#im not interested in debating. these are just my thoughts on the matter

[flower-zombie-rob]

Vent in tags

[adventuringblind]

Nerospicy has never been so cute

Oscar Piastri x Nerodivergent!reader

Genre: fluff... angst if you squint.

Request: nope but they are open! Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, George, Daniel and Pierre are on the list. Also open for poly fics if anyone is interested.

Summary: just cute fluff between Oscar and his autistic coded partner

Warnings: idk people who can't mind their own business IG

Notes: This is self-indulgent, and I do not care. I just wanna feel supported, okay? T_T

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You weren't sure if you'd ever fit in with people. Something about you always felt different from others.

Maybe it was that you didn't understand their antics. Their jokes weren't funny to you, or you didn't understand them. They seemed you as sensitive, but you're really just incredibly empathic.

You were interested in things that they weren't. You hated certain foods, textures, and feeling in general.

Then somtimes it all became too much. Alone in a dark room with headphones in. Attempting to soothe yourself from the overwhelming feelings running through your mind and body.

Your friends wanted to go out of a Friday night. Previously, you were feeling alright and decided to go with. Instantly regretting your decision as soon as you walked into the door of the club.

It was here that you met Oscar.

He didn't really want to be here. He'd given into the pleas of his friends who didn't want to go without him. He liked people and going out to have fun, but he wasn't in the mood right now.

He noticed you sitting at the bar nursing a drink. You looked like you wouldn't bother him, and the bar was already crowded, so he sat down on the stool next to yours.

You briefly looked over at him. Finding your drink to be more entertaining than the male next to you.

You were getting more overwhelmed by the second. The discreetly hidden earbuds only help so much. The vibration of the bass and the lights combined made you want to puke. You wanted to get out of there, but your body was ever so slowly shutting down.

Oscar noticed how your body was shrinking into itself. He didn't want to stare, but it was obvious you were in distress.

"Are you alright?" Asked the Australian.

You didn't look up at him, and words became too difficult, so you settled for shaking your head no.

Oscar thought about it for a minute. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm not in the mood to party, and you don't seem like you are either." He grimaced at how awkward he felt like he sounded. "I promise I'm not a serial killer or something." He laughed but it was more at himself then anything.

Eager to leave, regardless of who the man was, you stood up and made your way towards the door. You didn't have a tab, just water in your glass to make you feel like you belonged.

Once outside the door, you breathe a sigh of relief. Less people, less vibration, and less light.

You wanted to cry, though. Your body still feeling everything.

"Do you need anything? A ride home even? I probably seem like suck a creep right now." Oscar rubs his temples.

For the first time, you fully examine the male. Shocked to see kind features and gentle eyes. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.

"Thank you." You managed. Not wanting him to feel like a weirdo any longer.

He paused and looked up at you. Wanting to find your eyes but noticing your eyes did not want to find his. "I'm Oscar, by the way." He reached out his hand for you to shake.

Which you did hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."

~

You had explained to Oscar that you didn't live close to here. Over an hour away at best. You'd been exploring the town with friends earlier in the day when they decided to end the night at the club.

He offered you a stay at his apartment for the night and then he could take you home in the morning.

"Actually, can I take you on a date first?" He'd found you intriguing and beautiful, and he didn't want this to be for one night.

You were nervous, to say the least, but when he offered to take you anywhere you wanted to go, the deal seemed appealing. Furthermore, there was a music store you wanted to look at that your friends had passed by. So when he offered, you pointed him in the direction.

"Can I ask you something?" His eyes never left the rode, and you were grateful for it. It helped the conversation flow easier for you.

"Sure." You shrugged.

"Why are you wearing earbuds?"

Oh. You dreaded this. Talking about the way your body and mind work had yet to end well.

Your hesitancy did not do unnoticed, so Oscar quickly followed up with "you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable."

"Well, it's just that- loud noise makes me overwhelmed, and things like headphones help drown it out." You fumbled.

"Oh I use those at work too sometimes cause it can get loud."

He seemed so natural saying it. His calm demeanor helping you to read him a bit better.

He then proceeded to tell you about his job and ask questions about you. He was very clear when he spoke. Eventually helping you to wind down.

This guy you just met was taking you on a date. Was it a good idea to out yourself? Probably not, but if you didn't care for people opinions much. "I'm autistic."

"I was wondering that but didn't want to ask. I had a friend in school that was, and in some ways, you seem similar to him." He hit his head on the steering wheel. "I'm not trying to stereotype. I'm sorry that probably sounded rude."

You laughed at him. His response was one of the best you'd been given. "It's alright, it's actually kind of cool that you picked up on it."

When you arrived it the music store it was ten minutes to close. The records lined the walls, and boxes of CDs were packed to the brim. Not many people use them nowadays, but it felt comfortable in the little store.

You and Oscar browsed the music and talked about the different kinds of music you like. It felt natural. Even when you knew you were info-dumping, he just listened intently and asked questions about your interest.

Soon enough, the shopkeeper asked you both to leave. You waved a thank you and slid back into Oscar's car.

"Thank you for indulging me. I really enjoyed this." You were shocked to hear that come from him. Mainly because you felt like you talked his ear off.

The drive to his apartment was quiet, but not the awkward kind.

He opened the door for you when you arrived. His apartment was comfortable. It's not super empty or overly decorated. It's just comfortable.

"Right, so you can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and take the room, and I'll take the couch." He didn't even give you a chance to protest as he sped off to gether the essentials.

You two didn't do much sleeping that night. Wasting away the time. The clock moving two fast for your liking. You two spent hours conversing and laughing with each other.

Somewhere along the line, Oscar passed out on the couch, and you had made your way to his room like he said to.

You two exchanged numbers when it was finally time for you to leave his car. He promised to stay in contact with you.

A promise he followed through on. It didn't take long til you were following him around to races.

You were mostly watched from the quiet places in the McLaren paddock. Sometimes, it even curled up in Oscar's driver room. He didn't mind, though, making it a small game you played between the two of you.

You and Lando got along nicely as well. Oscar only getting frustrated when it comes to both of you and your eating habits.

You were manageable, but Lando was just ridiculous in his eyes.

You didn't actively say your autistic but definitely explained why you are the way you are. Eventually, people came to their own conclusions. The gossip pages included.

You didn't really understand the criticism at first. People had always misjudged and misunderstood. But when they started nitpicking your every move, it became annoying.

The names didn't bother you. It was them saying Oscar deserved someone who wasn't as weird.

It followed you everywhere. These labels that the media had given you.

You were happy with Oscar. He treated you so well, and you were doing your best to support him. You two created your own small routines that you enjoyed.

You couldn't even walk through the paddock without journalists trying to question you. The physical souch of their bodies and shouting so they could be heard sending your body into overdrive. You liked the environment of racing, but this was over your limit.

You were so glad you texted Oscar you had arrived. Him responding that he was already on his way to you.

He noticed the journalists first, then you at the center of attention. Your hands in your hair and your breathing rapid. You looked like you might scream.

His legs moved faster than his mind as he put himself in between you and anyone else. Very gently, placing a hand on your shoulder to try and guide you away.

You did end up screaming. Your body needing to release all the pent-up emotions you'd been wanting to release earlier. Thankfully, it was somewhere private and muffled by Oscar's jacket.

You didn't want the so close like that. They were too much. They questions they asked were incredibly invasive. Some even going as far as to ask about intimate things.

You managed to explain to Oscar what happened. His listening intently, watching you play with his fingers in the pattern your head had come up with.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for you."

Oscar smiled and simply shook his head. "You aren't making things difficult, and on the contrary, you and your nerodivergent brain have never looked so cute."

"I just got done screaming and trying to self-soothe."

"It doesn't matter. You still look absolutely adorable." He kissed the top of your head, hoping to convey what he was feeling without words.

Am hour later, Oscar had posted to his socials about you. A letter to anyone who wants to form an opinion.

"Leave my girlfriend be. Neither of us likes having our personal lives invaded. You like to assume things but don't have all the facts. I love her very much, and that should be all that matters."

As you read it and looked at Oscar, who was giving you a goofy smile for being proud of what he'd just done. You realized just how much he loved you. Despite your labels, he saw past them and loved you for you.

[sneppu]

Hello! Welcome to The Sneep Zone

You may call me Nagi

Main blog: @nagoo (I'm also on Bluesky! absolutely NO MINORS on the bluesky, no exceptions. nsfw art will be going there.)

u better be able to tell fiction from reality i stg.

first and foremost: fuck jkr. i do not endorse her. i do not agree with her. we dont do that weird shit here.

we do different weird shit instead (bask in the decadence of The Sneep)

This sideblog is for me to post all my Snape art and Snape related ramblings! I am addicted to snape fics, and have found myself needing to make fanart for some of my favorite writers. such things will be posted here!

Severus Snape is my favorite guy!

I am known to refer to him as: Sneep, Snorp, Sneb, The Sneberous Sneb, The Snebulous One, He Who Sneeps In The Dark, SneepSnorp, Mother, Sneppu, El Sneepo, Snorpo, Snib, The Best One, The Only One That Matters, The Community Boyfriend, Babygirl, etc.

rest assured, I am talking about Severus Snape every single time

I ship him with everyone! yes, even [insert character]. I always tag ships so block the tag or w/e if theres one you dont like.

I truly and genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, do not care even a little bit about The Grievances u may have about my ships or my sneeps. I cannot stress enough how much that is not my problem. If you're the type to throw a tantrum over ships and fictional content I'm just gonna block you tbh.

