#im not too sure quite yet

[rameiixo]

animation exercise with ayase !

[itsgrimeytime]

@imaginemyfavoritefics

Magnolia in May (Part Eight) || Rick Grimes (TWD) x Greene!f!reader Regency AU

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

Taglist: @loliakeoghan23 @belaballs @curlycarley

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration (in honor of Speak Now Taylor's Version): Enchanted by Taylor Swift

Summary: Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumors of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing.

TWS: secrets, hidden information, and miscommunication.

[[ A/N: hey girlies <333. Time for some confrontation !!! This gif exudes gentleman Rick with like CONFLICT. The epitome of the current vibes of this series. This is gonna be a long one, babes, stay in it for the long haul. Thanks for reading :))) ]]

You couldn't breathe, holding the ivory paper to your chest -like the words wouldn't be there anymore. It felt like your heart was bleeding out onto the page, his matter of speak so open that you found something deep within you wishing to share that vulnerability. Despite all the pain, you wished to be somewhat closer to him.

'I ask, from the depths of my heart, don't leave Alexandria.'

Words swirling around your head, you wondered distantly if you could even make any sense out of it all. Certainly not now, with the sort of touched sorrow that twisted into your stomach -guilty and ever-so-slightly hopeful.

You'd never been so confused in your own feelings, it was so easy to villainize Lori before you knew her. And now that you had, it was hard to detach the empathy, the guilt-

It was so exhausting, and you truly wished to sleep it all away. Think later, digest later, but something had been unfinished -pushed to the side.

The invitations.

Without so much as an extra moment, you held the letter to your chest and rushed down the stairs -despite everything, you were desperate for whatever you could get from him. Initially, you'd started by the door -figuring they were maybe placed with some of the mail, but after scouring that stack, you ended up empty-handed.

They were smarter than that, you noted to yourself -turning off toward Father's desk.

His desk wasn't organized, papers and files everywhere -it was a miracle he knew where everything even was. Your fingers brushed over the tops of some stacks, waiting for the rather thick texture, or at the very least the pure ivory tone. Even as you organized stacks and siphoned through drawers, you were still left disappointed.

"God," you sighed, looking in a few telling places -bookshelves, under pillows, and even in the fireplace embers.

Someplace, somehow, you'd ended right back at the entry -cleaning the dust off a shelf with some of Father's trinkets from his travels, and your eyes caught on a stack. Hidden behind one of the statues (crafted out of some sort of heavy stone) were a number of envelopes that had yet to be mailed.

Your first instinct was that these were the ones Beth had meant to send off, and maybe, that's why you'd gathered them of your own accord. Your letters, though, if how they were delivered to you was any indication, were not in envelopes -only folded. You supposed that since they hadn't gone through the official post, there was no need.

It had to be about 5 envelopes there, just based on the feel, as you placed them down on the table -shuffling through the paper for any sort of reason for them to be stashed. Your eyes caught on the handwriting -Headmistress's, all curly letters and eloquent print, it read: Mrs. Ettington.

That name had rung a bell, a sort of old friend that she'd only been reconnecting with the past few weeks. She'd said they'd gone to school together long ago, and she was delighted to catch up. It was rather pointed, her mentioning of it to you -all details and sure you remembered the name. At the time, you'd brushed it off as her wishing to cheer you up, but now-

Your fingers were quick to break the envelope seal.

It was dated the day of the dinner, in swirled lettering across the top right -not proper for postage. It was clear this envelope was just for show.

With two fingers, you fished out the thick paper -carefully pulling the texture out onto the table. To your surprise, it was two. Handwritten notes from the mere few hours before the dinner, and you knew that handwriting by now.

'Dr. Greene and Family,' it read, in far more formal writing than what your note had been consistent of, '-It is with great sorrow that I must cancel our planned dinner scheduled for later this evening. I'm sure you're well aware of my current situation from the papers, I've even heard some of my staff gossiping, so the concept is not far-fetched. And my hope of this matter being dealt with quickly has come with its fair share of hiccups, so at this current point in time, rescheduling will be put on pause. I apologize for any inconvenience and will take it upon myself to explain this matter to Ms. Greene. If you shall wish to let me, I would request she comes to my estate on the 'morrow so as to get rid of any misunderstandings. Awaiting your response, Richard Grimes.'

