#im just saying words actually. i dont know what the point is
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okay, okay, okay, bear with me
mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane
oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT
but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?
and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?
he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant
so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.
anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.
like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about
everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.
but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting
and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"
and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.
look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of
you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That
you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW
your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that
you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT
i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"
also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check
cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?
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talking about work drama
#fight club#the narrator#tyler durden#soapshipping#also idgaf what anyone says narrator is taller#yes its because edward norton is taller#but also if you want to be pretentious with me for a moment i think it also helps to solidify tylers... unconventional(?) masculinity#like the way tyler wears his slutty little outfits and slaps his friends ass and is like 3 cm shorter than the narrator but hes still#much more 'manly'#umm its i guess the irony of it all??? that tyler still manages to exude so much masculinity purely through his personality#im just saying words actually. i dont know what the point is
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having a normal one👍
#kinda cant believe we got a jamie crying scene and it was like That#i know it was kinda played for laughs (on the silly football comedy show?? noooooooo. shocker! shhh shhhhhh) but his reaction.....maaaaaaan#very unexpected. ig the only other time we've seen him cry was when he was in shock and also surrounded by a fuck ton of people#he was probably stifling that shit. versus it being with roy. he just kinda melts man. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan#i know its like boiling point shit. having functioning relationships on the team at stake. the man city match. everything swirling#but just that versus him watchin the movie with the team like😐😐😐its just so telling innit#MR FACADE IN THE HOUSE. i don't know....hmmmmmmmmmm.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#hes not got the words for it. is what im tryin to get at. (looks like i dont have the words for it either lmaooo)#his i dont knows and the comments about his dad stamping out his softness......😮💨when it bubbles up its like where do i put this#i havent slept maybe i will try and graft this into an actual tangible paragraph or maybe i will say fuck it and cave and write a fic#or maybe i will continue communicating thru impact font memes yeeeeaaaaaaa#jamie tartt#ted lasso#rot riffing
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transfem loop + siffrin... you agree
i does agree.... i does in fact ... write a 7k word essay on the subject..... if you would like to perhaps click that link and read it if you were not already aware...... kisses u on the forehead......... sorry its that long but i had to cover all of my bases you know how it is with textual analysis when you're trying to draw a distinction between "headcanon" and "reading of the text" because those are different things.... to meeeeeeee.......
#a headcanon is when i say shit like loop has feetie pyjamas.#a reading of the text is when i go jesus christ dude im not sure someone that repressed has a particularly great grasp on their ideal Self#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#back on the homestuck tangent sometimes i think about how ppl picked up on the trans coding of roxy but were so set in their ways that#they thought it mustve been in the past and not a potential future... and then got real mad about a character being like.#complexly transmasc with a nuianced relationship to gender and not Easily Brushed Off Before The Narrative Begins Binary Trans Woman#one of the few times i think ive seen it be That way around? but i think it comes down to that whole. visible transgenderism happening#during the plot vs Invisible transgenderism that shh its okay you dont have to actually think about you can just say for brownie points#BUT MAYHAPS THAT IS MEAN. mayhaps that is mean. but i know what i saw back in the day.#sighs homestuck tangent over anyway uhhh yeah hold on isat fans ill throw you a new bone instead of getting off topic uhhh#isabeau seems like such a pragmatic planner to me i think theyve got contingency plans for whatever family they want to have in future#logical nerd with his transition timeline planned out and it includes a flowchart with an 'IF partner has X then i need Y to have a kid'#shrodingers op isabeau . guy with a gender spreadsheet and punnet squares. i think it being that methodical is funny#it also speaks to his occasional hesitance but thats too dark of a read i think im not going to stake anything serious on that#i have thoughts on isa but they're more obviously aligned with what he literally says with his words in-game. not really much worth#elaborating on besides poking at how his insecurities and appeasement to others might inform his literal decisions#i have maybe a few bullet points in my head for him. not 7k words
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Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).
I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".