Dark/Fucky content WILL be found on this blog. Snape was practically MADE for that shit and I like to project my traumas onto him so like. ykno. I expect adults with critical thinking on here ONLY.

in my ideal world, everyone would love and cherish Sneep. I tend to focus on marauder's era Snape

not to be rude, but i kind of only care about Snape really. the slytherins are cool and chill too (especially Lucius, Rosier, and Mulciber), but i mostly care about how they interact with and potentially fall in love with The Sneep. the marauders are rat bastards and i ship them with Snape in a "grovel eternally for the scraps of his affection" kind of way. I am not sorry.

dont expect nothing serious from me unless im waxing poetic about Snape or heavily projecting my own Tragic Past onto him tbh, and even then...

i have zero interest in any debates whatsoever. i cannot emphasize this enough, my thoughts are disjointed and nonsensical. The mere thought of having a serious debate about anything is stressful and unpleasant. I mean it as kindly as possible when I say it makes my eyes glaze over.

i am just here to draw Snape and shitpost about my favorite little guy.

i dont care that he's mean.

he shouldve been meaner, actually.

he's better than me and he's probably better than you too, because i wouldve absolutely lost it big boy style.

Art tag: #nagi nyart

Have you ever written a fanfic about Severus Snape? If so, please PLEASE read this post Here

this shouldnt even have to be said but please do not??? take me stuffs and completely re-upload it without credit or permission?? dont do that to anyone, actually? like idk basic courtesy towards artists or w/e. you know better, i know you do.

BUT that said.. using my stuff for your header or profile pic is fine with credit somewhere easily visible, like the profile description, or pinned post!

[captainremmington-13]

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊

show!Luke Castellan x daughter of thanatos!reader

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the image above or any of Rick Riordan’s characters/world-building. I DO own my OC, Julian Arroco.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: swearing, verbal harassment, mentions of insecurities and abandonment, daddy issues, crying

A/N: IM BACK AND OFF MY HIATUS🥳🥳🥳

“Hey! Emo girl!”

You instantly felt your cheeks turn red. He wouldn’t leave you alone.

Instead of giving him the reaction he wanted, you continued walking towards the Big House. You had been summoned there by Chiron (who had sent Luke to convey the message), and didn’t want to be late.  

Though, if Julian Arroco kept hollering at you the way he had since he’d arrived at camp two days prior, you would be very late. It would take a significant amount of time to kill him and find Luke so he could help you hide the body. 

As you approached the large wooden building, you placed your right hand on the hilt of your weapon. If another word escaped his idiotic mouth, you would ensure he ended up in the infirmary. 

Just as your left boot made contact with the first step, you felt a rough, large hand grab your forearm.

“Don’t do this,” you warned, your tone almost disappointed, as if you were scolding a young child.

“Relax,” Julian said with a cocky grin. “Just wanna ask you a couple questions.”

You sneered at him, reveling in the slight fear that appeared in the son of Aphrodite’s eyes.  “Sure you do. Now get lost.”

“I’m not afraid of you, emo girl-“

“I have a name-“

“You don’t scare me at all,” Julian continued, completely ignoring you. “Everyone thinks you’re intimidating, but you really aren’t. I bet you’re all soft and pathetic on the inside, hm? Seems like it doesn’t take much to get under your skin.”

Tugging your arm out of his disgusting grasp, your wings appeared, giving you a larger, more terrifying silhouette. Julian backed away, his muscular, conventionally attractive body cowering before you. 

You gave him a twisted smile. “You’re right, Julian. I am very easily provoked, and having brainless idiots follow me around and harass me all day really gets on my nerves. And I’m sure that you’ve heard the rumors about my “weird, horrifying death powers”. You don’t want to find out if they’re true, do you?” 

“N-No.”

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. Now leave me alone, or I’ll tell Luke to target you during the next round of Capture the Flag.”

“Of course,” Julian scoffed. “You’ll go running for your man to protect you. Just like a girl-“

His lips froze mid-sentence when you raised your hand, the tips of your fingers pointing towards his throat. 

“I don’t know everything you’ve heard about me,” you began slowly. “But if you’re really that interested in my life, let me start with this: yes, I can kill without even laying hands on my opponent. Want a demonstration?“

“Please,” Julian whimpered. “I’m sorry, I swear by the gods that I’ll leave you be.”

You tilted your head. You briefly debated the benefits and consequences of hurting him, and decided that it was worth it.

But before you could act on your decision, you heard the doors of the Big House open behind you. 

“What’s going on here?” Chiron’s tone was apprehensive, yet it lacked any fear. After living for thousands of years, he had seen much more terrifying sights.

“She just started attacking me, sir-“

“That’s bullshit,” you snapped. “You’ve been harassing me ever since you crossed the camp border.” 

“Enough,” Chiron said firmly. “Julian, go back to the dining pavilion where the rest of your siblings are. I have an important matter to discuss with this young lady here, who you should not be treating so disrespectfully.”

Julian gave you a scathing look, but turned on his heel and walked away, his fists clenched at his sides.

Chiron looked down at you, his face softening ever-so slightly.

“Come, my child,” he said ominously, beckoning for you to follow him inside. “We must get this conversation started before you miss too many activities.”

.

.

.

You left the Big House even more angry than you entered it.

Out of all the things you expected the conversation to be about, “trying to blend in better with the other campers” hadn’t even entered your mind.

You’d tried so hard for years to fit in. To become a normal demigod (or as normal as a demigod could be, anyway) and get along well enough with those around you. It became much harder to do so after returning from the quest, but you still put effort into being at least agreeable. And it seemed like most people didn’t mind you, despite your darker demeanor and closed-off nature. 

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Some campers had been genuinely disturbed by you of late. And though it wasn’t your fault in the slightest, you were being forced to change.

It simply wasn’t fair.

And even worse, you held none of the blame. Your father was responsible for it.

But because he was a god, he’d never face the consequences.

With every step you took, the grass and flowers withered and turned grey around your feet. You didn’t care that other people were staring. 

You just wanted to find your boyfriend.

You spotted him sitting on a stone bench with Chris, chatting casually. As soon as he looked up and saw you, his relaxed posture stiffened. He stood up and walked towards you briskly, instantly placing a hand on your shoulder.

“What’s wrong, angel?”

“We need to go somewhere more private,” you hissed. “Or I’m going to scare everyone else.”

Luke’s brow furrowed with confusion, but he didn’t question you. You practically dragged him towards Cabin 11, not even bothering to see who was watching.

Once you’d reached the clearing behind the Hermes cabin, you told Luke everything. How Chiron had stopped you from hurting Julian, and what he’d said once you were in his office. The longer you talked about it, the angrier you got. 

“That makes no fucking sense,” Luke said, bewildered. “You’ve been here basically your entire life, and he’s just now trying to force you to conform because it’s bothering a couple of cowardly half-bloods?” 

You nodded stiffly, trying not to show that it was getting to you. You didn’t want to place that burden on him, not after everything else he’d been through of late.

But the tears sprung to your eyes anyway. 

Luke sighed, pulling you into his arms instantly. 

“Hey, listen to me,” he said. “You haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t need to change, even though someone’s trying to force you to. If people are bothered by your existence, well, that’s their fuckin’ problem.”

“Everyone was fine until we came back from our quest,” you lamented. “Sure, I understand why my abilities may be off-putting, but I’m not trying to hurt anyone by just existing! Why don’t they understand that?” 

“Because they’re idiots,” Luke answered. “They judge you before they get familiar with you, which is unfair. But those who do know you well love you.” 

You sniffled, clinging to him like a vice. “But if I don’t change, people are going to keep complaining Chiron, and-“

“Don’t pay any attention to them. It’s not worth it,” he said firmly. 

With a sigh, you nodded slightly. “I know, I know…I just get so angry when people bother me for no apparent reason. It makes me want to leave this place, even though I know the outside world is so much more dangerous.”

Luke went silent for a moment. 

“Maybe one day, we’ll find a life for ourselves far away from here,” he began, running his fingers through your hair soothingly. “Forget about who our parents are, and spend the rest of our days living like mortals.”

“We’d be hunted constantly,” you pointed out bitterly. “I attract too many monsters. We’d never live a peaceful, domestic life.”

“Let’s not focus on the hypotheticals then,” Luke said. “Let’s focus on what we can do to help you right now. Don’t listen to anything that Chiron said, okay? He thinks that trying to be more like the others will make you happier, but he doesn’t know you like I do. Forcing yourself to be someone else will only make you feel more miserable. And remember, you have good friends who love you for the way you are, like Annabeth and Chris. And, of course, you have me.”

You gave him a small smile. “Okay.” 

Luke took your hand. “Good. Now, let’s go get something to eat.“

With that, you and Luke walked to the dining pavilion hand-in-hand. You were still slightly upset, but for now, you were going to try to let it go. 

Howrver, you couldn’t help but start to plot revenge against Julian Arroco. 

Little did you know that both of you had revenge running across your minds. 

________________________________________________

Wringing out your hair with a towel, you internally lamented about the humidity in the air. The gods were able to manipulate the weather within the camp borders in order to maintain the ideal temperature, but it never felt quite right to you. Perhaps it was because your body temperature was unusually low. You’d always assumed it was an inherited trait from your father.

And you never wanted to meet him, so you were content with never confirming it.

Carefully folding up your towel, you slid on your  sandals and exited the bathroom. You had always hated sharing showers with the other campers. It felt like a huge intrusion on your privacy, and the water was often lukewarm, leading to a less-than-enjoyable experience.

