#its just frustrating cause some parts are avoidable and others arent

[transgothicgenre]

i really like mole because it's like. it's about a lot of things. but one of the biggest parts to me is the paranoia . like. "i know what you want and you know what i want" is already so incredibly damning bc that's not how human interaction works so at least one of these parties is making assumptions. and then just following that line up with "information, information". again its the assumption bc neither party is saying with any clarity what the information is so they could be communicating on totally different wavelengths but there's still just that unspoken level of assumption. you know what i want. i know what you want. we don't need to specify at all. you know. i know.

[coco96]

LDAF - JB Romantic

Bare Left Arms (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Request: ... people have the names of their platonic soulmates on their left wrist/arm and the names of their romantic soulmates on their right wrist/arm ... R has REALLY long list of platonic soulmates ... Bucky ... isn’t on her left arm list, he assumes that it’s because he’s unlovable ... when Bucky fully lets her in for the first time ... then they get each other’s names on their right wrist ...

Losing Almost Everything (Clint Barton X Daughter!Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SELF HARM Other warnings: Spoilers for Infinity War, death Request: Clint barton’s oldest daughter from a previous relationship. She’s enganged to bucky when the snap happens and goes into a deeper depression when she finds out from her dad and natasha that laura and her siblings were dusted and clint and natsha both stop her from harming herself just in time.

Old Thoughts (Bucky X Daughter!Reader) Warnings: Coming out, mention of homophobia and not being accepted, yelling Request: Hi! Would I be able to request a Bucky x daughter where he finds out she’s a lesbian and maybe isn’t so accepting of it at first but at the end he’s understanding/accepting and just rlly fluffy? If you don’t want to do it it’s totally fine

Anniversary announcements (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship and swearing. Request: … Bucky and the reader has been dating for a long time and one day they discuss for something stupid and Bucky move his arms in a strange way and the reader gets scared (because of the movement, not because she is affraid of him) and Bucky gets very sad and the reader try to explain him that she is not affaid? Like a lit angst with fluff. Hope you could understand it..

I’m Here (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Claustrophobia, panic attacks Request: Can you write one where Bucky and the reader are ok with each other but there’s some tension thrown around? Tony decides to make them work out what ever it is and lock them in a small room together. The room ends up being too small for the reader and she falls to the floor hyperventilating and Bucky tries to snap her out of it while cussing out stark cause he knows they’re on speaker.

Inspiration (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of past serious accident Request: … Bucky Barnes x reader where she was recently recruited after him and she has a similar prosthetic leg or something (you pick) and they bond over their prosthetics? Thank you so much!! 💕

You Should Know (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Bucky’s past Request: Hey! Could you please write a Bucky x male reader one shot where they’ve been dating for a while but the reader doesn’t know that he’s dating the Winter Soldier so Bucky tells him? Maybe some angst and fluff?

Bad Day (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: minor swearing once Request: … reader has had a really rough day at work and is really frustrated and when she comes home Bucky accidentally makes a joke that just sets her off? Can it please be really fluffy at the end? Thanks in advance!

Sisterly Assistance (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: Can I request a Bucky x T’Chala’s!Brother!Reader where Reader is older than Shuri but younger than T’Chala… He was taking care of Bucky with Shuri, and developed a crush on the White Wolf… He decides to tell Shuri about it and she plays match maker with them, because she knows that Bucky likes her brother, too…

Good Enough (Bucky Barnes X Asexual!Reader) Warnings: Self-consious reader Request: An asexual gender neutral reader x bucky where the reader breaks down bc they think they arent enough for bucky? Xx

Movies (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … Just where they’re all just snuggling together with the reader between the both of anthem because she’s the smallest + they’re talking about stuff thats been going on with the avengers; theyre all just really comfortable with each other + care about each other a lot. …

I Still Love You (Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of Civil War Request: With the stark reader and Bucky one, can you do where he blames himself for the death of readers and Tony’s parents, but she still loves him, even though Tony doesn’t allow it. Eventually Tony and reader have a heart to heart and gives her his blessing. Bucky puts aside his guilt?

Learning To Love (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: … Bucky and the reader are in love but he avoid her because he hasnt remember how to be with a girl. So the reader confronts him and he tolds her that he is affraid of hurting her and fluff (love your fic, your amazing) <3

Part Of The Family. (Bucky X Tomboy!Reader X Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: Could you write something where Steve and Bucky live in a house and they have a spare room and put an ad out for a roommate? Reader is a college student with a crude sense of humor and she takes the room. She thinks farting and burping are hilarious and on weekends the 3 of them get together with lots of beer and sports on the tv. Because she’s one of the guys they say she’s the best roommate to ever have.

Pretty Woman (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of cat-calling Request: … Bucky x reader by the song “Oh Pretty Woman"by Roy Orbison?

Late Night Truth or Dare (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Alcohol and drinking Request: … the avengers with reader play to thruth or dare (they had been drinking so its more funny) and they said funny things until they ask bucky and he confess he is in love with the reader, and all ask them to kiss? …

I Can’t Leave You Here. (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Drug mentions, prostitution mentions Request: ... Bucky is dating a ‘normal’ girl but she’s never taken him to her place cause she’s embarrassed that she’s very low income? One day he follows her home and realizes how bad off she really is so he asks her to move in with him at the tower?

I Can’t (Steve X Fem!Reader X Bucky) Request: … ‘Having a secret crush on both Steve and Bucky’ would include and I was wondering if you could do an imagine based on that with fluff and angst maybe where they try to make her choose and she gets upset and doesn’t choose so she ends up with either neither of them or both of them. Thanks in advance.

Starbucks (Bucky X Male!Reader) Request: … reader is a barista at Starbucks. When the reader is on his lunch break, he’s meets Bucky for the first time after offering him a seat at his table (because all the tables were full). They hit it off really well and become good friends. Later on, Reader notices that Bucky starts coming to have coffee whenever reader is on break so they can hang out.

Memories In A Nightmare (Bucky X Male!Reader) Warnings: Nightmares, harm to character. Request: ... reader who has pretty galaxy/space powers calming down his boyfriend bucky? Extra fluffy! Maybe in his mindwahsed state bucky hurts the reader but reader judt loves bucky and is like no this isnt u!

A little Persuasion (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Angry/ upset Bucky, flirting, jealousy. Request:  ... Bucky is in love with the reader but wont confess, so Pietro flirts with the reader trying to make Bucky jealous and it works out, and Bucky confronts Pietro in front o the reader and lot of fluff?

Surprise! (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Sad emotions Request: … reader thinks everyone forgot their birthday but they were just planning a surprise party for them? …

Finally Complete (Bucky X Wife!Reader) Warnings: Infertility Request: ... They’re married and she finds out she can’t have a baby. So him and tony (her big brother) go adopt a little girl to surprise her. She gets in from work to see her super soldier snuggled up to a 4 yr old girl. She jumps up extremely excited and asks if your her new mommy. Reader is so happy she’s in tears.

Liebling (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... the Avengers make fun of the reader because she’s german and one day she pretends to insults them in german but actually she gives them cute nicknames? Maybe some Bucky x reader because he knows he’s got a special nickname? ...

I Brought Flowers (Bucky X Reader) Warnings: Mentions of PTSD and illness Request: Bucky X Reader

I’ll Kill Him (Avengers X Fem!Reader)    |     Part 2 Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse. Request: Reader is the Avenger’s assistant and like a little sister to them, and one day she doesn’t come into work and Bucky goes to her house to make sure she’s OK and finds out she’s in an abusive relationship and helps her.

Sleep (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of violence and fighting Request: ... reader kinda acts like a cat and is constantly tired, no matter how much sleep she gets! ... the reader have aerokinesis ...

Unfortunate Reunion (Bucky Barnes X Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of CW, Black Panther, swearing and death of character Request: Bucky angst here, maybe a break up? Or a reunion years later after a break up? Maybe reader death? Thanks!

New Member (Bucky X Fem!Reader) Request: ... Bucky x mutant reader? Maybe she has fire powers? She’s very shy when she first goes to compound too ...

[we8comic]

i was the anon who sent the eyeroll dream thing and genuinely actually do you have any feelings about like dream and by extension sapnap trying to assert themselves into pop off trio streams

because i’m not gonna lie as much as i love dream and sapnap and yeah the going dark thing was funny, they do have this problem where they show up and get confrontational about not being invited and when they do that shit and put everyone on the spot about “being left out” it’s very weird to me you should just accept they want to have a stream alone right..? i was wondering what you thought about that and whether you think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out

like let george hang out with his other friends maybe i doubt they’d do this if it was quackity and karl with anyone else or even just them alone

also i’m too much of a coward to discuss this on my own main idk if you know who this is but i have a feeling it’s smth you agree with and it’s veryyy nice to see someone calling sapnap and dream out for their occasional annoying and stream ruining behaviour

sorry this is so long!! you also totally don’t have to answer btw lmao i just notice the same frustration sometimes through your liveblogging whenever sapnap and dream crash a stream

anonymous: wait wait to add onto my last ask it was the biggest power move for karl to announce that the sex havers only consists of george karl and quackity and i really felt like that was a hint drop from him, i think jokingly adding that anyone else is “a friend of sex havers” was to lessen the impact but i still enjoy the fact that he asserted (and has been asserting) that their group when they’re together is an exclusive trio

i felt it that time he was like yeah well. we were the original sex havers groupchat and i feel like sapnap and dream kinda wriggled themselves into being included like i hope none of this sounds mean i just really want dream and sapnap to understand it’s okay to not be included in everything

oh MAN do i have feelings 😩 dream and sapnap are almost comically emasculated by any little thing that makes them feel inferior and that includes being excluded from things. and i personally feel they have no right to get angry about being left out and to then show up onto their streams to express that theyre upset in front of an audience of thousands. i say this because the other three ALWAYS mention that they dm'd them and invited them to the activity or otherwise said they had reason to believe dream or sapnap wouldnt be available (and even outside of that, theyre not required to tell the other about every single one of their plans lol)

i think getting confrontational about it on stream in the middle of planned activities is childish. take a look at bad for example, who also isnt a part of the trio but doesnt get confrontational about having been left out. the trio is full of lighthearted people, bad came into the call and they asked him if he wanted to join in the game they were playing and he did and that was it. compare that to dream or sapnap and when they join calls. theyre consistently immediately accusatory. the trio will take it in stride (cus again. an audience of over 100k is watching. its really not the time and place to whine and get mad about feeling left out, those are convos to have in private), theyll throw some facts like "we invited you" "you said you were busy" "we already had this planned for a while" etc., then theyll offer an invitation to join. this invitation is usually met w quite frankly STUPID debate about "well why wasnt i included in the first place" like dude. read the room, youre streamers for a living, talk about these things off stream like an adult. plus they literally already said you could join if you still wanted to, whats the problem, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be. it just stalls the stream and their plans and shifts the lighthearted tone into somethin a little more careful (however briefly it might be, it didnt need to happen)

i LOVE karl for saying that theyre their own group and joking that their attitude is why theyre friends of sex havers. it felt like a lighthearted way to lift the mood again and kinda say "hey, we do our own things sometimes, chill"

i cant speak for whether i think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out cus not only do i not know them personally, theyre also not ccs i focus energy on (thats for quackity and george 😌) i DO think that with all the times theyve brought it up when crashing the trio streams, they should really by this point have talked about it off screen. it feels almost like they use the audience as a safety net to avoid the consequence of intruding/being mean cus whoever theyre talking to has to keep a certain face and therefore cant say certain things (might even hazard a guess that off screen they probably still dont REALLY talk about it)

i dont blame them for wanting to be a part of things their friends are doing but i blame them for the way they express that. it makes the atmosphere tense by making it far too personal for something thats visible to a live public audience.

i know theyre around the same age, but the way dream an sapnap handle conflict on screen IS immature vs the way quackity and karl do. quackity and karl have been entertainers for A WHILE and understand how to stay entertaining and theyre far more aware of their audience and the overall mood and how to handle problems and conflict without things getting too tense. dream and sapnap (sapnap moreso) have a habit of being confrontational and not lightening the mood and instead continuing to be mad, making everyone else in the call responsible for the energy of the stream instead of them themselves dealing with the tenseness theyve caused. it makes things awkward and im always hoping itll end fast and that theyd please for the love of god talk about it off stream

thats worded a little dramatically cus its rarely ever THAT bad, but it would be SO much better if it just didnt happen yknow. if they understood that they dont have to be a part of everything their other friends do AND if they understood that getting mad on stream and stalling their plans and souring the vibe isnt the best way to handle it.

tl;dr: theyre their own group who do their own things and arent required to share their plans w the rest of their friends (and usually they dm in advance anyway asking if they wanna be a part of their plans). dream and sapnap feeling excluded isnt something they should get overly heated about on stream (its an immature way to bring up the issue especially without ever offering a solution). these are problems they should talk about off stream where the trio dont have to be so conscious about their audience and its perception. i love karl and quackity for emphasizing that theyre their own group with their own plans and joking that the way they act is WHY theyre not part of the group. i think they deal w it as well as they can and i think dream and sapnap need to learn just a little more spacial awareness and how to handle conflict

edit: quackity/karl/george should be fully able to have their own stream together without anyone else intruding. dream and sapnap arent their bosses, they dont need to run all their plans by them first. if they want to have streams with just their own established group, they should be able to have that.

[absentpresent]

tips for the zodiac signs

aries - you can be sunshines and angles but you need to understand that you fucking annoy people and that you are the reason people might suffer more. your problems arent peoples businnes. taurus - just because you don't understand something doesn't mean its wrong. sit down and let other people breathe, and they sure do need distance from you. accept that you can be a negative factor for people and that they do not want to have anything to do with you. gemini - let it happen and feel it. you dont need to find a reason for any and everything in your life. you can have love and positivity but you destroy it almost everytime when the universe wants do give you some luck. you destroy it yourself. and sometimes you cause negative feelings in other people and friends because you tend to be a bitch to yourself. cancer - all the doors are open. you are your biggest reason as to why you experience unhappiness and bad luck. you do not realize how blessed you are. stop letting other people influence you. stop integrating other peoples problems in your life. you must remember that everything you do is love and you need to shut up. cancer you archieve happiness if you stop comparing your friends who are in other situations than you to you. she has better grades than you because instead of worrying she uses her time which you clearly dont to do anything useful. leo - you deserve love and you give love. it is a unit that you are part of. give yourself credit and forget other peoples view of you. accept that you are a gift and that you can do so many positive things. you can be a true blessing. most of the time you dont even know what you do to other people and let the truth be told, it isnt good. give people time, let them breathe and stop competing. virgo - you try so hard and you do so much, you are a real friend and worker. you also tend to be a bitch with bad hair but you are one of the kindest and purest people. if you dont start to question peoples intention with you, you will suffer in the future. make yourself your priority and stand up for your friends and foremost for yourself. do not accept any shit and continue looking for purity and love. it will find its way to you eventually. you archieve great things and the universe is watching you all the time. libra - sometimes its better to let disagreement and injustice happen. understand that it is not your job to create justice, you are observing it in all its forms and the universe is sending you blessings for your job. realize that you are your own person and that you should stick your nose to your business. do not interfere with issues you cannot change. make peace instead by saying it out loud and stand strong for the weak. you are a beast and people love you because youre pure and deserve happiness. again learn when its time to let it pass and let a bigger force deal with it and learn when its time to speak up for the better. scorpio - you must learn how to love properly. stop playing the hard jealous snake. you are here to love and to create enjoyment. its not fulfilling you to be the strong aggressive person when in fact you depend on love. matter of fact you need love, otherwise you will drown in your own water. accept that other people have greater deals to look out for than your friendship. soemtimes people dont have solidarity for you and you have to keep going without letting it crush your health. dont force love, it will come to you if you take time to actually feel all feelings inside of you. deal with them to get free. sagittarius - the luck the universe sends you daily is being denied by you on a daily basis. accept that you create issues in your head that you cannot fix because they do not exist. you paint the wolf on the wall saying its you who should be punished. but you dont realize that you are the one. people only want half of you because you dont stop beig cautious. even if youre in heaven you will always feel like something is missing and you dont realize that it is self love. stop making everyone else happy and start making yourself happy. stop with bad habits that you know are effectively hurting you. stop hurting yourself with numbing your pain. capricorn - stop imagining scenarios that will never happen. you stress people and blame them with your problems. you need to understand that nobody is obligated to help you but they do because you are someone to be happy to have in ones life. you are one of the hardest workers and one of the kindest people deep down. you are the king and the queen, but you need to stop hardening yourself up from pain and shame. you do not meet the right people and the universe places rocks on your way because they are supposed to teach you skills on how to continue. stop screaming, stop running away and stop hiding. one of the things you must learn is that nobody is against you and nobody fears you. you must allow your feelings to be felt and you must allow yourself to cry and actually experience negative feelings. they are necessary for your survival. aquarius - people dont seem to understand that you are not willing to participate and thats why they force you to match up with them. as much as you try to differ from the mass, as deep are you in it. you formed it and cannot fix it. stop being silent and start being direct. understand that the form of love that you are looking for is found in unsual ways. you must stop eating your thoughts, anger, frustration and joyment up. a way for you to stay the healthiest form of your being is by being available for the things you dont like. they will show you freedom. stop forcing your ideas into people face and face the fact that you are being noticed by people. and they avoid you for their own health. pisces - this has gone on for way too long. stop sharing your fears and stop giving people opportunities to destroy and manipulate you. sleep until noon and find yourself by uniting with nature. stop manipulating yourself by pretending you are doing good things. if you took time to realize what is happening in your life you would be able to abandon shame. stop feeling embarassed and go out because people will see you as the great person you are but you can never make them your problem. stop making yourself the victim and find your own way to release all tension inside you.

