#⭐ insecurity unlocked ⭐

[stars-mischief]

Hey, this might be a little bit personal but did you ever struggle as a he/they?

Please don't sound offensive....

Were you born male or did you change later in life? Because I was born male and still have people being pissy about my pronouns.

Maybe I just want someone to relate too...

It's definitely gotten better now that I'm in pelican town and I'm super grateful for that but sometimes it's still hard.

- Charlie (@audrey-and-charlie-sdv)

i struggle, yes, but i don't know how similar it is to your experiences, charlie..

you see, i am trans masculine.

more often than not, people will default to "they" (for me). i mean, i get where they're coming from - they just want to be helpful and try using "they" as well, but.. it hurts sometimes, you know?

just once i'd prefer someone would assume he before they..

it..

ah.. it sometimes makes me feel as if they don't view me as "man enough" to be referred to as he or as a guy, but.. i am one.

along with this, liking bright colors and quote unquote "feminine*" things tends to make people assume even less of me..

but, i do like those things. and i don't plan on changing myself or my self expression just to change how people view me.

you know.. i've once debated dropping "they" entirely because i wanted people to see me how i see myself, despite being comfortable with they and liking how i felt when people called me that.

but, recently, someone told me this piece of advice:

"you can't always control how people are going to see you, so don't exhaust yourself trying to prove things to someone who might not even listen"

i think you could benefit from this, too, charlie.

i understand your sentiment and how desperately you want to be viewed as one thing when people see you as another. i also understand that, despite how much you may want to, you can't really change how other people see you.

and, in the end, your perception of yourself is the most important.

if you see yourself as something, then you are that. no questions asked - no matter how anyone tries to argue or invalidate you.

and, hey, if there's anything i need to do or say to help you, just let me know.

pelican town is amazing and full of super accepting people. i'm sure if you spoke to someone and expressed your feelings, they could find a way to make you feel more comfortable.

* term used loosely as femininity is subjective

[random-imagines-blog]

Marvel Masterlist

In an attempt to organize the blog and keep everything in order, masterlists are being made to join together into a masterlist of masterlists to make it easier for those on mobile. Thanks for being patient!

Smut is indicated with a ⭐

Steve Rogers / Captain America

Oneshots

Connection

Imagines

Imagine being in a polyamorous relationship with Steve and Natasha, and feeling insecure.

Imagine being with Steve Rogers.

Imagine Steve Rogers going undercover to get your feminine products for you.

Imagine Nick Fury trying to break you and Steve Rogers up because he thinks you’re a distraction.

Imagine Steve Rogers stopping a homophobic attack.

Imagine living a quiet life with Steve Rogers.

Imagine dressing up in a dress from the 1940s to catch Steve’s attention.

Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier

Oneshots

Unlock It

Walked the Line

Never Wanted to Dance

10 AM

Memories of a Survivor

Dancing First, Introductions Second

Russian Into Things

Imagines

Imagine touch-starved Bucky Barnes.

Imagine Bucky Barnes being in a cuddly mood while you’re trying to study.

Imagine Bucky Barnes falling for you even though you’re part vampire.

Imagine Bucky Barnes meeting your friends.

Imagine a road trip with Bucky Barnes.

Imagine taking Bucky Barnes to the Empire State Building for a view of New York.   

Imagine slow dancing with Bucky Barnes at the Avengers Christmas Party.

Imagine being a photographer who gets caught up in the streetfight between the Winter Soldier and Captain America - and The Winter Soldier looks directly into your camera.  

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow

Oneshots

Loud Mouth

Imagines

Imagine Natasha Romanoff taking care of you after a rough mission.

Imagine being Natasha’s son, and doing the final snap.

Imagine convincing Natasha to go on a vacation with you.

Imagine Natasha Romanoff giving you a black eye during training.

Imagine sleepy mornings with Natasha Romanoff.

Imagine suffering from nightmares, and the only thing that helps you sleep is Natasha playing with your hair.

Imagine owning a bakery that was destroyed during the battle in New York, and Natasha comes and helps you fix it up personally.

Imagine Natasha being worried about you after you got wounded.   

Imagine being in a polyamorous relationship with Steve and Natasha, and feeling insecure.

Clint Barton / Hawkeye

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being the third Maximoff triplet and dating Clint Barton.

Imagine you and Clint taking in Wanda after the death of her brother. 

Imagine seeing Clint upset.

Imagine Clint Barton sending you a message that he misses you.

Imagine Clint Barton showing you his musical talents.

Imagine Clint Barton looking for you specifically among the survivors. 

Imagine being the God of Desire, and using your powers to break Loki's mind control over Hawkeye.

Bruce Banner / The Hulk

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine going to Bruce’s office multiple times a day to ‘borrow supplies’.

Imagine laying in bed with Bruce Banner and listening to the calming rain.