The outside world may invite monsters to kill you at every waking moment, but at least it had decent showers.

Ever since Luke had planted the idea of leaving camp for good in your head earlier, it had been the sole focus of your thoughts. What would life be like with him outside of Camp Half-Blood? Would you be able to find some resemblance of a normal life and escape the stigma that surrounded you? Or would you endure different kinds of prejudice, and never truly feel safe in public? 

You knew it was useless thinking about it so profoundly. Realistically, you knew wouldn’t be leaving camp any time soon.

But that did nothing to stop you from fantasizing. 

.

.

.

Luke fell almost instantly that night, ready for a full night of rest. 

But while Luke slumbered soundly, his head resting on your chest, you were wide awake. 

Though your body was exhausted, your mind wouldn’t stop racing. You’d never been so tempted to pack up your things and leave camp forever. But you wouldn’t ever just abandon Luke like that. After being abandoned and neglected by his father, you knew that it would destroy him.

The only solution would be for him to come with you.

And you weren’t sure that he would want to. He wouldn’t want to leave behind his siblings, or Annabeth. Nor would he enjoy being homeless again, like he was for five years of his childhood. 

So you would stay at camp. For Luke. Because you couldn’t imagine life without him. 

Closing your eyes, you let out a heavy sigh. Worrying about this was futile. You needed rest, desperately. 

You allowed your muscles to relax, and your limbs suddenly felt like lead.

You were teetering on the edge of sleep when Luke jolted violently in your arms, and sat up abruptly. 

His eyes were frantic, and they were brimming with frightened tears. When his pupils met yours, you knew that something was incredibly wrong.

“Hey,” you whispered soothingly. “I’m here, Luke. It was just a dream, you’re okay.” 

Luke shook his head vehemently. 

“I-It wasn’t. Someone…Someone spoke to me.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Was it your father bothering you again? I swear, I’ll march up to Olympus and tell him to-“

“It wasn’t him,” Luke cut you off. His breath was shaky, so you took his hand in an attempt to calm him.

“Who was it then? Zeus? Hades? The Fates?”

He shook his head again.

“Please,” you begged. “Please tell me. I can’t help you if you hide it from me.”

There was a heart-wrenching pause. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Luke spoke.

“It was Kronos, King of the Titans.”

taglist: @orionspaperwork, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @marvelescvpe, @lovingjasontoddmakemewanttocry, @louweasleymalfoy, @stars4birdie, @stargurl-battleship, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @have-a-nice-day-k, @felinows, @i-am-me-and-you

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments!!!

I have been INCREDIBLY busy recently, but my life is finally getting back to normal. I’m going to start posting more frequently, but I may update a little slower than I used to :))

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[anti-terf-posts]

actually speaking of what are your thoughts on the whole man vs. bear debate (where women were asked if they'd rather be with a man or a bear in the woods... many women (and some men too!) picked the bear) at first it seemed like genuine discussion but then it started going south real quickly- from misogynists getting pissy over the women's choices to terfs invading the convo... not to mention the exclusion of queer folks in the discussion. but im interested in your thoughts!

I actually said somewhere online that I would choose the bear over the man any day, because as long as you give the bear space and don't try to elicit a reaction from/threaten it, it won't attack you, where as the man will hunt you down and attack you no matter what. of course, a bunch of cis men replied saying that "the bear must be so annoyed by now" "studies show that most men won't attack you if you two are by yourselves in a room" and of course "not all men!!!!!!!!;;;!!!1!". one of them even told me that I wouldn't get raped because I'm unattractive, which is fucked up on so many levels (after I pointed out that literal children get raped, so no, rape has nothing to do with attraction, he tried to explain that some children are attractive/some men find children attractive). I also had the same guy tell me that the whole thing is "sexist" (against men), because it's just demonizing men and making them out to seem like dangerous predators. which like, yeah. lots of them are. sure, not all of them are, but a good enough chunk of them are to make women and afab people wary of all men. Anyways, with that being said, after those interactions, my point has been further made that the bear is safer than the man.

My opinions on the thought experiment itself? I think it's very interesting, and honestly I'm glad that so many women and afab people are bringing to light how they feel about their own safety, and how men and rape culture tie into that.

so yeah, I choose bear 🤷‍♂️

[stars-mischief]

hey

what does it feel like, knowing you're neurodivergent? i keep looking into different habits i have and it's something i think about a lot, but i always just feel more broken the more i look

so what is it like? and how do you know for sure?

;; angst beneath the cut

[ he goes silent for a moment, debating how to best approach this scenario ]

...

[ he looks up at the anon and speaks ]

well, it's different for everyone, i suppose.

for me, especially in the early stages of my life, it was really isolating.

as a child, i never really "fit in" with the people around me. i mean, void, i didn't have many friends until i was 18 years old.

though most have grown distant.. since i moved to the valley..

i couldn't understand why i didn't fit in. moreover, other people seemed to notice things about me and were very abrasive.

they.. they didn't like how i was different, i suppose.

i felt different, too.

no matter how hard i tried, no matter how much i wanted them to like me, they.. they never did.

oftentimes i'd watch someone else say something and i'd notice how their jokes always seemed to land. so, i'd try to strike up a conversation. only to be met with strange looks and sideways glances, as if i somehow said the wrong thing without realizing it.

it.. it was really disheartening.

there were times in my life when i found myself thinking: "why am i not like anyone else? why don't i fit in?" and, eventually, i convinced myself that there must be something wrong with me..

so, i decided that i would "fix it".

i carefully watched other people's behaviors and mimicked them as if they were my own, all because i thought that if i was more like them and less like.. me.. that they'd actually want to be my friend.

i found myself following the trends just so i could have the slightest thing in common with them, even though it didn't make me happy or i didn't enjoy the trends that much..

eventually, i began to morph into a dull, "normal" version of myself. or, that's what i was telling myself, anyway. in truth, there are points in my life where i look back and.. i don't recognize the man i see.

but it didn't matter. i convinced myself that, if people didn't like me for being different, then i wouldn't be different ever again. i would like what they liked, i would crush any undesirable behavior, i would become normal, even if it caused me to lose myself.

...and, it did. for a long time.

it didn't help that, while i was going through this, another crisis occurred (transgenderism beam). i never felt more confused in my life. and, no matter where i looked, no one seemed to be able to relate to my experiences. i felt completely and totally alone.

i hate that feeling.

...

so, a few years pass and im still masking almost constantly.

its exhausting, to say the least. but i kept it up.

i have never truly found a place where i felt like i belonged. i was always the "weird" kid, i was always "different", i was always "too much". but, i wanted to find that place so, so badly..

so i forced myself to hide any interest that was deemed "weird" by other people, i forced myself to hide how happy and passionate these interests made me. all because i wanted people to like me.

and, they did, i suppose.. i had what i always wanted; people liked me and didn't think of me as weird or a freak.. so why wasn't i happy?

i could never figure that part out and i was too exhausted from the constant masking to try.

...

anyway, i manage to make a few friends during this period of time (mainly by sticking to their interests and only mentioning things i knew they liked)..

and, i began developing an interest that was different from theirs.

it was something that i was super passionate about and it brought me immense happiness every time it was mentioned.. plus, my brain was craving some dopamine. all those years of wearing the exhaustive mask were.. well, talking a toll.

i didn't think much about it at the time and began happily rambling about this new interest.. but, this person, whom i considered a really good friend, absolutely hated it. and they hated me, too, i would later realize.

i guess i got a little too carried away while talking and, without realizing, the mask slipped away. i was just so excited - i had to share this interest with one of my favorite people, you know?

but.. it didn't exactly end up that way, huh.

this person.. ah.. they blatantly insulted one of my passions and then proceeded to call me annoying (among other things) for talking about it, or even enjoying it.

i took it to heart, i suppose..

void, it even still affects me - nearly five years later.

i.. that interaction.. it made me feel incredibly self conscious.

now, whenever i find something i'm passionate about, i tend to enjoy it silently.. by myself.

i feel that, whenever i say more than three words about something that interests me.. whoever i'm talking to will be put off. that they'll find it annoying and tell me to shut up. and i'll be nothing more than i was all those years ago: a scared little kid, all alone, dealing with this confusing world.

i never want to feel like that again.

i don't want anyone else to feel like that, either.. which is why i make a conscious effort to remember everyone's favorite things and ask them about their interests..

it's absolutely awful having someone you care about be so rude and dismissive about something you enjoy...

...

but, to answer your question, i don't think there is a defined way to "know for sure" - at least one that i've found..

you know, it's crazy, but people who aren't neurodivergent seem to have a "second sense" for finding those who are and, subsequently, they choose to be complete and utter assholes.

just because someone is "different".

but you don't deserve that, no one deserves that.

despite what everyone may think, being neurodivergent is not a bad thing.

it's amazing. it allows you to understand things differently than traditional methods, it allows you to enter periods of hyperfocus and do things that (typically) take a week in one afternoon.

you are not broken. you will never be broken - not to me, anyway.

you are amazing and perfectly capable and so, so worthy of love and should be able to express yourself without feeling like you're doing something wrong.

oftentimes, being neurodivergent can feel like, no matter how hard you try, the world seems to reject you and your efforts. it wants to squish you down and remove the individuality out of you. it wants you to become what they see as "normal".

please, from the bottom of my heart, don't give in. don't let them make you into what they want to see or what you think will please them..

it's so, so exhausting and it takes years to remove that mask and unlearn the behaviors. sometimes you can't unlearn them, though.. and they haunt your mind and fill it with self doubt.

yeah, it's scary.. and isolating.. and overwhelming sometimes.. but when you're in your element? when you're surrounded by supportive and like minded people? when you find the place you truly belong? it's amazing.

um.. anyway..

