#im keeping her on the big ones for now
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what fic should i make my friend read next
she’s read atyd and out of the blue so far, and she is currently reading choices but i want her to have a different fic prepared to read if she finishes choices while i’m gone
#i think i read best friends brother after i read choices?#but it gave me so much secondhand embarrassment#im thinking either crimson rivers#just lovers#or art heist baby#or do we give her the cadence of part time poets#since i don’t know her thoughts on jegulus yet#but i haven’t read tcoptp#im keeping her on the big ones for now#i will probably give her just lovers actually#so we can slowly move away from hogwarts fics#she doesn’t have an ao3 account but i’d probably give her my login#or i would just send her a pdf or an epub of it#anyway#thoughts#OR DO I GIVE HER ONLY THE BRAVE#or something entirely different
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that reveal was so cool
#orianna reveck#orianna#corin reveck#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane fanart#should i tag singed?? IDK#shes basically albino now too#HAIR DISCOLORATION ftw#anyways singed is such a little guy i wanna hug him and tell him to not be sad#love himt o death#yay#ay tho orianna is gonna be back im so curious how that happens#whats her reaction#shes a little kid rn how is she gonnaturn into that big lady#awesome ballerina tho#and clockwork isnt singeds strong suit i dont think am i right or no#but he is corin now soooooooooooo#EH WHATEVER#Ofc keeping a dead loved one around for 20 years bc you can’t accept their death is bad but literally everyone else in the story did it too#so I give him a pass
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the one who pulls the strings (click for better resolution!)
from adamandi by @melliotwrites,, consider this my pitch to get you all to watch it
#beatrix valeria campbell#adamandi#this image was originally too big to save. but like im so tempted to print out the og as a poster to hide somewhere in my bedroom#anyway!!!! adamandi. im so obsessed. i have particular soft spots for vincent and bea they are my comfort characters i love when they appea#especially together. ''keep your deflections rehearsed''... aaah#shoutout to me being very normal (/sarc) about this in studio and showing it to my friends who were very indulgent with me#and also vastly entertained that i have yet again found another musical to obsess over!! shoutout also to my friend who saw bea and instant#instantly did The Face where its like. disbelieving smile. and then went#'' idk if i love her or if i want to be her''#they're so gender. also on another note the whole asian roots things called out to me with lin!! like#the cutting fruit part in the ambrose entry had me screaming internally. oh my god cut fruit. oh my god ambrose Not Getting It.#anyway vincent's so real for all the biology references. science my beloved (<- i no longer takes bio and thus remember it fondly)#also the way they all only care about specific people-ish. i identify with that selfishness tbh. like it's good all my loved ones are stabl#bc vincent's ''this was all a gift for you''? in a darker universe probably me fr#anyways!!! stunning music and lyrics and bg and plot and costumes and acting!!! i cannot give a more glowing review akjdfhdsjk#so much of this lives rent free in my head. i have snippets of the songs memorised.#also shoutout to the shadows on the official adamandi poster.. the stained glass shadows for quincy and blood for vincent.. insane#now tag ramble about this one! highlights include i have been wanting to paint this for a Week and today i gave myself a Rest Day and got i#like this pose. went insane over it. help. the lighting. the pose. the strings#bea is such. lowkey manipulative girlboss i have so many thoughts.#trying to Not have spoilers here but! i like how the tips of the white strings in this little fanart of mine are a slight bit tinted :33#also i moved the layout of the eye-boards a bit and added in strings of them hanging away. i realise in the original they are on stands.#but call this artistic liberties!! speaking of. for the textures it's photoshop noise filter + old paper + literally to my delight#one of the google images for. and i quote. ''old newspaper 1930 usa student'' that i then blurred out. and it looked so good!!!#journalist bea so beloved. i think i messed up the gloves a bit though :OO but nothing's perfect.#discovered this show on a 2am tumblr scroll and watched it thrice the next day as i did studio#the core message of. ''word to the wise- there's a whole world outside'' i am grasping so tight this exam season
