#im just asking people to be normal. thats literally all im asking
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
The Tumblr office adopted Tommy, an 11-year-old Pomeranian.
Text
Guys I'm so tired.
#guys please. havent we moved past this#i thought the rampant acephobia of the 2010s had died off. why r we still having this discussion#im just asking people to be normal. thats literally all im asking#is it that hard?#arcane#hazbin hotel#i havent even watched hazbin hotel. i just know yall wont fucking be normal about him being aroace#i almost put caduceus from cr on this bc i was in the trenches when he came out as aroace and i saw all the annoying posts#but actually people got over that pretty fast and are super chill about it now which i appreciate#asexual#ace
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?
i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)
the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3
#tho also i have no fucking clue. i love viago and his high strung freakish tendencies#but a lot of this is just me thinking of viago and not necessarily this specific ask. sorry anon#there are other people on here with a better grasp on vi#and i plan to keep it this way because the moment i have to think of him as a mentor figure#it pollutes my vision board for him. LOL#i don't think i'll ever play a de riva rook because i'll ruin my own experiment#this is my control variable. it's a wildlife documentary…#just because the baby crow is about to be cannibalised doesn't mean i'm going to stop it from happening#sorry. i know i said all that and im now saying 'but idk' but its true#my understanding of viago i think is mixed at best. i have not read the comics he is in and#8 little talons is very much a high stakes scenario where he hates literally everything thats happening#so that might not be a perfect judge of character. ive never seen this guy relaxed ever#tho saying this. this is probably his default state LOL#viago de riva#txt#anonymous#answered#it just feels a bit weird for me to enjoy 'the crows are morally grey' but then be like 'not my favorite talon viago tho'#i think viago should mistreat rook. for my sake. but then i would feel weird. which is why i shouldnt speak on it#i cannot be an unbiased party LOL. like im not saying he /directly/ abused rook#because i think w his age and timelines it just wouldnt be him. but i also dont think he's fucking speaking up and going#'NO MORE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! I'LL PROTECT YOU ROOK!'#like be serious. thats a grown man near the top of the hierarchy. just another crow so used to abuse#and double crossing and violence that he takes it as a normal and given for his life/world#which obviously. like. creates issues in his personal life. whether thats with teia or with rook. lmfao.#especially with a guy this paranoid. he just strikes me as the guy to intentionally hurt rook so others dont recognise his weakness#'they need to see me punish you so that they won't kill you' <- totally normal thought to have viago you're so normal
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just had my first psychiatrist appointment in like two years! Not to brag, but I improved on mental illness so much that I was upgraded from Bipolar 2 to Bipolar 1! ����
#when she asked me questions and said 'that seems more like bipolar 1 than 2' i immediately got so excited#to make this fucking joke on tumblr#when my mom asks how my appointment went im going to make it to her too and shes going to hate it#im trying to collect all of the diagnosises and meds#ive tried so many meds in the past im excited to add a new one to my repertoire#i dont even know what this one is for. i think its cuz my bipolar leans heavily towards the depression#and so far that depression has been untreatable. so i think thats what this is for#my caffeine intake was heavily judged whivh i did not appreciate. but its a judgement worthy amount of caffeine tbh#also i had onboarding for my new job at mcdonalds literally immediately after my psyh appointment#and it was strange. i did the normal things. paperwork etc#but at the end i asked if colored hair was okay and she said she encourages self expression#but then she whispered and said some people are furries and thsts okay but if i am i cant wear the claws or tail at work#just for food safety reasons. and she brought me out to a separate building thats their dry storage#and she said sometimes theres pine snakes in there so just be loud as you go in#and she said she doesnt mind if you smoke weed on the clock. just do it in your car or dry storage and use body spray to cover the smell#ive missed working fast food. im going to change my mind after like two shifts but its fine#anyway i hope you appreciated my mental health joke :) i made myself laugh hysterically with that one