...

i hope this was insightful.. but, like i said, everyone's experiences are different.

[not-too-many-eyes]

5, 8, 13?

(For this ask game)

5. A female villain you love?

This question is strangely hard cause I have to debate with myself if morally complicated conservative women count or not, because a lot of the complicated women I like AREN'T placed in an explicitly adversarial position to "the heroes" (nor do the things I like tend to create that explicitly dichotomy of "hero" and "villain") and I still haven't been able to determine the answer to that-

But like- Plutomon Digimon Survive is a villain no matter how you slice it so uh- her. I can't say too much on her for Spoiler Reasons but Plutomon Digimon Survive is a Character of All Time can I get an Amen!

(I Mean I'd Love to put a character like Natushi here but I'm really hung up on the definitions here as you might notice.)

8. A minor female character you love anyway?

I was going to jokingly say that none of the things I like have women as Just minor characters but then I was thinking about it and I was like "Wait.....what media do I like (That I think about often) that has women in minor roles?" so I settled on Reverse 1999 Eagle since she is a minor character in story and has Very Little Going On outside of her ancedote focus:

I bet anon was asking for a character with actual like- 2 minutes of screentime but the truth is I simply just don't think too much about characters like that in general. If I do I tend to turn them into OCs since like...at some point they do just become my OC and I''m not going to be like "Oh this is the actual canon version of the character" when I've just written them as OCs. Plus my memory is shit so I really do need something to latch onto.

Keiko RGU might count though?

I find her really fun and interesting in the Black Rose arc since she's coming right after the most emotionally involved of the Black Rose Duelists (Wakaba) so you have a really nice duality there of Wakaba being Utena's best friend while Utena doesn't even know Keiko's name.

Oh and Rei!

She's great as well! I love whatever horrific situationship she had with Muu and how Muu thinks of her as like- a beautiful hero and puts her on a pedestal while simultaneously hating her for "not saving her." Okay maybe I do have more options for this than I thought-

13. An interesting femslash ship? (Canon or otherwise)

I was going to put a Yuri is my Job ship here and then I realized that I don't....consider any of those "romantic" ships like- to me Sumika and Kanako is a QPR, same with Yano and Hime- like those are complicated and nuanced relationships and I love them but Sumika and Kanako are textually Not Romance.

While for Yano and Hime it seems like Hime doesn't feel romantic attraction but a genuine sensual and sexual attraction towards Yano like- aro but not ace. Does that count for the purposes of this discussion?

The definition rests unclear, and I generally just ship situationships forever, but I do have one that isn't horrifically complicated- which is my friend keeps on telling me that apparently Eva and Natushi from Umineko have toxic yuri going on and Im like-

THESE TWO???

THESE TWO HAVE TOXIC YURI?????? THEIR IN LOVE???? THEY DONT JUST HATE EACH OTHER????

So now I need to know what's going on there. I want to know whatever the fuck is going on there. I'm still in Episode 2 and I'm like "Okay. What is their deal"

Alien Nine Yuri and Kumi are also good:

Same with BiY Touko and Yuu (I have not finished this either):

(EDIT) I went to edit this again not just for formatting reasons but because I needed to include my beloved We Know the Devil and Heaven Will be Mine Polycules:

And we also have!

Utenanthy! (I made this a month or so ago and dont want to fix it up at all)

Redraw of this:

[star-on-a-beach]

Okay um. I really don't like doing this, like, ever

But

Tw for vent post, Bc idk, maybe it'll help if I talk about this where it'll be seen and not on a vent blog where I know no one sees it

So it's pretty obvious that pretty much everything right now is in kind of a shit state and I'm really at the end of my line trying to be optimistic about it. Presidential election, rp, guard, college, art, writing, all of this shit, even stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, makes me want to fucking shatter a rock because I don't want to do anything anymore other than scroll through social media on my phone which, I've probably developed an addiction, and of course that makes me feel even fucking worse bc I told myself I'd never get addicted and look at where I am now

So many things I'm unhappy with are really kind of tying back to me and I'm so angry at everything but especially myself now, but theres nothing I feel like I can do about it but try and break it all down I guess?

There's shit going on with color guard and, other than the friends I've made within it and the actual performances, I don't fucking enjoy it anymore because our coach is apparently super fucking shitty and a liar and unfair and argumentative and never sticks with the drill she writes and doesn't give us the resources to put it together correctly, WHEHN SHES LITERALLY OUR COACH AND THATS HER JOB, IVE TRIED SO HARD TO STAY KIND TO HER BUT WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME TALKING SHIT AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BAD PERSON SHE IS IM STARTING TO DO IT TOO AND I HATE IT

And then obviously there's the actual schoolwork that needs to get done, I thought I had not one, not two, but 3 FUCKING ESSAYS DUE ON THE 11TH, WHICH WERE ASSIGNED TO US ON WEDNESDAY, AND EACH HAD TO BE 700 WORDS LONG. Granted it doesn't actually have to be like that but teachers are talking about finals now and I'm going to have SO many essays for that and I have a whole debate too. I'm tired and sick of waking up at ridiculously different times for classes and not being able to have a goddamn nap bc I'm either working, procrastinating with the screens addiction again, or I don't have enough time because god knows I can't take power naps for SHIT, and I'm not fucking paying for coffee in this economy

I can't even relax how I normally want to because I'm so tired from everything, too. Writing big things for TAOCC or drawing feels like a chore, and then I feel obligated to draw others characters or I want to actually do so but I have no energy for it, and I can't get my art to look how I want it to perspective-wise, no matter how many tutorials I look at, and it never ends up the way I want and I haven't even finished TAOCCTOBER or Memoryquest, both of which I feel shitty for, because then they're both more things that I'm giving up on, and I give up on so much shit so easily unless I'm being pushed over and over and over and over, although rn I really wanna just say to hell with it and kill both of them entirely

And with taocc as a whole, I don't even know where to begin. I mentioned in my earlier post that I'm struggling to be assertive and actually say what I want with RP, which results in me feeling really unsatisfied with it a lot. I feel like people aren't interested in my characters and I need to be the one trying to build the characters' connections by asking questions, which. I love when other characters ask mine questions, because so much would be revealed if PEOPLE JUST ASKED. I know you guys don't mean it in this way but I feel like I'm trying to push all of this out, but I barely get anything back except for maybe one question or comment or smth, but it feels like the characters aren't interested in my characters' pasts, and that means the mods aren't either. Which, is really no fault of yours, whether you are or not, it's my fault because I can't bring myself to get off my high horse and actually say "hey, are you willing to have your characters ask about mine?" because I have the firm mentality of "if they wanted to, they would", and I'm trying to make other characters feel important while also craving mine to feel important, but the moment they do, I wonder if I'm taking the main-character roles too much and I need to even it out so I immediately divert the attention back to yours and feel shitty about it. Once again, this is no one's fault but mine, and this is partially why my relationship with my last rp partner, aka my ex bsf, ended, because I wasn't assertive enough and kept wondering if I was hogging the spotlight any time focus did switch to my characters which just isn't enjoyable for anyone. So I'm angry and terrified that these patterns which are repeating are going to lead to a similar outcome.

It isn't even just that though, I just really hate how I write as a whole rn. I used to be so poetic and good with words but now they read difficult unless I'm writing a great wall of text, and my characters aren't acting the way I want to, partially because I'm trying to morph them to get along more with other characters and diminish their flaws so they're liked by others, but it just takes away from who they were originally and I hate that as well. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the rp but for fucks sake I expect myself to be a better writer than this.... and I haven't even gotten around to fixing the fucked-up-with-a-side-of-cheddar timelines, which have been NAGGING at my mind for FUCK KNOWS HOW LONG, but once again, I don't even want to do anything anymore and I get mad bc the only things I wanna do are just self indulgent shit and like hell I'm asking for that from anyone (see, that's part of the problem, right there.)

I think the only thing I hate more than not being assertive with rp is the fact that I'm an adult among you all. Yes, being 18 now while the majority of you are minors is a massive fucking deal to me, and I'm realizing why exactly adults generally avoid friendships like this, because I'm constantly worried about being a good example to you all. I have to have the good advice, I have to be available, I have to be good with assertiveness and boundaries, hell part of the reason I try and avoid venting so much is because you all do not fucking need to have that burden. Every time I do something like this post I immediately think "these are kids and I'm an adult, it's kids trying to help an adult who should not be saying this stuff or laying this burden on them", as if I'm some kind of weirdo. I really try my damndest to not be one of those adults who dumps all their problems on adolescents in order to feel better about their own shitty life, I don't want to be the adult who their younger friends are comforting all the time and have that burden on them (yes, I am completely aware this post contradicts that, and yes, I am very ashamed but I feel Im at rock bottom and you guys deserve to know (but don't deserve the burden of it)). I don't feel like the example I want to be to you guys, I'm incredibly dense, and half the time, I feel like an oblivious idiot for the simplest fucking things in rp even when no one says anything that implies any of you guys think that. I get so annoyed as well, and that's another part I especially hate, it's that I get annoyed with the smallest things so damn easily, whether it's someone saying something random in call and breaking silence, or someone talking about a subject after we've moved on, or a rant that's gone on for a really long time. All of those are ridiculous things to be annoyed by, and I'm completely aware of that. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. It might also be the weather, but I'm so, so, so annoyed by so many tiny, insignificant things nowadays that it's ridiculous, and I've snapped on call a few times which I feel horrible about. I'm trying so hard to be a good, strong role model for all of you, because that's what you deserve and I want to be like that for you. But, both here and in real life, my own idiocy and density and emotions make me feel like I'm never going to escape being a dense, emotional, spacy child who keeps trying to catch up. And as an adult, I'm really, really, really upset that I feel like this because once again, you guys are the minors, not me. I'm not saying you guys should feel like that (I really hope not, no one should feel like that), but it feels even worse since I'm trying to be the adult for you guys to look up to, but I'm looking up to all of you instead. And then, even worse, I get jealous. Not of the bad shit you guys go through, but like. Insignificant things. Art styles, friends, activities, actually having your family around. I really hate myself for being jealous of that and always comparing and trying to match it since it's completely hypocritical of me otherwise.