[grotesquegabby]

Might be a long answer but I wanted to ask X3 What is your opinion about every single killer in DBD?

awe shiet~ here is the list and how I feel x3

GhostFace: I just played against him and seeing him run by all I could say ahh its the sexyman himself mmmmmm.. x3 I love Ghostface but I make a lot of them mad but they arent the only killer I make mad. x3 I leved mine on the switch up to level 6 but still havent played as him. I cant wait~ They do be sneaky which makes sense its Ghostface. I also like going up against him cause the sound of his knife swing is just (9 u^u)9 beautiful~

The Shape/Micheal Myers: big and beefy mmm those broad shoulders~ Its terrifying going up against him cause just like Ghostface kind of a small terror radius plus his theme music gives me feelings. Not all of them terrifying x3 lol anyway~....for some reason Ive ended up as the obsession more often with Micheal. Lucky me? x3

The Executioner/Pyramid Head: They nerfed his ass because it was too powerful, and only a few people still have that skin for pyramid head. Bring back his ass! (9 *O*)9 ahhhhh, but mm I like him, Ive been I think...moried by Pyramid head twice. ANd hes the only killer to have moried me at the moment. He moried me each time because I pissed off whoever was playing him x3 I kept being a ...distraction.

The Trapper: Ive played against some new trappers and recently some who played him really really well. Ive heard a little of his story and eee sounds like a daddys boy. Really looks up to his dad and it did not seem like a healthy role model whatsoever but im still working on getting story since I havent played as killer just yet. Gotta be in the right mind set. uwu But this is an alright killer its easy for me to avoid traps and usually get out of them if I have Feng as my character.

The Wraith: Ive had....a time with the wraith. Recently a lot of good players have been the wraith and its frustrating but this is a killer i do feel kind of bad for. I wish I knew how the wraith became the wraith and looking like how he do but his little backstory got me feeling bad for him. But damn his invisible ass be making me mad x3 Like theres a survivor right there but no you gotta come at me. maybe he knows something about me that the survivors dont i dont know x3

The Hillbilly: I dont know if Ive won against the hillbilly but his story makes me feel bad for him too. His parents got what was coming to them. But poor guy part of mes like cant we just show this killer some love and compassion and maybe he can be better ;7; but hes gotten me a lot x3

The Nurse: The nurse i find to actually be an easier killer to face cause she moves pretty slowly but the last one I faced downed two survivors and stood right by them waiting for me and the other person still standing to come heal them. I think we managed to heal them but I dont remember if we all escaped or if she got them again. uwu I also...feel for her backstory as well. shes been through so much emotionally and mentally...im not surprised about what happened to her but i feel it could have been avoided somehow...again I feel bad for her.

The Hag: another killer I feel bad for due to their backstory...but I do dislike going against her..and her charms.....Her fucking decoys scare the shit outta me and its a bitch and a half to unhook someone x3 but it does keep one on their toes. Ive only escaped her once every time after Ive died x3

The Doctor: This bitch...ive noticed playing against the Doctor usually results in camping....letting people bleed to death and being used as bait for other survivors. Usually the Doctors are assholes from what Ive seen most of the time anytime I go agaisnt a Doctor its a lot of the same tactics.

The Huntress: I feel for her story but i also dislike how she took care of the little girls she kidnapped. Like...why did they starve to death first of all...she knows what starvation is so yeah...anyway Ive faced Huntress many times. Always narrowly avoiding her thrown hachets. fun x3 Ive tricked her many times too even when she camped this one round I faced a few days back. (- =w=-) hehehe still fixed that last generator~  But shes pretty decent to go against. I think there was a time one tried to help me exit but.....didint do so good they kept dropping me by the door expecting me to get up but i was too injured for it. then the entity got me.

The Clown: hate him...one; he ugly. two: he nasty and not in the good way. Three: i dont like his outfit..its gross. four: i find his aesthetic awful. its displeasing to my eyes. It never described what he did to his victims but.....something about him just I really dont like. Could be the fact hes kind of like John wayne gacy but....something makes me feel...gross u.u So out of most of the killers besides the Doctor the Clown does make me uncomfortable. and I love clowns but not this clown.

The Spirit: Her story made me sad..and angry. Like oof....I dont have all the words to describe how I felt for her. But shes an interesting killer, ive faced her only a few times. I can hear her scream and it sounds so sad and painful though like part of me wants to run to her and be like ahhhhhhh ill scream with you, screamings cathartic. x3

The Deathslinger: faced him once? I dont think I lived...I was the distraction too many times in that round and probably got hooked near dying so x3 but his gun is cool glad I didnt get grabbed by it though. Apparently as it drags you in he walks to you.

The Oni: big~ I mean spooky x3 I like this guy. Ive faced him a few times. I dont know his story I dont think I’ve read it yet but I do like him. Is it true him and the spirit are related, if so thats neat but damn...is her family cursed or something like whaaa! its terrifying when he gets all powered up and charges. I saw him run down the map and I was shook!

The Demogorgon: the noises...mmmm. anyway x3 recently made one mad~ stayed near me while I died on the hook. But I do enjoy going up against it as long as its one of the open maps. those building maps like the school or hispital ;7; i hate it, i hate going against any killers in those type of maps.

The Plague: I personally dont like vomit x3 but I do like The Plague. shes pretty~ (- uwu-) I faced her in the hospital and died too but like x3 it was interesting. Ive never been vomited on before oh wait nevermind babies did that to me. but by an adult no never x3 her story is interesting but I also do sort of feel for her as well cause of it.

The Legion:  Didnt know these were teens till you mentioned it x3 I like their masks. Every time still...i played against legion again this week and it was one of the bunny skins. x3 they got me it was the first time a legion played saw me and got me. pretty nice playing against Legion though.

The Pig: Played against her once I think i dont think i got the trap on my head but i dont fully remember. uwu seeing the little puppet made me smile~

The Cannibal: I dont really care for the movie series despite not seeing it but ive seen enough clips and heard anough to know I wont like it. Facing him is a bitch and a half with his flailing. The last few times Ive played against him everyone died.

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[thebeethathums]

Observers - 24

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Warnings: Manic mess making and fear

You woke up with a sore throat, no doubt courtesy of the cold in your flat, and groaned, rolling over to look for John. He was gone and when you saw the time it was no surprise, like clockwork that man, always up before nine. Pulling yourself out of bed felt like the most difficult thing in the world but you managed to get yourself to your feet. You trudged down the stairs, rubbing your eyes as you came into the living room, only to jump when they found Sherlock in his chair. You snapped your head to face forward and then consciously avoided that area, slipping into the kitchen in search of John. You found him, as usual, making tea and quietly began poking at Sherlock’s science equipment on the table, you’d always been interested in the oddly colored liquids he worked with and wondered briefly what would happen if you mixed two of the vials together. John happened to look up just as you got a wicked smile on your face and picked up a vial with something blue in it, “Put that down.”   You pouted in a slightly hoarse voice, “But it’s so pretty… and it would look prettier mixed with that.” You innocently pointed to a green vial, still holding the blue one in one hand, secretly hoping something cool and/or destructive would happen, and John leveled you with a glare, “Put it down. I already have Sherlock almost blowing up the flat on a regular basis and he knows what he’s doing. I don’t need you causing trouble too.” 

You pursed your lips unhappily, putting the vial back in its place reluctantly just as Sherlock came into the doorway. Your eyes went wide and you ducked behind John as he stepped forward to pick up the vial you’d just been holding, scrutinizing it in the light. 

He turned to say something to you but you were gone, having dashed out the door while he was otherwise distracted, and John just shrugged when he gave him an inquisitive look, “If you want to know how her mind works go ask her ‘cause I haven’t the foggiest.” You were sitting in John’s chair when he came into the living room, your knees pulled up to your chest as you took deep breaths, trying to reassure yourself that it was all just a dream. He could see you tense as he came into your peripheral vision and, instead of demanding you tell him why, he sat down across from you, opting to read you instead. You looked up at him, playing the little staring game that had become common between the two of you since that first day. You didn’t try to hide anything, he would always find out in the end so it was pointless to try and do so, and let your eyes take him in, facing your fears as best you could. He could see that you were afraid and his jaw clenched when he realized it was him the feeling was directed at, he went over his actions over the past couple of days trying to find a source for your fear and, coming up with none, came to the conclusion that he must have made an appearance in your nightmare. Your subconscious was making him a threat, why? What had you seen to make someone like you, uninhibited, brave, and a little crazy, so fearful of someone who just the day before you had shown more trust in than anyone aside from John? He must have triggered something by showing you a little more attention than he normally would. This is why we always run experiments appropriately he thought to himself, if he had kissed you there was no telling what unintended effects it may have had. He was surprised when, for the first time since he’d met you, you purposefully looked away from his gaze, burying your face in your knees with a shaky sigh. That was probably more telling to him than anything else you’d done, coupled with the fact that you jumped when John placed a hand on your back as he walked in, “You ok, Squeak?” You tilted your head to look up at him, “Yeah, Johnny. Just thinking.” “The nightmare again?” You didn’t answer, tucking your head back between your knees, and he sighed, “You can stay in my room while I’m gone if you’d like.” You were up like lightning, bolting towards the door, “Thank you, but no, John. I’ll be downstairs.” He looked after you with a little frown, “Maybe I should stay…” “Why? You can hardly protect her from her mind, John.” He knew Sherlock was right but he still wanted to, he felt so helpless, he hadn’t been able to protect you before and now you were here with him and he still couldn’t. It was aggravating. He took a deep breath to let go of his frustrations, maybe some time away would do the both of you some good. He would be able to process everything that had happened and you could come to terms with the fact you no longer had to hide things. A short while later you saw him off, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek as you promised to at least try and stay out of trouble while he was gone before ducking back into your apartment. You toed some of the mess you’d made in your flat across the floor with a heavy sigh, sometimes your artistic side could be a pain as it was also the part of your personality that threw you into almost frantic fits of destruction when you were upset. You looked around. You’d pulled all your old sketchbooks from their place on one of your two large bookshelves and strewn them about, things you had tucked in them escaping to litter the floor. The corner you had set your easel up in was painfully empty as you had flattened the wooden structure and pushed it against the wall, tearing down the tarps to throw over it so you didn’t have to look at it. Your painting stool was toppled on its side and tubes of paint and brushes were tossed haphazardly on your couch and coffee table. The drafting table you used as a desk was tilted so nothing could sit on its surface and your papers, pens, pencils, and larger drawings were scattered on the floor next to it. You held your head in your hands, trying to get a hold of yourself before you destroyed something you couldn’t replace, and then sank down in your chair, feeling exhausted for some reason. Leaning back into it limply, you tried to go into your creative space to at least come up with a better way to handle your frustrations and uneasiness only to have your concentration rudely jarred as the door to your flat was flung open. You nearly toppled your chair backward as you jumped back, “Bloody hell, Sherlock! If you aren’t going to knock can’t you at least be gentle with the door?” His jaw went slightly slack as he took in the state of your flat and you got up to put the chair in between you and him, instinctively seeking a way to protect yourself. Your tone was slightly hostile as you softly asked, “Are you going to tell me what you want or do I have to guess?” “Tea,” he lied, knowing that at the moment you weren’t likely to call his bluff. Though annoyed you obliged, escaping to the kitchen with a slight sense of relief and leaving him to do what he did best, observe. If he had had any doubt as to your interest in him, it was squelched now as his eyes found not only the large sketches of him that had been stashed away on your drafting table but various drawings of him on things ranging from napkins to cardstock advertisements smattered across the floor. He stopped short of your couch when he spotted your current sketchbook on the coffee table, open to your most recent set of drawings. They were also of him but in a very different light than all the others, his face malevolent and his stance extremely threatening, and a couple had his hand raised in such a way that it was obviously going to make contact with the viewer. If Sherlock had ever felt like he had a heart, it was then as pain wrenched through his chest when he realized what you must have seen in your dream and in turn why you were avoiding him. He stepped over your mess and into the kitchen, watching you tense again as you sensed his presence before you took some deep breaths and mumbled to yourself about reality. You turned to offer him a weak grin and a cup of tea, which he accepted only to set down as he closed the gap between the two of you, trapping you between himself and the counter so you couldn’t dash away again. Your form went rigid as your brain fell back on its instincts for situations like this- you’d learned that fighting back would only cause more pain for you in the end, so you turned your cheek and steeled yourself what should come next. It never came. Instead, a hand gently wove its way into your hair, encouraging you to make eye contact with its owner, which you did, looking up at him through your lashes warily. His eyes looked pained and you tilted your head confusedly, forgetting your own potential pain in favor of wanting to stop whatever was causing his. Your fingers seemed to make their way to his sharp cheeks without your permission, taking his face in your hands as you breathed, “What’s the matter, Sherlock?” In response he brought his other hand up, causing you to flinch and pull your hands away from him as you internally cursed yourself for falling into a false sense of security. He brought his hand to your face cautiously, his touch as gentle and feather-light as he could manage as he shifted his other hand so he could cradle your cheeks, causing you to look up at him again as he said only one word, “Never.” You relaxed and he let his hands fall to his side before grabbing his tea and going back out to the living room to drop down in your chair. Standing there frozen for a few minutes, you recovered and went out to where he was to press a light kiss to his cheek as you murmured, “Thank you, Sherly.” A slight smirk crossed his face at his success and you plopped down on the floor to put everything back where it was supposed to be.

[anarchistsuggestion]

hey, vaccinate your kids you jerks!!!

thanks for coming to my essay! now that i have your attention, i think we should stop talking about anti-vaxxers like theyre all backwards hyper-religious dumbasses. like, im frustrated too, and i agree that "personal/religious reasons" should not allow someone to keep their kids unvaccinated. furthermore, as an autistic person, i despise the myth that vaccines cause autism. i especially hate that it scares people into avoiding vaccines, because theres nothing wrong with me.

but ridiculing these people will only make the problem worse, and here's why: i think that a lot of anti-vaxxers and their communities are used to feeling like the most important aspects of their cultural identities are universally mocked or demonised (im not qualified to say whether these feelings reflect reality in every case, but either way im just talking about feelings, ie, what people think we believe about their culture). for instance, my only knowledge of amish people comes from jokes ive seen others make about them. yes, none of these jokes were very serious, and its easy for me to laugh at them because im not amish, but despite my low empathy i can understand that it just feels bad to hear a whole bunch of jokes about something important to you. i'll get back to this point in a moment.

anyway, i bring up the amish because in 2014, there were measles outbreaks in some amish communities in Ohio. and i think that a lot of the people who dont vaccinate their kids are used to being ridiculed for their "weird" or "new age" or "hyper-religious" or "unchristian" lifestyles, so they just see our concern as more of that mockery. we all sound the same to them, and cant you see why?

"ughh all these people ignoring science and being stubborn about vaccines because their church said--" you sound like one of those atheists. if you cant say anything productive, please stay out of the discussion. why do you act like ridiculing people will change their minds? we should be reaching out, instead.

we need to make the effort to approach anti-vaxxers in a way that distinguishes us from those who only converse with them to mock them.

i want more people to understand that the best way to change someone's mind when they're defensive is by listening. you need to be willing to accept whatever they might rant about, and respect that, even if their fears seem ridiculous, even if their fears are rooted in ableism, their fears still terrify them. thats why theyre called fears. you can validate someone's feelings of anxiety and confusion without validating their bigotry, and you must be willing to accept that this is work. this is difficult. it's much, much harder than yelling your opinions. it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't even pay off. sometimes you just can't convince somebody, and you have to be able to accept that.

if this seems too hard for you, i have good news: you do not have to do it. this kind of thing is not for everyone, and it's okay if you just don't want to. this doesn't have to be your responsibility.

i only ask that you stop making things worse by (performatively, in the case of yall who arent in danger of dying/losing a loved one to a preventable disease) mocking anti-vaxxers, because we are the ones who need something from them. we are asking them to face their fears (which were sometimes instilled in them very early in their childhood) for the good of humanity. i don't know about all of you, but i'd be hesitant at best to face even my third worst fear (spiders) for the sake of strangers who regularly mock my culture and heritage, and i know for a fact that most spiders cannot harm me!

this is natural. this is human. it is easy to dismiss things you dont understand, and it's even easier to dismiss them when all the scientific evidence agrees with you. however, your evidence does not make these people's experiences and fears less real for them. it does not lessen the effect their fear has on their choices. knowing that a tarantula won't hurt me if i follow certain guidelines will not stop me from shaking and having a breakdown if i think too hard about touching one. knowing that nothing bad would happen doesn't motivate me to go over to the science building at my college and ask to hold their fucking tarantula.

there are no shortcuts here. if we want anti-vaxxers to accept vaccines and stop putting so much effort towards keeping their children unvaccinated, we have to convince them that they don't need to be afraid of vaccines. we need to actually address their concerns. telling them their fears are ridiculous is just not convincing no matter how much scientific evidence you have. this discussion has become too performative. people just tell anti-vaxxers to vaccinate their kids, and they dont bother to address the fear that motivates their opponents. they don't care that they're asking people to trust a yelling internet stranger with their child's health.

it is inconsiderate to demand things from people without stopping to think about what you're asking for. please think about it from their point of view. if vaccines were dangerous, and they vaccinated their kids, then anything bad that happened to their kids due to the vaccines would be their responsibility. and remember, these people have not been given a convincing reason to believe vaccines are harmless. okay? they do not want to be at fault for their children getting hurt. yes, they are wrong. yes, they are frustrating. yes, they are endangering immunocompromised people like my dad, but there is a huge difference between being malicious and being misguided. please do not treat them like they set out to hurt you.

also? stop telling them to care about other people when you don't care enough about them to respect that they're doing their best with the resources they have. stop saying "i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" when you really just want them to magically stop being scared. maybe you say it out of genuine frustration and bewilderment, but when everyone is saying it, it comes across like a smug 'gotcha!' phrase that excuses you from spending more energy on the debate. you can just say youre tired and stop.

i am trying to explain to you that you should care that these people have felt scammed/hurt by the medical industry enough times that they feel justified in risking the health of their whole family (assuming they even think vaccines work). you should care that theyve never been given a convincing reason to trust remedies promoted by rich strangers who make claims that sound too good to be true. the government has promoted harmful things to underprivileged people before, like milk (it took me a half hour to sift through unrelated stuff about soy milk to confirm this, so i'll go ahead and link my source). it is logical to mistrust an industry that operates for the profit of people youve never met. not everyone trusts the FDA to keep the pharmaceutical industry in check, and it's actually pretty smart to rely on direct accounts from people you know personally when you aren't sure how well something actually works, and you dont trust the ones selling it to you.

with that in mind, talking to people is probably the best way to tackle this issue, but many of you haven't bothered to compile introductory information about vaccines. you havent bothered to present these resources in a way that doesn't ridicule people who are scared. i am trying to explain to you that you shouldn't debate with people if you won't treat them like humans. i am trying to explain to you that "you dont actually care about others" is a hurtful and manipulative sentiment, and when you say it to people who are trying their best, you become part of the problem. you reinforce their mistrust. i am trying to explain to you that trusting doctors doesnt make you morally superior.

put yourself in their shoes for a moment. imagine that someone comes up to you and makes it clear that they think the choices you've made as a parent are ridiculous. they make claims about your child without offering proof, or the only proof they offer also mocks you and people like you (or they just tell you to "google it"). furthermore, they tell you that unless you give in, something bad will happen to their own children, and it will be your fault.

this is manipulative. even if you are correct, it is manipulative. demanding that someone treat their child in a way that they consider harmful is just ridiculous and i don't know why you expect people to listen to you. do you expect this to be easy? do you honestly believe that if someone isn't converted within minutes, they're just being stubborn? do you think these people know the truth, and only persist out of spite?

these questions are necessary, because many of you talk about anti-vaxxers as though the answer is 'yes.' there is a difference between being correct and treating people right. please be more aware of that line in the future, and do your best not to cross it.

oh, and by the way, if i see any of you using this year's measles outbreaks as an excuse to be hateful towards jewish people, i will block and report you. antivaxxers usually arent malicious, and if you perceive orthodox jewish antivaxxers as being worse than other antivaxxers, you need to rethink your beliefs. they arent rejecting vaccines just to hurt you. maybe theyre tired of being demonised and blamed for everything from climate change to unemployment to dead kids*, and theyre unwilling to trust random people with something as important as the health of their children when a lot of us have never bothered to listen to their struggles. (* ive seen a whole lot of people saying things that border on blood libel without quite involving blood during these discussions, so can we all agree to be careful not to do anything that resembles that shit now that ive provided a handy link about what it is? thanks)

lastly, all of this criticism of anti-anti-vaxxers is very easy for me to say because i have less of a personal stake in the issue. i know it must hurt in a way i can't currently understand to lose someone to a preventable disease. if i have made anyone feel dismissed or invalidated in this essay post, i'm sorry for doing so, and i want to make it clear that it is okay if you hate anti-vaxxers. i know their fear has hurt you, and i wouldn't ask you to pretend otherwise. i dont want to make any of you feel like you shouldn't talk about your experiences and fears. i'm just asking that, before you hit the post button, you read through your post and edit out anything manipulative or guilt-trippy. your contributions to this conversation are valuable, and i want the people youre trying to convince to be able to read them without feeling like they have to defend themselves instead of listening to you. the culture around this debate has become almost hostile, and while we dont all need to work directly with anti-vaxxers to make it better, we do all need to agree to stop making it worse.