Imagine comforting Bruce Banner after his transformation by bringing him comfort food and watching cartoons.

Imagine having a “oh no he’s hot” moment when meeting Gladiator Hulk for the first time.

Tony Stark / Iron Man

Oneshots

No Matter What You Say {Mentor1 Tony}

Imagines

Imagine Tony Stark catching you sing a song to remember things.

Imagine Tony Stark being your noisy college neighbor.

Imagine an Alternate Universe where you are a billionaire genius superhero and Tony Stark is your assistant.

Imagine getting Tony Stark the perfect gift.

Imagine Tony Stark seeing your pregnancy bump for the first time.

Imagine Tony Stark getting teased about liking you.

Imagine surprising Tony Stark in his lab with a homecooked meal.

Thor Odinson

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being Newlyweds with Thor.

Imagine Thor wanting to know more about your world so you take him to all of the tourist attractions.

Imagine teaching Thor how to drive.

Imagine Thor’s reaction when he sees someone bullying you.

Imagine being the God of Desire and seducing Thor during a trip to Omnipotence City

Imagine being the God of Desire, and Zeus using you to distract Thor.

Loki Laufeyson

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine introducing Loki to video games.

Imagine taking Loki to a museum to prove to him that there is and always was good on Earth.

Imagine Loki fighting back feelings for you because you’re with his brother.

Imagine Loki being quiet for too long.

Imagine going to Ikea with Loki, and he’s able to pronounce everything perfectly. 

Imagine playing Spin the Bottle with the Avengers, but having it somehow land on the tied up Loki.

Wade Wilson / Deadpool 

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Deadpool’s reaction to finding out that you have four arms.

Imagine being a magical girl dating Wade Wilson.

Imagine teaching Wade Wilson how to swim.

Imagine helping Deadpool out with an itch.

Imagine Wade Wilson waiting for you to be done work.

Imagine being behind Deadpool in line at a Mexican Food Truck.

Imagine painting Wade’s suit with Glow in the Dark paint.

Imagine showing up to help Deadpool in a supersuit of your own.  

Imagine meeting Deadpool at bad karaoke night.

Imagine Deadpool dealing with your Autassassinophilia.

Charles Xavier / Professor X

Oneshots

Broken

Bless Your Solemn Unending Virtue

Issues

The Future’s Wide Open

Imagines

Imagine Charles Xavier going through your head when your ADHD is acting up.

Imagine Charles Xavier picking up when you’re high and having weird thoughts.

Imagine Charles hearing you sing, and having a sexual reawakening.

Imagine Charles and Erik working together to help you achieve your goals.

Imagine being with Charles while and after he was shot.

Imagine catching Charles Xavier saying something you say to yourself in your mind all the time.

Imagine Charles Xavier catching you sneak out to meet with an abusive ex.

Erik Lehnsherr

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Erik Lensherr saving you from getting arrested.

Imagine Erik Lehnsherr coming up with a new nickname for you.

Imagine introducing Erik Lehnsherr to the marvels of Karaoke.

Imagine Charles and Erik working together to help you achieve your goals.

Imagine Erik Lehnsherr making you something special out of metal and then making it fly.

Imagine Erik Lehnsherr trying to convince you to leave with him, away from Charles and the X-Men.

Imagine training yourself to be more in control of your powers and Erik watching and guiding you.  

Imagine inviting Erik Lehnsherr for a swim on a moonlit night.

Imagine Erik Lensherr writing you secret letters, and you finding out that it was him.

Logan Howlett / Wolverine

Oneshots

Hello Time Bomb ⭐

Imagines

Imagine Logan protecting you in a bar fight.

Imagine giving a demonstration of your powers, and Logan taking note.

Imagine trying to bring the light out of Logan.  

Imagine being the descendant of one of Logan’s past lovers, and his reaction when he sees the resemblance.

Imagine arguing with Logan and him slowly realizing that you’re right.

Imagine Logan debating whether or not to join you in a bar fight.

Imagine being a telepath and accidentally broadcasting your sexy thoughts about Logan Howlett into his mind.

Imagine being a mutant with an uncontrollable poisonous touch and being elated to discover Logan Howlett’s power makes him immune.

Hank McCoy  

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine having children with Hank McCoy.

Imagine going to Hank McCoy for everything.

Imagine Hank coming to your defense when you are called a freak.

Imagine always being in support of Hank McCoy’s research, and him being just as impressed and supportive at your important research discovery.

Imagine getting into an argument with your boyfriend Hank McCoy and big brother Logan steps in.

Alex Summers

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine killing time with Alex Summers between lessons.

Imagine your first kiss with Alex Summers.

Imagine Alex coming back from a mission and finally looking upon his newborn child.

Imagine throwing Alex Summers a surprise party.

Imagine Alex Summers being assigned to your rescue mission. 

