#essays in the back of my head so

[sweetlullabyebye]

Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.

But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-

[writterings]

me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college

[arilphys]

i haven't drawn caim in 3 years

[the-bi-space-ace]

There is just something about Echo and Rex’s relationship that makes me wanna scream. There’s so much history and love and respect and I cant even begin to describe how much they mean to me.

The way they reunite on Skako. The way Rex’s face looks when he sees Echo is alive. The way Echo squeezes Rex’s hand back.

Rex basically giving Echo his blessing to go with the batch. Reinforcing the idea that Echo belongs where he decides he belongs. That Echo goes where he is needed.

Echo trusting Rex at every turn. With no hesitation. Always. Even with little information. Even when the deck is stacked against them. He trusts Rex. Always will.

That’s so fucking good.

[charming-doodles]

More Danny!!!

[the-way-astray]

hey it's the anon who started strieefe (sent the very first ask saying keefe would have a crush on you) and i want you to know that it was entirely unrelated to the pro keefe essay you wrote. i hadn't seen it until days after

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ANON. WHAT. WHAT. SO I CAN'T EVEN BLAME ALAYDA ANYMORE???? HELLO???? THIS IS A PLOT TWIST I COULD'VE NEVER SEEN COMING.

and what, pray tell, actually instigated you to kickstart this horrific ship, then? what demon possessed you if it wasn't that essay? do tell, anon.

[averlym]

ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

[danwhobrowses]

Since it's being brought up a bit again - at least from what I've seen - in the Critical Role fandom I'm just gonna vent some stuff about C3 mainly regarding the indecision of the god stuff. I will point out beforehand however that I still really enjoy C3, I love the characters, I like getting lore even from the gods and there's been a lot of great moments, but there are of course frustrations as there has likely been with every campaign

Spoilers just in case, up to 109 and a small 10th Oct 4SD mention

Okay so, the whole god stuff has been done a lot this campaign. I understand why Matt pushed it because it is a grand scale situation where a 'right answer' can differ from person to person, and I'm fine with the fact that there are members of the Hells who don't like the gods, because it's realistic that people who grew up differently would feel differently about these kinds of topics. But with us nearing 110 episodes, I am frustrated with how we're continually entertaining the idea of just doing Ludinus' plan after killing him, mainly in order to chase the pantheon away whether they want to leave or not, we've done the 'Is Ludinus right?' 'No he should be stopped' loop a lot of times now, to me this is just another flavour of that and while we have seen the gods do some shady stuff, I still don't buy the idea that them leaving will fix anything, let alone using a god eater entity to do it.

What frustrates me currently about this is that the Hells seem quite in unison that Ludinus should be stopped, they won't sacrifice one another, and that the gods shouldn't die, but for some reason these three valid points don't get focused on when deliberating the presented options of releasing Predathos. On 4SD Robbie got struck by a moment of clarity when asked how Dorian - notably on the anti-God side of things - feels about potentially sacrificing his friends Fearne and/or Imogen in an effort to make them - despite their preference to not be - a vessel of Predathos, and while it's perfectly fine that they suddenly realised this it does show that the majority of the Hells are experiencing a bit of tunnel vision and focusing on their ideal outcome rather than a compromise they can all unite on. It's not that it's bad to try and unearth more information about the unknown factors, but his reaction makes it apparent that the right questions still aren't being asked to the group;

"Are you willing to sacrifice Fearne and/or Imogen?"

"Are you okay with being just as bad as Ludinus and Zathuda by doing what they plan(ned) to do?"

"Is this what FCG sacrificed himself for?"

If any of the Hells - minus Braius since he doesn't know the group so well - would answer Yes to these I'd be shocked and honestly feel a little betrayed, because it's not in any of their established characters to do that. Believing that they'd answer No to all however bodes the question of why we're even considering releasing Predathos?