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[skeletorific]

I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Skeleton

The name changes. To some its known as Reaper’s Grind. To others, Bones and Brew. To still others, MarshMarrow. It depends who’s in charge that month. Regardless of the name, it is always painted in black script on a driftwood sign, carved so that it appears to be cradled by giant skeleton hands.

Most see this sign and assume its some kind of Halloween or Goth themed establishment. However, the caffeine addicted of the city know there’s no better place to get your fix. As long as your willing to put up with the quirks of the owners.

The cafe is a cozy space, varying levels of clean depending on who’s on staff. The walls are beige, with abstract murals of black paint covering the walls. Frequent patrons will notice that the murals seem to expand as time goes on. Every now and then they’ll come in to the walls completely blank, having apparently been painted over, only to start again. Rumor has it that if you squint you can make out swear words, or even bad jokes in the design. Squinting is not encouraged. There is also a shelf of books for customers to peruse or even purchase. Mostly trashy romance novels for reasons no one has ever been able to figure out, as well as joke books, science textbooks, car magazines, and, most bewilderingly, puzzle theory. 

The cafe has 8 owners, usually with only two or three on staff at a time. They all look so similar that most believe they’re related. Some will even call each other “brother” or “bro”, which seems to confirm it, but everyone worries it’d be racist to ask.

Papyrus is usually on staff in the mornings, which is a good thing. He’s a bright and perky presence to start your day with, and he does his best to create a welcoming environment for those on their way to an early morning commute. He specializes in perk ups, something to get help you shake off those last remnants of sleep while preventing those midmorning crashes. He’ll usually try to coax customers into the healthier versions. “REALLY, ALMOND MILK IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!” He also is very good at remembering small details about his regulars. Some of them come to depend on him as a daily reminder to take their meds. Now if only he was better at remembering names...he tends to come up with nicknames for people he sees a lot and they stick with him more than their actual names. An absolute sweetheart who keeps the store spotless, but if he tries to get you to sample his latest pastry invention, politely decline.

Sans is a less energetic presence to be sure (he can usually be found asleep and propped up in some corner if no one on shift bothers to wake him up), but he’s also a well-liked staple of the cafe. He has an easy, laid-back small talk that can set even the most agoraphobic introvert at ease, and writes bad jokes on coffee cups. His coffee is mostly pretty basic stuff, but if you know him well and ask him for the secret stuff....well, you’d be be prepared to deal with the fallout. That particular menu option is the last resort of grad students trying to get through their thesis. The effects are somewhere between Red Eye and Speed. One girl reported a full week of being unable to close her eyes, by the end of which she could taste color and was carrying on active conversations in a language that she did not know. It is varying levels of legal depending on who you ask. Just dont narc. And don’t ask in front of his brother. 

Its easy to tell when Red is on the clock, his motorcycle is easily the most ostentatious thing in the parking lot. So much so that he insists on a two parking spot bubble around it to avoid scratches. He also refuses to take off his leather jacket, wearing it over his uniform. No apron. Not a fuckin chance. His customer service is at best ehhh (unless he considers you attractive, in which case, prepare your flirtatious barista fantasies), but the boy makes a pumpkin spice latte so good it should be illegal. Spiced drinks as a whole are his specialty. When fall and winter roll around he brings customers in like flies to honey to get a taste of it, and it make the cafe smell amazing. Don’t tell anyone but he has a habit of “forgetting” to make people pay for their coffee when they look like they’re having a rough time. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s kind of a softie. Abysmal cleaning, and he’s usually making drinks for himself on the clock, but once you get to know the guy, he’s a pretty good dude. Also his music taste is fire and the cafe playlist gets infinitely better whenever he’s on staff.

Edge is a different story. While all of them technically own the store in equal parts and no one is legally in charge, it was pretty quickly discovered that mixing Edge with customer service was a recipe for disaster. So he takes on a more managerial role, dealing with finance, shipment, rent, and advertising deals. Everything needed to keep the place afloat. When he’s on shift (and he usually is), he can generally be found in the office unless the place is absolutely slammed. Though he’s not much for dealing with customers, he’s excellent at making gourmet drinks. His skills were made for Instagram. He also has just a biiiit of a soft spot for the kids that sometimes come in,  and may have quietly slipped in some more child friendly options to the bookshelf, as well as a couple action figures that Red swears look familiar. 

If you want a high octane burst without risking your life, Blue is your guy. I mean, the dude’s practically a walking five hour energy. He is more than generous with his definition of what a shot is, and blends in truly irresponsible amounts of sugar and sweetner for an extra kick. Kids naturally love the insanely sweet taste but it is not recommended that parents let them finish a full sized one. If Edge is on the clock he will straight up slap it out of his hands before people start bouncing off the walls. Blue is also incredibly sweet and friendly with the customers, and has amassed a decent sized collection of regulars who only became regulars due to a crush on him. He flirts shamelessly but never lets it go too far.

Stretch likes doing novelty drinks. Did someone say Unicorn Frappucinnos? The weirder and more poorly conceived the better. He also does most of the baking for the cafe. Muffet taught him a lot about pastries back underground, although it took a while to make the transition from spider carcasses to just...you know, normal flour. He switches the menu up a lot when he gets bored of making the same thing, although for some reason corndogs are always an option. The kitchen really is the best place for him. Leaving him unattended on the front tends to lead to miscief, especially if his brother is there to egg him on. He’ll loosely detach his hand only to enjoy the horrified looks when it pops off as he hands a drink to the customer. They get more negative Yelp reviews that way, but a lot of customers enjoy his sense of humor. He has absolutely tried to pull the Salt and Pepper diner bit by editing the playlist for the cafe 

Black is a bit of an odd duck in the cafe. He doesn’t have the patience to sit still long enough for managerial responsibilities. He’s terrible with customer service. His drinks arent bad, but the coffee is as black as his soul regardless of what they actually ordered. Even when forced to make something a little less straightforward he makes it incredibly bitter, because to him, coffee should never be sweet! If you don’t want bitter, don’t get coffee!! some wonder why the others even bother to let him on staff. But Black’s role is vital. Its inevitable that asshole customers pop up in a coffee shop. Entitled, being a dick to either the other baristas or even other customers. And this is where Black shines. Come hell or highwater he can get any customer out in less than a minute with little to no scene, both reducing the time they’re  in the store and the risk that watching the altercation might cause an anxiety spike in one of their customers. He just up and carts them out of the store, then returns a few moments later, quietly checking in on everyone involved to make sure no one was hurt or too shaken up. When asked what happens to these guys the only thing Black will ever say is “NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE”. He also keeps the place spotless. May or may not help Blue and Stretch with the pranks, though he’ll deny it to the bitter end.

While Blue may lowkey flirt with a few and Red may highkey flirt with a lot, Rus is flirting with everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. Not being creepy, but chances are you’re leaving with red cheeks that have nothing to with the hot drink in your hand. He’s fairly popular for precisely this reason, though very few have ever gotten a serious date out of it. The man makes a mean cappucinno, great herbal  teas and has those smoky bedroom eyes. There’s buzz that he’s also the one responsible for the ever evolving mural, though he never confirms it. Rus takes far too many smoke breaks and doesn’t clean worth a damn but is responsible for nearly half of their consistent customer base. He has a sixth sense for creeps. If he sees a date going on where one of them is looking exceedingly uncomfortable, he can effortlessly swoop in and charm the pants off them until the other asshole leaves in frustration. If he sees someone looking nervous he has ways of subtly getting out of them what the problem is. And if he ever gets the vibe that someone is being harassed he may or may not sic Black onto them without batting an eye. Much as he seems not to give a damn about anything regarding work, Rus takes it as a minor point of pride that their cafe is a safe space for people to get away from it all, if only for a couple minutes.

Bonus:

Axe is their maintenance man who comes in whenever equipment breaks, while Crooks is the night janitor who will often come in with his brother on daytime calls. Both of them are a bit too...unstable for regualar shift jobs. Maintenance positions allows them to be on their own if they need to be and generally avoid stressful triggers. Still, Crooks loves the cafe. On his good days he helps Stretch with the baking, and when the day is really slow Blue and Papyrus will teach him how to mix drinks. Axe is a little more grumbly about it but even he admits its kind of a calm space to be in. The man drinks exculsively black coffee though so he kind of misses out on most of the menu. When he’s in a good mood he competes with Red over flirting with customers. 

Special thanks to @jezziconvair who gave me the idea for a lot of the drink specialities and who Tumblr isn’t letting me tag for some reason!

[tumblunni]

10 facts about trixie!

Oh wow, totally forgot I got this meme earlier this month??I’m sorry, buddy!

10 Trixie Facts:

* The protagonist adopted her, and they’d only been together for about three or four years before the zombie apocolypse started. But they’re absolutely, utterly a fire-forged bond that can never be broken. Mum spent like a decade trying to adopt a child, every time Trixie doubts that she’s really wanted her mother has a whole cabinet full of paperwork proving otherwise! And Trixie doubts so much because she was a ‘multiple offender’ at the foster home, she was almost adopted several times but all the people before Ms Boyd always returned her before even a year had passed. She was considered a problem case and so she became one, she became a cynical mess who never even tried anymore. But somehow this lady just would not give up on her no matter how much she tried to chase her away, and now she’s finally got the first stable home in her lifetime, and her first experience of a good parent......whiiiiich ended up being a problem, because Mum Boyd’s excessive optimism has led to keeping her daughter’s zombie around and pretending like nothing has happened. Trixie never predicted the full extent of her mother’s dedication on that day she asked “please never give up on me”.* At the start of the game, zombified Trixie’s awareness of this weird tall person who follows her around is pretty much a constant doubt emoji. So probably I’m gonna mix it up with occasional comedic interludes from her perspective, to break up all tha sad. Plus also to make it clear that this zombies do actually have some degree of a soul, and this isn’t just a story there’s no point in reading cos its guaranteed to have a bad ending.ANYWAY WHERE WAS IThe only part of herself she initially retained (aside from adorable grumpyness) was just this weird voice in the back of her head saying “Don’t eat this one.” And she’s pretty frustrated that it doesn’t even have the decency to run away like the others!She doesnt really know that she’s forgotten anything, so she’s been like

“Why is it here. What is happening. Its shaped like a thing but it isn’t. Why won’t it go away.”Just a wild haze of comparing this thing’s behaviours VS every other human, seriously where is the correlation, what is wrong with this “mum” and how do you define a “mum”. Is it like some sort of elite human superweapon??And even the heartfelt moments are totally ruined when you see inside Trixie’s head and she’s just like “WHY IT TOUCH ME”. Just slow zoom in on her terrified face mid-hug and the meme calculations fly across the screen..

* Eventually the conclusion she comes to is “It can’t be a food, it has to be another zombie.”When she first started trusting her mother again, it was from the perspective of a fellow predator, essentially. I mean, we have this nest here and we go hunting and scavenging together, right? We have those great bonding experiences like when we fought all those “bandit”! But this thing never seems to eat anything, and its weirdly obsessed with stuff that doesn’t matter, like these “money” that hurt my teeth.Conclusion: This is just a stupid zombie that needs my help to learn how to zombie.So she’s like a patronizing but affectionate tough love mentor to the Stupid Tall One, and sometimes she humours her and does the weird thing where you grab but do not eat each other. And I mean.. its a pretty sweet deal! It may be stupid but it’s tall! And it has a stick that goes boom! All i have to do in return is wear these weird itchy wool skins on top of my skin and not eat the other tall stupid things. It must be saving those for later.

* Aaaa I kinda have stopped doing Facts and its more like I’m just explaining the character’s story

* What number even is this

* OKAY ACTUALLY A TRIVIA FACT:Trixie has a weird fascination with those shampoo bottles shaped like fishes.Or I might make up a new original equivelant to avoid copyright issues, lol. Some sort of animal-shaped packaging with a collectable aspect! I thought it would be a fun thing you could find in the game. This ruined post-apocolyptic world and you’re trying to assemble the full set just to see your kid smile again, even if only for a moment. Surprisingly sad moments from shampoo fish!Tho cos Trixie is so grumpy and cynical she’s a bit embarassed about this silly hobby and tries to deny it at every turn. Just like *ASBSOLUTE BEAMING KAWAII EYES* “I hate it. I hate it so much it must sit on this shelf so I can hate it forever.”I was thinking maybe even they could kinda fullfill a small purpose as a mini portable garden? You’d modify them into small plantpots and could grow some minor herbs and flowers that you can carry around in your backpack. Just a nice way to make things feel a bit more normal, which is kinda necessary to our protagonist mom’s mental health. optimism meter or somethin?

* She likes her hat a lot. I probably need to figure out how to draw it looking more beaten up and less matching with the rest of her outfit, its meant to be one of the few things she kept when she was just a regular roaming zombie. It was like the first sign her mum had that she did at least remember something of her old life.Oh, and her mum likes collecting different badges to put on it. It started off as kinda similar to putting a bell on a cat so you know when its trying to escape, but now Trixie’s grown to like this strange human invention of the jangly forehead noise. She’s learned to take it off when the two of them are doing stealth operations, and even use it as a distraction to misdirect the enemy. Or to get away from the Tall Stupid One for a moment. Seriously what a dope, this ‘mum’ actually thinks its got me trapped! (Though the mittens are far harder to outsmart, who invented this evil hand covering?)

* Gameplay-wise, i think Trixie would be like a powerful speedster compared to other zombies. Kids surviving the infection isnt very common, and they usually die off quickly. They’re obviously not as strong as normal ones and theyre not exactly gonna get any stronger. But her advantage is that she’s more mobile because there’s kinda less complex machinery to animate, yknow? She’s got more speed and she’s smaller than pretty much every other enemy on both sides of this conflict, she can rush in with a kind of stealth and dexterity nobody expected zombies to possess.And the condition progresses faster in younger hosts, so the more supernatural side of her abilities is already manifesting early on. Her conciousness isnt really coherant enough to learn how to use it though, at the start its just like randomized limit break type bursts of shadow energy.Though, I mean, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t a physical attacker. She’s just more like long strings of multiple-hit combos, getting the same result even with her much lower attack stats. And still, even a weak zombie is stronger than the strongest human, aka the mum. mum is like a super survival hulk who can lift a damn sofa over her head, but that doesnt really help when fighting zombs so she’s usually a ranged gunner instead. I feel like its gonna work in a kind of elemental triangle with like.. human ranged/’tech attacks’ are effective against zombies, and melee isnt, but then zombie melee is super powerful and they arent able to compete with humans when it comes to ranged strategy. And then when the enemy is human vs human, you have a lot more trouble doing complex gunfighting, and your melee can actually compete against each other. or something. i’ll figure out whatever works best!

* Oh, but I think trixie also has more tech attacks than other zombies, because her personality as a human was very cynical and always prepared for anything. But she’d start off with no techs and only develop them as she regains her memories.One cute idea I had was her being able to turn soda cans and mentos into distraction grenades, and then like one out of ten attacks actually deals damage instead. Cos when you’ve got everyone frustrated dodging your exploding cans, they dont expect just a full can of tuna to bean them in the forehead XD

* I haven’t fully developed the circumstances of how she got infected, but I think it’s something where both her and her mom blame themselves for it. Like, maybe it was a confrontation with bandits or something, and Trixie did something reckless that led to them getting caught? But then Mum is like ‘oh god I failed to proect you’ and blames herself for her naive shonen protagonist optimism causing her to fall for some sort of trick, and then Trixie got bitten while saving her from it. So really they both messed up, its just tragic that only one of them lived to learn from it...

