#im kinda losing it rn lol.... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neonsbian · 5 months ago

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#im kinda losing it rn lol....#theres literally like no space bw ten n hendery 😭#wayv #vinnie talks

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hecksupremechips · 7 months ago

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Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

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k-kizkhalifa · 2 months ago

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s3ep1 --

ALRIGHT MY GUYS. IVE NEVER SEEN THIS SEASON IT'S ALL NEW TO ME. So, lets dig in. And i know, you all could give a shit but Im here, doing this. Making it happen.

Oh he's 21 now! Okay, okay. Good sign. LOL at Misaki yelling at Usami as soon as he wakes up. THis isn't going to go well. Oh Takahiro is coming over!

oh goodness it's a whole music change. damn. usagi needs to recharge, misaki! let him! not misaki still thinking of them as "roommates" there is a baby! daw he is sooooo adorable. lol of course akihiro is terrible with children.

oh no takahiro... making real life words at these two. reality. bro is this season is sad imma scream.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW OPENIGN SCENE. Okay. HERE WE GO. oh is that shinobu and myagi? AWE MY BABY NOWAKI AND HIS MAN. oh who is these dude??? new dude??? is this going to be a problem!??!? ! OH Y'ALLL MISAKI MADE A MOVE IN THE OPENING SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am having hope!

Sumi still making an appearance I see. Misaki getting so irritated over Usami's jealousy. LOL. awe the "photo op"!

damn this the first episode and misaki really having to think about life right now. holy cow. we've just started, chill. well i see misaki is still playing with his feelings. smh.

okay this guy? is this the new guy from the trailer? IS HE GOING TO BE A PROBLEM??????? Y'ALL I SWEAR IF THIS DUDE CAUSES TROUBLE IM GETTING NOWAKI AFTER HIM SO DAMN QUICK.

well look at them bonding! Todo? His name? UHM NOT THE LOOK BACK. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOO.

I feel like Usagi is NOT about to let Misaki go to this autograph thing. And not Misaki making a comment about the guy he could have been friends with. Usagi, CHIL OUT.

Oh, here we go.... OH DAMN USAGI GONNA TELL HIS BROTHER?! OH SHIT. Oh Misaki do NOT MESS THIS UP! Bro. THIS MAN IS SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. AND YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM. WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?!?!? UGH. WHY IS THIS GIVING ME SO MUCH ANXIETY!

who the fuck is this guy??? Mizuki, okay. A friend? TF. another cousin. oh got intense as fk. DAMN ANOTHER ONE OF THESE PPL DRAGGING MISAKI.

well well misaki... are you getting jealous?! concerned???

Misaki: Usagi will hate it and tell him to leave. *Usagi smiles and says he can stay* WAIT DID USAGI SMILE AND GET ALONG WITH THIS GUY. SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME?!

seems like jealousy bro. oh man misaki, darling, it's okay. i (want to but i am unsure) promise that usagi only loves you.

well here we go. lol misaki trying to work info out of usagi, all chill like. i see through you bro. usagi you better figure out your man is anxious or i'll destroy you!

OK I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH. IT IS NOT FAIR THAT USAGI ASK MISAKI, "ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRISON ME HERE" because just before this dude showed up he was talking about locking misaki up and never letting him leave. ever. alfjalskjdflasjf USAGI PLEASE YOU TOXIC MAN!

Misaki: I think you should just pay attention to me!

oh him and his rush nature. bro you really get yourself into situations sometimes.

lol usagi bro you srsly are so damn toxic. i hate that i love it.

usagi: get so jealous that all you think about is me. okay? great. i love that. i love you. stay. be mine. i am so happy i could die. im gonna kiss you now. forever and ever you stupid boy.

lol at "several days later" BRO THIS KID IS A LOT. i can't even remember his name. smh. bro gonna cause trouble. i thought it was the other new guy but it seems like this guy. im annoyed. and irriated. ugh.

Why do shows like this GET INTO MY HEAD SO MUCH! aljdfalsjdfalsjf im stressssssssssssssed.

