” Ellie’s heart started beating faster as you told her you were a bit tired. She was kinda disappointed, but that was expected at this point in the night. Ellie was hoping that you would say that you wanted to watch one last episode, even though she knew that her chances were low. Instead of pushing for you to stay, she thought it best to just respect her decision. Ellie smiled and replied back to you. “Yeah ok…. Well, um… alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

“See you tomorrow, Ellie.”

“Good night, Y/N.” Ellie tried to hide how sad she was now that it was the end of the night. Ellie could already tell that she wanted to see you again and spend more time with her. Ellie wasn’t gonna ask you to stay and talk anymore, she felt like one of her favorite nights was ending and there wasn’t much to do. Ellie was just glad she finally met someone like you.

You laid on your bed thinking of Ellie. Ellie was in her own room; her eyes were glued to the ceiling while she thought about you too. The past hour was amazing, but now that it was over and the two of you were in their own rooms… Ellie began to realize just how much she liked you. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast and she felt a feeling of warmth in her stomach as she thought about it more. Ellie felt like you were thinking about her too, even if you weren't. Ellie just laid there with a smile on her face from thinking about you.

You couldn’t go to sleep thinking about Ellie. How could you have had such a pleasant evening hating each other just the day before?

Ellie decided to text you, the idea of texting a girl just to talk to her seemed like such a new thing to her, but she wanted to continue speaking to you. Ellie quickly typed the message she wanted to send and sent it immediately after.

“Hey, I know it’s late, but I wanted to say that I really enjoyed spending tonight with you.” Ellie read the message back to herself at least ten times, she didn’t want to write anything that would weird you out.

Your phone buzzed. It was Ellie. You smiled at the text. " Me too Ellie" you responded. Ellie smiled when she saw your text. Ellie started to type another message, but wasn’t sure what to write. Ellie looked at her phone and reread her message about 10 more times. Ellie eventually went back to her blanket and laid there, she was still thinking of you. Just the idea that you also enjoyed the night was enough for Ellie to fall asleep. Ellie fell asleep with a smile on her face and couldn’t wait for the next morning.

You  got up early and walked to the kitchen to have breakfast. Ellie was still in bed, feeling lazy and cozy. Ellie wanted to spend as much time as possible in bed feeling comfortable. She didn’t really plan on doing anything today, it was just a normal weekend day after all. Ellie thought about you from time to time while in bed, she couldn’t really help herself. She was getting really attached to you after a single day together, it just felt so crazy to think about.

You wondered if Ellie was going to wake up. You ate and got dressed to go for a morning walk while Ellie still slept. Ellie eventually woke up at around 10:30 am, she was a pretty late sleeper. She wanted to go back to sleep almost immediately but a feeling in her gut made her decide to get up. Ellie didn’t have anything important to do today so being lazy didn’t matter too much. Ellie sat on her bed trying to figure out what to do today, and of course… She kept thinking about you and couldn’t get you off her mind.

You sat on a bench soaking in the sunlight.

Ellie walked outside; it was now around 11 am. Ellie didn’t really have anything to do today but still wanted to get some fresh air. She couldn’t stop thinking about You and her mind was full of thoughts about her. Ellie was hoping she saw you outside, maybe they could hang out again today. 

You kept thinking of Ellie and your conflicted feelings. Ellie felt the cold breeze hit her skin as she walked around. She was a little nervous about where to go now that she wasn’t in her room anymore. Ellie wanted to go to your room and see what was up, but she didn’t want to be too weird by showing up at her bedroom early. Ellie wasn’t really sure where to go now that she was outside and didn’t know when to stop looking for you.

You spotted Ellie walking. Ellie felt like someone was watching her, she looked over trying to figure out who it was. Ellie saw you as she looked over and her heart started to beat faster. Ellie walked over to you. “Oh, hey Y/N! I didn’t know you’d be outside this early!” Ellie’s face was as red as can be, she tried so hard not to look too excited to see you. “What’re you doing here?”

"Just soaking in a bit of sunlight.”

“Oh, alright! We’ll, uh… I was thinking maybe you wanna go do something right now? Like, we can maybe go get something to drink or we can watch something?” Ellie was trying not to sound too pushy but she really wanted to hang out with you right now.

You patted the seat next to yours on the bench for Ellie to sit. She slowly walked over to you and sat down on the bench. Ellie was a bit too happy to be sitting with you, she tried to calm herself down. Ellie felt like you two would be really close really fast if the day kept going the way it was going right now.

“This place is so calm and relaxing; I could stay here all day long!” Ellie pointed to the nearby trees and birds; she thought it was beautiful.

“It really is.” You looked around at all the trees. Ellie looked at you as she smiled, she loved how cozy the day felt. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast as she just looked at your face. Ellie wasn’t saying a thing right now, she just wanted to enjoy the moment. “It’s really nice sitting and talking with you here.” Ellie said after a moment of silence.

You didn’t look at Ellie, not wanting to show how happy you were. Ellie felt like she made you feel uncomfortable, she tried her best to try and put you at ease. “Hey, is it ok if I sit here and talk to you? Or did you want to just sit here and relax alone?” Ellie said she felt like she might be bothering you if she tried to stay here. “We could also just talk and not look at each other if you want to...” You nodded, “It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Alright, thank you.” Ellie smiled again as she continued to just sit there with you. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast and her face was super red. She wanted to talk more to you, she didn’t want this moment to end yet.

“So... why didn’t you like me before? I know I’m not very pleasant, but still.” Ellie thought about your question for a moment. She then looked over at you for a second and decided to just be truthful for once.

“To be honest, I didn’t really have any good reasons for not liking you…” Ellie tried to sound as honest as she could, it was nice to not lie for once. “In reality, I don’t think I could’ve ever really disliked you.” Ellie tried to hide her blushing face from you, but she didn’t know if it was working or not.

You started fidgeting with your hands, you were nervous but didn’t want to show it. Ellie noticed you fidgeting with your hands, she wondered why that was. Ellie didn’t want to embarrass you in any way , so she decided to continue the conversation and change the subject. Ellie decided to ask you another question to get her mind off of the previous subject. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Yes?”

“So, um… do you like cartoons?” Ellie was just talking about whatever came to mind to keep up with the conversation. Ellie was kinda nervous that you would see through her attempt at making small talk.

“Yes, we watched some yesterday, remember?”

“Oh, right!” Ellie laughed nervously, she was realizing how dumb she sounded just then. Ellie was nervous now, maybe you were already thinking that she was annoying? Ellie hoped you weren't annoyed already...

You saw how nervous Ellie was. She tried to just ignore how anxious she was feeling and try to act normal. Ellie was really scared that she was going to push you  away somehow and make the day really awkward. Ellie didn’t understand the reasons behind these nervous emotions she felt for you, but she also didn’t want these emotions to ruin today. Ellie felt the need to say something to keep the convo going. “Do you wanna go and watch more cartoons in my room?” Ellie said, trying to ignore her anxious mood.

“Sure Ellie. It’s starting to get cold out anyway.” Ellie smiled at you and then got up off the bench. Ellie didn’t want to force you to come into her room with her, she wanted you to choose to come inside. Ellie then turned to you and smiled. you followed Ellie as she smiled even harder, Ellie looked back at you every few seconds to make sure that you wanted to follow her to her room. Ellie couldn’t believe how well the day was going so far.

You looked around Ellie's room. Ellie’s room was a bit messy, it looked like there were just piles of clothes thrown everywhere. Ellie had no problem with this, but she wasn't sure you would be a fan of the mess in her room.  “Sorry if my room looks messy…” Ellie was afraid you would just walk out right now.

“Are these drawings yours?” You look at the wall above her bed.

“Huh? Oh yeah they are!” Ellie laughed a bit and pointed to some of her drawings in a corner in her room. Ellie was super proud of her drawings and was glad that you took a look at them. Ellie took a step closer and watched you look at her art. Ellie was glad that she showed you something about herself and was now wondering about your own art skills. “Do you like to draw or paint?”

“They are beautiful.” You say still admiring her drawings.

“Thank you, Y/N…” Ellie was really happy that you liked her drawings. Ellie wanted to try and make you show your own drawings now, she could already tell that you were probably a better artist then she was.

“Hey Y/N, do you maybe wanna show me some of your drawings?” Ellie said as she was super curious to see what you made in your free time.

“Sure, I think I took some pictures of a few with my phone.” You show Ellie your art. Ellie’s eyes brightened when you pulled out your phone. Ellie was super excited to see the drawings and was glad you would be open about your art. Ellie took a step closer to you and looked at the images on your phone. Ellie was speechless when she saw your art.

“Oh my gosh Y/N, you’re such a good artist!”

You blushed. “They’re nothing special really…”

“Oh come on Y/N, you really know how to make anything look so realistic!” Ellie kept complimenting your art, she couldn’t help herself. Ellie felt like you were way too hard on yourself and thought the art was amazing. Ellie now felt the need to try and one up you and make a better piece of art then yours. Ellie wanted to impress you so she decided to try and draw something on a piece of paper she found on her bed.

“Hey, what are you sketching there?” Ellie hid the drawing she was working on and looked over at you. Ellie then hesitated before speaking. “Oh uh… just... just a doodle...” Ellie said with a slight nervous laugh, she was starting to feel really embarrassed now. Ellie was getting really nervous that you would judge her art and end up not liking her anymore over it.

“Let me see,” You teased. Ellie felt embarrassed, you were definitely playing with her. Ellie decided to give in and show you the drawing she was working on.

“Alright… here!” Ellie showed you the drawing she was working on, she covered her face a bit so she couldn’t see your reaction to it. The drawing Ellie drew was a picture of you. Ellie got worried that you wouldn’t like it and tried to hide her smile while looking at your reaction.

You were surprised and blushed at Ellie’s drawing. Ellie felt really happy with your reaction. Ellie’s heart was beating fast, and she had a really big smile on her face. Your happiness just made everything 10 times better for Ellie. Ellie wanted to thank you for all the compliments she was getting from you. “Thank you, I’m surprised you liked my drawing of you.” Ellie smiled once again. You smiled and asked quietly. “Can I keep it?” Ellie hesitated for a second. Ellie wanted to be nice and let you have the drawing, but at the same time she wanted to keep it for herself. Ellie was conflicted for a few seconds before replying.

“Fine then...” Ellie then handed over the drawing to you. Ellie had a small smile on her face as she let you have the drawing she made of you.

“Thanks, Ellie.” Your smile grew wider.

“No problem, Y/N.” Ellie felt really happy that you liked the drawing. Ellie could tell that this was the best day in her entire life.

“Hey, uh… Y/N?” Ellie hesitated to ask. Ellie was wondering how you were so bold at times. “Can I ask you a question...?” Ellie said nervously.

“Yes?”

“How… how are you always so brave and not afraid to do or say things?” Ellie asked with a serious look on her face, she wanted an answer badly and to learn more about you. Ellie wanted to be as confident and bold as you as of right now.

“Hum... I’m not always like that…”

“But you seem so confident most of the time, you just say things and don’t let yourself hesitate.” Ellie sounded a little jealous in her tone. Ellie tried to hold in how impressed she was with your personality. Ellie felt like her whole personality was changing now just because of one person.

“I think it’s so no one really notices how anxious I am all the time.” You said, looking at the ground embarrassed. Ellie’s heart beat fast at this comment, she felt bad for you and the fact that you were always anxious in social situations. Ellie was a little shocked that you would go through all of that every time you talked to someone. “Hey Y/N, if you are ever nervous talking to people, you can always talk to me. I promise that I’ll never feel like you’re bothering me.” Ellie said with a slight smile.

“Thanks Ellie, it’s okay though.” Ellie felt even worse when you said it was alright and that you didn’t need to be anxious around her. Ellie just wanted to feel like she could help you in some way. “Hey, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you needed someone to listen to you.” Ellie sounded pretty serious about this topic. “I mean, you can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you no matter what you’d have to say.”

“Why are you being so nice?” You asked a bit lost in your thoughts. Ellie was surprised by the question. She was even a little shocked, she took a few seconds to think about an answer and not sound weird. “I just… I just like making people happy and I don’t want you to feel like you have no one. I feel like you’re a really cool person and I don’t wanna make you feel like no one cares about you.” Ellie smiled. “… you can ask me anything as well if you want...”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this before? I really thought you didn’t like me for the longest time…” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie got a little awkward hearing this. Ellie was worried this made it seem like she wasn’t interested in you this whole time. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you earlier that I liked talking to you. The main reason I didn’t is probably because I was nervous…” Ellie then went silent for a second. Ellie quickly changed the subject before too many awkward questions got asked. “So, um… can I ask you another question now?”

“Yes?” Ellie took a second before asking her question. She didn’t wanna ask you a weird question and make you uncomfortable. Ellie then decided to just ask a question about yourself. Ellie was super curious about your past and how she is the way she is. “Hey Y/N… how did you get into art?” Y/N smiled softly.

“I have always liked drawing since I was a kid I guess.”

“Oh, that’s cool Y/N.” Ellie thought it was cute that you always liked art ever since you were a kid. Ellie then looked over at you, she was now super curious about one thing that she wanted to ask you. Ellie was quiet as she thought about this question for a second. “H-hey Y/N…” Ellie hesitated to speak at first, but she got the feeling that she had to say what she was thinking. “Why were you always so mean before?”

“It's a defense mechanism, I think.” You responded, shyly. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast at that answer. She felt awful for you, she knew you probably had a rough childhood and used your defense mechanism as a way to cope with it. Ellie now just wanted to hug you, she wanted to show that she’d always care about you.

“Well… even if you feel like you need it as a defense mechanism, I can promise you that you don’t need it around me…” Ellie said while still looking at you  in the eyes. You felt nervous. Ellie kept staring at you as she saw that you were feeling anxious. Ellie was trying to make you as comfortable as possible. Ellie then decided to get even closer. She wanted to let you know that she was gonna be here for you. Ellie smiled as she said.

“Please don’t feel nervous, I’m never gonna judge you… Ever.” Ellie then leaned in and gave you a quick hug like she wanted. You looked at Ellie and smiled softly. You then touched Ellies hand. 

“Thank you.” Ellie felt even happier when you thanked her for hugging you. Ellie felt like her and you were already closer friends and that was just awesome, Ellie then realized something. She never held someone’s hand like this, at this point it seemed like the two of you were getting really close. Ellie’s cheeks turned red as she was now blushing. Ellie was quiet for a second before trying to change the subject. “I wonder what time it is right now?”

“Hmm... “ You looked at your phone to see the time. Ellie decided to also check her phone to see what time it was. Ellie was surprised to see it was already 4:00 pm.

“My goodness, the day is flying by already?! I don’t want it to end!” Ellie said jokingly. Ellie then turned to you and smiled.

“Hey Y/N… do you ever have anything more planned for today or are you just hanging around? Ellie wanted to get to know her friend a bit more.

“It’s the weekend so I don’t have anything planned.” You said casually.

“So you’re free today? Well... um... what if I ask you something then?” Ellie was very nervous at the question she was going to ask. “H-hey Y/N… d-do you maybe wanna hang out for a little bit? I-It’s ok if you don’t want to." Ellie said she was super embarrassed to ask the question but decided to do it anyway.

“Sure, I think I would like that.” Ellie was surprised when you agreed to hang out with her. Ellie could now see herself just talking and hanging out with you all day.

“Oh… t-thank you Y/N… I actually really needed this today…” Ellie gave you a bright smile as her cheeks became a little red. Ellie was really excited to spend time with you and she couldn’t wait to talk to you even more.

“Are you okay?” You asked Ellie. She was surprised at the question. Ellie didn’t even notice that her emotions must have been noticeable on her face.

“O-oh… um... yeah I’m fine… you don’t need to worry about me.” Ellie said awkwardly, her face turning even redder as she tried to hide how she was smiling at you. Ellie felt a little uncomfortable telling you how she felt, she wanted to stay away from her own emotions as much as possible.

“Oh, okay.” You said looking around the room. Ellie then had an idea, she wanted to figure out a way to change the subject. Ellie didn’t want to get all emotional again and have you notice. “Hey… I uh… have a question for you...” Ellie said while slightly hesitating.

“yes?”

“Hum… What do you like to do for fun? I mean besides art of course.” Ellie was curious about Y/N’s interests and what you liked to spend your time doing. Ellie was kinda hoping to join you in your hobby, just so she could spend more time withyou. Ellie wanted to learn more about you and now she had the perfect chance to do so.

“I love video games even though I suck at them.” You smile. Ellie was surprised when you said you loved video games. Ellie loved video games too! Ellie got really excited when she heard you liked them too, now she had another way to interact with you. “Wait .. you’re telling me that you like video games?” Ellie’s eyes lit up and she was now super happy.