"'-will take it upon myself to explain this matter to Ms. Greene,'" you read out to yourself, tone rather solid and dull. That had not happened, had the Headmistress stopped it? Or had she not noticed the note until after your return?

It wouldn't have been something to bring up then -shed tears and shivering from the rain, you were sure the thought hadn't even crossed her mind.

With a quick motion, you'd picked up the second note in the pile -the formal invitation. It resembled the same as the ball's, all perfectly cut edges and balanced, elegant printing -but not as embellished.

The words were brief but said much of the same as his letter -at least pertaining to you. It was, as Mr. Dixon had explained, a summoning. A rather direct one with an explicit purpose.

Your heart had nearly cracked out of your chest, and yet your hands reached for the next envelope -detailed a mere few days later. You were going to read them all, no matter if it hurt. You'd already been hurt, all you had wanted to do was know.

'Dr. Greene,' a more direct address, seeming to note the lack of success for the last one -still formal but not as distant as the last, '-I think you know what I'm contacting you for, either from the previous letter or mayhaps from your own daughter returning late last evening. Is she well? I tried to get her a carriage but she refused and the rain hasn't even let up well into the next day. If you would be so kind as to let me know if she's ill, it would soothe me greatly. And do not hesitate to ask for any sort of monetary assistance if the care is needed, I understand she's in great hands, your own, but I wish to offer my services in case of necessity. Any other matter is of less importance than her health, so despite the complicated situation -I am at your beck and call. Anxiously awaiting your response, Richard Grimes.'

It was difficult to swallow, reading through the note -you'd supposed this one had went into his hands, however. Remembering that your Father had his hands on a medicine rather quickly, one he'd had a hard time keeping stock of in the clinic. Had Mr. Grimes sent it?

The other note was a response, thin writing was easily your father's -you recognized along the paperwork scattered everywhere in the house. You could hardly read it, though, written so hastily, only a few words sticking out but you'd gathered it was, in fact, about the shortage.

Even further supported by Mr. Grimes's response detailed at the bottom, 'I will set out as soon as possible for Atlanta for such medicine. There is nothing to repay, I would do anything for her, you must know that by now.'

It was rather rushed, words all crooked and ink bleeding -you'd imagined he'd left as soon as the quill was lifted. For you.

You felt tears burn behind your eyes, sinking into the chair you had been roaming towards -imagining the hesitance of himself at the door. Father accepting the medicine, and the pull of concern he would have had. But he couldn't come inside -you imagined it might've broken his heart to leave. No, it had to.

You'd taken the next one in your hands, it was the next day after the last and upon looking at it, seemed written faster, quicker. Like it was merely his thoughts as he scribbled them out.

'Dr. Greene,' it read -still composed but something about the letters blurred together more, '-I must make it clear that every and any intention I have with Ms. Greene is honorable. I can only imagine the turmoil she may be going through at this very moment, and it truly crushes me that it is my fault. I intended to explain it myself, but she seems to have garnered a meaning herself without my input. If you have any respect for me, I would ask sincerely that you let me explain myself. She is far more important to me than I think anyone has realized, and while I understand your hesitance, the situation does not look favorable. I fear if I cannot explain it now then, she may never know. And I truly don't wish for it to end this way, or for it to end at all. Richard Grimes.'

He didn't wish for it to end, thrummed against your skull, as you pulled out another formal invitation, same details different date. The print had no tells.

You couldn't think on it too long, or you'd never get through them. And you were determined to do so. This time three pieces tumbled out of envelope, two of which were rather familiar.

'Dr. Greene,' the fourth one started, words closer -rushed, and the ink bled, '-I'm not sure if you're even reading these at this point. But I'm at a rather, regretfully, desperate moment. I considered delivering this one myself just so I could be sure you'd at least read it. I'm not sure I could quite handle it if you refused to let me speak to her, however, so I am to send this by courier again. All I've found I can do is hope you believe me in my urgency, and at this current time, I'm not sure you even respect me enough to do so. But I cannot help but try. I will not stop trying. I can't. Please, just let me explain myself. Allow her to choose if she believes my intentions, or if she wants to accept to meeting me. I will respect that decision if it comes to pass, but truly dread if it ever comes. Respectfully, Richard Grimes.'

