#im like im fine im not bad enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rolling-wavves · 2 years ago

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My therapist I've been seeing for over 2 years diagnosed me with complex ptsd and I feel so weird about it because I'm like me ?? Trauma?? Don't know her !!!! Never happened!!

She's said she's thought this for a while and after I saw a psych who diagnosed me it just settled it for her like "ok finally". She's also already been telling me I've been through trauma even if I don't believe it.

Still!! Really having a hard time accepting this like...what. what. My life has been Totally Fine don't know what she's talking about!!!

Anyway I feel so weird and I'm rambling but idk what else to do with these feelings tbh

#im like shaking.#like i have other diagnoses ( mdd anxiety ocd and partially recovered ed??)#and i still don't even believe those #im like im fine im not bad enough #my symptoms aren't bad enough #i havent been abused or anyrhing im fine #and my therapist is like girl...you dont need to have been abused to have trauma #im feeling so many things #I feel fake and wrong and awful and validated?? but also lonely and strange like idk #please ignore me while i try to avoid my feelings at all costs but drowning myself in other obsessions #cptsd #complex ptsd #actually cptsd #??? i guess??#tw trauma #i guess #idk I feel so strange rn #my post #my psych met me and was like these symptoms dont come from nowhere so what happened to you #and i was like UMMM NOTHING???#also weird like i used to believe i had bpd/avpd (still a possibility imo)#but they are similar and i relate to cptsd but dont believe i have trauma so like !!!!!#idk man

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butchfalin · 1 year ago

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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blackbatcass · 7 months ago

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donna’s inherent honesty vs dick’s tendency to be manipulative.. speak to me

#dick grayson #donna troy #wonder twins #his manipulativeness being the thing about dick that most bothers donna #vs donna’s willingness to be honest about uncomfortable things being one of the things dick most admires about her..#!!!!!#like donna is just very emotionally honest in a way most heroes aren’t.#if she’s having a bad time and someone asks hey what’s wrong what’s going on. she will answer and be honest!! instead of giving #some bullshit ‘im fine :D’ response #meanwhile dick…… Does Not Do That #except with donna! one of the few people he trusts enough to feel comfortable confiding in!#they’re so!!

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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago

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if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying

(Wolverine (2020) #3)

#xmen #xmen comics #krakoa #magneto #ok fine logan can get a tag too. this IS his story after all ja/lkLAJVEAVKLJ #wolverine #snap scans #i should read the rest of this run but its like 47 issues i think so. gonna take some time with that #spliced up the panels so its easier to look at everything. and so i can frame drunk passed out erik on my wall #someone uploaded some of the first page some time ago but 1.) i forgot to rb it 2.) it didnt include the rest of the scene #it ESP didnt include erik fallin face first on the table and his lil sleepin face on the next page like please im gettin cuteness aggressio #im so miffed that these are printed on the same page cause i woulda framed this spread otherwise like PLEASE #this shit got me GIGGLING SO BAD i cant. 'dare i say it .......' he's so unnecessary i love him so much #he's so silly ..... also someone said it best in that whenever erik's drawn like a bug it's the best thing #like look at him. that's a beetle. that's my little beetle and i love him i need to put him in a terrarium and watch him #honestly theres a LOT of things i have scanned and wanna share however i have to do it. Reasonably so to speak #in that i dont want to accidentally drown out all my doodling with comic scans jvEALKVJEAKL #maybe i'll do it sandwich style ... art -> scan -> art -> scan etc etc #that does remind me i have a doodle i wanted to do today. so maybe ill do that and share another thing i got scanned ....#unfortunately i do very much love reading the comics. a troublesome thing cause theres so much i wanna share and talk about #like from this issue too i love how hank describes what charles' mutation feels like #its not a grand thing but i love it whenever charles' telepathy is described and how it effects him physiologically #maybe hank was just Theorizing what it feels like but still ... i love that insight so much .....#i'll share that quote another time- i prob won't scan the page cause it's just a text log but i will say it was from here dont worry #ok ive rambled long enough BYE im gonna go draw charles

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moeblob · 2 months ago

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Thank you, Mr Krabs.