I'm closing up this vent, but tw for some darker themes in the next paragraph

I'm really just kind of sick of life as a whole. I'm done being an adult, to hell with this, just let me be the younger friend again so I don't have to see myself as an old baby. I'm tired of all of this and the dark jokes I make, they're horrible, but they're becoming more common and I think about the content of them a lot. I'm so tired of this shit and feeling like this and I'm mad and ashamed that I'm making this post because of everything I said above. I'm so done with everything. To hell with this country, to hell with my future, to hell with drawing and writing and trying to put stuff out. At the time of writing this I'm crying, because I'm really really missing my dad. I want to hug him and be with him. I want my family overall to be okay. I want to feel happy and content with myself and my life like back in summer. I'm so sorry for having to say all this but it's the truth and, again, this is my last resort for trying to feel better because hell knows I don't have the initiative to make an appointment and talk to a therapist on campus. Ik this will go away later but ffs i don't know if I can wait until later.

Ok, heavy vent part is over

I've said a lot so I'm ending it here. If you choose to ignore this, that's fine. I'd appreciate some kind of acknowlegement, tbh, whether it's a like or a comment or something, or just a kind word (whatever you do, please don't just put *hug* and leave it at that, hugs dont really feel like they have much more meaning at this point). It feels ridiculous to ask you for comfort especially after kinda dumping all of this here for you guys to see but I might as well try ig. Idk, I'm gonna just try and not delete this out of shame.

I hope you all know that I love you guys so, so, so, so much. This community has brought me so much joy and leaving is the last thing I'd ever dream of unless I had to. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this too much. Logically Ik you probably don't but, really, none of what I just vented about is based in logic regardless.

Thank you for reading, whether it was skimming or fully reading it. Kind words are appreciated but obviously not forced and I love you guys so much. Goodnight ❤️

[suffarustuffaru]

my thoughts on every interpretation you could have of ottosuba (+ rated out of 10)

hello recently i did this poll and i said id give my thoughts on it (also bc mutuals encouraged me to do so) so here goes!! gonna cover multiple avenues of platonic or romantic or (it's complicated) ottosuba <3

1. brothers

not a personal fav of mine but i really dig it though i get the appeal :3 bc like ottosuba are Clearly garfiel's older brothers (stated explicitly in rezero canon) but also i just really dig emilia camp's found familyisms and the three idiots are one of my favorite trios in rezero ever!! so the natural conclusion is to round out the trio and make ottosuba found family brothers also which is while not an interpretation i turn to right away i think its really really sweet!! and also platonic obsession ottosuba is a real win bc neither of them are normal about any relationship ever. but especially with each other (from otto's end). a solid 7/10.

2. purely platonic bffs

this is like their official canon relationship right? and also they define their relationship as them being friends and its great!!! also most subarus - otto if subaru is a tiiiinyy tiny bit debatable - but subaru generally we know for sure doesnt like otto romantically while ottos is just hes Down Bad but what Flavor of down bad? but anyway - i love deep friendships!! i love ottosubas own flavor of freak4freak..... platonic obsession........... <333 </333 their friendship is important to me!! its the basis of their whole dynamic!! they love each other so much!! 9/10.

3. queerplatonic

queerplatonic is like. theyre platonic mixed in with the expectations youd have for traditional romantic relationships - the nature of the qpr varies on the people within them of course and i think itd be a super interesting avenue to take ottosuba down. bc i think like in general as they are now in main route especially theyd want to stick with each other for life. they are platonically married to Me. ottoemisuba are a trio too and ottos their biggest supporter (to sometimes concerning degrees but the emilia camp found familyisms matter to Me). i definitely think otto if ottosuba veers into this category or in future categories on this list and im super fond of this take because i am of the personal opinion that ottosuba are like. found family but in a queer way, as @saphiim said in her tags on the reblog of the poll HAH. so queerplatonic ottosuba is fun to me i really enjoy it. and i definitely think otto if could fit under this category (or other categories later in the list). 9/10.

4. schrödinger’s relationship (platonic or romantic???? they dont know/elaborate)

so like. again, ottosubas friendship is super important to me and the basis for the love in their dynamic. it's how they define themselves too. and so schrodinger's relationship is like - they call each other friends they Are friends but theres not more definition other than that that they explicitly say. or - they may not even 100% know what their feelings on each other is, like they might be like oh hes my friend - and then, as it happens irl sometimes, have like a sort of situationship where they arent sure if theyre feelings on each other past that is fully platonic or romantic or what have you.

i think it's a really relatable take that id love to see more in fiction but also in ottosuba - its the default that i try to go to when i write them in a lot of my ottosuba fics where they just dont fully define their relationship past being Close Friends or theres like a loooot of confusion once they go to the core of their relationship. and i think arguably... Debatably... schrodingers relationship IS how otto's end of ottosuba goes. and arguably otto if ottosuba and stuff like gluttony if ottosuba does have the schrodingers relationship going a bit. i think with the schrodingers relationship take though subarus more firmly in the We're Friends end (but with subarus brand of unhinged codependency of course), though i dont think subaru would really dwell on it either or itd get Complicated for him too, but otto's like more confused from the get go. do i love subaru platonically or romantically? what counts as romantic? i know subaru is My Friend. but idk much else other than that. like i just Really Really Like Him and would do Anything for him. im just not gonna touch it other than him being my friend that i would do anything ever for and would like to spend the rest of my life with.

but subarus got a lot to deal with (and is prettyyy attracted to emijuli) and also otto "i could never date a woman she wouldnt be my first priority" suwen and otto "i have avoidant attachment lol" suwen who knows emisuba especially has a thing (and is an emisuba stan) wouldnt really try anything. dude just would never voice much of his feelings on subaru other than "you're my friend" and "i'm glad to have you back", partly bc otto wouldnt know much about his feelings other than that, partly bc otto would have a crisis about it if he touched it for too long and he already has a crisis about subaru’s hero complex. anyway 10/10 this is my favorite ottosuba take HAH. i like the tension of a fictional relationship being in stasis like this and i like how much you can read into it!! this feels to me like the canon basis for ottosuba as well that acknowledges all sides of it!! (their friendship, the unknown queer tension…)

5. it’s complicated (romantic)

this one is you know the one a lot of shippy ottosuba fancontent goes with - the straightforward but not straight romance. it's also the one that gets like brought up a few times in otto qnas - people asking if ottos subarus wife (the answer was no), people asking if ottos gay for subaru (the answer was not really, which is.... a little sus LMFAO). there's also a few other details that you could easily interpret as romantic in nature or at the very least Kinda Queer (otto clearly getting Some Kind of Crush on Subaru in arc 4, otto repeatedly bringing up subaru in his narration in his dialogue in his diary etc etc, the canon "otto is my side toy" arc 4 wn line, the canon "otto are you gay for roswaal lol dont come for me" arc 4 wn line, otto transphobia feeling a Bit too personal, remsuba parallels, otto if.. also those Two Times otto reaaaally sounded like he moaned subarus name in his sleep, etc).

i have written ottosuba romance before and gone a little into how sexual attraction might look there (also my otto bdsm posts exist...), though i do think that as an asexual person im gonna end up being asexual about my ottosuba writing too LMFAO. but also i personally enjoy a bit of asexuality a bit of aromanticism in my ottosuba because thats what i hc from otto for Reasons. but i do enjoy ottosuba romance a lot either way. i think in main route its definitely one sided and in otto if it is. Debatable. and gluttony if is very interestingly ottosuba-centric the Entire way through. like otto if’s subaru dreaming about otto naked and inviting subaru to bathe with him + repeated use of "partners" for ottosuba + remsuba parallels is Super Intriguing. also the. uhhhh boytoy stuff in main route is really really funny. but also the angst in possible otto’s never voiced unrequited crush on subaru is really interesting to me (also bc ottos just. Obsessed. with subaru.) but also the bittersweetness of it bc he does want emisuba to be happy and would 1000% be best man at their wedding. 8/10.

6. it’s complicated (romantic but Asexual)

this is what i default to when writing ottosuba romance even if its not super explicit in my own fics HAH. in my. ottosuba smut fic..... i was going with the intention of otto having a (demi)sexual awakening T^TT with a bit of demiromanticism T^T and otto asexuality + aromanticism is something i go into in a few other fic wips of mine though at the time of this post they are not done yet. i do hc otto as either demisexual - or simultaneously on three A spectrums at once HAH (aromanticism, asexuality, autism, the later of which Is canon), so that does kinda translate whenever i write him anyway even if ive never said it explicitly. anyway i like this take. im fond of it. 9/10.