* Oh and for Maximum Tragedy, I don’t think it was even a fatal wound. It was probably like just a really small scratch and Mum kept trying to reassure Trixie that it would be fine, sinking into delusion while her poor 11 year old kid is the one who realized she was gonna die and was the only one willing to do something about it. So she had to suffer slowly fading away from illness over the next week, being TERRIFIED that her mum was refusing to let her go, and any second now she could become a zombie and kill her while she wouldnt even try to defend herself. So in the end, while Mum was all sitting in the corner all “ha.. ha... its just an ordinary cold... gotta stay positive”, Trixie packed a small bag of personal effects and ran away into the night, to find a place to die alone.in the end though, she left it too late and couldnt make it very far. Her last memory as she lay there dying was seeing the silhouette of her mother appearing on the horizon and knowing she’d failed to protect her :(

* Fun fact: no failure of protection actually happened, the two of them are both still around one year later, and if this writer has any say in it then I’m gonna find some damn way to write a happy ending.>:(

[unproduciblesmackdown]

s2g that moss has even been foreshadowing that lars was gonna get briefly killed like…not that specific but since we’re shown that the moss is lars and the flowers have a bit of gem in them…………

ppl are always weird about stuff everywhere smh but like…theres been obviously weird things like being way more ok with ancient beings ready to destroy all life on the planet than lars being too ill-tempered or doing something selfish like…i see that…. like lars doesnt need to be redeemed for anything jeez. every episode where he does something crap its on a minor scale vs like endangering lives or something and he gets k.o’d for it and then makes some sincere form of apology like? theres your redemption…i guess maybe people expect him to become acceptable overnight maybe but thats how people work and then every episode is like The Lesson of the Week instead of a closer look at a character and another step in their development as people figuring themselves out

like literally every character has issues smh! in like this and everything also but like….honestly lars has been a super self conscious and anxious teen from the start and really unhappy and like sometimes he does dumbass shit but who hasnt. if you think youve never hurt people you havent been paying close enough attention

anyways one of the things i really dont like? despite general overall stuff like teenaged lars momentarily losing his patience and realizing he’s in the wrong and immediately trying to make amends = him being judged more harshly than like….every millenia-old actually murderous actual antagonist introduced…. is that overall? its like really really clear really early on that he’s always struggling with a lot of mental health issues, and a common theme is irl people who really do have disorders pointing this out. like, that point can be made for every character in su and lars isnt The Mentally Ill One who alone represents the whole of the universal mental illness experience because obviously that doesnt exist and its a very unique and personal experience, and people dont have to directly relate to lars or any other character with such problems to verify their own. but lars and the cool kids is like super upfront about anxiety and he obv has really low confidence and low self worth and i’ll fight anytime about island adventure hinting strongly at depression—in addition to having him state outright that he feels lonely and isolated all the time. and like, he hates the job he works all the time, he’s not good in school, he and sadie feel an early connection but they obviously had to do a lot of work on that and step on each other’s emotional fingers along the way to finally get to where they are now—which i’m guessing is dating but without acknowledging so or at least not to others, he isn’t very close to his parents currently, he starts the series with 1.5 friends maximum and cant even approach the cool kids besides being desperate to be friends with them

like clearly he’s unhappy and for a while sadie and steven are probably the people closest to him even tho he is a lot more annoyed by steven at the start of things when steven is more little-kiddish than he is now…..but lars still acts mostly like himself around them But at the start him and sadie have too many complications and uncertainties to be really comfortable and again steven doesnt really come across as very mature, with lars pointing it out just now how stevens changed in that way, and it being difficult anyways for lars to confide in anybody

so like lars is and has always been super super defined and restricted by his fear of everybody he encounters, specifically being afraid of being hurt by them / fear of being disliked. i like to say that i think the way he prevents himself / his image is meant to be a way of controlling the reactions he expects people to have: i.e. making people dislike him is less scary/painful than being judged badly while hoping for the opposite. but i also never like saying that anyone who consciously cultivates their Look is faker than someone who doesnt put any thought into it, or is lying to themselves or others or whatever, i just would bet thats a part of it. but moreso than that, the fact that he’s irritable and ill-tempered all the time fits really well as a result of being so unhappy and afraid and trying to deal with it solo. it’s not about him not caring about people, when on an unrelated note but related-to-the-universal-human-experience he does something thoughtless or mean or just generally crosses a line, he notices immediately when someone feels hurt, and he’s shown to immediately feel bad, arguably to a fault and going too far with how guilty he feels. but anyways clearly even though he has the capacity to hurt people’s feelings, he’s very sensitive to that, he cares deeply when it happens, and he doesn’t want to hurt people. like apologizing with any genuine depth to it right off is an incredibly difficult task even for grownass adults, and lars is already really good at it. its wild that people think of him as super cruel and selfish when it’s clear that he’s very emotionally vulnerable and doesn’t have the capacity to callously disregard other people’s hurt feelings

anyways a point i’m taking a really long time to come around to is that lars is a really good example of someone who’s young and unhappy and isolated and really struggling with a lot of things and afraid of everything and the fact is that usually when youre looking for characters who are struggling with this kind of shit you get one-dimensional, maybe even one-episode characters like the person who shows up for the very special episode where everyone has a serious talk and learns a serious lesson and the Depression Character never shows up again, having gone off to be depressed somewhere else since we already know about depressed people. or depression and anxiety is something that can be solved literally overnight if you just confront the root cause, like eliminating the life problem that made x depressed or giving y a makeover or throwing them a surprise party to show them they have friends or something. or you learn that joe the bully is actually just physically violent because he is insecure, whoa man. or the Sad Kid is a running joke and a periphery character and their parents are getting divorced etc etc etc etc

the point is that lars is a main character and even when he learns things about himself that put him in a better place than when the episode began, his issues still don’t vanish (and i wouldnt be surprised if people use that as evidence that his character doesnt “grow”). and dealing with / revealing some of his issues arent a special episode, its just an episode, and its about him. he’s developed over and over and he’s shown to be a complicated person. he’s shown to enjoy things and have interests and a life. he’s a regular character as much as anyone else is, he isnt set aside in a special category

but the thing is that maybe people expect Mentally Ill™ characters to be more of the hamfisted media clichés with zero nuance and about as much accuracy to them? because there’s always the sweet-and-soft kind of person who’s surely dealing with mental illness acceptably because they make up for it by being pure and noble and something approximately like a newborn lamb. like depression is being maybe a bit cagey and avoidant and crying a lot and writing poetry (which will later be revealed as their secret talent!!) and sighing and generally just waiting for someone to approach them, very gently because they are shy and nervous like a fawn, and that savior will cure them with love and also with showing them how beautiful life is!!! and then they will start wearing more colorful clothes and they will be happy and the depression is over now, because someone just had to show their delicate, beautifully wounded soul the light

trauma? you can tell someone has Trauma because they act very stoic and strong 1000% of the time no exceptions but it is just a façade. they will never talk about The Thing. they will finally talk about the thing because someone pries about it with pure intentions and it is a big dramafest and theyve never talked about this before and everyone cries and its super serious and heavy and the person is a bit softer after that because they could finally let it out that one time. thanks, another savior. having disorders is just having turned away from the light

the point is that irl obviously things are very different and its rare to see people with such issues being treated the same as any other character and being able to grow in a realistic way and being able to have flaws the way that everyone else does, not having to be a pure defenseless dewy-eyed baby kitten who someone strong and Normal needs to rescue and put on the right path away from these problems forever. being pissed off and frustrated and confused but trying a lot of different ways to figure things out anyways is a lot more common, the way lars reacts to and deals with his vulnerability is a lot more realistic than just being a fairy-tale in-distress type figure. his character feels a million times more like he was developed by people who understand what its like to be experiencing what he does and developed for people who can relate to him, rather than being made by and for people who cant directly relate and who tend to make content thats wholly inaccurate and treats that kind of thing like an Other issue for Others that you only need to learn bullet points about because if its going to be a part of your life it’ll be a fleeting, one-time thing, not your everyday reality

i mean, its unsurprising that lars is actually pretty comfortable with steven now, given how long theyve known each other, but also how relentless steven is in being supportive of lars and treating him like a friend. its not surprising that it took lars this long to accept that, or that it was in part forced along by being stuck in a “we might die” scenario with steven. and its important to point out that this wasn’t just lars changing that made their relationship better, but steven growing as a person as well. if you put both if them in that situation during the start of the series, they could probably get along better than usual still, but you cant say that this is the first sign of lars developing any more than you can say this is stevens first development. lars has been struggling with himself just as steven has, although not in a fate-of-the-world way till now. lars couldnt be so conscious of his own fear and frustrated with it, and steven wouldnt have the maturity to do stuff like freakin sacrifice himself for earth by separating himself from the other crystal gems, much less lend lars the emotional support needed to give lars enough confidence to protect the off-colors

lars has been developing the whole time and even if people look at individual episodes and think lars learns nothing during them, i cant see how anyone could deny that this isn’t a turning point for lars as much as its the culmination of a gradual path he’s already been on. not to mention that “turning point” has implications like “redemption arc,” as if lars was inherently bad or worthless at the start of the series. he wasn’t; none of the characters were, but each character and all of their relationships were least developed of course. we see details and different sides of the donuts right away, and they both care enough about steven to treat him more as a little brother than a customer and to humor him sometimes. theyve always been important, and the fact that lars has always been a main character in the set of protagonists and that steven has always been a friend means that he cannot be converted by a “redemption” arc. he’s already there smh he’s always been there. seriously name one episode where he’s done something shitty and didnt do anything to make up for it. the only thing unresolved rn is he couldnt fight topaz for sadie, and he said himself he felt guilty over it, and it was already at that point the boldest thing he’d done and like, its not that unreasonable for a wisp of a teen to be terrified by a giant gem warrior that he had zero chance of doing anything to anyways. it wasnt glistening heroics but if thats gonna condemn lars like throw me in the pit too i guess. then he went and died for twelve individuals and left himself defenseless in hostile unfamiliar territory so that steven can go back to earth so thats something. but before all this alien drama like, again…..he’s always directly apologizing for shit and he’s just making everyday kinds of fuckups. he beats himself up about stuff. and gets beat up. and really like doesnt ever require an apology when he’s the one to get hurt, which isnt a requirement by any means and which is probably part of him thinking too badly of himself

the point? that maybe i still havent made besides saying i was gonna make it like half a dozen times?? is that lars is a really real portrayal of a person dealing with things in a real way. and its not the “pain is transcendent” thing where if someone is Suffering from mental illness it makes them wiser and kinder and holier than us regular people. its not where all you need to help someone with mental illness is one incidence of reaching out and telling them you love them and look at the stars and isnt it lovely. its not where disorders themselves are an arc and at the end, people’s personalities will be indistinguishable from that of those who never experienced what they did. its where dealing with this shit is normal and human and everyday and its not beautiful and its not gonna make other people “inspired” or get to feel good about themselves as your savior. its about pushing people away or having them avoid you anyways because they can hurt you in ways they can’t understand as being hurtful and shits confusing and sometimes kids will lash out and i bet lars was a lot more Difficult closer to stevens age than he is now. its about characteristics that seem ugly or repulsive or otherwise don’t directly cry out for help. its about shit staying with you even while you’re trying to figure out how to work through it. its about the unpleasantness of it all but also the real humanity behind it, not just using it as some device. lars’s problems are about lars and belong to him

and yeah of course he hurts people, but literally all the characters do; it has nothing to do with having disorders or not. everyone hurts each other even though they love each other, sometimes with the best intentions or 0% knowingly because they just have to figure out more things about themselves and each other. everything is about people making mistakes. lars is no worse in that matter than any of the other characters, he just happens to have a less appealing/inviting personality, god forbid less relatable. in the recent episodes he didnt have his usual defensive abrasiveness, even his frustration with steven in “stuck together” wasn’t that significant, and wasnt even much directed at steven. after that he was just scared, without it being masked by anger. he could be brave for the other gems because he knew he wanted to be brave and he knew how it felt for them to be so afraid and he was finally told that it was an okay thing that he still felt terrified. he could be completely himself with steven because of all the ways steven has gotten to know lars and refused to stop valuing him and how steven has grown to be someone who could protect others on his own in serious situations—which in this case included supporting lars emotionally as well as protecting him physically. if lars was dropped in that situation with the kid who just learned to summon his shield and was having an ice cream crisis five minutes ago, he couldnt trust or rely on him or count on him for encouraging advice. the way lars is in the wanted arc being so different from earlier episodes is as much about stevens development as lars’s really

like the real lars is and always has been deeply sensitive to peoples feelings (to the point he feels extremely vulnerable to them e.g. afraid of being hurt by being regarded negatively) and he’s always cared about the people he feels close to and he’s always been capable of moments of bravery for the sake of others and he likes wrestling and he’s good at cooking and he’s a dumbass sometimes and he watches scary movies and plays video games and sucks at school and is grumpy and is passionate and is scared and is a huge nerd with nerd parents and he never got over feeling hurt by the explorer club incident and he doesnt like fries and he and his coworker like each other and relate to each other and he sees steven as his annoying little brother and he doesnt know what he wants and also he’s a bi icon, it must be exhausting

lars has always been good and complex and i might be willing to forgive my slight disappointment in people realizing he’s good only now if and only if they go back and acknowledge that he’s been good this whole time. like obviously he doesn’t have to be your Fave or even “liked” to just be not hated or to be recognized as a complex, solid character. lars is so, so developed, probably more than any other human. he’s always been important, even before his importance had direct cosmic significance. he’s always shown signs of being thoughtful and caring and soft, and the fact that he’s hurt people he cares about and who care about him isnt evidence that he’s bad, not only because of the fact that literally all the Good characters hurt each other, but because irl hurting people you love isnt even necessarily evidence of a failure, its just an inevitability, and what happens following the event is whats a lot more telling than the fact any negative emotions were ever a part of a good relationship

anyways what’s definitely true is that lars didnt need to die. it wasnt a necessary atonement for anything lars has ever done. he didnt and doesnt need to be redeemed. he just was willing to risk his life for gems in a situation he could immediately relate to, and that risk happened to win out momentarily. besides, what lars was overcoming in that situation was his own fear, it wasnt anything that caused the stuff in the past that people seem to think so badly of him for. he was also protecting steven, sure, but steven was pretty much fine by the end of it coz of his shield. but he also hadnt ever really Not protected steven or anything so he didnt really need to make up for that or whatever

also one more thing ive always meant to bring up is that lars doesnt think much of himself and is prone to being too hard on himself but i know there are probably plenty of people who believe him when he says he needs to “deserve” being alive again. nah!!!! lars always deserved it

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“Help! My client is in love with me!” How to establish boundaries in your coaching practice—and avoid all kinds of nasty situations. https://ift.tt/2ImLxO9

What do you do when your fitness client asks you out for a drink? Or texts you at 2am? Or slightly recoils from your touch during an assessment? When you’re a health professional working closely with people who need your help, things can occasionally get awkward. Use this guide to set professional boundaries, while still creating a trusting coach-client relationship.

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The details: A Precision Nutrition Certified coach—we’ll call her Sue—reached out to our private Facebook group for advice on a serious problem. Her client, also a coworker, had developed feelings for her.

Sue didn’t feel the same way.

She cared about this client and his goals. He’d already lost 50 pounds with her help.

But she didn’t want to be a caregiver or caretaker. His behavior had become an emotional drain.

When Sue tried to distance herself from the client, he lashed out and became self-destructive. His health habits regressed, and he went back to emotional eating.

As a coaching professional, Sue understood the dynamics. She knew the client’s reliance on her had become unhealthy. And she recognized that she herself was becoming more and more distressed.

Understandably, she felt stuck.

She’d have to confront difficult feelings: The client would be upset.

He’d regress: Asking him to change his behavior would cause a health-damaging backslide.

She was also caught in conflicting close relationships: They work together every day.

Tricky situations like Sue’s are very common in health and fitness coaching.

Yet while therapists, psychologists, and doctors are formally trained to navigate the boundary issues that arise in client-practitioner relationships, fitness professionals often aren’t.

So consider this your crash course for conduct, complete with practical tools you can use now, no matter how where you are in your career.

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The relationship between a client and a health practitioner is inherently intimate.

This is true whether you’re a strength coach, a group fitness trainer, a psychologist, a massage therapist, or a yoga instructor.

Deep feelings are discussed. Bodies are touched.

It’s “closeness,” even if it’s not romantic closeness.

As a result of this intimacy, it’s quite common (and natural) for coaches or clients to develop feelings (negative or positive) for each other. Feelings of friendship, tenderness, protectiveness, jealousy, anger, and/or frustration spill into the professional arrangement.

Without honesty, clear expectations, and mature, open communication, stuff gets messy.

Defining and upholding proper boundaries ensures that feelings don’t confuse the ultimate goal: to help the client achieve his or her health goals through self-empowered action.

When we don’t have well-defined and well-communicated roles, everyone is kinda standing around wondering, “What am I allowed to do here? And how are we supposed to interact?”

Anxieties, frustrations, and old hurts emerge, often vaguely and vexingly, and we feel pushed and pulled in many directions.

That’s why we need boundaries.

Boundaries are the invisible lines of division between the service provider and the client or patient, the social (and sometimes physical) norms and practices that define:

who is playing what role (e.g. who is coach and who is client);

what those roles involve (e.g. who provides direction and how); and

what the limits of that professional relationship are (e.g. how available the coach is for the client, or what’s discussed in sessions).

Good boundaries mean that clients:

feel safe and secure with their coaches, trusting they’ll act in their best interests.

understand the care a coach shows is the universal care of an invested, compassionate professional, and not a sign of romantic interest (or some other attachment).

are obligated to show up maturely and responsibly; to regulate their emotions, own their behaviors, and be consistent.

Good boundaries mean that coaches:

avoid ethical breaches or working outside of our scope of practice.

don’t take on more than our share of responsibility for client progress and change.

show our clients clearly who is doing what, when, and how.

recognize the potential power imbalance that is part of coaching, and respect our clients as autonomous individuals.

With clear boundaries, we have fewer misunderstandings and awkward situations.

Which is always good.

With well-defined, strong, healthy boundaries, our “emotional bank account” is freed up to invest in a robust coaching relationship that keeps us as coaches safe and sane, while helping clients reach their goals.

Appropriate behavior is context-dependent.

There’s a green zone: Totally cool almost all of the time. Like smiling and making eye contact as you greet a client.

There are “gray zones”: A little more blurry, and depends on the context and nature of the relationship. Like hugging a client after they just did their first pullup.

