#im laying in my bed rn and its all hitting me
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I'm soooo happy to have a place on my own y'all don't understand. This is genuinely such a huge highlight for me. I'm so happy and excited I can't wait to have a place I'm allowed to exist. This is such a game changer
#im laying in my bed rn and its all hitting me#this is mine#this is my home#this is where i live now#im allowrd to be myself here#im so so so happy#this is probably the happiest ive been in a long long time#monnie rambles
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FIRST AID
where he didnt believe you, but thanks to your friends. hes here now.
pair : riki x fem!reader
request : from my bby @dioll >< she gave this beautiful idea to me
warnings : injuries , kissing
you have been at home all day. laying on your bed and wallowing in sheer pain.
your mind was spiraling and you needed someone, no.. you needed him. just him. here with you. so you decided you would text him.
you : riks ... im hurt :( can you come over?
you say there for a moment as you stared at your phone with anticipation burning inside of you. and then.. ding!
riks 💕 : your funny 😂 im on the game rn yn im not coming cause of your silly prank to cuddle me.
huh? a prank? thats what he thinks this is?
you huffed and threw your phone in frustration. here you were, your knee bruised and you can barely move and need your boyfriend here with you. but guess what? he thinks this is a joke.
hours had passed and you were sleeping soundly , a protective pillow under your knee to keep it from hurting even more.
unbeknownst to you, a certain someone had walked inside your house. his footsteps soft as he opened your door quietly.
he took in your laid out body and sighed. he was guilty for not believing you at first and thinking it was a prank. but thank god your friends had texted him about it.
he walked to the bed and placed a bag next to your side that was full of snacks.
he climbed in the bed beside you , careful to not hit your bruised knee and not to wake you. he admired your sleeping face and had a urge to touch you.
rikis touch was gentle and caring. he swiped a loose hair from your face and smiled softly. until, he saw you stir and your eyes starting to open as you whimpered.
"shh.. it's okay. its just me." he said in his deep and soothing voice. your eyes fell on him and before you could speak he did before you.
"im sorry baby.. i thought you were joking. but your not.." he said as he pressed a kiss on your forehead. "but im here now.. so go back to sleep and ill stay with you.. i also got you snacks so you can eat those when your up yeah? sweet dreams.."
written by @sjyunnsworld DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE.
taglist: @k1ttylvr @cupidscourt @jakesangel @won4kiss (send ask to be added)
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second hand smoke is fucking me up rn -
im hearing Luca ~ just soft like omg I love you sex
You’re Everything|| Luca Fantilli
• pairing: Luca Fantilli x Emma (aka the one and only Mrs. Hischier)
• summary: soft sweet sex with Luca
• warnings: SMUT! unprotected p in v sex (wrap before you tap!) hair pulling, some praise, luca being hot and sweet af, i think that’s all-
a/n: THIS IS FOR MY BESTIE...its mrs. hischiers bday!!! go show her some love, send her some pics of her men, its her day<3 i love you so much @emaanemaa🤍
Luca placed his hand on your thigh with a smirk plastered on his lips. His long, skilled fingers slowly trailed up your tummy before eventually resting on the side of your left breast. He reached around your back with one hand, unclasping your bra with ease. The black lace material fell from your chest, leaving you fully exposed for your boyfriend. You blushed as you saw Luca looking over your naked body laying underneath him. You were starting to grow bashful as his hazel eyes stayed glued to your figure. You tried to cover your most intimate areas from him, but Luca gently grabbed your wrists and shook his head.
It's not like he hasn't seen you naked before, but something about this specific time with Luca had you feeling a bit self conscious of you and your body.
"Don't." he said sternly, pulling your hands away from your bare breasts. HIs lips curled into a sultry smile. "There's no need to be shy, sweeheart. You look absolutely gorgeous."
Luca pulled his boxers down his long legs and threw them to the side of the bed with the rest of yours and his clothes. Your eyes fell to Luca's impressive erection. Lust filled your eyes as you eyed him, his doing the same as he eyed you. Luca leaned down to capture your lips in a soft, sensual kiss before he proceeded to ask that one question he always asked you during times like this.
"Is this OK?"
You nodded harshly, not able to wait anymore for the feeling of Luca inside you. Luca hovered over you, his chain dangling over your face as he gently grabbed your hand. He entwined his hand with yours, holding it as he kissed you with passion. Luca pulled away and lined his pelvis up with your entrance before carefully inserting himself into your dripping core. Luca thrusted into you, causing you to whine and make your hips jerk upwards at the sensation.
"O-Oh!" you gasped out at the pleasurable feeling of your boyfriend, "Fuck Luca."
Luca used a hand to grip your hips, trying to control your movements every time he trusted into you. Your nails clawed feverishly at his back as his thrusts grew more sensual and even deeper. You whimpered as Luca's cock pushed against your cervix, hitting that spot only he was able to achieve. You were overcome with a feeling of pleasure, something you hadn't felt in a while considering your boyfriend was away for a series of away games. Arching your back, you moaned out Luca's name as you grew overstimulated.
