#im just so tired of being treated like shit tbh
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friends arent supposed to make u feel like garbage
#last night i was out with my usual friends and one of them is kind of estranged from the group like she pretty much isolates herself and#barely ever comes out with us when we askā¦ just when she feels like it and she is just a very peculiar personā¦. acts very selfishly and#refuses to talk about personal stuff with us (literally her closest friends) and also seems to not care about our personal stuffā¦ basically#she only cares about gossip and small talk and literally once said our purpose in her life was to take her mind off of things and she didnt#want anything else from usā¦ā¦. so yeah#yesterday i was having a terrible day and at some point another friends asked me how i was and if i had updates and whatever.. and they kno#about the whole psychiatrist thing and how im very depressedā¦ this other friend didnt know about the psychiatrist ofc because she barely#ever comes out with us but yeah she asked me what visit i was referring to and i told her and then i just said how much of a hard time i wa#having and how i didnt know really how to make it to march for the appointment because im just struggling too much#and my other friends were engaging with me as i was talking while the other one just sat back in her chair and looked at me bored and with#an annoyed expression and pretty much never talked to me all night and never replied to anything i said#also at various times while i was saying how i was struggling she pulled out her phone to do whatever#and my other friends noticed it too#and we talked about it on the way home#my sister always asks why im even friends with her because every behavior she has is so selfish and just not acceptable from a friend#im just so tired of being treated like shit tbh
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I have this stupid idea that Bucky knew that āold Steveā wasnt his Steve because of the color of his eyes. And he justā¦ got tired of it all and just went with the motion.
Because he cant have anything good, right?
āHe wasnāt Steve, Samā
āWhat do you mean? Ohā¦ Do you mean your Steve, because ofā¦.?ā
āNo, I mean that THAT PERSON wasnāt Steve, his eyes were too blue, too perfectā
āWell yeah, Steve had blue eyes Bucky. I donāt understandā
āHe had some green in them too, the eyes of that person were just blue, nothing moreā
#idk why but yep#i know someone already had this idea but yepyep#silly headcanon#i havent watched the series bc I dont have the attention span and tbh I dont see most things after endgame as canon#but yep#captain america headcanon#skrull replaced Cap#and maybe Steve is somewhere in the eather or some shit like that bc he tried to change the timeline anyway#i mean Steve Rogers wouldnāt sacrifice everything for Bucky and then fuck off to Peggy again#he just wouldnāt#I would have loved they had another idea to give the shield to Sam#but eh#idk man#Tbh this isnāt even about ships#its about Steveās morals and values and character arc#and they destroyed my boy#im really pissed off still#after all this time#YES I TOOK THAT STUPID QUOTE AND WENT WITH IT#Im tired man#i love Steve so much and they destroyed him#captain america#Steve rogers headcanon#I also think Steve would work with Loki and they would become something like friends#idk man im just being delusional at this point#prompt stucky#???#tbh the worst thing is that even in fics people treat Steve like shit and-#i cry
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i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal#so fucking tired oh my god#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you#theres a reason im always the person you go to#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??#does it need to be completely equal to be fair#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me#a little more than they were supposed to#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh#š
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hii how have you been?
i miss my family š§āāļø
#my mom sent me a video about once your child leaves the mom also needs them#to like be there for them when their mom is stressed when their mom misses them#and i cried for a bit bc i argued with my mom a lot#we didnt see eye to eye but i really do think my mom still thinks of me as her little girl#bc despite not being as close i am to my mom compared to my dad i felt like i had so much burdens for being the eldest and girl#so sometimes i would get upset that my brother would get some special treatment from my mom#idk now i just rlly miss her cuz i miss actly waking up to have brekkie w her#i rlly missed cooking w her b4 i didnt like it bc i thought it was bothersome but now i miss it a lot and her cooking !!!#one of my roommates are husband and wife and i helped cut up the onions and garlic for her bc she started crying from the onions#and then i just completely rmbrd how many times my mom would ask me to help her cook and it makes me miss jmy family !!#i dont rlly get homesick often but i have been in a few arguments w my husband but its like those small quarrels where we're both#tired stressed n feeling defeated like there was no wrong but mentally tapped out#i feel hella lonely tbh ion have many friends outside from me talking to my roommates or my coworkers#and i go once a month to my friends thats an hour and half away but i never mind the travel bc their family treats me well#im supposed to go today but our plans got cancelled and since the travel is far i usually sleepover we were gonna watch a movie !!#we were gonna go watch the mario movie but i might go by myself w my teddy bear#or i'll ask my coworker maybe#but yeah other than that im just trying to survive xoxo im so tired#im also getting so much free cosmetics skincare and fragrances at work that i cant even use all of it#tha shit is displayed on my shelves just cuz#but so excited for my smau heheheheh#ą¼*Ā·Ė koca has heard your wish#ą¼*Ā·Ė a kiss of blessing#ą¼*Ā·Ė a wish upon a goddess#ą¼*Ā·Ė freddie <3
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why are glasses so expensiveeeee
#glad they do the 2 for 1 thing here bc I'll need a lab pair I can put in a safety goggle frame & and a general use pair#got my eyes tested and yeah my astigmatism is a lot worse LOL well it has been forever since i last had em checked#and i was wondering why looking at screens is so difficult and why my vision is sooo bad cycling at night i get crazy glare#well. one week til i can pick them up and then hopefully no more headaches and i wont get into any car accidents lmao#i mean my vision isnt THAT dire I can see fine without glasses just uncomfortable innit. esp if i have to focus#picked up my mail too so thats done... dont rly wanna leave the house again until climbing tn so im just gonna chill#also bought myself mouthwashing as a treat... it is my week off after all :3 i think im gonna watch a movie first tho so i can sort out#admin stuff and update my planner......and maybe journal a bit i have some shit I wanna work out#mildly annoying i wont be able to pin my roommate down to talk over the next few days bc im going out tn and tmr night#and we were gonna hang during the day bc she has time off work too but shes said she'll be too tired so she'll just be in her cave#and then idk if she did make plans for the weekend in the end but tbh if I cant talk to her abt shit beforehand I'll cancel for this time#I'm tired of every group social thing w her being tainted by this I just wanna have fun & not feel shit for being alienated for once#it was my friends birthday this week and id like to do smth nice w them but if we both go together ik she'll just upset me#unintentionally bc i havent been able to talk to her abt it yet. but still.#maybe ill just make separate plans w our friend then i dont wanna be an asshole to them bc i have a problem with someone else entirely#anyway. its not that deep just need to clear things up. fucking hell can my stomach stop COMPLAINING its not lunch yet!!!!#its okay. grrrrrrr. maybe if i have a snack itll calm down. i rly need another drs appt to bring up my physical issues but whatever#dealing w the depression is the priority hopefully my digestive system and menstrual cycle wont kill me in the meantime#okay thats my oversharing done for this thursday morning love u guys bye#.diaries
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i am sane and normal and goign to smoke after this post to become even more sane and even more normal
#theres no point to stumbling my way through this and hoping i settle alright on the other side#i ruin everything i put my hands on - im terribly abusive and everyone is too afraid of me retaliating to say anything so theyre silent#i bitch and whine so much about how 'traumatized' i am meanwhile ive ruined the life of anyone thats known me for even a week#where do i get off acting like every 'abusive' situation ive been in Wasnt my fault and or karma for the way i treat others#no wonder im going to die alone! god i fucking deserve it! i chase off anyone good to me by being a toxic piece of shit#and anyone that stays just gets more and more worn down by me until theres nothing left of them and they ahve to leave too#im so tired of being an abusive friend to anyone that knows me i am jsut a terrible leech onto anyone thats ncie to me#i need to kms SOON so i can fucking stop i might [ā ā ā ] just bc i think thatd actually Work . n i need to find a place to do it#im realizing its a bit insensitive to do it in my room and my second choice was the park but thats also a bit insensitive so idk anywhere#theres gotta be a hiking trail thats close Enough but still isolated to the point that nobody would stumble on me before planned discovery#and then i can remove a negative impact from the lives of so many#i keep thinkign about burning myself instead of cutting but i liek . dont know Where to do it so i keep putting it off#im so sad i just want to be good and helpful and get loved in return i want to cry into someones chest rn#i am such a bad bad bad dog i deserve everything i get and worse tbh caus clearly my weak ass āāāātraumaāāāā is all made up#good god i need to get over myself and jsut commit already
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hmmm idk if this is anything, but rosquez as romcom co stars that keep getting cast together even though they hateee each other but the chemistry is too good?