And there’s a red zone: Definitely—and always—a hard “no.” Like, “Don’t steal from clients” seems pretty intuitive.

But in real life, boundaries aren’t one-size-fits-all.

Therefore (and to make things more complex), the same action can be “green” with one client and “red” with another.

With a client you have a secure, trusting relationship with, it might be totally cool to exchange the odd gift.

But that newer client you suspect might be crushing on you? Exchanging gifts may send the wrong message and confuse the purpose of the relationship.

Context is everything.

With more experience, trust, and maturity you have more freedom—to get close, to joke, potentially to do or say “inappropriate” things.

With relationships that are newer, more fraught or confused, play by stricter rules.

In terms of ethical codes, health and fitness coaching is a little late to the party.

Other fields of service provision, such as psychology or social work, have clear codes of ethics they abide by.

Many mental and physical health care service providers receive ethics training as part of their certification, but coaches often don’t.

Yet part of your job as a coach is to behave ethically, which includes defining and maintaining clear boundaries.

So Precision Nutrition wrote its own Code of Ethics for the coaches we certify.

You can start with our Code of Ethics as a template, and add to it as you wish, according to your own value system, and the nuances of your practice.

PN Coaching Certification Code of Ethics

In your professional role as a coach:

Act in the client’s best interest. Prioritize their wellbeing, safety, values, goals, and comfort where possible.

Respect the worth and dignity of the clients you serve. Treat all clients with professional courtesy, compassion, and care.

Protect your clients’ privacy and confidentiality. This includes that you:

Follow standard data security protocols, such as protecting your personal logins and storing client data securely.

Be careful what you discuss about clients, and with whom.

Do not disclose personal or identifying details of clients.

Ask permission before sharing anything on social media.

Act with integrity. Make yourself worthy of your clients’ respect and trust. Don’t exploit your clients, financially or otherwise. Don’t seek personal gain from your client relationship (beyond your coaching fees, obviously).

Act with objectivity. Know the rules, regulations, and procedures expected of you, and follow them equitably and appropriately for each client.

Set clear, accurate, and reasonable expectations. Define the terms of the coaching arrangement (e.g. payment, frequency of meeting, how coaching works, etc.) immediately and reinforce them often. Be upfront about what results the client can realistically expect to see.

Have clear professional boundaries. Avoid multiple relationships (e.g. coaching friends or family members; becoming friends with clients) where possible. If you must have multiple relationships, recognize the inherent power imbalance in coaching, and be very clear what hat you’re wearing in a given situation.

Know the limits of your skills and scope of practice. If you can’t serve a client for reasons of ethics or expertise, refer them to another coach and/or care provider if possible.

Keep your skills current. Pursue professional competence, excellence, and mastery. Seek to be a credit to your profession.

8 tools to define boundaries in your coaching practice.

For coaches, there are lots of ways identify, establish, and maintain boundaries in your professional practice. We’ve got 8 to get you started.

The more tools you use, the more clear, comfortable, and secure your relationships will be.

Plus, less awkward situations.

1. Pay attention to your “emotional radar.”

Often, when boundaries get pushed (or trampled on), your body will tell you.

For example, you might notice that around a certain client, you feel tense, “icky,” or even repelled.

If you observe those sensations, check in with yourself.

Are roles defined and contracts clear?

Are you being asked to do things (either implicitly or explicitly) that make you feel uncomfortable?

Are you being exposed to some “TMI” material, either through the content of your client’s words, or images they sent to you?

If you can identify what’s bothering you, work to fix the situation:

Model appropriate behavior.

Communicate clearly, assertively, and maturely. (Keep reading for ideas on how to do this.)

Inform others about your boundaries and expectations for the working relationship. Don’t assume people “should just know” what appropriate behavior is. They might not.

2. Use body language to manage the space between you and your clients.

We “say” a lot without actually saying it.

Humans have a sort of sixth sense when it comes to expressing and reading body language. What we do with our bodies, and what others do, is worth a thousand words.

That means you can actually use your body as a tool to shape the coach-client relationship.

You can use your nonverbal cues to steer or “lead” clients.

For example, if a client is getting a little too close, you can lean or step back a little to increase the distance between you, or put an object between you (such as a desk or bench).

Without using words, this suggests, “This is a better amount of space between us.”

Other times, you may want to encourage closeness.

One simple way to do this is by “mirroring” your clients’ movements (subtly), and making eye contact. This demonstrates your attention and presence, and can foster a feeling of connection.

To convey confidence and authority, stand or sit tall, with good, but relatively relaxed posture. You’ll look like someone worth respecting and listening to.

3. Use your voice to show the right balance of care and authority.

Voices are powerful.

Your voice can command, cajole, calm, or control—and it can help you set and maintain boundaries too.

Generally, a warm, yet professional tone will signify interest and authority.

Speak clearly at a moderate pace, and unless you’re actually asking a question, be careful of a tendency to use a rising tone at the end of a sentence. (Which will make everything sound like a question? And it’ll imply that you don’t need to be taken seriously?)

Match your voice volume and cadence to your client’s to show attunement.

You can also use your voice to steer someone gently if you feel things should be going in a different direction: talking slower and lower to a client who’s gotten worked up and is talking fast and loud; speaking gently to a client who’s intimidated, scared, or defensive; or speaking firmly and clearly to a client who’s gotten a little too… friendly.

4. Write like a pro.

Even if your main jam is one-on-one sessions with clients, talking in an office or on a gym floor, you’ll probably do a fair bit of writing too: in emails or texts, handouts, contracts, and signs on the wall.

Your professional image is reflected in your writing, so cover the basics: Use proper punctuation, check your spelling, and get your message across clearly and concisely.

Make sure signs are clearly displayed and contracts are reviewed and understood, ideally before you begin your coaching relationship.

Signs and contracts tell clients what to expect, what their responsibilities are, and what you’re here for (and not here for). Articulate this up front, and you’ll have fewer problems later.

5. Make informed consent an ongoing conversation.

If you’ve ever joined a gym, had a massage, received psychotherapy, or joined a sports team, you might have had to go through some kind of informed consent and waiver-signing process.

An informed consent form usually covers things like scope of services and liability, and the potential risks to clients. It’s a good idea for every coaching practice to have one.

But it doesn’t have to stop there.

If made an ongoing conversation, the informed consent process can be an awesome, useful tool that helps define boundaries and helps clients feel heard, respected, and comforted.

Check in with your client on consent topics every few weeks. You can organize the conversation around themes like:

What’s happening for you as a client right now? Can you give me a “status update” about how you feel / think about our process, or your current situation?

Are you OK with what’s happening now? Does this match what you expected or wanted? Would you feel more comfortable doing something differently?

Do you understand what’s happening now? Do you as a client, comprehend why we’re doing something, and/or what the risks and benefits are? Do you understand how this activity connects to your goals?

Do you want to continue in this direction? Or do you need a break? Informed consent includes the client knowing that they have the right to say no to anything the coach proposes.

6. Protect your time.

Pop quiz: If a client texts you at 2am, do you respond?

Clients may email, text, or even call at all hours of the day or night. While you can have your business hours clearly displayed on your website, contracts, or signs around your office, clients may still pop in when it’s convenient for them.

That’s OK. (So long as they’re not banging on the door of your personal home at midnight. That’s “red zone” material.)

When and how quickly you respond to clients signals to them what you will accept, and what they should expect.

For example, if you start answering emails at 10:30 at night, a client may expect you to be available during those hours. If you always respond to texts within three minutes, a client may expect nearly immediate answers from you.

You get to decide what your boundaries are here, and what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want your evenings to be crowded out by client emails, then turn the computer off before dinner, and respond to them in the morning.

Similarly, you get to set the tone for how time is spent during your in-person time with clients.

If a client is consistently late or missing appointments, or if they keep directing the conversation to who they went out with on the weekend instead of how their food journaling went, then it’s your job to gently but firmly call them out.

Sometimes an adult conversation needs to happen.

Like:

“Hey, I’ve noticed that you’ve been 20 minutes late for the last three appointments. Is this still a good time for you? If it is, let’s agree to start our session on time so we don’t have to cut into your appointment time.”

Or:

“It sounds like you had a fun weekend! But hey, I’d love to talk about your nutrition. I know one of your goals is to eat better, and I’m curious to know about how you’ve been doing. The more we focus our conversation, the better we can get both of our needs met.”

Approach these conversations as if you and your client are on the same team, rather than adversaries. Be friendly, and focus on the win you both want!

7. Dress sharp.

One perk of being a coach: You get to dress comfy!

One downside of being a coach: You get to dress comfy! Which means that sometimes, it’s hard to know what looks appropriate and also helps you demonstrate a squat or run a few agility ladders.

However, if you choose carefully, you can convey professionalism in athletic gear.

If you look professional, your clients will be less likely to treat you as a buddy or a potential hookup, and more likely to treat you as, well, a professional.

Make sure your clothes are clean and well-maintained, and that all your, um, parts are contained.

Your dress should also be appropriate to your environment. If you work at a gym, gym clothes are good. If you work in an office, “business casual” is likely the better dress code.

8. If physical contact is necessary, check in with your client’s experience of it often.

If you’re a personal trainer, massage therapist, yoga teacher, chiropractor, etc., body work is part of your job.

Make sure to have clients sign a form that provides consent to touch.

Even with contracts signed and squared off, always ask your clients for permission before you touch them, especially in potentially awkward or vulnerable areas. (This is especially important in situations where touch could be misinterpreted—for instance, a male personal trainer touching a female client’s glutes.)

If you’re a coach, here’s a handy checklist for considering boundaries when touching your client.

Does touching my client make sense in the context of our professional relationship? Am I, for example, a massage therapist or personal trainer legitimately touching my client in particular ways?

Does touching my client raise any issues given our social identities? That’s a fancy way of saying who are you, and who are they? Are you male, female, older, younger, the coach, the client (and so on)?

Does touching my client make sense in a cultural or social context? Different cultures have different norms on touch. And “culture” can be anything. For instance, your local MMA gym may consider it perfectly normal to choke someone with your thighs… but that’s not a good look at your average gym.

What are the benefits to touching my client? Am I helping teach them an exercise, giving them useful feedback, creating a genuine personal connection, and/or calming them?

What are the potential risks to touching my client? Might I be invading their boundaries, making them feel less comfortable, or sending signals that could be misinterpreted?

What are my motivations for touching my client? Is this to benefit them, or me?

Do I know my client’s personal history or level of comfort with touch? Some people have a history of physical or sexual abuse, or simply aren’t that comfortable being touched. Since you likely don’t know all clients’ personal details, start by assuming your client may have some kind of discomfort with touching. Proceed slowly with caution and assess their comfort as you go.

How am I letting my client know what to expect? A simple way to judge comfort is just to announce, then ask. For example, “I’m going to put my hand just underneath your left armpit to feel if your lat muscles are engaged. Is that OK?”

What feedback am I getting? Read body language, and ask. If your client gives you a hearty handshake with a bro-back-slap while making eye contact and smiling, you’re probably good to do the same. If you hug them and they shrink back or go rigid, quit hugging them.

Have alternatives handy. If you’re trying to give a client proprioceptive feedback, you can often use some neutral object (like having their butt hit a wall when you’re teaching a hip hinge). If hugging is a no, you may be able to do a less-threatening touch of the upper arm, or just work your smile and wave game.

And this should go without saying, but we’re gonna say it anyway:

For heaven’s sake, don’t touch your clients inappropriately. If you don’t know what constitutes consent or assault, educate yourself.

What to do next

When your “boundary radar” goes off, pay attention.

Don’t wait or avoid a situation that’s bothering you.

If you do, it’ll often get worse.

Prevention is the best option here, but if that hasn’t worked, then sometimes you’ll need to deal directly with an uncomfortable situation.

If possible, prepare documentation—such as emails, text messages, or a written summary of what happened from your perspective—or discussion topics in advance, and consider your overall strategy before having a difficult conversation.

Remember: You never have to work with someone who’s abusive, aggressive, or otherwise violates your boundaries.

Whether it’s a persistent series of misunderstandings and misalignments; someone who constantly gives you the “ugh” or “uh-oh” feeling; or outright harassment, you never have to tolerate a physically or psychologically harmful situation.

Get out or refer out.

Want strategies to level up your coaching?

It’s no secret that master coaches develop over time, through education and consistent practice, usually under the guidance of a mentor or coach.

Precision Nutrition is the only company in the world that both works with thousands of our own nutrition coaching clients and teaches health, fitness, and wellness professionals our real-world methods for getting results.

And here’s some great news: Our next Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification Master Class kicks off on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2019.

Want to achieve total confidence in your coaching skills? Get (and keep) more clients? Grow and strengthen your practice? If so, the Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification is definitely for you.

It’s designed specifically for Level 1 students and grads who realize that knowing about the science of nutrition isn’t enough.

Part master class, part grad program, part mentorship, it’s the only course in the world designed to help you master the art of coaching, meaning better results for your clients and a better practice for you.

Since we only take a limited number of professionals, and since the program sells out every time, I strongly recommend you add your name to our VIP List below. When you do, you get the chance to sign up 24 hours before everyone else. Even better, you get a huge discount off the general price of the program.

[Note: The Level 2 Master Class is only for students and grads of our Level 1 Certification. So if you haven’t yet enrolled in that program, please begin there.]

Interested? Add your name to the VIP list. You’ll save up to 37% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification Master Class on Wednesday, April 3rd.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following VIP list which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to get started and ready to gain mastery in their coaching practice. So we’re offering a discount of up to 37% off the general price when you sign up for the Master Class VIP list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the PN Master Class twice per year. Due to high demand and a very limited number of spots, we expect it to sell out fast. But when you sign up for the Master Class VIP list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready to take the next step in becoming a world-class coach, we’re ready to share our knowledge and help you master the art of coaching.

//

References

Click here to view the information sources referenced in this article.

Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. (2015). Standards of Practice (5th ed.) [PDF file]. Ottawa, ON. Retrieved from https://www.ccpa-accp.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/StandardsOfPractice_en_June2015.pdf

Canadian Association of Social Workers. (2005). Code of Ethics [PDF file]. Retrieved from https://www.casw-acts.ca/sites/default/files/documents/casw_code_of_ethics.pdf

Bryson, Sandy. Understanding Professional Boundaries [PDF file]. Retrieved from https://www.dsc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Understanding-Professional-Boundaries.pdf

The post “Help! My client is in love with me!” How to establish boundaries in your coaching practice—and avoid all kinds of nasty situations. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

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What’s the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

"What's the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

I just bought a new car--now comes full coverage & plates. It's a 2003 Mazda w/ 18,000 miles. Does the year or the mileage make insurance or plates higher? Do they request tickets for the last 3 or 5 years? You have to have full coverage when making payments right? I'm thinking Geico is the cheapest I've found so far?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Insurance question after engine blow up?

I was wondering, will insurance pay for damage to a car without being in accident? Let me give you example. What if I was driving on highway and my engine would blow up (not during racing, just cruising around), and I don't have manufacturers warranty anymore. Can I file claim, and will insurance pay for new engine?""

How much is it to get car insurance at 16?

How much is it to get car insurance at 16?

What ia a cheap first car to buy and insure?

I'm looking for a car for when I pass my test. What are the cheapest cars to buy ans insure which are reliable as well?

What is the cheapest liability insurance for teens? ?

Hi, im 17 years old and i am looking for liability insurance for my jeep cherokee. im a guy, not a girl... What would be the cheapest liability insurance for me?""

Does anyone know the average 1st car insurance payment & subsequent payments for teen girls in Florida?

On average, does anyone know how much the 1st payment is? My parents are thinking it'd be around $2,000. And does $600 sound about right for subsequent payments?""

Cost to insure?

04 - 06 sti used in illinois for a 16yr old male. Is it true that males pay more for insurance then females?

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

Young male looking for answers with car insurance?

I am just wondering if someone could help me out, because I hear other people my age talking about having ~$150 insurance rates, while mine are $350 a month. They say they are under their parents names, but when I tried to go under my moms they apparently told her it wasnt possible.. I am an 19 year old male, me and my mom are the only drivers in my house and we have 2 cars. We live in Ontario, I HAVE completed drivers ed and am currently a college student. Is there any reason why other people can put car insurance under their parents but i cant? Is there any way to fix this?""

What is the best lowest cost insurance for a first time driver?

ok. i just got my learners permit. i had wondered what would be the best car insurance company too look to for getting my actual license. and has the lowest monthly rate, with the best coverage. i will never get a dui since i will never drive drunk. i have never had a ticket, i have excellent credit, i do not own a home so i don't want a insurance bundle, i'm in north carolina, i drive a volvo, i have never had a wreck . so i'm looking to good driving discount minus the privacy invading snap shot from progressive. and no dui discount. and good credit discount. exc anyone know of the best insurance company to look to?""

""My brother wrecked my car and the Insurance wont cover it, what can I do?

While I was out of the country my brother wrecked my car and the insurance company wont cover it. I have full coverage and my brother had my permission to be driving my car so how can they refuse to pay?

Question about gap insurance?

I just wanted to know about how much the dealer charges for gap or at least an average. I refinanced my vehicle and am awarded a refund of my gap because the new financing is offered with it. So I don't know if anyone has gone through this, but if you have any answers please let me know. Thanks in advance.""

Do I have to pay more for my car insurance?

I purchased a car with a car loan and I had to get full coverage insurance. I pay monthly and I have to do this for 6 months. The sixth month will be on May. I just paid off my car loan so I no longer want to pay extra money for full coverage. I had to pay a down payment for my insurance so my monthly payments would be cheaper. My question is do I have to pay another down payment if I switch to the liability coverage? Do I have to pay those last two months in order to switch to a liability coverage? I live in California.

Why is it the law to have car insurance?

I mean if I get into a car wreck. Will the insurance company really cover the cost of me getting into an accident? It feels like I will just be dumping money down their throats for nothing in return.

Health Insurance Question?

I am 19, and I am Diabetic. I would like to move out of my parents house, and start living independently. Is there any Health Insurances out there that are government run that could help me get a cheap Insurance rate? Oh, and I live in Ohio if that makes any difference.""