"Luca," you whimpered, making the boy above you groan. You bit back your moans as you continued. "S' too," you breathed out, "mhm, much."
"You can take it, beautiful." Luca grunted. He knew both of you were needy and deprived of eachothers touch; however, he made sure to be gentle with you. Luca was always gentle with you.
Your breathing picked up as you brought your hands up to Luca's head that was buried in the crook of your neck, sucking softly at the skin. You pulled on the strands of his messy head of dirty brown hair. Luca buried his face further into your neck, groaning softly. The vibration of his groan against your skin made your body jolt with pleasure. Both of your bodies molded together perfectly. It was like you were meant to be together, moving in perfect sync with the others movements.
You moaned as Luca picked up the pace of his thrusts. He took a hand away from your hips and grabbed your other hand. Luca was now holding both of your smaller hands in his as he made love to you.
"You're so beautiful." He said under his breath, "Taking me so well."
"Oh Luca," you moaned, your face contorting into that look of pleasure your boyfriend loved dearly. A bead of sweat trickled down Luca's forehead as he let out a grunt.
"God Emma," he said through gritted teeth as your walls clenched around his length, "you feel so good."
Your chest harshly heaved up and down as your breathing grew quicker with each thrust of his hips. You felt a familiar warmth pool in your belly. You were getting close.
"I'm so close." You whined as Luca thrusts sped up. He squeezed your hands gently as he kissed you passionately. Both of your moans filled Luca's bedroom as his hips pressed against yours.
"Luca," you whimpered into your boyfriend, "I'm gonna-mmh.” you moaned incoherently. Making Luca smirk as his chest heaved right along with yours.
"That's it," Luca grunted as he urged you to finish, "cum for me, sweets."
Luca moaned as your walls tightened around him, signaling that you were very close to coming down from your high. Within moments, you cried out in complete bliss as you came on your boyfriends cock. Luca's grip on your hands tightened as your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you were overcome with pleasure. Luca grunted as he thrusted into you a couple more times before he himself came. The two of you were now glistening and sticky with sweat. He leaned down and kissed your plump lips as you both caught your breath and came down from your high. Luca pulled away from your lips and rested his forehead on yours as you both recovered from your orgasm. Once Luca's breath evened out he pulled out of you and plopped down on the bed next to you
"That was amazing." you breathed out, chest still heaving. Luca chuckled, "You were amazing as always Emma." He leaned in to place a sweet kiss to your lips. Pulling away he loving gazed at you as he spoke, "The best I've ever had."
You blushed at his words. Luca always knew how to make you feel good. Luca opened his arms and gestured for you to come closer to him. You moved yourself closer to his body and curled up against him. You laid your head on Luca's chest as he draped his left arm around you and pulled the comforter over your naked bodies. You sighed in contentment as you listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
"I love you so much Luca."
"I love you more, pretty girl. You’re everything.”
hi loves!!
this is for my bestie, my platonic soulmate, one of the best writers on this app, the girl who made me buy lingerie and supports all my delulu: @emaanemaa. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!! i hope you have the best day ever. i love you so much🤍🤍
i hope you all enjoyed this! this is my first time ever writing about luca, so i hope it was good for all you luca lovers ;)
more fics coming soon! as always, thank you for your love and support. you all mean so much to me☺️
#luca fantilli#luca fantilli imagines#luca fantilli blurbs#luca fantilli smut#luca fantilli x oc#hockey blurbs#hockey smut#umich hockey#HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA🤍
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Your live to indulge. You eat enough for two by lunch and a family's worth of dinner. You bulging and overfed body hasn't a clue where to store kilojoules that it'll never use. But sleep is the only rest that it gets from overeating.
We enjoy the results. There's no other way to grow a soft round belly that begs for rubs. It ensures that your sprawling thighs bounce with the few steps that you take. Your figure is plushy and voluptuous, as every goddess of gluttony should be.
But that not enough, is it? Your stomach might groan and complain, but you never fill it enough. We want to see the belly around it droop lower and lower as Earth itself plays with its growing mass.
Perhaps your gluttony will have less desirable consequences. But all things end anyways. You should enjoy your ride while it lasts.
This is so sensual and…beautiful??? Like im getting horny but im also really just emotionally into this vibe 😭 thanks for sending me this this is so juicy and good 🥺🖤 im literally laying in bed rn waiting for my doordashed wingstop to show up and of course its like 2500 calories of food lmao.
