#im joking please go to therapy

[pewpop]

who the fuck needs therapy when i can just draw myself with my current favourite character as a funky little creature???? I can just do this until im finally normal

[totem-but-shark]

After reading your post on c! Foolish just feeling his powers but not entirely knowing what they were made me think. With his lightning powers, what if his powers were less specifically revival, but more of a defibrillator shocking the heart to life again (mainly joking lol)

I actually hypothesised about totems being "the equivalent of a magical defibrillator" in this post but putting foolishs lightning powers into the mix makes it even more interesting

What if his lighting wasn't a power gained from godhood but a trait from his totem biology? Only turned up to the max considering him being much more powerful as well as larger than the average inanimate totem. Think of the particles when a totem pops, what if that wasn't just excess unknown magic escaping the totem upon cracking but instead SPARKS.

Id like to think there's some level of magic involved but it being connected to electricity grounds it far more in reality and could also explain why totems only work upon death. Totems of undying cannot revive the dead but within a short window of time can bring someone back before their body and mind fully shuts down, just like how you can jumpstart someone's heart. Doing a little more research apparently pulses of energy can be used to stimulate cells to generate new bone tissue and connective tissue encouraging the body's healing process, though this is obviously on a absurdly smaller scale for joint pain and such the concept could still be applied to this fantasy magic lore.

Lighting used to heal, wouldn't that be sick?

[todayisafridaynight]

Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.

i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon

[colaboyxbepis]

Is it just me or am I suddenly feeling depressed and suicidal? Like, idk what happened but I am not doing okay. /gen /srs

Was it the things I said? Am I feeling just really guilty? Am I over-reacting? I think I'm having some sort of lovechild of a panic attack and a mental breakdown. I'm supposed to be sleeping and I'm over here crying and trying to express my feelings on TUMBLR.

Can anyone give any advice on dealing with this? Is this a serious issue? I have tests tomorrow, I need help, and I need it fast. I'm already stressed, I'm still going through puberty so my life is quite a mess, I'm demotivated to do anything and I feel like shit.

I'M SORRY, I SOUND ATTENTION GRABBING, I JSUT NEEDED TO SAYE SOEMTHING SORRYYYYYYY /gen

I CAN'T TRYPE I'M EGYTEING OVERWHELPMED

[jinwoosbabyboo]

"Big Girls Cry Too"

The LADS Men walking in on you having a good cry after bottling everything up and that one bad day at work was the final straw. Look even the baddest bitches cry doesn’t change the fact that mc (all of us) is still the baddest. [Requested by: Anon]

Zayne

Zayne: Are you hurt?

MC: I'm just tired

Zayne: Did you not sleep well last night?

MC: Mentally Zayne im just.....I don't know

Zayne: Talk to me what’s troubling you?

MC: I can’t find the words

Zayne: Well then just say anything I'll piece it together as you go

MC: I just .... I feel so ..... but I can't .. and today was just ..... I don't know

Zayne: You're just overworking yourself to keep your mind off your grandma and Caleb but you want a break however you can't seem to catch one and today was the straw that broke the camels back?

MC: What are you a mind reader?

Zayne: No I'm an MC reader

He would sit with you and hold you in his arms while you were a blubbering mess.

Zayne: I'll stay right here for as long as you need

Rafayel

Rafayel: I told you to stop abandoning me for that place look what its done to you

MC: Not now Raf im tired

Rafayel: I know

MC: So stop making jokes

Rafayel: Do you want to talk about it?

MC: No

Rafayel: Do you want me to leave?

MC: *sniffles* No

Rafayel: Good I wasn’t going to *throws you over his shoulder*

MC: Where are we going?!

Rafayel: For a swim it always makes me feel better

MC: I just want to lay in bed

Rafayel: Trust me a dip in the water with me is like free therapy

MC: ….

Rafayel: You trust me?

MC: I trust you

Rafayel: Good I'll do anything to see those tears stop

MC: You’re too good to me

Rafayel: Next time you need to cry call me … I have two shoulders just for you

Xavier

Xavier: Who upset you?

MC: Everything

Xavier: I can’t fight everything

MC: Why not I’m tired of it all

Xavier: What’s going on?

MC: I just need a good cry from time to time

Xavier: How often is ‘time to time’

MC: …..twice a week

Xavier: Come here

MC: *lays on top of Xavier as he rubs your back*

Xavier: Feeling better?

MC: actually ….. yea …. Is this why you lay on me all the time?