2010 Ford Fusion vs 2011 Hyundai Sonata?

I recently went in resolved to buy a 2011 Sonata at $26, 000 but then I saw at a Ford dealer that the Fusion was $16, 500 on sale from $19,000. I'm conflicted because paying $10,000 more for a Hyundai means I get more features like leather, seat heating, sun roof, more sleek sporty style, etc. But then I can't completely negate the fact that the Ford is so cheap. Which would you pick and why?""

Where to get cheap insurance for at risk drivers?

Well I had an 08 chevy cobalt (dad was paying for it) & me & my friends were always stupid & I was always doing stupid things. Totaled it. & I got 5 points on my license. I got a Job & my mom agreed shed pay for half the payments on a car. I liked the 2013 dodge darts bc they were really good on gas, looked cool, & had a lot of room. Well the insurance for that was gonna be 900 a month through Allstate. Which is crazy. I can afford 1-150 a month for insurance. Anywhere I could go to get a cheap car insurance? Within my price range for an at risk driver? & I probably won't buy the dart, I was thinking like an 07 civic or eclipse or something on the lines of that""

How do i fight GAP insurance?

hello.... so i purchased a vehicle in 2006..... didn't like it too much so i took it back to dealership and traded it for a different vehicle and bought full warranty on it. dealership said the warranty was good for 50000 miles or 4 years. the vehicle was totaled just recently and i owed about 7500 dollars on it. my insurance paid 6100 dollars for it and i was thinking ok no problem the gap will cover the rest , but the gap insurance is only paying 212 dollars on it. they said there was some left over loan on my old car which they will not cover... i don't know much this insurance crap but its really breaking my balls that i will have to paying almost a 1000 dollars out of my own pocket. is there any i can fight gap insurance and have them pay the entire left over loan??""

19 year old needs cheap car insurance?

i need to get car insurance but i cant afford something too expensive, im 19 my car is a 1997 ford mustang coupe, someone help i have to find a place today! my parents arent helping i have to get it on my own.""

How do i get cheap car insurance?

im 19 and sont want 2 pay loads 4 car insurance

Car insurance needed to fix car?

I got a scratch on my car and I think I just need a paint job and for them to sand it. Do I need to inform my car insurance or anything to get it fixed and will they inform my car insurance if i went to get it fixed? The problem is my car is under my mom's name as well as the insurance if she found out i scratched the car she might flip.

How much will motorcycle insurance cost approximately?

Im 17 and I have had my Minnesota drivers license for about a year. Im looking to buy a 250cc Kawasaki ninja or something similar. I will take the MSF safety coarse. I have good grades and have never crashed my car. Give me a rough estimate. Thanks!!

Rent a car or insurance for behind the wheel test in California?

Hi, I got my instructional permit from the DVM of CA. However what is the best way to pass the behind-the-wheel test? Rent a car? And if so, where can I rent a car that allows me to pass the test? Use a friend's car? And if so, how to I get the insurance? Thanks for any help !""

Why are car insurance companies trying to make me go bankrupt?

Okay, this is extremely frustrating. I'm a 19 year old student, who works part time. I have all-state insurance full coverage, and I drive a 2001 toyota tacoma, which is paid off. And guess how much Allstate charges me every 6 months? $750!!!!!!!!!!!! That is absolutely ridiculous. These son of a bitches are totally ridiculous charging me that. I've never had a ticket, never been in an accident. And I don't care if i'm 19 that price is absolutely absurd for that car. I'm almost at the point where I just wanna go illegal and drive without insurance. I'm looking sleep every night over this I mean seriously do they think a 19 year old college student is made of money. And the funny thing is it's under my parents policy and its this much!!!""

""If my girlfriend crashes my car, does my insurance cover it?""

I am an insured driver and I believe my girlfriend is still insured on one of her parents cars, but we share my car currently and its not that I dont trust her, I don't trust other people. If an accident occurs while she is driving with my consent and she is a licensed driver (who is possibly insured on another vehicle) will my insurance cover? I have pretty good insurance as my car is finanaced and I was forced to get a few options I could have avoided if I bought an old junker. She has my car by herself for the day for the first time and I can't help but worry.""

""Insurance for 6 months, changes mid policy?""

I'm looking at buying insurance for a 6 month period, but 2 months into the period there will be a change that causes a significant price drop (3 points removed from my license and my birthday). Will they generally allow me to have my rate adjusted mid-policy? I'm talking of a price difference of about 100 a month, so I really want to see how I can make this work.""

What's the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

I just bought a new car--now comes full coverage & plates. It's a 2003 Mazda w/ 18,000 miles. Does the year or the mileage make insurance or plates higher? Do they request tickets for the last 3 or 5 years? You have to have full coverage when making payments right? I'm thinking Geico is the cheapest I've found so far?

Can your parents pay your car insurance?

Keep in mind, they don't have a car!! I know i sounds crazy""

I need help choosing a health insurance?

I live in Southern California (If that matters). I'm young and healthy but I have been without health insurance for the last year. I was wondering who is your health insurance provider and if you would recommend it. I don't have much money since I just graduated from SDSU and without a teaching job:( But I am willing to pay the little money I have for health insurance. Thanks! I will need one that will cover dental and vision the big ones for me since I need to take my wisdom teeth out (giving me big headaches) and I wear glasses which need to be replaced soon. Thanks in advance.

What would health care cost if NOBODY had insurance?

I was reading about how doctors are now rating insurance companies, and one figure that stuck in my head was $210 BILLION wasted anually on excessive administrative costs. Not administration, UNNECESSARY administration. They want to cut out red tape, well, why not cut out insurance altogether? What would health care cost if NOBODY had insurance, and had to pay for everything out of pocket? I suspect that patients would start paying a lot more attention to their bills, doctors would have to start competing, and costs would plummet. Shoot, there'd be at least $210 billion a year more available! There's mention of one doctor who accepts a flat yearly rate, and doesn't accept insurance. Would this really be such a terrible way to do things? Letting doctors and patients decide what's fair, instead of insurance companies and the government? We could let people buy catastrophic insurance, but not general health funds like we have now. Could it work?""

How much would I pay for car insurance on a classic/sport car?

So I've been working on cars for a very long time (5 years), but I've only had my license however for only a year. Lately I've been driving a silly honda accord that I don't quite enjoy. I plan on buying a 280zx datsun, an alfa romeo spider, a triumph, or an mg midget. The price for the car isn't a problem because I fix and restore cars for Shelby cobra and can handle a lot of the issues older cars can give. The problem is insurance. About how much will I be paying monthly for one of the cars listed? ( I am aware I work on cars but have never done insurance) Thanks :)""

Insurance & newborns?

So I went down and added my baby onto my caresource... BUT I don't have an insurance card for him. How will I be able to take him to the doctors if I don't have proof of insurance for him? I have proof of insurance for me is that enough? Also I haven't made any appointments for him to have a doctors visit yet, when should I make one?""

Im getting an abortion with my parents insurance will they find out?

Okay so I am a 20 year old college student and im pregnant and I am not in the positin to care for a child so I am getting an abortion. But I am doing so with my parents insurance I do not want them to know because after all im 20 I can make my own descions and do things on my own but with that being said I do not want it show up anywhere in the mail or online or anything that I had an abortion. I do not want them to know. So what should I do I talk to the ladies at the faility im using and they told me there not sure if it will show up as an abortion it might just show the facilities name whih im fine with because I can say I got birth control or something like that so what should I do? Any advice is welcome as long as its dont get an abortion because i am not in the position for a kid I will learn from my irresponsiblity.

Question About Car Insurance?

I have AAA. I have 3 vehicles, 2 in which my daughters are the drivers. One of my daughters has 2 points for prohibited turn, which raised my insurance rate. Is there anyway to get the points removed or remove her from the policy even though she would still drive?""

How do people in Florida cope with high car insurance rates?

Let's say for a young single person who has been driving for 5 years with a 2 year old car. How can someone afford insurance with a tight budget?

I have a B average(4.0/5.0). will it lower the cost of insurance for my dad?

So my friend told me that if i have a B average, it will lower the cost of insurance for my dad, but idk if its true. im 15 and about to get my license in 4 months and i dont get in any trouble and i have a 4.0/5.0 gpa and on my last report card, my grades were A B B B C C. so will it lower the cost of my insurance?""

How much is insurance for a moped for a 17 year old?

I wanna get a moped and im17 years old, can someone tell me the procedure of getting a moped,do i go for a test, and how much will insurance cost for a 50cc ped, thanks in advance""

Individual: How much more expensive/cheaper is Obamacare compared to other medical insurance plans?

Also does Obamacare give you more or less benefits.

2-door and 4-door car insurance?

I'm considering about buying a new honda civic car . I heard somebody say that 2-door car's insurance is always more expensive than the 4-door one. is that right ? (remember that the 2-door car and the 4-door car have the same features,machines) And how they calculate the amount of my car insurance? What do they depend on?""

What relativley low insuarnce group sports bikes are there?

Im 19 and just passed my bike test. Im looking for my first 'sports' bike (fully faired) with quite a led down riding position. I will be restricting the bike to 33bhp (but DON'T take that into consideration). Around the 600/650cc mark. So as a question again.. What sports bikes are cheapest to insure? Thanks.

Which auto insurance company covers him this time?

My husband got sued in 2006 for a car accident he caused. His insurance at that time settled in court. He has since switched insurance company. Now he's being sued again by the same people. So, which insurance company covers him now? His old insurance company or his new one?""

""Moving to CO from another state in a month, how do I go about switching my car insurance? ?""

I'm under my dad's insurance now (AAA).. it's his and my car on his policy. I was told by them that once I cancel it, it'll take effect immediately and be taken off the policy. I'm moving to CO on the 18th of next month and want my new insurance (USAA) to take effect on that day. If I start my policy for that day and cancel the AAA the same day, will AAA pro-rate June's insurance so I don't have to pay for the full month since my car won't be insured by them for that whole month? I just don't want to get stuck paying the bill twice in one month for both companies.""

Do I need a drivers insurance?

I have my learner's permit and I live in California.... My parents have Triple A insurance as their auto insurance company and I was wondering if I have to have insurance in order to drive the car.... or do I get added when I get my drivers' license?

Car Insurance If I Am Not The Car Owner?

Is it possible for me to insure myself to drive my sister's car, and to add her as a named driver? Or do I have to own the car. My sister has just passed her test, and her insurance would cost 700 if she does it herself. If I insure myself to drive the car and add her as a named driver, then it would be more like 200. Does my sister have to sign over ownership of the car to me for this to work?""

Are there any programs for college kids to get cheap dental insurance?

In college, not covered by my parent's insurance and can't get it at my job. Is there any sort of programs where College age students can get a relatively cheap dental insurance, or dental work done on the cheap? If it helps, I'm in Oklahoma.""

Which Is the best car insurance?

Hi everyone!! I am a 20 year old single mother. At the moment, I am studying and also about to get back into work. I have just passed my driving test and looking to buy a car....realistically, I think at this point a used one is ok even though I saw a site that sells cars and you can pay on installments. If I wanted a Ford KA, or a Mini Cooper, or a Renault (the one from the I see you baby shaking that asss advert few years ago), which insurance company is best and can give me a good cheaper deal. Thank you!!!!""

Health Insurance for 24 year old male?

Son has Blue Cross but it is now $137 per month......anyone know of any comparable insurance that is cheaper and has similar benefits? It is just him....no wife or no kids. Thanks.

""Does paying in full for car insurance cover 6 months, one year, or what?

Progressive has the option of paying in full for car insurance instead of paying monthly. The total is about $1500. Does this only cover 6 months? Or one year?

Where does the money go that everyone pays for car insurance?

If I pay $100 a month for car insurance for 20 years that's $24,000. I know 5 people in my family who pay approximately that so that's about $120,000. So with everyone who drives pays about that, where does all that money go? To pay for car wrecks? Government? What? (No, I've never had a wreck or used the insurance to pay for anything)""

What are some Big name Insurance companies?

Admitted Carriers I believe is the Term for Big name/Most Legitimate. I am in California. Please give me a list, of all the ones u can think of, all the commercials u can remember, what ever. I need to contact every single big name company, I am shopping for Commercial Insurance, & Need to find The Best price & Best policy thank you very much! & May god bless you!""

Rear ended in a three car crash. Who's insurance is liable?

I was rear ended in a 3 car crash, I am the first one. Car 2 hit me first ( I feel 2 impact), then car 3 slightly bump the car 2. My rear bumper ( car 1) damaged and the front of car 2 got heavy damage. the rear bumper of car 2 almost no damage. also, the front of car 3 look like new. Problem is car 2 insurance only agreed to pay 50% because they said after car 2 rear end me , car 3 rear end car 2 that make further damage to my rear bumper. Car 3 insurance will not pay anything because base on the damage they found, car 3 can't make any damage to me. The repair cost is less than 1000 ( my deductable) , I don't want to use my own insurance to repair my car, coz I think my ins co will not fight for my 1000 deductable. What I can do? I am not agreed what the car 2 insurance co said. Should I go to small claim court or.... its only 850 dollars.""

Collision claim - will your insurance go up?

I hit a pole the other day with the side of my truck. There were no other cars involved and there are just a few scratches and one big dent. If my insurance company (Allstate) pays to fix it under my collision coverage will my rates go up? I know I have to pay the deductable - just wondering if my monthly payments will be higher.

What's the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

I just bought a new car--now comes full coverage & plates. It's a 2003 Mazda w/ 18,000 miles. Does the year or the mileage make insurance or plates higher? Do they request tickets for the last 3 or 5 years? You have to have full coverage when making payments right? I'm thinking Geico is the cheapest I've found so far?

Affordable health insurance in Georgia?

We're moving to Georgia (currently live in Europe) and my hubby's company has crappy insurance. It's free for him, but for me and my infant it'll cost almost $700 per month! That's just ridiculous! Are there any Georgia residents out there who pay their own insurance and would suggest their insurance company? I'm 32, a stay-at-home mom, and my son is 9 months. PLEASE don't answer that I should go back to work and get insurance there - Our plan is for me to stay at home until our son is old enough to go to school, and then I'll go back to work. Thanks in advance for all educated and serious answers!""

Is mutual insurance good?

One of the insurance brokers is asking for mutual insurance, I really dont know its good or not, If I ask him, he will say, its good to me. So asking you people. . Thanks""

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

Can the insurance of a car I own cover 16 year old girl driver?

Can the insurance of a car I own cover 16 year old girl driver?

What car insurance to choose? free easy 10 points?

I just want an insurance for 1 month for my car. I just called Halifax up and they said that the minimum period of insurance they do is 2 months so does anyone know of any insurers who do 1 month of car insurance thanks a lot

Teen insurance law in Texas?

I'm 18 year old that has a drivers license my parents are telling me because I have one the insurance company is tellin them it is a law for everyone in the household to pay for insurance of the 2 cars we have but I don't drive those 2 cars. Do I really have to pay just because I live with them?

How long are car insurance companys supposed to provide a rental car for?

i have a 2004 chevy caviler that is completely paid for and some guy ran into the back of my car yesterday. It's completely crushed in. i have liability and he has full coverage progressive. I contacted his insurance company and they want me to pay 18 dollars a day to rent some stupid little kia shouldn't he have to pay for it till my car gets out the shop or claimed totaled and i get some money to replace my car. help me out as much as you can 10 points to the best and most detailed answer

Will my insurance go up?

i got my first ticket for not stopping correctly at a stop sign. Will my insurance go up? isnt it a violation which doesnt really make the premium go up.

Car insurance - My car is totalled - what now?

my car is totaled according to the insurace company. It is the other person at fault so their insurance is dealing with it. I feel as if I'm getting the runaround a bit. How will they determine a fair value of the car and what if I don't agree with what they offer? They have also given me a rental which they tell me I must return once the agreement is made and I will be out of town and cannot return it for a week. They said I have to pay for the rental of the days I am gone!!!!!! Do I have to agree to their terms or how do I go about handling this situation? HELP i don't like dealing with this stuff but I don't want to be screwed over Thanks

How can i find out how much my insurance on a car would be?

I'm barely 18 & I'm trying to find out how much insurance would be on a car if i buy it. I know insurance would be kind of high since it's my first car. My mom is gonna buy me the car but she's picky about how much the property tax is & the insurance on a car would be. Well to be any specific, the car I'm looking into is a 2004 Mitsubishi Galant GTS. I know the insurance my mom is on but I want to know if I just call them up & tell them I'm wanting to know what would the insurance be on this car if i bought it. Any idea???""

""When you buy a used car, are the licence plates previously on the car the new owners? And about insurance:?

how does someone legally test drive a car if they had no previous car or insurance and also how do they drive it from the dealership to their home?

Home-owner's Insurance Question?

Okay, maybe a stupid question, but I need help here to settle an argument. I say that home owner's insurance does NOT cover an air conditioner if it breaks, unless it is tied to a disaster event i.e. lightening strike, fire, etc.. Husband says that you can have it in your policy that insurance company will pay to repair or replace the air conditioner if it just breaks down, as long as it is within the manufacturer's expiration date.""

Help! which is cheaper of 2 cars on insurance?

which has cheaper insurance? 1. Mazda 3 touring hatchback 2009 (median level trim and automatic) 2. Volvo C30 T5 hatchback (base trim and automatic) ??? which one??? cuz my dad is worrying about the insurance for me. im 19 and going be 20 soon!

POLL: How much do you pay for car insurance?

i asked about how much car insurance costs but didn't get any great answers, so i'm just going to do a little survey""

""If someone else drives my car while I'm in the car, but they're not listed on my insurance, is this legal?""

My boyfriend and I are over the age of 25 and live together. We are not listed as drivers on each other's car insurance policies, so I was wondering if it's legal for my boyfriend to drive my car while I'm in it or for me to drive his car while he's in it. If we get pulled over or get into an accident, are we covered by the other person's insurance? Will we get in trouble for not being listed on the insurance of the vehicle we're driving?""

Im placed under my moms insurance- but i live with a freind. and im using there car-?

if im put under my moms car insurance - but im livving in another house hold and using someone elses car - would i still be covered(with my moms insurance) ? or you cant do that? becuase if i get in an accident in my friends car - does that cover me and them? or me? there car? someone please explain !

St. Johns Insurance Company?

Does you have any positive/negative expierences with St. Johns Insurance Company?