And yesterday I had a 3k calorie stuffing and ended up hitting about 5k for the day. Hoping to do that again today 💅
“Your figure is plushy and voluptuous, as every goddess of gluttony should be.” Is gonna stick with me 🥹🥹🖤✨
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https://www.tumblr.com/thenickgirl/751115062706569216/i-need-nick-sturniolo-to-dick-me-down-rn-like-i?source=share
Im a different annon pookie
Icl im writing straight to the action
I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS THE READER SO I KEPT USING HIS MAN IM SORRY ITS SO REPETATIVE
Nicks tounge slidinf into his mouth small wimpers and whines escaping his mans lips into his own slowly reaching down to palm him trough his jeans while using his other hand to pull his hair back to deepen the kiss
Finally nicks hand reaches his mans dick palming slowly and painfully his man whines in dissatisfaction begging him to speed up without actually talking nick smurks on his mans lips as he pulls away "such a needy boy arent you" smirking as his man whines hinting him to continue he reaches and wraps his arms around nicks neck again pulling him into a messy needy kiss as he slowly pushes nick back on the bed so he is on top
Pulling away his man waits not even a second to start unbuckling nicks pants to get to the good stuff. Finaly taking his jeans off his man notices the patch off pre cum on is boxers reaching for his waistband and pulling them down to his thighs
Nicks dick hits his stomach as his man is basicly drooling at the sight of his cock just needing it quickly moving his head down to nicks dick and wrapping his plup lips around nicks tip and slowly starts bobbing his head up and down using his tounge occasionally nicks low groans and moans fill the room his man cups nicks balls gently playing with them and massaging them in his hand nicks back archces loud moans escaping his mouth
He grabs his mans head before he cums and smashes their lips together taking his prior position over his man taking his jeans and boxers off while their tounges dance and harshly grabbing his dick and pumping his hand up and down as he uses the other to put his man so his chest is on the pillow and allining his dick with his mans entrance and pushing in harshly
Slamming his hips into his man nick uses his other hand to pull him up to his chest to depeen the fuck and speed up still pumping his man and holding his throat tightly his man barly even able to say nicks name is moaning uncontrollably whines wimers and moans from his man groans and occasional moans from nick and the clapping of skin could be heard throughout the whole house the room smelt like sex and his man released all over nicks hand without warning but a loud moan nick not slowing down slams his mans face into the pillow speeding up is hips more going at an impossible speed nick starts to get sloppy and slow down and cums inside his man
Pulling out nick lays next to his man and gently pulls him into a hug and they both drift off to sleep
HELP IM SORRY IDK HOW TO WRITE ENDINGS
oh my god avahdjdvdjcbefjk i need a minute
#nonnie 🎀#answered#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo x male reader
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hey pookster i’m just leaving this here because I know you’d do justice if you ever made it into a minific :3
kaveh absolutely LOVES horror/creepy things, especially when regressed, but alhaitham can’t do it. like CANNOT.
sincerely, 🐠fishie anon :3
OH MY GODS ANON YOURE SAVING MY WRITERS BLOCK RN (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ) im gonna try and write a quick minific in hopes that itll make me wanna post more and work on my bots. ALSO TY FOR THINKING SO HIGHLY OF ME- i feel like my writing is mid but ill try my best for this silly idea (its super late as of replying to this so sorry if its a bit jumbled or doesnt make sense-)
(fic under cut)
Kaveh was supposed to be in bed hours ago. 5 hours and 38 minutes, to be persice. Alhaitham had been counting. He did everything he though would work to get Kaveh to finally lay down, close his eyes, and rest, but nothing was working. Warm bottle, bedtime stories (he had read 7 different stories at this point), and even trying different stuffed animals and pajamas. Nothing. Alhaitham was exhausted.
“Hayi? Do da tree birdies sleep? Wha’ about… Oh! Wha’ about da creepy crawlies in da kitchen?” Kaveh had been asking nonsense questions like these all night, part of the reason he was still awake at nearly 4 in the morning.
“I dont know, Kaveh. What I do know-… Wait, whats in the kitchen?” Alhaitham began to answer before he registered what kaveh had said. He sat up in the bed a little bit and looked down at Kaveh. “What did you just say is in the kitchen?”
“Da creepy crawlies!” Kaveh excitedly exclaimed, a wide smile forming behind his pacifier. “Dey have 6 leg, 3 eye- BIG eyes, and are really teeny tiny. Dey walk around in da dark and eat da bread! Dats why it has all da holes.” Kaveh started giggling, his tiredness clearly showing in his speech.
Alhaitham felt puzzeled. More than when he was trying to figure out why Kaveh wasnt sleeping yet. But what was getting to him the most was the though of some spider-like creatures crawling around in his food while he didnt look. He shuddered, the thought of bugs in general making him feel gross. He rubbed up and down his arms for a moment, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, before pressing further into this. Surely it was Kaveh just being silly… Right?
“How do you know this? Who told you about these… ‘Creepy crawlers’?” Alhaitham asked as he tried to fight the tiredness in his mind. This whole talk took a turn that was not helping his already fatigued state of mind.
“Dey told me! I got mad ‘cause my sandwich had holes, and I asked and dey told me.” Kaveh explained trough slurred giggles and mumbles. “Dey very small, so is easy to make holes. I scolded dem like you always do for da holes…” The more Kaveh explained, the more Alhaitham imagined a ton of ant-sized abominations crawling around their pantry. He shook his head and tried not to gag.
