#im just so angry and sad and i need a real hug!!!!!!!!!!! >:'(

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

bestie is coming home on 1st im having thoughts

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[yawn-junn]

Hey sweetie💜 How are you? Wish you an amazing day and a wonderful night

I saw your requests are open for boynextdoor so can I ask for some headcanons of bf!Leehan? I imagine that he would be such a cute boyfriend💜

˚₊‧꒰აLeehan Boyfriend Hc໒꒱ ‧₊˚

ִֶָ 𓂃Much obliged too: Anon, Leehan, Xikers

ִֶָ 𓂃inscription: I'm so sorry this took so long to come out, I got really really super busy so I was picking whatever was on top and I could do real quick, but now I have more free time since my opossum's are officially ok to go out into the wild and when this was requested i was in and out of the hospital (around this time last year) so an entire year IM SO SORRYY

ִֶָ 𓂃Synopsis: a inside look on how leehan is with his partners (Not factual based off my imagination)

ִֶָ 𓂃cautionary tale: kissing : jealousy : PDA : food : blood (period) : Insecurities :

ִֶָ 𓂃 @mxlly143 - @cherriruto - @bunnie-stay-p1ece - @wonootnoot - @rikutrash - @babigriin

06/18/24

ִֶָ 𓂃He loves teasing you, but he also knows his limits if you're vibe is just even the slightest of bit off after what he said he's quick to apologize and place kisses all over you're face.

ִֶָ 𓂃His favorite pass time is to play with you're hair or hands whatever he can reach really.

ִֶָ 𓂃Whenever he talks to you he softens his tone almost to a whisper to not spook you.

ִֶָ 𓂃If you're asleep next to him he'll turn off all the lights turn down his phone face towards you and turn the brightness down so you won't be disturbed.

ִֶָ 𓂃Often he lays his head on you're stomach, if he hears even the slightest of rumble from hunger he's jumping up and bringing you food.

ִֶָ 𓂃He likes matching weird stuff with you, doesn't even have to be clothes or jewelry or phone charms, it could be like a little porcelain statue or something.

ִֶָ 𓂃He always has you're favorite food or drink on deck, waiting for the smallest of sign that you want it.

ִֶָ 𓂃He gives a lot of affection, he does expect a lot in return or at least something where you give back.

ִֶָ 𓂃If you're on you're period, and it gets on you're pants to where it's noticable he's quick to back hug you waddling you to the bathroom.

ִֶָ 𓂃He is protective of you, if someone gives you a slight eye he's jumping in front of you and distracting you making sure their not gonna harm you.

ִֶָ 𓂃He adores literally anything you do, if you're even the slightest bit more cute than usual he's on the floor crying about you.

ִֶָ 𓂃He loves playing, like messing with you, he'll tug on you're hair or clothes just to annoy you.

ִֶָ 𓂃His favorite thing is to see you pout when he's messing with you, he'll leave kisses on you're cheeks and jaw when you pout.

ִֶָ 𓂃He doesn't really get angry jealous more of sad jealous, he gets insecure, that you would find the other person was better than him, he does need a lot of reassurance.

ִֶָ 𓂃Now if you're insecure, he'll create an entire PowerPoint of how amazing you are and how bunch he loves you.

[luvistqrzzz]

August slipped away into a moment in time 'cause you were never mine

the summer i loved you — jake x f.reader wc — 3.3K

summary — where August was the month of new beginnings and first loves but mostly, heartbreak.

genre — friends to not lovers, second lead syndrome, angst, fluff, summer au, august inspired

warnings — sad ending, jake is a huge dee eye see kay (🤢🤢), profranity, heartbreak, not proofread

an — um guys haha def dont come at me for the ending 😊😊 but omg this had been in my drafts for a while now n im glad im able to release this in august ✌🏽😈 have fun reading pookies (1 fucking am rn imma die help)

ps — ☆ a visualizer cuz why tf am i extra ?!

August is a weird month. It seemed to rush by you like a dream and yet at the same time it felt like the last period of every Friday, not finishing fast enough. You'd prefer the former.

August reminded you of memories— pretty but mostly ugly ones or maybe when the hurt in your heart ran so deep, even the happy memories turned ugly, didn't they?

It was not a month you enjoyed, you didn't like summers, you didn't like feeling like new beginnings and first love.

August reminded you of it all... It reminded you of Jake.

It was 1st of August when you realized what those weird feelings were.

‘Y/N!’ You opened the door to the sound of your name, only to be met with a tired and almost teary eyed Jake. He looked up at you, mustering a small smile as you stood before him your mouth agape. 

‘A-are you okay?!’ you asked, pulling him into your house.

‘Um. Not… really’, your friend replied, scratching his neck nervously. ‘It’s just… she kinda broke up with me.’

She. he didn’t even need to mention her name and yet you let the word pierce your heart, a little. Kang Eunji. Jake’s girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend. 

It was her, always her. It wasn’t unusual for you to hear that they both had a fight but you never thought they'd break up. ‘What? Are you being for real?!’ You were shocked to say the least. Jake and Eunji were what people deemed to be the “power couple” at school. They wouldn’t break up, or could they?

He nodded and sat on the couch, ‘We were fighting over one of those petty matters again, she was angry why I was so busy. It was about soccer practice of course! And when I kind of lost it, she said we were over.’ His voice caught in his throat before he let out a small sob.

Your heart sank as you patted his back and pulled him close into an embrace, ‘Ssh, it’s okay’, you ran small circles on his, ignoring the butterflies set free in your stomach at the close contact. 

You could never understand what went on in their relationship. This may have been the first time they broke up but it surely wasn’t the first time Jake came to your house on the verge of tears.

You hated seeing him this way, like a broken record. 

‘What will I do now, Y/N?’ ‘You just broke up, it’s not the end of the world. Plus, you have the entire summer before you, right? We’ll figure a way out,’ You broke the hug, looking straight into his eyes, trying to reassure him.

But they all meant nothing. Getting reassured of a broken heart didn’t mend the damage, you knew better than him. Jake nodded nonetheless, wiping away the stray tears, ‘Goodness, I feel so dumb for just crying like this.’ ‘don’t be. You are allowed to feel your emotions.’

He gave a small smile in your direction and your heart skipped a beat.

‘So’, you turned towards the television, searching for a distraction. ‘You wanna binge watch something? Or maybe some Doraemon?’

Jake grinned, ‘I’d love that! What would I do without you, Y/N?’

You let out an almost sad chuckle, ‘I am the coolest best friend ain’t I?’ The word best friend left a bad taste in your mouth.

4th August was when Jake realized the bookstore was his safe place.

Clink! The door to the bookstore opened with a small chime. You looked up from your position at the counter only to find Jake walk into the shop. 

He smiled before taking a seat beside you, much to your surprise. It wasn't unusual for him to drop by the store. But mostly he came for borrowing a book or having a quick chat with you. 

But never like this.

'So, how are you doing?' You asked, turning towards where he sat, fidgeting with a pen. It was a slow lazy afternoon with barely any customers.

'Oh, uh, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be. We had so many things planned and like, it feels weird. We were good for each other…' he kept on rambling about his latest break up.

You could feel your heart clench a litte. You understood why Jake was doing so but it didn't help. It didn't help that there were two broken hearts in the same room. It was always you and the second lead syndrome against the world.

Sometimes you really wondered what you had done to be stuck in the loophole of falling for a friend.

You had been friends with Jake since middle school, always finding yourself blush whenever he was around. 

The first time you tried confessing to him during Valentine's Day in freshman year, your hand baked cake (which you had prepared for hours) got destroyed. You kind of gave up on him, treating him as a friend.

Well, that was until Eunji came along last year. Seeing Jake with her brought about a fresh wave of emotions you think your heart had forgotten.

It hadn't. 

The bookstore was Jake's hideaway from the world. He loved everything about it. Loved how calming it was and the people who came in always greeted him with a smile. He was a quaint place, maybe mysterious in a sense that Jake didn't want to uncover the secrets it hid.

He liked how you let him sit there for the entirety of your shift. But mostly he loved the conversations.

Throughout the summer, Jake couldn't remember the number of times he found you sitting with him, flipping through some book as you both chatted away, be it in the lazy afternoon or under the evening sky, where the buzz of the grasshopper was the only thing he could hear. They felt weirdly intimate, like the secrets he used to keep as a kid. He almost wanted to gatekeep them. 