“Yeah, what’s your favorite?” You asked her Ellie was so surprised this was a thing that she and you both liked. Ellie really wanted to ask if they could play games together now. Ellie thought about if she was asking too much, but then decided to ask anyway.

“O-oh uh… i uh… l-like a lot of video games actually… I-I actually really like… playing horror games.” Ellie said nervously, she was now trying to think of how you could ask you if she wanted to play video games together.

“Shall we play one together? Just be warned I’m really bad at them” You smiled.

“Oh, I don’t mind if you’re not good at them! I’m fine with it!” Ellie sounded excited in her tone, she was just happy that you agreed to play with her. Ellie felt like she was gonna be closer to you because of your gaming interests. “How about… we play one of your favorite video games first?” Ellie said with a slight smile on her face.

“How about some Mario Kart to start?” Ellie then realized that she never really played any Super Mario games before, but was very happy that she got to try out a new game for the first time. “Sounds good to me!” Ellie smiled.

“Oh, alright then. Do you wanna start?” Ellie now felt even more excited to play the game. Ellie didn’t realize this was one of your favorite games! Ellie now had a really good impression of you now; she was starting to understand what kind of person you were outside of being artistic. Ellie felt even closer to you now than she did when they first met.

“Let's go!” You both start playing.

“Heh… this already seems fun!” Ellie now understood your enthusiasm for video games. Ellie was very focused on the game and tried to get into it as much as she could. She was starting to think that this was also one of her favorite games as well. Ellie kept playing the game, she was having so much fun and she wanted to spend as much time with you . Ellie even felt like the two of you were getting a bit closer already.

“Whoa, you're definitely cheating!” You tease Ellie.

Ellie felt embarrassed after hearing you accusing her of cheating. Ellie was just trying to play the game as well as she could. Ellie tried to defend herself. “Hey! I’m not cheating! I just… I’m just good at playing the game!” Ellie sounded like she was joking, but she really wasn’t cheating. Ellie didn’t want you to think she was cheating on this Super Mario game.

You laughed. “Just messing with you!” You nudge Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie was happy that you laughed. Ellie had a big smile on her face and even giggled a bit when she got nudged by you. Ellie then nudged your shoulder as well. She was then silent as she kept playing the game. Ellie won. She was proud that she won, but at the same time felt bad for you that she lost. Ellie thought about asking you to play again right now. Ellie didn’t wanna brag about winning.

“Hey Y/N… can we play again?” Ellie asked with a nervous smile on her face.

“Okay, but I'm going to win this time, just you wait!” Ellie smiled at you and just knew that it was gonna be super fun. Ellie liked how confident and competitive you were. Ellie got her controller ready and was excited to play! She then decided to get the game started and the characters picked. Ellie decided to go with her favorite character, Luigi! She got ready to try her hardest to win this time. Ellie was silent as she got ready for the game to start again. You chose Peach and then started the game.

Ellie was super focused, she really wanted to win so she tried her absolute hardest to not make any mistakes. Ellie looked out for any power ups or any good opportunity she could use to her advantage to win this game and beat you. Ellie was silent as she was playing this time. Ellie’s smile faded once she made a mistake and was now trying to recover. Ellie felt a bit nervous as she didn’t know if she was gonna win this time. You were in the lead, smiling.

Ellie’s eyes filled with worry as she saw that you were in the lead and winning. Ellie couldn’t help but try her hardest to get it back from her. Ellie was still a little nervous that she wasn’t gonna win this time. She tried to do everything in her power just to try and catch up with you and win the game. Ellie’s face was filled with concentration as she kept.

You stuck her tongue out in concentration. Ellie was trying not to laugh when she saw you sticking your tongue out in concentration. Ellie tried to hold back and focus on the game and winning. Ellie was in close second place in this game now though. Ellie’s heart started beating faster as she was a little excited that she was this close to winning the game. Ellie stayed quiet still for now and focused on playing. Ellie was super excited and nervous at the same time.

You won the game and jumped excitedly as it ended Ellie felt her heart beat quickly when she lost. Ellie was so close to winning but then got beat at the end! She felt a mix of emotions when the game ended. Ellie’s face was a mix of shock and disappointment. Ellie was not only happy she got to spend time with you but a little sad she didn’t win the game. 

You celebrated for a bit and tripped landing on Ellie, her face grew bright red. Ellie felt surprised when you tripped and fell onto her and felt a bit embarrassed. Ellie then started laughing a little when she saw that your face turned bright red. Ellie could now see your real face, it was super cute. Ellie’s face was a mix of embarrassment and laughing while smiling at you. She felt a little hot and got nervous.

You quickly recomposed herself, embarrassed. “Sorry about that.”

Ellie still smiled and said: “O-oh it’s completely fine...” Ellie then realized how close her face was to yours. Ellie quickly turned her head away from yours just so she wouldn’t get too embarrassed. Now Ellie’s face was bright red too. You sat, both really nervous. Ellie felt like it got super silent all of a sudden. She couldn’t help but feel nervous after what just happened. Ellie was wondering how she could continue this conversation and get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

You relaxed a bit and held Ellies hand looking straight ahead at the tv, still nervous. Ellie was stunned to be honest when you suddenly decided to hold her hand.  Ellie’s face felt really hot as she had no clue how to respond to this situation. For now, Ellie stayed silent. Ellie then started to play with your hand a little bit. Ellie wanted to make you even more comfortable and closer to her.

You felt Ellies touch and got butterflies. Ellie felt like she was melting. Ellie liked holding your hand and it felt really nice. She then held your hand a little closer to her chest. She liked the feeling of having you so close to her now and didn’t wanna break this precious moment. Ellie was quiet as she still played with your hand a little bit.

You got really nervous and took your hand back. “Sorry. huh... I think I should go...”

Ellie felt her stomach sink to hear that. Ellie felt hurt when you took your hand away. She was now left silent and felt like she could say anything to get you to stay with her. Ellie’s eyes looked at you but she didn’t say anything for now. She was just waiting for you to say something…

“I’m sorry, I... see you tomorrow yeah?” You left her room feeling super anxious about what happened and headed to your own bedroom.

Ellie was shocked to see you leave. She was super confused about why you left so suddenly. Ellie was scared that she did something wrong and wanted you to know she cared about you. Ellie didn’t want you to leave at all.

You couldn't believe how close you and Ellie had been. You closed your bedroom door and sat down playing the moment in your head. Ellie then slowly got up from the couch and knocked on your door. She was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were alright. Ellie just couldn’t bring herself to leave her friend like this. “Y/N… are you okay? Please...” Ellie hesitated for a bit. “Can I come inside?”

You don't respond waiting for Ellie to go away. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you just like that. Ellie kept knocking on the door for a bit before finally deciding to just open the door herself. Ellie felt kind of bad for opening the door without any permission but she just didn’t want to leave you alone like that. Ellie was quiet as she just didn’t wanna say anything wrong. “I’m sorry for just opening the door like that...”

You looked up, nervous. Ellie kept her eyes on you and said. “Y/N… can you please tell me what happened? Why did you just leave like that? It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it but please… tell me what happened.”

Ellie looked worried when talking to you. Ellie still wanted to know what happened but she also didn’t want to push you too much. She was now silent while waiting for a response.

You didn’t know how to respond.  “I think I just got too anxious. Ellie saw that you were kinda embarrassed and anxious. Ellie realized that she definitely put some pressure on you asking you stuff. She then tried to lighten the tone a bit.

“Oh, it’s alright… you don’t have to tell me anything…  I just don’t wanna do anything that ends up hurting your feelings or making you feel a little anxious.” Ellie smiled sweetly at you and looked a little worried.

“Thanks, Ellie. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? “ You wanted to be alone to calm down right now

Ellie saw you and nodded her head. Ellie understood that you  just needed to be left alone for now. Ellie didn’t really wanna leave you but understood why she had to do it. She let out a small sigh. “Okay... see you tomorrow, Y/N.” Ellie walked out and closed the door behind her.

You let out a long sigh when the door closed.

Ellie walked back to her room as well and then sat down on her bed. She just felt a bit disappointed in herself. She wondered, “What did I do wrong this time?” Ellie just tried to be nice to you and it ended up like this… Ellie just couldn’t comprehend what made you leave. Ellie just felt a bit scared she might not even be friends with you anymore …

You got in bed and tried to sleep. Ellie got into bed as well but couldn’t sleep. Ellie felt even more anxious and worried about what she did. She realized she had to do something or else the tension between her and you wouldn’t get fixed at all. Ellie then got up and decided to go over to your room to talk. Ellie couldn’t just wait around and do nothing and wanted to apologize as quickly as possible. Ellie didn’t wanna wait until morning…

You heard a knock at your door. Ellie waited a few seconds before knocking again at the door. She just hoped that you would answer and let her in already. Ellie really wanted to talk to you and see if all the tension between the two of them could just be fixed. She kept knocking for a few more seconds waiting for you to answer.

“Yes?”

“Can I please come in?” Ellie sounded so nervous. She was almost begging for you to just let her inside already. Ellie thought of you as a close friend and this was the last person she wanted to upset.

“Yes, come in Ellie.” You sat up in your bed. Ellie quickly walked inside and closed the door. Ellie went to go sit next to you and just had to try and explain herself. Ellie’s face was filled with concern. “Y/N… can I... talk about what happened before? Please I just….” Ellie froze for a second and didn’t say anything for a bit, she just didn’t wanna mess anything up again.

“It's my fault. I’m sorry.” You said hugging your own legs. Ellie looked surprised to see you blame yourself. Ellie then decided to at least try and assure you it’s not her fault.

“No Y/N… please. This isn’t your fault at all. You don’t have to worry.” Ellie smiled at you and just wanted to make you know everything was alright. Ellie stayed silent for a bit. “Can I please just know why you suddenly left like that?”

“I never... I never held someone’s hand like that and I got scared I think...” Ellie felt super surprised to hear what you just said. She then felt a bit confused but also interested at the same time.

“Y/N… What do you mean? Have you never held someone’s hand before?” Ellie felt a little shocked to say this. Ellie looked at you  with a confused look on her face.

You looked down. “No, I know you’ve had a few relationships but I’ve never done anything like this before.” Ellie had her suspicions that you didn’t really have this kind of experience at all. “… so let me get this right. You had never held anyone’s hand… especially another girl…?” Ellie’s face was filled with curiosity now. Ellie looked at you and expected a response.

You nodded embarrassed. Ellie now felt kind of bad for you as she could tell you were feeling embarrassed about this. “Oh wow… so I guess I was sort of your first person to do that with?” Ellie asked while smiling at you. 

“Yeah, you were... and I felt too overwhelmed…” Ellie looked at you for a few seconds. She was surprised to hear that she was your first girl to go this far with. Ellie felt more concern hearing this come from you. She didn’t know how to respond. Ellie saw your face turn bright red, almost as if you were blushing. Ellie was thinking of ways to comfort and make you feel more comfortable again. She didn’t want to have anything awkward or uncomfortable like this happen again between you.

“Y/N… you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m here for you if you need it.” Ellie said, looking at you. Ellie knew she couldn’t say any more words to make you feel better. She knew words wouldn’t really change anything. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you alone like this because she didn’t wanna hurt your feelings. She was kinda scared to say anything now.

“I’ve never been with a girl before. I had a boyfriend or two but realized I didn’t really like boys.”

Ellie felt curious to know more details. “Oh… if you don’t mind me asking, what made you realize you didn’t like boys anymore?”

“Never felt attracted to them but I tried since it seemed to be what everybody did.” Ellie felt sad to hear that you didn’t feel that attraction when it came to boys but Ellie understood why you would’ve tried it out since it seems like a lot of people did it too. “Oh… I’m sorry to hear that you felt like you had to try those kinds of things just because everybody else did it.” Ellie paused for a second. “Did you ever feel attracted to me at all?”

You blushed when Ellie asked that. Ellie smiled when she saw you blushing at her question. “Y/N… do you wanna know why I asked you that question?” You looked at Ellie waiting for her to speak. “Well, I’m gonna be honest with you here… I felt kinda attracted to you myself.” Ellie looked down at her lap feeling nervous when saying this. Ellie was almost red at this point, she was so nervous about how you would respond to her statement. You blushed even more as if  that could be possible. You did know what to respond, but you had had a crush on Ellie since forever. You just hid it really well.

“Y/N… can I tell you something?”

“Yes Ellie”? You asked nervous.

Ellie took a deep breath before saying what she wanted to say. She was shaking a bit due to the nervousness. “Y/N… I have to say… I’ve had a crush on you… for a while now…” Ellie waited to see your response to this. Ellie was starting to sweat. She was so nervous.

You looked Ellie in her green eyes. Ellie didn’t really know what to say next when she met your eyes.  “Y/N… I wanna let you know that I’ve felt like this for quite a while and I feel so lucky that I can be friends with you.” Ellie  felt like she just couldn’t look away from your eyes. She felt her heart beating loudly against her chest. 

“So... that was why you were always teasing me before?” You smiled. Ellie just nodded yes when you asked her. Ellie smiled shyly again when you smiled at her for that comment. She felt like she could get closer to you again.

Ellie then put her arm around you as she smiled and then slowly pulled you closer to her. Ellie then hugged you before saying. “I’m so glad you’re my friend…”

You got caught by surprise when Ellie hugged you at first but then you  hugged Ellie back. She then started to lean on you a little bit. Ellie was feeling so comfortable and relaxed now. Ellie just wanted to be closer to you. Ellie now laid her head on your chest as she also felt your arm lay on top of her. She then decided to move her head to your neck before saying. “Your neck feels so soft….” Ellie said this in a very gentle but also teasing way, she smiled sweetly again.

“Ellie, this is a lot to process.”

Ellie looked up at you again, she was now holding your hand. “Hey… don’t worry too much about it alright? I’m glad you at least know what I feel for you now. You don’t have to say anything either. Just know that I’m here for you if you need anything… always!”

You look at Ellie sweetly. Ellie smiled back and just kept holding your hand as she now wanted to cuddle with you a bit. Ellie wanted to sit you on her lap. “Come on… let’s cuddle a little bit.” Ellie said while pointing towards her lap in a sweet way.

You sat closer to Ellie as she then gently pulled you onto her lap. Ellie was starting to gently rub your back. She whispered to you. “I’m glad I can finally cuddle you and hold you this close… I’ve wanted to do this for so long…”

You melted into the cuddle not really believing this was happening right now. Ellie continued to cuddle with you as she felt pretty happy. “Y/N…. Can I say something?”

“What is it?”

“… I’ve always wanted to cuddle with you and just wanted to be close to you forever… I even imagined things like this but always thought it would never happen. And now that it’s actually happening … I can’t believe it. I’m just so happy right now.” Ellie’s face had the biggest smile ever. Ellie looked at you again while still cuddling. Ellie wanted to say more stuff but didn’t want it to be too much for you.

You blushed more and your heart was beating really fast. Ellie could tell that you were feeling nervous and shy at this moment. She decided to whisper something so she put her lips very close to your ear and just whispered. “You’re honestly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.” Ellie then slowly kissed you on the neck. Ellie felt her heart racing too.

You almost jumped as Ellie kissed your neck. Ellie stopped for a moment and looked at you. Ellie pulled you towards her and started to kiss you on the lips. She was starting to feel a bit light headed. You were surprised by the kiss at first. After a few seconds you kissed Ellie back. But you were really nervous though.

Ellie kept kissing you as she wanted to express all her feelings. Ellie just felt so overwhelmed by the feelings right now and she didn’t wanna hide it from you anymore. Ellie’s face was now completely red due to the amount of blushing. She loved every moment of this kiss.

You broke the kiss. She was a bit flustered. “Ellie... I...”

“What is it?” Ellie looked really surprised to hear you say “Ellie…” like you just had to say something. Ellie was just a bit confused. Ellie now thought of another thing to say.“Y/N… that was the best kiss ever.” Ellie said this in a really soft and romantic tone.

Your heart felt like it was going to jump right out of your chest as Ellie said that. Ellie then got closer and gently started to kiss you again. Ellie’s face was still red. She just wanted to keep expressing how she felt and showing you how much she loved you.

“Ellie.... I’m... I think I’m not ready for more yet... this is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never done this before...”

Ellie was pretty surprised when you said this as she thought of how she was the one who wanted to keep doing it. “Oh… well it’s fine… you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do alright?” Ellie tried to sound as sweet and gentle with her tone as possible.

You went back to hugging Ellie. She hugged you back as tightly as possible. Ellie’s face was still red as she hugged you. Ellie just kept her lips near your ear as she whispered. “Thank you… thank you so much…” Ellie continued to hug you as she was still very happy.

“Ells I think maybe we should go to sleep. It's late.”