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snzluv3r · 1 year ago

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cats are so sweet but also how do they always know i am allergic to them. it’s like they know i swear they know how else would they know to sit directly on my chest and refuse to leave me alone no matter how many times i scare them away with my sneezing

#it’s so many cats #the majority of them #THEY KNOW #sorry i’ve been sneezing all day and im losing valuable brain cells i think #cat is sitting on my chest rubbing her face on my phone and hands rn #kinda self obs #i guess idk #have all day tomorrow to record wavs and im extra sensitive rn bc i am with four cats lol #so hopefully will tackle my to do list

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cyeayt · 9 months ago

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Back on my bullshit answer my questions

while doing some rudimentary research for this poll it has come to my attention that pins and needles are a feeling felt while the limb is asleep, not the period of intense sensation/tingling/sensitivity experienced while it comes back online. or maybe it's both? the stuff i read referred to it as tingling that happens while the limb is pinned/under pressure/numb. i cannot find anything that references what i have come to think of as "the agony" but ive referred to it as the pins and needles in the options for this poll anyway.

Mild: limb has muted sensation but can be moved and used carefully, pins and needles begin almost immediately after limb is moved from whatever position caused it to fall asleep. Pins and needles not painful and do not appear painful, and last a few seconds, person affected is capable of speech and moving other parts of their body during pins and needles, which last a few seconds.

Middle intensity: limb is numb or partially numb and can twitch but not be moved precisely. Pins and needles begin a few seconds after limb is unpinned or when it is moved. Pins and needles not painful but intense and appear uncomfortable, taking a lot of the affected person's attention/capacity. they last between 5 and 7 seconds.

Intense: limb is numb and cannot move/be used, pins and needles begin 5-7 seconds after the limb is unpinned. pins and needles are intense and may be painful or not painful but 'unbearable', causing the affected person to cry out, grimace, or otherwise appear to be in pain. Person cannot speak or move their other limbs during pins and needles, which last 10 or more seconds (without shaking) and have residual tingling for a few seconds after limb regains movement/becomes bearable to move

obviously this all depends on how long the limb was pinned but just answer whichever is the most common for you, and if you want you can put in the tags what positions make your limbs go numb/how you deal.

#polls #poll #tell me your secrets #idk i was just shaking out my hand but im sick/tired rn so i was actively crying out and was thinking #that limbs falling asleep/pins and needles are a very common and intensely unpleasant experience #and its kinda fuckin weird that we as a society dont talk about it more #and that it can be brushed off or be a single line in books n stuff #and like theres a lot of things that get done dirty in books for how intense/scary/dangerous they are irl #like the first time i got the wind knocked out of me and thought i was dying cause its only ever described as #getting the wind knocked out of you #rather than you can't feel the air coming in and out of your lungs #and the only way you can tell youre not dying is that you aren't experiencing air hunger #which can happen when you are dying in certain situations so fuck if i know #and like headrush like i see new colors/lose track of reality/twitch or faint when its real bad and in books its always like #a bout of dizzyness or some shit #and before i get called out yea i know what an iron deficiency is #also rip to all book characters who've been knocked out for several hours after a head injury or passed out from blood loss lol #anyway #then theres shit like my psycosomatic faux asthma symptoms or swallowing issure or the foot thing that are unique to me as far as i can tel #and boy howdy does that suck shit #but to conclude #bodies are weird why dont you tell me how yours works.

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hyunrun · 7 months ago

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tw ed in the tags !!