7. it's complicated (Aromantic + Asexual)

NOW THIS IS DELICIOUSSS i do think theres something queer going on with ottosuba - otto's end of it specifically - but MANN aroace otto hits on a different level for me. i really really love exploration of aro and or ace relationships like this in media esp as an ace person - idk if im aro but i really really like aro stories and the exploration of aroace otto. firstly bc i think its funny that he has the aroace color palette in his design but secondly bc i think otto AT LEAST being asexual makes sense to me.

i think schrodinger's relationship would have to be like. the basis of all the romance tinged ottosuba takes in different ways. its the basis of platonic friends ottosuba too probably but its Gotta be the basis of (a)romantic ottosuba. queer relationships queer love is tough and i think for subaru it comes in more with like the guys hes Really attracted to - vincent, reinhard, julius, and of course subaru has his subaru typical issues but for subaru, otto's his best friend. otto is "simpler" for subaru to deal with. otto is dependable. (this of course will bite subaru in the ass later on in main route.) for otto i think though he has like. his autism comes into this, his slight attachment issues too, and then theres ottos shame (see: otto transphobia), but also genuinely i think otto needs to be close to people to develop any sort of romantic or sexual feelings if At All.

ottos main crush is like. a cat. that he was friends with as a child. and theres kind of not much mention of any other crushes except for like one (1) blink and you miss it human girl. which you could interpret in different ways probably (kid otto genuinely having a crush on the cat and the girl vs picking one of his friends or someone he just admired from afar and going “this must be a crush! normal people have crushes!”). tappei in qnas says spring (romance) wont come for otto which you can interpret in a number of ways (otto is gay for subaru? otto aromanticism? etc etc). and then theres otto saying he cant date someone bc she wouldnt be his first priority (a woman, bc otto has got that societal cisheteronormativity going on and that paired with his neurodivergence and anxiety is him trying very hard to be "normal"). of course you can chalk some of this up to otto's kinda self imposed slight-isolation too but genuinely otto to me reads like someone who feels like he needs to get married to a woman and have kids bc thats whats expected of him to do. thats the "right" thing to do. and he's not Supposed to dress up as a woman or like dressing up as a woman or approve of subaru doing that bc thats the "wrong" thing to do.

and otto of course going "im too busy rn for a relationship i got other shit to do" can be his slight avoidant attachment stuff too or him prioritizing subaru/emilia camp (and also otto genuinely prioritizing his career)... but yeah he does read to me like someone who isnt. Completely. Allosexual or Alloromantic. it's even easier for him to go "nah im not getting too close to people i dont want a romantic relationship rn" bc of that, i feel.

well also like i think the entanglement of ottos autism, aromanticism, asexuality, avoidant attachment and other struggles in his relationships in general is a really fascinating combo and it feels REAL. this is the kind of aroace rep i want in my life. its so complicated and nuanced and i Really Really Dig It.

also tappei says otto canonically has a type in woman and ironically all of those traits are traits subaru has HAH. so like. regardless of whats going on with ottos side of ottosuba i think its Really Complicated. i think that subaru is pretty oblivious to a lot of it. also bc otto would rather subaru not know about any of the details there. and also bc otto doesnt 100% Know what the hell hes feeling about subaru other than the fact that subarus his friend that he really loves. and again if otto looked at it too closely he’d start an alcoholism speedrun any %.

anyway. i really adore aroace otto. i think i mentioned in a past post that i like demisexual biromantic otto too i just never went into depth about my ace and/or aro hcs until now. but yes i really adore aroace ottosuba - even in otto if, otto is enthusiastic about shipping emisuba together LJDLFJDF which is both hilarious and really sweet and you could interpret it in different ways. you could interpret ottosuba in a lot of ways and aroace ottosuba in a lot of ways which makes it super fun for me!!!! a very solid 10/10.

[compacflt]

hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.

yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel

like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.

but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.

the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.

I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?

the simple first draft:

then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:

about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):

(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)

obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?

[stonerskinny]

why does alcohol have so many cals 😭

weighed at 277 just now, it really is crazy what a single 💩 and a nap will do for you LMAO

now do i want to risk ruining that w alc and possible binging or do i just go back 2 sleep and be good

i’m 22hrs into this fast meaning if i skip going out and having fun i can take my sleep meds and probably get to 36hrs easy but i can also see the scenario where they just don’t kick in and i end up binging anyway plus i just was aiming for 18hrs

ugh why are there so many ways this could go

the switch is flipping actively, i think. who knew i just needed to get out of the cycle for a night.

i feel like i have something to prove. which i hesitate to admit, but it’s true. apparently when all your friends are restricters and your entire ed is just you failing at restricting, theres some interesting shame stuff that comes up LOL sometimes i just feel like a lazy gross piece of shit compared to everyone in my life because i am like this unhinged fucking glutton and everyone else has the discipline i’d commit war crimes to have

i feel like a wannarexic sometimes which i basically am

i just want to do something right and the only thing i care about is this which i am royally terrible at. sometimes it’s like all i know how to do is eat, doesn’t matter that i purge because im so big.

you know i’m gonna have to lose just over 2/3 my body weight to get to where i wanna be. that’s a lot of fucking weight and there’s no way i end up without loose skin so basically im fucked if i lose to where i wanna be, and fucked if i go crazy and decide to recover because i’ll still be huge. maybe if i actually worked out i wouldn’t end up w so much loose skin or if i did this slowly but slowly pisses me off because my brain is all about that instant gratification

the longer i’m awake the more i want to binge fuck

but i know i will regret it. i knowwwww i will. because ill feel bloated and ill gain and it’ll fucking suck. or ill purge, one of the two. there’s no excuse for it though. this body does not need food, it has PLENTY of natural resources to live on lmao.

i wish i didn’t most likely have the hellscape combo of hypothyroidism + PCOS which both individually make weight loss hard and weight gain so easy. but at the same time i can’t erase my failure by crying about genetics, if i really wanted to get there i’d already have gotten there long ago so now im just wasting everyone’s time.

can u tell the suicidality came back so strong tonite lol

i wonder how many ppl actually read these monstrosities that i write. how many ppl actually absorb my thoughts. trippy

sometimes i think i don’t actually have an eating disorder at all because i am just so inconsistent with anything besides binging. which i know is its own ed but let my silly little rat brain have its moment.

also apparently i literally sleep like the dead bc my hr was 40 when i was sleeping earlier so that’s fun no wonder i wake up feeling like a fucking corpse every day

okay that’s all for now i’ll spare y’all the rest of my brain while i lay here and mentally debate the pros and cons of both trazodone and tequila

[scream-mans-friend]

bc i saw some posts about mics car and bc im normal about cars i will throw in some deeper analysis into his particular vehicle. read more bc i rambled

people who own vintage and/or foreign cars almost instantly have a community of people with similar interests who welcome them with open arms- all you have to do is drive up and you instantly have some new friends

the particular car that mic owns is not just a car- it's *the* icon of vintage american muscle cars. not an icon, *the* icon (chevy fans would argue but they are fighting a losing battle). driving a first generation fastback GT mustang is flashy and brings a lot of joy to people passing by- lots of smiles, waves, thumbs up, and general excitement

and finally, there is no owning an old car without having to work on it. it doesn't matter if you buy it freshly repaired or if you drive it home from a car show, there will eventually be an issue to fix. in terms of our timeline (i dont want to be getting into the whole timeline debate of bnha over this), mic's car is nearing 60 years old, and with old cars, especially old foreign cars, comes time spent

so how does this relate to mic?

I personally headcanon that in his early/mid 20s, he was pretty lonely. his best friend died, he and his friends probably got busy with hero work (plus radio for him), and never mind having to deal with the still fairly fresh grief. mic is also a known workaholic- he likes to have things to keep him busy, and what better way to keep busy then a new hobby?

then, the car itself. a first generation, GT mustang fastback. it certainly doesn't fit into japan's car culture- fast and nimble cars are generally more up their alley- but car people are car people. by owning a mustang, mic would be part of a more exclusive car "club" so to say, full of enthusiasts whose preferred car doesn't fit the local norm. it would help him meet people and make friends, even if they're only friends due to their interest in vehicles, it's something he might desperately need. plus, it's an eye catching car that brings a lot of joy to people- it's for these reasons that I think mic would seek out the particular car that he owns

anyways, a lot of my thoughts about mic and his mustang are centered around headcanons, but i think even without the use of headcanons, the car is still very fitting for mic. it's an iconic vehicle that can bring a lot of people joy and has a large amount of power behind it. restoring and maintaining a classic car is a time-consuming thing, and as a workaholic I'm sure that mic is up for the task.

[adventuringblind]

Hi I saw your requests are open you don’t have to write anything if you don’t want to but I had this idea and I wanted to share

I was thinking of meting Charles on Monaco maybe during Sumer break or something, and being a little homesick so he decides to take us to a bookstore (sorry I just like to rad a lot you can change the place) and just talking about like a book he likes and just sitting on the floor with him looking for something to read and getting romantic

Idk if it makes sense but thank you and have a nice day/night

Home is Where You Are

Charles leclerc x reader

Genre: fluff

Request: Yes! I hope you enjoy it, I thought the idea was super cute! I'm open for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, George, and Daniel. Also, up for poly fics if anyone is interested. (If you have too much love to go around, clap your hands)

Summary: living with Charles is a dream come true. Longing for home, though, can strike anyone. Good thing he's there to help you through it until you can find time to go visit.