#my characters#oops i fell in love#can you guys tell im stressed and hyperfixating on my own fucked up ocs cause i am#also brents nickname at work and in rights phone is fuckwad#and hes like yeah if im called anything else at this point by right its weird and uncomfortable#and when it is finally approached as if paul is only in rights phone as shitty-ex (answer) now that hes an excoworker#what was he in rights phone BEFORE the transfer#and right is like annoying dickwad ... karen is like oh i see thats why you call him a dick still#thats like a nickname from his phone name#and brent has to ask why fuckwad and dickwad and right looks at him and takes a deep breathe before saying#because i like the word wad and it is very comforting bc like a wad of paper ? you can throw it away#and so if i realize i gotta get rid of attachment i wad it up#also dont tell paul that dickwad was a form of attachment or he will never shut the fuck up about it#karen and brent both swear to never mention it to paul#paul is honestly such a weird anomaly in the plot bc he doesnt directly work at the same police station#but he is CONSTANTLY a topic of gossip or annoyance or updates#hes literally karens best friend! aside from chris he was one of the few right worked with who HAD touch privileges before right banned it#hes also just genuinely well liked but no one can actually tell him or he will become insufferable#which is a crime that rick is guilty of once when he meets paul and karen introduces him#and rick is just OH i know that name! youre her best friend#and she looks so betrayed and paul looks so delighted and stunned and radiant over this fact#and rick makes up for it before the night is over which is why karen forgives him - he made paul back in his place#anyway yeah right has lots of fears and hes my bundle of anxiety and i love him and his atrocious nicknames#i think i would die if i gave someone a rude nickname even affectionately irl#also also final note on this ig#since right is a detective and not always at the station its worth pointing out brent and karen just work taking calls and#doing misc other work at their desks which are nearby so they 100% bond and its wonderful#ok i lied final note on them is#for a very long time karen has to check with right to make sure she isnt annoying brent because he doesnt emote well#and shes scared she wont know if shes annoying him please help youre like the only one who reads his moods accurately
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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i forgot grunt meant like henchman or whatever for a second i thought they were like yeah leonas bitch ass grunts and growls are partial proof to savanaclaw being an athletic leaning dorm lol
#well they also say that in the game not just the manga jkdlfhsdkl like in azuls union bday card#ace was like oh yeah ok you dont wanna be in savanaclaw cause theyre more athletic oriented right#and azul was like NO IM TALKING ABOUT THE SUN SHUT UP!!! jsdklfhsdklfj#anyway i was on the wiki cuz i was trying to remember what their dorm's trait thing is like according to the mirror but i DONT SEE IT.#i rememeber i get it confused with pomesiores . like i think one of theirs is tenacity . but idr which one LOL#the other is maybe endurance...????#that doesnt sound right. i feel like it was broader than that#WAIT I LIED IT DOES SAY IT AT THE TOP i just. missed that part. it IS tenacity lol#what the fuck was pomefiore then....#oh ya theirs according to the wiki is UNRELENTING EFFORTS which i think i did see sometimes written as like endurance or fortitude or smthn#anyway. savanaclaw and pomefiore's ~core value~ always felt similar to me. but also maybe i just dont know what words mean <3#not in a 'theyre too similar' way like i do think theyre different. i just think it's INCH RESTING when things r like#theyre similar. theres overlap. but theres enough distinction to put them apart#actually them being similar in some regards does feel reinforced by the rook hunt situation like he went from one to the other#and seems to be thriving regardless.... we're onto something here...#hmm what were the others.. i think heartslabyul was strictness...#ok the wiki says severity i think ive seen either eng or a translation that called it strictness lol but severity i feel like is maybe#better word choice.. just a lil... nuances nuances whatever anyway idr the others. actually wait no i know octavinelles is like#benevolence bc azul keeps mentioning it- the wiki says compassion. lol. idk if i just keep remembering close enough or like#remembering fan vs official tls. i think the wiki is doing its own direct tl and not engtwst but moving ON#scarabia is deliberation... ignihyde is diligence... diasomnia is elegance???#why is diasomnia the only one that didnt sound familiar At All LOL i dont REMEMBER THAT ONE#i remembered vaguely what scarabia was bc they make a point of mentioning it in like end of 4 or start of 5?#when they were like yeah we value foresight or w/e in scarabia so jamil hasnt been ousted right away. i like scarabia their#way of showing the different ways deliberation works with like jamil vs how it does in kaliim vs the npcs#like theyre all different ppl but still fit that criteria in their own unique ways.... hell yeah...#anyway yay i got ONE right on the nose [as the wiki has it listed anyway lol] thanks savanaclaw