Xavier: You’re like a human battery recharger … my personal charger

MC: Are you sad every time ?

Xavier: Not every time but sometimes

MC: Oh I never noticed

Xavier: That’s because being around you makes me happy

MC: Can I lay here for a while ….. please

Xavier: Will that make you happy?

MC: *sniffles & nods*

Xavier: I’ll be your human body pillow whenever you want

Sylus

Sylus: Are you crying?

MC: *sniffles* no

Sylus: You’re a terrible liar sweetie

MC: I had a tough day at work

Sylus: A tough day at work huh?

MC: ….yea

Sylus: Sweetie it’s okay to cry in front of me I know you’ve been bottling up your emotions

MC: You don’t know anything

Sylus: I know this will help *Starts giving you a scalp massage*

MC: You don’t know if it’s helping …… but don’t stop

Sylus: I didn’t plan to …. come here

Sylus takes a seat on the bed and moves you to straddle his lap. You lay your head on his shoulder while he continues to massage your scalp with one hand and rub your back with the other.

MC: Don’t you have work to do?

Sylus: You are always a top priority princess

[neonacidtrip]

.

[sky-is-the-limit]

Saw you're accepting asks, so I'm sending this instead of going to therapy! A toxic situationship of mine is now love bombing and gaslighting me into getting back together and despite my better judgment, I'm weak and pathetic enough to be seriously considering it. How would the tf141 react? The tf can be platonic and/or unrequited feelings (readers? Cause lord knows im not loveable but thats to be unpackes another day). Sorry, I'm spiraling 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️

How Task Force 141 would react to you considering going back to your toxic situationship:

Captain Price:

John would take a straightforward approach. He’d sit you down with a cup of tea, holding your hand as he tells you, ''You deserve better than this, love. Real men don’t treat women that way.'' He’d remind you of your worth, letting you know that no one with any decency would ever put you through such torment. He’d then mention, almost casually, that he had a word with your situationship earlier when he was about to knock at your door—strongly suggesting the guy won’t be bothering you again if he values his hands.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick:

The poor guy would struggle with his emotions, finding it hard to stay calm. ''Are you serious? After everything he’s done?'' He’d ask, pacing the room in frustration. He’d urge you to see that there are better men out there, men who’d do anything for you, who would kill and die to be with you—men like him. The words would slip out, revealing more than he intended but he’d be too worked up to care about holding back.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish:

He wouldn’t hold back his anger. ''I’ll just take him out, then!'' He’d exclaim, half-joking but serious enough to make you worry. He’d rant about how the world would be better off without that guy, throwing out threats left and right. You’d have to calm him down but his reaction would make it clear just how much he cares about you and how serious he is about keeping you away from someone who doesn’t deserve you. If sweet, easygoing Johnny is this furious, maybe it's time that you listen to him.

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Simon wouldn’t hold back. "Have you lost your damn mind?" He’d ask bluntly, not sugar-coating it. He’d lay it all out, questioning what’s left of your self-worth if you go back to that coward. His words would be rough but they’d come from a place of concern, wanting you to see the reality. He wouldn’t just stop at words, though. Later, he'd find the guy and pin him against the wall, spitting out a dark promise, "If you even think of contacting her again, I’ll send you back to your mother in a casket."

Note: You're not weak or pathetic, you're strong enough to realise that you deserve better. Don't take him back, your feelings are not a charity. Find within you the dignity and self-worth that you posses cause no man has the right to make you feel that way. Please, choose yourself for once. Picture the child you once were, they don't deserve this. One day you will be loved so much that even the though of him will make you repulse, that is, if you even remember him. He's not worth your love, you are.

[spectrumgarden]

it feels like everywhere often im trying to grab onto something and shake it tobreak the barrier between me and others, shake it loose and watch it crumble, hit the glass wall between me nd the world until it breaks. i try it with words but often the more sincere i am, people think i joke. if they understand im sincere, they still often dont understand me, the saame way i dont understand them.

they dont understand my life and often its like "getting to know me" is people understand my interests and then just engage with me through them & i like when they do because it makes sense in some way but it feels like they still dont know me, but i also dont know me.

little bits and pieces.

walk in the waiting room and theres no two spots next to each other and my mother asks in which of the two seperate ones i wanna sit and i freeze, i dont move, i cant, i sit next to her, i dont have strangers on both sides. i sway on my feet. a woman gets up next to one of the empty seats, goes to the other across the room, says here u go, u can sit next to each other. smiles at my mother. i think i know the smile. the smile says here, i hope i make the day a bit easier, its hard with a disabled child. i end up pacing up and down the waiting room 10 minutes later anyways. i hate waiting rooms. they say 5 and its never five and i know its never five but then its past five and i want to jump and run and hide, they said its five.