You recognized the invitation, all formal in it's presentation with the date changed. But it did not come alone. There was a second note to be brandished to a different face -you wondered if it had ever gotten there.

'Ms. Maggie Greene,' it detailed, '-I know it's rather unusual, writing through a sister to get to someone. And I considered addressing this directly to the eldest Ms. Greene, but I'm sure you understand my hesitancy. I'm not sure anything I send her will be seen by her own eyes, by choice, or by the ignorance of not knowing it ever existed. All I ask is simply for you to tell her I wish to speak to her. In any capacity. Or that I'm reaching out at all, I fear that she doesn't know I'm fighting for it. That my plans are set in stone, and that her assumptions, or perhaps the world's, are without a doubt the truth. You know my intentions, you always have, ever since that day near the seamstress shop. And I ask that you honor that and tell your sister I am still fighting, that I have not run away. Please. Sincerely, Richard Grimes.'

You'd reread it, over and over again like it would change a single thing. Like the words would be any different. 'I am still fighting... I have not run away-' bouncing around your skull like the words could change, like they could mean anything but what they meant-

You'd never thought about the idea that maybe he wouldn't decide to reconcile his marriage. That he'd choose you. It didn't seem possible, even now, you still hesitated to believe such a thing.

But it was here, maybe not said directly, but it was there. Underneath each written word, everything he said framed it to be seen. Maybe he hadn't meant to, but the delicate care you felt in each word -it was unmistakable. With every swirl of concern, urgency, anything, you could tell that he'd found himself caring for you. Even just a little.

It hardly felt little but you didn't wish to be too hopeful.

The last envelope felt as if it had its own set of eyes, staring you down -rooting you to your spot. Smoothed into a chair, hair surely a mess and cheeks an aggravated red from the wiping of tears, you felt quite inadequate to win the stare. And a part of you truly wondered if you'd already gone too far.

Perhaps this last letter was a recanting, and detailed that despite all of these, he had given up and wished to pursue life as a married man. For his children, for the betterment of his estate, whatever reason he chose was the most accurate. There was quite a list in favor of it, you'd done it yourself. Tried to rationalize your heartbreak, like maybe it would change how you feel. Make it seem more impossible, so your mind would be tricked into understanding that it was never yours to have.

Your hands moved before you could stop them, as you opened the final envelope -it was thinner than the others. Just a single slip of paper hidden there, not an invitation, you'd guessed. As you pulled it between your fingers, your eyes squeezed shut, instinctually, almost as if you'd said a quick prayer rather than gathered yourself for what it said.

Deep breath in and a slow breath out, you patted at your cheeks with a bit of cloth and began.

'Ms. Greene,' it started, words wonderfully composed and written but still somehow vulnerable, '-I'm not sure you shall ever receive this note. Or any at all. Not because I didn't wish it, but merely because I doubt you'll ever be made aware of its existence. I've been going back to Mr. Elliotts, asking him how you are. He says he hasn't seen you in days. I haven't seen you in days either. My head is a mess as it is, but I find something clears it all when I think about you. I've never been more certain about you. I suppose I'm just afraid I don't know if you are as certain as you once were. I want you to be. I need you to be. I can't properly voice this here, it's much larger than I'm able to quite capture in the written word. Or maybe any words at all. Ms. Greene, I wish to speak to you. It's all I want. I just want a word, and if you slam the door, I will respect it. But even with an idea that they're might be a bad outcome, I have to try. I would hate myself if I didn't try. Please. Yours, Richard Grimes.'

Please, was the word that stuck that time, please.

As you neatly stacked the bits of paper -mindlessly, you found it was all that had played on repeat. All that you could see was desperation, flitted through the stroke of the quill, the bleeding if the ink. It felt as though his heart was there, in that note -extended on an opened palm.

Like it was a simple offering, one you could refuse. Or one you could take, one you could listen to and care for.