'Sorry do I bore you here?' You asked one day. It was a question bothering you for a while.

Jake frowned, 'What? No. Of course not, Y/N. You could never bore me.' But you were unconvinced, 'No, like, who spends their summer sitting in a small little barely functioning bookstore except maybe be. You must have a lot of plans, right?'

'I wouldn't lie. I haven't ever spent such a quiet summer but turns out, I like a lot. Too much for my own sake. The bookstore isn't boring. Rather, it gives me a sense of escape from reality.' He gave you a reassuring smile.

'Also', Jake added as a second thought. 'You aren't boring Y/N. You just make it all loads better.'

Your phone went off with a sharp ring. Your alarm wasn’t set to ring today. Who could it be? You groaned as you sleepily grabbed it from the nightstand. Without even checking the name, you picked up the call, ‘Hello? Who?’ ‘It’s me Jake, you dummy!’ His excited voice came from the other side.

You yawned, ‘What do you want?’ you checked the time, ‘It’s literal fucking half past four.’ ‘More reason to wake up, right?!’

‘Shut up, I’m hanging up and-’ ‘No no! I really did plan a surprise. Get ready, please, just for today. Please’, he begged from the other side.

Now, you were definitely wide awake, upon hearing his voice. He had planned what…? ‘Okay but the surprise better be good.’ ‘Also! Keep your bicycle ready.’

‘There you are!’ Jake greeted you with a wide smile as you grumbled and walked down the road with your bike where he stood. ‘You don’t get to smile like that after pulling me up from sleep’, you muttered angrily.

But really who were you to complain? It was Jake and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were genuinely excited for what was coming. It was always an adventure when it came to him.

‘You won’t be disappointed, trust me’, he said, boarding his bike and motioning for you to do the same. 

You breathed out a calming sigh, looking ahead at the empty road. Thanks to summer, the sun was already somewhere there on the horizon, spreading a fuzzy glow around you. Everything looked simpler, softer. In the light of the dawn, your thoughts felt less complicated, you almost felt it would be easy to sort out your feelings. Would it?

You turned to look at Jake, cycling in peace, a small grin on his face, ‘Told you! I sometimes go out on early morning rides, especially if I have a lot on my mind.’

‘So, why are you taking me then?’ ‘I don’t know. I just have a feeling you’ll like this place’, he shrugged. ‘Plus, I like spending time with you’, Jake added as an afterthought.’

A blush crept into your cheeks at his words. Stop over thinking you scolded yourself. But you couldn’t help the hope blossom in you. False hope. 

‘Here we are’, Jake spread his arms wide, showing you the view. After half an hour of cycling through empty streets and quiet places, you found yourself on a small hill. It was pretty abandoned, the only sounds that reached your ears were the chirping of birds and the whistling of trees in the cool summer morning.

In front of you lay your town and the forests beyond it. Those familiar buildings looked all new when you saw them from top of a hill. It radiated calmth… and comfort.

Or was the latter because of the person beside you? 

‘Thanks’, you spoke in a soft whisper but then you felt a hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your heart stopped as you turned towards Jake looking at you with a fond smile and slowly pulled you closer, resting his head on your shoulder. 

You couldn't process what he was doing. Was it all intentional? No, it was the usual playful Jake you knew, right? But the usual playful Jake wasn't like this. He had pulled you into a hug several times but never like this.

Never so tender in his actions that it made you think otherwise.

'I like the view so much. I hope you do too. It's just… very special, I had never shown it to Eunji either. People ruin things', he sighed, looking ahead. 

You scoffed as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, 'So, I'm not a person?' 'No, you're Y/N. It's an entire special thing to be in itself.'

You didn't know what it meant anymore. The secret smiles, the small actions. You weren't oblivious, you saw it all but your face masked it behind the friendship.

But was it even friendship? You hoped it wasn't. You hoped you both had crossed the line of being "just friends".

It was the 20th of August when Jake liked mint chocolate ice cream. 

He touched his cheek as a familiar warmth flooded in at the sight of you. What was happening to him? Ever since the day on the hill, he had been feeling weird. Be it when he visited the bookstore or when you both hung out during the day (or night).

The way your laugh sounded in his ears, when you smiled, he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat. But he loved the most when through the afternoons you talked. Just talk, nothing and everything.

Jake had never felt so connected to anyone. You both had always been friends but seeing a friends standing before him, two ice creams in hand shouldn't make Jake blush.

But it did.

'Hey Mr.Zoned out!' You snapped your fingers before him, pulling him away from his thoughts. You handed him his ice cream while joining him on the curb. 

He made a disgusted face at the cone you were holding, 'Ugh. Mint chocolate.' You slapped his shoulder playfully, 'Yah! You are a person with zero taste.' 

'Oh really? Lemme try it then', Jake replied, challenging you. He scooped a bit with the plastic spoon before closing his eyes and tasting it. 

'Ew', he gagged. 'This tastes like fucking toothpaste', he wiped his mouth in disgust.

'Shut up, no need to be so over dramatic about it all', you chuckled and rolled your eyes. 

Jake looked at you as you continued eating and looking at the street in front. It was almost 5 in the evening, the kids were out playing but their shouts were only distant noise because all he could hear was your voice. All he could see was you. You weren't bright like the background but in his eyes, you were glowing. The sun falling on your face, as if highlighting only you in his eyes.

Almost as if on instinct, his hand slowly reached out to your free one, his fingers finding yours and intertwining them together.

You stopped, your heart beating way too fast, you could almost feel the redness of your cheeks.

What was happening? What was Jake doing? Why was he doing this? 

It felt wrong, you knew it. Your intuition could tell it. This was something you had waited forever to happen, but you knew this couldn't be.

Let go of his hand, Y/N. Let go let go let go let go… don't let go.

You didn't, too foolish and in love to walk away. And maybe that was the first mistake you had made.

The first rain of August came on the 25th.

Why was rain often associated with sadness? No, rain didn't mean sadness.

Because on that one day of August, you stood outside the bookstore looking at the dark clouds, the rain gave you hope.

You sighed, no wonder your mother kept on insisting you to take an umbrella. Now, there you were, standing in front of the closed shop.

But a bright yellow thing caught your eye, standing out in the dull gray background. You squinted your eyes as the figure came closer.

Jake.

Your stomach jumped. Had he come for you? 

He ran through the rain, his bright smile evident as you stared at him in wonder.

'What?' He asked. You shook your head, 'You…?' 'I came for you. You always forget your umbrella.' He completed the sentence for you.

Your mouth formed an "O" but a soft smile spread across your lips. 

'Here', he handed you the spare umbrella in hand and took hold of your wrist, pulling you into the rain.

You shrieked, 'At least let me open mine first.' He laughed at your sight, moving closer and holding his umbrella over you.

You noticed every single thing, the things you had noticed a hundred times before. But mostly you noticed his little actions.

The ones that made you fall for him all over again.

'Fuck, if I catch a cold, it'll be your fault, Sim Jake', you threatened the boy standing in front of your porch, grinning. You both had recklessly ran in the rain as a result the umbrellas had been pretty useless… but it was fun.

'Don't worry', he stepped forward, a certain fondness flickering in his eyes. 'I'll be there to bring you the meds.' 

It happened in a fraction of a second, swiftly, Jake bent down and gave a sudden kiss on your cheek. It was soft as a feather, almost like it didn't happen.

But you felt it. You almost felt dizzy, her cheeks heating you. You brought your hands to where he had just kissed you. It had happened, hadn't it?

But before you could say anything, Jake turned around, his head hung low in embarrassment but his stomach full of butterflies and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Had he meant it?

As Jake walked his way back home, his head filled with thoughts of you, a sudden buzz of his phone. He took it out, expecting a text from you.

But no… It was someone else.

His heart dropped. A contact that hadn't been there since 1st of August.

Eunji.

"jake, im so sorry."

But what followed after that day was something you had always feared. 

He ignored you. Every text, every call, no reply. Did he just get awkward? But even an awkward Jake wouldn't be this rude. Or was he angry with you? You didn't even do anything.

The next time you saw Jake, three days later, was when you went on a grocery run.

You could spot him anywhere. 'Jake! Wait', you called out to him. He didn't stop. 'Omg, stop being a shit head would you?! Stop fucking ignoring me!' You huffed, annoyed. 