Sean Cassidy

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Sean Cassidy trying to impress you.

Imagine spending a chilly Autumn day with Sean Cassidy.

Imagine taking Sean Cassidy out drinking to calm his nerves and it backfires.

Imagine Sean Cassidy being impressed by your powers.   

Pietro Maximoff

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Pietro pining for you, even after you two start dating.

Imagine Pietro’s reaction to you betraying him.

Imagine Pietro using his powers to impress you.  

Scott Summers

Oneshots

Tree Land

Imagines

Imagine Scott Summers being yandere for you.

Peter Quill

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine sneaking a baby goat onto Peter’s ship.

Imagine being the only female on Yondu’s ship and having a close relationship with Peter Quill.

Imagine always being in competition with Peter Quill over who is a better pilot.

Imagine Peter Quill visiting your apartment on Earth for the first time.

Imagine surprising Peter by wearing new lingerie.

Drax The Destroyer

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Drax asking Rocket to take all of you to a beach island for a day off.

Imagine calling Drax The Destroyer a ‘A precious cinnamon roll, too pure for this galaxy.’ 

Peter Parker

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being unable to believe Peter Parker is Spiderman because you’ve seen what a dork he is.

Imagine Peter Parker having to explain to his friends why you’re his dream partner.

Imagine bringing Peter Parker to your favorite place.

Imagine being the only Vampire member of the Avengers and catching Peter Parker’s attention.

Imagine Peter Parker kidnapping you as Spiderman and taking you to his favorite spot in the city.

Imagine telling Peter Parker you’re pregnant right before he goes to space.

Harry Osborne

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine dating Harry Osborn but having to be careful because his father disapproves.

Imagine Harry Osborn finding out you‘re dating Peter Parker. 

Jessica Jones

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being a fortune-teller and telling Jessica Jones her personal prophecy.

Trish Walker

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being best friends with Trish Walker, but realizing you’re in love with her.

Imagine Trish Walker allowing herself to be soft with you.

Kilgrave

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Kilgrave letting you boss him around.

Dr Stephen Strange

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Stephen Strange messing up his first kiss with you and his cloak comforting him.

Imagine Stephen Strange taking you out on a romantic date.

Imagine Dr Strange not knowing how to react to your creative ideas.

Imagine saving Sinister!Strange’s life.

Imagine using magic to seduce your rival Stephen Strange in his dreams.

Imagine being Stephen Strange’s rival and a backfiring spell causes you to blurt out your thirsty thoughts about him.

Lady Sif

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine challenging Lady Sif to battle - at arcade games. Winner gets pizza.

Imagine Lady Sif coming to Midgard to surprise you.

Imagine helping Lady Sif to calm down after a battle.

Imagine going to Lady Sif right after your heartbreak.

Erik Killmonger

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Erik Killmonger bringing you to Wakanda with him to be his Queen.

Imagine spending a day in bed with Erik Killmonger, and touching his scars.

Sam Wilson

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine wanting to quit the Avengers after the losses you went through, but Sam tries to convince you to come back.

Imagine getting drunk and stealing penguins from the zoo with Sam Wilson.

Kurt Wagner

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being more important to Kurt Wagner than gold.

Imagine teasing Kurt Wagner in class. 

Cable

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine dragging Cable to an art class.

Imagine Cable going after the guy who interrupted your wedding.

Valkyrie

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being a new champion, and catching Valkyrie’s attention.

Imagine your arguments with Valkyrie getting intense.

T’Challa

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine trying to organize a sports tournament in Wakanda.

M’Baku

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine M’Baku trying to become King of Wakanda because he thinks you deserve to be it’s Queen.

Imagine being noticeably distracted by M'Baku’s good looks during a diplomatic meeting.

 Matt Murdock

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Matt Murdock calming you down after an anxiety attack.

Imagine Daredevil saving you from Wilson Fisk.

Imagine Matt Murdock confessing his love to you.

Imagine Matt Murdock helping you in a Bird Box-esque world.

Imagine asking Matt to dance at a wedding.

Imagine playing a hugging game with Matt Murdock.

Foggy Nelson

Imagines

Oneshots

Karen Page

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being a fellow writer in a friendly rivalry with Karen Page.

Wilson Fisk

Oneshots

The Wind That Carries Me Away

Imagines

Imagine Wilson Fisk experiencing your love without any trace of fear.

Frank Castle

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine putting yourself in a dangerous situation even though Frank Castle warned you not to.

Imagine Frank Castle taking care of you during a depression spell.

Imagine being the God of Desire and meeting Frank Castle.

Scott Lang

Oneshots

Imagines

Hope Van Dyne

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine exchanging looks with Hope Pym every time Scott talks.

Danny Rand

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine it driving Danny Rand crazy that you’re pessimistic.