The whole plan has so many reasons it should've been shut down already, which is why I personally don't enjoy them talking about it as an option; not just because of the many unknown factors regarding vessels and Predathos, or the fact that Orym and Imogen know just how all-consuming Predathos' pull is, or because it'd mean betraying their allies in the Accords, or because it means risking one or two of their own, or because there's no plan for what comes after by any party, or because we've seen how at the mercy of Predathos' power all Ruidusborns have been both at the Key and on Ruidus itself, or even that the Matron's suggestion that Love - which while unlimited in individual willpower is not omnipotent - will allow the Vessel to subdue Predathos is a limp argument because unlike the previous Death God who allowed the Matron to usurp them Predathos very clearly doesn't want to be contained. All those reasons should've killed the idea anyway but one of the big and more personal reasons the Hells shouldn't be doing it is because releasing Predathos would vindicate Ludinus. All the horrible things he's done and all the people who he has let die all for the plan, the very things the Hells have tried to hold him responsible for would be justified by completing his plan, regardless of whether he lives to see it. Plus the encounter with the Matron once again reiterates that there will be gods who won't run, that some will choose oblivion fighting for this world over abandoning it. Since the Hells don't want the gods to die - including Ashton and Dorian, who want them to leave or at the least be accountable for their actions - releasing Predathos should be nixed here too. As a last resort it is valid but only as a last resort, when all better options - and that is a long list - have failed.

I understand that the table enjoy tough decisions and conflict, and that the majority of them are not in the same mind as the characters they are playing when it comes to the gods, and to reiterate the God lore has been juicy - I loved Downfall - but we are over two thirds through the usual lifespan of a campaign now and the group isn't even locked in on what they should do! I know others want it but I don't believe that a big PVP or an argumentative shouting contest is needed so close to the final arc either, it'd only risk breaking the group apart at a key moment, but at the same time it does need to be addressed to find a point of unison again, and discuss what outcome the characters can live with - what can be abided and compromised on and what cannot.

Matt has been vague with a lot of things this campaign and while in some cases that provides wiggle room for autonomy, exploration and creativity, it also means that when the god topic comes about we tend to go in circles, because everything is still vague and unclear. It doesn't help either that the way Matt has crafted god encounters so far have the ones who want to fight for Exandria either not contacting the Hells - seriously the Stormlord must be frothing to speak with Imogen right? How much more fighting does she need to do? - or in the Wildmother's case are only speaking to people they know won't argue or debate with them. It's kinda apparent that no god so far is truly humbling themselves right now; even the Matron and Arch Heart felt the need to test the Hells before presenting their stance on the situation to them, which is equally frustrating given that they need their help - plus given how the two are conspiring against the others, and Asmodeus is trying to deceive Braius, not even the gods are in unison about an end goal...but still have the audacity to let Lolth rip through Opal's memories and personality and kill Cyrus for the sake of maintaining their truce.

It is easy to point fingers from this side of the fence though, Matt is but one man and he has taken on a massive social and theological argument upon his shoulders which hits very close to home for many communities, but while there is intrigue on what the solution could be it does at times feel like we're pushing only the bad options. For instance, before the Arch Heart visit the plan seemed to be set that we stop Predathos from being unleashed, the Hells were content with it and we got all parties present in Vassalheim to agree to it too. This felt like and still feels like the best course of action because it achieves all 3 united points the Hells have while also preventing more needless bloodshed and establishing diplomatic relations with the now liberated people of Ruidus, it's not easy but it's the path of least unknowns, so why doesn't it feel like it's the prioritized plan anymore? Gods like the Arch Heart don't need Predathos to leave, it's just an excuse they're weaponizing to force the others to be as cowardly as them while also avoiding accountability as Predathos and whoever releases them are left with the blame. But, providing that Predathos remains sealed and new measures are put in place to perhaps further confine and banish it so a repeat doesn't occur, there's no stopping them from just stepping down, passing on their domain to another or simply releasing it back to where it initially came from, while also just chilling in a place close to their family - that still feels like it's possible. But at the same time, their followers are owed an explanation, whether the gods want to stay or leave they should be held accountable for their position and current stance, as well as their absence and/or selfishness, and they can't expect to just run or hide away from criticism for making such a call. Whatever the outcome Exandria cannot go back to how it was, the events of C3 has shaken Exandria to its very core and a new paradigm and direction will need to be taken to create a better tomorrow both mortals and gods alike envision for it, but you can't rebuild or improve things by being absent or by holding a gun to someone else's head, and it can't do either if nobody can agree on anything. Indecision and division has allowed Ludinus to get this far, even when that was spelled out everyone still seems to be falling for that same trap, which is why it taking so long to reach a decision grows more concerning the closer we get to having to fight him on Ruidus one last time.