"does he tolerate treatment?" i rock in the dentist chair. i want to scream but i cant. i want to leave but i try hard so i rock harder. we get food at the bakery downstairs. i only like one thing. i wish i liked more. maybe i like more, but not here, not now, my head says no, only this, only this, only this. my mother asks why i act worse than other doctors visits recently. "all new" cold screen on my fingertips.

all walls are white and all hallways are long and all rooms are square in some way and all doors are the same. now theres stickers on the floor of the workshop. one color bathroom, one color lunch room, one color quiet room. there is paintings and there is a glass door and there is things but all i know is they are there when i see them. sometimes my feet just take me to the right place, and im happy. i figured out how the two doors lead to the same place.

its loud. i get up and walk. i want a place to hide. sit between the cars. plastic creaks. i dont want to get yelled at for breaking. i get up and walk. "please go back" inside head. walk more. legs hurt. sit under a bridge. now its safe. im far away. alone. im happy there was the bridge. under it is good. i nearly went above, full of cars. im happy my body went below. because my body doesnt listen. the sun is bright and the air is cold and my hands freeze. i walk "back" but i dont know where that is. a carer rides up to me on his bike "did you get lost?" i take a step back. /punished. yelled at. send home, parents yell. / but he smiles and backs away. people are nice now, here. i tell him my body just walks, and he nods.

my sister gifts me a plushie. i hug it all morning. my sister always gifts me toys. i like them. she smiles and says "i know you!" and i wonder is plushies and lego who i am? Who am i?

thick plastic covered things the way of medical therapy space. praise for my hands work. sometimes im a good kid, when im better than the others. when they shake and my lines are clean. when they jump and i sit still.

i bite my hands but i dont bleed and they say nothing. my mother looks at the marks later. "did you bite again?" i dont understand why she asks. she can see it.

three or four carers. maybe 8 other teens and adults. down syndrome and ID and autism and others. i wander off and sit under the stairs and hit my head. "dont you want to look at this museum with us? Yes? come with me. stand up. grab your bag. come with me" i swear it sounds sweet to me when she says it. ("hey, are you gonna keep an eye on him in the exhibition?)

words are thrown away or maybe stored in a place i forget about them.

my friends often giggle when i hold my glass with both hands. "its cute, like a kid". i feel shaky. i try hard not to spill. i wonder do they understand what they say.

[blehdsvvds]

Atsushi as your big Brother

A/N: HELLOO ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I POSTED BUT I AM BACK SOBHERE ARE SOME ATSUSHI HEAD CANNONS, SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES

Atsushi

- Bro is actually the sweetie

- the defenition of a good big Brother

- since his life was really tough he would make sure you live the best life

- he doesn't have much but he will spoil you until you are bratty and would still see no wrong in his eyes <33

- ALWAYS CHECKS ON IF YOURE HUNGY

- IF YOU ARE HUNGRY HE WOULD MAKE IT EVERYONES WORRY

- "hey are you hungry?" "Just a bit maybe a light sna-" "OH MY GOD MY LITTLE SIBLING OH GOD NO DONT LET THIS BE, KUNIKDA WE NEED TO GET FOOD ASAP NOW HURRY UP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR LETS GO" he would do this ugly sobbing too

- CONVINCE HIM TO GET THERAPY PLEASE POOR BABY NEEDS IT

- if you are upset he would try cracking some really bad jokes to try and you laugh (he got them from dazai)

- you are probably crying because of whatever and bros over here panicing and saying stuff like "NO DONT CRY MORE, ITS OKAY, WHAT DO YOU CALL A NO EYED DEER??"