Imagine Danny Rand being scared of losing you. 

Colleen Wing

Oneshots

Imagines

Luke Cage

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Luke Cage throwing a surprise party for your birthday.

Imagine watching comedy movies with Luke Cage to help him relax.

Imagine having heating powers, and using that to your advantage when Luke Cage, comes over.

Imagine showering with Luke Cage.

Wanda Maximoff

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine standing against Wanda hate.

Imagine you and Wanda trying to ‘fix’ each other.

Malcolm DuCasse

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Malcolm wanting to keep you safe from Killgrave. 

Mantis

Oneshots

Imagines

Shades

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine taking off with Shades on a motorcycle.

Imagine proving to Shades that girls can be badass too. 

Peggy Carter

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine starting a new position, and Peggy Carter being your superior.

Edwin Jarvis

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine going undercover with Edwin Jarvis but he refuses to give up his suits and ties.

Eddie Brock

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine Eddie not being able to believe someone as beautiful as you would want to be seen with him.

Imagine Eddie being worried that Venom will hate you, but it’s just the opposite.

Imagine scolding Eddie for ignoring you while he’s out being Venom.

Harold Meachum

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine being Harold Meachum’s much younger girlfriend.

Imagine Harold Meachum being jealous of those who get to spend time with you.

Emma Frost

Oneshots

Let Her Go

Imagines

Otto Octavius

Oneshots

Something Good

Imagines

Steven Grant / Marc Spector

Imagines

Oneshots

Jennifer Walters

Oneshots

Imagines

Imagine waking up next to Jennifer Walters when she’s in Hulk form.

Maria Hill

Oneshots

Dark Snow

Scars

Imagines

Imagine Maria seeing happy relationships, and being annoyed because she barely gets to see you.

Colossus

Oneshots

All I Need

Imagines

General

Oneshots

Scavengers

Scavengers Part 2

Roman Candle

Imagines

Imagine hacking into FRIDAY and changing her greetings to the Avengers.

Imagine being the God of Desire, and being thirsty for the Avengers men.

[joyfuladorable]

⭐!

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Blessings upon ye, Lolly!! I shall talk about “That’s My Mom!”

So, this fic actually began as a tiny divergence! It started with Junior seeing his mom’s photos and then interrupting the conversation shortly thereafter, halting the pizza stacking challenge. I decided after a while that I wanted it to fit in canon properly and changed CJ’s interruption to after Raph beats Leo’s record. I also plan to make this fit with the Casey (Sr) lore I’m writing, so you’ll eventually be able to read her perspective of this scene with the added bonus of context for how she’s developed since the show, huhuhu!!

So, there’s a bunch of scenes/lines I wanna talk about:

- The Incident mentioned near the beginning is the same one from the last flashback where Casey teleports F!Leo and Jr away. Junior suffered both physical and mental trauma from it, which repressed most of his memories of his mom. I hope I made that clear in the fic, lol!

- “Do you know how many ‘Casey Jones’ are in the Manhattan area alone?? Too many! I counted- TWICE!” << And Casey Sr has challenged just about all of them (and won) to establish dominance #FACTS

- “What are you talking about, I calculated the perfect am- OWW!!” Donnie rubs at the arm Mikey just elbowed. << Proud of this one, hehe!! I was actually a little nervous writing this fic cuz of how easy I know it is to mischaracterize the Rise turtles, but I think I did a pretty good job! *pats self on back*

- Casey is, at this point, halfway through befriending the Hamato Clan. She already had Splinter’s vote of confidence by the end of the show. And of Course she’s Besties with Raph! (I’ll get into the hows and whens and whys in my lore fic probably). Mikey wormed his way into her heart like the little gremlin he is. And she’s on full given name basis with Leo and Don (ie calling them Leonardo and Donatello) and on Last Name basis with April (due to a wombo combo of social awkwardness, presumed rivalry, and currently misunderstood romantic feelings). It’ll get better! …Eventually!!

- Okay, whatever he thought before was a big fat fucking Lie. He Can’t Actually Handle This. << Contradictory Transitions are Hilarious so of course I had to put one in

- It makes sense now, why the older members of the Resistance spoke of the past with such fondness. There’s hope in abundance here, in the idle chatter and the eyes lacking decades of trauma. He’s glad to have helped save this. << Casey only just beginning to understand the dissonance and gravity of being the sole survivor of a doomed timeline

- a scent of ozone fills the air and lightning forms and crackles around a glowing pink portal lined with the petals of the Hamato clan symbol. << Casey was already experienced with portal magic, so once she eventually (I’ll get into it in the lore fic) unlocked her Ninpo, I don’t see why she Wouldn’t utilize it to power the abilities she learned in the Foot

- “The Kraang, yes, I know.” << Girl knows the bylaws of the Foot Clan by Heart. Why Wouldn’t she know about the Kraang? Woulda been majorly helpful during the movie me thinks *looks directly at the camera*

- “All your talk about Family this, Togetherness that,” Casey spits. Then, the anger just- vanishes , and Junior watches his mother curl in on herself, arms crossed and head dipping below her shoulders. He’s too far to hear what she says next, but the Hamatos near her certainly do, sharing wide-eyed sorrowful looks. << lore fic will eventually reveal what she said, but ah y’know *points at Casey* we got a former cult member feeling unsteady on her feet and insecure about her place with this close knit family! *strokes chin* Similar to Junior’s own insecurities, hmm?