this is fun because like. it keeps some of my favorite little rosquez saw traps and wraps them up for me like a little treat. forced proximity public pda and EXTREME media scrutiny kind of their bread and butter tbh. make them crazy make them kiss im watching like tashi in the hotel scene in challengers
like marc as a young tom cruise esque (sorry. SORRY. im sorryyyyy) action star who does all of his own stunts loves the physicality of acting loves getting to pretend to do crazy stuff and be a HEROOOO but still kind of plays the same exact character every time. BIG smile always standing on apple boxes to make himself seem taller as he attempts to generate chemistry with whatever actress is his badly written love interest of the day (marc would be SO good in the mission impossible movies im sorry he WOULD be like. can i parachute off of a motorcycle into a ravine please please please youre NOTHING. santi is his extremely stressed stunt coordinator. lmao.) versus vale who came up doing indie movies as a teen in the 90s (his lil face would DOMINATE gay cinephile gifset tumblr) before launching himself to super stardom with a string of successful comedies and sort of settling into that because its easy... secretly frustrated no one will let him bust out his drama chops... BIG chip on his shoulder here a la leaving honda for yamaha etc
so eventually both of them are getting a little tired of being pigeon holed. and decide 2 book a serious ass gay romantic drama. they are tired of being hailed as the kings of fiction for the masses and they want to win at acting!! they get into the chemistry read (marc is still pretty young i think) and its. insane. INSTANT. james dean and marlon brando levels of ARE YOU TWO FUCKING?? but they literally just met. and marc has been a fan of vale's forever but not just the comedies also his earlier dramatic stuff (apocalyptic little gay crush) and they have similar taste in movies and vale is sooooo funny and it is OFF to the races. like. i cannot emphasize this enough they are fucking the WHOLE time. every scene in this movie its just leaping off the screen... they go in to film and its like that BTS clip of the americans where the director was having matthew rhys and keri russell do a sex scene and theyre suspiciously comfortable pretending to 69 and he turns to his assistant and just goes. oh yeah these guys have fucked. they are wayyyy to comfy hitching the other's pussy into their face lmao. just fucking going for it. the director is like hey guys. can you tone it down a little. marc biggggg smile okayyyyyy :3
and the movie comes out and they attend the premiere all smiley and bouncy and feeling really good about the project and then, theyy watch it. and its like. uh oh! not a lot of acting happening there ! um. best performance of either of their careers and they both look at it an can identify all the points they werent acting like evil little signal flares.... and vale shuts marc out HARD yadayadayada the Usual Rosquez Breakup Ensues.... until they both get cast in a revival of the brokeback mountain stage play and shit pops off in the most nuclear explosion of horny heartbreak to ever hit the STAGEā¦
#could also do the vintage hollywood broke up because they were in the closet and almost outed thing.#and then they get casted in a newman redford type homoerotic buddy comedy and fall back in love#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez#bet with myself to see how many times i can reference challengers on rosquez asks. hashtag influencer.#okay this has been in my drafts to the pint i canāt stand looking at it. be freeeeeeee
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Iām not sure if America does this much, but from where I am, a grade is able to travel to a different country for around a week or two for educational purposes (e.g Italy, France, Etc.) So,,, any Papercut Hcs for that? (Taken that they were able to make up the money for that, maybe Pony took up extra jobs to earn the money.)
ik what ur talking about!!! i dont think its common for a WHOLE GRADE to do it, but ik wym!!!!
OK SO
ā¢lets say theyāre traveling to france (ewwwwšš but trust me, makes sense later), their language class was french and they were like āman y dont we all travel to france to test out skills n have funā
ā¢gonna b frank w u, pony, curly, and their families were hesitant on it, MOSTLY bc of money restraints but when it comes to pony, its bc he just never traveled out the country before, let alone all by himself
ā¢ curly rlly has no aspirations to travel anywhere but then he realized that if pony left, he would b bored out his mind cayse who else can he annoy as well as he does w pony??? so he was on board!!
ā¢look, getting that money was a hard time for all, tim and curly did more jobs, darry and soda worked their asses off and so did pony, but at the end of the day, they did it (also some of it was covered for everyone bc of some socās rich ass dad)šš½šš½
ā¢when the packed, they damn near packed everything they had bc they just dont have much, it was like they were going away foreverš
ā¢look, curly (and angela, shes here too!!! :3) r haitian immigrants, they knowwwww french bc they HAD to learn it in haiti to get through the education system, hell theyre probably one of the few ppl who even know it fluently out this whole grade, everyone else was lowkey bullshittin
ā¢curlys basically ponys translator for everything, and curly WILL use it to his advantage, ponys always smarter than him but HERE??? HEEEE has the upper hand, plus, this means pony being clingy
ā¢but his french was a lil rusty bc he wouldnt rlly speak it a lot, even in class he wouldnt rlly speak
ā¢pony had this āintroduction to frenchā book darry gave him bc darry can actually speak french bc of the class!!!
ā¢curly and angela CANNOOTTT see the eiffel tower as being romantic btw, that shit was built w haitian money they hate france man (YES, im airing out some of my grievances i hate france dudešš), if pony mentioned the tower near curly heād roll his eyes, ALSO BC HE FOUND IT TO B CORNY
ā¢curly and pony keep getting lost dude, its like hell on earth, YES, france is walkable, but that probably just makes it worse for them bc theyre walking far in the wrong wayš
ā¢u can def tell theyre american tourist, but i dont think curly would care, ponys trying to keep a low profile tho
ā¢i dont think they rlly, like french food that much, not even that it taste bad or anything just not their cup of tea, honestly
ā¢if i remember right, france has a problem w pick pocketers and i PROMISE u that wouldnt slide w either of em, they WILL fight u over itš
ā¢angela was excited to try the macarons!!! honestly like top thing she liked there probably, maybe she also flirted w some guys in french, got some perfume, she treated it like a vacation more than like something educational, she knew french already this was USELESS to her
ā¢pony loved the museums, and wouldve liked it MORE if curly didnt RUSH him all the time bc he was bored, curlys the kind of guy to only go to museums for the gift shop and tbh??? so real
ā¢they were able ti get a room together at a hotel thankfully, and half the time in it was NOT spent sleeping, it was spent w curly making stupid jokes and pony laughing so they were tired in the morning
ā¢let them have some souvenirs, they deserve it!!!pony tried to get something each for the gang, curly got something STUPID for tim, angela got a cute gift for herself
ā¢pony promised to take pics while he was there and he did, but some of the pics had curly being a dumbass in itšš
anyways i went through this whole post without making a kanye west joke, im truly growing to b more mature
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Oops
Pairing: wooyoung x y/n
Genre: fluff, chaotic fluff lol
Warnings: some cursing(I gotta stay minimal with it tho bc I write these on my school comp š) , wooyoung is kinda panicking lol, wooyoung is called an attention whore but in a good way pls dont hate me š ,reader is called ning like 3 times , grammar might not be correct I'm tired lol, I think that's it
Summary: wooyoung is confused on how you got into his heart, he never told anyone about his mental list he made, not even san so that should say something, so how did you do it? Was its on purpose to mess with him? Or on accident
Wc. 1.69k
A/n I wanted to write and I had just reread @yuyusuyu princess chronicles and I wanted to do something similar with wooyoung :) pls I'm dieing I h8 using ppls ideas but I'm in writers block and I need to write rn š so creds to @yuyusuyu for the idea lol I hope this is good cuz I luv her work and I don't wanna ruin her reputation lol I also have a feeling this is gonna be a short fic bc again I'm in writers block and that's all i can take rn lolz
Wooyoung never thought he could find a relationship that was near the thing he and san had going on (even san doesnt know whats happening tbh), but here we are, you slowly winning over his heart. How? He doesn't know. He has a very very very very very- i can keep going but what i mean is he has a very secret procedure that even san doesnt know about, but it's a way you can take over his love life, so you somehow slowly completing the 5 steps was very concerning.
Step 1. Treat him like royalty
Well you don't have to bow down and worship him but you just have to treat him him like the mona lisa, praise him- and maybe worship him, he likes to be praised and feel noticed-attention whore is his middle name after all- so when you walk into the room with him and everyone else and you notice him first and COMPLIMENT HIM AND ONLY HIM?!?! He was feeling a little lightheaded, ā oh hi woo! I like your hair, it looks different! In a good way of course-ā you said slightly rambling at the end ā oh- um yeaā¦ i um-ā he stumbled out ā i uh WASHED IT, yea, yea i washed it." He said trying to redeem himself and act cool because seonghwa was looking at him weird. ā for once you washed itā san said scoffing, without him knowing- or did he? San had saved him from an awkward situation āHEY i do wash my hair thank you very muchā he said huffing, pouting but quickly opening his eyes when he heard you laugh.