On top of all this, the indecision isn't the be all and end all to the plot as a whole, deciding on a path doesn't mean the path will not have obstacles or go exactly to plan (when has it ever?) it just means you know where your A to B is, if the Hells decide on what path they take there is still an absolute wealth of things outside of Ruidus still needing to be done too; amassing allies not currently at Vassalheim, saving Ryn wherever they are, getting some more relics, dealing with all the magical items we have to see what to use/sell/absorb, getting to the bottom of the people who were trying to capture Chetney, PopCon, telling FRIDA, Dancer, D, Milo and Joe about FCG's death, laying FCG's remains to rest since most of him is still in the bag of holding, Ashton lore in general (they passed their last Path feature level wise so we'd need a new avenue for them to get Luxon/Dunamancy lore, also can they and Fearne talk to their titan shards for Titan lore? They helped seal Predathos too, is there more to tell about their family or the Hishari? Ashton feels like a gold mine or lore that often stays untapped), Chetney/Orym paternity test, Orym owning up to what his deal with Nana was, potential follow-up stuff with the Kryn or the Unseelie (or just Yu, if we can pry them from Ghosting in Yotei), plus all the previously imprisoned criminals and monsters let loose unto the world by the solstice's undoing of magical seals.

I trust Matt and the players, and I acknowledge that their entertainment is the priority over mine as a spectator, but I'd be lying if pretended I wasn't irritated by this stuff, especially with so much exciting and creative things left that we can do that isn't going back to the 'Is Ludinus right?' argument for the umpteenth time.

[sirenofstyxx]

This isnt new or original at all but i gotta say some of my favorite characters are always those absolutely awful charismatic bastard villians who in fiction I enjoy but if I met in real live I would punt into the stars. Bonus points when they get their inevitable and extremely satisfying comeuppance and get their ass handed to them

[carnelianwings]

Since I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to properly touch on this in a fic because it's more character analysis than something I can properly include in dialogue/exposition without it being very awkwardly out of place and telling not showing, I figured I'd just dump it here. It's something I think about a lot whenever I write for post-Seed Destiny Athrun in a fic, because in so many ways, this is actually something of a non-magical "Ideal (Fake) Reality" situation that Durandal very nearly succeeded in pulling off, but ultimately failed at because Durandal overplayed his hand and underestimated Athrun's loyalty to his friends Kira, who was pulling triple duty opposing Athrun because Kira himself didn't agree with what Athrun was doing, protecting Cagalli, and supporting Cagalli at a time when she was powerless.

It's a trope I very much love in magical/sci-fi settings because it says a lot about the character and the lengths they'll go to get what they want (the willingness and determination to take the longer, harder path to make the dream reality vs the instant gratification option even if it's fake), and also just gives me so much to work with when I write when it comes to character motivation/dialogue/actions.

I feel like a lot of this gets missed in all the memes that he's (somewhat deservedly) suddenly a part of after Seed Freedom, because while Seed Freedom Athrun is very self-assured and confident in his course of action, he definitely took a long hard road (with more downs than ups, in my opinion) between Seed and Seed Destiny to get there.

(Rest behind the cut because there's a reason Athrun Zala is my favorite Seed character, and not just because he's got a lovely voice - thank you Ishida-san for that - and is easy on the eyes.)

When Athrun re-enlists in ZAFT and "continues" his life again as himself, he's given a choice thanks to Durandal's string-pulling: Resume the life that was planned for him by his parents and PLANT (his "destined" life, if you will), or find his way back to the life that he's chosen for himself (with Cagalli and Orb).

If he chose his "old" life, he would've had it all - the glory of being a decorated war veteran, a post as a FAITH member (resuming the role he'd previously gotten thanks to his father), a "Lacus Clyne" for his fiance, and the honor of being the pilot of the Legend (while being something of a "legend" himself). Durandal saw to it Athrun would've seamlessly resumed that life to all external appearances, even if it would've been an absolute sham behind closed doors. Athrun might be a decorated war veteran, but that came with a lot of trauma and grief - trauma from having to fight and kill at such a young age, grief at being the one to survive when those he'd called friends die around him, plus all the unresolved emotional turmoil and grief of having never been able to properly resolve things with his father and his genocidal ideals (because Patrick Zala, too, was a man who never got over his grief at losing Lenore during the Bloody Valentine Incident, and only became the way he did because of that). He might've had a highly coveted position within FAITH, but that power would ultimately be in service to Durandal (a head of state Athrun alternates between wanting to agree with and being directly at odds against). Durandal needed more capable "Yes men" ace pilots like Shinn Asuka to spread and enforce his plans, not people capable of thinking for themselves like Athrun (at least, Athrun got there after Operation Angel Down). The "Lacus Clyne", is, of course, Meer under the best cosmetic surgery money could buy, but she is nothing like Lacus Athrun knows and cares for as a friend and whose cause he had once lent his power to (and would again at the end of the Second War).