- He’s 7 and his mom gives him a Choice << Exact same age as Casey when she started training for the Foot. Casey maybe felt she didn’t Have a Choice, so she sure as hell made sure her son got one

- “Tell me something I would only ever entrust to my child.” << Again, Lore Fic will reveal All

- She hugs him, gathers him into her arms and presses him against her. And despite having been given comfortable clothes and modern amenities and food and the peace of mind that the Kraang will not ruin this timeline, Casey finally Finally feels safe. << 🥹🥹 made myself cry writing this one. Oh, to be a displaced teen finding comfort in the arms of the past self of your deceased mother…

- “And…” The hug slackens only a smidge as Casey’s tone turns soft and hopeful. “Will you bake brownies with me?” << *crying again* Remember that soft heartbroken tone Casey used when Draxum called her an Assistant? Imagine that but Positive

As my first published TMNT fic, I’m proud of this one!! Thanks so much to everyone who’s read it, especially the commenters you are the lifeblood of fic authors Everywhere

[eddiethenerdbro]

I posted 4,966 times in 2022

That's 4,460 more posts than 2021!

103 posts created (2%)

4,863 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hydepotions

@starscreamfireworks

@clioquev

@science-bastard

@queen-fenestra

I tagged 845 of my posts in 2022

#phantom of the paradise - 64 posts

#jekyll and hyde - 31 posts

#thursday - 27 posts

#riverspeaks - 26 posts

#ask riverthenerdbro - 19 posts

#art - 12 posts

#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde - 11 posts

#goncharov - 11 posts

#hah - 10 posts

#mazm jekyll and hyde - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#autism is getting one of those locks where you have to set a word to open the lock just so you can lock and unlock it every night

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

24 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

Like if you’re dehydrated 

Reblog if you’re dehydrated

27 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#3

I have a drawing idea

Orin scrivello polishing his boots

28 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

Hey y'all!

I just wanted to talk about an issue that I've been personally facing. Very often, whenever I'm looking at trans tiktoks, most of the time, it's only skinny, muscular guys, not that there is any problem with that! It's awesome!!!! But I have found that looking at all these people, I start to feel very insecure about myself.

I am not a "skinny minnie" as my mum says. I am very self conscious about my hips and my thighs, as they give me a very feminine appearance. I sometimes feel like I will never be able to pass as a guy, because people will just assume because of how my body looks. I have already experienced this at my school, and I get worried that this will happen to me forever.

My friends are super supportive, including my boyfriend, which helps like crazy!! Speaking of things that I find helpful for ⭐mentally passing⭐, I'll list a few!

I find it incredibly awesome to wear some kind of belt (my favorite being one that's black with white belt buckle hole things!) just because it feels like a staple masc part of an outfit to my brain!

Another thing that I find helps is wearing really colorful jewelry, like rainbow dog tags, rainbow bracelets, or really funky rings! I usually have them set out in a spot where I always see them, and I immediately put them on first thing in the morning.

Shoes that make you happy! I have a pair of butter orange converse that I usually wear in the summer, and late fall. Bonus for me, pairing funky boots with equally funky socks! My favorite pair being Nightmare Before Christmas ankle socks!

Always have a hoodie or jacket on hand! Ever feeling super, shmooper dysphoric? Feeling super wrong? Just find yourself a comfy hoodie, jacket, vest, or whatever! My three favorite dysphoria reliving jackets are a black jean jacket, with various pins, a burgundy red zip up hoodie, and a hand me down vest with even more weird pins on it! I find that this relives most forms of dysphoria I experience.

I hope this list helps some of my fellow trans mascs, or just fellow trans people in general! Most of these tips are relating to trans guys, as I, myself am one, but any of these could help you! I always enjoy talking about my experiences, and if any of my tips help, I'm glad they do!

Have a good day/night/afternoon everyone!

33 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello everyone!

My name is River, and I’m a really funky dude!

On this blog, you might see:

Phantom Of The Paradise (and Phantom Of The Opera) 

Jekyll & Hyde 

Muppets (in general) 

Little Shop Of Horrors

Magnus Archives 

And may other things! I have a rather eclectic taste in things, and I often post really random content

Hope You Enjoy Your Stay Here! 