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ok soooo im like 5 episodes into dear brother and i need you guys to know how much i love rei so far if only for her staggering around like a rain-soaked stray dog just haggard and unseeing all the time. like we know very little about her thus far except that every scene she's in she steals the show by flopping and wilting all over the frame
#just like me fr perhaps#dear brother#oniisama e#idk what it is but shes so intriguing. mysterious shit-untogether lady#also i love everyone's beef so far like im completely hooked on the drama as camp as it usually is#like went OHH SHIT the second i found out the big three were on bad terms like ouhhh theyre fightinggg#and minako is profoundly real. the video essay that convinced me to watch this mentioned her encapsulation of quote#'every bpd feeling ive ever had' and as an outsider that seems right#school full of girls to study under a magnifying glass like bugs. girlbugs#this is an era of shojo im not very familiar with (ok ig all eras are like that but my knowledge of 70s shojo is like.#ok rose of vsailles over here and that tennis thing's over there and uh. yeah thats it)#and yeah ik the anime's from the 90s but it appears. to me. pretty married to more 70s aesthetics at least#ANYWAY kaoru ily we need a butch failgirl to shout these girls into line and shes balling too btw no way#and minako ily you're extremely real and a scene stealer and i need you to beat more girls up#nanoko im leering over your shoulder like a little shoulder devil bc i want you to be worse and im suspecting you're getting there#oh i forgot to say this part but i keep comparing it to utena#no one ive seen brings up db in their utena analyses as an influence so i have to wonder if 1) this is just more obscure#(if only for the western video essayists im watching) or 2) they share other common ancestry im not familiar with#once again i gotta watch rose of vrsailles for brserk reasons but also now bc of this#she's important she's influential etc etc#anyway yeah excited to get back to the mentally ill girl variety hour ✌️✌️#asuka rei#<- I FORGOT TO TAG IT WITH HER 😫😫😫
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i think if i painted my ex situationship i'd be cured it's the most shallow but intense connection i've had w anyone i think i am so obsessed w how she looks i want 2 photograph her/paint her forever rant in tags but ive talked abt it b4 so feel free to ignore
#god her personality is so . kind of repulsive its insane i think shes a good friend to her friends but#the way she just openly admitted to treating her exes like they r less than human w the most beautiful smile u have seen in ur life#shes acc tainted tottenham court for me bc i keep thinking of our second date where she wrapped her hands around me from behind waiting for#the train . also yh sorry we were one of those cringe ppl on the escalator sorry sorry never again sorry#shes shorter than me but on the escelators she was taller so she kissed the top of my head gently#w the most beautiful side profile on earth she said she didnt even lead me on. its fine it was never that serious#ill FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking abt when on a date she was like . yh my ex would look lovely pregnant 😊 like bitch. WHAT#also she has central heterochromia so like . super beautiful big green/brown eyes longest eyelashes ever + i dont want to lose you i think#im 80% sure we should just be friends ok my love#i took you to a party on a high-rise and you held my neck when u kissed me on a canary wharf rooftop and now you just told me you want to#fuck pregnant women and that you basically cheated on your ex who then cheated on you but its ok bc shes the love of ur life#????#anyway#sorry i am acc basically almost entirely over her this was triggered by her texting me to meet up a few mins ago#after ghosting me for a while . anywya w/e time to hang out w friends and study
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not to be gay on main but oh my god. oh my god.