- YOU GET TO RIDE ON HIS BACK IN HIS TIGER FORM

- somethimes he might even snuggle up to you as byakko :33

- the type to cry when you get older💔💔

- first day at highschool? Sobbing, your birthday? Bawling, you start doing things without his help? Shedding tears

- would rant to the ADA about it

- "THEY ARE GROWING UP SO MUCH AND IM JUST SO PROUD OF THEM BUT ALSO SAD TO SEE THEM GO" And rambles on about it as dazai is tying a noose and continuing the conversation by saying stuff like "UH HUH" "OH DEAR" "TELL ME MORE" "THAT SOUNDS ROUGH"

- when he is busy or is coming something dangerous he will put you in Kunikdas care

- dazai would offer but atsushi cut him off screamed NO so loud it sent out sound waves into space

- "hey atsushi, I can take care of-" "FUCK NO" *windows shatter, car sirens go off, buildings begin to shake* and would clear his throat and say "no thank you Mr dazai,I appreciate the offer though" in a cheery tone

-OVERALL THE SWEETIE AND THE BEST

[padscomm]

safe place

tara carpenter x f!reader

warnings: grammatical errors, mention of suicides, abusive household and also scream 5+6 au bc why not?!

a/n; IM ALIVE !! I'm so busy, school is shit broo

it was sunday, it meant it was cleaning time. but, you were to focused on studying that you forgot to clean the house.

you checked the time, and you realized, that your father was coming home soon. you panicked, and quickly started cleaning your room.

your father was an abusive alcoholic, it was a suprise. an loving caring man turning into an abusive alcoholic, when your mother died.

he didn't bother going to therapy, instead he started drinking and started doing drugs. when he's tired, he takes his anger out on you, when he's in a bad mood he takes it out on you.

he poured out his anger always at you, you didn't know why. you would always be hiding in the closet, filled with bruises from him. trying to hold your tear's, it was always hard. you've never told anyone about the abusive and toxic household you were in.

you were a joyful person, filled with sunshine but personally, no one ever knew you that well. except for your girlfriend; Tara Carpenter.

you heard the door creaking, you weren't even halfway done cleaning with your room and you still had a few rooms to clean. you were scared, you didn't have a way out.

you decided to hide in the closet, where you always do. you were scared for dear god, you were scared what he will do to you. your tear's streaming down on your face.

you heard a scream, “Y/N!! How come you still didn't clean the house?!” it was filled with anger, your heart is beating fast, you are scared. sweating intensely.

hearing footsteps from the stairs, and through the hallway’s of your bedroom. you prayed to dear god, to not hurt you. “y/n, i know you’re in there.” he say's, opening the door of your bedroom.

you had no way out. you heard him investigating every area.

he opened the closet door, “there you are.” he says, grabbing you from your wrist, tightly. “dad stop please! I'm sorry, I was so carried away—” you didn't have time to speak, he punched you so hard on the face.

that your nose started bleeding, “you really think I'm gonna believe you? you lying son of a fuckin bitch.” you were down on your knees, crying.

The next day

it was a good Monday morning for tara. she was awoken by her sister, sam. she got up from her bed and started making it, then after that she check's her phone if she received a message from you, but sadly she didn't.

it was something off, she chat's you again, asking if you were okay.

· my baby ; hey, are you okay y/n? im worried sick, text me back as soon as you can. hope you're okay mylove! I love you

timeskip at school

“hey guys, have you seen y/n? she hasn't texted me back.” tara said, worried about you. “look's like an overprotective girlfriend is worried about her troublemaker girlfriend.” mindy jokes, tara didn't find her funny, and just glared at her.

“oh there’s y/n!" anika pointed, she ran after her. “she seem's off today, its just not me who thinks she's off today? right?” mindy stated, the others agreed with her. usually, you would hangout with the friend group but this day, you didn't.

you went straight to class, it was unusual for them. you saw anika running towards you, but you decided to walk more faster so she wouldn't catch you.

once you entered inner part of the school, you saw anika not chasing you anymore. you were glad. you had a long oversized hoodie, covering your body and bruises. you went straight to class with the oversized hoodie on you, even tho it was hot as fuck.

after first period, you went to second period. not even bothering to check up on your girlfriend. you were just not in the mood to talk to anyone today. you just wanted peace, and alone time with yourself.

not until second period started, you realized that you and anika were seatmates. you and anika are bestfriends, she worries about you alot.

you sat down to anika, avoiding eye contact with her. “hey y/n, why are you avoiding us?” anika asked, but you didn't answer. anika wasn't really comfortable with your silence, since you were always loud and energetic.

she kept asking you questions but you didn't answer once. second period ended and it was third, you continued to third period with talking to any of your friends or even anyone.

after third, it was lunch break. you didn't have the appetite to eat. so you skipped it, and hid at the rooftop, listening to music peacefully and doing your work.

“y/n didn't talk to me in 2nd period, I don't know why tho, I think something's off about her.” tara looked at anika, “you should go check up on your girlfriend, tar.” liv suggested, but even tara didn't know where you were.