That's when you saw his figure slowly turn towards you. 'Sorry', he muttered. You ran a hand through your hair. sorry? That's all he had to say? 

'Look, if it's about that day then forget it. You-you never kissed me.' 'What? Of course not, it isn't about that day', he replied. 

You looked at him confusedly, 'Huh? Then why, Jake? I had tried calling and texting you so many times but you couldn't bother to reply to me.'Your voice slowly rose.

'I was busy catching up with Eunji okay?!' his tone matching yours.

There came that name. Her name. Did you hear it correctly? What was she doing in this conversation?

'E-eunji…?' you looked at him, at loss of words. 'I thought yo-you were over her?' 

He gave you a look of disbelief, 'No. That day she sent me a text and I realised… I wasn't.'

Why did the crack in your heart deepen? Why was it always you who got hurt? 

And you couldn't help but ask, knowing the answer would make you feel worse, 'What about us then, Jake?' 

'Us? Y/N what are you talking about? We are friends, we always have been. There is no us.' 

There, the final blow. 'Why did you make me feel so special then? All for nothing? You know how much I like you, so much that everytime we spent time together this summer, I got my hopes up. I was so foolish, because of you Sim fucking Jaeyun. And that day you kissed me, I thought, finally you'll realize but no. It's always her, isnt it?', you didn't scream but the crack in your voice said it all.

And Jake remained silent through it all. because he knew he deserved 'So, this summer meant nothing to you?' You sniffed, a single tear rolling down your cheek.

'Nothing.' But you missed the flicker in his eyes. The flicker that said otherwise.

That it wasn't nothing, it was his eveything.

August 31st was when you lost it finally.

‘It was just a summer thing’, the words rang in your ear, loud and clear. They drowned the voices of all the chatter of classmates. ‘y/n? y/n? Are you okay?’ Lily asked beside you, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.

But you couldn’t respond to her, at that very moment, you thought you couldn’t do pretty much anything except look. Or rather stare at the sight unfolding before you. Before you knew it, the plastic cup fell from your hands, the beer splashing all over the floor and getting the attention of the people in the room, the attention of them. 

In the haze, you met your eyes with his, the soft brown ones that you had fallen in love with, the one which enveloped you in warmth. But now they felt like they were hurting you, the annoyance in them.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you turned around. The room suddenly felt too small, the stares of the people felt accusing. You let go of Lily’s hand that gripped your wrist and ran in the opposite direction.

Did you hear footsteps behind you? Were they Jake’s? You hated to admit it but you wished they were. You wished that he was the one following you, the one who'd hold you back.

For once, prove it to you that you weren’t the second lead.

But he wasn’t there.

You found yourself rushing to the porch, the sounds fading out. But you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, the sound of your shallow breath that you had been holding for so long.

He wasn’t there. What did you even expect?

You were a summer thing for him… but he was your summer love.

permanent taglist open- send an ask- @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin

nets- @en-web @k-films @enhanet @hyfenet

[ya-what--ya-erster]

How to Dance in Ohio thoughts for y'all

The red flags durring Slow Dancing asdjfhaksjdfah YES

Shoelaces? Books about Pangea? 10/10 flirting

I cried when Mel's boss yelled at them, I cried during Nothing At All, I cried durring Waves and Wires

I believe every actor in the show will continue on to do great things

THE ARTICLE I was gonna punch someone at that point I was so angry

Person in front of me: it's a show about autistic kids Me: The Police: so can you tell me what happened? Me: they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Sad that I will probably never see this show ever again

When people cheered for Mel or Remy ever my mom got all angry and tense and it was funny

I found it in myself to cheer for kings and queens being heteronormative right there in front of my mom and she hated me but whatever

MEL AND ASHLEY SHOULD HAVE KISSED AT THE END OF REINCARNATION PLEASE AND THANK YOU

The whole performance of Nothing At All, lighting and everything, was so perfect and I loved it

Sorry, sorry, not sorry <- reminded me of Six

It was so sad/funny/lots of emotions when Drew showed up to the dance that nobody else could make it to

I am a MAN (jk I am a minor) but I would so dress like Caroline like dying my hair pink right now

"You really want to dance with her that bad?" "YES"

The disco ball was beautiful

I related hard to Mel feeling abandoned by Ashley cuz I've had those experiences before

The part Mel and Remy sing in Butterflies after kings and queens are mentioned, sort of says to me that they feel like they don't belong in the conversation, because the idea of a king and queen excludes them (im not messing this order up in my head am i?) like I just wanted to scream "AND AN OVERLORD" cuz like yes there needs to be another option

Mel and Ashley should have kissed at the end of Reincarnation

Drew's e-mail to Dr. Amigo ashfjhadf I laughed so hard like the different ways of reading it uh yes please (that's what my brain does w/ everything lol)

I wanted to hug every single actor in the show with permission but unfortunately I was too scared to ask lol so I just stood awkwardly

I got to see the real-life Caroline at stage door and it was really cool!

I am so so grateful for the existence of this show, and I want to say thank you so much!!! I felt so seen and understood, even if only for the time I was in the theater.

I was so happy about the signs by the bathrooms (though of course I still used the ladies restroom) that said to go where you feel comfortable.

All honesty, this show showed me the good in my world. All the way around.

I have officially typed way more than I should have but let me say one more thing which is that I am about to spiral into my fanfiction phase for this story so prepare yourselves guys my Ao3 is micah_loves_sweaters if you want it lol

[diavolosbaby]

Hi! So, I saw your Teen!MC being comforted by Simeon post, and I really loved that. I've gone through abuse Luke that from my family my entire life, and quite frankly that post made me cry bc it was very well written🥹So, I was wondering if you could write something similar for more characters? If this makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete this btw😅

Sure :)

I'll do Luke, Barbatos, Satan, and Leviathan :)

Abuse Comfort

Characters: Luke, Barbatos, Satan, Leviathan

Genre: Angst,comfort

Format: headcanons, mini fic

Pronouns if used: they/them

--------------------------------

Luke

- When you tell him, he doesn't believe it. He would have never guessed someone as bright as you went through something so dark.

- actually starts to tear up, he's sad that you went through something so sad

- hugs your waist and nuzzles his head in your stomach, whining about how he's sorry

- actually says some things about your family, not so nice things but still very appropriate (he's still luke)

- he's mad and sad at your family, but the way you're comforting him and not the other way around makes him even more mad and sad at himself

"Waaaaaaaah! How could humans be so mean! Mean to someone like you too! Its not fair you didn't deserve that...sniff.... Theyre more demon-like than anything I've seen in the Devildom... Must be if they treat you so bad...im sorry MC...sniff"

Barbatos

- listens very closely, making eye contact with you or looking directly at you if you avoid his gaze

- very minimal touches while you explain, its meant to be a soft gesture of comfort. He hopes you get that

- when you're done he slides his gloved hand over your head smoothing down your hair

- he plants a kiss to your forehead and then leans his own against it, taking a breath before speaking with closed lids

- You can't tell whether he's angry or sad for you, he tries to hide it very well but you still saw his slightly furrowed brows and slight frown

"My dear MC, how anyone could treat you like that is beyond me. Please leave those memories behind you. Here in the Devildom, here with me... It will be better. I will be better. You will never receive such treatment again. Please believe me."

Satan

- he had his hand over yours before you even started, sensing the tension

- he squeezed your hand a bit, not enough to hurt you but enough for you to notice

- he was mad, angry, furious, that ANYONE could treat you like that, could be so heartless

- but he knew tight now you didn't need someone to protect you. What was done was done. Right now you needed comfort, and you trusted him with that -he gently wrapped his hands around your head and led you towards his chest, you didn't put up a fight

- played with your hair while he whispered sweet nothings to you, except these sweet nothings were sweet somethings, because they did mean something to the both of you

"That... Is terrible. So terrible. I don't... Understand how humans could do that to their own children. And we're the demons...i apologize MC. I'm... Sorry. You didn't deserve that, you were only a child... Their child and they treat you so horrid... It's despicable, truly.."

Leviathan

- paused his game when he saw you were serious

- gave you his full attention, his mouth slightly agape and eyes widened as his brows furrowed in worry as he listened

- took him a moment to take it all in but when he did all he felt at that moment was sorry for you.