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi. for people who saw gatsby: an american myth. do you remember mckee asking nick for lunch. and then gatsby in like the next scene inviting nick for lunch. because i remember.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#when gatsby was like 'we should do lunch' i was like. hello. fucking. hello. are we. hello.#gatsby really said we just met literally 5 minutes ago. come meet my father figure. normal normal thing to do jay.#to be clear gatsby also asks him to go to lunch in the book. but like. there's a time skip. and also#in the show after mckee asks they immediately start making out on the couch. none of this ... nonsense#so the vibes are a LITTLE different in my brain.#i saw a few people say they didnt think gatsby and nick flirted enough and like while i do think that think part of it is we're#in nick's pov but not his HEAD#he DOES start singing about gatsby's smile for no reason until jordon is like. alright buddy. lets talk about daisy.#like nick was just Doing That. pull it together carraway.#but i got the vibe (JUST my take) that gatsby was like. kinda into nick. zero reason to be leaning into his space like that sir.#however when he actually MET daisy again he became kinda singularly focused on her again#i mean he built his whole lifeup to this moment#he says it at the end. he murdered pieces of himself to bring himself here. for DAISY.#him snapping back to daisy mode makes sense to me but he still reaches out for nick as a comfort in the sense that hes like#nick do NOT leave please stay with us. daisy does the same. and ofc part is that theyre really. fucking awkward. but like.#LET ME HAVE MY OWN NONSENSE INTERPRETATIONS. HES TRAPPED BY WHITENESS AND CLASS AND HETEROSEXUALITY.#hes already so much of an outsider trying to fit in. (i also think he loves daisy or an ideal at least. and she's EASIER to love. safer.)#nick inherently has more freedom even as a gay man in the sense that hes richer and white and an ivy league dude i mean you understand righ#right????????#even if its in the book i do wanna point out the parallels between those moments. im choosing to see it as deeply intentional <3#this show had a lot of repetition and parallels (see daisy and myrtle in a lot of songs and scenes)#(one i LOVE is tom giving myrtle a necklace and daisy later giving TOM her necklace in case he sees anyone he knows. idk love that shit)#im...gonna queue this#im embarrassed to talk about this show so much. so. into the queue it goes!!!#all the worlds a stage#so like. anyway. thats where i think nick's mind immediately went when gastsby asked him for lunch. personal headcanon <3#gatsby after one convo: we're doing lunch // me and nick immediately: oh ok! guess that's a date then!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
you'll never guess what people are doing in the silent section of the library
#Guy Do You Not Read The Signs In Here Or Something#ive already had to move once and im about to again. cannot stress enough that there's 3 floors where talking is allowed#they rventually left only to be replaced by a custodial worker talking on the phone#and normally i am all for workers doing whatever to make things less boring for them but guys pls#have mercy on me. not on the silent floor. thats the whole point is ppl are working y'know#idk is that selfish of me? again i wouldn't care in basically any other setting/context#and im more ok with it than ppl just. chatting it up instead of moving to Literally Anywhere Else Where That Is Cool#but it still like. affects my productivity and shit#hour 4 of being here and instance 4 of ppl talking for prolonged periods in the explicitly labeled everywhere silent zone :/#i don't think im asking for much here#gotta clarify that im not counting brief exchanges or people whispering on their way out#they're a little annoying but i get it yk#i mean like 5+ minutes straight of speaking-level convo. no reason to be talking that long up here#minus the custodial staff but thats kinda different
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
guy that likes being independent when he has to do stuff alone