#im feeling sooo awful abt my body today its crazy #i dont wanna relapse but also i have prom and grad coming up so its very very tempting #silly side note but ive been friends w some moots on edtwt longer than I've known some of my irls and that's crazy to me #anyway i was looking at tweets of me being so majorly uber excited abt final hitting 45 kg T-T like man omfg #feb 23 me was the skinniest id ever been and i was thriving !!#and i highkey wanna be that again #was my hair thinning and did my face look so gaunt it scared me at times? yes #did i also feel my prettiest + have the most external validation from strangers etc ever? also yes !!#i feel fat and ugly rn but I'm also just very averagely weighted #but i have a naturally broader built but i feel like i look bigger even if I'm not ?? 9ufdkjhjs #anyway its scary looking through old tweets bc I'm talking abt skipping lunch like everyday and stuff like that's scary !! don't do that #but also it makes me wanna do it again like if i could look like that again... id genuinely kill myself for it #i was kinda also p healthy back then LOL only ate god food #cardio every evening + muscle training every morning #anyway teehee thats all i very much dislike my body rn and i hope i can lose a bit so i don't feel like dying <3 #i have hope bc im only 5kg off what i used to be so !! shouldn't be too hard yaaya if i can just get back in the 40s ill be happy like a 47 #i got this !! hopefully will not destroy myself in the process yay #tw ed

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actualsunflower · 2 years ago

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still a wip but before and after lol

#sunflower's art #jay evarhart-valentine #nick valentine #fallout 4 #i feel like crap rn. probably getting sick which is stupid asf #hopefully im fine tomorrow but i'm kinda losing my voice so idk lol

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widevibratobitch · 5 months ago

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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather #watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting #and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about #gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO #wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this #to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend #i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play #which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show #and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm #and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am #and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day #and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down #'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol #and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me #to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol #i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours #and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal

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astralmarionette · 10 months ago

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i think someone should kill me. violently. make my body unidentifiable. dismember me. discard my limbs in different parts of town.

#mari fucking struggles 😞#risking it all typing this on my school computer lol #i mean the worst theyll do is call my mommy and then ill just idk #be mental irl i have nothing to lose anymore man idc #if i were a band kid and deadly afraid of drug addiction i would get high rn....#the only reason im not completely suicidal is cuz i wanna grow up to be a tired 37 y/o who works with the unbearably hyper teenager #who learns to love themself again while also gifting life knowledge to said teenager like were in a movie or smth #also bc i need to own a victorian estate and have pretty dresses and be hauntingly beautiful and marry a gyaruo #but none of this will happen if i dont get to go to college within 2 years of graduating high school #since 3rd grade my policy has been if i dont get into college suicide.#that probably says alot about me huh #3rd graders are 8-9 btw (i was 8)#i kinda hope the school clocks me but also i hope not cuz itd be sooo hard explaining that i have multiple mental illnesses that #make me wanna kms and sometimes i over share these things online for anybody to see #i trust my mutuals tho lol weve known each other since 2019 thats longer than literally anyone i actively consider a friend irl to date. so #i need to be killed.#mari vents

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orcelito · 1 year ago

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Formal Apology to my persona 5 followers

Yeah.

#speculation nation #i did not mean to switch fandoms but like... my brain has entirely switched gears lmao #i do still love p5 & akeshu of course but like. god i hate the fandom so fucking much.#no fandom is without faults but ive been enjoying my time in trigun fandom SO much more than p5 fandom #enough to take my blog out of hiding from search results. which is honestly kinda wild.#i dont plan on permanently giving up on writing discacc. but like. lol.#im having a lot more fun with itnl & interacting with trigun fandom. so this is just how it is rn.#i keep losing some followers (tho slower than im gaining trigun followers) and i Assume it's my p5 followers jumping ship #which like. Fair. hfkshfj if ur not interested in trigun & dont wanna see it. well. uh. sorry.#in the end it's my blog & writing fanfic is supposed to be fun. i hate temporarily putting discacc on hiatus #but i HAAAATED the p5 fandom & especially akeshu fandom. which is not a great feeling for the fandom im supposed to be in.#turns out it's not quite normal to have a great number of big names in the fandom that make my blood just fucking Boil #just upon seeing their names. it's that Dust shit & all involved. for those that know lol.#for any who r willing to stick it out with me. thanks ❤. tho im not judging anyone who ends up unfollowing #this is less of an apology for switching fandoms and more an apology for letting down discacc fans #maybe i should put a note on it or smth idk. i'll think about it.#for now imma just keep doing as i do. Happily. i have been having a lot of fun.