- asks if he can hug you and when you say yes he hugs really tight, its awkward but you can feel his worry and determination to make you feel better

- not the best at comforting but will you for your sake

"What... Are you... For real...? Uh... C-can I hug you... MC...? Ok, alright. Uh.. Sorry. I just don't get it. Humans are so supposed to be, well, humane. Thats like the total opposite... Totally unfair to you MC I'm sorry...um..well, I hope my brothers and I can be a better family to you MC...i mean it, alright?"

Again sorry this took so long and hope you liked it :)

[psych0-str1ngs]

Izzy Stradlin x reader- Kids

Authors note: I think this request was a great idea, so im getting on right quick, so anon, when you see this i hope you enjoy it!!!!

Warnings: not many just crying and kind of sad topics.

You were laying down in bed, reading a romance novel, particularly a chapter where kids were involved. You had always wanted a kid, that was for sure, and you knew that you wanted a kid with Izzy. You and Izzy had been dating for quite awhile now, so you thought it was time to mention kids to him. The idea of having a little one running around the house warmed your heart, you couldnt even count how many nights you day dreamed about seeing Izzy holding your baby, or seeing him teaching your kid how to play guitar.

It plagued your mind completely. You felt ready, and you thought he was too. You hear the door open and run downstairs to greet your boyfriend.

“Izzy!!” You giggled running up to him and hugging him.

“Hi sweetheart,” He smiled brightly at you.

“How was work?” You asked, staring up at him with a sweet smile.

“Stressful,” he sighed. “But its okay cuz im home now”

I nod and kiss his lips.

“I have something to talk about when you’re ready,” You said quietly.

“Let me take a shower then we can talk yeah?” He responded, pushing a stray piece of hair from your soft face.

“Of course,” you smiled and sat down on the couch watching Izzy walk up the stairs and to your shared bathroom.

Your legs shook, as you zoned out, slightly nervous. Zoning out you stared at the floor, not even realizing how much time was passing. Izzy’s heavy footsteps broke you out of your hypnotic state and you looked at his wet hair, smiling at how untamed it looked.

“Hi honey,” you said, playing with the gold ring on your middle finger.

“Hi babe,” He sat down next to you on the long couch. “What’d you wanna talk about it”

“Well,” I turned to face him. “You know how we’ve been together for pretty long”

He nodded in response, his dark eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“I…” you trailed off, being way more nervous than anticipated. “I want to start thinking about having kids?”

His smile dropped, and he looked at me.

“Kids?” He said quietly. “I uh”

Your heart had dropped to your stomach. “Y-yeah kids”

“I don’t know Y/n,” he started.

“You dont want kids?” You stood up, sounding hurt.

“No no its not that I just” he started, you cut him off.

“Are you serious?” Your eyes welled up. “You really dont want kids with me?”

He stood up

“I do!” He stopped for a second. “I dont? I dont know y/n.”

A tear rolled down your cheek.

“I thought you loved me,” you bottom lip quivered as you spoke.

“I do y/n” He grabbed at your hands, looking offended when you pulled them away.

“Then why wont you think about it” you snapped.

“Because we’re so young y/n! I mean, we’d make horrible parents,” He said, getting just a little bit louder.

“You dont even know that!” You yelled at him. “I cant believe you’d say that Jeffrey.”

He looked sad, and confused, he looked angry, but not at you. He sighed.

“I gotta go,” He said turning on his heel and grabbing his car keys.

“Wow,” you said. “Real mature izz, real mature”

“Whatever,” He slammed the door shut.

You ran up to your bedroom and slammed the door before sitting on your bed and sobbing your eyes out.

Meanwhile, Izzy was driving to his bandmates house, Steven. If anybody had romance advice it’d definitely be him. Izzy turned into Steven’s drive way before walking up the doorbell and ringing it.

“Dude hey!” Steven said, opening the door immediately.

“I need advice,” Izz looked at him sadly.

“Oh come in,” He said confused, walking to the couch. “Whats up?”

Izzy looked down at the floor before speaking.

“Y/n told me she wants kids,” He started.

“Anddd?” Steven sat with his fist pressed against his head, holding it up. “What’d you tell her?”

“I told her i didnt know,” Izzy looked down at the floor again. “Its not that I dont want kids, and its not that I dont want kids with HER. Im just so terrified of being a bad father you know?”

Steven nodded, intently listening.

“I’d love to see you/n as a mother to my children, god she’d be amazing at it. But the last thing I want is to ruin her and our kids life. You know what if the band goes on more tours and U have to leave for extended periods? Or what if i slip up and drink too much. Im so scared of hurting her or our future kids”

“Well first of all, you can always bring them with us, and secondly, you’d be a great dad, and besides, do you really think she’d mad for one tiny mistake? I mean dude have you seen the way she looks at you?” Steven replied.

“I’ve noticed, and I really adore her. Im just… totally scared” Izzy sighed.

“Have you told her that man?” He asked, looking at Izz.

“I dont want her to judge me,” He shook his head.

“Trust me, i dont think theres a single ounce in that woman that could judge you.” Steven laughed, patting his shoulder. “Go home and try again”

“Yeah yeah you’re right man,” izzy got up. “Thanks I really own you one dude.”

“You sure do,” Steven walked Izzy to the door.

They said their goodbyes and Izzy left for home.

—-

You lied your shared bed. You had put your hair up, mascara staining your cheeks, your nose was seven shaded of red. You had been crying the whole time Izzy was gone. The nights events’ replaying continuously replaying in your head.

You heard the front door open and close, but chose to ignore it, simply rolling over and facing the wall away from the bedroom door.

“Honey?” Izzy’s soft voice spoke out.

“Fuck off,” you said, curling into a ball.

Izzy opened the door and sat behind you, removing his shoes before laying down and turning to face your back. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. You pulled away lightly.

“Can we please talk?” He asked quietly, his strong hand on her shoulder.

You turned around and sat up, sitting in front of Izzy.

“What.” You said.

“Im really sorry,” He looked deep into your eyes. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, you mean the world to me. Truth is i’ve always wanted kids with you, it’d warm my heart so much to see you pregnant with our baby, and stuff. Im just so scared of messing it up”

Your eyes softened as your right hand reached out to his face.

“What do you mean?” You pouted. “You’d make an amazing dad.”

“What if i have to go on tour? Or if i drink too much, i dont want to make any mistakes and hurt your or our child.” His eyes slightly turned red. “I love way too much to let that happen”

“Never in a million years would I think you’d hurt me or our future kid. It’d make me so happy to see you as a dad, you be amazing at it. I think you’re the perfect guy, and making mistakes is okay, especially as first time parents,” Your hand stroked his cheek.

“I want to try y/n” He spoke.

“Really?” Your eyes widened.

“Yes,” his eyes found yours.

You jumped on him and pushed him down to the mattress, pressing soft kisses all over his face.

“I love you izz,” you looked down at him. “A lot, no matter what”

“I love you too y/n” His eyes sparkled up at you.

[jalinaalkenza]

How about the next part of I wanna hold you? Or just anything that would break our hearts. I'm feeling like a good cry is needed.

I'VE BEEN THINKING OF SOMETHING!!! IM GONNA MAKE A PART 2 OF "I WANNA HOLD YOU" BUT I WANNA MAKE A REAL HURTFUL AND SAD ONE.

SACRIFICE...(What if-)

Natasha Romanoff × Fem! Reader

Warning: Angst, sad, no happy ending, sacrifice, crying, break up, mental health mentioned?

Summary: Everything is too late.

(Set on -The Avengers Endgame- Year:2023)

After Natasha Romanoff sacrificed her self for the soul stone, Clint came back all alone. Y/N was there to check the Avengers for any updates.

-----FLASHBACK (BEFORE THE CHAOS)-----

You and Natasha have been dating secretly since The Avengers 2012. And no one ever knew about that since she's very sneaky and good at hiding things, and so are you.

It's hard for both of you. Cause it's not very stable and it's dangerous, she loves you and you love her. You tried to convince her that she's not a monster or any kind of a weapon and she believes you. You two shared many nights and days with each other without anyone knowing. Comforting each other and loving. but as always- Tragic and unexpected things do happened. The Avengers was doing great until-

The Winter Soldier came. Two groups were divided, team cap and team ironman. Natasha assured you that everything will be ok and the team will be ok, nothing to worry about. But she was worry cause she doesn't have a choice but to fight in the civil war. She hated it. She knows that Tony was wrong but doesn't have a choice, because of a stupid contract. You were on top of the tower watching the Avengers go against each other on the monitor. You heated it too cause it's all wrong.