Warnings: home sickness, straight fluff

Notes: written in second person. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feelings hurt if you ignor this, but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You and Charles had been together for a while now. Managing to do some long distance when you couldn't travel with him.

Now you were engaged, and you said yes. Knowing you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

You traveled more now. Finding yourself in different countries for the majority of the year. But you always went back home when you could. The family and familiarity bringing you comfort.

When Charles asked you to move in with him, you'd been happy. The two of you now completely together. Ready to share your lives with each other.

You were lucky you could take your job anywhere. The traveling often helping provide inspiration for your novel.

Charles made sure you felt comfortable in his, now yours as well, apartment. Making sure you had your favorite foods. He purchased an entire bookshelf just for you. He even stockpiled the apartment with soft blanket.

It was a dream come true for you.

You loved it. Waking up with Charles. Eating breakfast with him. Not having to FaceTime him to say goodnight for half the year.

When the summer break for formula 1 came around, you found yourself wanting to go back to your home country. You'd been back in Monaco for less than a week, but the days had you missing things you didn't realize you would.

You liked it in Monaco. It's your home now. But it didn't stop your mind from wandering back to the streets you grew up on. To your friends and family. The shops you frequented.

That's how Charles found you. Sitting at the table, staring into your cup of tea. Lost in the world of your subconscious.

"Mon Amour? Are you alright?"

His voice dragged out out of your thoughts. Your eyes dragging themselves to his face as he found a spot next to you.

He knew something was wrong. There was really no point in trying to lie when it was written all over your body.

You run your finger around the rim of your glass. Taking comfort in Charles nimble fingers running up and down your arm.

"Just a bit homesick, I guess." You confessed. Sighing at your relentless thoughts. Pulling your heart deeper into its sad state.

Charles hums in response. Considering what you'd said to him. "I think I know how to cheer you up." He smirks.

Charles couldn't take you back to your home country currently. You'd been working ridiculously hard, and he'd been busy doing sim work. He'd get you there soon, but for now, he'd settle for trying to get your mind off things.

An hour later, you were dressed and walking down the streets of Monaco. Nonclue where Charles was taking you. Just giggling as he held your hand and pulled you along with him. The two of you are making conversation about anything that pops into your heads.

Charles was basking in the warmth of your smile. So much so that he almost missed his intended destination. A little corner store with a vintage looking sign reading 'Nook's Books'.

"Here we are." He smiled and opened the door for you. A little bell rang to alert the owner that someone had entered.

Charles watched as your mouth opened in awe. Taking in the shelves lined top to bottom with books new and old. "I thought you might like it."

"Why did I never know about this?"

"It's hidden away, so those who don't know the city will have a harder time finding it. It's our own little corner of peace." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I was going to surprise you right before the wedding."

It didn't take long for you to grab Charles' hand and lead him down the rows of books.

You'd found many books that you liked and had picked a spot on the floor to look through them.

Charles couldn't help but admire you. On the floor surrounded by books. You looked adorable in his eyes.

He plopped down next to you and spread out his arms and legs. Inviting you without words to come rest your body against his. You happy oblige. Crawling into the safety of his arms.

You spent hours in the small store. Charles listening intently as you either talked about a book or read chapters from one.

The twobof you finally left when the store was about to close. Having spent so much time there that it was now dark outside. The streets illuminated with the orangey hue of lampposts.

Charles spun you around as you walked, Making you giggle. Completely unbothered by the nightlife of Monaco.

When you two made it to the outside of the apartment building, Charles pulled you into him.

"I know I can't get you back to your family right now, but are you feeling a bit better?"

"Yes, thank you, for everything." Your eyes met his soft gaze.

"No thanks needed. I was simply doing my job." He chuckled. Leaning in closer to you.

Finally, his lips landed on yours. A loving kiss shared between you two. But this time, when he kissed you, you knew Charles was your home.

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

Okay alright part 2 ive seen now. I think i can start to scribble down some rambly thoughts. Spoilers for Oceanic Magica against the volcanic witches part 1 and 2.

So this is going in a very different direction than I was expecting. First chapter, I wasn’t a big fan of this whole oceanic and volcanic witches segregation thing. Thought it was quite silly and that it made the witch part of the universe feel less diverse. Now my stupid ass is realizing that’s exactly the point.

So world of ice is currently more of a fantasy political drama. The world of the witches is divided between two parties that already don’t get along well which each other. They try their best to cooperate and make the magic world inhabitable and not destroy their entire system, but as we saw in the court of law in chapter one, it’s difficult. Both sides are screaming at each other during a legal session, can you imagine how their political debates are??

Their legal system is in shambles, as we saw when they tried to prosecute Magica and Grilla. The judges are 2 people, both incredibly biased to their own side, trying to make every session come out in their own favor. Magica literally gets a lighter sentence because she personally knows one of the judges.

The tensions between sea and volcanic witches are pretty high throughout their entire society (it seems they just get out more in court. Kinda like with football in our world), as we see in the second chapter as well. When the 7-2 volcanic witches arrive at Roberta’s (LETS GOOO BTW ROBERTA GOATED why is she so tall though) house and a bunch of sea witches arrive to help her, they immediately grab the chance to insinuate negative assumptions about them. And to make it even more clear, we have our villain proclaiming everything is going according to plan. Like it wasn’t obvious enough.

So let me lay it down ever more obviously. Basically it’s: witch society= two party system that doesn’t work. Bad guy is trying to stir up as much polarization as possible by framing two people from both factions as having committed a terrible crime. Those two people are Magica and Grilla fugitive lovers running away together trying to bring justice to the table and fix society. The whole ice world thing is just a metaphor for problems that we refuse to solve because we’d rather make the other look bad than working together.

So thats the basic gist of it for now. Im especially curious to see how Enna will handle it at the end. Now lets talk about the other fun stuff.

Grilla and Magica are still gay

Some nice character moments that are probably set ups for later (like how magica completely changes character the moment she sees the number one dime. Great scene now that i looked at it again)

Of course it’s not all politics. We also have a lot of great action sequences. And its still a MAGIC society in which this stuff is happening, and its all delightful.

AND ROBERTA KSKSBEKSKSM For some reason Facciotto made her like twice Magica’s height. Look at this.

They used to be the same height now magica has to stand on a stone WHAT DID THEY FEED HER

But I like Roberta she’s a sea witch which eh we’ll see how that turns out. Interesting that she has a whole island for herself. I thought she was more of a traveler. But nothing actually matters except for the fact that shes here and i love her.

Irma is in the magic equivalent of Coral Island. (OR IS SHE??? Oooooohh mysterious who is the figure walkinga round in her house then?) She looks like Juniper from pkna. I guess prison just makes you look younger. I’m gonna sit in a cell for a few weeks and see if my skin has gotten nicer.

The prison looks cool. I wouldn’t mind if it’s gonna be the main setpiece for next week. It honestly looks more interesting than Coral Island already but that could also be recensy bias.

Scrooge is a huge dick which is fun. Feels very Barks. Magica’s line to him: “I’m not a good person, but I would never want to get rich by profiting off a dying world”(very loose translation but thats the general vibe) is great. I’m not expecting anything special with him (he’a just a side character here after all), and you already know when he comes back he will have realized what is right and use what he got for good, but it’s still a nice classic Scrooge thing. It’s at least not DT17 or Rosa Scrooge. I’m sorry I love Gervasio but I’ve just seen too much Rosa Scrooge lately, so this is nice.

Have we talked about Facciotto yet? I feel like I have but I forgot. Doesnt matter because Facciotto deserves all the praise he can get. This is 100% his best work yet. Every single panel looks absolutely stunning. Feels like a completely different art style compared to like 10 years ago. New Facciotto begins here guys.

His designs for the new ocean witches are great too. Character wise i don’t really care that much, same with the volcanic witches. They kind of all blend together except for obvs Grilla.

So that was weekly rambly magica thoughts from me. Remember to ocean your witches okay love you bye

[cal-writes]

hi, i'm here with a couple of bits for the ask game! ❤️ in general AND specifically 221 Beika Street series. 💥 for both one piece and detco. and ✨️👓🦋🦈📚💛 please! may you have a blessed day, Cal!

damn you did not mess around! lets hope mobile doesnt destroy me trying to answer

i will put this under read more bc it got long!

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

i have many! generally i like my dialogue the best usually so this one is from my most recent one piece wip

-

Kureha scoffs and waves him off. “Oh, please. You’re practically glowing like a young bride. You definitely got laid.”

for detco i loved this exchange in A Matter of Deduction

“For the record, you’re a terrible liar.” Shinichi threw over. Hattori hung his head briefly with a sharp laugh. He shut off the water in the sink and dried his hands on a dishtowel he threw at Shinichi with too little force, causing it to land on the floor between them.

 

“And you’re a terrible detective.”

-

for 221 beika street specifically i loved writing amuro and shinichi being bitchy at each other

“I like him better than I do you.” He told Amuro plainly. It wasn’t much of an achievement, considering, but Shinichi still felt like it needed to be said. Since they were being so honest with each other after all. 

 

“I’m well aware,” Amuro said, chuckling. “I hate you less than I do him.” He was still idly turning pages in the book and Shinichi slammed it shut in his hands.

 

“If you bring your gun here again I will make you regret it.”