#I THOUGHT MONTAGUE AND OSCAR AND CERBERUS WERE HOT AND THEN SHE SHOWED UP...#she calls me little mouse and epic fr just expects me to be normal about jt#im ready to pass away every time i interact with her#i would do anything for you queen#fortnite#fortnite artemis#ratkinggames#im sorry they went for my weakest link#why tf is everyone hot in this game i cant#they keep cooking with the character designs#btw yeah ratzattak camille is p much my main now#i alternate between a big handful of skins but she's my number one i love her sm#artemis has such peggy carter vibes you know ??? in her own sort of way but it appeals to my gay ass#augh sorry im done now
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A day in the life with my family(illustrated):
Three of my siblings and my sisters boyfriend trying to get my cat to join them on the trampoline(note her expression)
My mom petting our cat on the couch sayinh "is something wrong with you" with a baby voice(he usually doesn’t like cuddles)
Me and @blueskybehindtheclouds bonding on a piano chair that barely has space for one person on a good day(honorable mention to our cat named chat noir)
And last but not least this with no context im not giving context
#hey maybe we should get like#a reality tv show#that would be entertaining#my family is chaotic#somehow we have not scared away my sisters boyfriend#but he is joining in so hes probably gonna be fineeee#also my little brother saw a big ass tick and said “that looks like a blueberry i get why (cousin) would eat it”#?????#apparently my cousin once ate a tick???#oh well#this is why i havent finished any fics yet#also one of our three cats is activly trying to move away#which is sad#she keeps literally knocking on an old lady's window#like she knocks on windows and doors with her paws its very cute#and chat noir just climbs the thingies on the window#what are those called#anyways#our last cat just screams#like she meows very loudly#she is the confused looking one and she is my baby#except for the time she saw me unable to move on the floor and was like “yes i can get onto the kitchen counter now”#i definantly spelt that wrong#and that#oops#she is still a baby though#i think im rambling now gonna end it there
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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...
#im back from a week with my dad at home and at the lake#it was really nice to b home for a while but now im a mess lol#bc it really makes me wanna move back to Appalachia and not do another semester out here#and also this was our 1st trip to the lake without my mom being there. she loved the lake. she grew up on the water and was named after an#island. she died before she could use our new jetski. which my dad bought for her and she would have loved#and i stood in her sandles bc my dad keeps them out by the fireplace and my toes fit almost exactly into the impressions of her feet#and i came come with another bag full of her clothes. and i feel bad for my dad being all alone in that big house#i mean hes got the dogs but theyre 7 and 8 and theyre big boys so they probably dont have all that long left. itll be so sad when they die.#there was a moment where i was talking to the dogs and he said i sounded exactly like my mom. which was kinda intentional#on my part bc i say a lot of things bc she would say them. stolen phrases and intonations. pieces of things ive taken.#its still weird that she's just gone forever. the time in the hospital feels like it was some horrible nightmare.#and now shes never gonna kno where we end up. she's left rooms full of half tumbled rocks and half sorted photos and half organized#classroom supplies. the outlines of a person that will slowly be stitched out of existance as time moves on until theres nothing left and#the memories are gone. its just sad is all. especially bc she didnt deserve it. no one does but expecally not her.#but unfortunately life isnt about getting what you deserve. its chaos and coincidence all the way down.#unrelated
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look at my alternate yuu concept boy
#i just think the idea of isekaing at age 22 and being shoved into high school is so funny. shes just here now#185cm makes her the same height as leona btw. nearly six foot one. absurdly tall#she did not have friends b4 twst bc she had a Lot of ppl approach her bc of her parents#was very good at keeping a polite distance and went a little insane in twst as a result#fails all her classes at nrc bc she is going home at the end of this to her Real life so who cares shes here for a Good time#girl w/no subconcious desire to stay in twst tho i do think itd be good for her in the long run#she wants to go back to her own reality bc she wants to finish her degree. she was so close#Everyone's Big Sister (self-proclaimed) and incredibly obnoxious abt it#gets on v well with kalim and lilia and then cater is there in the background like. Please Let Me Out.#shes in gargoyle research. malleus is a little brother to her and i think he actually does see her as family more than a romantic partner#WHICH IS RARE FOR ME im usually all abt malleus > yuu but here it makes sense. they are platonic. u kno how it is#book 7 is a really bad time for her bc she learns all of lilias backstory and realizes how much shit he wasnt telling her#as if she were telling him anything serious abt herself LMAO but him leaving w/o sayign + finding out his backstory from a dream is just. h#book 7 i think is whats solidifying her desire to return home. she has a place where she belongs and its not here.#anyways ironically despite how much ive written here + how much ive thought abt her shes only a secondary yuu. yjn comes first always <3#i do really like her shes a lot of fun to think abt. very Messy and impulsive unlike yjn whos thoughtful and deliberate. u kno#god this was a tag essay. ok.#how do you art#twst oc#myuu stuff
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Being raised by adults who never apologized for their wrongdoings and always blamed their behavior on extenuating circumstances or someone else or their mental conditions really messed me up huh. Like all I asked was for you to apologize for yelling at me for asking you to hand me something because you thought my tone was wrong. But instead of an apology, I'm the one in the wrong because after all my tone was hostile to you and I need to remember that due to your ADHD you can't control your emotions. Nevermind the fact that I had carefully rehearsed the question in my head over and over again because this is not the first time this has happened. And I'm clearly a manipulative person for crying after being yelled at. Doesn't matter that I was thirteen, after all, I should've known better.
