#i literally was like hey maybe i shouldnt watch these rn given whats been happening
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i forgot how exhausting being sad is
#like. man idk#im dehydrated from all the crying#i kinda just wanna lay in bed all day but it just makes me feel worse#i tried to watch stranger things v2 as a distraction#but it was so disappointing that it just made me feel worse#and the hospital scene w max at the end..#my friend warned me abt it ahead of time so i thought i was gonna be ok#but nope#i just. broke down immediately#i literally was like hey maybe i shouldnt watch these rn given whats been happening#and then i was fucking stupid and i watched the episodes anyway and surprise surprise they made me upset#hgh.#i wanna talk to my friends as a distraction too but every time i try i just kinda freeze up#especially cuz a lot of them didnt watch techno or anything#it. really hit me so much harder than i expected it to#i just... im so tired#its getting better but#hhh#pls ignore this i just needed to get my feelings out fhshdfksk#vent tw#death tw#uh delete later ig?
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