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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I'm gonna post this hopefully quickly and then go make bracelets to distract myself bc I wanna get it out but not have to come back to it later . And I will be whining about this on main a lot so I might as well give yall some context first
#i got soft fired.#they said it was bc summertime is slow and they dont have the hours for me#but they also said smth about my 3 month evaluation ? which i was not involved in but i felt like it implied something about my performance#but they didn't say it was about my performance not being good enough#and they also didn't say its just bc of the hours but you're a good employee so don't worry about that#they said they still might call me at some point if they have hours for me again#the words fired and let you go were not used#but. i stg they just hired a new froster. idk for sure but i thought they did#and one of the cashiers (the girl i know actually 😐) said she might get trained in frosting this summer#even tho by company policy youre not supposed to work in the kitchen if youre under 18. shes 16#but there was no warning or critiques or anything#there was when i first started#but not for a long time now#the manager gave me one note like 2 or 3 weeks ago and not since and that was the first time in a while#i had a panic attack when i got home#idk what im gonna do and idk what to think or feel about it rn#i just . yea#thats whats going on in my life lol anyway
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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i understand that not everyone likes/is able to play older games and with long running series its a bit unreasonable to expect new fans to play several decades old games. specially considering how some can be very hard to come by and not everyone knows how to set up emulators or enjoys watching playthroughs. but this new current of soft rebooting whole series of games and just saying 'yeah you can start with the newest one the older games dont really matter' is not as good as a solution as devs seem to think it is
#yes this is kinda about dragon age dont say anything i know#i wasnt gonna get it on release day cause i want to see real unsponsored reviews first but now i think im just gonna wait until a sale#or until its cracked if they actually keep their word on the game being fully offline and it doesnt have denuvo#cause honestly i dont trust that anymore at this point#i just cant understand why do a soft reboot on a direct sequel. like who greenlit that#who in the writers room went 'yeah none of that shit matters' on a game that is a DIRECT SEQUEL with multiple cameo characters#youre telling me varric is not gonna have anything to say about my hawke being left on the fade#i sent alistair to weisshaupt for What#it was the same with y*kuza like whoever says starting with 7 is optimal is lying im sorry you kinda need to play the 7 previous games too
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Someone take my phone off me because I have typed the words I'm in love with you to my crush and then deleted them immediately after but I get closer and closer to actually sending it everyday I'm gonna explode
#sumarmz waffles#lesbianism is not for the weak#especially when you dont even know if its actually love or just unhealthy obsession 😭#ive experienced limerance once i am not doing that crap again#this is the consequences of codependent homoerotic friendships#words of advice from a 15 year old: if ur also queer friend says you should get married if x happens#run.#Its the start of the end#the beginning of the borderline dating stage where you both THINK you have a crush on each other and its painfully obvious#yet neither of you confess#yet you still act gay#then you both get over the crush#and you discover you liked each other#and you lie awake in agony every night thinking of what couldve been#then the crush resurfaces#but only for you#if i had a nickel for everytime i was in a codependent homoerotic friendship where i at some point believed i was obsessively in love#id have two nickels.#which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice#phineas and ferv reference go crazy#im about to pass out as i write this#tell my story#my eyelids are dropping#ive drooped my phone multiplrer times#yet i must oerservere
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Sorry I'm not your God (神様じゃなくてごめんね) Romaji Lyrics
Nee,
Kimi kara mite boku no kao wa
Nani iro ni mieteru no kana
Hontō wa kimi ga egaku yōna
Sunda iro nanka janainda
Monogatari no shujinkō mitaina
Seigi no hīrō no yōna
Kodo to kotoba o nazotta
Sono kekka ga ima no bokudatta dakenanda
Shinzō ni tenteki o sasu yōna utade
Asa o ikinobite wa
Yoru no omosa ni kubi o shimerare nagara
Iki mo tamerare yashinai
Nigiri tsudzuketeita shinzō mo
Dareka no bunda to shitteshimatta
Sono kuse dareka o sukuitakatta
Sore ga hontō no boku nanda
Aa,
Shōdoteki na aide sukuwaretakunai yo
Nante mie o hatte itteshimatta
Kakkoyokunakute gomen ne
Aa,
Sekai yori kimi o erabutte
Minna ni ichatta
Kono ude wa ni hon shikanai no ni sa
Kamisama janakute gomen ne
Aa,
Furimaita nasake ga
Kiba ni natte osōtekichatta
Kitto subete yuruseru to omotta
Tsuyokunakutte gomen ne
Aa,
Tsunaideta te o hanashite
Kimi o oite ichatta
Kimi o mamoru tame no hazudattanda
Kamisama janakute gomen ne