After many hours pass by, you saw that The team ironman is getting inside of the jet now. And you also saw that Natasha blast Steve before going inside the jet, practically saving him and betraying Tony.

They got into the tower and when Natasha came back she straightly went to you. Hugging you and telling you everything and you helped her with her bruises and wounds, after she went to Tony's office.

They talked and basically they fought, Tony knew the betrayal that Nat did. He knew about you and the relationship between you two, she was guilty and she wants you to be safe and protected.

After that she was looking down and she faced you. Wanting to break things apart because she's scared of putting you in danger. You fought with her and cried Infront of her, she's just looking at you straight in the face with no emotions. She hated it and she just wants to hold you.

"We can go through this Natasha! We've been through a lot..." You said, crying. Your voice breaking. "Y/N- we can't. It's not safe, I love you but it's not possible for us anymore." She said and left you there all alone. You cried and cried- sleepless night, overthinking. Your angry at her. You love her.

Next day you found out that she's on a run, she left the tower and Tony was un bother, still angry and pissed at Natasha. She's gone and you were all alone.

It's all over the news that she and Steve are on the run, they're not together though. She's also alone. No where to go- that's what you thought.

Days, Weeks, Months and she came back with a blonde hair. She ignored you and focused on her mission like a heartless woman, but she seems happy. And you decided to ignore her too. It's hard because after many years together it just ended like that, you love her. She's a part of you.

Natasha's POV:

I love her. Still. Every minutes, seconds without her is a pain in my heart. I left because of the guilt inside me, I was all alone thinking about her and only her. Until I was faced into a mission, meeting Yelena, Alexei and Melina. We were all reunited all over again. But still I want Y/N besides me. We finished the mission freeing the other Widows from Dreykov. I didn't wanna go back to the avengers tower ever again but I want to see Y/N and maybe fight just to protect her. I didn't care about the world at some point, I want to protect my sister, my family, my y/n.

-----PRESENT DAY-----

Y/N's POV:

Natasha did sacrificed her self, Clint explained and Y/N was there, she was shocked. Even though many years and months past by and Natasha kept on ignoring her, she still love her. She left the room and cried at the bathroom, punching the mirror and breaking down on the floor. She cried and now she's not in her normal State anymore. Nothing is left for her, No parents. No siblings. No Natasha. And because of that she's done.

While everyone was gone she hacked the avengers lounge, the machine was there and not even thinking she started it and it worked, she spawned her self and she transported to the place of the darkness, Vormir.

She was on top of the edge where Nat fell and behind her was Red Skull, she begged that she would sacrifice her life in order for the soul stone and Natasha to comeback, intrigued Red skull saw her innocence and love, her innocence and love is worth the sacrifice for both. And it's a deal then.

She jumped of the edge and Nat woke up in an unknown place. The avengers then went back to the lounge and when Banner operate the system Natasha spawned there, Alive.

Everyone was shocked. How? What? Was the question and they watched the systematic monitor for an explanation, the CCTV and saw y/n hacking the avengers lounge and going inside the machine without any doubt.

And the war between Thanos and everyone was on. Natasha was full with anger. She was supposed to die and she wanted to change it and save Y/N but the machine broke. Before y/n used it she automatically locked it so no one would use it ever again. Natasha fought the war. Angry and because of y/n's sacrificed the stone was in purity. Tony didn't have to die. The war was quick. And with Natasha's anger she uses every strength of her body to fight.

-At y/n's funeral

Everyone left and Natasha is still there alone. It's almost midnight and the moon is very beautiful, shining and the starts were also patterning. Natasha chuckle with a tear in her eyes as she spoke.

"Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? I clearly didn't do anything. I was a coward" she said her voice cracking..... "I love you and I never stopped loving you. I sacrificed myself for you and you did the same to me but the difference is you succeeded and I failed." Her tears running down her face. "Don't worry. If something happened I'll sacrifice my self for the world and if I die, I hope that you'll be with me." She sobbed "I hope that I'll die soon...." She sobbed again and chuckle "I love you."

After that Natasha is always with you, sitting besides your grave even if your grave is empty. She then bring Yelena and introduce her to you. Every mission she's always confident because she knows that your always with her in the sun and in the moon.

______________________________________________

@natsrealgfhihi I finished a storyyyyy!!!😭♥️

A/N: REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!

[kirai0daisy]

Henlo! So I'd like to ask something of my favourite blorbo, Zhask!

Maybe... something fluff in relation to how many god awful food puns he makes.

IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAİTİNG I WAS SO BUSY PLEASE FORGİVE ME 😭

Zhask X (gender is your choice)!Reader Headcanons

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

!Warnings: ANGST, THİNGS ABOUT BLOOD, WARS ETC. PLEASE DONT READ THİS İF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WİTH THOSE

Not really warnings: Fluff, Soft-side, comforting

• ZHASK knows you from the very start of the Kastiyan's terrors.

• He is not a man for to fall in love that much fast, he needs time. A lot time- but since Kastiyan's are immortal (:cant die) he haved his a lot time and finally felled(?) in love with you.

• It would be a lie if you said you didnt haved feelings for Zhask,

but you are smart enaugh to not show/tell it to him/someone else.

• 'Cuz real bad things would happen if someone know that.

• How did you guys became a couple? Well after a long time, Zhask falled in love with your fighting style, your smartness(/battle intelligence), your personality and etc.

• So he becams more soft to you. At least when nobodys around. And one day when he called out for you. And you couldnt help but think, did you did something wrong? Did you maked him angry??

• What you didnt know was it was wayyy quite opposite. He just asked you what you feel for him and you said things like 'his strongness, his leadership and etc.' but you both know this is was not everything.

• So Zhask maybe a little bit rather roughfully maked you said everything you feel for him "I.. Like everything about you. I know ım just a warrior that fighting above your leadership but feelings cant controlled..." after some seconds of silence, you continue "Im really sorry for feeling this way, I'll accept everything as punishme-" the words Zhask said shocked you "Alright I accept your date offer but anyone will.not know about this. Alright?" You looked at him shocked but then come to your senses "Alright le-" "Zhask. Or any-thing-else in closed doors"

•After yall became a couple that no one knows both you guys life turned into more.. Colorfull.

• Like every-other-else you are one of the Kastiyan's after all

and uour duty is simple; just fight with other planets, kill people and take their home. Simple as that, right?

• It's not like you have another choice anyways, but still this is your duty. But you cant help the little bit of guilt and sadness whenever you take someone's innocent life.

• But whenever you do that, Zhask will be wait to comfort you. His arms are always open to hug you when he sees the sadness in your eyes.

• Homever he literally hates PDA (:Means affection (hugging, kissing, holding hands and etc.) something like that) So he wont hug you in open-public. This does not means he wont comfort you by the words till you guys are out there.

• Anyone cant hear his words of affection tho, he only says it aloud for you to hear. And when you guys go to closed doors, he will make his awful jokes. Like plz. I know this man is trying to make you laugh but what are theses jokes 💀

• Not only I realizs that after request, he would really make awful jokes. İts literally canon. This man doesnt know anything about funny-ness(???) so his attempt to make you laugh is not how good his joke is, how awfully bad his joke is.

• "What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business" He doesnt either knows if its funny or not. He just.. Says it. You dont know where Zhask found those jokes from tho- he says its a secret. And he says jokes in a veryy monotone tone. So the reason why you are laughing is not how funny his joke is, how awful the joke is and how he sounds like.

• But It doesnt matter to him if his jokes are awful. The thing matter to him is your laugh. Your sweet little laugh that makes him butterflies in his stomach and also makes him smile too.

• Even if you tell him to stop he will just say more because you are laughing "Pff- Cant you at least tell me a better joke?" "Theres only one thing thats better than a good joke: a joke so bad that it’s good" and you will just laugh at how awful his jokes are.

This man can race with Cyno bc of how bad their jokes are- Idk who would win tho..

• He doesnt think about his bloody-messed past when he is with you. You are like a relaxed music to him after a tired day, listening while laying. Yes you really make him feel that much nice. You are his everything.

• So why wont he say jokes even if they are really bad that can make a fish drown in the sea because of how much they laughed and water got their lungs-...... You didnt read that but what Im trying to say is he doesnt care what he is doing or saying if he got to see/listen your smile/laugh.