“Kaveh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ‘creepy crawlers’ arent real. You probably dreamt about them at some point.” Alhaitham tried to explain to Kaveh, but Kaveh didnt seem to want to believe it.
“What?!” He sat up in the bed with Alhaitham, jaw dropping and his pacifier almost falling out. “But.. But dat were so cute-“ He felt himself tearing up over the fact that the little creatures he thought were so adorable werent actually real. Alhaitham sighed, realizing that now he had to deal with a meltdown.
“How about you go to sleep so you can dream about them? Does that sound like a good idea?” He suggested as he tried to coax Kaveh into laying down again. The poor baby was so tired at this point he didnt realize that Alhaitham was moving him. It did seem to stop his oncoming waterworks, however.
Kaveh gave a small nod and snuggled back up with Alhaitham. It seemed like as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was in a deep sleep. That baffled Alhaitham. How in the world would Kaveh be so willing to dream about thousands- No, millions of little spiders in his food? If Alhaitham saw them, he would already have a match in hand to burn the house down.
However, Kavehs great big imagination never failed to impress Alhaitham. He just seemed to show it so much more whenever he regressed. A soft sigh came from Alhaitham, just accepting it. His little Kaveh would just have that sort of creepy imagination and he couldnt stop it… But he would still be checking the entire house for bugs when they woke up. No ‘creepy crawlers’ get to live rent free.
#sfw interaction only#genshin agere#agere genshin#agere sfw#sfw agere#🐠 anon#i am hayi rn. half awake and questioning anything my inner kaveh rambles about /silly#i did not proof read this SORRY
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hai ariiiiii :3 guess whos SICK . me . im sick
ANYWAY thinking abt sugubooboo taking care of u while sick ,,,,,,,,
u kno when u get that feeling ur gonna b sick in the morning the night b4 it all hits ? i think sugu picks up on that after u blow ur nose one 2 many times n he asks if ur okay
ur not. obviously . so he heats up some nice peppermint tea, and something my mom does when im sick is take some honey, mix it w ginger powder + some other stuff thats good 4 ur throat and make me eat a spoonful of it [its gross as HELLLL i hate it but i feel a lil better afterwards] then tucks u in2 bed [later after uve fallen asleep he calls out of work for tomorrow, he REFUSES to leave u alone + sick]
the next morning ur properly Sick and suguru wakes u up w breakfast in bed, all warm foods infused with clove, mint, ginger, and sets a few packs of tissues next 2 the bed
after uve eaten he lays in bed w u 4 a bit, kissing your head and fiddling w ur hands. eventually u ask abt work, he said he called out 4 both u n him.
he trusts u 2 take a shower on ur own, but when u get out hes holding a towel and wraps u in it immediately then just hovers around u as u do ur morning routine, making sure youre okay n not abt 2 like . pass out or smthn
once ur dressed and fully cocooned in the bed once again, suguru pours out some cold medicine 4 u and hands u water once that NASTY liquid slides down ur throat. he gives u a lil candy as a palate cleanser tho, hes not mean
i think after that u just fall in and out of sleep 4 teh rest of the day until u get hungry again or need another dose of medicine. sometimes u wake up 2 suguru humming and playing w ur hair while he reads a book, sometimes he joins u and takes a nap w u. the only time u wake up alone is when its lunch or dinner n hes in the kitchen making smthn spicy 2 open ur sinuses
everytime u take a dose of medicine, he kisses you on the lips then pushes a glass of water in one hand n some candy in the other. hed probably mumble 'good job' or smthn like that in2 the top of ur head as he cuddles u while ur trying 2 get the taste out of ur mouth
he does NOT care if u sneeze n get snot all over him, puke on him if u have a stomach bug, cough in his face, or r generally disheveled. u could never disgust him.
if its sunny out, hell offer 2 take u outside just 4 a lil bit. if u dont think u can walk hes gonna pick u up. no complaining u NEED that sun, hell argue while sliding the patio door open
youll sit out 4 a bit, soaking up the sunshine then when u want 2 go back 2 bed hell carry u back and gently tuck u in2 bed
if ur 2 weak 2 even blow ur nose, hes holding the tissue 2 ur nose n waiting 4 u 2 blow. the chapstick might b all the way across the room n ur savior ends up being suguru and his long legs. the temp in the house is 2 hot? hes turning the a/c down and all the fans r coming 2 ur room bcuz he knows how slow the heating n cooling takes 2 change.
also everytime he walks in2 the room, hes asking how r u? do u need anything? does anything hurt too much? and he probably has smthn 4 u 2 do so ur not on ur phone all day [guess . guess who was on their phone all day . ME]
at the very end of the day, hes got u curled up in his lap on the bed, INCREDIBLY comfortable, and theres some movie on the tv in the bedroom. like juno or some other feel good indie movie. sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries. since its past dinner time, he gives u lil candied ginger pieces 2 help w ur throat n other snacks 2 go w the movie.
eventually u fall asleep in his arms in the middle of the movie, smothered in warmth on all sides.