#scary#well only fcertain things.. i DO like being independent with a lot of stuff#but. this is about seeing my dads family again#bc my mom and sister both will never go to any of the get togethers or talk to them at all and havent in years#and i dont want to just?? lose contact with them all forever but i also get nervous about it like about seeing them but gaaahh#plus in addition to questions about my life they always ask me about my mom and sister and i have to answer for them too since they wont#ever see them#Like how did i become the family diplomat i am literally the worst with social skills in my immediate family and the youngest Come on#im the baby come on.#but its been like this for years now and not gotten any easier I DO LOVE my extended family thats why i still do this but#its aaalwwaayysss such a nervewracking thing bc i feel SOO AWKWARD and i dont know how to talk to people#and im more nervous than ever bc of the school thing. Much harder to seem like u have ur life together once ur 18 and 'should' be doing#certain things or having certain plans#or should have accomplished certain things#by now.. ie graduating#i just really hope my grandpa doesnt show up or if he does that he doesnt ask about school stuff#GODDDDDDDDDDDD#sorry im just so abysmally bad at being or feeling normal in social situations
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh oh back to my roommates telling me concernedly "hey I haven't seen you in a while"
#im not even isolating now im actually talking to people way more than normal lately#just online friends#and so i end up being in my room with the door closed all day#but also i have agoraphobia and social anxiety so bad that sometimes i just cant even leave my room#i will literally listen to my roommates footsteps and bedroom doors and shit just to make sure#i dont accidentally run into them when i dont want to#i feel so anxious talking to them even though we're basically familyyl#'basically family' yeah maybe thats why i avoid them :(#the fact that this has happened more than once though where people i *literally live with*#will bring up how they havent really seen me in weeks and ask if im okay (i never am but yknow)#idk. it feels so embarrassing. i wish i was normal
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#mom says that the reason she didnt comfort me while i was having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life was cus i wouldnt tell her what was#wrong and i clearly was capable#like i hate to tell you but just because im technically capable doesnt mean i can communicate easily#im too upset to be able to communicate my thoughts to you about why im upset#she literally told me that its annoying when i cry and scream without telling her whats wrong#she said and i quote I could ask anyone in the world and all of them would be annoyed by this#she said if i just said Sorry i cant calm down i cant talk right now that would be fine like hello? is that not fucking obvious?#i said wouldnt this (being a more concerning thing) make you more sympathetic and she said no it just makes me more annoyed and this is the#normal response#she said even when normal people are throwing up and retching they can communicate whats wrong#that im just pretending to not be able to talk to her to manipulate her and that im being disrespectful by intentionally getting louder and#more disruptive#my parents are convinced i do things on purpose to guilt trip them all the time and i dont understand it because theyve known me for#my whole life and thats the most out of character thing i could ever possibly do but they wont even consider that im not doing that#i asked her why she didnt believe me when i said i wasnt manipulating her and she said I do believe you! when did i ever say i didnt#i dont understand. shes convinced that every normal person behaves like her#and the worst of it is i know shes trying her best and yet still refuses to acknowledge the fact that#I DONT FUCKING MAKE MYSELF MORE MISERABLE ON PURPOSE!#she doesnt seem to understand that overreaction can be conscious and still unavoidable#like yes its not like if i tried i absolutely couldnt calm down and talk to you#but thats not helpful! i dont WANT to try because i am screaming so hard that mythroat will be sore for an entire day!#because i am upset!#i am too upset to care that i can tecxhnically stop#i just dont understand why its so hard to believe im not manipulating her when im genuinely upset#i dont understand why she looks at me like a loose screw. something annoying but not something worth fixing#its always bad enough to warrant anger and never bad enough to warrant a solution#because im crazy but im fine and im not disabled at all
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
GOD therseomuch shit to do i thought id have time today to DO stuff. its the fucking weekend why do ihave to do 2 classes and go outside and literally do something for school . the weekDAYS are always busy i havent had a free moment since i fucking joined