• The thing matter to him is.. You<3

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Cyno:

And my dear Hoshino Ai gif again<3

Please take care of yourselfs! And I hope yall have a nice day :3 Im taking any kind of requests so please dont shy to say any of it<3

[moxnshxne]

Did you check the time?

It is November the 14th and the most cozy time of the year. We cuddle daily on the couch with our fluffy blanket with either a mug of hot tea or hot chocolate and watch a few series or movies arm in arm. It is not the first time i get to enjoy my two favorite seasons with you, indeednit is the second time. And I realized with that it means soon, soon we really are boyfriend and boyfriend for a year. Not only that anymore. It is exactly one month today that we are engaged. And that I don't know if you know how happy it makes me to say I'm your fiance.

Being your fiance is one thing I have dreamed about, wished for. Being your husband ond day is the next I wish for and then I am honestly the happiest on earth, if not I already am. I planned for this to be a small message but I can't help to pour my heart out to you.

Since more than a year, when taking me im dates, when holding my hand wordlessly, showing me beautiful places but most importantly showing me the most beautiful human on earth which is you. You showed me such a soft and gentle human being, being hurted deep down inside but healing slowly just by seemingly being around me. I can't thank you enough that you let me be in your life, slowly let me into your heart and shine brightly. And I can't be more thankful for being the one human being that is allowed to cheer you up, make you laugh, open up and heal you. But...You have entered my heart so quickly, cheered me up and healed me as well. I have despite all, never met someone this beautiful from soul, personality and body. Meeting you, I need to be honest made me pray to the gods up there to please be able to have you by my side for longer. And the longer I now am able to be by your side to be your partner, the more I know this might be forever. And forever in the past sounded like a real long time but with you forever can't be long enough. I want to be by your side when you're happy, when you're sad, when you're sick, when you're angry and I want to hug you at all times of your life. Of our life. Of our life together.

Yunseon, I am glad to this day that you slowly opened up to me and that I was able to see the most beautiful, the most handsome smile that I think I have never seen before on anyone else and when you say, I'm the reason of this smile you make me the happiest on earth and smile the brightest. You've become my best friend, my boyfriend, my bodypillow, my fiance and...you became my family. Because of you I believe in true love again but only with you.

I love you dearly, deeply and more every day.

One more month before it is indeed one year as your partner. And today exactly one month since we are engaged.

I love you.

Your 🐿❤️

There are no better time than Fall to realize how close we are to the end of the year, how fast the last months have passed.

It is a good time to remember some moments of the past, to reminiscense about the good, and bad, times. It is indeed almost a year now that we are together. Sometimes, we both still chuckle when remembering how everything started, how that supposedly short moment turned into a solide forever. Now, even more than before, we can spend our days together as a happy couple, on the couch while snuggling to each other with your special hot choco mix in hands, in the kitchen while cooking dinner together, in bed while sleeping under the blankets we chose during a date. We had already done so many things in the past almost year, yet it will be only a fraction of the eternity we plan to spend together. Because there is no way I will ever wish for anything else other than that. I asked about your life goal, and you replied to me with such a beautiful smile that it was being a husband and make me happy. Let me tell you the same my love. I wish to preserve your beautiful smile, to wipe your happy or sad tears, to hug all your worries away. I want to be a husband who would make you the happiest, whom you can rely on and confide to on anything you will wish for. I want to keep cherising those weekends when we wake up and our only goal for the day is to snuggle together, have each other as close as possible and forget about the world that surronds us. I can't thank you enough for being the one by my side, for being the person I want to have thousands of adventures with, to slow dance in our penthouse with, to make breakfast to bed for, to kiss every time my heart would tell me to do so.

You were so easy to fall in love with, because you have a golden heart and the purest soul. You never needed to do anything to make me fall in love with you. Your presence and happiness alone brings me joy, and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you, for all those days we already walked hand in hand, for all the future days waiting for us. You are my happy medecine, you are my safe place, you are my home. Your presence is the safe haven that my mind needs when it gets too dark or loud. And I'm overjoyed knowing that you feel the same when being with me...

I had already made up my mind a long time ago, that I will make you mine. I want you and only you, because you are the perfect being that my body, heart and soul need. There are no more future where I walk alone, my life has been set to spend it with you, and no matter if there will be obstacles on our path, I know we will be able to face them together. I feel stronger and braver when I know you are always by my side. Your warm personality never bends in front of the countless storms trying to hide your rays, and this brings me the strength to fight on. Even if I'm telling you a billion times that I love you never feels like enough, those three little words never seem to fully convey the depth of my feelings for you. I love you wholly, I love each and every part of you, no matter if you ever thought that it would be unloveable.

Thank you for loving me, thank you for making me feel loved and showing me that I deserve that love. For that endless love you present me, for the constant support and cheering. For being the light in my life, the sunshine which cleanses my mind.

In the healthiest way it's possible, I'm addicted to you. I will repeat it over and over again.

I love you. My love, my fiancé, my prince, my forever. @uarmyhopx

Your  ⋆

[thezoraprince]

The Little Things - Bazz x reader

“🚪💥Im back! What about some angst if you’re up for it, what would getting in an argument be like with Bazz and/or Sidon be like? And obviously a make up because we cannot end this on a sad note!” - @rocklover719​

(2/2 BAZZ)

okay, again, had to write both of these, because you can’t not get Bazz content from me now. i know i write this man to be a blubbering mess of anxiety, but i wanted some angst, too, so i hope you’re okay with that (and i’m sure you are from the ask lolllll). i loved writing this one, and i hope you enjoy :) <3

(you can find Sidon here)

y/n - your name

Bazz is so passionate about your relationship 

and he would go to the ends of the earth to please you

but when you two argue, it’s usually over something little

but oh boy does it escalate 

and it escalates quick

you both get extremely heated

you’ll try to talk it out, but it will get to be too much

and you’ll definitely get a sarcastic “I’m sorry!”

“I didn’t realize it was suuuuch a big deal, y/n!”

*insert an eyeball from Bazz here*

because Bazz absolutely thinks you’re overreacting

the little things do matter, even to him

but instead of admitting he needs some space to think, Bazz will storm off

he’s so upset, but mostly at the situation 

because it’s stupid

he’ll end up saying something he doesn’t mean

because he’s ANGRY

and you’re FURIOUS at him for taking it so far

but here’s the real kicker

he’s absolutely in denial about being in the wrong

and it will follow him to work

he’ll be upset with the guard members for no reason

and he doesn’t even have to explain 

they know what’s going on just from the way he’s behaving 

because he wouldn’t behave like that after an argument with anyone else

“Are you alright Captain? You seem a little... agitated...”

“I’m fine!” *door slamming sound here*

and once he realizes that he needs to apologize

or after he’s heard from someone in the domain about how you’ve been an emotional wreck

he’ll isolate himself somewhere EXTREMELY secluded

because he can’t have the members of the Zora Guard seeing their captain cry

he’s so hard on himself after

he knows you need your space as well

so he’ll stay with Seggin until he knows you’re ready to talk

or at least until he calms down

he’ll ask Seggin for advice, which usually helps him to mellow out

“The little things do matter, Bazz. And you know that. Even if you’re not in the wrong in this specific situation, you are absolutely in the wrong for reacting the way you have. I’m disappointed in you.”

and he’s a BIG mess after that conversation

and he’ll come home late in the night to you already in bed

he’ll crawl into bed with you and snuggle close, kissing your cheek

you can feel the tears on his face

“You don’t have to respond right now. I know you’re angry at me, and you should be. I’m angry at me, too. But, I wanted to apologize. Since it’s late, let’s get some sleep. We can discuss it in the morning, okay? I love you, my precious minnow.”

And in the morning, you make breakfast together

you sit down to chat while eating

and you’ll both end up apologizing

“I shouldn’t have reacted that way, and I’m very sorry I hurt you, y/n. You deserve better, and I need to be better… for you. I love you more than words can say, y/n, and I hope you’ll forgive me.”

you both are ugly crying over being so upset

and he’ll give you the BIGGEST hug after you make up

and don’t worry, he’s already taken the day off to fully make it up to you

because you are what matters most to him

“If I EVER act that way again, I want you to hit me with the back end of my spear, got it?”

and he would NEVER act that way again... ever

[bellysoupset]

SOUP!!!!!!!