No Racist, Homophobic, Transphobic, Sexist Assholes Allowed 

36 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[stars-mischief]

* you have been given a truth potion *

tell us your name. your full name.

** this is a writing prompt

what?

you guys already know my name, though...

it's st-

[ he attempts to say the word "star" but some force prevents him from finishing it ]

huh..?

that's weird..

[ he tries again, though it was the same result. ]

.....

oh..

you want that one, huh?

fine.

since it appears i have no choice, i'll tell you.

my name..

my full name... is..

"astarion arin nonymous."

but.. i don't like using it. ever.

i much prefer to be called "star", okay?

"star" is the name i've chosen for myself.

it doesn't belong to anyone else, it doesn't carry stupid expectations, and it certainly doesn't have a trail of people he hurt attached to it..

as far as i'm concerned, star is the only name i have.

well.. there you go, i guess..

i hope you're fuckin' happy.

[stars-mischief]

ꩇׁׅ֪݊ɑׁׅᥣׁׅ֪ꪱׁׁׁׅׅׅᨰׁׅɑׁׅ݊ꪀɑׁׅᧁׁ 𝗻𝗮 𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕦𝕚𝕟...

ᏆҒ վօմ ᘿᘉᕲᘿᕲ υρ Iᑎ 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖙 ΝᏆᏀᎻͲᎷᎪᎡᎬ, 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 уσυ £å𝖈ｅ ｉｔ ꄲꋪ ʳᵘⁿ ᎪᏔᎪᎽ?

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝖘𝖊𝖊, 𝒊𝒏 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ᏋᎥᎿᏲᏋᏒ 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 і𝗍 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝒹ᵢₑ å 𝓱��𝓻𝓸... 𝐨𝐫 ʏօʊ ႺმႶ ɾυɳ 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝙖𝙣𝙙 ꒒ꀤ꒦ꍟ, 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝖺 ᑢᓍᘺᗩᖇᕲ...

— V...? ( @ur-farming-weirdo 💚 )

[ id: "if you ended up in your worst nightmare, would you face it or run away?

you see, in life, you either confront it and die a hero or you can run away and live, just like a coward... "]

well..

that's a hard question to answer, V... er.. not V, i suppose.

my worst nightmare isn't exactly something tangible.

it's not something physical that jumps out and scares you..

it scares you in other ways - it messes with your mind.

you see.. my worst nightmare is simply this: being forgotten or being useless.

oftentimes i fear that.. people will only like me because i'm useful to them.

i think that, if i continue to make them laugh, they'll stick around..

but the second the jokes stop?

the second i act like something other than an immature goofball?

the second i become real..?

they can't handle it.

um..

anyway.

spiders are also pretty scary, i suppose.

that would cause me to run away.

how did you put it?

"like a coward"..?

[stars-mischief]

WOAH. are you alright?

do you need me to get you anything?

maybe a distraction?

hng..

...

...ah

you don't get it, do you..?

i wish people would stop asking that.

i don't need someone to run to me the second i express something other than happiness.

i don't need you to coddle me.

i don't want you to treat me like a child just because you think something is wrong with me.

i don't want you to hide things from me because you think it'll protect me.

i don't want you to treat me like i'm stupid - like i can't see what's blatantly in front of me.

[ sigh ]

look, i know you just want to be helpful - because you care about me..

but.. all my life.. i've had people hide things from me - their true emotions, really.

they would often put on a brave face and act like nothing is wrong because they think i'm some.. pathetic kid who can't take care of himself.

i could see through it back then.. i can see right through it now, too.

they wanted to protect me, i suppose.

[ scoffs ] a lot of good that did.

a lot of this has to do with that name, i suppose.

but, you guys don't need all those details..

anyway, i appreciate it, i do, but it gets frustrating after a while.

i know you don't intend to baby me, but i can't help but see it that way - as that's what it's always been..

i'm not a child anymore.

i just wish people would realize that sometimes.

[stars-mischief]

hey

what does it feel like, knowing you're neurodivergent? i keep looking into different habits i have and it's something i think about a lot, but i always just feel more broken the more i look

so what is it like? and how do you know for sure?

;; angst beneath the cut

[ he goes silent for a moment, debating how to best approach this scenario ]

...