Im 19 and look for a cheap car with some power but quotes below 900?

im 19 year old i got my full licence for 2 years now and im looking to buy a car a cheap second hand one any would be good to be honest just need it to be 1. big so people can fit in comfortably 2. reliable 3. good mpg 4. not ugly 5. 1 litre - 1.4litre 6. and ermm it must be a car nice to drive and can go on motorways without struggling thanks i was thinking about a vw polo or a vw golf but im not sure if they would be cheap on insurance thanks :)

Car Insurance pay out when vehicle written off?

My car has been written off and my insurance have offered my 1,250 for it. They said they use some Glass Vehicle Valuation thing so I went on it's website n had the car valued myself n there's 5 categories for pricing the vehicle: Trade-in Excellent condition - 1,376 Trade-in Average condition - 1,210 Trade-in below average condition - 1,066 Dealer sale price - 2,640 Private seller price - 2,221 Which is the price I should get for my car? It was an 02 plate Renault Megane Coupe Privilege + in excellent condition! I found the same car in a different colour on Auto Trader for 2,000. I think I should get the private seller price as I am effectively selling them my car and not trading it in!? My car was set on fire btw! Awoke at 3am to the thing in flames just a few feet away from my house! ='(""

How do insurance company's value cars?

i had a 07 impala and just got a new 2010 impala and my insurance is cheaper on the new car than the old car why is that?? is the older the car the more it is?? or what really takes place on the prices??

Car insurance help?!?!?

Im 16 I own a 1991 Mercedes Benz 300se. About 180,000 miles how much would insurance be for me monthly/annually?""

My car insurance is 5000 dollars?

I'm a 17 male and just got my license here in texas. I forgot which insurance company it is, but my yearly insurance fee is 5000 dollars, and thats a around 400 a month. I dont have my own vehicle and I'm sharing cars with my family. Is this normal to have that of an expensive plan?? Or should we shop around more for better prices?""

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much would the bill be for a 20-year-old male with the least amount you can get?

What are some good but cheap car insurance places for a 23 year old female?

Need good but cheap insurance! Serious answers please!!!

What health insurance company is the best value?

I want to sign up for health insurance but I'm not sure which company to go through as there are so many. I'm a 21 year old male with little income (about $1200 a month) with no dependents or job benefits. I went through the healthcare marketplace from the federal government which just said I need to get medicaid. I'm in the process of applying for medicaid as well. But if the medicaid doesn't work out or isn't very effective what is anyone's opinion on the best insurance company for me. I'm looking to spend only around $100 for a monthly premium. Any feedback will help me narrow it down and know what to consider. Thanks for the help.

What's the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

I just bought a new car--now comes full coverage & plates. It's a 2003 Mazda w/ 18,000 miles. Does the year or the mileage make insurance or plates higher? Do they request tickets for the last 3 or 5 years? You have to have full coverage when making payments right? I'm thinking Geico is the cheapest I've found so far?

Cheapest Scooter Insurance for 16 year old?

I just turned 16 and want to get a scooter The actual license and scooter isnt too expensive 50 for provisional, 89 for CBT, bout 20 for the thory and 60 for practical However, insurance is a pain!! :/ does anyone know who the cheapest insurer is for a 16 year old? I would love to be able to drive on the scooter but insurance is too much. Also, what is the best scooter to get. By best i mean a scooter which has the cheapest insurance? THanks a lot!!""

Small Business General Liability Insurance rates for premiums and audits?

The small business that I work for is currently shopping for a GL carrier and in getting quotes, questions are coming up that I just cannot find the answers for. Our current GL company basis our premium on our policy year payroll. However, one company that we are getting a quote from is basing the quote on the policy year gross income. Now, these two numbers are VASTLY different and I don't know why one is basing my premium on one item and another company on another item. Another question is Audit Rates. The audit rates between these two companies, (again based on different item dollar amounts,) differs also and I was wondering what a standard audit dollar amount would be, or maybe an average? If it makes a difference, my company does subcontract low voltage work. Thanks!""

Car insurance?

i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions

Do you know of affordable health insurance for an individual?

I'm 33 and I really need health insurance. The insurance where my husband works has an outrageous premium. If anyone knows of good health insurance with dental, please let me know. I would appreciate it very much!""

IS THERE A LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE COMPNANIES?

IS THERE A LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE COMPNANIES?

What is the average insurance cost for a 2012 Chevy Cruze?

I will be turning 21 in June. No tickets or accidents on my record. What would the average monthly payment be for insurance?

Car insurance for teenagers?

Just wondered if anyone had some top notch car insurance companies that could get me an affordable quote, below a grand would just be amazing! (i live in the uk) thanks!""

Can you get real auto insurance without a license ?

I dont have a license or a California ID i am a teen 18 years old have my passport and birth certification but that's it so can i get auto insurance and how much would it be if yes

Car insurance want my ssn for quote?

Im trying to get car insurance quotes and it seems that every website asks for my ssn. I just want to get a rough quote and don't want them to have my name, info, and ssn in their database. Why are they all asking for the ssn all of a sudden? Plus if I don't go with them or check different places for different quotes then my credit report is being hit with numerous inquires. Ahhhhhh! fustrating! Any suggestions? or is this just one of those things that Im going to have to just deal with and that's it?""

Will my insurance company find out? If so how?

I got into a fender bender the other day, it was my fault, I can either pay for the damages to the other car out of my pocket, or I can let him tell his insurance company about it and he has a $500 deductable, I do not have coalition insurance, only liability, so if he reports it to his insurance will I still have to pay his $500 deductable out of my pocket or will my liability insurance company have to pay the $500? Or will his insurance company pay the $500? If he reports it to HIS insurance company will MY insurance company find out about the accident?""

Can an AZ camera ticket go on your insurance when you live in California but were driving in AZ?

I received 3 camera tickets in the mail and I live in Cali I called my sister in AZ and she said to ignore them because if a cop does not issue the ticket is not a valid ticket, I called my insuurance and she said that I can have my license suspended and my rates will go sky high, After reading the last inquiry will my rates go higher and points go onto my record? need an answer fast!!!! I am supposd to send in the ticket with my husbands drivers license blown up because to show he was not the driver my son was and it states on the ticket if you were not the driver of this vehicle but owned the vehicle send in the folllowing documents which will be my husbands license? Am I am serious trouble with m,y insurance and will my son get his license suspened? Help""

Is insurance a must for everybody to have?

Is insurance a must for everybody to have?

""Where can I get cheap car insurance for a vw golf 1.4 51 reg? Im 17 and just passed, I'll b on parents policy?""

I will be on my parents policy, with a parent as the main driver and me as the named driver? Ive looked at tesco value and its coming up as 2500!!! i was hoping more along the lines of 1500""

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Has anyone got car insurance with the Cooperative?

what are they like?, good service etc? would you recommend""

How much would the insurance cost for corsa 1.2 limited edition for 17yr old new driver?

How much would the insurance cost for corsa 1.2 limited edition for 17yr old new driver?

What car in your opinion would cost the least on insurance?

A acura rsx, Lexus is300, scion tc""

What insurance will accept me?

Here is what happen. I was invited into this car insurance agency. I was with them for the last 5 years. I had 3 accidents in the last year. 1 first one was at an airport and the guy that hit me claimed full responsability 2nd a guy went through a red light and hit me and was charge with a dwi. The 3rd a chick clipped my car and no claims were paid because it was a he said she said. My car insurance now said that they were dropping me. I was tlaking to an agent and she was telling me it did not matter that 2 were not my fault because i was still in an accident. I was then telling her how I felt robbed and cheated by them. I then heard what sound like chewing in the back round. I said Are you eating She said what? I said are you eating She said um... maybe I said how rude, after 5 years of loyalty and you do this They dropped me. They said no one will want me. how can i get car insurance now?""

""What is the average cost of business insurance in Portland, Oregon?""

What is the average cost of business insurance in Portland, Oregon?""

How can I change my insurance plan in Covered California?

I enrolled in Covered California last December. I just realized that I am not happy with my Kaiser plan. How can I upgrade it? I tried to call but I waited on hold for more than an hour and when I was finally able to speak with a representative, she hung up on me. I plan to stay with Covered California but I want to change/upgrade my plan without being kicked out of the system. I am worried because it is only 4 days to the end of open enrollment.""

Car accident insurance question?

Last week someone backed up into my bumper while my car was parked. They were very nice and left a note, and we were in the middle of sorting things out. I got an estimate for the damage, but we had not yet done anything with their insurance company yet. Today my boyfriend was driving my car, and he spun out and totaled the car. His insurance should be able to cover it, but how should I go about for the insurance with the first person? Do I need to tell them about the accident or is it not necessary? We haven't yet filed the insurance and so I don't know if it will be a problem. Any help is appreciated.. thanks""

Does car insurance cost change depending on the area you live in?

I went to college and I would really like my car. However, my parents say that the car insurance would increase because of where my school is located. Is this true?""

If Affordable Care Act is tossed by SCOTUS what happens to those under 26 & on their parents insurance?

Simple question. Will employers go back to the old max age which was usually 19? Or will they stick with the new 26 since that transition has already been made, and millions of young adults only have insurance because of the new max age. Love or hate the rest of obamacare. I usually can't find anyone that thinks its a bad idea to let kids just trying to get a foothold on life to be on their parents insurance.""

Can I open this kind of Insurance Business?

I was wondering if I would be able to offer a secondary insurance just for theft or total of a car. My sister has and resells auto insurance but my idea was to offer to modified imports. Or could offer a guarantee to pay difference from what I value the car then what their primary insurance pays? I know you need a license to sell insurance. Any input will help.

How much cash will be taken due to the Affordable Health Care Act?

I ask how much cash will the IRS deduct from my refund due to me not having any health insurance? OK I know its bad that I have no health care but I just found a full time job a month ago that provides health care that I can afford and use. I did not have any health insurance for the 2012 year and just learned that the IRS will take cash from you refund due to the poor, i.e, me, not having insurance. So can somebody tell me (who is actuality intelligent and knows taxes) how much cash I will loose for this B.S. Law? P.S. Please don't comment just to tell me I'm a lazy jerk who just won't spend the money to get health insurance. I work very hard and work two part time jobs just to have food and shelter. I understand that insurance is high due to people getting hurt and can't afford the bill so it gets written off. When I get hurt or sick I stay at home and heal myself, I don't abuse the system! I just can't afford the monthly payment for health care with my other bills!""

What's the cheapest car insurance company you have found??

I just bought a new car--now comes full coverage & plates. It's a 2003 Mazda w/ 18,000 miles. Does the year or the mileage make insurance or plates higher? Do they request tickets for the last 3 or 5 years? You have to have full coverage when making payments right? I'm thinking Geico is the cheapest I've found so far?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheaper-car-insurance-acura-rsx-2006-honda-civic-coupe-estella-adams"

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] at 22:35 -- 

PT: hi hello anybody home?

ID: Not currently. But I'm listening. 

ID: I hear Dorian's home.

PT: yeup. 

PT: there was a heartfelt tearful reunion between him sirius sage and myself outside skaianet building today. dope shit.

ID: Does sound dope. 

ID: I'll have to remember to stop by.

PT: yeah thatd be cool! making yourself like physically available to people is pretty dope sometimes too. 

PT: hey speaking of. 

PT: what the fuck my guy?????????

ID: ...I didn't realize we were in a position to be making these particular demands.

PT: THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN!!!

ID: So what do you mean?

PT: i mean!! 

PT: why have you been avoiding me?

ID: I've been attending to my own affairs. 

ID: Same as you. 

ID: If that includes avoiding you, then I guess we really should reevaluate the double standards being put in place. 

ID: But I mean. 

ID: If you're going to let any asshole come in and wreck what you're trying to accomplish, why settle on me?

PT: wow okay. 

PT: urrgghh. 

PT: listen i know i fucked up but its not exactly something i can atone for if we arent gonna be straight with each other. 

PT: you were acting all dodgy even before that.

ID: And you weren't? 

ID: Let's not pretend either of us has a fucking clue when it comes to jumping to decisions. 

ID: Decisions maybe we weren't ready for. 

ID: But that's neither here nor there. 

ID: I can't hold myself responsible for your feelings or decisions. Only my own. 

ID: You know I'm crazy about you.

ID: I don't want to get pulled back into this cycle.

PT: well FUCK neither do i??? 

PT: i dont want you to hold yourself responsible for me. i never wanted that! 

PT: but you do!!!! thats why im like walking around eggshells around you. 

PT: you cant stand watching me fuck myself over because you cant handle how powerless it makes you feel. thats it isnt it???? get a clue!!!!! 

PT: i 👏 dont 👏 care 👏 about 👏 being 👏 rescued 👏!!! 

PT: IM SICK JACK. so are YOU. and NOBODY can fix us. NOTHING can fix us. 

PT: both our miserable lives are gonna be filled with us fucking up in varying degrees of severity until were lucky enough to finally bite the big one.

ID: That's almost comforting. As if I'm not vividly aware of how everything ends up in the end. 

ID: But if it's all doomed to shit from the beginning, what's the point in trying? 

ID: It sure as hell isn't me you're disappointing. I've had a hard lesson in learning what I'm about. 

ID: And yeah. I'm not about watching you fuck yourself over again. 

ID: All the while, fucking this... relationship over because neither of us are equipped to handle the reality. 

ID: It isn't about getting fixed. It's about managing and coping enough to live another day. 

ID: That's what you should be focusing on. And what I should be helping you with. 

ID: It sucks that I'm not. And it sucks that you wouldn't let me if I tried. 

ID: So again. What's the point?

PT: arrgghh what the fuck??? 

PT: jack im not trying to shut you out!!! that isnt what i mean. 

PT: youve BEEN helping me. ever since i got back youve been nothing but supportive. 

PT: christ i feel awful about relapsing. i know how it looks. 

PT: but youve made a difference. everyones made a difference. 

PT: i fucked up. thats on me. i want to own up to it instead of running away from it like i always used to. im tired of being that way. 

PT: and i definitely dont wanna run away from something good cuz im afraid of breaking it. 

PT: because when im without it i know exactly what im missing out on. and i know its worth holding onto. 

PT: ... jack. can i please just talk to you in person?

ID: Depends. 

ID: Are you sober?

PT: :/

PT: yes.

ID: I'll make it back to the apartment later on today.

PT: alright. ill be around.

JACK: -Some hours later, Jack makes his way back to the apartment. Coming from who knows where, that detail wasn't important. Anger was still burning like acid in his belly, which he thought was better than the exhaustion that was threatening to overcome him. It was so much better than being detached and absent from the conflict.- 

JACK: -Lumbers into the apartment, apprehension tense on his face and his shoulders.-

RYAN: -she's waiting on the couch, clicking through space netflix or whatever mindlessly while she's waiting for jack to show up, failing miserably to keep herself distracted when all the things she wants to say keep running through her frustrated mind. she's alone, since sage is catching up with her previously absentee twin, and when she hears jack come in she jumps a little in her seat.- 

RYAN: -looks over at him, squaring her shoulders.- ... hey.

JACK: I'm home. -states like that's not obvious. Closes the door behind him, channeling more of that apprehension as he continues to hover by the entrance hall.- Now what. 

JACK: Pleasantries?

RYAN: no. -crap... what DOES she say now? there's too much she wants to say, it's impossible to know where to begin.- 

RYAN: ... can i start by saying im sorry?

JACK: Sorry for... -tries to grasp for words for her.- 

JACK: Falling off the bandwagon? Or... 

JACK: -drags a hand down his face.- Being mutually fucking awful at this feelings thing?

RYAN: i mean... 

RYAN: both kinda? 

RYAN: -looks away with a sigh.- im sorry i always keep this shit to myself. 

RYAN: its like i know people are there for me and i know i can reach them if i need to but ive kinda been lacking the discretion to know when and how and... 

RYAN: i was hanging out with sage the other day and we talked about a lot of things. i dont wanna say i had an EPIPHANY like suddenly everything makes sense and i know how to be a better person whos better at communicating! 

RYAN: but i guess it did help me figure out what i need right now. 

RYAN: so im sorry for holding you at arms length. me being afraid is no excuse to run. if anything its the opposite. -shrugs. she doesn't think it means much just to say these things, but that's about all she can do right now.-

JACK: -It's true. None of this was actually succeeding in making him feel better. For as much as Ryan tried to make sense of the mess of her brain, Jack was having an equally fucking time wading through the muck in his own. He rubs at his neck and shoulder, uncomfortable and uncertain of how the hell he should be behaving.- So... 

JACK: What is it you need?

RYAN: i need to quit being so fucking selfish. -sighs- 

RYAN: because i AM. im stubborn and i hide and i complicate things because i think its better for everyone to try and distance myself and forget about all pain ive caused people. 

RYAN: i need to just... listen to people. really listen to what it means when they say theyre there for me. 

RYAN: it sucks and i feel like a burden but whatever. i have to keep truckin.

JACK: -He feels ill having these things laid out in front of him. Again, he told himself. The word felt scalding and brutal even as he thought it. How the shit he was supposed to make sense of her efforts versus his own (???), Jack had no idea. He exhales painfully, his expression tight.- 

JACK: Where does all this leave me? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Or what I'm supposed to be doing. 

JACK: Not that I expect you to know but... fuck. 

JACK: -wrings his hands about. Exasperated. Unable to express or even TELL what he was feeling.- We're a fucking mess.

RYAN: -watches the way the confused emotions twist painfully in his expression and mannerisms and matches it with her own.- 

RYAN: ... i know. 

RYAN: but baby you-- youve been doing good... 

RYAN: when i came back home i barely recognized you. you seemed so much more content with yourself and just. -gestures widly.- life! 

RYAN: im not saying i thought you had it all together but shit you made so much progress. -sighs- it made me feel like... i wasnt completely hopeless. it inspired me i guess. especially when you told me... the worst was over. 

RYAN: -runs a hand through her hair- what im saying is i dont think you need to do anything different from what youve been doing. 

RYAN: i just want to be a part of that. without being afraid of fucking it all up for you. 

RYAN: ... i dunno if that makes sense.

JACK: -blind eyes focus and tense at spaces he can't see. Picturing what her face might look like just by her tone of voice.- I can't stand here and pretend like it doesn't make sense. It does, Ryan. 

JACK: But at what cost? We work our asses off to get to a place where we're at least semi-functional, just to... throw it all out of the fucking window as soon as these impossible standards our sick heads start putting into our minds. 