Kitto boku wa yasashii hito
Demo kimi wa boku yori yasashii hito
Yasashii hito bakari kizutsuiteiku
Kono dōshiyō mo nai sekai de sa
Kitto boku wa orokana hito
Demo kimi mo onnaji orokana hito
Dakara wakattekureru to omotta
Sore o negatteshimattanda
Aa,
Kitto boku wa yasashii hito
Demo kimi ga boku yori yasashii hito
Dōka kimi dake wa boku mitaini sa
Hikari o miushinatte shimawanaide
Kitto boku wa orokana hito
Demo kimi mo onnaji orokana hito
Dakara kimi ga nami o omōka wakaru yo
Konna ketsumatsu jaiyada yo ne
Aa,
Tsuranuita shisō ga
Dareka no kokoro o koroshichatta
Sore dake ga tadashii to omotta
Kirai ni narenakute gomen ne
Aa,
Itsu no hi ka nageta kotoba ga
Zenbu kaettekichatta
Kono ondo wa tashika ni aru no ni sa
Kamisama janakute gomen ne
Aa,
Sayonara o shinai tameni
Kōsuru shika nakattanda
Kimi no me ni tayoritaku natteshimatta
Risō ni narenakute gomen ne
Aa,
Zen jinrui o aisu nante koto wa
Dekinakatta yo
Dakara dōka boku o urandekure
Kamisama janakute gomen ne
#aria rants#yaknow while getting the romaji readings of this songs lyrics i realized that i actually wont be able to sing along with it#like-- that was my main reason of wanting the romaji lyrics in the first place. but then in hindsight-- and well-- in many moments#considering how much i looped this song-- i actually wont be able to cuz of how fast paced this song is that id end up tongue tied#but i did it anyway and it actually did help with my japanese language reading needs in that i know what Some kanji readings are!#the meanings tho? ...nnnoo... look im just happy i even managed to do smth like this when i cant read kanji at all but smth possessed#me today to just Do It! for this song just so i can get its romaji lyrics when i couldnt find any of it online so i made it myself#i dont even know if i did the word spacing correctly here. i relied on like-- two sites and my own hearing which is ngl... not reliable#one site is google translate so ya can alrdy tell from that and another site is called nihongodera which helped A LOT! for me#when getting the romaji readings cuz it has an analyzer tool so i can see each kanji's various readings then id confirm which one#through what the song says and its honestly a process id normally not be able to go through at all but ig i just rlly loved this song#that i managed to do it anyway! honestly this entire thing is literally a post By Me For Me at this point like who else wanted this?#no one! but me! so here it is! and im posting it anyway cuz i dont want it lost in my drafts and to make sure it doesnt get buried at all#fave
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please someone teach me how to describe someone laughing without just saying "he laughed" every couple sentences, this is painful oh my god
#im terrible with like description tags#i overuse he laughed and softly/gently so bad#i just wanna get my point across plz#but its so awful to read back lmfao#but i dont know what else to SAY#im a strong believer in just using said a lot of the time#but how tf else am i meant to describe this plz#and i cannot stand the words giggle and chuckle either plz#no ones allowed to laugh in my writing bye#or speak gently#because i cannot stop using the word gently#i hate writing oh my god#writing#never writing again i quit bye#writing a bunch of novels sounds so appealing until i actually have to write#i have ideas galore i spend ages planning#and then fall on my face when one of my characters laughs ffs
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1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me
#i never planned on telling him cuz honestly even tho i dont want him in my life anymore i dont know if what happened was actually rape#theres been a lot of debate over whether or not my specific situation was rape or what the feminists like to call “maintenance sex”#so it feels rather cheap of me to call it rape when our collective idea of rape is so much more sinister than what happened to me#but anyways i didnt want to talk to him about any of this because i dont know what to say about it and i think hes too sexist to listen#but i Did get a very funny and wholesome snap memory of him and one of my besties so i sent it to him#and thats how i found out he reached out to me exactly a month ago to tell me his mom died and to ask for support#which of course i cannot provide cuz i feel too conflicted about him to put aside my ego + i feel that he doesnt deserve that from Me anywa#see also my resistance to cutting him out of my life to the point that i didnt block him or delete all of his pictures#i didnt even get rid of all of his things i kept the sweater his mom gave him cuz i Knew she was going to die too soon#and i knew he would miss wearing this sweater which is the one from his favorite picture of him and his mom together#so not only is the context of this situation very ambiguous but also i dont really feel the way i think a rape victim is Supposed to feel#i mean i have my moments when i really think about it where im hurt and im angry and i cant help my reaction to it even years later#but otherwise im fine and even when it comes to him i was mostly chill and stayed with him for a year after it happened#so i dont feel i have any right to call it rape and yet it was definitely not consensual sex#and theres just no other word to describe ambiguously nonconsensual sex
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