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Eddie has a very important question for you - just eddie being a loving boyfriend with something i know we all struggle with as we enter a relationship (fem!reader) - self indulgent
a/n: idk man. i had this talk with @ghost-proofbaby and I was like, 'yeah, i should write this' and she agreed.
Wc: 1k
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“Why don’t you fart in front of me?”
You almost spat the water you were drinking all over the book you were reading as you laid on his bed with your back propped up on the headboard.
“Eds, what?”
“You never fart in front of me.” He was dead serious, looking at you while his arms rested on his guitar, sitting at the end of the bed, his legs crossed. You were blinking at him as if he had just sprouted a leaf over his head.
“What are you going on about?”
“We’ve been dating for a whole year, and I have yet to hear a fart from you!” Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment and you shook your head, looking back at your book.
“And you never will.” He rolled his eyes at you and scooted a little closer with a little jump that made the bed move underneath you, making you jump and glare back up at him.
“I fart all the time with you, with sound, with no sound… I mean, we trust each other, and darling, I do know you hold them in.” Your mouth opened with an o shape, not believing the words coming out of your boyfriend’s lips.
The worst part, he was right.
You complained many times because of tummy aches, and you knew it was retained gas you weren’t letting out. You were just embarrassed about it. He didn’t care whenever he did it, and you didn’t either. You even laugh at some of his farts because they sound straight out of a cartoon, and sometimes, you die a little bit because they are deadly.
“I don’t feel comfortable doing it!” You retorted back, and he sighed in frustration, shaking his head again, putting the guitar to the side of his bed.
“I promise you, it’s normal, it’s natural, and the stigma of all the women being proper ladies is such bullshit.” You knew it was that as well. You were also afraid of it being too loud, or smelly, and just utterly repulsive to him to the point he would not be attracted to you in some way.
“I know it’s natural… But I still won’t ever fart in front of you.” He groaned loudly at your words.
“You’re impossible princess.”
“But you love me.” You grinned at him with a sway of your body and he smiled back at you and crawled towards you to plant a smooch right on your lips.
“That I do.”
But it wasn’t even a week later that you were both lying on bed again, and you both were laughing as Eddie told you a story about Steve completely fucking up his date with Heidi.
“He literally tumbled back when he saw a roach sneaking in front of him and he made her fall onto the fountain at the park! That’s why his face is fucking red!” Eddie was cracking up by now and your eyes were filled with tears as you laughed with him.
“Oh shit, she slapped him!?”
“Of course she did! It was a fucking roach! Not a goddamn monster or some shit!” You cracked up at that, and it was a bad idea, because your stomach had been contracting in pain and twisting for the past hour because you were holding your gas in.
You had tacos for dinner, and that was a very poor decision knowing that you were spending the night at Eddie’s, and knowing how the night might end. Everytime you held your gas in, sex was almost painful sometimes.
And now, with the laughter, with your belly going up and down against your stomach, it happened. And your laughter and his immediately seized, leaving the room completely quiet for a few seconds.
It was small, very thin, but it could be heard. Your face immediately heated up in embarrassment, and you turned to the other side, not being able to face him. Was he going to think you were disgusting? Not lady-like? Was it a boner killer? Why isn’t he saying anything–
“Oh, FUCK YES! I’VE BEEN SAVING THIS FOR THE OCCASION!” You felt him sit up on the bed and your eyebrows frowned, making you turn to look at him rummaging in his drawer from the night table. A small confetti popper in one hand and its string on the other. He pulled and the confetti exploded with a pop, startling you.
“What the hell Eddie–”
“Congrats on your first fart in front of me!” Your eyes were wide at his antic, but he had a wide smile on his face and you couldn’t believe your boyfriend got happy from you letting out an accidental fart from laughing so hard.
“It was an accident Eds!” You whined as you sat up next to him and you had a terrified look on your face and he shook his head, holding onto your face with both of his hands.
“It’s the first step! Next one is an intentional one, so come on darling, I know you’re holding it in~” He cooed and you pushed him away, shaking your head in utter embarrassment.
“You’re so weird Eddie… you don’t… find it disgusting?”
“Fuck no! Makes me happy you trust me enough to do it in front of me! Accidental or not!” He was smiling at you, and your heart fluttered as you stared at your loving boyfriend. You leaned towards him and pecked his lips softly, only to then shake your head.
“You’re insufferable.”
“But you love me.” He smiled at you and you couldn’t help but nod and lean in to kiss him again.
After that, you never do it intentionally, but now, if one escapes you by accident you are able to laugh it out with him.
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a/n: purely self indulgent plus WE CANT DENY EDDIE WOULDNT CELEBRATE OUR FIRST FART WITH HIM. ALSO, FARTING IS NATURAL.
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