Ellie thought for a second, she didn’t wanna leave you yet. “You’re right… but can I at least lay my head on your shoulder for the night? Can I please stay with you a bit more?” Ellie was now trying to convince you to let her stay with her a little longer.

“Okay. “ You agreed. You both laid in your bed and Ellie put her head on your shoulder before going to sleep. Ellie was feeling happy but also kinda tired at the same time. She was now falling asleep with a smile on her face from what just happened a little while ago. 

You fell asleep feeling happy. You couldn’t believe Ellie liked you. Ellie couldn’t stop smiling as she was laying down with you. Ellie was starting to think if she should kiss you again but decided not to since it was late. She looked up at the ceiling and just started to slowly drift into a deep sleep.

As the morning came Ellie slowly opened her eyes. Ellie then realized she was in your bed. Ellie was pretty surprised as she sat up while covering herself with the sheets. She looked over at you to see if she was awake yet or not. You were still asleep. Ellie then decided to lie back down on your shoulder and just watched you as you slept. Ellie was really curious to know what you were thinking about. You seemed like you were dreaming about something.

Ellie continued to watch you as you slept trying to get any idea of what was happening in your dream. She was just very curious but also didn’t want to wake you up just yet. Ellie was really just hoping you were having a good dream at least.

Your breaths start getting heavier. Ellie noticed then took a deep breath before saying something. “Hey there… Are you starting to wake up?” Ellie wanted to know if you were finally waking up. Ellie was really hoping you were still having a good dream though. You make an uncomfortable face while still asleep.

Ellie noticed you making some kind of face. Ellie then gently shook your shoulder to see if you would fully wake up. Ellie didn’t want you to have a bad dream or be uncomfortable. You were having a nightmare. Ellie didn’t wanna have you wake up and remember this nightmare. Ellie kissed you on the cheek. Ellie looked for your reaction to the kiss, she hoped this could cheer you up. You opened her eyes and were surprised and almost scared to see Ellie looking at you since you normally sleep alone. Ellie quickly gave a reassuring smile as she noticed you woke up and looked at her. “Hey… I noticed that you weren’t having such a good dream. It’s okay… you’re awake now. You don’t have to be worried when I’m around you alright.” Ellie  smiled again before kissing your cheek. Ellie wanted to cheer you up as soon as possible.

You eventually calmed down. “Good morning, Ellie.”

Ellie then started to feel a bit awkward since she wasn’t sure what to say now after you spoke to her.

“Good morning… Are you feeling alright now?” Ellie still wanted you to feel okay. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, you?”

Ellie felt pretty happy to hear that you were now feeling okay. “Yeah, I’m feeling alright… I was a bit worried after I noticed that you were having a nightmare.” Ellie waited for your response again after she said that. She wanted to know if you were alright now or not.

You stop for a moment remembering your nightmare, You didn’t really want to talk about it. “I’m okay.”  You held Ellie’s hand. Ellie noticed that you didn’t want to talk about your nightmare. Ellie smiled at you as she held your hand.

“Well… I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a bit. Sound, okay? I’m gonna make something for both of us.” Ellie opened the door of your bedroom and walked out while blushing.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there in a few moments.” Ellie then closed the door and walked off to the kitchen to get things ready for you and her. She wanted to make a big breakfast in order to cheer you up. Ellie started to make the breakfast as she wanted things to be perfect.

You went to the bathroom and washed your face. Ellie was still in the kitchen, almost done. Ellie put the last thing in and set it down on the table. Ellie was pretty proud of what she made for you. Ellie hoped that you would like what she made. She walked into the living room.  “Hey, breakfast is ready now. Do you wanna join me?”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” You said finishing your business in the bathroom.

Ellie was pretty happy to hear that you would be joining her for breakfast. She walked up to the table and sat down just waiting for you. Ellie then grabbed a fork and started to eat some of her own breakfast. You joined Ellie, happy that she made breakfast for the two of you.

Ellie smiled at you and invited her to sit next to her. Ellie wanted to know what you thought about the food. “Y/N, try my food… I made this just for you. See if you like it.”

Ellie was a bit excited to hear your response. “It’s really good Ellie, thank you.”

Ellie smiled at you and felt happy that you liked the food. Ellie then kept eating her own food, she just liked having you so close to her. Ellie then finished eating and looked at you to see if she was done too. Ellie was just feeling happy now and a bit tired too. “I’ll be in my room now… you can find me there whenever you need me, okay?”

“Okay Ells.” Ellie then got up and walked away from the table. She was going back to her own room while trying to hold back on blushing. Ellie sat down on her bed and just kept thinking about you and what happened last night between you. Ellie was tired and decided to go to sleep. 

You clean up the table and head to her own bedroom. Ellie continued to sleep as she was feeling really tired. Ellie was now dreaming about you and was smiling a lot in her dream. She felt really happy and at peace right now in her dream.

You sat in your bed thinking about last night’s events. You were happy but conflicted at the same time. How could Ellie change so much in just a couple of days? She used to act like she hated you before every time they interacted. She still remembers all the nasty arguments they’ve had.

Ellie was sleeping deeply and  was still dreaming about you and was holding her hands while they slept. Ellie felt a lot of things for you and just wanted to be with you for the rest of her life. Ellie still kept holding onto you  in her dream. She would never let you go.

You decided to go and talk to Dina, your mutual friend. Maybe she could give some advice. You headed to Dina’s house and knocked on the door. You were thinking of what you should even say to Dina right now. You were just feeling a bit anxious and didn’t know how you could explain her situation. You waited for Dina to come to the door. “Hi Dina! Can I come in? I need some advice on something.” Dina let you come inside and closed the door behind you. Dina looked at you and was curious to see what she needed when it came to advice.. “Okay, what do you need advice on?”

“You know me and Ellie got assigned as roommates, right?”

Dina nodded as she started to speak. “Yes, of course I remember. You 2 were assigned as roommates.” Dina just kept a steady look at you.

“You know how me and her always break into fights and arguments all the time…” Dina nodded once again as she kept listening to what you were saying. Dina had a feeling she knew where this was leading to but was curious to hear you speak anyway.

“Ellie kissed me last night, Dina. I don’t know how to feel…”

Dina started to look confused as she realized that this was what this was about. “Wait… what? Ellie kissed you?” Dina was a bit surprised when she heard this because she thought Ellie hated you. Dina kept listening to you while trying to make sense of everything.

“Yeah, and she said she had a crush on me for the longest time and I can’t understand why she was always so mean to me” Dina was just really confused as to what was going on. “Wait… so Ellie has liked you for a while now?” Dina was just trying to get a better understanding of what the whole situation was like between Ellie and you.

“That’s what she told me. And you know I like girls but I’ve never been with one and don’t want this to end badly.” Dina was really listening to what you were telling her and was a bit confused on why Ellie was actually mean to you.

“Huh… So Ellie liked you for a while now and has kept it a secret?” Dina then smiled when you mentioned that you liked girls. “So… you like Ellie too then?”

“I think so, I don’t know. She seems like a whole different person right now.”

Dina then started to speak again to you. “Yeah, that is strange… Ellie didn’t really act like she liked you at all. Especially since she’s always been so mean to you. But… does that mean you want to be with her then?”

“That’s why I’m here, do you think this is a good idea?”

Dina thought about this question for a bit before she spoke. “If I’m being honest with you… I do think it sounds like a pretty good idea… just give it a try and see what happens. Just don’t try to force anything… be yourself and just think about what makes you comfortable with each other okay?” Dina just wanted you to listen to her words and know that she was always there for you.

“Thanks Dina. “ Dina invited you to her party later that day. “No problem, honey… oh, and I’m also planning on throwing a party in a couple of hours.” Dina then looked at you and waited for your response. Dina wanted to make sure you were fine with this. “You can come if you want… it’s just gonna be a few people.”

“That sounds good, I’ll see if Ellie wants to come too. “

You hug Dina. Dina hugged you back. “Alright, just see if you can bring Ellie too.” Dina then let go of you as she was still smiling. “See you later then Dins, bye! Thank you for the advice!” Dina smiled again and nodded. “No problem… talk to you later honey!” Dina then went back to her own apartment and she closed the door behind her.

You were feeling better after the talk she had with Dina about you and Ellie and were now just thinking about what Ellie really feels. You then shook your head and tried to not think about that any longer. You then started to think about what to do with the rest of her day. You get home and go to your bedroom to pick her outfit for the party.

Ellie was still feeling a bit awkward about breakfast. Ellie then sat on her bed and started to get dressed. She thought for a moment about what outfit to choose for the day. Ellie eventually decided to put on her favorite flannel and her trusty black converse. 

“Hey Ellie! Dina invited us for a party at her house in a bit. You want to come too?”

Ellie noticed that you were done putting your outfit on. “Hey, Y/N, yeah, sounds fun.” A few minutes pass and Ellie is nervous.  “Hey, are you ready to go? The party should be starting soon.”

“Almost ready!”

Ellie smiled at you and spoke. “Okay, then we ought to get going. The party isn’t that far away and I think it’s about to start.” Ellie started to walk towards the front door while also expecting you to follow her.

Ellie looks at you in your favorite dress all dolled up. Ellie then smiled and was really proud of the dress you chose. Ellie then went over to you and gently put her hand on your shoulder. “You look really beautiful… I really love that dress. It suits you really well.”

Ellie then leaned in and kissed your cheek. It was like Ellie couldn’t resist flirting with you. She felt a bit flustered around you after you kissed her last night.

“Thanks Ellie, you look nice too! Let’s go then.”

Ellie smiled again while still blushing a bit. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door with you. Ellie felt a bit happy now while also feeling a bit nervous about the party. No one knew you were okay together. Everyone still thinks you two hate each other. Except Dina but Ellie doesn’t know that yet. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door. Ellie felt a bit happy while also feeling nervous about what you would do while you were at the party. Ellie doesn’t know you told Dina about your kissing yesterday. Ellie continued to walk through the city streets with you right next to her.

“So, this party is just gonna be a really small event… Dina invited me earlier today to it.” You said. Ellie smiled and kept holding your hand.

“It’s gonna be fun to spend some time with friends and to relax before the day ends.”

“Yeah Ells, it’s gonna be fun, I think Jesse is going too.”

Ellie smiled again and was happy to hear that her friend Jesse was also going to be at the party. Ellie then continued to hold your hand. “Yeah, it’s gonna be fun! And it’ll be nice to see him.”

You arrive at Dina’s house. You both knocked on Dina’s door so she would let you in. After a few moments, Dina opened up the door. Dina smiled when she saw Ellie and you there. “Ellie! Y/N! You two are finally here… the party is about to start!” Dina invited both of you into her apartment. “Hi Dins! you look amazing!” You keep talking to Dina. 

Ellie doesn’t feel ready for everyone to know about you two and goes to sit in the living room. Dina smiled and nodded when she saw Ellie in the living room. Ellie sat down on a sofa and started to feel tense. Ellie was worried that you would tell everyone about your situation soon. Ellie couldn’t stop thinking about this and just kept trying to relax herself.

You and Dina started talking and Ellie couldn’t resist listening. Ellie kept listening in on what You and Dina were talking about. Ellie noticed that you were talking about how things between you and Ellie went over the past few days. Ellie felt worried as well because she didn’t want Dina telling anyone what they had just done the night before. Ellie felt a bit nervous while still keeping an ear on the conversation.

You notice Ellie looking at you. Ellie then blushed since she knew you were watching her. She then turned away while trying to stay quiet on the sofa. The music started playing as Jesse arrived with the drinks. Dina looked over at Jesse as he arrived. Ellie started to feel worried as well as she saw Jesse walk over to them.

“Hey!” Ellie greeted Jesse. “Missed you man!” Jesse smiled at Ellie as he put down the bottles he was carrying. “Hey Ellie! Nice to see you again, how’ve you been?” Jesse then looked over at you. “Come and take a drink everyone! “ Jesse said loudly. Dina and Ellie both decided to get drinks and walked over to Jesse. Ellie took a drink while she spoke. “Thanks Jesse, and I’ve been doing alright. How about you?” Ellie was smiling while she spoke and felt a bit better after having her first drink of the night. Ellie smiled a bit more as she started to talk while she was drinking. “It’s so nice to relax… I needed this. Thanks Jesse.” Ellie drank a bit more she kept smiling now.

*An hour passes*

Ellie was feeling more relaxed because she was drunk right now. Ellie was dancing to some of the music and was having fun while also watching you and Dina dance together.

Ellie spoke to Jesse. “Jesse… you know… this party is a lot of fun right? I haven’t felt this relaxed since… well... since now.”

Ellie felt like she was in her own world. She starts to forget about the past few days due to the drinking and starts dancing with another girl. Ellie was having so much fun dancing with the girl that she wasn’t thinking about what had happened the other days. Dina and you were dancing with each other and were having a good time as well. You looked at Ellie and saw she was dancing with another girl. You felt nauseous.

Ellie kept dancing with the girl who was just enjoying herself as well. Ellie was so drunk that she didn’t even notice that you were seeing her dance with the other girl. She just kept dancing with her and having a great time. Ellie then spoke to the girl she was dancing with. “Hey! You know… you’re a really good dancer…” Ellie then laughed a bit and kept dancing. They were touching bodies and almost kissing her. Ellie kept dancing with the girl and was smiling so much. She felt so free doing this right now. Ellie just kept dancing and drinking. Ellie laughed a little bit when the girl kissed her. It’s like Ellie was drunk to the point where she was forgetting that you were even there.

You ask Dina who the girl is. Dina spoke as she was dancing with you. “Oh, I only know her first name… which is Jenny. She actually works with me and asked me if she could tag along with this party.” Dina was now just keeping an eye on Ellie while dancing “I think I know her? Wasn’t Ellie in love with her at some point?” Dina then looked at you and spoke. “I’m not sure if Ellie was in love with her because Ellie never told me.” Dina then kept dancing with you as she saw Ellie drinking some more.

“Come honey, no need for you to be watching this, I’ll go give Ellie a talking.” Dina said. “I’ll be right back.”

Dina left you in the kitchen and went over to talk to Ellie. Ellie was drunk and didn’t seem to care that this was happening. The girls kept dancing while they were kissing. Ellie looked happy now as she was kissing Jenny. Dina pulled Ellie out of there and far away from the girl.  "Are you stupid or just plain mean?" Dina asked Ellie. She was still drunk and didn’t respond to Dina immediately. Ellie thought back to what she just did and couldn’t believe she did that to you.

“I-I… I don't even know what came over me… I was just thinking about Y/N and then this girl just came up and-“ Ellie started to feel a bit upset as she was remembering what she just did.

“That's no excuse!” Dina said. A few of the other people at the party heard Dina and Ellie arguing. “Dina… I’m really sorry… I-I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better. I should’ve just controlled my feelings better…” Ellie was trying to fight back the tears that were starting to roll down her cheeks. Ellie felt so mad at herself for doing what she did. “You better tell Y/N that then!” Dina almost shouted at Ellie. Ellie then sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes as she started to calm herself down. “Yeah… I need to talk to her…” Ellie was now ready to set everything straight with you.

You had left Dina’s house in a hurry, to get away from Ellie, crying. Ellie saw you leave. She started to chase after you. Ellie didn’t want you to be crying. She managed to catch up. “Y/N, wait… let me explain… I’m really-“

Before Ellie could even finish her sentence, you turned and started to walk away again.

You stop in her tracks and look at Ellie.  "I can’t believe you just did that." You were mad and hurt.  Ellie then slowly stopped as she saw you turn to look at her. Ellie wiped her eyes and spoke. “Y/N… I was drunk and wasn’t thinking straight… I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have even danced with that girl and… and I shouldn’t have kissed her.” Ellie then looked away as she felt ashamed for what she just did.

“Am I just a toy to you?  Forget it… I’m going home, just leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait!” Ellie then tried to keep you from leaving by stepping right in front of her. “No… you’re not a toy to me… Y/N please… I… just listen to me for a moment…” Ellie then started to explain everything while she was still crying. “You… you have to believe me… I-I love you… I just couldn’t control my feelings anymore… and… I didn’t want to lie about them to you anymore…”

“Why would you do a thing like that in front of me!?” You shouted. Ellie kept crying and spoke. “I don’t know… I still don’t know why I did it… I-I just felt like it was gonna be the right choice at the time… but… you’re right… I shouldn’t have done it. I-I never wanted to hurt you like this.” Ellie started to feel really guilty for hurting you.

“You should have thought about that before!” You said, angry. Ellie kept wiping her eyes. “Oh god… I’m so stupid… I’m really really stupid, Y/N… I-I don’t deserve someone like you after everything I just did to you.” Ellie just kept feeling guilty. 

“And I know you used to like you or maybe you still do, just stay away from me and go to her since you are so eager.” You started crying.