[ he looks up at the anon and speaks ]

well, it's different for everyone, i suppose.

for me, especially in the early stages of my life, it was really isolating.

as a child, i never really "fit in" with the people around me. i mean, void, i didn't have many friends until i was 18 years old.

though most have grown distant.. since i moved to the valley..

i couldn't understand why i didn't fit in. moreover, other people seemed to notice things about me and were very abrasive.

they.. they didn't like how i was different, i suppose.

i felt different, too.

no matter how hard i tried, no matter how much i wanted them to like me, they.. they never did.

oftentimes i'd watch someone else say something and i'd notice how their jokes always seemed to land. so, i'd try to strike up a conversation. only to be met with strange looks and sideways glances, as if i somehow said the wrong thing without realizing it.

it.. it was really disheartening.

there were times in my life when i found myself thinking: "why am i not like anyone else? why don't i fit in?" and, eventually, i convinced myself that there must be something wrong with me..

so, i decided that i would "fix it".

i carefully watched other people's behaviors and mimicked them as if they were my own, all because i thought that if i was more like them and less like.. me.. that they'd actually want to be my friend.

i found myself following the trends just so i could have the slightest thing in common with them, even though it didn't make me happy or i didn't enjoy the trends that much..

eventually, i began to morph into a dull, "normal" version of myself. or, that's what i was telling myself, anyway. in truth, there are points in my life where i look back and.. i don't recognize the man i see.

but it didn't matter. i convinced myself that, if people didn't like me for being different, then i wouldn't be different ever again. i would like what they liked, i would crush any undesirable behavior, i would become normal, even if it caused me to lose myself.

...and, it did. for a long time.

it didn't help that, while i was going through this, another crisis occurred (transgenderism beam). i never felt more confused in my life. and, no matter where i looked, no one seemed to be able to relate to my experiences. i felt completely and totally alone.

i hate that feeling.

...

so, a few years pass and im still masking almost constantly.

its exhausting, to say the least. but i kept it up.

i have never truly found a place where i felt like i belonged. i was always the "weird" kid, i was always "different", i was always "too much". but, i wanted to find that place so, so badly..

so i forced myself to hide any interest that was deemed "weird" by other people, i forced myself to hide how happy and passionate these interests made me. all because i wanted people to like me.

and, they did, i suppose.. i had what i always wanted; people liked me and didn't think of me as weird or a freak.. so why wasn't i happy?

i could never figure that part out and i was too exhausted from the constant masking to try.

...

anyway, i manage to make a few friends during this period of time (mainly by sticking to their interests and only mentioning things i knew they liked)..

and, i began developing an interest that was different from theirs.

it was something that i was super passionate about and it brought me immense happiness every time it was mentioned.. plus, my brain was craving some dopamine. all those years of wearing the exhaustive mask were.. well, talking a toll.

i didn't think much about it at the time and began happily rambling about this new interest.. but, this person, whom i considered a really good friend, absolutely hated it. and they hated me, too, i would later realize.

i guess i got a little too carried away while talking and, without realizing, the mask slipped away. i was just so excited - i had to share this interest with one of my favorite people, you know?

but.. it didn't exactly end up that way, huh.

this person.. ah.. they blatantly insulted one of my passions and then proceeded to call me annoying (among other things) for talking about it, or even enjoying it.

i took it to heart, i suppose..

void, it even still affects me - nearly five years later.

i.. that interaction.. it made me feel incredibly self conscious.

now, whenever i find something i'm passionate about, i tend to enjoy it silently.. by myself.

i feel that, whenever i say more than three words about something that interests me.. whoever i'm talking to will be put off. that they'll find it annoying and tell me to shut up. and i'll be nothing more than i was all those years ago: a scared little kid, all alone, dealing with this confusing world.

i never want to feel like that again.

i don't want anyone else to feel like that, either.. which is why i make a conscious effort to remember everyone's favorite things and ask them about their interests..

it's absolutely awful having someone you care about be so rude and dismissive about something you enjoy...

...

but, to answer your question, i don't think there is a defined way to "know for sure" - at least one that i've found..

you know, it's crazy, but people who aren't neurodivergent seem to have a "second sense" for finding those who are and, subsequently, they choose to be complete and utter assholes.

just because someone is "different".

but you don't deserve that, no one deserves that.

despite what everyone may think, being neurodivergent is not a bad thing.

it's amazing. it allows you to understand things differently than traditional methods, it allows you to enter periods of hyperfocus and do things that (typically) take a week in one afternoon.

you are not broken. you will never be broken - not to me, anyway.

you are amazing and perfectly capable and so, so worthy of love and should be able to express yourself without feeling like you're doing something wrong.

oftentimes, being neurodivergent can feel like, no matter how hard you try, the world seems to reject you and your efforts. it wants to squish you down and remove the individuality out of you. it wants you to become what they see as "normal".

please, from the bottom of my heart, don't give in. don't let them make you into what they want to see or what you think will please them..

it's so, so exhausting and it takes years to remove that mask and unlearn the behaviors. sometimes you can't unlearn them, though.. and they haunt your mind and fill it with self doubt.

yeah, it's scary.. and isolating.. and overwhelming sometimes.. but when you're in your element? when you're surrounded by supportive and like minded people? when you find the place you truly belong? it's amazing.

um.. anyway..

...

i hope this was insightful.. but, like i said, everyone's experiences are different.