OKAY . WOW . moving on, HOW WAS UR DAY ARI ??? tell me abt that book ur reading rn !! u seem very enthusiastic abt it, id luv 2 know y ^_^ ! [personally my day was . ouchie . and ive got a book abt decolonialism checked out from the library rn :3]
ASHLEY !!!!!!!!! i’m answering this kinda late i hope your cold is gone by now 😔😔😔
BUT . GODDDDDDDDDD ARE YOU OUT TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BE HONEST . how did you know sugu sickfics are my greatest weakness………… (i actually have . a whole fic just like this that i wrote a year ago or so 😭😭 YOU MADE ME WANNA GO BACK N READ IT HHHH this is very bad for my weak suguloving heart….) I’M JUST. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAYY. you keep serving me meals on a silver platter n i’m just?!?!! eating gratefully …. thank you……
NO BC YOU’RE SOOOOO RIGHT YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT :((((((( HE’S. THE SWEETEST. the best bf around !!!!!! he’s so good at caring for you when you’re sick…. sniffle……. AND OFCCCC HE’D PICK UP ON IT INSTANTLY TOO. his sixth sense is so crazy accurate when it comes to his baby </33333 and wahhh him making you tea and tucking you in and calling in sick for you 🥺🥺🥺 he just wants you to feel better……
WAKING YOU UP . W BREAKFAST IN BED. WHAT IF I CRYYYYY THIS CONCEPT IS SO DEAR TO MY HEART ASHLEY ….. and him just. hovering around you. i feel like he would stand outside the bathroom while you shower just in case you were to fall over or smth…….. he’s so caring :(((( and wrapping you up in a towel…… cocooning you into bed. sniffle. i need him to baby me sooooo bad it’s not a want it’s a need …… he rlly would stay by your side the Whole time………… cooks for you and tends to you and makes sure you’re okay . he’s so good. i feel like he kind of really loves it too….. he doesn’t love that you’re sick BUT . he loves being allowed to take care of you :’3 loves making you feel better.
ALSOOO him kissing you and praising you whenever you take your medicine T_T oughhhhhhhh one kiss on the forehead + ”good girl/boy” from him and i would be OUT like a light. collapsed. fainted. he would be so good at coaxing you into taking it ……… ANDDDDD the part abt you never disgusting him. SO true. you could never ever disgust him he just wants you to be okay…….. forcing you out into the sunlight………… asking if you need anything……………. making sure you aren’t bored…………………. ohhhhh he’s 2 perfect we need to put him down.
sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries.
AND THEN . YOU TOP IT OFF WITH THIS. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ THIS MADE ME MELT….. i’m so…………. i have so many thoughts abt this. sugu would LOVE a clingy s/o but i keep specifically thinking of him w an s/o who’s shy w physical affection.,,,, and how he’d react when they get sick and suddenly get all cuddly . 🥺 he would love it so much. kisses you all over and holds you soooo tight and he’s just!!!!! so enamored!!!!!!!!! you’re like a lil koala. he loves you. sob.
WAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ABSOLUTE MEAL MY BELOVED i’m not exaggerating btw this is gonna feed my sugu thoughts for weeks to come…… AND MY DAY WAS GOOD!!!! i’m sorry to hear your day was ouchie </3 i hope it’s all better now!!! pls make sure to rest and eat properly <33 it’s what sugu would want for you!!!!!
AND . THE BOOK. YES. it’s called giovanni’s room by james baldwin and it’s sooooo <33333 yeah. it’s so good. i LOVE baldwin’s prose so much??????? and the story is just . AUGH. i’m still not finished but i’m so obsessed. it’s basically abt a closeted guy in like … the 1800s-1900s? who goes on vacation in paris while his girlfriend is in spain. and he meets this rlly mysterious charming italan barman called giovanni……….. the book is abt their relationship + their own experiences w homosexuality + their tragic ending (it’s revealed at the very beginning of the book that giovanni will meet his end by the guillotine)…..
so it’s just . yeah. it’s such a gorgeous book :’3 and just so . idk. raw? visceral?? i love giovanni a lot. and more than anything i loves james baldwin <333 i’m planning to buy another of his books too!!!! it’s called tell me how long the train’s been gone :3 I RLLY RECOMMEND BOTH OF THEM!!! i hope the book you just got ends up being good too <33
#MWAH one big forehead kiss for you!!!#thank you again for this i’m slurping all ur sugu thoughts up through a big straw :333#sniffleeee i love him so much………#pls take care of yourself!!!!!! 😭 i’m chasing your sickness away w a pitchfork…. hopefully it’s all gone now tho…………#sending you allllll my coziest vibes <3333#ask tag ✩#ashley !! ✩
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Life sucks and then you die - obmana
sorry for not posting or like... doing anything
I got a Nintendo switch for my birthday so I started only playing animal crossing and Splatoon 3 instead of drawing or writing
THEN I got hit with a bad flu or something that took me out for a week (im still suffering from symptoms) and all I could do was lay in bed. my entire family is suffering rn and my entire workplace. (its not covid so idk)
I was planning on focusing on artfight all month but NOPE!