HI HI HI HI I CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOURE BACK!!! oh my goodness i was literally typing this when i saw that you asked where i’ve been💀 i’ve been reading fics as you post them (i don’t have notifs on but i check your blog for updates on a regular basis LMAO) but life shtuff has only now died down enough for me to actually write/comment on things!! gosh i’m so excited you’re back!! in the LEAST pressure-y way, it’s almost embarrassing how slowly days went by as i was waiting for you to start posting again LOL like at one point i was telling myself “okay she said 20 days, it’s probably been at least a week”. it had been literally 3 days 💀 HAHAHAHWH

ANYWAYS

AHHHHHH MY BABIES MY BABIES!!!!! i don’t remember what the last thing i talked about on here was but WOW these last fics have made me cry and laugh and blush sooo many different times!! wen finding out was CRAZY and i literally sobbed w her bc the way everything played out was so unfortunate but also so realistic and raw and i had so many mixed feelings about everything!!!! and then wen isolating and bella checking on her!! and wen trying to push her away and then admitting that she felt so lonely GOD THAT WAS DEVASTATING but then bella being so supportive and comforting AGHHHH my girlsss <3333

and then omg the fic after that one??? i was SO surprised that wen forgave vin? and that they’re trying long distance??? i’m so fucking excited and happy abt that but god i’m sure it’ll be hard 😭 but YAY I KNEW THEY LOVED EACH OTHER TOO MUCH TO GIVE UP LIKE THAT ♥️

side note, luke being so depressed and struggling so much to adapt to his meds is so sad but so realistic too :,) i’m glad you’re making this a part of the plot!! but my man is def off his meds already lol im interested to see where this goes!! and also i LOVE how well jon and leo are doing <3 despite everything going on, they’re in their happy era fr <3

and now i’m sorry but the sick vin fic?????????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND MORE‼️ first off, leo talking to him and being so real but also like calling him out like that??? while still being super supportive??? and the way he described wen was so accurate and so him-coded??? and then AHHHHH i’ve ALWAYS loved vin and bell’s friendship, i’ve genuinely always thought it was super adorable and i wanted more of them, so this fic was gold 🤭 a trope that ALWAYS gets me is when someone is ANGRY at someone they love and ofc being bitchy and sassy until they realise said someone is very much Unwell (it’s especially good if they’re so sick that they’re really out of it), and when they realise how sick they are they IMMEDIATELY switch from mad to concerned + caretaker mode!!!! so yeah you can imagine this whole fic had me on my knees 🤭 obsessed w how protective of luke bell is, and how protective of vin wen is, but also how both girls just jumped straight into action when he was clearly not feeling good <333 and then vin realising wen was using her dr. voice, and then the pure ANGST at the end when he sobs and they just hug and the “god i’m gonna fucking miss you” SOB SOB SOB SOB 😭😭😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

bell sick and luke taking care of her was also AMAZINGGGG🫶🏽 i always love when my girls get whumped <3333 omg and AHHHH luke and vin finally talking abt shtuff🥹 the “nothing to forgive” 😭 luke knowing he’ll get sick AND holding him closer??? GOSH THE BROTP MAN !!!!!

and oh my goodness i just read the most recent fic with the new OC!!!! this is so exciting and cool and i love his vibes ahhhh <3 i love how nonchalant max seems abt shtuff and im so so excited to see where things go!! i hope vin and him become friends but also i feel like there’s gonna be some tension and weird banter going on between them at least at first hehehe

ANYWAYS

your writing is fucking incredible and whenever i see a new post from your blog it genuinely lights up my day <3 i am completely in love with all your characters and the depth and intricacies behind each of them ♥️ i’m so thankful your blog exists🫶🏽 also, i saw you were really struggling for a while and i just wanted to check in and see if you were doing better? you’re so loved and talented and appreciated and you deserve all the peace and love and happiness in the world!!! i hope things are going well/better!

i can’t wait to read more of what you write! i’m super excited about this new character and about reading more stories abt your lovely OCs <3

YOU’RE AMAZING THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND KEEP SLAYING!!!

🦦

Soup found DEAD from love cardiac arrest outside of Miami beach.

🦦!!!!! Honestly I don't even wanna post your comments, I just wanna stare at them for hours 🙈🙈

Don't worry about catching up on fics, they'll be here when life slows down!! I know very well how sad it is that we must Adult ™.

I am SO HAPPY you liked the Wendy/Vince developments!! In my head you're like THE Wendy/Vin supporter, so every time I write something with them I'm like "uhmmm wonder what 🦦 is gonna think??"

Caretaker who's pissed and then switches to comfort is also one of my favorite tropes, I looooove the spiciness of guilt thrown in!

Take care babe 💛💛

[cocoartistwrites]

sooooo my dad is a white man and my mom is an asian. they have 11 years age gap. recently i found out that my dad purposely go my mom’s country to find a wife and he was practically grooming her bcs he met her when she was 17 and married her when she turned 19. ntm she came from a poor family and an orphan.

throughout my life i never asked my parents about how they met because i was a very tomboy girl who doesn’t like romance thing. now that im older and somehow my fyp has this asian woman-white man discourse that will not go away.

realizing this make me feel sick tbh. i wanna hate my dad but at the same time he treated her so well and she loves him. i think he loves her more because she is so spoiled by him. i used to look at them and think that they are couple goals. but now i have this mixed sickening feeling.

i can’t talk to my dad about this but i’m harboring this resentment towards him. and i find myself hugging my mom more and crying. she has a very good life here. i know and i’m aware we have so many privileges. my mom did get her bachelor’s degree and got a job here.

my mom is so kind, so so so so smart, so beautiful and clever and absolutely the best person in the world. sometimes i wonder if she never got married young what would happen to her? i know she will be the coolest and most compassionate woman. i know she will have amazing career like marine biologist or something awesome.

i have the urge to protect her even though my dad is not threatening and kind actually. but i resent him for taking away her youth.

i just don’t know how to behave when he’s around. he noticed i’m getting distant but i said it’s because of homeworks. help pls

This is a really tough one isn’t it. I don’t think you can be angry at your mum’s imagined lost future, firstly. She was young but she made a choice that she has chosen to stick with all her life, she went to university, she got a job, she found her own way out of poverty, she had you - she’s happy. Yes she was very young, but also it seems like this has worked for them. If she hadn’t married him she might have actually been worse off. Sure she might have done something cooler but did she want to? If she was living in poverty and an orphan I am sure her youth and childhood was taken from her very early. She would probably have been forced to grow up very young.

I think you really need to talk to her about it. You’re angry at shadows and based on current internet discourse and not on real people and you’re not being fair to your mum because you’re deciding how to feel for her, as if she somehow can’t make her own decisions.

As for your dad: one of the tough bits about growing up is that we have to learn to accept our parents as humans. The way you’ve presented what he did is uncomfortable. You haven’t spoken to him about it and you’re holding it up against a 2023 conversation so I don’t know what exactly happened between them. 11 years is a lot. I think you need to talk to your mum, really listen to her, then at some point talk to your dad. But not like presenting him with a load of internet discourse. Listen to him and see him in his own context and story and as a person.

I used to fight with my dad based on online discourse about feminism etc and it was incredibly freeing to realise that he doesn’t have to keep up with that, that he’s lived most of his life and lived it as a good and kind man and if he’s not perfect that’s fine. I love him so much and I’m so sad I had those fights with him because they weren’t fair and they were coming from my own anxieties and anger about the world. I don’t want you to do that because I think you’ll regret it. I know you probably have a burning sense of injustice but you need to think about whether that’s more important than your family being happy together.

When people say families are tough this is what they mean. But I do really urge you not to judge your parents too quickly. Your dad loves you very much, what good will it do to be angry about something you don’t really know anything about? You’re just going to hurt him and probably put your mum in the middle and hurt her too. But don’t bury this anxiety either! Talk to your mum. Just be really honest with her that you worry about white men and Asian women and their story sounded like maybe she’d got married too young and will she tell you more about it. Get to know her as a friend as well as a mother as you get older.

Sending you lots of love.