#sorry for the vent post#im just not in a good headspace lately#i just keeping going back to this#because i think it was my breaking point#kinda the moment i realized nothing was gonna change#because it didnt matter how hard i tried#and the fact that even now eleven years later when i explained to her how hurt i was by this interaction#it still gets brushed off and i still don't get an apology#like you wont apologize for the big problems you wont apologize for the small problems#it doesnt matter how much i explain how i was hurt i dont get an apology#id even settle for an insincere one at this point#and now being adult and recognizing how bullshit that behavior was#but being expected to carry on like usual because after all it was never that bad#nothing really terrible ever happened so why should i hold onto the past#idk man like 18 years of constantly walking on eggshells and carefully selecting every word and controlling my tone fucks a person up#and i dont wanna go back to that#nevermind the fact that my anxiety disorder got ignored and brushed off time and time again#nevermind the countless signs and panic attacks and weird behavior#mental health mattered until it was something you didnt have or inconvenienced you#then it was all in my head and i just had to grow a pair and act my age
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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#going through an absolutely uh heart wrenching breakup right now and#i need someone older and wiser to tell me how this goes#we live together. she wants to be single. i want to keep her as my lover. i wanted to live with her like lovers for the rest of our lives.#we want to stay friends. we're best friends. weve dated for 6.5 years. im nauseous in denial i don't have people who know how to help me#dumb putting this bs on glitter blog but just in case anyone has survived something like this and can DM me hi#how do you live with someone youve had the best times of ur life with when they don't want you to be more than friends#i want to hold her forever. she doesn't want to be beholden to anyone in this point of life.#im deleting this post later just hoping someone might see and help bc i am absolutely lost and dont know how on earth to act#im in fuckin nyc and it hurts being alone somewhere so big. crying on the subway and shit.#we live together. we live together. the lease ends february 2025. what the fuck. its a studio apartment. its one room and one bed.#op barks
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It occurred to me the other day that Asbel is the only party member without *any* sort of spell artes. I guess friendship really is his magic 😅
#dolphin plays graces again#It suits his character though to be the aggro tank. He's protecting the others 😤#Him and Sophie both have high defense actually which makes sense they're both sacrificial idiots. i love them 💜💜#With Sophie out of the party rn (Lambda laser to the chest 😔) and me wanting to try other characters I now have a party of all spellcasters#The strategy seems to be 'ok ONE of us is going to have a bad time but as long as everyone else is fine our explosions can keep happening'#Richard and Hubert are strong in melee actually they're just so frail they keel over at the slightest touch 😅 drama kings.#Sorry for all the gameplay meta rambling the combat system's definitely growing on me as I figure it out more#Though the only character Im actually good w is Asbel 😅 I'm a melee player myself and like I said he's the only exclusive one#I should play Sophie more but she's the best healer and I need her on that 🙏#Cheria's great for big heals and big spell damage but Sophie can heal quickly and reliably#Which is important bc RICHARD AND HUBERT KEEP DYING 😩#Pascal and Malik mostly do fine but I think Pascal is just Better Malik 😅 sorry Captain#anyway those are my thoughts on the battles. no idea if my experiences are normal or if I'm just bad at this game 😅
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6, 11, and 19- UHHHHHH any of them that vibes these questions! <:"Dc
afternoon lori!! thank you for the ask :D
6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?