Step 2. Find him funny
(or just try to laugh at his ridiculous jokes)
The sound of your laughter filled his dorm, san had left to go out with Seonghwa, leaving him alone and so of course he invited you just so he could hang out with his now crush for a movie night!! Why else would he invite you overā¦?He found himself in a trance listening to your laughs, they sounded like music to his ears, literally he was listening to the rhythm in your laughs and thought they sounded so much like you, the beat matched your personality. ā wooyoung stop that's weird, and nothing like you.ā he said when he came out of his little bubble when ever he heard your voice tinted with worry as your friend was looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face and was very silent, which was very concerning given its wooyoung. The look of worry on your face made his heart flutter, where you really worried for himā¦? ā shit im fuckedā he thought
Stept 3. Worry/care for him
ā wooyoung? Are you in there?ā your voice sounding small compared to the yelp wooyoung let out upon hearing your voice in his dorm.ā OW SHIT, ning is that you?!ā he yelped, he had hurt his leg and couldn't attend practice, him not being there worried you given he had always been there, so you went to his dorm. āWoo what were you thinking laying on the edge of the couch,be careful you could hurt yourself more if you do that?!ā You said scolding him lightly,the worry in your face very clear,ā you didn't hurt yourself more did you?, here let me get you some food so you don't have to walk.ā wooyoung hoped you didn't notice the slight blush on his face when you lifted his chin forcefully checking to see if he hurt his face during the fall. ā Goddammit, step 3 , 2 more to go and I'm done for..ā he mumbled ā did you say something?ā you said, peaking your head out of the other room. ā OH-UM-NO '' he quickly said, hoping you don't suspect anything and hoping you truly had not heard anything he said.
Step 4. Being rough with him.
(do i really ahve to explain?)
Wooyoung's heart fluttered when you cupped his face and moved it left to right to see if he had hurt his face, he had fallen trying to learn how to skate. He had failed horribly but that's not what mattered right now, what mattered was you were holding his face. ā Wooyoung, I told you, you have to be more carefulā you said with a slight pout, worried about your best friend. You had to put your whole body strength into helping him up because he was so zoned out all his body weight was on the floor. But the words that snapped him out of his little trance were enough to heal him right then and there ā when we get home do you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?ā
Step 5. Physical affection.
āNinggg hurry up and bring the popcornā wooyoung shouted, he had been alone in his and sans dorn because apparently san couldn't deal with wooyoung's ramblings about you so he left with seonghwa, of well at least that means he can invite you over more right? Wrong, this is the first time in weeks he's invited you over because he couldn't muster up the courage to ask you.ā I'm right here..?ā you said laughing when he turned around and saw you, his eyes widened in amazement on how you could find that much popcorn in his house, where it came from? No idea he's been trying to find popcorn for a month and has found none so how did you find some? No clue, but he didn't really care as his heart picked up when you sat very close to him. Very close.and his heart picked up even more realizing you two were watching a scary movie. He could be your knight in shining armor and hold you close when you got scared. Well you ended up holding him like he's a baby but that didn't matter to him even though he's going to be very embarrassed later. What mattered right now to him was trying to calm his heart, from the jumpscares and the fact that you two were there cuddling?! Mostly the first option , but hey those things were scary, don't judge>:(
Another time he found himself in this situation was on his birthday, wooyoung and you tangled up in each other limbs, the others where getting the place ready so of course you offered to keep him busy while the others fixed up the dorm for him, so you invited him over, which he couldn't say no to you. He was laying on you the couch and you were running your hands through his hair, which in hindsight helped him alot with what he was going to ask you. You had single handedly finished all 5 steps without knowing? Or maybe you did know? He doesn't know but he needs to ask you about it. It's been eating him alive for the past week. He knows he shouldn't ask on his birthday because what if you say no? But he couldn't wait because, what if you say yes? No birthday present could top that. Here he goes, his heart racing he manages to strangle out a ā hey ningā¦? ā ew he thought, why did it sound like that, he was cringing until he heard you say back ā yes? Did you need something?ā you smiling down at him calmed him down a lot more than he thought ā can i ask you something?ā he took a deep breath ā of course, anything wooā you laid your phone down to put all attention on him, still playing with his hair. ā i um- do you um ā he stuttered ā dammitā he said sitting up ā is there something wrong wooyoung?ā concern filling your face ā i like you. Like I ālike likeā you.ā he said getting it out there, but before you could say anything he continued ā and i was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometimeā¦?ā he couldn't look you in the face because he felt like he would explode. For real he was holding his breath for so long he felt like he was going to burst. ā woo i-ā you giggled and he turned around ready to be faced with rejection. ā of course i willā you cupped his face and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He looked like a lost puppy, eyes wide and frozen in shock ā wait you- you like me to?ā ugh he sounded like a 2nd grader finding out their crush likes them back. ā Of course I do woo, who wouldn't love you?ā you giggled at the end. Just as wooyoung went to speak he got interrupted by your phone going off saying it was time to bring him back to the dorm for his surprise.
Hwa: hey were done over here if you wanna bring him back
You: okay! But warn san if he's coming back to stay with wooyoung lol
Hwa: oh good lord
Smiling at yourself you took him by the hand and told him you two where going back to his dorm for something.Lets just say he went back to the dorm holding your hand and he was the happiest birthday boy in the world. But wooyoung had one more question before he went back to the dorm "wait so did you know about the list or not?" He questioned you "what list?" You questioned back "wait so your telling me you completed a whole goddammit list without knowing it ever even existed?!" He squealed out "Oops" you shrugged and laughed
#wooyoung fluff#wooyoung x reader#ateez x reader#ateez wooyoung#ateez fanfic#wooyoung#ateez#help hes so cute
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my initial thoughts on the bear s3 (having only gotten to ep 5)
im not even mad ab the whole sydcarmy breakdown in s3 rn Iām just like disappointed because what the fuck man
Iām only on ep 5 and Iām not gonna lie to yāall if this was as good and actually interesting as season 2 Iād be eating it up and binging that shit as much as I did last year. Well now I rlly canāt because I just HAD to rewatch the show w my parents so now that means I have to wait until theyāre in the mood to watch it to watch it with them so I donāt feel like Iām betraying them for watching episodes on my own (mostly my mom tbh) but like ts is NOT speaking to me man
like I NEVER use āmanā at the end of my sentences like that only when Iām actually exasperated and fucking tired of the shit something or somebody is pulling
Like FROM WHAT IVE SEEN this season has only showed me that like OKAY I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FAKS IM JUST SEEING THEM WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH LIKEā¦WHY IS JOHN CENA HERE STOP TRYING TO MAKE SHIT INTERESTING BY INSERTING RANDOM FUCKING CELEBRITIES INTO YO SHIT FIRST OF ALL
SECONDLY Iām pissed with how CARMY IS TREATING MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEEN PRINCESS DUCHESS SYDNEY
Like what happened man š
It was legitimately going so so so SO WELL IN SEASON TWO
LIKE I HAD HOPE INDISPUTABLE HOPE ABOUT THEM GETTING TOGETHER
LIKE HUH
but then this WHITE MAN has the nerve to treat her like GARBAGE
FIRST FROM GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH RICHIE FOR NO FUCKING REASON CAUSING RICHIE TO FALL OVER AND SPILL ALL OF THE HARD EXPO ORDER WORK SYDNEY WAS WORKING ON
LIKE I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE BYE RESTAURANT WITH NO FUCKING SIGN ON THE FRONT LIKE WHO DO YALL THINK YALL AREEE
ALSO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL AS HELL
DISRESPECTFUL THAT THIS NIGGA IS ASKING HER āWHAT DO I DO WITH CLAIRE???ā LIKE LMAO WHY NOBODY GIVE A FUCK
I THINK IM MOVING TO THE SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT THAT SYDNEY DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS MAN
AND I WIULDVE THOUGHT HE WOULDVE BEEN AT LEAST A LITTLE, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE GENTLRR WITH HER DURING COOKING TOME OR WHAGEVER TF BUT HE STILL JUST AS GORDON RAMSAY-ISH WITH HER LIKE WITH ANYONE
WTF DID WE DO STORER
LIKE WHY R U BEING A BITCH ABOUT SYDCARMY SHIPPERS LIKE U JUST PUT A BIG ASS HOLE IN THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP
LIKE OKAY THEY DONT HAVE TO GET TOGEHRHER WHATEVER IF THEY DONT ILL STILL BE PISSED BUT WHATEVER
BUT I FEEL LIKE
UGH IDK
I CAME TO SEE A LIL ROMANCE THE NITTY GRITTY. LIKE EW HOW THE HELL ARE YALL GOING TO BE SHOWING CLAIRE AND CARMY KISSING IN THE DARK LIKE I DONT CARE WHAT TYPE OF WORK SHE DOES I DONT GAF AB WHAT SHE DO FOR WORK LIKE I APPRECIATE HER BEING A NICE PERSON TO THESE KIDS AND STUFF BUT CMON
CARMY AINT CALL HER NOT ONCE THIS WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN WATCHING
RICHIE IS THE ONLY ONE IM FR INTERESTED IN MARCUS TOO BECAUSE HE TRYNA DO SOME EXPERIMENTAL SHIT OUTSIDE OF THIS STRSSSFUL ASS ENVIRONMENT
AND SINCE WHEN DID THEY STILL OPERATE THE BEEF?!? I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THAT SINCE WHRN IS A BRANCH OF THAT STILL OPERATING AND WHY IS ONLY EBRA IN CHARGE?!?
