#im oversharing again
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i was a very brave girl today and i drove my sister to urgent care which doesnt seem like much but driving is my literal personal hell so...
#i think eddie would be very proud of me#also i may write a blurb about eddie calming you down after getting overstimulated#and just self indulge in him being so understanding of all my mental problems#because irl it feels lilke genuinely no one understands what my mental process is#and i cant ever put it into words#i just feel like eddie would get it#anyway#im oversharing again#vics thoughts
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everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name
#im living proof! i wasnt always called kiwi but now i am and it rocks#but mostly im just worried about all these kids wayyy oversharing personal info online#not to be like aaaggghh kids these days. but.#um people are sharing their full names and schools and deepest secrets with their FACE ATTACHED#i surely dont need to explain why thats scary#tiktok trends where u share stuff you would Never tell people irl.... WITH!!! YOUR FACE!!!!! IN FULL VIEW!!#WHHH.... WHY...........#Get Scared of Internet Strangers Again Please!
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#im bringing the drake meme back for this special occasion#the special occasion being the end of my imagination's incarceration#I SUBMITTED THE WORK ITS DONE YAYYY#im back with my “fiction saves lives” agenda#if anyone likes writing nonfiction please teach me your ways#im oversharing again#okay bye#/end of tags ✨️#no wait actually i should make another meme for the nonfiction writers (love yall but you scare me)#writers on tumblr
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i think you should brag more about getting laid. someone has to around here
🫡
#i will be oversharing in the tags again because i had so fun ok ok ok. it was so nice. im still reeling a bit#im making the first couple tags long so they go under the cut in case any1 does not want to read this. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah#ok that should do it. as i was saying#at one point when i was feeling a bit shy taking my sports bra off he promised to keep his eyes closed until i told him he cld open them#(i have some chest dysphoria and wasnt sure how i was gonna navigate it in an intimate setting)#but then i sorta paused cuz i remembered i got this pair of black sheer + lace thigh high stockings recently but hadnt worn em much yet#so i was like waitwait keep em closed one sec. and I put them on and when i told him to open his eyes he was like 👀👀👀#i forgot all abt my previous anxieties#anyways the stocking material felt really nice to rub all over his neck + shoulders + chest when he was inside me#ANYWAYS. im high#oh oh also the whole time we wr at it he was wearing a pair of pastel pink pusheen the cat socks he recently got as a white elephant gift 😂#he later pointed out how funny the contrast was between the two
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im supposed to be productive today but instead im trying to get the guy I went out with last week to send me a dick pic
#bitts posts#i say trying but this isnt like. a coercive thing at all#he just likes teasing me and drawing it out#and im demanding it in the first place because i waited until my period was over to ask him to hang out again#bc thats why we didnt fuck last time (he was actually down but any sort of penetration makes me cramps WAY worse)#ONLY TO FIND OUT HE HAD TO GO BACK TO THE CITY FOR WORK#LEFT ME HERE#who am i supposed to fuck now??? some stranger??? absolutely not#anway. that concludes your noon edition of bitts oversharing in the tags
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Sometimes watching Community is like "Abed's just like me fr 😃" and sometimes it's "Abed's just like me fr ☹️"
#inspired by the fact that my therapist said i can send her show or movie scenes to explain how im feeling#and im slightly debating on sending her a scene from Community#the one in contemporary american poultry where talks how connecting to people is difficult#idk if I'll actually do it bc thats terrifying but its an idea in my brain#sorry for oversharing on tumblr dot com again#Abed nadir#nbc community#community
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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This is a more new one, I think I started on early december. I think the inspiration is obvious.
I love Bob's Burgers Movie and this is my second fav song of the film. It just so well done for every character. 4 diferent songs in one, what else could you pssible want?
And also since my first draw I had the intention to make a new wallpaper for my celphone, Hate to have the same wallpaper for too long. Like a year is my limit.
this one for a strange reason doesn't have the blob, don't know if I accidentally erased or what.
#bob's burgers#my art#...#i dunno#I love Sunny Side of Summer#I sing it every time it pop up on youtube#and you don't understand when I say sing Im not just huming or singalong#I literally perform#you should see it my family totally hated it#I even dance a little#well is more like me moving my arms weirdly#but hey le pongo sason#sorry for oversharing again#hehe
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the somewhat good news: i have about…16k?? of a longer wip in the drafts…??
the less-good news: i am getting close to the stage of not caring about said draft anymore
#wizstruggles.txt#once again#it’s called cope#why do i care this much about something im doing for free and for fun?#wish i could tell you#this is why my adhd mind seems to work best with an actual deadline even with the weird typos that sometimes slip through#oversharing dot org
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cw: age regression
thinking about caregiver Graves who's genuinely just the sweetest. hes an old man at heart and hes always calm and sweet, being more than happy to let you play or colour on the floor of his office while he does paperwork. always glancing over at you and making sure you remember to drink enough.