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kirishwima · 2 years ago

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idk what it says about me when my first response to someone hurting me is immediate apathy but. it is what it is

#i have been nagging my friends both irl and in our gc #to let me know if theyre coming to the tattoo convention tomorrow #they ALL know how badly i wanted to go since this is the first year ill be able to #and only two people replied yes or no in our gc #the rest didnt even bother and i brought it up so manh fucking times #then yesterday was the bday of one of those friends #found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up #for it so nbd!#my other friend texts me just now #to INVITE me to his party thats in a few hours bc! he forgot to invite me!#he remembered to invite EVERYONE else in our gc including random other people #but forgot me :) who he says is 'a good friend' and keeps asking me for medical advice and favors #i told my friend i cant make it and she said 'hes sad about that'#i replied i dont care lol #but not in a 'im mad but petty' kinda way i just. really dont care rn #i do a little since im posting this obviouslg #but also this just made me. lose any care i had for this person?#i know i can become very cold and mean if im hurt #and right now i feel. nothing towards this guy whose supposed to be my friend #this became my defense mechanism the past year when im hurt #i just stop caring and idk if its the medical field #that changed me into this but. idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#delete later #just had to vent for a sec bc i dont wanna tell my friend all of this #the last thing i wanna do is put a common friend in the middle of all of this #ah well

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halfdeadwallfly · 1 month ago

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anyway today i told the man i think i'm falling in love with that he should never have children. in other news he liked my instagram story post about communism

#boink #personal #guys i swear i was joking #i informed him of that as well. just to b sure #there's more context i just don't feel like explaining it lol #guys he's so beautiful #he's so beautiful #we were doing sectionals on this really hard song today #anyway all the practice rooms were taken so we went up to this other room #and he came in to check on us after a while #anyway it was like a tiny closet of a room and i was sitting right by the door #and he came in and we were talking and wtv but like i didnt have room to move so i was just kinda. staring. up at him. from the floor #and he was like looking down at me #and i was already at the point in rehearsal where im just completely losing it #like everything is absurd and any semblance of group sanity has entirely dissolved #so im trying soo hard to be normal w him standing over me like that #but then hes /standing over me like that/ and my stomach is doing little loopy things that it shouldnt be #and i am srsly starting to further question my sanity #anyway now i cant stop thinking abt him. and. that.#bc. .#god #serious wrenches are being thrown in my understanding of myself rn

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steampoweredskeleton · 3 months ago

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Ignore

#delete later #am i wildly researching where i may end up living at 2am awake bc of pain? yes. should i be? absolutely not #theres a dry spell of properties and obvs i know itll improve again but eurgh. there were some nice places that have gone abd now theyre al #student accommodation and im not doing that. that isnt me seeing students as below me i just cant function in a shared #place with strangers. i will lose it and stop functioning. im just. stressed. and i can't do anything bc im in pain so thw stress is just #sitting there #its. having a chronic health condition that can get worse seemingly randomly sucks. how can i plan for anything. my current fear #is how can i view places to live if i cant leave the flat. my hands will improve but if im not carefil they will keep flaring up #but tine doesn't wait for health to stabilise. im just tired of it all. i need to future plan but whats tge point when idek #when I'm next gonna be able to go outside without fucking myself up. im gonna have to bc i feel so fucking claustrophobic rn #im having a pity party. i gotta sometimes. just. kinda miserable. i hate being in limbo. on the upside all friends gifts arrived. gonna try #figure out how to wrap them one handed. or find a bag. we'll see which i can do lol. feel kinda bad ive just been like hiding for the #past couple weeks but im in pain. not much to be done abd i need ro frequently lie down and just control my breathing #not conducive to fun. its 2am i need to sleep. i hurt #i know im whining a bunch lately. ahit just is. overwhelming and deeply upsetting. and im in too much pain to do anything but #lie here and think about it. and that sucks

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honeyedbrie · 6 months ago

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me: on the verge of having a panic attack in the toronto airport bc my impulsive barely planned trip is impulsiving and not going according to.. vibes (i cant say plans bc deadass what planning?)

team go rocket grunt at the pride flag pokestop: you don't belong here, go home!

me: bitch do not tempt me!!!