#mel roars#and i forgot to clean cicis fucking litter#like forgot as in for nearly a week#everyone always asks why im never getting another fucking pet THAT is why#because if i cant take care of it then all thats gonna happen is its going to suffer under my care#i have so much fucking due art SO many people messaging me i was LITERALLY going to delete my toyhouse account 2 days ago just to fucking#have a moment of relief#ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD ACTUALLY. this ius normal for so many people to balance their social lives and school and work and shit but i CANT#i cant adhere to a schedule ill lose my fucking mind#i was miserable at my dads but god if it wasnt awesome to Have Free Time#i guess not talking to human beings or going outside for 2 straight years had its Perks#im so fucking sorry to everyone who has to deal with me i am SINCERELY so fucking sorry#i want to do so much stuff with so many people but its always Oh sorry i had to do something :( Sorry i cant do it today Sorry im not free#Sorry sorry sorry SORRY FUCKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY CANT I ACTUALLY JUST DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE#ITS ALWAYS APOLOGIES AND YET??? NOTHING EVER CHANGES???????#and everyone knows this. every single person i have ever spoken to knos im a fucking shit at keeping promises or apologies and it SUCKS it#fucking sucks. can some one take me into their garage and put me down Please#pleas eplease pleasePLEAePLEASAE PLEASE i cant take it anymore fucking help me#i just need SOME one to tell me Directly that i am doing things wrong that im UPSETTING them because i KNOW I AM but i also DONT#unless i recieve it directly from them. god . pleasae. can someone just tell me to shut the fuck up alreasdy
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
I read your tags on you Boone theory and I completly agree. I used to SH as a teen and young adult in college and I hate that everytime I see rep somewhere, it's a 'woe is me' sad teenage girl who cries while doing so and makes it dramatized as hell when if someone has actually gone through that, it's a casual thing like putting water on to boil. I'd love for once if it was mentioned by a character like Boone, talked about a bit as a tender topic in the past but something learned from, and then never used as something to pick him apart. Nothing like 'What if he does it again? He's fragile and I need to keep him with me to protect him'. As soon as things similar are brought up in a narrative, that's all the writers and Fandom seem to associate the character with and I'd love for Boone to be the outlier and the rep we deserve. Sorry for the rant/ agressive agreement, I'm really passionate about this from my past and Boone being my favorite character in any media.
I'm so glad someone agrees with me on this!
You make a great point with the fact that the fandom (and game developers, truthfully) tends to cling onto characters problems and not focus on anything else. Cait does DRUGS, and Preston is SUICIDAL, and like 10 different characters have DEAD WIVES and the rest of their personality gets forgotten about or overshadowed.
This tends to come naturally due to characters not having much time for plot development, hence why "Cait does drugs" is focused on a lot more often than "Nick has a dead wife", even though those are both the main points of their personal quest. Nick just has way more screen time and thus more personality traits and life experiences for the fandom to cling on to. Cait has 1900 dialogue lines and Nick has 2600 including Far Harbor, just to put it into perspective.
It almost makes me glad the idea of Boone's self harm never gets verbally brought up in game because I know it wouldn't be treated the way it should. Boone is stoic and strong and I know it'd butcher his entire character beyond repair if Bethesda tried to put in a "please stop cutting... for me? 🥺" bit between Six and Boone. Boone isn't a sensitive flower that cries and sheepishly pulls down his hoodie sleeves, he's a grown man who can talk and be talked to like an adult.
If Boone self harming ever did become canon the only way I could see the game dealing with it is the same way you mentioned - "a casual thing like putting water on to boil", because that's how Boone would view it. In a perfect world Boone would have scars visible on his arm that Six could bring up and the conversation would be as curt as literally everything else he says. Something like "Yeah, I used to cut myself. I stopped, though." It doesn't need to be any more than that, really.
It would mean the WORLD to me as someone who's been self harming for seven years now to see truly normal, CASUAL representation. My entire life I've had to cling onto dramatic or romanticized stories of self harm, the whole "she drew a picture on her wrist with a razor as her pen..." garbage just to see myself in any sort of fiction. Googling questions just to get hit with "Is your teen daughter self harming?" as the top results. I cannot think of a SINGLE character in media with visible self harm scars at all, not to mention ones whos self harm is treated respectfully.