taking you into this lap and kissing your head, bouncing you on his lap while cooing at you, asking you what you played or what you drew (if you drew something he will put it up in a specific spot - he always has your latest drawing up in that spot and once he takes the old one down he puts them all in a drawer to keep them safe)
and when its bed time he puts you in his lap and reads to you until you doze off, carrying you to bed and tucking you in, making sure you have your stuffies and your paci
#im sorry traumas been hitting hard lately and im this close to going back to regressing again 🥰#im oversharing#sorry#gothghostiie#ask ghostiie#age regression#agere#sfw#cod#call of duty#Phillip Graves#little space
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Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again
#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining#once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol#like idk how to be friends#i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely#and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have#actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality#i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again#because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it#pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic#how do i start living again#how does one live anyway#im just in my head all the time#this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness#im so stupid!!!#im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself#im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself#but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go#idk how to be a person anymore#i’m just sad#thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol
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cause im 2 scared 2 tell my friends the way i really fucking feel
#goblin -- tyler the creator#lyric posting#fr tho#last time i was always open and honest abt how i feel i said 2 much#overshared over and over and didn't even realize how bad of a person i was being#and bcuz of that im so scared 2 actually be honest abt that shit#im better i wont do it again#but still#the fear is there
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financial independence changed my whole outlook on life i really mean that. i will work my ass off and i will do it for MYSELF and it feels so rewarding to know that i dont have to answer to anyone about my time or money but ME. it gives me the motivation to do the best i can so i can give myself the best life possible u know
#talky cherub#JUST THINKIN ABOUT THIS#sometimes im so grateful for that 7 yr relationship ending because it forced me to take care of myself#well i mean. i have to answer to my job ALKFDLA but u kno what i mean. personal relationships. tjats what im referring to.#the other day#my mom was like . lecturing me abt something about my car and i was like gurl u dont pay my insurance. u cant tell me a thing#and she likes to tell me how to spend my money#DONT buy this DONT buy that#HELLO I HAVE A WHOLE BUDGET and u dont have access to my accounts . mind your business!#sorry for oversharing again <3#tmi cherub
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writing my first reader with self confidence but they are also passively suicidal so you know you win some you lose some
#sophie speaks#i just dont like writing mentally capable readers#i cant imagine a world where i am fully sane honestly#because i was ~born wrong~ (its really just level 2 needs autism)#i mean ive been fucked up since at least 9 years old so#i love the DSM 5 its such a funny thing. what do you mean there are people in my head and have been there for most of my life#thats crazy dawg#again with the tmi#i just really enjoy oversharing on tumblr#its not like im gonna tell anyone irl about this stuff#i already look enough like a serial killer#which i am not btw
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idk this is probably a very personal experience but I find it so annoying that every therapist, counsellor I talk to just seems to go ‘oh looks like you can deal with it’. Like I know enough tricks to be productive, I fucking understand why I’m failing and I intellectually know if I don’t procrastinate I’ll get so much more done. I get it’s probably meant as empowerment but it feels dismissive I don’t keep going to appointments for fun.
like this is not even blaming them idk if there is anything they can do other that encourage me but with study related stuff specifically they give the impression of not caring if you’re doing okay academically. Like I know my grades indicate I’m doing decently but I’m not even doing as half as well as I could and it’s killing me
#Okay maybe I have the mindset an overachiever#And maybe it’s the attitude I was taught to adopt as a somewhat smart kid#And it’s probably for the best that I am not competitive about that stuff anymore#But it’s just so unsatisfactory when you can’t commit properly to what you’ve decided to do#And the barrier is your own brain#Impossible to be passionate about what ur doing#I’m just fucking tired and not inspired enough to keep wading through the brain fog#I say this but in w hours I’ll be like ‘it’s okay actually. No biggie’#Brain is literally its own enemy#But honestly we don’t need working through the issues segment I know every one of them I may be too aware even#In retrospect this is probably unhelpful#Also people constantly denying u have adhd and then blaming you for showing an adhd trait eventually#I’m just good at pretending and making up for stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m lying#Ugh rant again#Im back to my oversharing
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ngl, didn't play EA but I'm poking around datamined dialogue from an EA version- I find it very inchresting, that seemingly, they definitely turned down the dream guardian's like horniness and romantic interest. Like it seems to be implied that at one point the dream guardian like- tries to kiss you during the first encounter, like lots of notes about cheek caress, thigh touching, and leaving you with a smooch souvenir. And then in the morning you get a pretty good idea of who everyone saw (Karlach didn't have a file for it that I saw and Shadowheart's was vague, beyond- "someone she is attracted to") and Gale is funnily enough seems (from my searching) to be the only one who admits that... yeah, he smooched them...
And like, totally get why they turned that down for final release, but god if that was still the case- I would have lowkey tried not to laugh my ass off when who the dream guardian is was revealed and ask Gale how he liked the taste of squid mouth, was it worth it, bud?
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 spoilers#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#look no shame to emperor fuckers and if anyone of the companions would be an emperor fucker it would be gale given his reaction if tav turn#but like god that fucking reveal would have had such a different vibe if I knew gale had kissed his dream guardian#i love gale but that is worth some fucking bullying also given the emperor is now flirting with me seemingly exclusively in front of them#like oh im romancing gale and the squid he kissed wants me now too- am i the homewrecker in this situation?#have i now through the transitive property kissed the squid?#is this the start of the worlds weirdest throuple?#probably not being mindflayers are a bridge too far for even my monster fucker ass#which tbh is just because i'm a lot more picky about amphibious reptilians or otherwise non-mammalian based monsters#and thats probably enough oversharing in the tags#tho also for those wondering gale sees mystra astarion sees cazador laezel sees vlaiikith wyll sees mizora and again shadowhearts is vague
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