#hahahahahaha why am i like this #mine #personal #actually adhd #adhd problems #this is why i travel with other people #i cannot plan properly to save my fucking life #im staying with a friend #but shes out of town rn bc she thought i was staying the first couple of nights with my bestie #so anyways #moral of the story is i currently have nowhere to stay tonight🙃#pls send thoughts and prayers #or dollars #ya boi has like $500 to last me the next month and it kinda looks like atleast $200 of that is going towards accomodations #pls help #tw mental illness #also thats not the only reason im on the verge of a panic attack; im also kinda near where my shitty abusive ex used to work!#and seeing him is like numero uno on my list of worst case scenarios for this trip #so #yeah #but my seatmate on the plane was really nice!! we chatted most of the way from van to toronto:-)#and one of the flight attendants had they/them pronouns and looked like a nb tilda swinton #so like you win some you lose some lol

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kurtcore · 7 months ago

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i just want to learn forever

#im gonna be so sad when i graduate :(#i mean i plan to go up to a phd lol #but im taking a year out before my masters #and ik its gonna be hard to kinda conduct my own learning #esp bc not being a student means i lose access to the library and jstor and all these academic journals and sites etc #idk why im gettjng emotional rn lmao?#just reading a book for one of my modules #(we are all completely beside ourselves by karen joy fowler)#and thinking abt how much this module has influenced my thinking #and really like. opened up a whole new avenue of thought i didnt have before #like i view almost everything i read nowadays differently bc of what this module is teaching me #in terms of theory and social hierarchy and such #idk anyways. good book i recommend

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hecksupremechips · 8 months ago

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Finally got the ending to the letter I was going for and uh

#the klock keeps ticking #the letter #my godddddd #my brain is fried i am shaking #I have all this analysis i wanna do but i wont do it all rn cuz damn im tired #and drained cuz like as you can expect in the route where nothing is happy and everyone dies. it was very heavy and not uplifting akdnsk #plus this is also the route where luke is his most evil and i had to stop every sentence just to take a deep breath lol #GOD he sucks i hate him so much like every time you think he cant get worse he does #but i will point out one analysis im losing my shit over and its the parallels between past and present #cuz when you get to see all the memory fragments play at once you see just how similar it all is #and basically its clear that charlotte is definitely a parallel to luke thats why she sucks so much too lol #and eduard is hannah and id figured as much like hannah and charlotte look identical and share a VA #but hannah is actually like. nice. and not a major dickhead lol #but the parallel i never noticed was the fact that takako is definitely zach #id figured she was marianne maybe just cuz they look kinda similar and both have black cats and while there is a definite parallel there #like shes definitely zach they have very similar personalities and takako has a bit of a crush on eduard #like zach with hannah but you know they both keep a safe distance cuz their crush is married and its just not their place to do this #charlotte notices this and is more possessive of eduard like luke does with hannah #and where it really comes into play in this route is luke killing hannah for disloyalty #even though HES the disloyal one and zach catches him in the act and luke takes advantage of this #and pins the crime on zach with glee because hes a racist fuck and resents Zach for ‘tempting’ hannah into cheating #something that doesnt even happen at all #its just like when charlotte kills eduard right in front of takako cuz she KNOWS she likes him and wants to punish him even though she #loves him at the same time and then she pins it on takako and has her burnt alive and shes super happy about it #cuz shes also a racist fuck and gets pleasure for making someone ‘lesser’ than her suffer and know their place #both charlotte and luke easily get away with their bullshit too cuz theyre rich white and powerful and people are way too eager to punish a #minority so they just go along with it #im so fucking aaaaaa. god im so not normal about the zach/takako parallel god i love it so much #and in particular i desperately need a scenario where zach haunts luke until he kills himself its all i ask #i suppose with the ending i got you could easily interpret that happening but still i need to see it

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