[stars-mischief]

*squishes his cheeks*

Smol

hrm.

i am five foot nine, five eleven when wearing shoes, dude.

i'm not small.

[stars-mischief]

you mentioned that pelican town was "different from where you came from"..

where did you come from, anyway?

...do you mind telling us about it?

like.. what was it like?

....

....

[ sigh ]

i don't like thinking about that place - especially more than i already do.

all you need to know is that.. it's a place no one should ever go.

it's cold, and dark, and lonely and..

sorry.

it's just..

even the thought of that place.. ah.. it dredges up a lot of things i'd rather forget.

to be honest, it scares me, too.

sometimes.. i'll wake up in the middle of the night and i'm back in that place.. it feels like my feet are glued to the floor every single time: i'm unable to get out, unable to do anything. completely, utterly helpless.

i hate it.

i'm never going back to that place. you can't make me go back.

not.. not after i worked so hard to get out.

not after she sacrificed everything just so i'd have the smallest chance to be free - to be happy..

um.. anyway.

don't worry about where i'm from, okay?

i'm here now, and that's all that matters.

pelican town is warm.. and bright.. and full of amazing people.

pelican town is my home.

[stars-mischief]

NOO

WHY IS MY LIGHT SAD??

:C

s'nothing, nonnie.

i'm sorry for worrying you.

since he's deciding to be stubborn: i'll explain for you.

star hates being seen as "childlike" or immature. getting called either of these things tends to grind his gears. recently, anons have called him "child" and "baby" (although i know they were meant affectionately, star does not).

he often struggles with viewing himself in a mature way - he cracks jokes all the time, is constantly smiling and warm towards everyone. while he enjoys doing this, he can't help but feel as if he acts too childish at times.

along with this, star is neurodivergent. he has often been told that he acted "more mature" at a young age than he acts now. he tends to take things like that to heart.

[stars-mischief]

baby

oh.

[stars-mischief]

Go sleep starchild

child...?

i'm twenty two years old..

[stars-mischief]

heya~~

the name is star a. nonymous, but you can call me star or "star nonnie"! (though, some people call me starry, hehe~~)

he/they, 22 years old!

trans masculine & unlabeled queer.

autism and audhd.

i'm pelican town's resident silly guy! i love telling jokes and puns.

i don't bite - most of the time anyway~~

i love giving people fun nicknames!

feel free to send me any questions, hehe (=^__^=)

star's ref sheet

starry's space jams (his playlist)

⭐ rules ⭐

this is for fun! star is an oc i created :3

you can flirt with him, if you'd like!

multiship is okay!**

friendships are always welcomed, too!

** if you have a ship in mind, please contact me. HOWEVER i must ask that you be at least 17-18 years old for direct blog x blog shipping. im all for it, stars has a lot of love to go around, but writing in a romantic or flirting way to anyone younger than this makes me highly uncomfortable!

basic rules: no bigotry of ANY kind!

it will not be tolerated and that's not gonna get posted ??

no irl religion or politics! in game versions of these are fair game.

you can also ask him his opinions on other villagers!

nsfw JOKES are okay, no actual nsfw please ;;

in character interactions are so fun and welcomed!

you should totally ask questions and try to get lore about stars hehe~~

ALSO: if you don't see your ask answered, tumblr probably ate it.. it does that sometimes. just send it again. however, sometimes i do not know how to answer the asks so i just. don't. i reserve the right to delete any asks that make me or star uncomfortable. i can and will block, if needed.

this is a side blog so unfortunately i cannot follow you back :( but - if you are also an ask blog - i can follow you on my willy blog ( @fishingwithwilly )

admin is @moonferry (he/they) and is 18! you can call me pip.

this is a sdv oc! sprites are edited by me (though i may have help sometimes)

we're here to be silly and have fun, ya know?

⭐ now for starry's likes and dislikes! ⭐

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ (loves): alex's magic hairgel, pizza, pickles, cheese, prismatic shards (& all other gemstones), ice cream, joja cola, midnight carp, sunflowers, pancakes, strawberries

ヾ(≧へ≦)〃(hates): spaghetti, carrots, fish taco, octopus (and all fish except midnight carp), all mushrooms, pumpkin pie, baked fish, stuffing, all cakes

tags:

#starry's jokes - jokes by yours truly!

#starry's chats - talking to other people~

#long rb / #reblog - reblogging interactions!

#samstar / #deathstar sdv / #starfish sdv - star being goofy with his people!~

#⭐ lore unlocked ⭐ - any lore or headcanons you've unlocked about the star man!

#⭐ insecurity unlocked ⭐ - things you've discovered that push starry's buttons (not in a good way)

#💛 star arts 💛 - art of star guy..

#💫 star angst 💫 - angst snippets

#star shenanigans - goofy guy being goofy / the "not asks" posts!

divider credit // x