Caine-
taking advice: chen. without a doubt its chen. caine would question him or argue if they dont understand why hes giving the advice he does, but at the end of the day, he trusts that chen has his reasons, and that those reasons make sense.
refusing advice: hmmm,,, significantly harder to answer tbh. caine is pretty accepting of a lot of avenues of information. maybe hollow ground? so far hes been extremely suspicious of the kingpin, Especially after almost getting threaded. either that or regina, but would she even survive long enough to give them advice???? shes the only person so far they actually want revenge against.
Cyrus-
taking advice: anathema. too bad hes dead. nobody to stop cyrus now.
refusing advice: id say chen, purely for "fuck him, he wouldnt piss on me if i was burning" reasons. hed be way too suspicious of any 'advice' chen gives to act on it.
Cecilia-
taking advice: ceci doesnt exactly do advice. more like suggestions. most of them come from ortega, not because she particularly trusts him but because most of his suggestions tend to be fun. ofc she also turned down therapy so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
refusing advice: daniel. for extremely petty reasons. even deciding to stay at his place was an idea she came up with, not him. danny has no Idea how much of a pain shes going to be now that theyre rooming together.
Cynthia-
taking advice: hollow ground. #justthreadedtingz😍🤪
refusing advice: the funny thing about cynthia is that she cares for the people shes close to, she just doesnt trust them, so this applies to a lot of people. definitely ortega because thats probably the messiest divorce i ever did see, but also dr mortum, because she doesnt think she would understand the situation shes in enough to give advice even if their relationship Doesnt completely fall apart when the puppet thing is revealed.
11. They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?
Caine- nothing really to spend it on. save, unless theres something he really wants to get his hands on.
Cyrus- could be useful in the future. save.
Cecilia- depends, does she still have her funds from thievery? if no, spend. if yes, pretend to spend it by showing off things she already owns to throw people off her track, then save it. or spend if theres something mundane she wants.
Cynthia- doesnt really like having big sums of money lying around. spend it on villain work.
19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?
Caine- i mean. does going into a rabbit hole of tangentially relevant information a week before count? not for job interviews though. they couldnt care enough about that.
Cyrus- duh. hes the person somebody would go to if they need notes or extra tutoring.
Cecilia- no, but if she cared about tests enough shed be a top student, and she usually manages to fly by on job interviews because shes pretty charming.
Cynthia- yes, but for school its because the subjects are interesting to her, while the job interview is for general "i want to get the job" reasons.
questions from here!
#pulp answers#ask game#once again i am obsessed with chen and caines dynamic with trust#but to elaborate a little more while sparing the rant#caine trusts chen enough to argue with him because they want to understand his perspective#theyd do a lot for him but he wants to know /why/ first- he doesnt want to act blindly for the sake of following orders#which is more than what i could say for some of their other relationships#if i had to say somebody alive for the “who would cyrus get advice from” question itd be dr mortum#hes smart+one of cyrus best friends+doesnt have any annoying moral hangups to get in the way of giving good advice#theres just a small little hangup of dr mortum getting extremely pissed at him for letting argentine get hurt but you know im sure its fine#OKAY BUT TO BE FAIR TO CYNTHIA#EVEN IF SHE WASNT THREADED#AS LONG AS SHE GOT THE PROTECTED STATUS SHED BE THE MOST WILLING TO LISTEN TO HOLLOW GROUND#potential big sibling???? who seems to care enough about her to protect her from their own mind???? who cynthia doesnt have to worry about-#-a big bad secret destroying their relationship over????? are you fucking kidding sign her up#hollow ground couldve had it All if they hadnt fucked it up first meeting by threading her#now its just a matter of time before that explodes in their face Again#something i find really interesting is that cynthia kinda. underestimates ortega and dr mortum? but not in terms of their abilities#more in what they would accept and understand. like she doesnt think they could ever really Get the things shes done yk?#which is why she keeps lying to them#all of my steps are already well-off to wealthy but still choose to live Like That (coughcainecough)#anyway! thank you again for the ask lori!#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#sidestep#fhr
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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