At the very least I wish Boone self harming was a more common headcanon. It's hinted at in game and it would be the perfect representation if handled correctly
#SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG!#i just have Many Thoughts on it#it would be different if there was literally any rep anywhere. or if it was normal to hc characters as self harmers#but its such a 'touchy' topic that only ever gets written correctly by actual self harmers#i feel like people would think im insane if i dropped something like 'danse cuts btw' into my headcanon list#when in reality sh is NORMAL. I walk around with short sleeves irl and thats okay and not weird or bad.#and if someone brings up my scars i do not start dramatically sobbing and telling them all my hardships#theres a huge difference between 'something being normal' and 'normalizing something bad' that non self harmers tend not to get#fnv#cw self harm#tw self harm#ask to tag
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i really like mole because it's like. it's about a lot of things. but one of the biggest parts to me is the paranoia . like. "i know what you want and you know what i want" is already so incredibly damning bc that's not how human interaction works so at least one of these parties is making assumptions. and then just following that line up with "information, information". again its the assumption bc neither party is saying with any clarity what the information is so they could be communicating on totally different wavelengths but there's still just that unspoken level of assumption. you know what i want. i know what you want. we don't need to specify at all. you know. i know.
#sorry im like. hghghhghj. march makes me weird#im also. god. i feel bad because i cannot be normal about this#no longer talking abt the goats btw feel free to ignore if youre not invested in my personal life#but ive figured out whats setting me off and its so strange#bc i thought i got over it. this is a thing of the past. literally nearly a decade ago by this point#there is not a single me that remembers it and those that do are seeing someone else's warped vision of it#but it's. a thing. and it's messing me up. and i can't stop it and it frustrates me#i tried to ask my brain to stop it and they explicitly told me 'you don't get to make that request'.#and like. on monday i thought they were deliberating about what to do but it seems like theyre not or if they are they just wont tell me#and its. sucks. cause i dont like being excluded from conversations in the first place#and then theres people talking about things that im not present for which is a large part of what is freaking me out#(i say large part. i mean a small part interwoven w the rest but i don't know for sure bc i literally don't know)#but theyre just. im not. nobody is telling me anything. and im all alone and im getting paranoid about it. so hence the moleposting#its just frustrating cause some parts are avoidable and others arent#like shes always going to know things we dont know bc thats the basic idea of it#but she doesnt have to lie. about it. and misleading.#i dont want to confront her but i get the feeling that at some point i will not be given a choice which is unfortunate#considering that's likely to be big and loud and public#and i dont like that theyre collaborating without telling us. when the informed consent is sus. but thats gonna stop soon#they said its gonna stop soon and i have no choice but to believe them bc i cant. do anything. if theyre lying#i will say i cant like. speak for all parts but some of them have been sliding me notes under the table so to speak and theyre on my side#so that's something#but i really don't wanna have to explain anything. especially not publicly especially not to her etc etc#aand im getting the headache again so that is a sign to stop. goobaba all i hope tomorrow will be better#post
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinkin about ocs (OIFIL) and ruining my own life with it u_u
#mostly thinkin about right before brent so hes super hostile and stuff but#how when he learns chris' full name and how chris doesnt like it bc of the constant HAHA THATS /FAIR/ jokes in school#and how he doesnt like his full first name christian and right is SO against his own first name and only wants to be addressed by his last#that he just decides whatever hes got enough annoyances with his name i can respect that#and thats how chris gets to just be chris - because right wants to be right#and he understands that more than anyone but then hes still an ass and still rude to people#and all he knows for a long while is chris is divorced and so when he hears about My Daughter the first time ? hes like ???