I THOUGHT THEY BUILT OVER THE RESTAURANT AND TURNED IT INTO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS NOW I MIGHTA MISSED A PLOT POINT BUT I DONT REMEMBER THAT EVEN BEING SAID
ALSO WHI IS THAT MAN WHO WALTZED INTO THE BEAR REASTUARSNT AND WAS TALKING W CARMY AS HE WAS CUTTING SOME SHIT AND WHO ALSO WAS AT THE WINDOW OF THE BEEF LIKE WHO ARE YOU HO LIKE R U A FAK OR WHAT BITCH
CARMY IS JUST TOO SAME OLD SAME OLD FOR ME LIKE CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES
LIKE I UNDERSTAND RICHIE ON THE FIRST EP LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN UR SORRY WHEN U LITERALLY CALLED ME A LEECH FOR WANTING TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE ONE TO RLLY CALL HIS OWN?!?!? LIKE CARMY CAN YOU CHILL OUT THIS MAN ACTUALLY LOVES YOU NO PAWSE
from what Iāve watched already its okay NOT TO SAY THE ACTORS ARE BECAUSE THE ACTORS DID AN INCREDIBLE PERFOMANCE AS USUAL LIKE THEIR SKILLS ARE STILL GREAT BUT I DONT LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE YALL DOIN WITH THAT AND ITS PISSING ME AWFF DONT PMOOOOO
ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR DO I FEEL LIKE THE BLACK CHARACTERS ARENT GETTING SHIT THIS SEASON
LIKE MARCUS AND TINA..OKAY OKAY THEY GOT THEY LIL EPISODES
BUT WHAT AB NOW IN THE PRESENT
I THINK WHO IM MAINLY TALKING AB IS SYD, EBRA, AND GARY I DAMN NEAR FORGOT HIS NAME BECAUSE WE NEVER EVER EVERRRR SEE HIM. EVER.
LIKE I ACTUALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM HE SEEMS COOL
okay main points:
* syd deserves better
* syd needs to stop being a lil mean to her dad idk I might be soft but like (it HAD to be said cs why r u being so rude to him for having genuine concerns about this murky ass apartment u finna dig into yo pockets to pay for?? ALSO this sussy ass partnership w this man liiiiiiokeā¦)
* they seemed to care more ab carmys failing and anticlimactic relationship with claire than marcusās late mother (ALSO I couldnāt help but notice SYDNEY was the only one, THE ONLY ONE who came to support this man as they were cleaning his momās hospice equipment out of his houseā¦LIKE YALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO COME HELP??? like okay they came to his funeral which I appreciate yāknow but still that part irks me)
* ts feels like filler at its finest somebody already said that but I felt like it had to be restated, like if CLAIRE YO
* IF CLAIRE IS THE MAIN DAMN PLOT POINT FOR THIS NIGGA CARMY RN AND IS THE ONE DRIVING HIM TO DO ALL THIS CRAZY NONNEGOTIABLE SHIT TO GET HIS MIND OFF OF IT IM DONE
* okay Iām done thank yāall for listening
* also Iām writing this on my notes app so I just copied it over
*ok bye yāall ty for listening !!! :3
UPDATE: I just read a few posts on here giving different perspectives and now I feel like I mightāve missed some stuff š
like maybe this is just setting it up to LOOK LIKE syd and carmy arenāt ever happening just to make season 4 and have them
idk how to even end that sentence
#the bear#the bear season 3#icantwiththisnewseasonyall#isitcrazyformetosaythat#like ugh#ihadmyhopesupmanbecauseyknowwhowouldsaytheresnoromanceintheshowADAYBEFOREITSRELEASE?!?likeitsoundedliekitwassupposedtobeasurrpriseatfirstbu#sydcarmy#sydcarmyisgoingdownhillandweārewitnessingitLIVE#hello dubai#zontplaywme#you mean to tell me#imadeawholeplaylistforthisshipforitnottoevenmanifestintothebearreality?!?#likeimightjustHAVEtopickuprealityshftingsoicancomeoverthereandslapsomeshitintocarmy#U FINNA FUMBLE THIS BAD BITCH
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Okay Jes, so, I took a poll a while back to figure out what Sky should be for the monster AU. Heās a Changeling now. Basically, a fairy-or maybe some other creature who knows-swapped him out with a regular Hylian when he was very young. Maybe the original Link and his family died in an accident or something, and Sky was left if his originalās place. What if one of the Golden Goddesses did it, OH what if his Loftwing did it! Thatās why they connected so easily, the Loftwing was tasked by the goddess or something to leave Sky on Skyloft and stuff idk Iām making this up as I go.
Anyways, changeling lore(screenshot from Wikipedia)
Sky is shorter than some of the other Links(heās like in the middleish of height), heās like 5ā3 but heās shorter than a good chunk of other Skyloftians(I think itās been a while). He can also have those sharp, almost shark-like teeth, they can be a bit long and pointy, as a treat. Also, uncanny insight? Like a speed runner would have? Sorry, Iām a bit nonsensical right now, anyhow Sky, displaying unusual behavior? Yeah, I can see that. Mf jumped on a chandelier and thatās not even the weirdest thing heās done.
Sky didnāt realize he was a Changeling until Impa(I donāt know if old or young Impa would be better tbh) told him he was. He did not take that well, he knew he was weird, that he was different from everybody else, but he didnāt think heĀ wasnāt even one of them. By the time LU happened, heās more okay about his state of being, but he still thinks of himself as a Hylian first, monster second.
I think that when Sky first meets Wars, he tries to be like āhello fellow Hylian! I am normal like you, do not worry!ā But Wars, being a human, is able to detect monsters easier than most hylians would. Also heās spent a lot of time with fairies, and Changelings are intrinsically fae-like, so Wars just looks him dead in the eye and says āI know what you are.ā He doesnāt, he has a clue but he knows that Sky isnāt Hylian and does not want to deal with that right now. Sky thinks they already have bad blood between them, but they donāt, Wars is just tired of theĀ everything.
Anyways, thatās enough of that semi-coherent rambling, hope you have a great rest of your day!
IM OBSESSED WITH THIS IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS OH MY GOD EATING IT I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH
also i saw the āi know what you areā and I have no idea if you meant Wars would say it in a homophobic dog kinda way or a kobeni losing her fucking shit kinda way and my brain combined them into something so cursed and so fucking funny i spent the past four minutes in tears gasping for fucking air
i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day as well!! :)
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hii ive never requested before so this is kinda scary tbh .... im not sure if your mental health requests are still open but if they are, can i request one with either hongjoong or jongho that's up to u! (since i noticed u already had alot with hongjoong already ..) where reader has an eating disorder because of insecurities and is trying to recover but some days fall back into old habits. And how he would comfort you and help you back on track
thank you so much for this btw <3 I've read all of your mental health series since i myself am struggling alot with my mental health and I'm sure it means alot to other people too who also struggle, you're doing sm people a favor š
Jongho helps you with eating disorder
Masterlist
Mental Health Request
Paring : Idol Jongho x Reader
Word count : 1.6k
Song šµ : Those eyes by New West
Genre : Soft, Comfort, Fluff
4:45 p.m.
Everyone in the agency treats you very well after you got attached with Jongho. Specially when you are the girlfriend of their life maknae. They adore you like a little sister too and you love them with all of their heart which is why going to meet them is your favorite part of the day. Specially when you are feeling down.
As you walk inside the agency you meet with San, "Y/n, wassup," he immediately pulls you for a hug.
When he releases the hug, his eyes get big, "Damn, you look pale. Are you feeling alright?"
"Yes, it's just. Maybe I am tired," you didn't even know when was the last time you ate something. But that is good, right? You have become so fat nowadays. Isn't that why you can't move properly? You feel suffocated and confined around your body. Only skipping food can make it alright.
"I'm going to buy some ice creams. Coming back in a few minutes," he winks before passing away.