“ill go check up on her at the end of classes.” mindy really thinks tara is a bad girlfriend.

more timeskip

it was time to go home. you didn't go home yet, you were at the rooftop, smoking. it was peaceful, and calming for you. no disturbance.

not until you heard the door open, you put out your cigarette as fast as you can. you saw tara, looking worried sick at you. “y/n, are you okay? you didn't talk to us for the whole day, tell me everything, I'm willing to listen y/n.”

she says, pulling the sleeves of yours “and why are you wearing a jacket it's so—" you quickly took your arm away from her. she saw what she saw, bruises, blood streaming down your arms.

she was in disbelief, “im so sorry tara, i didn't mean to freak you out. I know I'm a bad girlfriend, you can leave me because of my weirdness and my bruises and scars—" she hugged you tightly, “im not gonna leave you y/n. I love you, and that's what matters. can you tell me what happened? it's okay if you're not comfortable.”

you sighed. you needed to tell her the truth, to gain trust. and you did, she was in pure disbelief and shock. she comforted you, and made you more safer.

“i think i should go home, my dad will be mad at me.” you said, but tara didn't let you go. “stay with me for a few days, ill get you help.” those words from tara, was enough to make you tear up.

“dont cry now, baby. stay with me, you'll be more safer.” you didn't care anymore, you wanted to be free with tara.

once tara and you arrived at her house, you were greeted by sam. death staring you, “hey tara, who've you got there?” sam asked, “this is my girlfriend ive been telling you about.” you blushed at her words, she's been talking about you?

“by the way y/n, can you go upstairs. you know my room already.” tara said, she didn't tell sam that you've been sneaking inside their household. “why is there red stuff on her sleeves?” sam was curious. tara explained the whole situation to her.

sam felt bad for you, the two carpenter's will be doing their best getting you help.

after a conversation with sam, tara went up to her room. she saw you, laying down peacefully. “hey let's get you cleaned up, okay?” you nodded, and got up from the bed.

she guides you to her bathroom and sat you down on the sink, she took your hoodie off, and saw all the bruises you had. bruises everywhere, “more bruises down on your legs?” you nodded.

“can i take them off?” she asks for your permission, “go ahead.” she takes of your pants, slowly and lightly. she was shocked with all the bruises that you dad gaved.

“thats alot. let's start with your wrists.” she wiped off all the blood, until there was no more flowing. and rolls the comforting bandage around your arms.

working one by one on the bruises, she stayed up just to get you cleaned.

at the end of the day, it was the two of you lying in bed. “i love you so much, tara.” you said, burying your face onto her neck.

“i always love you more, my love. soon your dad will be in prison.” she reassure's you, and before going to sleep, she kissed you forehead lightly, and kissed you lips passionately.

“tara, what if attempted suicide one day?” you said, out of the blue. it was a suprise, “of course my life will be empty. i cannot live without you. i love you more than everything, if you have a problem, come talk to me okay?” you smiled at her.

she was tired already, “im going to sleep na. im so tired, mahal.”

“goodnight my beautiful, beautiful girlfriend! i love you.”

“goodnight tara, i love you too. sweet dreams.”

“thank you for taking care of me.” you mumbled, “your welcome.

a/n; this is shit

[cinnaleaf]

ESSENCE OF US - CH 16: TIME WILL TELL

Please read responsibly. This fic will get hot and heavy as the story progresses, 18+ only MDNI | CH 15 | MASTERLIST | CH 17 (soon)

summary: a fleeting encounter with a mysterious Trent leaves you wondering if fate is playing a bigger match. your paths continue to cross in unexpected places as the fragrances around you mirror the growing tension between you. maybe it's just a coincidence..or maybe its destiny in the making.

warnings: angst, fluff, language, therapy representation, mentions of mental health, scenes inspired by serendipity the movie, writer/reader inside joke wc: ~11.9k (sorry) 💌: idk how slot got in here but im rocking with it song inspo: The Sun x KYLE ft. Bryson Tiller & Raphael Saadiq

The first year after your break up with Trent went just how you would expect it to go – terribly.

It felt like trying to unspool a stubborn thread that wouldn’t come undone. The breakup coupled with Les Notes d’Amour no longer existing due to sabotage and betrayal left you feeling emptier than ever. You spent weeks replaying the sequence of events trying to pinpoint the exact moment your dreams turned into ash. Ember was nothing more than a pawn for Aaron’s game. She became a vehicle for him to drive his petty vendetta into the heart of your life. Her misguided attempts at gaining his approval quickly backfired and left her a jobless criminal. 