#you have a baby? a new life? hey what? congrats dude! and chris is like i mean shes five but yeah#and right knows it makes sense that they arent actually friendly enough to talk about families and lives out of work#but still hes been working with chris for literal years and how much of an ass HAS he been that he never knew the man had a daughter#and chris very confused as to why right is so interested suddenly bc mr vulgar jerk of a guy is suddenly the most calm and peaceful looking#that chris has ever seen and its bc he heard about angel and when chris jokes about bringing her by to meet him if hes so curious#he doesnt expect the genuine hope when right asks him really? so oops guess he has to pray for a decent outcome#and seeing right act absolutely normal and civil to his daughter when hes so used to grouching and cussing#makes chris feel a bit warm! like hey theres hope for him!! hes not irredeemable after all maybe possibly!#and ofc thats slightly tainted when his beloved sweet angel says she wants to marry mr right because hey no actually not enough redemption#but right and chris talking about absolutely nothing and it evolves into chris prodding a bit into the whole you do well with kids thing#and right looks at him and is like kids are fucking wonderful dude its the adults that fuck em up#why would i be mean to a kid? what do they know?? they havent done anything wrong that cant be fixed#and chris just flabbergasted at the weird honesty and ok maybe hes too harsh on rights personality (hes not)#but then skip ahead to after brent shows up and you have right soften a bit and be more approachable and more willing to talk#and chris is so happy for him but also really wary of brent bc based on his years of working with right he knows the guy has had it rough#so he doesnt want right to be hurt more than he already clearly has been hurt and so hes gotta try to protect him#so he intervenes some days when one of the two are upset#and is like listen youre both adults you have to talk this out and be reasonable#and both are like wait what why me ?? i have done NOTHING wrong here#though right is more like i understand the accusation and respect it but im innocent this time i have been NICE#bc if anyone can call right out - he will allow it for chris
1 note
·
View note
Text
i honestly deserved none of the shit ppl did to me that lead me to this point
#yall made a victim bitter and hate everyone. congratz ig. keep convincing yourself its somehow activism.#me saying a slur i shouldnt have in 2013/14 bc the ppl around me irl normalized it to me and that repelling people online from me?#understandable. everything else? yeah you can all fuck yourselves with a rake.#plus- that was literally 11/10 years the fuck ago. do you really genuinely believe in all of that time that im still fucking saying it#the only way you could believe that is if you thought I was some sort of secret strategic right winger whos planning ???? something#god the fuck knows what it would even be#if you think im somehow tainted bc of that past I think you might be a lil controlling of a person#im sorry no one is a pure person who never does wrong. get over yourself bc you sure as fuck arent perfect my good bitch#it was 11/10 years ago AND i was a fucking kid. yeah. i think im bound to make mistakes bc of the inherent ignorance of being a child.#i dont think that deserves to be held against me my entire life especially since I now heavily disagree with the reasoning for why#i thought it was ok to say in the fucking first place#yall just want an eternal punching bag and thats really it.#i could become a fucking saint and it wouldnt matter bc dur he said bad word 11 years ago worst thing anyone could do ever fer sure#yall are impossible to please and its why no one but the people you've guilted and manipulated gives a fuck about trying.#and even they eventually see it for the bullshit it is.#yall want someone to control and do everything you say. not for people to become better to others. you dont give a fuck#you auth piece of shit.#thats why i had to learn that slur was still bad to say offline. bc all the people online wanted to do was control my actions#tell ME what to do. tell ME what to draw. when they have no fucking right to TELL ME what to do. you can ask- im more receptive to being#asked to not do something. but any type of behavior control? good fucking luck. you think I failed highschool just bc of the bullying#n shit? nah its bc I dont like being ORDERED to do shit. and I never fucking will! and theres nothing anyone can fucking do to#make me do shit and if they try to force me to do shit they're controlling as fuck and authoritarian.#i have learned SO MUCH more on my own volition and desire to learn vs when I was TOLD that I HAD to.#all my life ive rebelled against this shit. you bet your ass im not about to stop with yall. ask me like im a fucking person#not TELL me to do something like im a fucking slave to your whims.#fuck you
0 notes