You enter in the elevator and reach inside the practice room where you see them sitting on the floor, giggling with one another. You automatically smile seeing Jongho's gummy smile as Mingi gets scared when Jongho tried to hit him.
Suddenly Jongho notices you and stands up, "Y/n, you are here!"
He immediately pulls you into an embrace soaking your empty heart, maybe your empty stomach too.
"You don't look so good. What's up? Are you not taking meals properly?" Jongho asks you and in reply you only smile.
"Yes, you look like you have lost a lot of pounds. What's wrong?"
You feel uncomfortable hearing Wooyoung through these words at you. Because all you think about is how ugly you look. How bad your fat is making things for you.
"I-I am fine. I just wanted to meet you. I was thinking about you a lot," you tell Jongho with another smile but it doesn't convince him much.
"I'll take you to your favorite restaurant today. But first let's have ice cream after hyung brings them," he smiles at you pulling you inside.
You sit with them, keep listening to their bickerings and after sometimes San arrives with a box of ice creams.
You and Jongho share one big bucket which is butterscotch, your favorite one. But when you start to have the ice cream, you mind starts speaking to you calling you ugly shit, a pig and how you shouldn't eat like this.
"You are barely having these. Are you alright?" Jongho asks you and you nod.
"Maybe it's my period, I've lost appetite," you lie to him gripping your own shirt. You feel guilty for being this person but you can't help it.
"I-I am coming," you get up and run to the bathroom. You end up throwing up water and ice cream because that's all you've left inside your stomach. Your stomach hurts and your throat burns from the crazy sensation and how it is so hard to eat.
You leave the bathroom and see them cleaning up stuff for practicing.
"I'll have another lesson then we can go together. Can you wait?" Jongho asks you and you nod.
"That's my girl," he kisses you on the forehead smiling and goes back for the practice.
As you sit down to watch them practice, you start feeling drowsy and nauseous.
Jongho looks back at you asking if you are okay and you try to give him a reassuring smile that you are.
But it only gets worse when you get up wanting to leave the room. You grab the nob and try to open the door but suddenly everything feels hazy to your eyes. You stop feeling the ground underneath you and fall into deep sleep.
Hearing the deep thud from you passing out, Jongho comes running, "Y/n. Oh my God. Baby! What's wrong? Wake up. Come on, wake up!!"
The members look at each other hearing Jongho calling you baby which he never does.
"She will be fine. Let's call an ambulance," Hongjong says patting Jongho's back.
"Splash water on her face. She may wake up," Seonghwa suggests and Yunho brings a bottle full of water.
Jongho splashes the water on you but you don't open your eyes as the problem is something else.
"Why isn't she waking up? Oh man. This is so bad," Jongho is trembling as your head is on his lap. Your body has gone cold and you are barely breathing which starts concerning Jongho more.
The ambulance comes and he takes you in the hospital where Yeosang joins him.
šøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšøšø
As you wake up, you feel someone holding your hand sobbing.
"I am so sorry I didn't notice earlier. I am so fucking sorry," it's Jongho's voice you realize as you open your eyes.
"Oh my God. You are awake!!!" He hugs you tightly pressing himself against you.
You feel a saline pipe on the back of your hand when you hug him back. You look around and realize that you are in a hospital bed.
"What happened?" You ask him and he looks at you with blazing eyes.
"When was the last time you had a proper meal?" He throws the question at you with a demanding voice and you can't help but feel scared.
"I won't scold you, sweetheart. Please do tell me. When did you last have a proper meal?" He asks you so softly that your heart burns.
"I-I...maybe with you," you tell him which was four days ago.
"Seriously?" He looks like he snaps but he is mad at himself for not being able to take care of you.
Your scared face tells him you misunderstood him so he gets on the bed with you, "I am concerned about you because you have iron deficiency, lack of vitamin D, Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex. In total if I say, you are going through malnutrition. How do you think I'll feel if I get to know these?"
"I am sorry. I didn't m-" you break into tears but he cups your face into his palms.
"Hey, don't cry. I didn't want to make you cry. I am mad at myself for not being able to give you enough time to take care of you. If you were having a hard time to have food, you should have told me. I didn't even notice," he says like it is all his fault that you avoid food.
"Don't blame yourself for something I've been doing," you tell him holding his hands into yours.
"Baby, you have become my responsibility from the day I've started to have feelings for you. You are not only a part of my life. You have become my life. I can't think of a single day without you though I don't tell you these enough. But I am willing to tell you everything you need to hear for recovering as early as possible," he kisses your forehead and a drop of his tear fall on your cheek.
"All your sufferings are mine, all your pain is mine, all of your agony is mine. Don't you know that already. Why don't you eat sweetheart? Why? You used to love having food once," he asks you whispering the last words like if anyone is beside him they will know your secret or maybe it is his heart burning for you seeing you like this.
"I don't know. I feel like food is the reason everything is going wrong in my life. I need to fix everything. I feel hopeless, wrecked.The more I lose my weight, I feel like I need to lose more. I throw up everything I eat unintentionally. I feel so fucking disgusting when I eat something. It becomes hard for me to look in the mirror once I devour something," you tell him the truth but end up becoming a sobbing mess.
"Hey, we can work on it together. What if I was in your place? Wouldn't you do the same for me? Wouldn't you want to help me?" He asks and you nod.
"Then listen that I'll always be there for you no matter what. I'll help you gain confidence again. Please don't hide all these from me again?" He begs you kissing your knuckles and you smile.
After you get discharged, you start meeting a therapist with him. He has gone crazy over you nowadays because he keeps telling you how pretty you look, how perfect you are. He shows you mukbang day after day making your mouth water which is why you start to have food again. You take some suppliments to gain your appetite again which works very well.
Last time you checked, you have gained some pounds finally after hardworking. Specially with Jongho's support.
Most importantly he never reminds you of your food disorder. He makes you forget about you playing stupid food games and taking you to every new restaurants in the city making you taste new foods.
You thank yourself and him for coming this far after months torture on yourself. Because without him you wouldn't be able to beat this.
I myself wrote it with empty stomach but now I'm feeling fucking hungry
#ateez fanfic#ateez scenarios#ateez fluff#ateez yunho#ateez hongjoong#ateez smut#ateez mingi#ateez san#ateez seonghwa#ateez wooyoung#ateez jonho#ateez yeosang#ateez icons#ateezedit#ateez woosan#ateez masterlist#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez x reader#ateez#ateez choi jongho#choi jongho#jongho oneshot#jongho smut#jongho#jongho fluff#jongho scenario#jongho x reader#jongho ateez#jongho angst
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Iām so interested to see how everything plays out next chapter (and the ones that follow of course!)
All the info you share and your insights make me so excited!
Iām actually wondering if you are going to include anymore scenes with Chan and Pete together? I just really liked how you write their dynamic. Maybe Iām just not remembering and it is in the story but I was wondering how you see their relationship developing between when they first met when Pete started as a bodyguard and now? How he became important to Pete? Many thanks to anything you can share on that:)
Hope life is treating you well<3
oh thanks for saying so!! im glad youre enjoying the insights!!
yeah there's likely to be at least one more interaction scene between chan and pete i would say. i love the dynamic too!! hmm well tbh i see chan as kind of the tired uncle type like hes responsible for all of these guys (who lets be real are all a little immature at the best of times) so hes basically kid wrangling grown men hence the im too old for this shit vibe coming off him hahahahahah.
but tbh i think their dynamic is just chan favouring pete because hes responsible, keeps his head down and (usually) doesnt cause chan any headaches or problems- pete a very older sibling vibe for sure and chan enjoys being his mentor and senses petes didnt have the best upbringing just from how theyve interacted from the very beginning. pete would have been a bit standoffish- on his guard around chan when they first met but chan would have eventually earned his trust which is how they got to their current dynamic now.
i think chan recognises their relationship might be a little deeper than mentor/mentee- he sees that pete admires him though im not 100 per cent sure hes fully realised pete has kind of turned him into what an ideal father figure would be. chan is happy to give more to those who need different support from him- so hes never tried to distance himself from pete and is happy to let pete set the standard of what he wants their interactions to be because hes a good teacher. chan gets a lot of fulfillment out of training and being responsible for all of these people, some of the older ones he treats like brothers and comrades but the rest are his pseudo kids so he wants the best for pete, wants to see him succeed and wants to protect him however he can. he knows pete is a suffer in silence type which is why he checks in with him more than others who might be more direct about coming to him with their problems.
basically just to sum it up he became important to pete based on how he treated pete the entire time hes been there with the main family. pete likes to surround himself with complicated but good people and chan is just another reflection of that!