It was there under all the notes under all the words, under every dip of ink Richard Grimes had offered his heart up -vulnerable and open and desperate.

And you hadn't known.

You thought back to your final words with the man, before you disappeared off into the rain, heartbroken and unfixable -'you're not mine'.

Stretched across your lips, holding back a sob, it was true. From what you understood then, it was true. You hadn't asked him, sure, but it seemed like the obvious choice. That you were not the one he was fighting for.

But if felt here, in these tiny little letters that you hadn't seen, that he was trying to show you: 'I am yours, all yours.'

Like there was never a doubt to him, and he only sought to prove it. To show you, because you hadn't listened-

But you were late, not of your own accord but you were still far too late. And a part of you wondered if maybe it was too late. Or if there were more, or if he was still trying, still fighting-

You could only hope so.

[catsafalin]

Hi!!!

[strawberrycamel]

hey psst c'mere... no a little closer... a little closer- there we go

Loop lips are part of a racist caricature of Black people. Stop drawing Black characters with loop lips. I don't care how they look in canon, it's racist.

okay that's all you can go

[deus-ex-mona]

i think they’re just fun little coincidences, but the way nghy’s story so far is filled with the experiences of past cec couples is just so cute!!

like the sporty childhood friend romance of kthn

and the initial turned down confession

and “what is love??” crisis (and consequential realisation of feelings) of mochiaka

and the long-distance (for the sake of their dreams) unrequited love of the harucouple

and that’s not even getting into the dynamic parallels between nghy and other couples, which may be kind of a stretch, if i’m being honest so i’m not including them, since their stories all written by the same crew, so there’s bound to be some overlap there

it’s kind of like hw has written a couple made up of their favourite bits from their prior pairs, whether intentionally or not, and i’m all for it tbh~~~ i’m sure there’re still more (perhaps accidental?) callbacks to come, considering how early we are in nghy’s story, so let’s watch their little fairytale unfold together!!

let nghy be the clichéd couple to end all clichéd couples!!!!!!!!

[nevarroes]

with your understandably strained relationship to bg3 as a whole, have you ever considered redesigning/renaming Gortash to make him into your own oc? cutting that last line to it so to speak

I have but I fear I can’t do that while taking myself seriously💔

[sonknuxadow]

idk its weird how a lot of the companies making sonic merch just go "oh we'll do classic sonic stuff for the adults and modern sonic stuff for the kids" when some of the modern sonic games are old enough now for there to be adults who grew up with them or weren't even born yet when they came out. and there's also probably plenty of adults out there who like modern sonic games despite not playing them as a kid for whatever reason. there's not a strict never broken pattern for the age group someone falls into and the sonic media that they like. now please make more modern sonic shirts that fit me thank you

[nyaskitten]

You can tell I'm autistic because I've memorized a good portion of the DRs1 finale already.

[daily-crabbys]

mmg,, i might hiatus again,,,

I'd hate to do it, but there's no joy in crab posts as of right now, and also as of a long while ago.

Managing messages and responding to people in replies and being tagged and all the stuff in inbox is. a lot.

I never intended or expected crab blog to get this big, and it feels like such a chore to do at this point. Not that I dont like it, and not that I dont enjoy the fellow crab lovers, but it's certainly overwhelming.

That plus other socials and such that I manage and real life stuff is just. IDK, it's a lot. Usually, if I get to this point, I just drop off, maybe delete the account if I really can't stand it, but I'm definitely not going to do that here.

At the very least, I'm going to empty out the submissions that have been piling up, but after that, I'm not sure. I may not even get through all of those, I've already been relying on those for a long time at this point, and I think that's pretty obvious.

It feels like a hassle to deal with those anyways since most people don't even identify what type of crab it is that they submit, so I have to take the time to find it, which is usually not at all easy. There are so many posts that I've just had to guess what to tag it as because I just don't know, and there's no solid answer that I can find, at least not usually.

Which is also partially my fault, I've never said anything about it before, and I never specified it at an earlier time to make incoming ones less stressful to deal with, but even so I just. I don't know, I don't.

