#im just bored and sad
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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god I hate how boring being sick is. I do almost the same thing every day and I'm usually reasonably good at keeping myself occupied but some days I am so so brain fog that I can't even remember how to have different thoughts and it's just like. living the same hour over and over and over and over
please let that long covid research funding proposal go through please let people care about post viral syndromes please fucking figure out how to let me HAVE A LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#sick#its a tantrum hole kind of day.#i tried to sit up and paint and it just wasnt happening#i hate how out of my control my ability to Do Anything is.#IM BORED AND SAS#SAD. EVEN
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Zenos gets to have the terrible realization that he is the only prince with the patience to put up with him anymore.
#ffxiv#sketch#emet selch#solus zos galvus#zenos yae galvus#meanwhile emet gets to mull over all the bullshit that happened between 1.0 to arr#i also get to draw buff arr zenos around old solus for once AND i get to curse myself#because the way I draw old solus will be forever tainted by the sheer amount of time I also have in Hades#i cant help myself im sorry#just another little concept of zenos being well aware of the emperors health even though he notoriously barely remembers things#probably cause hes that one character that is terrifyingly observant purely out of how fuckin bored he always is#(and I also write him caring about his grandpa and being devastated by his death for... several reasons honestly but still)#its hard not to notice looking into his character how varis made zenos' life miserable right after he becomes emperor#i got to draw cute chibis in exchange for being a little sad at the concept#that zenos would worry about- as he continues to ail- his grandfather getting more and more lonely on his deathbed#also from noting that the brief periods he's pulled from his anhedonia is when he's helping other people
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they should invent a way to live as a disabled person without overwhelming shame :(
#trying to be logical with myself abt this but i feel like the way i live (aka largely in bed) is so so shameful n i hate it#im so so tired and sad and ashamed. i wanna cry but tears arent coming#also im fucking bored. which is just the tipping point rn lmfao#0
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This might be a bit of a dark question about the fuzzy AU but.. was Acht alone when they died? I'm assuming timeline wise that side order didn't happen pre Grizz winning (unless it did) so did they spend their last few days(?) alone in the Deepsea Metro with no idea what was happening to them or did something less heart wrenching happen?
Man that is a massive plot hole I completely forgot about and did not see coming. Honestly I think I can make it so somehow Acht already met Callie before getting fuzzed up? Because if not it wouldn’t be so interesting (and most importantly there wouldn’t be enough angsssssst).
Also yeah this post is a bit sad so just sayin’.
Acht and Callie already knew each other and went out together constantly, but they got fuzzed up when they were far from each other. Acht couldn’t get out of wherever they were in, because they were just so weak, until it was too much to handle and they died, alone, nobody knew they were struggling with it.
Callie often gets flashbacks about the time they spent together, however her memory gets blurred by her instincts and she doesn’t seem to be affected by them that much anymore. But she does remember them vividly, being probably their first true love.
She sometimes stays up at night thinking about them.
And the saddest part is that she still thinks they’re doing okay somewhere around.
(Read tags)
#pipebomb#this was a bit hard to answer because I really didn’t want to make it THAT sad so I constantly thought about it and drew it all over again#still this is what happens when I get bored#I’m bored most of my life#angst#art#fanart#my art#original art#splatoon#Splatoon fuzzy au#fuzzy au#Splatoon au#callie splatoon#Splatoon Callie#callie#hope y’all don’t hate me for this I mean I can still draw fuzzy calf1sh being happy so I guess that’s something#me whne people pleasin g#we’ll just a bit cuz this is definitely not pleasing anyone#well*#have I mentioned how much I HATE typing on my tablet before?#oh also I guess acht also had friendships and certain uh like#relationships with others like marina and Pearl and eight n all those. of course not only just Callie#but Callie is more important here since she’s basically the only one they had in that time#like there for them#not relationships as in dating I mean like like like interactions IM THINKING IN SPANISH
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I miss u fnaf fandom I miss people having new interesting stuff to talk about like we did with SB and ruin and a large alive fanart and fanfic community and not ok this game had no comprehensible plot and this games plot was already revealed 2 years ago and its still like 6 months or more until it comes out
#sorry feeling sad about fnaf today 😔#its just like. as someone who was there the day sb dropped how did we get here to this point#went from bucketloads of potential with an engaging new era to boring#never letting any of the interesting main storylines appear on screen for years and years#like man#i thought the in between era with hw2 and the next game that was unknown at the time was the worst era#like the mains and the plot will come back eventually but its been 3 years borderline#the bonnie bully cassies dad tales books to game instead of the other way around 2 releases fully about the mimic stuff is just like#very disheartening#pandas.txt#discourse#went from exciting potential to ok so they just arent going to talk about anything ever again#ggy hints and hw2 candy cadet stories are the only things keeping me going#if they didnt exist id prob be actively giving up on them ever bringing 3 star back#& im not trying to say that bc i like 3 star & they havent been focused on everything is bad#they havent focused or done anything cool with VANNY gregory vanessa freddy ggy any of it#instead random shit like hw2 cassies dad mapbot death possession bonnie bully#like somehow theyve made everything about nothing + the mimic#plz announce the release before the end of the year already bc depending on what it is ill feel so much better#if we get hw2 dlc and it reveals if its about cassie vanny or cassies dad things will change so much
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Is there even a site left to post art? Seriously here i really like posting my artwork and creating a safe community why this app decides to follow down the rabbit hole of A! and ruin everything?