And the Legend? It might fit Athrun in name only (in the sense that he's the "legendary pilot who helped end the first Earth-PLANT War) but the entire suit (even if it had an updated OS for the DRAGOON system) doesn't even play to Athrun's core strengths as a pilot. It's almost comedic how Durandal didn't even bother tailoring the Legend to Athrun - the Saviour is more Athrun's style both as a spiritual successor to the Aegis and weapons load out, yet it's coincidental that it would end up in Athrun's hands. There's no way Durandal could've known and planned for the Saviour to go to Athrun, but Durandal arguably had that time with the Legend. In the episode where both the Destiny and Legend are revealed, Durandal made a point of telling Shinn the Destiny was fine tuned to him, but neglects to tell Athrun much about the Legend beyond the DRAGOON system and the updated OS for it (the closest Athrun arguably ever came to a DRAGOON system was flying right past Kira and Rau's duel in front of Genesis at the end of Seed).

On the flip side of that, there's the life Athrun had chosen for himself after the first Earth-PLANT War. It's not an ideal life, not by any means - the fact he's essentially a powerless civilian with no means to reach for his ultimate goal chafes him to no end, especially when there's the ever-looming threat of Cagalli getting taken away from him due to circumstances neither of them want nor are able to deal with. Cagalli can't get out of the arranged marriage, Athrun as "Alex Dino" has no claim to power and as "Athrun Zala" would only invite larger scale international problems - even if Athrun himself has no political ties to PLANT, his family name says plenty. Athrun is patient, yes, but even his patience has a limit, and seemingly losing Cagalli to someone he doesn't respect and she doesn't love (in a reversal of Athrun's situation with Lacus and Kira) pushes him to action out of desperation. And while it puts him at odds with Kira and Cagalli (including lashing out at both of them when Cagalli finally breaks down and gives in and gets coerced into going through with the arranged marriage), it does also get him to realize that he's not the same person he was before the war - he's no longer capable of living that same life he had before, where he would fight where his country tells him because that's the fastest way to end the war. The easy (destined, if you will) option is no longer an acceptable choice for him, because it's not the one that ultimately leaves him fulfilled and truly happy with the one he loves in the end.

And it's this that ultimately brings him back to Cagalli and the (Infinite) Justice, metaphorically reclaiming his sense of justice (ha ha). He's always going to be looking for a cause to serve, and a just cause by his own terms, because he's dedicated far too much of his life serving in the military to just stop doing that and he's spent too much time around Lacus to just mindlessly follow whatever the higher ups say, anymore. So this leaves the only way forward: serve under a head of state whose ideals he can agree with, with the freedom of choice to act according to his own sense of justice, and to that end, there's only one choice for him - return to Orb and Cagalli.

[laeana]

I am totally fine

— says the person who is not fine at all 🥹🥹

[hi-there-buddies]

Never underestimate the power that a mainstream movie has on a franchise because the first Sonic 2 trailer literally got me into Sonic as a whole

[figofswords]

anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already

[blighted-lights]

today on how can i make this about mtmte ravage and megatron, i— (gets shot)

[doll-fac3d]

euuiuuegehh left leg nerve pain essay due in class tomorrow 40 minutes to finish it film project due in class right after also like 40 minutes to finish it oh its sooo over maybe

[accioepiphany]

01. Impossible Germany by Wilco || 02. Port of Call by Beirut || 03. Short and Sweet by Brittany Howard || 04. Into The Red by James Blake ||05. Love Language by SZA || 06. Where's My Love by SYML || 07. Like A Star by Corinne Bailey Rae || 08. Tell Me You Love Me by Sufjan Stevens || 09. Coming Back by James Blake ft. SZA || 10. Couldn't Love You More by John Martyn || 11. Love and Happiness by Al Green || 12. Come Back by Pearl Jam