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I know I havenāt been able to shut up about mickey mouse nonstop but sighs!!!! Iāve seen meta fics about toons existing in real life but still being the product of their creators and how that life is like a la Who Framed Roger Rabbit and when it comes to mickey either heās an spoiled, egotistical asshole who treats his friends like shit and only pretends to be nice for the cameras, or he IS actually nice but also completely sanitized and passive under Disney and everyone shits on him for being so naive or whatever and both takes suck ass tbh
And itās like. God how do I even phrase this.
I wanna see toon meta stuff where Mickey is still fundamentally kind and friendly and also so so SO unbelievably tired after almost a fucking century and has a MUCH lower threshold for bullshit as a result
A Mickey who has always loved to make people happy with his acting and still does in theory but also has become completely disillusioned with Disneyās business ethics and is now counting the milliseconds until heās released into the public domain
A Mickey who adores his friends and particularly loves Minnie more than anything and viceversa not because they were made to be a couple but because witnessing and living so many things together over so many years has made them understand each other better than anyone else (and that love can be romantic or not, depending on your read on it; it shouldnāt change the trust in each other either way)
A Mickey who can make crass jokes and swear because screw you, just because heās a kidsā cartoon doesnāt mean heās a baby and heās really tired of being treated like one, specially when heās not even on the clock.
A Mickey who has a complicated relationship with Walt andā yeah, maybe he DID see him as something of a father once but over the years heās come to realize he was really just his boss at best.
A Mickey who is aware of his (im)mortality and has lived too much but not aged enough and who has outlived so many humans and toons alike while wondering if heāll ever see the end. If heāll even want it or be ready for it.
(Also he probably spent months trying to figure out how smartphones work and is perpetually disappointed the 21st century doesnāt have flying cars like in The Jetsons and sometimes you can see his soul crumble to dust in casual conversation because what do you mean the 50ās were 70 years ago and not last decade????? Huh????)
A Mickey who can do whatever the hell he wants with his gender and sexual/romantic orientation because come one man, itās been 90+ years. You really think he wouldnāt at least be questioning after all that time?
A Mickey who is very, very sick of people, complete strangers, thinking that because they only know him from his cartoons means they have him all figured out and can make assumptions on who he is or who he HAS to be instead of. you know. get to know him like an actual person
(A Mickey who still wonders in his lowest moments IF heās even a person and not just a commodity to be sold, a brand pasted on overpriced merchandise)
A Mickey who is depressed and anxious and angry and scared and bitter at all once and is still learning to allow himself to feel all of those things without letting them define him because thatās not the kind of person he wants to be, even if he does have enough reasons to be. Who despite everything still latches on kicking and screaming to joy and whimsy and life and love because he refuses to fall into apathy. A Mickey that isnāt naive or a pushover just because heās nice, but isnāt cruel or apathetic either just because he isnāt sunshine and rainbows every waking second
#mickey mouse#headcanons#text#āare you okayā I HAVE TO GO BACK TO CLASS IN A WEEK#pleeeeeeeease understand my vision
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Forever and a day (KTH x READER) seriesā” silent treatment cant last forever (chapter 5)
Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.
Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.
Pairing: taehyung x female!reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)
word count- 4.1k
chapter warnings: swearing, tae is struggling :( kaito is a fucking LOSER and does a bad thing. literally all I can say is SORRY in advance !! mentions of domestic violence and abuse. Quick mention of pregnancy
A/N- I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I have most of these already written out, but I like to take time and add ideas as I go along. I kinda came up with a plot twist that will eventually play out, just dont hate me. What can I say? I love angst. ALSO- chapter 6 will be out this weekend possibly, if not, then monday ;) just a treat bc ily guys
"he's such a fucking dumbass" Kaito scoffs and takes a sip of his wine, collapsing back onto the couch next to you. You remained quiet as he ranted after you told him about the night you had.
Immediately after coming back to the apartment with taehyung, you two ended up fighting again. Something about him being childish, you being self centered, him being nosey, and you not being the old you. What does that even mean? You havent changed at all, its him who is always starting these fights.
after that, you packed a bag and ran over to your boyfriends house. It wasnt where you wanted to be, exactly, but you needed a place to hide.
"I dont think he is a dumbass, I just think....hes....i dont know? having a midlife crisis?" you shrugged, leaning into your boyfriends touch.
"midlife crisis....at the ripe age of 23 years old?"
"yeah, I think he is always comparing himself to me, and hes confused about who he wants to be. He wishes he stayed in college so bad, he even signed up for this little credit art course they ha-"
"art??" kaito laughed covering his mouth for a moment
"yeah" you turned around to look at him
"so he thinks finger painting will help him snap into being an adult?"
you stared at him, scrunching your face up in thought. Yeah, you kinda poked at tae and made jokes, but you didnt mean any harm deep down. Maybe you dont understand his little desire to paint away his feelings, but watching kaito laugh about it is different, because he means it. You suddenly felt guilty for talking about him behind his back, even if he was a dick for yelling at you a few hours ago.
"he enjoys it, its kinda cute. If its helping him back onto his feet then who cares...its not like he quit his job or anything, kaito."
"cute? more like immature"
"hey, cmon, leave him alone"
"you cant seriously be defending him"
"I just dont like talking about people behind their back, you know?"
"whatever" he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink before pulling you onto his lap. "wait..." he stopped, thinking before laughing. "I thought....I thought you said you were sick?"
Your heart stopped the minuet he spoke, how could you forget your own fucking lie, more importantly, how is he just catching this?
"Oh I was feeling better, mhm. This morning I felt like shit but I figured it would be better to suck it up and go to the dinner anyways, should have stayed home!" you blurted out and got off his lap, standing to your feet.
"right" he eyed you, standing up as well as he put his drink down. "well....do you wanna go to bed?" he asked, doing that stupid smirk face that made you somewhat angry.
"uhm, well, yeah, but im really tired kai, also im still not feeling 100% you know? so, maybe we should sleep. just..sleep." you nodded quickly and turned around on the ball of your heel, only to be yanked around by the wrist.
Your eyes widened in shock at the sudden action from him, heart pounding in your ears. Was he drunk? who knows, but that was not an ok thing to do regardless.
"let go of me, what the fuck?" you breath out, trying to tug your hand out of his tightening grip.
"you arent lying to me about Taehyung right?"
"what? What are you talking ab- let go!"
"you wouldnt lie to avoid me, right? you and him arent doing shit behind my back?" he asked, anger in his voice, something youve never seen.
"No! theres nothing!! I promise, I was just sick and, kai you are scaring me please!" you whine, mad at the tears that showed up so quickly. He saw your eyes and immediately let go, making you yank yourself backwards quickly, allowing the tears to fall as you hugged yourself.
"oh my god, im so sorry baby, I didnt mean to d-"
You both looked down at the mark left on your wrist from his grip
"shit, im so.....im so sorry, y/n, listen-"
"get away from me!!" you yelled, "Im sleeping in the guest room, d-dont come in, sober the fuck up and dont touch me again, I swear to God..." your voice shakes as you spoke, aware that if he really wanted to, he could hurt you again.
you saw regret in his face, but it didnt matter. jealousy has always been an issue for him, but its never shown like this....it was scary.
you turn quickly to run upstairs, hiding in his guest bedroom and locking the door, you wanted to leave but also didnt have anywhere to go exactly. You promised to meet up with your friend Dahyun tomorrow for lunch, so you would have to ask her to pick you up earlier.
kaito looked at the wine glass that had spilled without him even knowing, sighing and sitting with his face in his hands instead of going after you.
-
Taehyung woke up the next morning in the same state he had fell asleep: mad, clothed, dirty, and missing you.
He knew he was fighting you when it was happening, but there was just an overstimulation of emotions that had over poured, and unfortunately, you happened to be the punching bag.
He made a mental note to call his parents and explain later as he walked into your room. you were still not there. Given the things he said, you doesn't blame you, however he would like to apologize.
He walked into the kitchen and looked at all the food, well, more like ingredients for meals he doesnt know how to make. You said something last night to him about him needing to depend on you with everything, including meals. It hurt, but it was right. He sighed and closed the fridge, moving to go sit on the couch in the quiet apartment before opening his phone to his social mediaās.
He hated to see other people and how well they were doing, but he found himself online more often then he used to be, maybe it was to inspire or motivate him, he wasnāt sure. He scrolled across Annieās art page, stopping to pay extra attention to one post in particular.
She was good, her art was something people would pay money to see, he understood why she would be in all the art classes she could find. The post showed her setting up at the banquet hall a few streets down, something about an art fair. Tae smiled and like the post, wanting to know more about it. He contemplated dming her, eventually just giving in and doing so.