I want to be more hopeful that it won't last and get sued those who illegally use our pieces. :/
i think anything being posted publicly (bar perhaps on very niche places no one else will find u either) is probably getting scraped, which is supported by the kind of weak 'We Will Try To Stop Unauthorized Data Trawlers' lines we get fed - even sites that have explicit anti-AI stances like Pillowfort can't promise that ur images are fully protected
i'd assume paywalled sites like patreon/subscribestar offer a smidge of protection just bc the ai people don't want income to flow anywhere else than their own pockets? as for lawsuits, ye, i hope they tread on the toes of some other shitty corporation with an interest in protecting their intellectual property since they have the $ to throw at this problem
when all the platforms we post to are owned by corporations that are only interested in shortsighted financial gain/dont need to respect their userbase, this type of behaviour is to be expected... as i mentioned previously though, i have hope that the bubble will burst like it did w/ nfts, that people will realize theyre swallowing shit and it turns out not to be as profitable as the profiteers hoped (at which point theyll turn to the next exploitative grift)
#cleo talks#margaretkart#the whole ai debacle unfortunately contributes to a general downward arc in quality of media#but tbh.. im fortunate to not have to rely on financially motivated corporations for my livelihood#(private clients are often more generous than say wotc lol)#so im sad about the state of the world but at least theres that#look to individuals and smaller communities#and Begging ppl to put their money where their mouth is#just bc boring ass Marvel is using AI doesnt mean there isn't still incredible creative work to find elsewhere
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I have mad respect for tgwdlm- which started the hatchetfield saga with a third of the budget as npmd (and ~1/5 of black fridays), the smallest cast and crew, the shortest run time (while also having to dump lore for their other shows), and if im not mistaken their first in LA- and they pulled it off. We saw four chairs, a handful of props taped to the back, and endless costume changes, and that was enough for us because the story was so funny and so heart warming and so existential at the same time, not to mention so well performed!
And mad respect to nick lang who took a risk casting a complete stranger to the starkid fandom as the lead of this show (which again was meant to kickstart a series so, like, no pressure man) and of course, praise to jon matteson for killing it.
And even though i genuinely believe npmd is their best production to date, tgwdlm is still my favorite they’ve ever made ❤️
#i just wanted to throw some praise to hatchetfield before i turned my attention to cinderella castle#no but there is a stark quality difference between tgwdlm and bf alone haha#and an even bigger one with npmd#but i love it#it meshes well with my brain chemistry what can i say#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#black friday#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid#starkid productions#again i have covid im just spittin stuff out cause im bored and my ears keep popping and i cant taste anything which makes me sad :(
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au where fadel has a cooking blog under a fake name where he posts his recipes. every entry has that typical long, oddly personal introduction, except he assumes no one ever reads them anyway so he uses it as a diary of sorts. like, "growing up, mother would often be gone for weeks at a time, unless it was time for my younger brother and i to train to become assassins, so i was the one to cook in our household most of the time. this is the dish i would make on the days when i had no energy to cook after spending them at the shooting range" or "i developed this recipe for my late boyfriend a few years ago. he was the love of my life, so it really hurt me when i had to kill him on mother's orders, and i haven't made this dish again since then, but it's honestly a really good recipe and it would be a shame not to share it".
at some point, someone posts about it on twitter and it goes viral. people think it's just a very good bit and the author is extremely committed to it, because through the pieces of information you can actually piece together a full story of his life since childhood to most recent events, and it's so bizarre that no one considers it could be anything but a creative writing exercise for a bored housewife whose name he publishes under. that is, until someone accidentally remembers that a recent recipe on that one cooking blog had a story scarily similar to the assassination they're just hearing about on the news now, and people start connecting the blog posts to other unsolved assassinations. in the end, the consensus is that this is either a very dedicated expert in politics who is coincidentally crazy enough to cosplay as a killer in a niche cooking blog, or someone who knows enough about the mechanics of political killings to accidentally predict things. anyone who thinks the infamous assassin who's managed to escape dozens of times is writing about this on a public blog in his free time is treated as a conspiracy theorist, because, really, you have to be stupid to think that.