I'm writing this at almost 6 am, I haven't slept. none of this could make sense but idc
will post art and stuff about artificially organic whenever I feel like my brain stops being soup
#jaxangel06#brian is soup#brain*#yeah brian from the hit tv show is soup now#k bye#i should delete this later#comment if you think im fuckign insane
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BROOO JAEMIN GET BEHIND ME I WILL FIGHT ANYONE FOR YOU AND YOUR CAT (even tho my dog wont let me bc she doesn’t like the smell of other animals on me 😔 BUT I’LL TRY)
also thank you for the new update 😋🫶🏼 EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU BEFORE I CRAWL OUT UNDER YOUR BEDS WITH A MASK ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 😋😋😋
and yesss there are gendered words in Spanish for example “la foto” (the picture) is feminine “la mano” (the hand) is feminine, “el programa” (the program) is masculine, “el planeta” (the planet) is masculine. so the word “la” leans more towards femininity. for example: “la mujer” (the woman). “el” leans more towards masculinity. for example: “el hombre” (the man)
(also, its not easy for me to explain it 😭 but again, I’m here if it’s confusing 🫡)
and about my writingggg, i just started the series, im writing another piece of writing, im finishing one, and i just came up with another… my brain doesn’t stop 😭 that’s why i spend my time readinggg (also i read these two other books this week and so good)
but AGAIN i will literally take haechan in a fist fight i can do it guys swear! I throw hands (no I don’t) and I can do it (no I can’t) AND I GOT THIS (i’ll leave it you guys)
- 🫧
(also bella just posed for me on my digital camera and she looks like a doll/stuffed animal 😭 I guess that tired her bc she’s sleeping rn)
me fr because i’m the biggest cat person and jaemin has the cutest cats fr, anyways yasss that’s gonna be it for now i’ll try and make some of the new chaps soon 😝
its not confusing i surprisingly understand it, so if someone were to type something and started it with la you would be able to immediately tell they’re a woman? or am i wrong..
OH YOURE BUSYYY plsss how are you gonna handle all that at the same time 😭 have you decided what you’re gonna focus on? and maybe give us a little sneak peak 👀 the way i came up with a new fic idea too, WERE JUST SO FULL OF CREATIVITY!!
LMFAOOOOOO EXACTLY I (most non confrontational person ever) will beat his ease if he doesn’t stop (i would never lay a hand on a person cos i’m too scared) he better watch it 😒
ALSO OMGGG YOU JAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA?? i’ve been wanting one for ages, i feel like taking pictures on those just hits different, i bet the picture came out looking super duper cute aaweee, i was gonna say that you should show me but idk if you can even send digital camera pics to your phone or anything like that
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what if i laid my head in kage's lap and took a snooze wehehe (also WOOO im so excited for the server!! if you need help setting it up lmk :3c i have experience running servers)
(THANK YOU FOR OFFERING AND THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SET IT UP I APPRECIATE YOU GREATLY!! EVERYONE ELSE IN THE SERVER RN AS WELL, THANK YOU ALL!!)
It had been a long and exhausting day at work and you were ready to just hit the hay. You walk through the front door of Kage's apartment, ready to lay in your comfortable shared bed.
"Mc? W-was work bad today?" Kage asked as soon as you walked in and he saw your face.
"Mmmm, just long. We got SWARMED today with hangry customers." You removed your shoes and hung up your coat.
"Mmm. I made some dinner, if you want any." Kage offered you a sympathetic smile.
"mmm, ramen again?" You chuckled slightly, not even minding that you guys had ramen every day.
"Heheh, it's my specialty?" Kage chuckled awkwardly before handing you a bowl. "You can take it if you want, or you could go straight to bed." Sleepily you take the bowl from them. "C'mon, lets go to the couch. Its better then those uncomfy dining room chairs." Kage pulls you gently to the couch and sits you down, settling down next to you. The two of you sit and eat in a comfortable silence while eating and then Kage finishes first. He sets his bowl on the table in front of you two and relaxes back into the couch, fiddling with his hoodie sleeves. You finish up shortly after and place your bowl down as well. "A-alright, ready to head to beAH!" His sentence is cut short by you resting your head on his lap. You're so tired and don't wanna move and Kage's comfortable looking lap just happens to be there. He tenses up, trying to stay as still as possible as to not wake you up. When you do wake up, apologize for giving him a sleepless night and sore muscles.
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Nighttime routine
So my routine is always kind of evolving. I pick and choose things that I think will make my days or nights better. Currently I have FALLEN off the bandwagon. But we can get back on together. Its time for my nighttime routine so lets get a run down.
◈Nightshift Nighttime Routine◈
◈First thing I do when I get home is to make sure everything I need for the next day is all where it needs to be. Work badge, airpods, pens, making sure my backpack has no dishes from dinner in it.