JACK: Jesus fuck! -whips at his forehead, more exasperated than before. His voice echoes off the walls of the apartment.- I turn you into a symbol. You stop being a person, more like someone I have to warp myself to accommodate and-- 

JACK: It's wrong! It's so fucking WRONG that I'm the one that fucks it up for us. Why do we keep letting it get like this?? Why do you keep excusing it?? -hand flops to his side then, like a dead weight as scornfully, he turns his head.- 

JACK: Why can't I just. 

JACK: Be there for you? -scuffs his boot at the ground. The picture of unhappiness.-

RYAN: -at some point she's gotten to her feet, only to wind up stuck in place like she isn't sure where her restlessness wants to take her. instead, she passes her hands through her hair a few times, trying to figure out the answers to all the questions tumbling out of him.- 

RYAN: ... but you have been there for me. 

RYAN: youve been helping me stay on track all this while. whenever i thought i felt myself slipping id go to you cuz i knew youd understand and-- christ. 

RYAN: you literally saved me from getting jumped and who the fuck knows what else mightve happened to me that night. 

RYAN: you said it already... you arent the only who whos been distancing themselves. im not excusing shit. nothing im not doing too. -focuses on him again, taking steps towards him, touching whatever furniture she slowly passes by.- 

RYAN: im scared of dragging you down. im too much work. im scared im poison. 

RYAN: do you see me that way?

JACK: -As her voice floats closer, he finds his weight sagging until his shoulder presses by the hallway wall. Allowing her to approach with his tone nothing more than a mutter.- God damn it... 

JACK: Can't talk to you when you're like this... -says... and despite the words, Jack is wistful.-

RYAN: -huffs a little when she stops, keeping a short distance between them. her hands fiddle with her hair again nervously, but she still watches him carefully.- like what?

JACK: Vulnerable and approachable. And shit. -mumbles around a lopsided crack of a smile. At nothing in particular but if only Jack could see the cute uncertain look on her face. He'd sweep her up right then and there. Instead, he sighs.-

RYAN: -expression softens at the sight of his smile, and it tugs at her heart strings something painful.- ... shut up. im always tough. ill fight you right now. -sad as she is, she has to laugh a little. but when it quickly subsides, she sobers up again.- 

RYAN: jack... -exhales- 

RYAN: you know im not perfect.

RYAN: ive come and gone from your life so many times. everyones lives. i kept things from you. i did it back then and i started doing it again. 

RYAN: of course youre scared or upset. you just wanna help me. 

RYAN: but youre hurt too. youre mad. youre allowed to be. i want you to be. 

RYAN: dont idealize me. and i wont do that to you. 

RYAN: i just... think we can take the ugliness with the good too. i think its worth it.

JACK: -the weariness starts to tug at his expression again... But ultimately, he nods.- Makes sense logically. 

JACK: But ironically, I can't trust myself to know that is how I'm supposed to see things. Not always.

JACK: I'm blind, if you would. To those things. 

JACK: Wraps up pretty-like in the context, if you ask me.

RYAN: -scoffs a little, but she nods.- ... i get that. in a way. 

RYAN: like people tell me all the time i shouldnt feel bad. that im trying and thats all that matters and i should be proud of myself for the progress ive made. 

RYAN: -shrugs- but im not. not really. you know? 

RYAN: i believe what people tell me its just... not as easy to tell myself and believe that.

RYAN: i bury it i guess. so that i dont have to figure out how i really feel about it.

JACK: -closes his eyes and nods sagely. His answer delivered in an equally sage-like way.- It's honest-to-god funnel fry style horseshit.

RYAN: -dammit, she's smiling again. rude ass...- pretty much. 

RYAN: its gonna take a lil more than powdered sugar to make this mess prettier. 

RYAN: ... i never meant to rush into things again. 

RYAN: but i blame our fuckin ridiculous chemistry for that tbh. 

RYAN: i just... wanna be a part of your life. in whatever way i fit into it that works.

JACK: Mmmm. -scratches idly at his chin and neck.- 

JACK: I was personally going to blame the mad crazy ape banana monkey sex dreams you were having. 

JACK: There's been worse reasons to rush into shit, I'm sure.

RYAN: shut up?????? obviously i was avoiding that embarrassingly telling topic you insensitive bitch. -SHOVES HIM, but gently.- 

RYAN: god we are pathetic.

JACK: Ask anyone. Couldn't be a straight shooter if I tried. -reaches for the hands that shove him. Squeezing at them just as gently.- 

JACK: Insensitive bitch is my maiden name.

RYAN: is your middle name stupid ho? -looks at the hands holding hers, heart fluttering suddenly. dammit. she squeezes back till her fingers interlace with his.-

JACK: Ass. It's stupid "ass" ho. -slender fingers fit so thin and perfect beneath his own. He can tell by the simple touch.-

RYAN: ohhhh damn. i was so close. -shuffles her feet a little before she closes some of the distance still between them, resting her head against his shoulder wearily.- 

RYAN: what happens now?

JACK: -grasping at straws, really. He was about to ask her the same question himself. What Jack does do, is bring his arms around her shoulders. Holding her.- Get our respective shits together, I'm hoping. 

JACK: But honestly... 

JACK: Who fucking knows.

RYAN: yeah. -exhales again, trying not to overthink it all, but also not to flee from the uncertainty. it simply is. and in some way, eventually, it'll be alright. she squeezes her arms around him too, savoring what she can of the moment.- 

RYAN: i still think you were onto something back then. 

RYAN: about the worst being over with.

JACK: Maybe... -rests his cheek against her hair.- 

JACK: I wouldn't trust a word that past asshole of me might have said. 

JACK: He's been known to bullshit.

RYAN: -peeks up at him.- goddammit jack stupid ass ho insensitive bitch-crocker...

JACK: -Her peeks give him the opportunity to nuzzle, burying his nose in the short locks of her hair.- Hm... 

JACK: You smell pretty.

RYAN: smell ALL you want. -giggling again, she can't help to take advantage of the proximity -and brush her lips against his cheek in a chaste kiss.-

JACK: Some of the few things I'm reduced to, in my condition. -the smooch on his cheek has him tilting his head that way, reflexively going for a peck to her lips. Unfortunately, the whole execution ends up clumsy and he kisses at her chin instead. Wasted... and realizing what he's doing.- 

JACK: ...Sorry. -diddles between staying and pulling away, the arms turning slack around her shoulders.-

RYAN: -clumsy, but so sweet. she wants to go even less, perhaps against her better judgement. and she doesn't seem to budge much either.- dont be sorry. 

RYAN: but also same.

JACK: -Well someone has to show self control, he tells himself. Or try to. Arms peel from her shoulders until he can rest his hands there. It's then that he leans in again... and kisses at the top of her head.-

RYAN: -her heart sinks when they unfold from each other, but the bittersweet kiss to her forehead serves as another reminder that things will be okay. while he rests his hands on her shoulders, hers find his cheeks, framing him in such a way that he has to know she's looking him right in his smoky eyes.- 

RYAN: ... i love you. -she just needs to remind him.-

JACK: -with delicate palms taking his face, he can almost picture the pretty maroon of her eyes. Maybe his face ends up saying so... but Jack just can't bring himself to figure out what the words meant. If only he could give her the right reply.- That is really.... 

JACK: Enough. 

JACK: It's enough... for us. For now. -says, but not without hesitance. Like he's jumping on a gamble again.-

RYAN: -brushes her thumbs over his skin gently in one last attempt to reassure.- yeah. 

RYAN: it is. -says quietly, but with enough certainty for the both of them. again, for now. she finally draws her hands away then, stepping out from his personal space.- 

RYAN: im gonna... head home now.

JACK: -feels pretty chilly with her hands gone.- ...You sure?

Jake English's #1 Fan-Last Friday at 3:44 AM

RYAN: ... no.

RYAN: i mean i dont want to. -full body shrugging.- 

RYAN: do you... want me to stay?

JACK: Yeah? I mean... 

JACK: Hm. -looks up and around now- 

JACK: I actually don't know what time it is. 

JACK: Or if it's late.

RYAN: -snorts.- its a lil late yeah. 

RYAN: alright then. ill just crash here.

JACK: Our couch might as well have an imprint with your ass on it. Now that you mention it. -brushes by her to lumber deeper into the living room. Hand passing by the furniture as he does so.- Actually I mentioned that. 

JACK: Don't take credit for it.

RYAN: jack mentioning my ass... what a surprise. -watches him before following.- 

RYAN: i will take credit for the perfection of this imprint though. -plops onto the couch and wiggles like she's nestling into the imaginary indent (or is it.)-

JACK: Maybe I should take the couch for a change. -he can imagine what shes doing and is enjoying the imagery.- You can pirate my room.

RYAN: oh? then move bitch im tired of crashing on couches. -unwiggles back onto her feet.- 

RYAN: enjoy the lingering shape of my booty.

JACK: I'll try to not let it lead to anything risque. -fuck you, he's still going into his room. He needs a shower after all.-

RYAN: what you do on your couch is your business. -scampers into the room after him, immediately flopping into the bed so she can get cozy. she's a burrito. it's really a shame he can't see.- :relaxed:

JACK: Touche. -Truely the tragedy of the evening that he can't see. Jack busies himself by fishing for pajamas.- Same goes for what you do on my bed. My business. 

JACK: -And with that he leaves.- Go the fuck to sleep.

RYAN: yeah yeah... goodnight. -hate to see him go, love to watch him leave. :eyes: she rolls deeper into blankets onto her side, letting herself relax enough that she actually gets some restful sleep. it's easy when the sheets smell like him.-

[viralhottopics]

Dr. Keith Ablow: Seventeen ways to improve your life in 2017

FILE —  (AP)

Last year, as 2016 debuted, I published, 16 ways to improve your life. The year before that, I published 15 ways to improve your life. You get the idea. The tradition continues this year, with the addition of number 17. Ive also added bits and pieces to some of the 16 items from last year, just to keep you on your toes.

New Years resolutions often lose their power so quickly and completely that they have become cliché. But there are real, easily achieved ways to positively impact your life beginning January 1.

Heres your cheat sheet of 17 for 2017. They arent in any particular order, so you can pick any one to start with. 

If you complete just five, youll notice a demonstrable improvement in your existence. But if you get through nine of them, you could remake your life.

1. Try to recall one dream you had as a kid whether it was being a poet or a rock drummer or a multimillionaire stock trader and take just a single step in that direction. So often, the ideas we had as children were good ones, and we abandoned them out of fear. The step in the direction of your childhood dream can be very modest signing up for a symposium on poetry, scheduling a single drum lesson, buying a DVD on stock trading. Even just telling two people about your quiet dream can move it forward.  Frozen dreams have a way of thawing out rapidly when you warm them just a tiny bit.

2. Think of your life story, going all the way back to infancy, as an autobiographical book that you can hold in your hands. Now, imagine which page or paragraph you are tempted to tear out and remove from the story. That page or paragraph might be the one that makes you feel profoundly sad or powerless or guilty or ashamed. Next, share it with someone who knows you well but has never heard about that event or phase in your life. Being willing to disclose the events in life we want to turn a blind eye to takes away the power those events have over us.

3. Give a meaningful gift to a friend of yours on a random day not his birthday or her anniversary or Christmas. Giving gifts on those days is fine, but that isnt the same as an unexpected, unscheduled gift. Those are the ones that feel riskier to give and have more power to bond you to others who receive them. And thats because theyre real and independent expressions of friendship, affection, admiration or love.

4. Send handwritten notes to three people you admire most in the world, no matter how powerful or famous, tell them sincerely exactly why you admire them and ask to meet for 10 minutes. Theres a real chance one of them will take you up on the offer. And that one meeting could change you, because great energy is contagious and being in the company of it can stay with you.

5. Give some amount (no matter how small) to the charity you care most about. Giving is a miracle, because it helps others while also telling your unconscious mind that yours is a life of abundance, not scarcity. And that invites more treasures into your existence.  Heres one I just gave to, which I happen to know is completely legit and does great work:  kulturecity.org.

6. Stop telling yourself you love people just because you grew up with them. This is a big one, but a really important one. Did your parents and siblings earn your love by unconditionally loving you as a child? If so, great. But if youve been wishing that had been the case and have felt unwilling to let the dream of having had unconditionally loving parents or siblings slip away, then loosen your grip. If the people you grew up with werent focused on helping you stay true to yourself, then admit it to yourself. You might stop unconsciously recruiting people just like them into your life.

7. Schedule an initial psychotherapy session. Psychotherapy is the gold standard way to begin to get to know yourself more deeply. In a world of distractions and depersonalization, it remains the technique most reliably focused on restoring your connection to your true self. Hopefully, that first session will convince you of the power of psychotherapy to change your life, and youll schedule more. No one with the financial ability to be in psychotherapy should deny himself or herself that transformational opportunity.

8. Get angry about something unfair, say so out loud and dont stand for it. Anger gets a really bad rap in our culture; its accused of everything from destroying people spiritually to causing heart attacks. But suppressed anger can be more toxic. When youre offended by something you hear about in the news or you see unfolding in your personal life, try saying so, in no uncertain terms, when youre asked about it or maybe even if you arent. For those of you who have been living lives of quiet frustration, letting yourselves be very direct and very mad about something that sincerely outrages you can start to crack the shell that has your most powerful self inside it.

9. Take two minutes to think about life as a labyrinth. Mazes are built to frustrate people and get them lost. Theyre full of dead ends designed to make people give up and call for helicopters to pluck them out. Not so with labyrinths. Labyrinths may wind this way and that way. They may take you far from where you thought you were heading. But they always, always lead to the center. And thats what life is like. Keep walking, keep your faith and life will take you where you are supposed to go. The turn toward the center could be just a few steps away, when you least expect it.

10. Try praying, at least once. If you havent prayed ever or havent prayed lately, youll discover that the act of praying for what you care deeply about has the effect of reminding you what that thing or those things really are. It also has the effect of reminding you that there is a great power in the universe that you are a part of. Theres something interesting about praying; even people who say they dont believe in God are loathe to pray for the opposite of what they really want. How come? Is it because that, underneath all that cynicism, they actually do believe?

11. Read “Franny and Zooey” by J.D. Salinger, “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, Self Creation by the great psychologist George Weinberg (used copies available online), “Blue Dog” by George Rodrigue, or “Fear God and Take Your Own Part,” by Theodore Roosevelt (or, even better, all five). These five volumes have the power to transform people, and I keep handing them out to patients and friends (along with please forgive the narcissism my book, “Living the Truth”).  If youre really short on time or intention, just read the Afterword to a later edition of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig.

12. Buy one piece of original art. It doesnt need to be expensive. It just needs to appeal to you. Why? Because art is the antidote to our sometimes sterile, technologically driven culture. It makes humanity go viral in a way that YouTube cant. It also confirms your connection to things that cant be measured like your personal vision of beauty.  A good alternative is to create a piece of art.  Just be sure to buy yourself the proper brushes or paints or glue or wood to create it.  That will be a signal to yourself that you value what you are manifesting.

13. Watch the movie “Miracle,” with Kurt Russell. This film about the 1980 U.S. Olympic mens hockey team defeating Russias team is so good, it can convince you to take on the next great challenge in your life. I dont know anyone who has watched it and been unaffected by it.  Also watch the closing argument by Paul Newman at the end of the film “The Verdict,” the scene of Sylvester Stallone and Talia Shire on the beach in “Rocky III,” the monologue by Al Pacino toward the end of the film “The Scent of a Woman” and any performance of God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood.  They can help make you a better person.  No kidding.

14. Tell your romantic partner one thing you would find exciting that you have not yet told that person. In my experience as a therapist, Ive found that people can remain strangers to one another, in terms of passion, even after 10 or 20 years of marriage. We keep sexual secrets. Let one out. You can write it down and pass it to your partner as a note, like we did back in grade school, before cell phones.  You can text it using a confidential messaging app like Wickr.  See what happens. Take the risk.

15. Stand up for someone else. Youll have the opportunity in 2017. I promise. Maybe in your home. Maybe in your neighborhood. Maybe at work. Maybe online. Defending someone will reassure that person and empower you.

16. Take 17 minutes to pretend that you are speaking to yourself, from the heart, as though you are your own ideal parent.  You can do this out loud, if you have the stage presence, or silently.  An ideal parent is empathetic, but honest in assessing his child and giving that child advice.  Sit yourself down, get very quiet and, then, tell yourselfwith the same care you would summon for a son or daughtertwo things you really admire about yourself and one very limiting, very disappointing thing about yourself you really wish you would try to change, because it could limit the whole rest of your life.  That one thing should be so searingly on-target and so necessary that it has the power to make you angry, make you anxious, bring you to tears or bring you to your knees.  Focusing about twice as long (say, 10 minutes) on the admirable qualities is something youd do for your kid, to take the sting out of the next 7 minutes, so do that for yourself.  And keep in mind that 17 minutes is a long time. Youll be tempted to avoid it or shorten it. But, you shouldnt.

17.  If you are a parent, resolve to mimic a habit I stumbled upon, when my kids were younger.  It really helps me stay balanced during times that might, otherwise, cause me lots of stress.  Here it is:  Whenever I get a phone call or an email or a text from someone telling me a project of mine or a goal or a relationship has hit a rough patch, I tell myself, silently, Yeah, well this isnt like a pediatrician calling me. What I mean is that, short of bad news about a child of mine, coming from a pediatrician (or, if your kids are older, like mine, an internal medicine doctor), nothing can really rock me. Because all of us parents know exactly how much time we would have for what seem like the big problems of our day or our week, if the phone rang, and a doctor on the other end said something like, Can I ask where you are? Because Ive seen your son, and I have something serious to talk with you about.  Id like you to come in.  Id have no time for all my other so-called problems, and neither would you.  So, things are actually better than we actually realize, most all of the time.

So, there are your 17 keys to making 2017 a transformational year.  I give them to you with the certain knowledge that you still have, inside you, all the wonderful potential you did the very first day you were born.  You havent lost one bit of it.  Its all there, just waiting for you to discover it.

Dont delay. Start on the list January 1, and by this time next year, God willing, youll be ready for the 18 steps for 2018. Life is like that: a never-ending process of self-improvement.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team. 

Read more: http://fxn.ws/2iBzmPc

from Dr. Keith Ablow: Seventeen ways to improve your life in 2017