“I-I don’t like her… anymore that is… I… I only like you now Y/N… please… just give me a chance to… to fix all this… please… I-I love you… I don’t want to hurt you and… and I don’t want to lose you…” Ellie kept trying to reason with you just to get one last chance to make everything right with her. You walk home.

“Y/N, please wait… please… I still love you… Don’t leave me like this…” Ellie was still trying to get a last chance to fix all of this…  Ellie was still holding out on the hope that things could be better between You two.

“And I can't believe I have to live in the same house as you, just do what you want but don’t bother me.” You said sadly. Ellie got the feeling you didn’t want to talk to her. She started to let you leave so that you could just have some space. Ellie was still hurt and crying a bit. She felt like she had lost you after this.

You get home and go directly to your room.

Ellie just stayed outside the house for a few more minutes as she kept wiping away her tears. She then finally went back inside to her room. Ellie just laid on her bed and kept crying. Ellie couldn’t believe how things turned out in the end… She lost you because of her foolish decision. She gets up from bed and walks to your door. Ellie tries to talk to you and knocks at your bedroom door. She kept knocking gently. Ellie  waited a few moments before knocking again. She was trying her best to be gentle and didn’t want to upset you even more. “Y/N? I-it’s me… Ellie… I-if you wanna… c-can I come in please?” Ellie opened the door cautiously then walked into your room and shut the door behind her. Ellie turned to face you. “I-I… I just wanted to say one more thing to you now that I’m sober… I-if you’ll listen to me, I mean…”

“What do you want?” You ask crying.

“I… I just wanted to say sorry… and… I hope you can forgive me for what just happened…” Ellie wiped her eyes and didn’t know what to do now. She was scared that you wouldn’t accept her apology and that Ellie had permanently ruined the relationship between you.

“I need time to think.” You say in a low and sad tone.

“T-take all the time you need…” Ellie just continued to stand in your room. She didn’t know what else to say or do right now. All Ellie wanted was to fix everything between her and you. Ellie was scared that if she were to leave the room right now that you wouldn’t forgive her. Your face was red from crying, and you did not look at Ellie.

Ellie felt really bad about seeing you like that and she wasn’t sure if she did the right thing by trying to talk to you. Ellie’s face was also a bit red from crying earlier and she didn’t want you to see her like that. Ellie tried to look everywhere but you. “Y/N? I… I-I’m really sorry… I- I… I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after what just happened…”

“Why did you do it?” You ask sadly. Ellie felt like crying but then started to explain to you again. “Like I said… I-I can’t control my feelings… I just thought that dancing with her and… and-“ Ellie then just remained silent for a few seconds as she didn’t want to say more. 

“and?” You ask sadly.

Ellie then looked back at you. “And… I don’t know… I-I thought doing that would be alright…” Ellie started to feel tired and was just confused and didn’t know what her feelings meant anymore. She sighed. “Y/N… I… don’t know why I did all of this now that I’m more sober. I-I just want everything to be okay again…”

“Do you like her?” You asked quietly. Ellie just remained silent for a few moments as she was thinking about it. “No… I don’t like Jenny… I only like you now.” Ellie was starting to calm down.

“Why did you kiss her?” You were really hurt by Ellie's actions. Ellie felt scared for a moment then took a deep breath before she spoke. “I was drunk… and I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better though… I-I just thought that would’ve been what I should do then… I was being stupid…” Ellie just didn’t want you to hate her. Ellie felt bad for how dumb she was just a few moments ago.

“Why did you treat me so badly before all this?” You ask her, tears falling down your face.

Ellie looked down at the ground. “I-I… I just- I just thought I should ignore that I liked you… I didn’t want to ruin things between us when I told you how I felt… b-but…” Ellie was starting to feel more of her emotions come back. Ellie started to feel sad. “I just made it worse in the end… I should’ve just told you the truth right away…” Ellie was really starting to worry. She was scared that she might’ve ruined the relationship between her and you. She went back to sitting down on your bed, she was too tired to stand now. “Y/N? …Please let me make this up to you…”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” You say angry.  Ellie started to think for a moment. She didn’t know how she was gonna make up for what she just did. She just kept sitting there not saying anything for a long time. Ellie was scared and didn’t know what to do,  then looked up at you as if she was about to say something. She wanted to make things right with you but she didn’t know how to do it.

You wipe your tears away. “Y/N?” Ellie spoke again “I know I can’t make things up to you right now but… I want you to know that I don’t like Jenny… I only like you… ok?” Ellie felt bad that you were still crying. Ellie just wanted to do something to make you happy again. You looked at Ellie very seriously.  Ellie was looking back at you but she felt a bit scared. She didn’t want to say anything to offend you anymore but she also wanted to help make you feel better. “Y/N? … I-I …” Ellie seemed to have an idea to make you feel better again. You continued looking, waiting for her to talk. Ellie stood up and walked towards you. She was going to take a risk right now and she was a bit nervous.

“Y/N? … Can I kiss you?” Ellie was waiting for your answer on this… she didn’t know if you would allow her to kiss her because of everything that just happened.

You looked sad and surprised at Ellies words? Ellie felt afraid as she kept waiting for you to respond. Ellie could feel her heart beating in her chest as she thought this could ruin things more than if she hadn’t just asked you. She couldn’t bear to mess up with you again. She started to get a feeling in her gut that you were gonna say no to her. “Please? … I-I need this right now… I-I hope you still feel the same way about me… please…”

You looked up at Ellie, still very sad. Ellie was  really close to you and she could feel her heart beating in her chest. Ellie was afraid but she also felt like she had to make her first move now because she didn’t want to ruin what was left with you. Then she leaned in and went in for the kiss. Ellie felt her lips touch yours and she felt so relieved that you let her kiss you.

You kissed Ellie back, still crying. Ellie started to kiss harder, she got the feeling that you were crying but she couldn’t tell if it was because you were still hurt or just happy. She kept kissing you and was beginning to hold you closer. Ellie kept feeling like she needed to hold onto everything she could with you or else she’d lose her forever.

You melted into the kiss and put her arms around Ellie. Ellie then kept kissing you for a while. She felt so happy. Ellie started to hug you tighter and she didn’t want this to end anytime soon.

Ellie then decided to sit down on the bed with you and she kept kissing you om. You let Ellie take the lead since she's done this before and you haven't. Ellie kept kissing you and the more she kissed her the happier she felt. Ellie felt so lucky that you were giving her another chance. Then Ellie started to kiss you on the neck a little bit and started to take things a little further… 

“Ellie.., i... I've never done this before.”

Ellie felt a bit confused. “What- wait… what… d-did you mean that… Y/N?” Ellie thought she just heard it wrong. Ellie was wondering if you meant she never kissed anyone before? Or if that meant something else?

“I never... had…” You were embarrassed to say the word.” I’ve never had sex.... “ You said this very very quietly .” I’m still a virgin.....”

Ellie’s face got red as she thought she heard you right. “W-wait… really?… I-I… you…”

Ellie was so in love right now. She kissed you back harder and for a much longer time. She pulled you close to her, Ellie just couldn’t stop kissing your lips. Ellie was starting to kiss you on the neck. She felt so happy, she was enjoying this way too much and she didn’t want to stop.

You let out tiny moans as you felt Ellie kiss her neck. Ellie then pulled you even closer towards her, pushing you up against her. Ellie started to kiss your lips again for a while. She put her hands on your cheeks, holding your face. Ellie felt like doing this forever but… she knew she couldn’t, she didn’t want to get too into it.

Ellie then pulled back from the kiss and was breathing heavily. Ellie looked at you as you looked at Ellie wondering why she stopped. Ellie then started to say something.

“Y/N… I… I wanna do something with you now… are you ready for it?” Ellie was nervous to say those words but she just wanted to make you happy. You nodded in agreement and kissed Ellie again. Ellie then smiled. She felt so happy. Ellie was so ready… Ellie then put you on the bed. You two felt really close to each other. Ellie started to kiss you on the lips again and put her hands all over you. It was getting passionate and exciting.

You tried taking Ellie’s shirt off, she then helped you  by taking her own shirt off. You looked at Ellie’s body amazed by how much more attractive she was without clothes on. Ellie couldn’t say anything right now… then started to kiss you again. On your neck and more all over her body. Ellie then went back to kissing your mouth. 

You were starting to feel her core heating up under your dress. Ellie kept on kissing you all over your body. Ellie wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. She was beginning to feel more and more excited. Ellie went back to your mouth and started to kiss you passionately again.  Ellie then kissed your legs and up your thighs. Ellie kept on kissing you, going higher. Ellie felt like she was about to… do the unthinkable.

Ellie was now taking off your dress slowly. You felt shivers and Ellie noticed. She then started taking your dress off quicker. Ellie notices the wet patch on your underwear. Ellie suddenly looked away. She felt embarrassed and didn’t want to embarrass you. You blushed a bit.

Ellie could see you were embarrassed. Ellie started to feel ashamed. Ellie could feel her face get hot. Ellie felt like she needed to explain herself. “Y/N… I-I’m so sorry… I-I… I wasn’t trying to look… I… I just… I guess I got a bit carried away… please don’t think I’m weird… I…”

“No, it’s okay Ellie.” Ellie felt a bit relieved. “Y/N… d-do you forgive me?” Ellie felt like she had to know if you were still okay with her. You were a bit surprised by Ellie’s words. “I’m still hurt Ellie, but I do forgive you.” Ellie was still feeling ashamed but… she was at least relieved that you weren't mad at her anymore. “Y/N… w-we’ll… I… I… I wanna make you happy again…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous again. You kissed Ellie as to calm her down

Ellie wasn’t expecting that. Ellie felt calmer as you kissed her again to help her feel better. Ellie was slowly forgetting about what she did. Ellie felt a bit better after you kissed her again and pulled you closer to her. She was enjoying this with you, she felt so loved again. You put your hand on Ellie’s abbs. Ellie looked down at your hand on her skin. She then put her hands on your face again.

Ellie was feeling so happy. Ellie was kissing you over and over all over her body. She was starting to get more excited. You were loving this. Ellie kept on kissing you as if she couldn’t stop anymore. Ellie was feeling so excited and you were enjoying it too. Ellie was just too happy to stop doing this.

Your dress was pulled up and Ellie could see your underwear. Ellie couldn’t believe what she was doing. “Y/N, I… um…”

Ellie was feeling a bit scared. She pulled herself away from you. Ellie was feeling worried that she was taking things further than you wanted to go.

“What’s wrong? “ You got a bit embarrassed and covered herself with the dress's skirt.

Ellie felt embarrassed as well. “W-oh nothing… s-sorry Y/N… I was just going a bit too fast, I…” Ellie was really nervous. She felt like she went too far for you to handle. Ellie didn’t know what was going to happen now.

“I was liking it...”

Ellie felt a bit surprised. “Y/N… w-wait… you… you did like what I was doing…?”

“Yes…” You blushed.

Ellie was blushing too. Ellie didn’t realize you liked what she was doing to you. “Y/N… can I keep going?” You nodded, eager to kiss Ellie again.

Ellie then smiled and got closer to you. She then started to kiss You again. Ellie’s kissing got more passionate as she kissed you more and more. Ellie felt like she couldn’t get enough of you…

You got on top of Ellie whilst kissing her. Ellie felt shocked as you got on top of her. Ellie couldn’t say anything, she just felt so excited. Ellie was starting to let her hands and her lips do as they pleased. Ellie enjoyed this moment and she couldn’t let it go. You looked into Ellie’s eyes to see if she was okay. Ellie nodded. Ellie felt like she couldn’t let this stop now. The two of you were kissing very passionately. Ellie was ready to take things even further.

Ellie put her hands on your legs and under your dress. Ellie was now thinking about what she was doing… She was trying to see if you were still okay with her but… it did seem like you wanted to continue. Ellie was  feeling like she was taking the lead with this. She continued touching your thighs. Ellie felt so happy … Ellie was really getting into this. She didn’t want to stop yet…

You kept kissing Ellie harder. Ellie was kissing back with a lot more passion than before. Ellie’s lips were all over yours. She was really starting to enjoy this, she was not planning on stopping yet. Ellie touches your underwear. She feels your wetness. You look at Ellie when she touches you. Ellie lays you on the bed and kisses you again. You felt Ellies hands on your thighs again and you were starting to get excited. Ellies smiled when she noticed how wet you were for her.

“Is this all for me?” Ellie asked, starting to feel cocky.  Ellie touches your pussy through your panties, “oh, someones really excited, hum…?”

You looked at Ellie as she touched you, you were really turned on right now, and wanted to do this with Ellie.

You kissed her as she continued to touch you. You started moaning. Ellie was happy to hear you moan for her. She started to kiss down your body and gave your tighs extra attention. You were very sensitive and felt every kiss Ellie left on your skin. You started to feel your core really getting hot as Ellie kissed your things and pushed your dress up. 

You look down at Ellie and Ellie looks up at You. “Are you sure you’re ready baby?” 

“Yes, I want to do this with you Ellie…” You said, Ellie took that yes and started to take off your panties. At this point they were soaked. You couldn't wait to feel Ellie.

Ellie looked at your pussy mesmerized. Ellie couldn't believe she made you this turned on. Ellie wanted to dive right in but remembered you had never done this before and wants it to be special for you. She started kissing up your thighs  and up to your beautiful pussy. She pressed a light kiss on your clit. You slightly jumped at the feeling. 

Ellie started licking your clit slowly to see how you would react. You start moaning in pleasure. She smirked and continued to massage your clit with her tongue. Then she put her hand on your thighs and guided them up to reach your core. Ellie felt your juices on her fingers and started to feel a patch forming on her own boxers. Ellie took her fingers to her mouth and sucked those lovely juices and moaned as she tasted them. You were moaning at Ellie’s skill. You started to feel a knot forming in your  belly. Ellie carefully and slowly inserted one of her fingers inside your tight hole. You moaned louder than before as you felt Ellie enter you. 

“You're so tight baby, damm…” Ellie started pumping her finger in and out slowly, as You started relaxing a bit. “You look so beautiful…. taking me so well…” Ellie smirked to herself proud of what she saw.

“fuck… that feels amazing ells…” You moaned ever more “please dont stop” Ellie starts going faster as she feels your hole is getting used to the intrusion. She is taking real good care of your clit at the same time.

You feel like you can't take much more as the feeling in your core is getting stronger. “Ellie… I'm getting close…” Ellie inserts a second finger inside and you gasp. She looks up to see you enjoying it. She started going faster and hitting your sensitive spongy spot. “Ellie… I think I'm…. I think I'm… going to cum….” Ellie continues at the same rhythm, increasing the speed slowly. “Cum for me baby, let me drink all that cum…”

You close your fists as you are about to cum. You feel the knot in your tummy coming undone. “Ellie, I'm cumming….”

“Yes baby, cum for me… '' Ellie is so excited to see you cum for the first time and feels so proud of herself for being the person that is making you feel this good. 

You start feeling a little overstimulated as your orgasm reaches its peak. “Ells… is too much...Ells too much…” You gently push Ellies head so she knows to stop now. Ellie sees you are getting overstimulated and starts slowing down sucking all of your juices at the same time. Ellie comes up to kiss you and you can taste yourself on Ellie’s tongue. Ellie takes her fingers out slowly and brings them to her mouth and tastes your juices one last time looking you directly in the eyes. 

You breathe heavily as you're coming down from your high, looking at Ellie sucking the fingers that just made you cum…

“Y/N, baby, you were amazing… did you feel good?” Ellie asked and kissed you lovingly. “Ellie I… That was the best thing I've ever fel…,” Your face is all red and she is breathing heavily, still a bit lost in lust. Ellie kisses your forehead and holds you in her arms. 

You never felt this good in your life, you feel like you are dreaming. You both lay back on the bed as Ellie stroked you gently. “ You did so good, baby. I'm so proud of you…”

You feel tired and close your eyes, whilst in Ellie’s embrace. Ellie just keeps holding you as you fall asleep in her arms. “Good night baby, sweet dreams..” You fall fast asleep after the storm of sensations you just felt. “Night Ellie”. Ellie stays with you all night, ending up falling asleep as well. Ellie feels so lucky having you in her arms. She doesn't want to let you go ever again.

In the morning, Ellie woke up and saw you still next to her in bed… Ellie was starting to feel happy that you were still there. “Hey… good morning Y/N…” Ellie had a smile on her face now.

“Morning, ells” You smiled. Ellie was still smiling.  “I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me last night… I just felt so… so happy with you…” Ellie wanted you to know how much she appreciated you. “Y/N… can… can we still do this again sometime…? If not… that’s perfectly…”  Ellie was starting to feel a bit awkward about it now. She didn’t wanna push her luck and you didn’t wanna try to get you to do something she wouldn’t wanna do. Ellie felt comfortable with you now and started to get overwhelmed by her feelings. Tears started forming in her eyes.