#detroit become human #hank anderson #gavin reed #i just needed some hank practice doodles in before i actually tried to draw the thing i want to draw with him #bonus gavin because i can i guess and i felt bad that i left off the stubble in my other art sorry gavin #idk i dont think im strong enough to recover ever since i was telling someone one of hanks lines and her response #was about mr krabs and im like wait a flipping second..... ur right..... i.... oh #cause i havent heard him in so long it registered as familiar but im not used to the cussing and i straight up only ever watch one movie #so i dont think ive seen him in anything #im judging my own film intake rn you dont have to do that its fine i know its a flaw to only watch clue (1985)

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cerealmonster15 · 2 months ago

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jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot

SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]

unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ashenviper week 2024 #twisted wonderland #twst #jamiazu #ashenviper #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #cereal tries to draw #and boy did i try. JFKLDSJFLDSJG #i kinda shot myself in the foot deciding today on the day i STARTED WAY LATER #to be the day that i wanted to try shading in the tones lol #and then. picked the day i was doing stuff with a lot of dark black parts #with no color to balance out the similar tones jkLJFSDKLJFDKLJS #im not exactly good with tonal contrast and UNFORTUNATELY IT'S VERY APPARENT HERE TODAY SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY #whatever it's practice teehee. good enough is GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!#anyway i was gonna draw them looking more evil but i kinda ended up goin the route of like. evil while gay #as in kind of extremely obsessed w/each other in their toxic yaoi state idk #like i think if they overblot at the same time it woulda been over for us boys theyd be too strong #uniting the powers of hypnosis and blackmail and also the fine print. and gay. to take over the school and then probably the world #u probs gotta click full screen squint on this one bc if ucked it up stupid style theres too much dark lol #USUALLY I HAVE THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM I DONT GO DARK ENOUGH #[professor voice] youre kinda stuck in the midtones #well. this time i went mid/dark and forgot the light lol #if i had more time maybe i coulda done some like actual shading to round it out but I DONT WANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S LATE #AND IM SLEEEEPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #if drawing overblot details didnt kill me tho i think id like to draw them being overblot together more often lol i enjoy the concept #maybe if i can shorthand it or GO BACK TO MY BELOVED TINY GUYS #i spent the most time on this one of all the other drawings this week #tomorrow i do not anticipate ill spend as long on but #i was considerin the glomas outfits which are ALSO SCARY DETAILS AUGHHGHGH <- it's bc im bad at drawing. LOL

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doostyaudi · 4 months ago

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//suggestive images

Made these cuz uhm. Uhm. Im not sure actually. For funsies or something. Eroticisim of the machine or something idk im new here

God i am SO CRINGE but i am... Free?

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jasperyourmutt · 3 months ago

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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh

#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted #ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired #friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn #which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me #im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me #and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to #but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body #i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore #im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me #anyways.#i am a very good boy #yapping #if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage #jasperbarks

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tiptoethewordsgo · 4 months ago

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hello gravity falls tumblr, someone write a fanfic where the pines family have to break bill out of rehab to help defeat a greater evil and my life is yours

#i need this so bad im going insane #make an ongoing gag where bill gets tazed whenever he does anything too evil please #i would write it myself but i don’t think i could in a way that makes sense and is entertaining simultaneously #plus i am NOT creative enough to think of someone more evil than bill #it just sounds like it would be a fun read yk #whenever something bad happebs they all just assume it was bill and bill has to fight for his life to prove it wasn’t so he doesn’t go back #imagine bill and stan as a duo #would literally die for that #imagine a plot point where bill HAS to possess someone and everyone argues on who it should be #none of them really want bill to be in their heads obvi so they just r like #nooo pick me its fine you guyss while really hoping they do NOT get picked #it was gonna be stan but bills to traumatized to go back there #soos was the one who gave them the idea to free bill just because #i need to stop abusing the tags on this app #bill cipher #gravity falls #stanford pines #dipper and mabel #stanley pines #fanfic #fanfic ideas #tiptoethewordsgo

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 year ago

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IMAGINE. working at ur stupid uhhh job or whatever. pulling into your drive way and ready to work on some crazy project in your garage. opening the door to the most unfamiliar silence. did your wife and kid leave for something? could you imagine knocking on your kids door, hardly getting an answer, and opening it to find the splattered remains of your wife across his room your child is scared! hes hardly consolable, in a state of shock and terror. you are too, but youre the adult here. you need to take charge. you need to protect him. you need to do something. you need to do something.