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

for one piece i think it would be the reveal of why sanji wanted to have to power to turn invisible. listen i have a tough time liking sanji in canon and i thought when it was first brought up that yknow that could be an interesting thing to explore esp with his backstory later with his shitty family like do something with that! and then they were like nah he wants to harass women in the bath. like i pretend i do not see it

for detco its hard bc i think there is so much thats only debatably canon. for me detco isnt really one continuous story so i like to pick and choose with canon anyway. maybe just more queer representation. or any i suppose (the movies arent really canon but the lupin crossover movie has like two or three lines in it that i despise and wish to delete from out universe entirely)

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

there is a lovely person called hikarinomajin (i forgot what their tumblr user name is and cannot find it for the live of me rn) who made a thread on twitter as they read 221 beika street and linked it in the comments and that was a joy to read. they leave lovely comments but that first one and the thread is special to me, ive never had someone make a thread live blogging them reading my writing.

also @blithe-bee is the best hype woman for my wips, lots of comments from her in my google docs drafts that are a huge motivation, i have posted one of my recent favorites on this blog about stabbing zoro being my brand

also a very different but hilarious one is this one on Glue Trap from BnuuyTales, makes me cackle every time

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

playlists! i make playlists for everything. when im starting to get serious about a story i will sit down and make a playlist. here is part of the 221 beika street one

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

they all have their unique quirks. i think i feel the most at home in heijis and laws head bc i can project my own way of thinking on it. a bit scattered and a bit overdrive and run on sentences. its the easiest to write as them i think. a few other characters are fun to write though just because i can use a different style. ive really been enjoying writing robin from one piece and my one shot from sonokos pov bc they think very differently and have different focus and expressions

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

i really struggled with kaito at first. ive mostly seen the movies for detco in the beginning and hadnt read the kaito manga yet so i felt like pulling teeth trying to get his voice down.

for one piece i tried my hand at usopp recently too and i definitely am not as comfortable in his pov yet as other characters but i could see myself really enjoying him down the line

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

@the-pen-pot is someone ive been following since livejournal and shes (i hope thats the right pronouns) a great writer! merlin unfortunately isnt my fandom but if you are into merlin im sure her stuff is still great if not better then when i read her fullmetal alchemist fics back in the day

specific fics is a little though for op and detco bc as soon as i start writing fic i will read less of it in any given fandom xD

but here are some favs

i think a classic for detco is a study in scarlette great work by kittebasu

kaishin power hour, great plot and fantastic pace, also really interesting character exploration

for one piece i absolutely loved Cut My Feelings Clean Off by Augment

zoro as the heart pirates first mate, fantastic dynamics here. absolutely love how their wrote law

if you are into grandmaster of demonic cultivation and horror Post Mortem by Cataclysmic_Calamity was a breathtaking piece of work but do be mindful of the content warnings. the climax is so fantastic i read it multiple times

and for some red vs blue fans P versus NP by @glassedplanets

wash and maine in a canon divergent story. one of my absolute favorites, i followed the progress for years and the author recently started writing one piece too! (that ive been meaning to read as well) so definitely check their stuff out. they also make beautiful art

i wish i was better with names bc i know some of these people have tumblrs too that i follow but i cannot remember the names. i just see vague icon blobs when i scroll my timeline

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

i know its hard especially in this current age of social media but just write for yourself. like i sometimes call writing exorcising things from my brain and i think thats where the passion comes from. dont write for numbers and likes (although those are of course nice too) but they arent a sign of quality or capability.

ages ago on a different website i once did this test where i took the same fic, changed the names into one from a bigger fandom and posted them both. and to see the difference in numbers just based on which fandom or paaring it was from really helped me move on from that mindset of “if there are no comments or likes its bad” sometimes it just means less people have seen it

wow thank you for asking all of them!! this is fun

[dullorangepulp]

P4 & P5 Femc's, Suzume Asakawa & Rei Kurusu!

Info under cut

I wanted to try my hand at creating hypothetical femc's. Not like genderbends of the protagonists (though i always love seeing those), but entirely new characters with different personalities, kinda like Kotone Shiomi from p3p.

I had 3 main philosophies I tried to stick to when designing these gals; they should hypothetically be easy for the player to project themselves onto, they must have the opposite colour scheme of their male protag counterparts, & they must have the opposite personality of their male protag counterparts. Just like Kotone!

I'm kinda bad at explaining, sooo I'll just try to walk u through my design process. Let's start with Suzume!

for Suzume, since purple is the opposite of yellow, i decided to give her a purple colour scheme. Since purple is often associated with royalty, I thought she could be based on the himedere archetype in anime! & what else is the most himedere-hairstyle other than twin curls?

With her design now defined, I moved onto her personality. Im aware it's kinda a debate as to whether or not persona protags have personalities, but personally? i think they do, since they're characterised somewhat consistently across the animes/spin off games (chadrukami & joker having tons of troll dialogue options in p5 strikers come to mind as popular interpretations), so for the sake of making suzume more interesting, let's just say she has one.

Suzume is elegant, prideful, posh, regal, classy, vain, arrogant, & snooty. She takes a lot of pride in her appearance, & loves being the center of attention. Which, considering she's the leader of the investigation team, gives her the perfect excuse to continue stroking her massive ego

In the TV world, Suzume fights with a fencing sword. She accepts her role as the team leader very quickly, & leads her team in a way that can only be described as very.... um.... "authoritative". The best way I can describe her style of leadership is like this; she gets the investigation team to do most of the work beating up shadows, & then she swoops in to get the last hit & steals all the glory! She sucks so much, i love her <3

Suzume always strives to be the best at everything ever. She needs to be better than everyone around her, she always needs to win, because no one likes a loser. & if she's the best, most charming, charismatic, prettiest, & talented girl on planet earth, surely people will HAVE to like her, right? Surely, everyone will HAVE to turn to look at her.... right?

Despite how much she tries to hide it, underneath that perfect princess-like facade is a vulnerable & insecure girl who thinks she needs to be perfect all the time to make up for how unspecial she truly is. She grew up alone & detached from everyone & everything around her, which caused her to be isolated from the world around her. She's basically just drifting through life until she arrives in Inaba. Her princess-like attitude is a mask she puts on to try & get people to pay more attention to her. In Suzume's mind, all attention is good attention. Doesn't matter if people think she's the sweetest angel on earth, or a huge bitch, so long as they look at her. So long as she sticks in their minds forever. So long as they never forget about her again.

Also, she sucks at cooking. Like, she's really bad. Cooking is the one skill she just cannot seem to perfect. She tries to hide how bad she is, to great comedic effect, but. People find out eventually. & uh... it may or may not end with the entire investigation team getting food poisoning. Suzume's cooking is so bad she makes Yukiko look like Gordon Ramsey by comparison.

Ok enough about her, let's move on to Reirei!

Green is the opposite of red, so while I deffo wanted her to be green, i didnt just want her to be green. I wanted her to have more colours so that she wouldn't look too boring. So, I decided that the secondary colour could be pink! This gives her the spring colour palette, which I think fits her very well. I know pink is already one of Kotone's colours, but hey, surely she wouldn't mind sharing. it is caring, after all

Rei has basically the same backstory as the og protag. She was a normal girl, living a normal life, until she was arrested & falsely accused of assault for protecting a woman from a violent drunkard. But the difference between Rei & Ren is in how they cope with being sent away on probation. While Ren puts on the mask of an unassuming, stoic, & shy boy who tries to avoid conflict, Rei has a different approach. She elects to completely lean into people's perception of her, & dons the mask of a tough, ruthless, cold-hearted delinquent. Her design is specifically inspired by sukeban fashion, which actually hasn't been seen since the 80s , but I thought it was fitting for Rei. Plus, I actually have a reason for why she dresses in an outdated fashion style.

The true Rei Kurusu is extremely shy. So shy she can barely talk louder than muttering. She's always been very socially anxious & hates putting herself in the spotlight. She used to hide her face behind long bangs to avoid looking people in the eyes, before she cut them to look more tough & unapproachable (she still mostly avoids eye contact though). Due to her immense shyness during childhood, she didn't have any friends. She grew up with a fairly limited view of the world, & as a result, is behind on a lot of modern trends. This is the kind of girl who only plays retro games on an old console, & who actually still thinks female delinquents in japan dress as sukeban. Yeah, she's kinda stupid. I still love her tho <3 my stupid little gal.

While her inability to look at people when they're talking may come off as rude, Rei doesn't mean any harm by it. She always tries to be nice & polite to everyone, even those who are mean to her, she just... can never seem to get over the hurdles of actually interacting with people beyond simple pleasantries. She always holds people at an arms distance, never wanting to let them in.

Anyways, her facade fools everyone save for only a few; her fellow Phantom Thieves. As the leader, Rei doesn't want to hog any of the spotlight or glory. She thinks the other members are far more skilled, strong, & talented than her, so her leadership style is basically to give orders from the back, while letting everyone else get their chance to shine. She's fairly hands off, only stepping up to the challenge if her team is really knocked down, forcing her to take over & finish off a Shadow with her shinai. Otherwise, her amazing teammates can handle it themselves.

Also, Rei constantly apologises for the smallest of things. Knocking a glass over, or stepping on someone's foot, or just slightly bumping into them, she's always quick to blurt out a "Sorry!" first, even if she's the one who got bumped. Doesn't really help her keep up her delinquent persona, though, so her classmates fairly quickly figure out that she's not actually that threatening. Deep down, she's actually just a really sweet dumbass. A female himbo, if that's even a thing that exists.

ok thats all bye

(doodle reqs open!)