◈Next thing Im going to do is make some breakfast. I try to go with something more carby before I go to bed. I feel like it helps me sleep. Im not a serial calorie counter but I do weigh out most of my meals to keep them somewhat uniform.
◈Then Im going to hit the shower. or not. depending on how the night went. I know that is a serious offense to our that girl community. But sometimes I am tired. I showered last night so I am good. I will wash my face and brush my teeth before I go to bed.
◈By the time i am getting ready to go to sleep my boyfriend is waking up so around 7am. I throw on some pjs and we go into the kitchen to talk for a minute. I make sure to take my nighttime medicine and then i go and lay down.
Like I said sometimes my routine looks a little different. Sadly, my sleep schedule is mega fucked rn so I am going to stay up for a while and do some house stuff that really needs to be done.
I think in a few weeks im going to do another nighttime routine. Hopefully I will be on a better routine and we can go into more detail about it:)
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guys...i am cooking up a STORM 😼 (but im getting stuck again </3)
so the other night i was laying in bed and bam i suddenly remembered a piece of writing i made aggggesss ago. literally i think i started it last year or smth. like everything else ive ever written, it was just an unfinished, long-lost short story that would never see the light of day, until i suddenly recalled it randomly! since that night (i think like 3 days ago or smth) thats all ive been focussing on, and for once, im actually so proud of my work and what ive written.
and get this, ive been working on it so consistently that ive actually gotten so close to finishing it. im literally THISSS CLOOSEEE!!! to finnishing it. well kind of, but im definitely almost done, and i wanna finish it so bad, but i thin the writers block is hitting me, and it always finds the worst moments to hit u. its so annoying. i will not be able to sleep and live properly until i for once finish what ive started, so if i dont find a way to get this stupid short story done any time soon, i will lose my mind. and its not that i dont have any ideas--i do, i pretty much know what i want to happen next, but yk sometimes when u have an idea but just dont knnow how to translate it from an idea in ur brain into words onto paper? yeah. thats whats going on w me rn. its the actual worst 😿
and rq, another problem is that sometimes i feel like im rewriting/reusing a lot of the same words and things....idk if that makes sense, but i feel like i run out of words and just get kind of repetitive. word hippo (a thesaurus) is literaelly my best friend but i still have trouble finding good words </3 i tihnk im just really picky or dont know if a word will sound right in the sentence?? idk if that makes sense
im supposed to be working on the little scenario/short story/piece of writing, whatever u wanna call it rn, before i go to sleep, but im still kind of just drawing a blank and its the worst! im kinda feeling a little confident since im pretty happy with what ive came up with for this story, so i MIIIGHTTT post it on here, but to sumarise it, its basically a confession scene between my oc and her love interest. theyre super cute, like for once i came up with a really sweet and healthy ship/couple/whatever :3 (it sucks tho bc theyre kind of doomed by the narrative, they only get to be bf/gf for one month before my oc needs to move away to a new town and ditch her bf >:3) so yeah i love them! and so help me god if i dont get this finished i will lose it
wish me luck >:(
#ocs#writing#writers block#why is writing so annoying sometimes#its like my brain is against me </3#ive got the song zombie stuck in my head#writer#idk how to get the flow going again
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"You're too young to let the world break you" is REALLY hitting me rn.
Not to victimize myself, but life hasn't been so kind to me. Although most of my biggest problems are now in the past, they've left everlasting effects on me. Was homeless & physically abused. Now I have to be in control of money. Even if its not mine. Can't tell if its just a fear of older men or maybe just my dad. Hell maybe not either. Just this uneasy feeling around them. Now I got an eating disorder, have to harm myself so I don't harm others, 2 felonies, ankle monitor, anger issues, sleep issues, and all that other shit which is probably caused by my own mental health. Hate this shit so much. I hate living. I can't kill myself bc I have some things I'd rather enjoy than die, but if I were to somehow end up in a bad situation, I'd let it kill me. Like that time I lit all that shit on fire in my apartment. Literally couldn't breath but I just layed down with my music playing and closed my eyes. Until the cops found me ofc. Hate this all. Please kill me. Let me rest. There are ppl who have it WAY worse than I do, and they're just living on. I have few problems compared to them yet I can't even handle getting out of bed. It just shows how weak I am. I am too weak to go on. Please just kill me and let me rest. If I can't manage simple things like leaving my bed and home or eating properly, doesn't that just show that its better to leave me dead? If I do have to keep living, I want to be so heavily on pills that I'm just like a vegetable. Just no cares at all. I can't talk to anyone at all. My friends wouldn't understand bc we have different lives, my family would use everything against me, my therapist still works for the county or government or whoever, so I could probably get taken from my mom if I tell her everything. Although my mom has put me through some shit, I would like to be with her. I know I'm probably safer with her and we still have some good times. I wish I could do the same with my dad. He's still in my life but i know he still hates me. Apparently he loved me when I was a