#cw gore #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi pd spoilers #ashe winters #LOOOORRRD HELP ME THIS IS A YEAR OLD AND I HAAAATE LOOKIN AT IIITTTT ALL I CAN SEE ARE MY MISTAAAKESSS RRAAGHHHGGG ITS FINE THOUGH #ITS FIIIINE ITS ALL FIIIIIIINE!! IM HARSHER ON MY ART THAN ANYONE ELSE ITS FIIIIIINE IIITTSFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE #ANWYAY SO I THINK ALOT ABOUT THE FACT HE KILLED HIS MOM. FUUUUCKED UP. POOR GUY.. i wish i could learn more about what that day was like #the lil scenario wrote is my own silly little headcanon. but what really happened on that day? was mark there? or did he come home to it?#how violent was it really? was ashe awake the whole time? does he remember exactly how he killed her? does he remember?#who was mrs winters? what was she like? i like to think she was the one that gave ashe the book. taught him what she could before. yknow.#did ashe or mark try to destroy it afterwards? i could imagine mark throwing it into a fire. only for it to reappear with ashe #maybe ashe couldnt destroy it but i could imagine him hiding it. hiding away from it. and yet when we find him he holds it so close #its the only thing he can do! no super powers or anything. this was it. why would he ever throw away the only thing hes good at?#AND GOOD GOD MARK... TURNING TO MERCENARY WORK OVER IT ALL... SELLING HIS SOUL TO A LAbortory that changed him in immense ways #when did it get bad enough for him to start covering his face? what was ashe thinking? he knew his dad was up to something but what?#maRK HAS SUUUCH A CRAZY KILL COUNT TOO. I THINK THE HIGHEST IN THE SERIES IF WE'RE NOT LOOKIN AT THE GODS OR WATEV #MASS MURDER. MAN HAS COMMITTED MASS MURDER AND BROKE OUT OF SUPER VILLAIN PRISON WITH A PEN. MAN BUILDS IRON MAN SUITS IN HIS BASEMENT #OKay okay enough of my ramblin okayokay i just REALLY LOVE THIS SSHHOOOOWWW DUUUDEE EEUUGHTHTHHRHGHGH I LOVE THE WINTERS FAMILY...

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plulp · 1 year ago

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hey guys. remy design

#remy the farmer #dol #my art #sorry it took so long for me to make this #im watching live shows for one of my favorite music projects in the corner and i have to pause drawing to scream every 5 seconds #if i were in that crowd id be yelling. id faint. only but a dream to attend one of these #to the people that sent me another personality swap request also. i promise im not ignoring you but the one that said #''avery and eden swap would be a nightmare''#youre completely right. it is a nightmare. i cant think of anything #so if either of you have any more ideas or anyone else does then PLEASE help me im begging you all i can think of is ??? i dont know #i hope you guys like this remy though #i was worried about if it was good enough but special thanks to the people on my side account that told me it was fine #i posted fem remy there too if you want to see it #i think when i do fem vers of them all ill group them up because itll take me less time to make it since ill already have the design basis #and also i feel bad for spamming you guys #actually would you prefer i keep posting them one by one or should i post them all at once? for these designs #i feel bad posting separately because that means the people who rb my posts reblog like 10 separate design posts in a row :(#and i dont want them to spam their blogs because of me #but i do really really appreciate it when i see someone do that in my notifs :) so thank you a lot if you do #and also thank you to everyone who leaves tags i read each and every one of them obsessively like a freak #this is getting too long im going to hit the tag limit at this rate #ill try to work on the avery eden thing again #see you all later :)

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squidsmeister · 2 months ago

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my truest most honest conspiracy theory that I fully 100% believe is that they put Scott and Courtney together in tdas 1. because they needed a romance between two characters from different seasons and those were literally the only two they could’ve picked because every single other woman was in a relationship and out of lightning Scott and Cameron it’s unfortunately predictable they’d pick Scott and 2. they wanted to downplay the extremely lesbian activities Courtney and Gwen were getting into by going But Look She Likes Scott (even though she really only thought about him passively AND EVEN ADMITTED SCOTT WAS SO GROSS GWEN WOULD NEVER STEAL HIM FROM HER)

#Scott and Courtney are two high ranking members of my top 5 best td characters of all time #but my god. their relationship was just so bad #Scott liking her is.. fine I don’t have anything against it #I’m just saying if he likes women in charge there were certainly plenty of those in tdas #they should’ve straight up been like. he thinks she’s pretty THAT WOULDVE BEEN MORE THAN ENOUGH #but Courtney liking him feels so #1. relapsing into liking a ‘bad boy’ except Scott isn’t even a charming bad boy she had chemistry with he is litersllu #and I cannot emphasize this enough #just some fucking guy #some guy who she thinks is kind of annoying and gross and smells bad #but if he is so gross that no one will take him from her she will happily accept that #like she is traumatized and going for men she believes pees outside AND ON THEIR SHOES #AND IM SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE. THIS IS WHO SHE WANTS #four white claws deep on a Sunday at 1am will have you thinking deeply and critically about total drama island

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isamovingon · 3 months ago

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