#fadel is so chronically offline that he doesnt even know its happening#he thinks his recipes are gaining more traction because theyre just this good#and listen. they are. like people who actually try them WILL tell you that these are legit good recipes#but thats NOT why he suddenly has 1000x more views on every post#at some point his blog posts start talking about this guy whos annoying him and following him everywhere#and people are like OHHH someone is flirting with auntie serial killer thats such a fun development#the constant sadness was just getting boring you know#someone absolutely ends up writing a fic about auntie serial killer and the crazy guy whos so smitten with her btw#(i might write this as a fic if im bored enough because the idea just amuses me too much)#the heart killers#mine#fic ideas
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2 DAYS TILL THE TRAILER!
Today is a request
Baldjungasaurus
Binoceratops
Y'know the more I look at major, the more I realize how BIG he is
Baldrius makes a cameo
#jurassic world chaos theory#jwct#chaos theory#jwcc#camp cretaceous#MONDAY#darius bowman#This is beautiful i know#what else do i put here uh#i see the moon in the violet sky and it looks so pretty i just might cry i sit alone in a candle light because i didnt get the job for#which i tried and tried you know its so so scary when you see me for who i really am and its so so scary when you look right at me in my#eyes and i say dont say that dont be sad i didnt think people can get this bad i mean it dont say that dont be sad i didnt think people can#be this sad#yeah im that bored#yippee ricky Montgomery#i went to his concert this past Tuesday he's all im listening to rn 😭
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Barges into your room, farts, flicks the lights on and off for a bit, throws this at you, and then leaves without closing the door
me 24/7 365also WHATTHE FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!SDHKGHDSHGDSIHGESHDHGDBNGJNFDKBFKJDG
#cin be normal ab ur artstyle for once challenge INSTANT FAIL!!!!!!!!!#also cin try not to think about donnie challenge instant fail#hes so square#HEHEHKSGLJHDKGLSKD#i love your style SO MUCH BRO#this is so pfp. bro#i would say “when i get bored of my pfp on discord i would want ot change it to it” but i dont think im ever going to get bored of it......#i want to make all the art u make me my pfp bro its all so PFP-ABLE BRO#im goingt.o die#i cant wait to get u again#yes its a /threat#the coloring is so fuzzy...#im genuinely going insane over everything u draw me.#like.#im going to like make a folder for it just so i can look at it#<- looks at it when i feel sad or smth#ERM ANYWAY.#i yap too much#cinnatello#corrupted file 📄#previews 🎞️#tmnt cin#self ship#gifts 💌
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and what if i cant ever forget you?🍷🥀
#maybe i'll just never be happy and in a healthy relationship and thats okey#i dont think im even able to be healthily in love#i get completly obsessed and so self sabotaging#i dont even know what to do at this point#i get sad and miss my abusive exes so baddly why cant i ever just be happy#me#girl#my face#lgbt#latina#woman#bored#bi#selfie#argentina#personal#venting#bisexual girls
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it's an inevitability of looking back as anything you say as a teenager once you have a few more years of being alive and changing as a person but i kind of regret putting captions on some of my old wc designs cause every time i go looking back through my challenge tag from 4 years ago a lot of them are slathered in weird strongly phrased opinions i no longer stand by whatsoever
#im a bad people pleaser so a lot of my older opinions were just 'whatever the fandom majority thinks and says'#or 'whatever is the most inoffensive thing i could possibly say or believe'#this boring character doesnt (supposedly) do anything wrong? this character is a good boi very wholesome one my favourites maybe#this character dies in a way that moves the plot along? that's sad they didnt deserve to die they deserved better#and so on and so forth. very funny to look back on. who is this. what are you saying
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So, in your last post about the Percy Jackson TV show, I felt you lacked a few pieces of information/points. While it is true that the CGI in the film is pore and not constructed well, please note that while they have a large budget Disney has made a lot of restrictions to the show. In the original scrips there was a significantly larger amount of violence that would have needed more CGI. This was latter edited out of the script due to both restrictions and budget cuts for other parts in the show(sadly). Also to bring into prospective Sea of monsters the movie was made 10 years ago. Inflation has juristically affected the way money is used in films. Another thing to note is typically movie budgets are less than TV shows because they only are filming for one larger block of time. TV however they can take years meaning the acters need to be paid even for the time off set. This is not to say movies cannot take years, but it is to show that TV shows are filmed longer. I would also like to say I am genuinely not trying to be rude or unkind about your opinion and thoughts on the subject. I am just someone who has a different insight into the topic because of the things I know about the topic (I myself, am an actor and for the most part I think this is why the CGI was not the best as well as some of the script work).