Taehyung: hello Annie, itās taehyung, you probably know that because you can see my name, anyways, I saw your recent post and was wondering what you were setting up for?
He tapped his phone with his fingers, feeling odd to text someone who wasnāt, well, you.
He was surprised to see her answer quickly
Annie: hey tae :)) i was hoping you would text soon enough. Iām setting up for an art festival at the Julie banquet hall! You should totally come if you arenāt busy :0!!!
He laughed and bit his nail, suddenly hearing your voice in his head telling him not to do that...bad habit.
He texted back
Taehyung: when is it?
Annie: itās being held this entire week for a viewing, but next weekend there is a contest....winner gets a prize!
taehyung smiled and looked around, that could be huge for him. Maybe this was the universal sign from the universe he needed, a sign that his rash decisions were actually working out for him. He knew he probably wouldnāt be able to go down today, for obvious reasons other than the fact he needs a shower.
He also needed to prepare something worth winning, and that required time.
Taehyung: oh wow...that sounds really interesting. Iāll probably be down later this week, thanks for letting me know.
He tossed his phone to the side and began to head for his room, knowing that he wouldnāt leave until he created a masterpiece.
As fun as this was, he had to admit, it was a good distraction from you.
-
"How come kai couldnt just drop you off?" Dahyun looked over at you, taking a bite of her sandwich. "well, he was a bit hungover, he had a lot to drink last night" you cleared your throat, sipping your water.
It had been a while since you and your friend saw eachother, and going out for lunch together was nice, a step away from all the boy drama going on. You were in college, and you just wanted to do normal stuff and leave the high school shit behind.
Dahyun sat back and looked you over, concern on her face. "sweetheart are you alright?"
"why wouldnt I be?
"because you look like shit, in the nicest way. Have you been sleeping?"
you laugh, looking down at your hands, "yeah, ....well, no"
"mhm, whats going on?"
"tae and I got into a fight last night, and it was just really annoying because we are always fighting nowadays, I hate it."
"is that why you were at kaitos?"
you nodded, eyes looking out the window. "I should have just stayed at the apartment though. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss him, he hasnt texted me" you sighed and re-checked your phone.
"hes a grown man, y/n, he can handle shit"
you looked at your friend, quick to remind yourself that they dont see the true venerability of taehyung like you do, they dont know that he's just emotional and feels things differently than others, so as much as you hate to say it....he cant take care of himself.
"mm" you shrug, taking a bite of a fry. "lets just talk about something else?" you suggest
"okay, let me think...." dahyun smiled to herself, searching her brain for something to talk about. "Oh did you hear about chae?" she suddenly spoke up
"no, what about her? is she ok?"
"dude she had such a pregnancy scare, she called me 2 nights ago because she was fully convinced she was preggo....shes not though so its alright" she shrugged
your eyes widened at your friends words, "what?...how did I not know this? why didnt she call me?"
"well, not to start anything but...we kinda have been calling and texting you, but you dont seem to have time anymore, which is perfectly fine, but we miss you."
you slumped down into your seat, food on the plate in front of you has now gone cold and unedible. "I dont know, man. Life is so messy right now, theres just so much going on. I miss you guys like crazy, we need to plan like a sleepover or a girls weekend." you suggest, leaning into the palm of your hand sadly.
"hey, y/n, just breathe, everything will be okay. If you are free next weekend I know a friend of mine is throwing a really fun party, i'll text you the info if you are down to go?"
you smiled hopefully, not that you were the super most outgoing person on campus, but the idea of going to a party with other kids seemed like a set up to meet some new people.
"Dahyun that sounds really fun, yes please send me the info, is chae going?" you ask, pulling out your phone
"mhm, yep...but we are gonna have to keep her with us because her boyfriend is going...well now ex boyfriend considering they broke up over this whole 'almost pregnant' scare, and-"
you quickly shut out your friends voice as you checked your socials, suddenly coming across a photo taehyung had posted on his story of a painted canvas, seemed normal enough, except the fact someone was there with him. at your apartment.
you whip your head up, "I think I have to go, im sorry, uh, something just came up and I need to get home, but uhm, you'll have to text me about nate and chae!" you spoke quickly, grabbing your purse and standing. "Thank you for having me out, I really needed it. Dont forget to text me the party details!!" you sing as you hug her and make a dash for the door.
-
You exited the elevator and made your way down the hall quickly, searching for your keycard in your over packed purse before bumping into someone and falling to the floor.
"ow? hel-, oh.." you quiet down when your eyes meet the person waiting outside your apartment door. kaito.
"What are you doing here?" you quickly stood to your feet and brushed past him, still searching for the key.
"baby, you havent answered my calls, we need to talk about last night. Im so sorry, I never meant to make you feel unsafe, im going through so much and I just....I just, I dont know what happened, but im so sorry!" he rambled quickly, touching your back and making you stop your movements.
"kaito..."
"i know, im so sorry, i suck and im an asshole and you probably hate me, I would too"
you sighed as your hands fell to your sides, turning to face him. "you....you arent an asshole, dont say that." you breathe out, grabbing his hand "just promise me you'll cut down on the drinking or something...I dont wanna see that again." you felt guilt throughout your chest as he looked down.
"I promise, baby, I will"
you pulled him into a hug and squeezed him, rubbing his back and moving to kiss his cheek. "head home, now, please" you whispered, watching his face fall.
"wait why? I was hoping we could hang out or make food or something?" he gestures towards your front door. "hm, Im sorry kai, maybe after classes sometime this week, I have to handle something right now...you know how he is" you quieted your voice at the last part, watching your boyfriend nod.
"okay....just, uh, text me ok?"
you smiled and nodded, "of course"
once he made a turn for the hall, you placed your keycard into the door and walked into the apartment to see Annie and Taehyung in the kitchen. You usually werent too keen on having random people in your house, you and tae promised to not invite others there without letting eachother know.
"y/n..." tae turned and saw you, making annie stop whisking whatever was in the bowl she held.
"tae" you nod, waving quietly to the short girl behind him. "didnt know there was something going on today" you joke, putting your bag down and walking in with arms crossed over your body.
"I just invited her over because it was a little too quiet over here" he joked, looking at her and smiling.
"ah I see" you smile and lean against the island counter. "what are you guys making?"
"apple pie" annie cheerfully responds, moving to her phone to change the song that was playing
"oh, yummy" you awkwardly reply, somewhat angry that she was in your kitchen and took it upon herself to use your ingredients that you bought yourself.
"tae, can we talk?" you turn to him, talking quietly.
"yeah..." he looked over at annie, "ill be right back"
she replied with a thumbs up before returning to her baking, reading the recipe off tae's phone.
You led him into your room before shutting the door and leaning against it, the boy looking back at you like he was expecting to get yelled at. "I'm sorry" you exhale, "For the other night, I dont wanna keep doing this with you" you shrug
"I dont wanna fight with you either." he spoke simply, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.
"I dont...I dont really know whats been going on with us but I rather just sit and be your friend than your enemy, you know"
he nodded, "you are right, and Im sorry too, all that shit I said, I didnt mean it, It was out of frustration which still isnt okay bu-"
you cut him off with a hug, "its okay"
he took a moment before wrapping his arms around you in return, "Are you mad she is here?" he whispered, "no...just wish you would have texted me...."
"i know, im sorry" he shook his head, sighing. "um, also, my parents called and I explained kinda the situation simply and they seemed to understand somewhat. I spoke honestly with them about how their words effected me and shit, and they said they would try to stop...well...mostly my mom will try to stop" he laughed, making you smile.
"they want us to go over to their house before they go back home, sometime later this week. I know you have classes and stuff but even if its just for one night over there, ill drive you to school in the morning if you need" he added.
"okay, we will work it out, im proud of you for sticking up for yourself" you laughed softly, making him look down shyly. "did you take your medication today?" you remembered to ask suddenly
he looked up at you and pressed his lips together before hesitantly shaking his head, "uh...I forgot.."
you sigh, "okay, lets go take it" you grabbed his hand and went back into the kitchen, brushing past annie to get to the medicine cabinet.
You took notice of how the girl eyed you and your hand against his, making you smirk to yourself. Even if you and tae were just friends, you knew no one would ever be able to squeeze between you both, not kaito nor annie.
"here, bubs" you whisper, handing him his pill and a water bottle
"whats that?" annie spoke up, cutting up apples on your good cutting board you didnt even get to use yet, making your eye twitch.
"allergy meds" taehyung spoke up, taking a sip of water as you look back at him with sympathetic eyes, his face telling you to just not say anything. His ADHD was something he assumed he should be ashamed of, something people would always use to blame his behavior on.
He didnt want to be that, he just wanted to be Taehyung.