“We can talk about it, I wont judge anything.” You tell her, when you see her tears.

“Yes… I… I do wanna talk about it… I just… I don’t know if you wanna hear about it…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous. “Maybe some other time… I’m sorry… I’m just still feeling nervous… I’m glad we had this conversation though… I’m just glad that we still feel comfortable with each other… ”

“It's okay Ellie. You are safe. I won't ever judge you.” You caress her cheek.

Ellie started to feel more relieved now. “Y/N… Thank you so much… I really needed to hear that…” “If I’m being honest I feel like… I feel like I am a… a disappointment to most of the people I’ve met… Ellie didn’t know if you wanted to know the details. Ellie was still feeling a bit nervous about talking about her past.

“Why would you say that?” You look at her still caressing her face.

“My past life was… hard to say the least. I never really had anyone to support me through my tough times. I didn’t have anyone to support me… I was on my own.” Ellie felt like she was beginning to open up to you a bit more.“Do you wanna hear the rest…?” You nodded reassuringly.

“My parents weren’t supportive of me… they told me they didn’t care about me… They even sometimes blamed me for the bad things that happened to them. They… they…” Ellie then got a bit emotional. Ellie didn’t wanna cry in front of You.

“I-I’m sorry… I just… I needed to talk about it… I needed to tell someone about it… it’s okay… you can ignore me if you want…”

“It's okay to cry, Ells, I'm here now.” You stroke her hair. Ellie then started to cry a bit.

“I just… I just wanted supportive parents… I wanted… I wanted to be loved…” Ellie wiped her tears. “Y/N… thank you… thank you so much for listening to all of this, I really needed it…” You hugged Ellie. She gave you a tight hug back. Ellie felt really happy to have someone supporting her now. “Y/N… I don’t know how to thank you now…” Ellie wanted to give you something back to show how much she cared.

You look at Ellies drawings. “Oh, my drawings? I mean… they’re okay, I guess… I mean, it’s not really that much… ” Ellie was trying to be humble. “So… Y/N… you saw my drawings… well… do you… do you wanna see more…? I mean… only if you want to… of course… I mean… that’s only if you actually like them… ”

“I love them Ells, you're really good!” Ellie was surprised to hear this. Ellie felt like you were lying but she couldn’t tell if she really was or not. “Y/N… are… are you actually being serious?… I mean… they’re not that impressive… ” Ellie was getting a bit embarrassed.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” You said turning back to face her. Ellie then giggled a bit. “That’s so nice of you, Y/N, I… I never imagined that I’d have someone support my art like this, it’s just…” Ellie then started to tear up a little. “All my life people kept telling me that my art was bad but… you… you… actually like it…” Ellie was getting a bit emotional.

“Bad? They must be all blind.” You were a bit confused about how anyone could say that about her art.

“Yeah… I mean… maybe they were blind… maybe they just wanted to make me feel bad… I mean… my parents always told me that…It’s a good thing for me that I’m away from them now…” Ellie started to feel happy about not needing to see her parents again.

“Ellie, you can talk to me, I see you need it. You will feel better after.” You reassure her.

“Yeah, you’re right… you’re right, I do need it… I’m just… I’m just glad you’re here listening to my problems… this… this is what a friend does… I’m so… so happy that you’re this kind.” Ellie was feeling a lot better after saying that. “Y/N… I just… I just really appreciate you listening to me.” You smiled and held Ellies hand. Ellie’s cheeks began to get a red shade to them. Ellie then felt so happy to see your smile. “Y/N… can… can I just give you a hug now?” Ellie then waited to see if Y/N wanted a hug. “Of course, come here.” Ellie moved over to you and gave you a hug.

“Hey Y/N… can I… can I just ask you something…?”

“Yes honey?” You say as you break the hug.

“I… I feel… I feel like… maybe… just, maybe… could… could I maybe… maybe spend the rest of the day with you… I mean… if you want to… I don’t wanna push my luck and I can always leave your room… b… but… just… just let me know if you… if… you want me to stay…”

“I want to be here with you Ellie, there's nowhere i'd rather be.” Ellie got a bit embarrassed but then got a smile on her face. “Well then... if you're okay with it... I guess... I'm spending the day with you... I mean... I'd love to spend all my time with you... I mean... you're just one of the nicest people I've ever met... you're really… really awesome…” Ellie was now full of love for you. “If it makes you feel better I can share my past too.” Ellie then got a curious look on her face. Ellie wasn't sure about asking you but she wanted to know more about her. "You can tell me about your past if you like... You... you don't have to... but... I wanna be here for you... to... to support you... that's what friends do... right?"

“Exactly.”

"I like being your friend, Y/N...I just... I just wanted to ask... um... if... if you wanted to... um... do you wanna... do you... would you like to know more about my past?"

“I'm all ears.” You smile at Ellie. Ellie got a big smile on her face. Ellie felt like you were the best person she could talk to. “I… I had a really bad childhood… my parents… my parents…” Ellie’s voice was starting to shake a bit as she spoke.

“It's okay baby, you can tell me.”

“I… uh… my parents… t… they… they weren’t good people, Y/N…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous talking about this. “They… they… they abused me… they… they physically abused me… they hit me and… they would tell me how awful I was… they… they… they kept telling me that I meant nothing to them… they… they…”

Ellie was starting to cry a bit now. You hold Ellies hand to help Ellie calm down a bit. She was holding back tears, but she still held onto your hand. Ellie was so happy to have you here for her. Ellie then spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m so… so sorry Y/N… I hope I haven’t just made you feel worse… I… I just… I’ve never really admitted… I’ve never really admitted these things before… “

“It's okay, you're okay now, they can't hurt you anymore.”

Ellie then wiped her eyes. “Y/N… thank you so, so much… I-I just, I… I really needed to tell someone about this… ” “I… I… I just… I just have… I have a lot of emotional wounds from the past… they… they can affect me a lot… and… and I just… I just don’t wanna scare you away… “ Ellie felt like she was being too blunt with you. “I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense right now…”

“You can't scare me away, I'm never leaving your side.”

“If that’s the case then… then I think I… I feel like I can tell you everything now… like I can just… I can feel safe with you… I… I… I trust you… ” Ellie was getting happier and happier. “You… you’re the first person in my life to make me feel loved and supported… I… I just… I just wanna know… know that we’re still gonna be friends… like… after this talk…”

“I'll always be your friend, I'll always be here.” Ellie smiled again. “Thank you so, so much, Y/N… you… you have no idea how much you’ve helped me now…”

You two spent the day talking to each other about your lives. About all the bad stuff and all the good stuff too. Your bond grew bigger by the hour. You lost track of time as you were too invested in each other's words. You felt happy and safe together.

“Y/N… could… I ask you one more favor…?”

“Yes baby?”

“Well, um… may… may I… c-can I stay here for the night… please… I… I… I really don’t wanna go back and sleep alone… ” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous asking you this. “I… I don’t wanna overstay my welcome and I’ll understand if you say no… I just… I wanna stay with you now… “

“We are roommates honey, I won't leave you alone, only if you want to.”

“Hey Y/N? Please, if you need me for anything, even if it’s during the night, please… just… just wake me up. I wanna be here for you … I wanna be as good a friend for you as you are for me… “

“I wont leave your side baby, I'm here.”

“Thank you… I’m gonna sleep well now… I… I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow… “ Ellie then shut her eyes and layed down on the bed.

*it's the next morning*

Ellie was sleeping in the exact same spot she was last night. She had slept like an angel. “He… hey… I’m up, I’m up… “ Ellie was still pretty drowsy though. Ellie sat upright. Ellie spoke and her hair was messed up and she had a tired look on her face. “Huh?… what time is it… is it time to wake up now?… “ Ellie’s voice was quiet as she spoke.

“You look so cute. It's 9:30 Ells.” You smiled.

“You… you think… you think I’m cute?…” Ellie then looked a bit surprised by this.

“I do” You smiled, taking Ellie's hair out of her face and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Ellie was blushing a lot. Ellie hugged you. “You… you… you make me feel so… so happy… I’m so thankful you’re not leaving my side…” Ellie’s blushing still hadn’t calmed down, she had a full on face flush at this point. Ellie didn’t wanna leave your side. You held Ellie and stroked her hair. Ellie smiled and had tears in her eyes. She spoke in a quiet voice. “I-I… I… I never realized how… how much I needed affection in my life… I… I’m just glad I can get all this now… “

“Why did you wanna be roommates with me… why… Why do you want to be so close to me?… ”  Ellie wanted to know these things.

“We got assigned together and i didnt want to piss Maria off, so I did not protest. I'm glad you stayed,” Ellie felt her face turn red again. “… but… you like being roommates with me though, right?”

“Yes honey.”

“Y/N… I… I really wanna kiss you… C-Can I?…” You looked Ellie in the eyes and nodded. She had a big smile on her face. Ellie then got closer to you and kissed your lips “I… I wanted that for so… so long… “Ellie still had a big smile on her face. Your breath got faster as Ellie got closer.

Ellie was feeling her heart beat a lot faster now. Ellie then got even closer to you. You kiss Ellie softly.

Ellie then started to kiss back. The kiss between you lasted for a few seconds. Ellie felt so happy, she then broke the kiss.“Y/N… thank you… I… I love… I like you so much… “I like you too, Ells.” You blush. Ellie then looked at you again. She just smiled and started to kiss Your neck. Ellie  spoke between her kisses.“Y/N… you… you look so beautiful… so… so pretty… “Ellie started to keep kissing Your neck. You shiverd. Ellie felt like you liked it so she kept kissing your neck for a few more seconds.

“Mmm… you… you feel so good… you… you smell good… “Ellie looked into your eyes.“Y/N… can you… can you do something for me… can you…can you kiss me… please?… “ You were nervous because of the previous night but still kissed Ellie. Ellie was blushing a lot. she kissed back. She didn’t wanna stop though. Ellie kept kissing you for several minutes. Ellie had butterflies in her stomach.“if you don’t mind… I… I wanna do more… Y/N… I… I… am just… just so in love with you… I… I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable saying that but… I need to tell you how I feel… “ You blushed more and kissed Ellie again more passionately. Ellie let herself get lost in a love she couldn’t believe she actually felt. Ellie was in a euphoric state right now all because of you and she couldn’t be happier about that.

I hope you liked this. I know I'm not very good at writing. This Was a lot of fun! Let me know what you thought. Comments and reblogs are always welcome! Part 2?

[elliespuns]

Ellie & Joel song list

First, let me say that "She Is the Sunlight" by Trading Yesterday is one of my most beloved songs and nothing compares to it. It is so Joel to Ellie.

Joel's POV:

Trading Yesterday - Fall Into You Oh, my child How I have longed For you to come home To where you belong All of your life if you could just see All of my joy when you are here with me

The Paper Kites - Arms My heart's no good 'Cause it's split in two What can I give that is all for you These arms are all I have But I'll hold you like I do love you

Novo Amor - Anchor And I hear your ship is comin' in Your tears a sea for me to swim And I hear a storm is comin' in My dear, is it all we've ever been?

Yaeow - Everything to Me There's so much that i don't know and can't explain Like why the seasons turn and leaves are bound to change What's the meaning of existence It doesn't matter anyway 'Cause you mean everything to me You mean everything to me

Ellie's POV:

Red - Hymn For the Missing Thought you were beside me But I reached and you were gone Sometimes I hear you calling From some lost and distant shore I hear you crying softly for the way it was before

College ft. Electric Youth - A Real Hero Against the grain of dystopic claims Not the thoughts your actions entertain And you have proved to be A real human being and a real hero

Lists - Haven Lea Out of sight, though never far from our thoughts In my heart, you're on the shore With the waves at your feet, the wind in your hair And in my dreams, you're with the birds As they take to the skies and their song fills the air

Novo Amor - Carry You Let it lead your love away I never strayed Let it bury you away In all your blame, in all your pain I will carry you always

Both POVs:

Bear's Den - Above the Clouds of Pompeii You were a god in my eyes Above the clouds, above the skies You were a god in my eyes You were a god

The Hope Arsenal - Dreams That Were Always Meant to Be The forest in summertime And fires when it’s cold Spending time with you Never gets old

These are the most important songs that I connect to Ellie and Joel. Yes, I love these characters so much it physically pains me.

[letmesleep8]

even if I die screaming // elliexreader

CHAPTER 3: Cassiopeia

AO3 | chapter 2 | chapter 4

content warnings/tags: cheating (not on/by ellie); mentions and use of drugs; subtle homophobia; slight discomfort.

notes: hello loves! i'm back with chapter three and it's a bit longer than usual, hope you like it. also, there is a minor OC mention in this one. nothing too much, it's actually such a quick role that i didn't want to waste a character in it, not going to happen often.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

"With my back to the shoreline, I dreamt that he drowned"

 — Georgia, Phoebe Bridgers

January 22, 2039 Winter

Dear diary, 

I've been avoiding Ellie for the last couple weeks since Christmas. The last time I saw her was during New Year's Eve, tried to come talk to me but my mom was there and she had had a couple drinks. I realized it was better for me to not cause any type of scene.

After what she saw on Christmas mama said it'd be better for me if I got closer to Dina since we "have much more in common", of course what she really means is that I should not go anywhere near Ellie. She's also been really trying to set me up with one of Seth's boys, Mike. The older one, I think he's like 18 or 19. I really don't give a shit, I've only been seeing him so she would stop coming to my door late at night to pray for me while I'm asleep. 

Tonight there's gonna be a community get-together at Tipsy and I know for a fact Ellie is gonna be there. And so will Mike, I guess. God, he's so fucking annoying. I mean, he doesn't actually do anything bad, he's just boring and... shallow.

Anyways, I'm going right now 'cause Cat promised to give me bangs. I bet it's going to look awful and mama's gonna kill me. If it does happen I'll make sure Dina burns this journal. 

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The sun had just set, the sky was not too dark. I grabbed the cake I baked for the community party and filled up Stevie's water bowl before leaving out of the door. As I turned to lock the door behind me, I got scared by a voice.

"What are you doing? Were you leaving?" Mike said, making me jump and almost drop the cake. "I said I was going to pick you up, why were you going by yourself?" He smirked, realizing I got spooked. 

"I completely forgot, I'm so sorry", I smiled while trying to hide the fact that I wanted to throw the vanilla cake into his face, I absolutely hate getting spooked.  I could see his smirk getting wider, he probably realized how distressed I was. And I think he liked it.

"Where 'ma hug at?", Mike tilted his head. I could feel my face twitch as I walked down the steps to my front porch. I looked up and put one arm on his shoulder, hugging him. He was quick to put both his arms around my waist, making me furrow my brows. I'm usually really not a fan of physical touch and Mike was always really touchy. After about two  seconds, I pulled away and started walking. 

The walk to the bar was quick and sorta quiet. He asked to hold hands, saying my hands must feel cold. I said I'm fine and stuffed them in my pocket. The lights on the street were beautiful, taking away my attention from him completely. We then got to my mom, sitting beside Seth. He got up, with a smile. 

I smiled back, wide and polite, as always. "I baked a vanilla cake, I hope people like it", I uncovered the cake and handed it to Seth, who seemed impressed. "Well, at least I know ma' boy won't be starving anytime in the future", he said with a grin. I could feel my smile getting smaller by the minute. The boy laughed with his dad.

On the other side of the room I could see my friends, all sitting together on the same table. Ellie included. I think Jesse saw me staring because he waved at us, calling us over. I thought if I should wave back but before I could even come to a decision Mike was headed towards them, dragging me along. 

"Look who's here! I thought you got kidnapped by Santa or something." Dina laughed, elbowing me. 

"Nah, was just doing an internship as a reindeer, but I'm back in town", I scoffed. Ellie was quiet, sitting on the corner chair. "Hi", I waved to her, reluctant. 

"Hey", she replied, her voice low. With the slightest of smiles, she points at my fresh bangs and says: "I like the new cut, suits ya' good." 

I smile and I can see her cheeks get fairly flushed. I open my mouth to respond to the compliment, but get rudely interrupted by Mike: "no shit, you cut your hair?", he's surprised. 

"You didn't notice the whole walk here?" I knew Mike wasn't exactly the brightest but I never took him for being blind too. He shrugs his shoulders and opens his mouth, trying to find an excuse for his lack of attention. Luckily, Seth calls him over to the kitchen for help, sparring us both with this useless talk. "I'll see ya' ", he says as he walks to his dad. I sat with my friends.

"Not noticing a haircut is a man's worst flaw", Jesse jokes. I roll my eyes and reply: "I really don't give a fuck. Anyone got a beer? Any alcohol? Anything?"

Dina whistles and laughs. "For you?! I'm impressed, look who decided she likes beer now!" Dina always liked to mess with me, especially about the fact that I don't usually drink with them. 