[goremet-chef]

tw for death i just need to get these thoughts out of my head for now

so, my great grandma passed away the other day. i dont feel like i deserve any "sorry for yr loss" shit cuz like.. truth be told i didnt like her that much. she was an old conservative white woman, im sure you know what i mean by that. i used to have to leave the living room to go cry in the bathroom cuz ofthe shit she said about trans people

she didnt know i was trans so maybe if she did it wouldve been different, but regardless

shes dead now, and im just. really dissociated tbh. and a little sad. and a little angry

its just. i mean it sounds so stupid to say "oh death is traumatic for me" because death is traumatic for pretty much everyone i think? its scary. terrifying. and you can never outrun it, no matter what

i mentioned this in a different post, but my fear of death started INCREDIBLY early, like no kid should be scared thinking about that stuff but i was. and i asked her specifically after having a dream where she was like. brutally murdered, i asked her if she was going to die soon and she laughed a little and said no

i was only a little kid back then but it. i dont know how to describe this. knowing that the answer has changed is so... suffocating. death catches up with everyone and every time it proves that in my life i just get more and more stressed

and i mean, i cant lie. i know i didnt like her but i used to. i used to really love her, and i know she really loved me. i was her favorite, im pretty sure. this still hurts. i dont think i deserve any condolences or whatever cuz. i hadnt seen her for a whole year, up until recently. i purposefully stayed home and away instead of visiting cuz i just didnt like being around someone like her. that hasnt changed, but im still glad i got to see her one last time. i saw her apparently 2 days before she died, which is traumatic on its own

my brain has such a hard time processing the.. finality of it. she told me she liked my hair and how it was shorter and it felt good. when we left cuz her morphine was kicking in and she was out of it, i hugged her and told her i loved her, and she said she loved me too. her voice was quiet and whispery, honestly. weak, yknow how it is. she had lung cancer, idk why its always cancer

its scary to have my relatives slowly dropping dead one by one. like.. my family is getting smaller, isnt that terrifying? i dont know how to handle this. i know its a long ways away but my mind is just.. waiting with bated breath for when it takes my nana, and my grandma, and my mom, my siblings. etc

ive tried so hard to come to terms with this thing and it. its all for nothing because no matter how i look at it, no matter the optimism or the peace or WHATEVER, im still terrified of it. its natural, it happens to everyone, every single living thing on this planet will die eventually. its so scary, i dont want to die. i dont want the people i love to die, but its not like i get a say in it

now shes gone, the last moments i spent with her are like.. haunting my brain. and i feel GUILT, especially. i think i was valid in not wanting to see her for so long, i dont feel particularly guilty for that. but i feel guilty that even after all that time, she still loved me. i guess im glad she never knew how i really felt about her

whats even worse? the other day, im assuming the day she died, i overheard my mom talking to her on the phone

and it was like.. idk it made me sick? hearing my mom telling her in this like.. not nonchalant but. not how someone whos grandma is dying real time would sound id imagine. her telling her that shes gotta spread her wings, and go meet grandpa, and watch over us

i dont know if she was dead when my mom said it or not, or maybe she was fading then and there, but. it made me so sad. what if she could hear? i guess she probably wouldnt, the drugs made her very.. gone. but like. if she could, the last thing she wouldve heard was someone telling her shes going to die

how terrifying is that? im still stuck up on that. if i was dying would my mom say something like that to me? i dont wanna think about it

it makes me mad, though

i guess she died on call with my mom but. no one mentioned anything about it until today, and i had to go out of my way to literally ASK if she was dead

why do they keep doing this to me? i have a fucking right to know. they did it with artemis too. when my grandmas cat got put down cuz of her heart failure, NO ONE told me until a few days later when my sibling was like "did you hear about artemis?" and my heart sank cuz.. thats never a good thing to hear and they were like "yeah idk why nobody told you? but grandma put her down"

i still havent really processed her death, i fell back on escapism and dissociation, i dont know if im ready for that yet

why wouldnt you tell me? why dont i have the right to know? why dont they tell me anything anymore, my bedroom is right next to yours

its so frustrating. even if it hurts me, LET IT hurt me. let me grieve and mourn, its what im supposed to do. i cant tell if its a sheltering thing or if they genuinely just. feel like it doesnt matter to tell me or not. its so upsetting man

[realdani]

stage.

today, i listened to my old recordings of my choir concert from back 2/3 years ago. it was bittersweet, it was a raw, sweet feeling i hadn't personally expierenced in a long time. that music, it brought me back.

i remember every single word, every second of it, where we had to go faster or slower, higher or a little lower. how the tempo moves, how he was so into directing.

i hadn't felt like that in a long time. the feeling of a community so close, legit 3 or 4 people.

i remember begging to God to be on a real stage. a big stage, maybe some free time on it so i can just look. look up at the audience, and dream. i still do it sometimes when i get distracted.

Back then, i was just 13. A kid, wondering how to get where i need to go. i was confused, sad, and angry all the time. my life had turned upside down, but at the lowest possible moment of my life.

there was the stage.

my problems drifted, i couldn't focus on anything but my nerves, the way my hands slowly got more and more still and the way my knees got a little weak when we had to step up onto the risers.

every single damn time i went up there i knew i could only be there for a while, i needed to enjoy every single second, let myself be lost in the music as i fantasize about the half empty audience i'm seeing. even at 13, i knew it would all go away. i planned everything out.

the way i remember my eyes filling up with tears, i felt like falling, and i almost did.

now here i am, tech week, im backstage like i once dreamed, i have my own place in the dressing room. i'm here. this is me. i am a thearte kid, i act, i sing, i dance. i live in the damn moment, i listen to critiques, i learn sometimes, and other times i don't. im unique, expressive yet so quiet at the same time.

i'm there, im here, im everywhere but nowhere at the same time. i change everyday, happy to sad, angry to excited. tech week is a blast, yet no one understands.

the only people that can get me are my own, the people i know. the people i see everyday in the mornings, the people who saw me groggy and half awake, who saw me cry of being frustrated and who saw me cry of happiness. the people who saw me at 1am, the people who genuinely love me.

but i guess that makes sense right? is it too crazy to call them family? to call them my big, happy family? the people i want to scream at sometimes but end up hugging because thats the type of people that are in this place?

those are the people i must keep around me.

i didn't know i would end up here. but remember, everything comes from risks. i joined at at a risk. nobody i knew was joining, nobody. at that time, i only wanted to fit in, i was 13 for heaven's sake. but something inside of me told me "follow your instincts"

i walked out my first audition, walked halfway to the doors of the auditorium and ran out. texted my cousin that second that i was too scared. now look where i am. maybe a little too out there, but all i know is that i'm enjoying myself.

isn't enjoying what you do the most important thing?

[zeldakinnie]

death and grief cw

i don't think i've gone into masses of detail on here anyway, but some of you might have noticed that hexquest, my very best friend toby, hasn't posted for quite some time. he passed away on the 31st of january this year.

the loss was sudden and unexplained. he had epilepsy, and sometimes this happens in people with epilepsy, but that makes it no more logical and no less painful. i spoke to him an hour before he died. i didn't know until the next day when his sister sent me a message that is forever burned into my brain. i hoped it was a shitty joke. a prank from his uni friends. it wasn't. it was the start of the deepest, darkest descent i have ever found myself trailing down.

his family are wonderful and don't deserve any of this. he was such a light, such a joy. i don't think it was just him that died at the end of january. when he left, he took a very fundamental piece of me with him. i have existed in greyscale ever since. the support of my friends has kept me going, and i shan't be giving up (he'd be so angry), but it's a chore now. getting up, living life the way i did, all of it is so draining and feels so useless now that he isn't here anymore.

i find myself feeling this particularly heavily today, as today is the year anniversary of our first in person meeting. i ran across the train platform for him to scoop me into a hug and laugh into my shoulder that he fucking got me, just like he said he was going to get me. he told me i had more of an accent in person. he didn't stop talking. neither did i. it was the best night, and i was so sad when it ended.

if you had told me then that, in a matter of months, he'd be dead, i wouldn't have believed you. i think about what griffin mcelroy said about exits all the time, and it's so true, so painfully real. this exit was abrupt, clumsy and unfair. i miss him like a limb. i miss him like a sense. i love him and will forever.

none of this makes sense but i've been trying to shove this uphill on my own and it's so fucking exhausting, i needed somewhere to put it all, somewhere i can pretend no one will read it. if you did read it, thank you. i'm sorry to have darkened your days with my grief, but im not yet at the stage where it has gotten easier to handle the night alone.