baby, but as I grew up and developed my own opinions and became close with my mom, he hated me. That started in like 1st grade. I'm now in 9th and its still the same. He tries to hang around when other ppl mention how he treats me, but ofc that only lasts a bit. Then it happens all over again. I wish he loved me like he does my sister. They've always been close. He compliments her and gets her things. Last time my dad complimented me was when I was in 4th grade. Last thing he gave me was a bracelet he found on the ground in front of a hotel when i was in 5th grade. I still cherish it. Why am I never good enough? For my parents, for my family, or myself. It's not hard to be the perfect girl. I just need to lose more weight, hide my flaws, attend school, and be pretty. Then everyone will love me. My parents would accept me. Its so easy but why can't I do it? I've only lost 17 pounds. It should've been WAY more by now but nooo I had to develop an eating disorder and fuck up my eating and metabolism. All of my flaws are mental but they seem to show physically. My eye bags, bruised body, discolored skin, messy clothing. Its gross. I had to stop attending school bc every time I did, I just shut down or almost harmed myself or my peers. I was way prettier when I weighed 92 pounds but ofc my fat ass tried to recover and went up to 105. And now I'm stuck at that number. I hate everything. I want to disappear. I want to go. But ofc, I'm just a 14 year old girl. Everyone says I have no real problems, im being dramatic, or just blow off my issues when I speak up. I don't know if I should listen to them and quit my mental help stuff so I can go completely insane or continue attending and working to better myself. All this shit constantly and I'm just 14. I want it to end already.
#mentally drained#tw ed vent#ed vent#tw ana vent#vent tag#personal rant#ed in tags#mentally disordered#awareness
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I don’t normally nap bc my brain just doesn’t allow that.
But holy fuck. I want to take a nap.
#ah the five hours of sleep and caffeine crash are hitting#sadly i still dont think my brain will allow that bc its light outside#im tired tho#like really tired#my back doesnt hurt anymore and after last night having it seize up in the middle of the night ugh#i was up from like 4am to 7 bc it just hurt That Bad#ironically enough my friend texted me this morning that they quit their new job bc it was too physical#and it caused a massive seize of pain this morning leading them to walking out bc that wouldnt be physically possible to do#and all i could think about was all those witchy people telling me i have the sixth sense#and -from that one wiccan radfem coworker who told us we were now spiritually connected bc we hooked up- that im feeling their pain#ik its likely not the case i sit like a shrimp. but ironic. i'll give it that#all ik is that id kill for a plane ticket down to FL rn to go and cuddle with them for a few nights#im tired and laying in bed doing whatever the fuck with them is literally all i want right now#like cuddling and watching movies and napping is all i want and they very much agree after this morning's event#all i want is a fucking cuddle. a kiss. and a damn nap. that's it. thanks.#taks speaks
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I feel like I'm dying??
#so here's the tea#i just got back from two months of summer camp. amazing. but#every year i get back i get hella depressed#it makes sense. at camp i do what im passionate about all day. im around people i love. get three meals a day. walking in the sunshine#then i come home. i work in fast food. i live alone. i dont eat as much. its harder to get myself out of bed#so ive been going to work. only eating shit from work. coming home. laying in bed. going for my nightly walk cuz i gotta. sleeping#(seriously the only reason im still aliveish is because of my walks. and usually i do them at night because its hot so i dont get much sun)#i have an app called stepbet and you bet a certain amount of money and put it in a pot with other people#and you all commit to walking. and if you dont do the walking you need to then you lose your money#i did that and it's the only reason i can wrestle my ass out of bed#the problem is (god this was a long exposition) im on a walk rn#but because of the depression ive been in bed. not eating much. and worst. ive been forgetting my meds a lot#med withdrawal entails lethargy. tingling throughout the body. seizures sometimes. all around bad feels#but i got about a mile from home before all of that hitting me. all of a sudden i saw a bench and had to collapse onto it#and realized that its gonna be hard to get home#im shaking. weak. all-around miserable. have to finish my walk. dont know if i can walk home#gonna tey to press onward but god i feel like death#send good vibes. i feel like im fonna pass out
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i forgot how exhausting being sad is
#like. man idk#im dehydrated from all the crying#i kinda just wanna lay in bed all day but it just makes me feel worse#i tried to watch stranger things v2 as a distraction#but it was so disappointing that it just made me feel worse#and the hospital scene w max at the end..#my friend warned me abt it ahead of time so i thought i was gonna be ok#but nope#i just. broke down immediately#i literally was like hey maybe i shouldnt watch these rn given whats been happening#and then i was fucking stupid and i watched the episodes anyway and surprise surprise they made me upset#hgh.#i wanna talk to my friends as a distraction too but every time i try i just kinda freeze up#especially cuz a lot of them didnt watch techno or anything#it. really hit me so much harder than i expected it to#i just... im so tired#its getting better but#hhh#pls ignore this i just needed to get my feelings out fhshdfksk#vent tw#death tw#uh delete later ig?
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