"Well, I can't always babysit you all", I mock Dina. "Time to return the favor." Dina lifts her hands in the air, so does Jesse. I turn to look at Ellie.

The auburn haired girl sighed and got closer, whispering: "s'okay, I do have something on me but y'all can't tell anyone otherwise we'll all be in trouble!" She gets up and all three of us follow after her. 

We sneaked out to go Ellie's house, she unlocked her door. "It's a mess, I wasn't expecting to have guests. You wait outside." I leaned against the front door, Dina leaned against Jesse, whispering something in his ear that made him chuckle. Soon after, there she was with a 6 pack of beer. We all walked together, deciding to stop by a creek, as usual. 

Ellie sat on a rock and I sat by her side, she handed me a beer. Jesse and Dina got a beer each and went to sit further, guess they needed some privacy. I took a sip, trying my best not to make a face. I'm really not used to alcohol. I try to break the cold silence. 

"So..." I looked up to the sky. "Do you really just keep a 6 pack hidden in your room?"

She chuckled, not saying anything else. Maybe she is mad at me. I would be. But her being mad would mean that it actually meant something, I don't think it did for her. Did it? Do I? Do I mean something for Ellie? Well, maybe now she sees me as a heartless bitch. I take another sip of the beer, thinking about how Ellie completely despises me. 

"Are you sure you wanna drink it? I know you hate beer." I looked to the side to see Ellie looking at me, smiling sweetly. "I could give ya' something else, if you want, of course." She laughs. 

"What? Oh, sure" I try to brush it off, as she reaches for something inside her jacket. I watch as she takes a joint and a lighter off her pocket and try to play it cool, even though I've never smoked a cigarette before. She lights it up, gives it a puff and passes it to me. I try to mimic her and end up coughing really hard while she laughs at me. 

"You've never smoked weed?", she laughs. "I've never smoked anything!", I reply, still coughing like an old man. "Aw shit, if I knew I wouldn't have done this, you should have told me!". She took it off my hand and smoked it again. 

Ellie blows out the smoke into the sky as I recover. "I can help you if you want", she says with a smirk. I raise an eyebrow, pretending to be innocent. I think I know what she's gonna do, I've seen guys do it in movies. I nod my head yes, "go ahead".

She puts the cigarette between her lips and takes another drag, but holds the smoke this time. She gently cups my face with her hand and slowly gets closer, I open my lips, not sure if I'm just going on with the bit or actually trying to say something. Lightly brushing her lips against mine, she blows out the smoke in my mouth. I closed my eyes and took it, breathing it in, and for a moment I could feel her smile against my lips. She backs away. I can see her rosy cheeks, they match the state of her eyes. She takes another drag to herself, looking the other way. As she turns around I can see the freckles on the back of her shoulder. I look to the sky and back to her, until she notices.

"All good?" Ellie smiles, looking a bit embarrassed. I shake my head.

"Toss your hair to the side", I say. She does so without asking a single question. "Now turn back around."

I take my index finger to meet her back, making her skin shiver. Move it to one side then another, tracing patterns, connecting dots. Constellations. 

"Cassiopeia." I moved my finger again. "Big Dipper." I moved it once more. "Cepheus". I whispered under my breath, by her neck.

Ellie chuckled. "Are you tracing stars on my back?" She got the weed back to her lips, dragging on it once more. Afterwards, Ellie looked into my eyes, close to her neck. She got close and brushed her freckled nose against mine, shamelessly touching lips and blew out the smoke into my mouth again. Our gazes intertwined and our faces closer than ever when I heard Dina approaching. We both backed away.

"Sorry for bothering you two. Mike's looking for ya'." Dina grinned, shaking her head and walking away. I quickly got up, adjusted my hair and walked away too, without looking back.

[letterstoear]

omg IKEVIL PLUSHIES in the works???? 😭 ilysm I can’t wait to grip a little elbie harry and alfons in my grubby little hands

Yes Anon!!! I've been holding off on answering this for so long because I wanted to answer only when I could unleash them to the whole world!!

You can purchase them here: Shop — Letters to Ear (squarespace.com)

And because I'm extra, I thought I would do a deep dive into how I made each plush. It was a tough job for me if I do say. Especially you Jude!!!!! Ahem, shall we begin dear anon?

*Long post incoming*

Let's start with the very beginning. I'm not gonna lie, but I absolutely adore Ring. When I saw him, my heart just knew he was the character I was going to simp for till the end of time. So, it honestly started off with him.

However, Ring you know has a brother named Nica. He unfortunately was, um, horrible at first. Even now I've haven't gone back to fix him because I can't help but laugh when I see him.

Nica I'm so sorry.

Moving on, I decided to try my hand at Elbert and Harry since I was so confident I couldn't screw up with those two. Little did I know what would become of me.

As you can see above me, here are the draft plushies. The only ones to come out safe was Elbert and Harrison. Well, actually I struggled forever to find the perfect felt color to use for Harrison. I ended up going with a seller on Etsy who hand dyes wool felt. The hair color is called cappuccino.

Even so, it's not a perfect match which ticks me off when I look at his plush. Also, there's something about the eyes that bother me. It's like his plush looks washed out. I'm sure it's because the eyes are too pale. I might actually change them soon.

HoWEVer Elbert looks so adorable!!!!! Except he also at the same time kinda sorta mAYBe looks like Lancelot from the game Ikemen Revolution.

What can I say, I like my blondes depressed

Now we move onto the real troublemaker duo. Alfons and Jude. I ended up changing Alfons design a lot as well as Jude. However, after going to the barber shop, he looks perfectly fine now. You can see his before in the photo above. This is his after look:

Isn't he much cuter??? He really needed that swoosh hair thingy.

For Jude, I shifted his hair around and added his black streak of hair. Before is on the left and the after is on the right. Sad to say, but I'm not satisfied with how he looks. I just can't pinpoint where I went wrong though. That's not to say I think he doesn't deserve a chance at the spotlight though.

When I was making Jude's hair, I chose to go with two different shades of grey instead of white and black. The white and black was too strong of a contrast to my liking. I wanted there to be more a blend. I also wasn't sure what hair color Jude has. I think it's light grey??

Through my many trials and tribulations, I have cultivated plush designs I've come to be satisfied with. It was a good challenge for me.

A side note from me, but I was going to add Ellis in this set too. Yet, I went back and forth between hair colors for Ellis. I think it's dark purple. Anyway, I'm still on the search for a hair color to match Ellis. Which one do you think it is?

This marks the end of my long post; I hope you enjoyed this!

[celestie0]

🪷 CTFUUUUUU your gojo and reader sex tape post was so hilarious omg. Ngl to me they don't give the vibes of a couple that make one (I don't mean this as an insult omfg now that I wrote it it sounds rude as hell) but the type who are professional phone fuckers.

Doja cat's Cyber sex is their national anthem I just know it I had a little locker room talk with reader she told me 😙. And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

He's a player (the *other* type of player) too so ofc he'd have expertise in the area of tasteful nudes but reader's learning curve will be so exponential gojo would be left in the dust in a short amount of time😁 RIP BOZO‼️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat. That dong goes up at an angle of elevation so steep you could make a mean trigonometric question off of it. I need him BAD I need him esp when he's sweaty after a gym or practice session I'd climb that man like jack was climbing that beanstalk.

Anyway I hope you've been doing well sweets! Thanks for being so nice to me in your last ask and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us I wanna see that horndog be his authentic slutty self around reader finally 🗣️🗣️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat.

oh dear sweet baby jesus the scream i SCRUMPT AT THIS…HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT oh mygooodd that’d be so fuckin hot 😩😩😩 i ran to add that to my notes LOL my head is in my hands i need to write that so fucking bad. HIM RAILING HER WHILE SHE’s WEARING A SKIMPY LIL CHEERLEADER COSTUME AFTER HE JUST PLAYED AN INTENSE GAME babe u cooked w this ty

HAHAHA i feel like they would make a sex tape but they obv wouldnt post it or anything lol it’d just be something they’d do when they’re both drunk asf while on vacation in their hotel room n then they freak out once they get home n realize they lost the flashdrive n someone out there in barcelona is now jerking off to their amateur avante garde porno

And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

okay you’re so right ab cyber sex being (at least post grad) kickoff couple’s anthem 🤧 that “i wish u were here rn” yup. but also LMFAO THATS SO TRUE AB THE SLUTTIN HER OUT he’d have her so downbad she’s flashing her titties at the webcam just cuz she wants to see him cum all over his stomach while he’s jerking himself off to her pixels ✋🏼😩 i was not anticipating to start this day off so horny LOL

idk i like to think all the nudes kickoff gojo has received in his life have been raunchy asf so when he’s so desperate to get a glimpse of kickoff reader while he’s away for work n is like “babe send me a pic please” for the first time n she sends something that’s genuinely really tasteful n artistic n subtle but sexy n leaves a bit to the imagination i feel like that wld drive him more insane than any explicit nude ever would HAHAHAHA

THE DONG GOIN UP YOU COULD PERFORM TRIG ON IT IM CRYING babe i wish to be half as funny as you are some day 🤣🤣

thanks my lovee omg im so happy you’re looking forward to it :””) 💕 you’re my honeybunch sugarplum pumpyumpyumpkin i love yaaa

- ellie 🐸

[marveinator]

Afraid- Ellie Williams (1)

Afraid- Ellie Williams (Part 1)

PART 2 -> PART 3

Backround infos you need (THIS CONTAINS TLOU 2 SPOILERS!): This takes place after Joel died, and Ellie´s revenge already started. Dina and Ellie never had a thing going on, they are just good friends, and Jesse is still alive. Still- Ellie doesn´t have contact with them- since they did not accept her leaving. (Dina and Jesse are not a couple though)- also the reader aka your perspective is described as she/her but there is no use of Y/N!

A/N: This will be a series! I hope you enjoy Part 1, and I´m terribly sorry if something doesn´t make sense, English isn´t my first language! Tell me what you think and help me to let more people see this! Enjoy now...

Chapter warnings: Mention(s) of death, mention(s) of guns/shooting, overall it can be brutal,... I think that´s it?

It was dark outside. Through the broken window I could look a bit into the distance, but without any new discovery. Never did I, or anyone, think the world would end like this. Shattered, possessed, and above all: controlled. It is difficult to explain how the world was before. I, myself, do not know. This has always been the way life goes for me, this is how it began, this is how it ends. In the midst of an apocalypse that finds no end.

I decided to get out of "my" bed. It was probably midnight, but I didn't care. As I crawled out from under the covers, I felt goosebumps brush over my body. Stupid broken window. I hated it here. I don't know about the other QZs, but I hope for everyone's sake it's better than here. Vancouver. I was born here, I live here, and I will die here. I've never seen anything else. If someone asked me now what my greatest wish is, I would probably say to finally get out of this shithole. I'm sitting here, living in a small apartment. Not mine, but my friend's. He's always working… and is almost never around. Work is also one of those messy things here…. I think FEDRA has and never had anything under control. Anyway, I got up and put on shoes. Also my dark gray jacket, the only one I own.

Just as I was about to go into the kitchen (which can't even be called a kitchen, it's way too small for that), I heard a loud scream. I quickly ran back to the (broken) window and looked out. Down on the street people were shooting. Probably the fireflies. Ironic, isn't it? I actually had hopes of becoming a part of them once. Just to get out of here.

"Turn around right fucking now." An unknown voice. I turned around and looked into the eyes of a tall brunette girl. She had a tattoo on her forearm and a gun between her hands. "I really don't want to hurt you, but I need you to tell me where your dear friend Liam is." Her words sounded harmless, however the tone of her voice could tell me that she wouldn't hesitate for a second to kill me. I took a deep breath, I didn't want to die yet despite the circumstances. "He's working," I said dryly. This answer apparently didn't please the girl at all, because she came a few steps closer. "Stupid. Who do you think he is working for right now? At this hour? For FEDRA? They're busy enough taming the fireflies." Oh. Kind of makes sense. "FEDRA doesn't care about annoying 20-year-old men who want food. So, tell me, where is he? I still have a bullet, believe me."

Automatically, I took a step back. "Leave me out of this. I hardly ever see him, I just live in an apartment with him- I don't know anything." I didn't like this situation at all. "Get on your knees," the girl said, and I obeyed- not ready to take a bullet. I knelt on the cold floor and felt goosebumps rise again, but probably it was the whole position I was in that scared me. So helpless and close to death. Yes, I wanted excitement in my life, but not like this….

"And now you listen to me. Your friend, or whatever, is working for someone who killed a person who was very important to me. So maybe if you do want to tell the truth, now is the last chance to do it." I stared up into her eyes. Her whole stature looked so frightening in the darkness. I could tell by the look in her face that she did this every day. Not sneaking up on random girls in apartments, no, killing people. Maybe she had already killed 20. Or hundreds. Or thousands… "Now fucking say something!" she screamed as she pulled on the gun to load it. Shit. I swallowed. Now I had to act smart.

Suddenly the wooden floor creaked. Steps. "What the-" Both mine and the girl's eyes darted to the door. Liam. Fuck. The brown-haired girl in front of me didn't hesitate and shot him. I saw the bullet go through his left shoulder and blood gush out of him. "NO!", I screamed. I quickly ran over to him and knelt down. "It had to be done." She wanted to leave. She pushed past and wanted to leave. No. Quickly I ran after her and grabbed her. "No. You can't barge in here and scare me to death and kill my only friend!", I cried. The tears were just running down my cheeks now. "I don't have anyone else! No one. What am I supposed to do now? You took away the only thing I had, and I thought that's how you felt, too?"

Ellie Williams POV I looked down at her, since she was quite a bit smaller than me. Pain was in her eyes…what had I done. Killing people- for Joel- had been easy. At least until now. But this time was different. I saw a girl standing in front of me who had lost the most important person in her life - just like I once had. "No." I- I was no better than Abby. "I'm- I didn't know-", I tried to continue, but I was interrupted. "Would it have made any difference if you had known? You're a murderer!" Ouch. "Believe me, whoever is the person you lost, I don't think he or she would have wanted you to be like this. You're a monster." Now I couldn't hold back my tears either. I was standing here, in a strange girl's hallway, and I was crying. Not very Ellie of me.

Reader POV Wow. I had managed to make a murderer cry. That was definitely not on my checklist. I turned around and walked back to Liam. His eyes were staring off into nowhere. We almost never talked, yet he had been important to me. Taking in a stranger just like that, as a roommate and friend, was certainly not a normal thing. I wiped the last tears from my face before simply accepting it. Sure, this may seem mean… like "Why is she getting over it so quickly?" Well… when you're used to losing everyone, eventually it doesn't surprise you anymore. Of course, the grief will always be there, but it becomes easier and easier to suppress it. I couldn't turn around and look at the girl. I couldn't. "I don't think we'll ever see each other again, and that's just fine. I don't want to see you anymore. Look, I don't even know your name. Forgive? I won't- I don't want to, but I'm going to try anyway. You don't deserve it, but I don't know your exact history. Which doesn't justify what you did, but maybe I just don't understand you. Now just go, FEDRA will be here soon, they must have heard the shot."

[toournextadventure]

Imagine:

Ellie just walking around her big house (this family needs a BIG one) filming her livestream be just like:

_______

-Yeah, and here meet my mom Birb! (Birb getting ready to go climbing somewhere bc I said so)

-Hey guys, wanna come and see me climbing this time?!

-No mom… I said it often enough! We got other things to do!

-More important than your lovely mom?!

*Ellie trying to escape* -*Birb still shouting in the background* The mom that gave you food and a roof over your head!

_________

-Okay let‘s just go on… Forget abt that! May I introduce my dear mother Wednesday Addams!

*Wednesday sitting at her typewriter trying her best to not react*

-Don‘t worry guys, she might look scary but she‘s really just very concentrated right now!

-Ellie, did you already wash the dishes? And clean your room? What abt bringing out the garbage?

-Oookayyy we‘re moving on I think! _________

-Good

*walks in the living room* -This is Momma Lorraine! Momma say Hi!

*Lorraine looking in the camera thoughtfully*

-This is the wrong angle to film correctly, sweetie. You have to stay still with your hands, otherwise it‘s hard to follow the camera. Wait, let me just show you!

-Yeah yeah I know momma, but I really don‘t have time for this now! You can teach me another time.

*Ellie flees while she still can* _________

-Damn that was close! Anyways-

*walking into one of the bedrooms*

-meet my mommy Vada! You‘ll see, she‘s very much still a baby!

*Vada laying in bed with laptop on her lap*

-Well…

*Vada just laying there with her head in an uncomfortable position, eyes shut and a bit of slobber dripping down the corner of her lips*

-Mommy? U still alive? *snores lightly*

-Told you! Very much a baby! She‘s the actually child here you know! I should definetly take a picture!