I don't know exactly when it'll happen, but it's the most likely thing to happen from here. I think I'll modify some stuff about how I handle the daily-crabbys blog to make it easier on me when I come back, but I'm not entirely sure what that'll be. I've never managed a successful daily posting account before, I haven't the slightest clue how to make it all easier on me.

Sorry that this has gotten so long, I didn't mean to rant. There's just so much that I feel like I need to say.

This isn't something coming out of nowhere, and it isn't going to be immediate. I've thought about wanting to do this for a while, and I know I did this already not too long ago, but I didn't really change anything for myself, so I'm just burnt out a lot faster.

Sorry again, both for the length of this and the fact that it's going to happen, but I've just got to make things better for myself before I carry on long term. I really just fucked myself over by not doing this the first time, but if I don't do something about it eventually then I'll just end up hating this blog too much to continue.

🦀💜

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[silentoathprincess]

i love dmmd but i have seen you reblog about other nitro chiral games, how would you rate them? like which game do you like the most and so on, I've only played dmmd and i love it but seeing your posts makes me want to play those too!! love your blog

thank you anon thats so nice!!! ill try to keep this shortish bc otherwise i WILL infodump forever. and ill try not to spoil anything

dmmd is definitely my favorite! it is kind of an outlier compared to the other n+c games tho. it has a lot more comedic moments and the bright cyberpunk aesthetic is pretty different than the usual nitty gritty nitro chiral vibes. if you havent played reconnect you totally should! it adds so much to the characters (msg me if you cant find a copy online) and im forever trying to get my hands on the mizuki recode route lmao

togainu no chi and slow damage are about even for me. slow damage is the most recent one and might have the best story that n+c has ever written. its the only one without any supernatural elements but i think it makes up for it with compelling plot. its VERY dark but i think that makes getting to the end and figuring out all the mystery of the game v exciting. i DO wish the routes felt more...equal? like theres very clearly a true route and its very clearly the best of the bunch lmao. also give me an ikuina route pls hes sooo unwell <3

tnc is the first n+c game and its showing its age a little (i kinda love the early 2000s emo vibes tho). i think the premise for it is really intriguing! theres some killer world building and really fantastic bad ends (if you're into that sort of thing). the character personalities dont quite hit the same levels of intrigue as dmmd for me but theres not a single one i dislike. theres an extra character in the re-release tnc true blood too but ive never been able to get a copy

i'll be so honest, i did not like sweet pool at ALL when i first played it. theres some fantastic fanart out there thats actually swayed me back around to liking it more but like. i didnt know what i was getting into and i definitely should have read a summary first. i thought the thing about youji shitting meat was a running joke. i was not prepared for it to be like baby meat fetuses and cult omegaverse stuff. i like omegaverse but i wish i had been more prepared. its a low tier game for me tbh

i havent finished lamento yet! it took me years to get it working lmaooo im still in the common route. right now i'd probably put it between tnc/slow damage and sweet pool. its definitely better than sweet pool but its not hitting tnc/slow damage levels for me yet. i like the catboys tho catboys catboys catboys

per usual with n+c games id recommend checking out a warnings guide first just to be safe but let me know if you play any of them or which ones you like! i hope this helped!

[ganondoodle]

got visually spoiled on the literally last thing i was still actively missing and working towards in totk but i dont think im gonna like it anyway ...

if it is what i think it is, and what it looks like to be, its just yet another nail in the coffin (or however you say that) as to why the lore sucks in this game even tho it had such good setup and so much potential

[toxooz]

also thinking abt Ponti convincing Vinny to start swearing and Vinny cursing in front of Ollie and Ollie having to Literally beat Ponti's ass again 💭

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[suddenly-stickmin]

ALSOOOO CHANGED MY BLOG THEME! It's got a nifty light-n-dark mode that can be toggled with, a really nice layout that I loooovvee, and I was able to add a custom Rupert cursor as well LETS GOOOOOOO

I also added a little floating image of the sleeping Rupert, Johnny, and Dave drawing on the bottom left corner! Super happy with the blog's new look!

[theriu]

I don’t know but I think it might be significant that most of the myths and tales from history are so often tragic and heartbreaking and hopeless, yet now that Christ has come so many more stories emphasize light and love and hope.