#im losing time
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They need to study why getting out of the house is the hardest thing in the world to do
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I've never really understood how a special interest can be disabling before but I think I do now
#i cannot stop researching every little thing about the eras tour#and making things and planning outfits and stuff#like i fod i before for fun but this is gor rral and jts actually consuming my thoughts???#so much i keep forgetting to eat#im losing time#im lating here in bed trying to focus on anything else#a fanfiction. tumblr scrolling.#and find myself hvinf an eras tour thought and going straight to tiktok or google and getting into a spiaral#almost got to sleep at 11pm was gonna read a chapter before sleeping#then i had a thought about merch and now its 1:25am...#this is actually annoying and i want to stop pleae thank tou#its not anxiety its obsession#and it was fun at first bt i do have other things i need to do#if i were working id be soooooo distracted omg#i wouldnt be able to work with my brain like thos#flad i only got tickets a week before tbh#or i would have been a mess for weeks or months or god forbid all year#i already kinda was *without* a ticket#katy liveblogs life#okay i am forcing myself to read a chapter of a fic and then sleep#maybe i should change my music to Not Taylor Swift...
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when the. the. the 🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌
#wild life spoilers#wild life smp#traffic smp#trafficblr#impulsesv#i. ig im tagging the snails as their counterparts BAHSDHAHWHW#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#mumbo jumbo#grian#bdoubleo100#isdoodles#losing my mind. the whole time i was drawing this i just keep going this is so stupid BHAHDJWAEAHHEA I LOVE THEM
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i feel a bit trapped at the moment... my big adventure is just out of my grasp and the time keeps moving... i'm losing time... I'M LOSING TIME!
#i feel like im wondering with no purpose#im just lying in wait#waiting for something#waiting for anything#kind of aimless#lost#???#my big adventure is right there#but i cant quite hold it yet#time keeps moving#its moving too fast#im losing time#time#aimless#trapped#thoughts#my thoughts#fear#adventure#losing time#lost time
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distant memory
#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#joel smallishbeans#lizzie ldshadowlady#jizzie#my art#firstly yes i do watch hc10 im just fighting my uni and losing hopelessly atm#secondly did you ever think that secret life was the last time c!joel saw c!lizzie
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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HAPPY 117 EVERYONE ITS BUNGOVER ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#HORRIBLE TIME TO BE ALIVE RN#CANT WAIT FOR ASAGIRI TO MELT SOMEONE ELSE NEXT CHAPTER 🥰🥰🥰#KUNIZAI LOSING ON YAOI DAY WAS NOT ON 2024 BINGO CARD#im not tagging all of these fuckers#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd 117#lotus draws#THIS WAS SO RUSHED SRY FOR THE QUALITY 😭😭😭😭😭
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my ver of jeff :DD ill make a proper drawing of this ver of him soon hhgfj maybe do some hcs too idk
#ok lets hope and pray i can draw him more CONSISTENLY this time#or im gonna lose my shit#jeff the killer#creepypasta#fanart#jeffrey woods
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grom lumity redraw bc my school ball was on saturday^^ second slide was from 2020
#the owl house#toh#fanart#the owl house fanart#luz noceda#amity blight#lumity#im trying to practice drawing faster#i lose my mind everytime i spend a long time on stuff for it to not turn out the way i wanted :“)
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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lost child
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#i forgot to record the speedpaint :(#whatever im kinda proud if this one#anyone else thinks ab young siffrin right after the island dissappeared arriving in vaugarde with no knowledge of the language#of himself#or of how he ended up there#ever think about how scared and confused they mustve been#how it probably took them years to be able to communicate smoothly and be able to move freely#about how with the island not only did they lose their home and family and friends but also themselves#their personality#their language#EVERYTHING.#god siffrin u make me so sick i cant do this
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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i feel like im in a weird demographic when it comes to the percy jackson live action series because of the age i was when i read them. cause i read the lightning thief for the first time when i was in single digits, so percy being twelve seemed appropriately grown up. and then as i got further into the series and into heroes of olympus, percy got older with me, and was always kinda broadly my age or a little older. so like, the movie cast was too old when that happened, because they were way older than me. but now the series cast is actual twelve year olds (or so) and they are so obviously just little babies that im now forced to confront the fact that uhhh percy was in fact a fuckin child when all this started??? exCUSE ME???
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#boutta fight the gods myself on their behalf how can u look at their lil faces and think yeah im gonna kill them#anyway at least i have a couple months to come to terms with the inevitable passage of time and the skewed perspectives of childhood#before i lose my mind over the tv show in a completely different way
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chat is this anything
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#bakudeku#bkdk#dekubaku#dkbk#mha fanart#bkdk fanart#artists on tumblr#art#they match each other's freak to a frankly concerning degree. love wins!#im gonna lose my mind it looks like izuku's shirt says hrt LMAO 😭😭😭 for the record it says shirt but at a weird anglw#guys the mha voices are back again 😣😣#can u believe this is only the second time in my life that ive drawn bkdk even tho I've been a shipper since 2020#cryiling art
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so a few things
my brother and i have our rooms facing each other he recently got a mood light installed and he can change the color his favorite color is purple
which would normally be. FINE but every time i walk to my room its just been this
#get meout get me out hget me OUT. OF HEREEE.#i cant even tell him to change it cuz like what. im gonna make him stop using his favorite color. because of two dumb gay fuckheads#BUT LIKE FOR REAL EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME. I HAVE TO GO TO MY ROOM#ITS LIKE IM WALKING INTO FUCKING SHADWOPEACH CROSSROADS. FUCK#LIKE THAT MEME? THE ONE WITH THE GUY AT A FORKED PATH BETWEEN THE EVIL CASTLE AND SUNNY MEADOW?#THATS ME RN#my road not taken ass going thru it every fucking evening when i have to. WALK TO MY ROOM AND NOT SAY ANYTHING ABT IT#LOSING MY MIND#yapping#diary#doodles#shadowpeach#lmk#lego monkie kid
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based on this post that just absolutely killed me when i first read it wheezes
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#laius thorden#chilchuck tims#chilchack#sunnysidedraws#thanks starry for this idea they are very ahgfghdj#OK SO I HAVENT FINISHED THE MANGA YET but i love these guys hope i can draw em more once i get the time <3#suggestive text#im sorry that my first rendered drawing of them was a shitpost SGDJ#tbf my other idea was also . a shitpost so its like lose lose over here pftt#for the better right meme#sunnysidemeshi
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