I did actually calculate inflation for Sea of Monsters versus the PJO TV show. We know the PJO TV show allegedly had a budget of $12-15 million per episode. For comparison, this is the type of budget Disney+ usually uses for stuff like The Mandalorian. I was doing a generous underestimate for the entire season which comes out to $96mil (12mil per episode x 8 episodes). Sea of Monsters' budget was 90mil. Here's that inflation:
So lil over $120mil. Going for a top estimate for s1 of the show (15x8) that's $120mil. And as far as I'd heard that may also not include stuff like budget for casting for the show. They are still roughly in similar ballparks.
Regardless of this - as an animator, i can tell you there is no excuse for that wonky CGI trident other than it being extremely quickly done. That's literally a transform error, like ctrl+t type stuff. That is a lazy and cheap trident, probably because Disney notoriously overworks and cheaps out with their CGI. The CGI problems in the show are majority because Disney's being cheap about it. This shows in nearly all the CGI in every episode.
If they had to remove violence from the script and so remove CGI scenes with it, then theoretically they should have more room in the budget for more or better CGI where it already is in the show. That money doesn't just vanish. Changing that in the script gives them less of an excuse, actually.
Also, as i mentioned in my previous post - if you don't want to CGI hydrokinesis, don't pick the franchise where the main character's defining power is hydrokinesis. If you can't have much violence, DON'T PICK THE GREEK MYTHOLOGY SERIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER BEHEADS TWO PEOPLE IN THE FIRST BOOK AND IT ONLY GETS BLOODIER FROM THERE. You cannot have PJO without some level of violence. It's kind of very inherent to the series. Rick actually talks in his original Teaching Guide for The Lightning Thief about how, in argument against attempts to ban TLT (in this specific instance for "being too violent"), that monsters in the books poof into golden dust for a reason, because then they haven't "died." There is no blood. They can and will come back. Because it's fantasy. That is the excuse for all the violence. Of which there otherwise technically is a lot of.
If you are doing live action PJO you are going to have to have some amount of violence (and there is absolutely a level that is perfectly suitable for a PG13 audience. The show right now is leagues below that level. PG13 just means parental guidance for under 13 - this majority has to do with concerns about children under 13 replicating behavior on-screen. Past 13 kids know better than to do that, which is why that rating is a thing. There are plenty of film/media/etc that are way more gory and violent and are still PG13). You are going to have to CGI monsters/creatures to some degree regularly (alongside demigod powers like Percy's hydrokinesis even more regularly). And between those two things, characters are going to have to look like they're physically interacting with the CGI at times. Disney is capable of doing this. Disney does have the budget for this for the show. They're not doing it because they're being cheap. Disney has done this before and does it regularly. This is not anything new. It entirely has to do with CGI not having as many unions. They have no excuses. If they didn't expect to run into these problems then they clearly did no planning for what adapting the series would entail and didn't think at all of what the series actually featured before diving into it. And they have no excuse for that! That is step one!
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#ask#Anonymous#long post //#listen if a disney exec wants to pull out the LITERAL RECEIPTS and prove me wrong. show me the EXACT pjo tv budget and how they spent it#be my guest! show me! i *want* to see it! i wanna know where all that money went. im interested in that kind of boring stuff.#like cmon having LMM cant have drained the budget that much alone#so either something is up and/or it is HORRIBLY mismanaged behind the scenes. which they have no excuse for.#they have the means to have it NOT be horribly mismanaged#and trust me i am actually familiar with what goes on behind the scenes at Disney. I know how the sausage gets made and etc#like i dont personally work there but i *am* familiar on a personal level with it. this isnt just a I Watched A Documentary#like i have been personally toured around the studios and studio lots and told about all this type of stuff in different departments#ive taken classes from active and former disney employees as well before. i know more about disney than i prob should lmao#i know these things and disney does not have an excuse for what theyre doing here. it's just kind of sad and lackluster.#really though if anybody wants to show me an itemized list of the pjotv finances i will happily take it#disney? disney? pspspsp? i just wanna look
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everything fucking sucks<<<<<
#depressing shit#i'm lonely#i'm sad#i'm so tired#i'm tired#sad thoughts#sadgirl#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd shit#bpd tag#bpd vent#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#depressiv#i need sleep#i'm sorry#im bored#i'm just a girl#i hate it here#i hate this#i hate everything#i hate my body#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#i want to cvt#i want to ⭐️ve#i wanna be skinnier#fionas post
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