Annie nodded and patted her hands on her apron before moving to the next thing, engaging in conversation with taehyung. "so what were you saying before she came in?" she asked, catching you off guard as you threw your hands up and walked over to tidy the living room area.
"Oh I was just talking about the art thing and how-"
"tae.." you stopped fluffing the pillows to turn to him, making annie sigh as you once again interrupted their conversation.
"what?" he looked around, confused.
"why arent you working? todays a work day?"
"oh, uh-...."
Annie smiled, "I didnt know you had a job, where do you work?"
Tae looked between the two of you before speaking up, "well...I used to work at this buisn-"
"used to? you got fired??" you walked over and held his arm
"no no....I quit, like....last week" he huffed, seeming relieved to get it off his chest. "tae, why did you, what?? why would you do that?" you looked at him seriously, knowing that there was no income for you two anymore.
"because I plan to apply for college again, I have a whole thing in the works, y/n, I promise, I didnt just do it on a whim" he spoke quickly
"y/n, he can handle himself" annie sarcastically spoke with a smile
"kindly leave please, him and I need to talk" you finally looked back at her, making her plead to taehyung.
"what? but we were doing something!" she puts the rolling pin down when tae shrugged, "im sorry annie, ill text you okay?" he walked her out before apologizing again and shutting the door.
"well aint she the sweetest" you scoff and collapse on the couch. "come here please" you spoke calmly, wanting to approach this correctly. Taehyung walked over slowly and sat on the couch next to you, keeping his body close and away from you.
You took a deep breath in and looked at him, "tae, honey, why did you do that?"
he shrugged, sighing.
"look at me"
he turned his head around to you after a few seconds, revealing the tears in his eyes. "tae..."
you are quick to wrap him into your arms, "its ok, im not mad. I just wish you told me, everything makes more sense now" you mumble
"Im sorry for not saying anything, I was just so unhappy working there and I just had to leave" he chokes out, face hidden into your shoulder. your hand finds his hair as he gently pulls away.
"i'll find a side job or something, but I really am serious about this school thing" he quickly muttered as you wiped his tears.
"Its okay...I can probably pick up tutoring for Mrs.Chin again, she pays well and if I do it after classes everyday it'll probably be enough to sustain rent" you sigh, rubbing his arm.
you watched as the boys face was filled with regret and sadness, making your heart split in two. "dont tell my parents, please" he whispers
"no...of course not" you smile lightly, "ive learned my lesson"
Taehyung laughed and leaned back against the end of the couch, head looking up at the ceiling. "so....we can talk more later if you like, but for now lets go finish making that apple pie" you leaned into him jokingly, making him laugh.
You two got up and walked into the kitchen "why did you let her use my cutting board" you pouted
"im sorry" he smiled shyly "If it counts, I know nothing about how to bake, and if I was the one making the pie we would all be food poisoned."
you laughed, "i'll teach you"
-
You two sat in Taehyungs bedroom, both eating a slice of apple pie as he played some game on his Xbox, you watching.
"so..." you began, scarping your fork on your plate. "art, huh?"
he paused his game and turned to you, smiling, "what?"
"youre passionate about it?"
"yeah, I suppose" he shrugged, watching you get up and walk over to his desk. "I saw these on instagram, they are actually quite nice" you added, eyeing them over as he came up behind you. "yeah, those were just some doodling to be honest." he itched his neck.
"but uh, im working on something big. Can I show you?" he spoke, watching you nod before pulling a canvas from his closet and placing it down.
The sketch included an empty, bare forest of trees in the center of a town square, details to a perfect ten on even the smallest things. "Its not done, not in the slightest but..."
"woah.....holy shit tae, you...wow" you were actually in awe. You knew he liked art, but this was beyond anything youve seen from him, it genuinely made you feel something. "this is really beautiful, is this pencil work?"
"thank you" he mumbled shyly, a blush on his face, "yeah, its pencil, I plan to add color to everything but the tree, itll remain black and white." he spoke, looking it over himself.
"does it mean anything?" you pondered aloud.
"well...its like this, trees lose everything they have in the winter, no leaves no flowers, nothing, right?" he spoke as you listened, "yet they still are just...there, while everything continues to progress and move around them, because they know if they wait, whats theirs will grow back."
"wow...." you said again, truly speechless by his work. Clearly you underestimated him, because this is beyond anything youve seen.
He looked at you lovingly before clearing his throat and putting it away again, "yeah... its for this art contest that Annie told me about. Winner gets like, a cash prize, im not sure how much, but it doesnt matter because they also win a trip to a really cool art museum in Paris" he looked back at you.
"Paris?...wow tae, I have no doubts you will win this"
"dont jinx it" he teased, walking back to his chair.
you put your hands up in defense, giggling. "so is it an art show?" you asked, following him
"yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come....the exhibit is all this week and I plan on going on friday....was gonna ask if you'd wanna come with?" he spoke quietly, hopeful tone evident.
"hmm..I would love to" you smiled and grabbed his plate to clear, heading towards the kitchen
"oh, also...." he sat up, making you turn to him. "whats up?" you ask,
"I know this is kinda odd, but would you mind if you just...like, slept in here tonight?"
your eyes widened at him, making him feel like he overstepped
"I shouldnt have said that im sorry, I just didnt sleep last night and I always fall asleep quickly with you"
you giggled quietly, "no its okay, ill sleep here alright?" you watched his face light up , nodding
"thank you..."
-
"what happened to your arm?" tae asked as you climbed into his bed and shut the light off.
"what do you mean?" you were confused, sitting the side opposite of him. Taehyung pointed to your wrist, oh...yeah, that.
"oh I burnt myself, curling iron. wasnt paying attention" you sighed as he frowned. "be careful, ok?"
you nodded, "ok"
once you both were in and under the covers, the silence was welcoming. To be fair, you slept best here too, and the last time you laid here the circumstances were completely different, so it was a bit weird.
You laughed to yourself when you heard his soft snores after a few minuets, he wasnt joking. you lifted your arm and raised your fingers across your wrist.
be careful
there was so much to be careful about, and if only he knew the full extent of it.
You looked over at the sleeping boy next to you before turning to your side and closing your eyes, allowing yourself to just be here, in his bed, in this very moment, because it gave you the safety and comfort you needed so badly
be careful .....
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#taehyung smut#kim taehyung#taehyung#taehyung fluff#taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung bts#kpopfic#kim taehyung fanfic#bts fluff#bts x reader#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts#kth x reader#taehyung drabble#tae fic#tae smut#tae x reader#tae fluff#tae drabble#run bts
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i admire you for continuing to be somehow positive about this whole situation, cuz i cant anymore. i gave quackity the benefit of the doubt after his first stream but after the contradictions and the admins speaking out i can't, i'm just too dissapointed and also a bit mad. i understand people trying to be positive but at the same time it kinda feels like they're choosing to be ignorant about the whole situation. i guess there's a chance of things getting better but i don't see how. the fandom has been divided by the people that believe in quackity blindly and the people that want proof things are actually better. im tired of waiting. i want proof that the admins are actually being treated with respect. i want proof that the labor laws are being respected. and even if we get that proof i dont think this fandom will ever be how it used to be. i don't know if its because of the fact that the labor laws are pretty similar in brazil and france so this two fandoms can understand each other pretty well, or because of the xenophobia that they both went through, but it kinda feels like they're the only one's having each other backs. from what i've seen the last few weeks the brazilians dont want to watch it anymore or support qsmp because it just feels wrong. we might watch our streamer if they decide to play in the server but i dont see anyone excited or wanting to interact with the fandom anymore and its sad.
thank you anon but idk if i would call it being positive š„¹ more like trying to see how things can still improve and focusing on that rather than on my personal feelings of doom regarding it ahahaha /hj
itās either "i believe the project can still goes on and the admins can have the respect they deserve" or "this is doomed to never get better, server will fail and admins will eat dirt" so the choice is easy for me ! maybe iāll have to put my clown makeup on because of that but oh well
tbh there are things that parts of the fandom have said and done regarding this that will forever irk me but lets focus on all the cool aspects instead ! the way everyone was able to interact with people from all over the world who love the same thing they do, share languages and culture.
i love the solidarity between french speaking and brazilian communities so much. Maybe itās because we share some similarities on the way we view these kind of things, maybe itās a "you and me against the world" thing after we both got a lot of shit and maybe itās both ! so thankful for it in any case. itās sad to see these two communities who were so active both leaving one after another though, what a wasteā¦
and i still canāt believe i went from no knowledge of portuguese to being able to read and understand it pretty well in a matter of months just by watching brasilian streamers and reading tweets from the brasilian fandom šš«¶ impeccable sense of humour from you guys btw i saved so many memesā¦.
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