_________ Part 2?

(Sry English‘s not my first language… I hope it‘s legible)

No stop this is so adorable I can't, Ellie just showing off her big happy family cause she just loves them all so much 🥹

(Also, your English is phenomenal bestie... and if you've got a pt 2 then absolutely send it over 👀)

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 2:

July 16, 2034

[2 weeks and 4 days after Chapter 1]

Raines age: 16 years, 5 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 2 months

CW: D slur used

Words: 2676

Masterlist

Raines Pov:

I felt the fabric surrounding me and my body aching almost everywhere.

I opened my eyes, immediately squinting them at the bright light.

"Wh.. where.." I mumbled my thoughts, my mouth felt dry and my ears rung.

"Hello?" my throat was scratchy, my voice raspy.

I turned my head to the left, my head spun in circles and a black rim surrounded my vision. I saw an empty chair, I looked down to where I was layed.. "Where.." I panted, where the fuck am I?

The more I looked the more medical supplies I saw, am I in some communities hostpital? no, that's impossible.

I moved my legs off the edge of the bed, and went to stand but immediately fell to the ground to my bare knees, my head fell back and I groaned in pain.

After sitting there with my head spinning, I forced myself to get up. "Mother?" I mumbled outloud, It was meant to be loud, to be a scream even, but my voice came out small and quiet.

Once I stood up again, leaning against the bed, I looked around the room. I saw pills sitting on the table beside the bed, I almost fell again from how quickly my legs moved to it. I lifted the bottle, morphine sulfate tablets. I unscrewed the bottle, dumping out the pills, there was only two pills left in the bottle, so I took them both.

I dropped the bottle once I saw water, I unscrewed the bottle and chugged the whole thing. I dropped the, now empty, bottle to the ground as well. I need to get out of here..

I looked down to my outfit to see that I was wearing a hospital gown. Fuck, where are my normal clothes? Whatever.

I leaned against the wall to make my way out of the room, it was dark in the halls. I made my way down the hall until I got to a lobby, there was a desk with what looked to be some sort of documents scattered around the table.

I slowly made my way to the desk to see what it is, maybe get a clue of where I am, maybe this is the fireflies? God I hope it is.

The papers seemed to be just keeping track of the hostpitals inventory. Boring.

"Raine?"

I never lifted my head faster. "Who- the fuck- where am I- Don't fucking come any closer, i'll fuck you up"

The girl raised her hands, "Calm down, I assume you don't remember anything?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? Remember what?"

୨♡୧

The nurse sat me down and said that I was in a coma for over 2 weeks. I wasn't buying anything she was saying, why would they take me in to take care of me and waste all their medication? They don't know me.

She explained to me that two of their citizens who were out on patrol had found me in a library coughing up blood, and that was part of the reason I went into the coma- apparently choking on my own vomit. I don't know, but i'm over this whole thing. I need to get back on the road. Plus i'm still waiting for this girl to whip out a gun and kill me.

"Well, that was very nice of this.. Jackson place, to take me in and waste all their medication instead of leaving me to die, even though its also really fucking stupid. I mean- I could be a baby murderer for all you guys know. But anyways, where's my shit? I mean, my bookbag that has my guns and journal in it and my clothes, where are my clothes? Can I just get my shit and leave please? I was kind of in the middle of something"

The nurse looks at me almost dumbfounded. And then laughs. I looked at her confused. "Wow.. well, you definitely are not leaving until a few more weeks. I would say at least 2 months to be safe-"

"Okay, fuck you. I didn't ask for you guys to save me, like I said, thank you, but I will be on my way, just give me my shit back. Why the fuck do you care anyways? It's not like i'm asking for extra ammo or food"

"Look, dear, I don't know where you are headed, but you are in no condition to be out on the road. You can't even walk straight-"

"Then fucking send me out tomorrow, i'll be back to good by then"

"No.. you won't. Like I said, you were nearly dead when we found you. I'm supprised you're still even with us, it's gonna take weeks for you to heal. And considering you came all the way from Boston, doesn't it sound nice to have a break?"

"What?"

Boston? How the fuck does she know about Boston? Did she read my fucking journal or something?"

The nurse looked at Raine confused, forgetting that she hadn't told her about who found her.

"How do you know I came from there?"

"Oh, I completely forgot to mention. The main reason we saved you is because the girl who found you at the library already knew you, so we did actually know that you weren't a baby murderer."

"What? Who? Is- was... was it fucking Julie?"

"I'm sorry dear, I don't know any Julie. It was Ellie Williams"

I stood up from my chair, looking down at her in her chair. "What the fuck kind of joke is this? You fucking read through my journal or some shit? What kind of sick fucks are you!"

The nurse kept on trying to calm Raine down, but with the drugs she took setting in, it caused her mood swings, along with just coming out of a coma she was still in agitation state.

I moved her hands off of my shoulders, and shoved her to the ground, I felt tears in my eyes, I kicked the nurse in the stomach, watching as she hunched over in pain, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Once I saw her gripping at her stomach, I decided to make a run for it. It was night time, it was dark out. Maybe I can make it out of here?

I ran down the halls to the staircase. I ran down the steps passing each floors until I got to the bottom floor, I didn't hear any footsteps following behind me, "Fucking week ass nurse couldn't even get up after that" I whispered to myself with a chuckle.

I saw the exit sign and ran to it, I opened the doors to a big village, they had lights everywhere, but everyone seemed to be indoors,

I can still make it.

Okay, maybe not.

A lady with short blonde hair gripped tightly onto my shoulders, "Get the fuck off of me!"

The lady was strong, and I hated to admit it, but with the state I was in, I was weak.

"Shh, shh, calm down, its okay, you're safe here. Please calm down."

I gave up. I couldn't fight anymore.

"My name's Maria, i'm the leader of Jackson"

A women as the leader, thats a good sign

"What caused you to be this agitated and try to run away?" Maria asked

"The fucking- the nurse" I panted, my heart was beating so fucking fast.

"Hey, you're gonna be okay, just breath" Maria helped me catch my breath. Once I was breathing normally, she continued. "What did the nurse do?"

"She's a liar. She- she read my personal journal- a- and she's saying someone from my past fucking found me and brought my here"

Maria slowly nodded. "Okay, I know this might seem, impossible, but nobody read your journal. Nobody even opened your bag. It's safely placed in my office. Nobody even knew you had a journal. Now.. I believe this person you're talking about.. are you talking about Ellie?"

My heart went back to my throat, my breathing picked up again, "Why- why do you know her name? Wh- why"

"Keep calm, everythings okay. Ellie lives in this community, she said she knew you back at the Boston QZ, is that correct?"

I nodded, but my confusion grew. "How- thats not possible, Ellie- Ellie.. I thought she was dead.. how the fuck- why the fuck would she be all the way over here? You're lying to me"

"I'm not lying to you. Do you want to see her with your own eyes?"

I quickly shook my head no. No way do I wanna face her after putting her through that year of misery.

"That's okay, and I understand how crazy it seems, both of you from Boston ending up in Jackson, Wyoming, I was shocked to hear it myself, but it's true."

"I.. I dont have time for this, can you take me to your office so I can get my bag and leave?"

"You may have your stuff.. minus the guns. And you won't be leaving till you're stable."

"Please.." I whispered, my eyes burning

"Why are you in such a rush? May I ask where you're headed?"

"Actually.. maybe you could help me? C- can I ask a question?"

"Sure.. go ahead, I hope I have the answer you're looking for."

"Is- or was anyone in this community ever a firefly?"

I could tell by Marias eyes that she got confused from the question.

"Uh.. yeah, we have a few. My husband was on-"

"Really?" My eyes light up- is this really it? am I finally gonna get there?

"Yeah.."

"Can I please speak to your husband? Where is he? What time is it? Is he still awake?"

"Yeah, you can talk to him.. he still is awake, its only 21:00. Hes still at Joels, come on, i'll take you there"

Maria started walking, and I, now calmed down a lot more and new found hope in my bones, happily walked beside her.

"So who's this Joel guy?"

"He's uh.. He's his brother."

"Oh, nice. So what's the ex-fireflies name?"

"Tommy"

The rest of the walk was Maria giving me a tour, all though I didn't pay attention at all. We had stopped at her house and she gave me clothes- just a pair of jeans and a white tanktop (and new undergarments) and we were back on our walk

"This is it... look, I don't know what you want to talk with him about, but.. I wouldn't get your hopes up too high. Once you're done talking, come to my house and i'll let you stay in the extra bedroom we have"

I nodded to her, hoping I would somehow remember where her house was after.

I knocked at the door, glancing slightly behind me watching Maria walk away. Fuck. Couldn't she just have stayed to introduce me to them and then leave?

I shook my leg up and down, staring at the ground biting my lips, hearing men talking inside, although I couldnt make out what they were saying. Wait, what the fuck did Maria meant by-

"Hello?"

A confused mid aged man opened the door, "H- hi, uh, Maria showed me to here, i'm looking for tommy?"

The man nodded, "And you are..?"

"Fuck- right, im Raine- Raine Laval"

The mans eyebrows raised, "Oh, wow, you uh, you're on your feet now, how long have you been awake?"

"Oh.. just about an hour"

"And you're already walking around?"

"Uh..."

"Sorry for my manners, come in" It was only until now that I realized he had an accent, sounded southern.

"Um, are you tommy or.."

"No, Tommy is just in the living room, i'm Joel, it's nice to finally meet you"

"Oh, thanks"

Joel brought me to the living room were another man sat, "Well, take a seat anywhere, we were just wrapping up a game of cards"

I nodded awkwardly, trying to ignore my shakey hands, I sat in the comfy chair as they sat on the sofa, cards facing down were on the table.

"Tommy, this is Raine"

Tommys eyebrows raised slightly looking at me, before he cleared his throat, "Hello Raine, good to see you on your feet, you here for Ellie?"

My eyebrows scrunched confused and shook my head no, I still don't even believe these people about Ellie. There's just no fucking way. And why the fuck would Ellie be at the random old guys house?

"I- i'm here for you.. I wanted to speak to an ex-firefly.." I said nervously, bobbing my knee up and down, picking at scabs at my arms.

"Oh.. well, what for? Did you have questions?"

"Yeah.. I- I've been looking for the fireflies for the past year now, I never got a direct answer, just that it was out west and more in the middle.." I watched as Tommy and Joel both turned to look at eachother, Joels mouth opened to speak but closed back up right after, and they both looked back at me. I started to get even more anxious at that.

"Uh.. so, you know, as an ex firefly, do you.. maybe know? Where they are at? Specifically the ones that were looking for the cure?"

"Look kid.. I, uh," Tommy spoke, glancing back at Joel and then to me, "I don't think there are.. any fireflies, looking for a cure anymore"

"What.. what do you mean?"

"They.. they where looking for one.. and they even- they even found people that were immune, but, their immunity didn't do anything.. they couldnt create a vaccine with it or anything.. so they.. they gave up" Joel said, scratching the back of his head.

I scoffed, "No, I don't think you understand, they wouldn't just give up, she wouldn't just give up." I stood up, eyebrows furred, almost yelling.

"They did, I know it might be a lot to take it, but they all went their separate ways" Joel said, standing up, I walked over to him, pointing my finger at him, "What the fuck do you know? You were never even a firefly were you? Huh? Why the fuck should I believe you anyways?!" I pushed on his chest. I felt myself loosing hope.

"I know it sounds crazy-" Joel tried

"Sounds crazy?! Sounds fucking crazy? What the fuck is up with this fucking community and saying the most impossible, unbelievable, bullshit? Do you guys really think im that fucking dumb! I mean seriously? What the fuck is up with this town?"

Joel contuined to try and calm me down, placing his hands on my shoulders, "No, get your FUCKING hands off of me! Don't fucking touch me, don't tell me to fucking calm down! I did not come all the way from fucking! Boston! For nothing!" I was yelling now. Tears were running down my face.

I stopped yelling once I heard that voice, say my name, again.

"Raine?"

I turned around, snot and tears running down my face, my lips red from crying.

I scoffed once I saw her stand side by side with a girl. She had short black hair and tattoos. I looked down to see their fingers tangled, but once Ellie noticed I saw, she quickly let go, and took a step away from the girl.

I felt tears run down my cheeks uncontrollably, and I wasnt even blinking.

"What? You fucking found your dad or some shit?" I said bitterly, looking back at Joel and back to her, "Is that why you ran away? To be with daddy?"

I bit the inside of my cheek hard and spoke up again, walking towards them. "See you found a new dyke relationship too" I mumbled quiet enough for only the two girls to hear, as I shoved Ellie to the side to open the door and slam it shut.

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

[justagalwhowrites]

Hey queen, I’m a yearling stan and I discovered you through it and it is sooooooooooo good one of the best Joel fics I’ve read EVER and it’s had a chokehold on meeee for like the last few days

Gurl I start screaming with just the smallest of touches between them like you do slow burn so well and although it’s painful cause I just want Joel and Bambi to just kiss kiss fall in love it’s also really satisfying at the same time

I loooove Bambi, I think she’s great as a person and also as a character. Love her and Ellie being besties, and I also kinda love Ellie and Joel’s conflict in this story and Bambi being kind of like a middle ground?? Idk

I checked out the playlist and I’m soooo happy you put cowboy like me on there, it’s one of the more underrated songs from evermore. I absolutely adore it and i can really see Bambi in that song.

idk why but I also see Bambi as Lana del Rey coded for some reason, maybe because Joel’s old and they’re southern which reminds me of old western films and Lana kinda has that vibe to her…?

I also love your characterization of joeelllll, because he isn’t overly nice to the point where it bends canon, he seems like a Joel that’s been through all that traumatic stuff but is kinda starting over if you get what I mean

Anyways I love ur fic tysm for writing, forever and always

OMG Hi Bestie!!!!

I'm so happy you're here and that you're loving Yearling so much! Just thank you thank you thank you! Bambi is so near and dear to my heart and I just love when other folks love her, too.

The slow burn is gonna slow burn for a bit yet but we're getting close! And honestly once the physical intimacy tips toward sexual, things are going to advance fast. Promise <3

And yay playlist love!!!! I feel like music is so important to Bambi that I had to make one. I add songs to it every now and then, so be sure to check back in with it periodically!

And AHHHH thank you! It's such a fun challenge writing different iterations of Joel because I do try to make them true to the core character while also making them my own. This Joel has started to heal from his trauma, has an understanding of Ellie's autonomy and respects it and is in a place that he can be emotionally vulnerable. It makes for a very different Joel than Lavender Joel for example. But Soft!Joel has me in a chokehold now for reals lol (even though I miss my brooding asshole Joel a fair bit.)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE AND REACHING OUT!!! I hope you keep loving Yearling and anything else of mine you read! Love you!!!!

[funky-fox-fics]

You keep an hourglass, you do, filled to brimming with gold and white and black sands alike. It’s made of the finest mahogany, the glass a polished amber. At the top, you write in Latin: memento mori. Remember you must die. What an ironic name for a deathless person.

“The road to destruction,” mother Babel murmurs behind her knitting, “immortality is. I told you not to practice it, dear.”

“It’s fine,” you say. “I have a—you can’t even destroy this one. I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss about it.”

Mother Babel hems and haws. She stares at you, cataract-clouded eyes piercing with intensity. “There is a time to live, and a time to die,” she rasps. “Don’t remove the end of your story.”

“But there is nothing else after the end!” you cry. “How could anyone want that?”

“Peace will come, and you shall find that staying alive forever will bring more harm than good.” Her scarf is fastened with a glittering brooch of scarlet and gold, blood and beauty both.

“Besides,” you tell her, “if I do want to undo this—which I won’t—I can. It’s not like it’s permanent.”

“And how can you be so sure?” she asks, voice wheezy. She coughs.

“Because,” you say simply, “I am confident. Is that a bad thing?”

“Foolish,” she argues, “and utterly senseless. I don’t want you to drown under the weight of agelessness. No immortal man can ever dream of being on the same level as his mortal companions, no matter how selfless he is.”

“Babel,” you say. “It’ll be fine. You’re worrisome, anyway.”

Mother Babel narrows her eyes, knits, blinks but once. “It is your fault,” she says finally, in the terse way that means that she’ll pretend she’s deaf if you press.

You rub your finger over the hourglass that will never run out. Your sand speck is black, like the ashy beaches of New Embros. You’ve always longed to go there, but Mother Sodom has never let you. Instead, you still dwell in Lotus Grove. Maybe with your invincibility, you can explore New Embros—maybe even Khoski Highlands!

“Then that’s fine,” you say, and can barely hide the smugness in it. “Then that’s fine.”

—

You travel around with your hourglass. The Timer, you say, delighting all the fanciful and astounding the logical. Most think to put theirs in something such as a box, or a pearl. When you tell them it is a sand grain, not the hourglass itself, that hides your eternal soul—well. The name of Sandskeeper becomes your title, and just as well your legacy.

You are revered through Enso. Embrosian merchants clamor to know you, while Khoskian thieves whisper about your cleverness. You are mot the first to immortalize yourself, but certainly the smartest. You carry your life on a necklace. You cannot die.

Despite Babel’s concerns, you are sure; you are the most powerful person to have ever lived.

And then the hourglass breaks.

—

“Now, now,” says the dark-skinned woman. “Elli, be careful around the Sandskeeper’s necklace.”

“I will,” says the girl in a wheedly voice. You quite dislike her, but the woman is a notable priest who hopes to become immortal, just as you are. She holds a simple canary feather, golden and bright as the sun.

“Now,” you say, “it is very common nowadays to immortalize yourself.” This part is always required by law, but you hate it. “Do you truly wish to embark on such a journey of agelessness, so that neither man nor animal can strike you down?”

The woman is eager, nodding. “Of course.”

You run a hand over your hourglass, and take it off. The glass in tarnished; perhaps you need to replace it. It would be the first time you’d ever done so. A nice change of pace, you think. Three hundred years have hardly beautified the hourglass.

You begin to explain the arduous process of necromancy, putting the hourglass aside. You do not notice the sly hand that deftly swipes the hourglass from behind you. The mother is too focused on your explanation, teasing her very spirit into the feather. She hisses in pain as she does. Most people do.

“Now,” you begin, reaching over to your hourglass and not taking your eyes off the woman, “you want to—“

You grab empty air.

You pause. “You want to…” you begin again, twisting about yourself. “You want to… where is it?” A bolt of panic shoots through you. “Where is it?”

The mother’s eyes grow panicked at your worry. “Somewhere around here,” she says in a soothing voice, one done well by motherhood. “I’m sure of it.”

“It’s gone,” you gasp. “God, it’s gone. Where could it be?”

“I don’t know,” the mother says worriedly. “I don’t know. Let’s search the village. You had it with you when you came here, yes?”

“Of course I did,” you snap bitterly. “I left it alone for narry a second, it shouldn’t have—“

Footsteps pitter-patter outside the walls. They are frantic, frenzied, quick like a rabbit’s.

“Jordan?” the mother breathes, glancing out the window. “But why is he here? Unless—he is not carrying your hourglass.”

“I am not blind,” you bite. “Nor stupid.”

Before either of you can say anymore, the boy bursts in, tears glittering on his cheeks. He gasps for breath between sobs.

“Jordan?” the mother frets. “What is it?”

The boy chokes on tears. “Don’t kill me, Sandskeeper,” he says in a trembling voice.

“We shall see whether that becomes true,” you say firmly. “Why would I kill you?”

The boy turns to you, hazel eyes wide with disposable mortality. His lips and hands alike tremble. You pity him.

“Elli broke your hourglass,” he breathes.

For a moment, complete silence comes of your shock. Your hourglass. Broken. Liar, you want to call him, but he cries in a too-truthful way. Your soul is gone in a sea of sand, the speck assimilated into dust. Your breath, like his, is quick in your lungs.

Fury takes you over in your stillness, and your dagger—tipped with heart-stopping poison—comes to your hands. You yell, a primal and terrible thing, and stab the boy in his chest. A quick, far too merciful death.

There is barely any blood. His breath and tears stop suddenly, and he goes limp in the woman’s arms. You wrench out the dagger and, ah, there’s the blood. You stare at him, trembling, vengeance unsatisfied.

The woman begins to shriek, and so you do her the favor of letting her pass with a strike to the throat. Her cry dies with her, and now there are two corpses in the cottage. What an unpleasant scene. You stare, fury like bile in your throat, and do not register the two dead bodies except as payback, except as revenge.

“I should have asked the boy where Elli was,” you say in a menacingly quiet voice, but there is no one to hear it.

You sheath your dagger again and stride briskly to the neighboring house. You throw open the door and bark, “Where is the one known as Elli?”

“Tiana!” screams a man. “How dare you kill Tiana and Jordan!”

“Where is Elli?” you demand.

“Bring them both back!”

“Where is Elli?”

“She went to play a few streets away,” says a young girl, perhaps as young as Elli herself—eleven or so, maybe a mature ten-year-old.

“In which direction?” you ask.

She jabs her finger out the window. “Left, straight, right, right,” she breathes, face pale. The man has run to the back room for a weapon, most likely, or perhaps to tell the townsfolk. You will be done with Elli before he can do anything.

You depart, and follow the girl’s instructions. Left, straight, right… As you round the final right, you glimpse a gaggle of girls, crowded around a certain spot in the streets.

“Let me through,” you growl as you near them.

They part wordlessly, and you stand over the ruins of what you are. The sand is all scattered across the road, indistinct, mixed with shards of glass. You stare, and stare, and stare as anger and hatred and fury build up in your chest.

“Where is Elli,” you say in a snarl.

“She’s, um—“ says a girl with bright blue eyes. “I’m pretty sure she went over to the priest’s, after she broke it. Something about confessing your sins?” She swallows.

You cannot take it anymore. You scream and turn on the girls, swinging your knife. Your dagger strikes three, including the helpful one, and you throw it at a fleeing girl. Four have gotten away. The three are spasming, trembling on the ground, writhing in the throes of death, screaming and gurgling and coughing air that won’t make it in.

You retrieve the dagger from the fourth girl, who wears a beaded necklace that spells out K-I-N-D-N-E-S-S. You sigh. “Poor thing,” you say remorselessly, and the weight of the dagger is good in your hand.

Pity. The three girls’ pretty pink dresses are stained with dark red. What a tragedy. You sheath the dagger again, careful to not prick yourself. That would go quite badly, seeing as you do not know where your own soul is.

You go to stand back over the sand. Nothing is quelled. Your spirit hungers for more-more-more, blood and death and gasping gasping gasping.

Elli is next, you know this.

You run.

—

You find Elli outside of a common house. She nibbles on a piece of bark-brown bread.

“Elli,” you say, smoothing out your clothes. “Elli.”

Elli jumps with a scream. You consider killing her now, in return for breaking your hourglass. No—cat and mouse is the best way to play this game.

“Y-yes?” she stammers, pressing her back to the wall. “Sandskeeper?”

In a fluid motion, you take out an unpoisoned dagger made of finest gold—your show dagger, the one not meant to kill—and press it against her neck.

“If you scream,” you say in a low voice, “you will die.”

“I’m sorry!” she sobs, shaking against the blade. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to break your hourglass! Don’t kill me, please!”

“Shut it,” you hiss. She does. “I killed your mother, your friends, Jordan. Do you want to know why?”

She inhales sharply, and it’s clear the only thing keeping her from wailing is the knife against her neck. “No, sir.”

“To torture you before I finally killed you,” you lie. “No one gets away with wronging the Sandskeeper. Do you understand?”

Elli’s eyes dart everywhere—the house, the street, the sky, the sides. There is nowhere for her to run. “Yes,” she says meekly. “I understand.”

“Good,” you say, and slit her throat.

You wear gloves of black silk, so you place those on her hands and stab her corpse a few more times for good measure. She screams, her throat coated with blood, but you do not particularly care. Vengeance is sweet, like sugar, like a refreshing drink of water.

(And—)

(And—)

Then, before you can relish in your vengeance, in the freedom of revenge, you stop.

You cannot breathe. Your heart does not beat. Your thoughts stop abruptly, and just before your brain stops working, you glimpse your flesh, and the briefest shock flashes through you before you can feel no more.

Your blood and skin and flesh… have turned to glass.

—

Sylvia strides into the temple. She is adorned in all black, eyes dark and determined. The temple is silent, save for the click of her shoes on the floor.

“Madam Sylvia,” says the priest as she walks up to him.

“And you are…?”

“Oleg.” The man stands and bows shortly. “Daughter of Magdalene?”

“Indeed,” says Sylvia. “Is the Sandskeeper dead?”

“…yes,” says the priest after some hesitation. “I’m sorry for your—“

“Good riddance,” Sylvia says. “Is that all? I needn’t have dressed up for something as fortunate as this.”

“Do not speak ill of the dead, no matter how sinful in life!” exclaims Oleg.

“That is your tradition, not mine,” Sylvia tells him. “I can say whatever I’d like about them, thank you very much. They were a terrible, terrible person, always so susceptible to rage and violence and pride. I do wish they had gone out without so much bloodshed…” She sighs. “But I knew their end would not be a peaceful one. How did you finally kill them?”

“One of Elli’s friends—she’s the one who broke the hourglass, Elli was—was in possession of a flame charm from the fire swallowers of New Embros. She managed to set all the road ablaze, and her friend put it all out once news of the Sandskeeper’s death came to them.”

“Clever,” Sylvia says. “And they—transformed into a glass statue, am I correct?”

“You are. We could not bury it.” The priest tugs on his robe. “We plan to exhibit it in our museum, along with the dead’s names and graves. With your permission, of course.”

“Do so,” she says, laughing like a hen. “I would love to see the Sandskeeper on display. Suits them right.”

The priest settles onto a stone bench. “Then we need a name for the exhibit. I was thinking of The Elli Massacre, but perhaps something like The Murders Of The Sandskeeper or The Shattered Hourglass would be more relevant?”

Sylvia considers, rocking back on her heels. She glances all about, smiles, laughs at a realization. She dusts herself off.

“What is it?” asks the priest curiously, leaning in. “Did you think of something?”

Sylvia laughs again and adjusts her red-and-gold brooch on her neck. “I did.”

“What?”

“The Memento Mori Massacre.” She grins like a cat at the priest. “It’s rather fitting, isn’t it?”

Storing your soul in a single grain of sand seemed like a good idea for immortality, until you actually had to keep track of it.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 18 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

I reached for my cell-phone on the other side of my desk, my hand slightly trembling as I did so, and went to me recent calls.

My thumb hovered  over my mother's number and wavered before pressing down and calling her.

It only rang once before she picked up.

"Elijah?"

"Mom," I rasped, mentally punching myself for thinking this was a good idea.

"Have you decided to come home?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut so tight that I started seeing dots.

My mind was conflicted and there was a tug of war between my heart and brain, causing searing pain throughout my body.

My heart won and I answered.

"I've decided to come home to see you," I told her.

"To talk."

"Oh," she replied, sounding slightly disappointed but her mood picked back up.

"That's great. When will you be over?"

"Sunday afternoon," I replied.

I decided it was best that I picked the time, that way I would feel more in control of the situation despite actually feeling powerless.

"Will you be coming to church with us?"

I held back a scoff.

"No."

"I wish you would," she urged.

"No," I repeated.

"I'm not going there."

Mom let out a sigh.

"Fine," she relented.

"You can come to church some other time."

That wasn't likely to happen but I didn't want to argue with her about it any longer.

"I'll make you some lunch when you come over," Mom said after a few moments of silence.

"Okay."

"I'm glad you called," she told me with a content sigh.

"Yeah..." I trailed.

"I gotta go Mom."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll see you Sunday," she replied.

I bid her a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone and I couldn't help the dreadful, squeezing feeling in the pit of my stomach, squeezing so tightly that it felt as though my stomach had shrunken to the size of my fist.

I hoped this wouldn't blow up in my face.

********

Wednesday night came too soon.

After hockey practice ended, Fox and I changed out of our hockey equipment and met Claudia, who was waiting for us on the bench.

"Fox," she called out as soon as we made our way back to the rink.

"I need your help tying these."

He rolled his eyes but walked over to her anyway, bending down on one knee and propping her skate up so he could lace and tie them.

I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my throat as I watched them.

"God, Claudia. When's the last time you even used these? The blades are fucking dull," Fox hissed in annoyance.

She smacked the side of his head.

"Don't yell at me."

"I'm not yelling, I'm just..."

"Just tie my skates," she interjected.

Fox muttered something under his breath but finished lacing and tying her skates anyway. Instead of watching them, I stepped out onto the ice and began gliding around the rink with my hands in my pockets.

I looked over at the bench and saw that Fox was standing on the ice, Claudia tightly holding onto his hand as he guided her.

The sight of them together caused an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I looked down at my feet, shuffling my skates on the ice.

"Hey," Fox called out, causing me to look up and see him pulling Claudia along as she clung onto him for dear life.

"I'm not doing this all alone, get over here."

I sighed and skated over to the two of them with a sullen look on my face.

"No backing out," Fox shot at me, motioning for me to come closer.

Fox moved to let go of Claudia and she let out a shriek in protest.

"Claudia," Fox said in a warning tone.

"You can't let go of me," she exclaimed, gripping him tighter.

"Just stand on your own," he yelled back.

I was beginning to understand why the two of them weren't together anymore but that didn't make me feel any better.

Claudia finally let go of Fox and stood on her own, stumbling a bit as she tried to balance.

"Spread your feet more," Fox told her and she complied, screeching as she slid a little bit.

"Come forward."

Claudia held out her hands for me to take.

I let out a sigh and grabbed onto both of her hands, skating backwards so I could pull her along.

"You're never going to learn if you just have Elijah pull you around the ice," Fox sighed, following us.

"Leave me alone, you're so mean," Claudia shot back.

"Elijah is so much nicer."

I smirked over at Fox.

"Yeah, I'm nicer."

Fox stopped and watched us with an irritated look as we continued around the ice.

Claudia chuckled.

"He's so easy to tease."

"I know," I replied with a chuckle.

"So, you two dated and he never took you ice skating?"

Claudia threw her head back in laughter.

"Oh, he did but it was always a disaster."

"And he was sweet about it at first," she continued.

"But later in our relationship, we stopped going because he got annoyed at how bad I was."

She laughed again, not seeming bothered by talking about her relationship with Fox.

"Fox being sweet?" I joked, suddenly feeling slightly more comfortable around her.

"He can be very sweet," she confirmed.

"But he's also an ass. You know how he is."

"Are you going to actually skate or what?" Fox questioned, skating up quickly behind us and startling Claudia.

She jumped back but I held her up to prevent her from falling.

"You jerk," she shouted at him.

Fox just laughed and skated away.

Eventually, we got Claudia to skate on her own.

She wasn't great at it but after an hour or so we decided that was all we could teach her and Fox offered to drive me home.

********

"I called my mom last night," I randomly brought up as I sat in the passengers seat of his car.

"How did that go?" he asked, looking over at me as we still sat in the parking lot.

"Alright, I guess," I muttered.

"I'm going to see her on Sunday."

Fox nodded.

"That's good, right?"

I sighed and leaned my head back on the head rest.

"I don't know if it is."

"Hey," Fox grabbed my attention, reaching out to touch my leg.

I turned my head slightly to look at him.

"It'll be fine," he continued.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know," I murmured, turning my head to look out the windshield.

"I guess I just really want this to work out, for her to accept me and I'm just worried that it won't."

"I think it's worth a shot," Fox consoled me.

"The worst she could do is kick you out of her house, again."

I looked over at Fox with a slightly amused look to see his teasing expression beaming back at me.

"I guess you're right."

"I am," he assured me.

"And if it all blows up, you can call me and I'll come get you."

I tried to hold back a smile but failed, my lips parting slightly to show my teeth.

"Thanks, Fox."

"Didn't I tell you, not to thank me?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

I just ignored him and shook my head with a laugh.

This friendship was beginning to feel more real than any other I ever had.

It caused a warmth in my chest that was so strong I bet it made my skin glow and for that, I was grateful.

[yourstrulymoonpie-blog]

Dear Ellie

Sorry I haven’t wrote in a while I’ve just been going through a lot per usual. This is gonna sounds crazy but my partner and I ended up coming you with a little fib to tell our friends just to see if that person is truly our friend our what but they have a tendency of trying to call up us about certain situations. And honestly I feel like they can’t because they don’t have responsibilities the way we do. I try not to take anything they do or say to offense because at the end of the day, they won’t understand until they are in out shoes. I try not to give off too much details I don’t want one day for them to end up finding this blog and try to say anything. I’m sorry if it’s kinda dry. I really wish I can go into detail but it’s hard.

Another thing I have to try to find a therapist. I have alot of things going on in my mind and alot of trauma but I don’t want to talk about with my partner. I ended up buying a basically burn book but the first few pages it just wants to talk about my past from when I was a child and I don’t feel comfortable talking about let alone writing about it. So it’s just been sitting on my night stand as I’m just watching night after night hour after hour I just can’t bring myself to write abOut my past.

I need help to navigate everything I’ve been through and I know that but it’s so hard and complicated idk what to do. Having a therapist is expensive and even harder to find one that suits you the most.

Anyways Ellie I’m sorry this is just everywhere I’m just writing what I’m thinking about right now but I hope I don’t forget about you. I’m gonna try and be more active.

SecurelyYoursTruly