Tara on the other hand, was nothing more than a girl who loved a gossiping yap session, though she was more careless than malicious. None of it mattered anymore though. You already lost everything, including the one person who may have been able to help you navigate it all. You figured it would be easier to cut ties in order to protect him from the wreckage you became. 

The tears came first – there were enough of them that you were genuinely surprised you were somehow still hydrated. They started off as silent tears that soaked into the plush folds of your pillow at night, but then they turned into loud ones that made your chest heave in the shower when no one else was around. You thought the tears would stop as time went on, but they never really did. Instead, they settled into an ache that you became used to. 

The first few months of the year were spent in bed, trapped between the walls of your apartment while the rest of the world passed by. Your days blurred together into one endless loop of doom scrolling, ignoring calls, and deleting messages. Trent’s messages came frequently at first. He went back to the simple texts he used to send when you first started dating, but each notification alert struck you like lightning.

I miss you.

Talk to me Y/N. Please.

I don’t understand why you’re shutting me out.

I love you. I always will.

You couldn’t bring yourself to open any of them, or even read the previews for long. If you let the words sink in for too long, you knew you’d let the warm cadence of his voice play in your head…and you knew you would cave. You couldn’t afford to cave. 

So you blocked him – his number, social media, email, everything.

You thought that would be the end of it, but then an account by the name of ‘scentimental’ followed you. You wanted to relock your account after your break up but never got around to it. The instagram follow made you take a second glance, almost as if your intuition knew something you couldn’t quite place just yet. You weren’t in the mood to entertain any random accounts, but you tapped on the profile anyway. It had one post featuring a blurry picture of a perfume bottle on a window sill with a caption:

Some things don’t fade, no matter how hard you try.

You stared at it for a long time as your finger hovered over the profile. The bio was empty, the follower list was suspiciously small, and the account only followed you and a few random fan accounts. You immediately received a DM, sensing that same magnetic feeling you always felt with Trent. That feeling was something you missed, so you opened the DM, chasing the feeling one last time.

Hey, Y/N. Love your work! I saw something that reminded me of you the other day. You’ve been really quiet lately. Wondered if you were still out there making the world smell better?

The messages were vague, but not vague enough for you not to peep what was going on based on the phrasing and timing. This wasn’t a random account at all; it was Trent’s burner account. You stared at the messages for a while, hovering your finger over the block button.

“Seriously?” you muttered while shaking your head. He couldn’t possibly believe you wouldn’t notice, the man wasn’t subtle at all. He could have at least followed a few more accounts and pretended a little better, but it was clear he would do anything to get even a small snippet into your life now that you had locked him out. You let out a deep sigh, pressing the block button without bothering to send a reply as you tossed your phone on the bed. 

As more months went by, the twins had become your lifeline to the outside world. Ezzie made it her personal mission to pull you out of the pit you sunk into. One day, she showed up with her hands full of groceries as the sound of the door opening broke through the silence of your apartment. She didn’t bother knocking anymore because she knew you wouldn’t answer.

The soles of her trainers stamped against the hardwood floors as she cut through the silence with her voice. “You should really start locking the door properly. What if it wasn’t me? What if I was some random person here to steal all your stuff and murder you?”

Your body was buried underneath a weighted blanket and you didn’t bother looking up. “They would be doing me a favor honestly. I don’t care anymore.”

Ezzie set the bags down on the kitchen counter with a huff, scrunching her face up in frustration. “You’re really dramatic. Just lock the door, okay?” You let out an irritated sigh as she started unpacking groceries filled with ready meals, snacks, and fresh fruit. She knew you probably wouldn’t eat any of it, but she bought it anyway – every week.

“You really shouldn’t spend your money on me” you mumbled as your voice muffled through the thick layers of the weighted blanket you were huddled under.

“I shouldn’t have to, but here we are. Someone has to take care of you if you won’t.” She rolled her eyes, leaning against the counter while crossing her arms. “I should charge you an inconvenience fee. Do you know how hard it is to carry all of this every week? I hate manual labor.”

“Maybe you should’ve stayed home then.” you shot back very weakly.

“And let you rot in here?” she quipped. “No way. Ziggy would’ve sent me up here anyway. He’s downstairs by the way. He didn’t want to deal with your sulking today.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“You’re literally sulking right now.” She motioned toward you huddled underneath the blanket, toying with the remote because the episode of Grey’s Anatomy you were watching had just ended in Derek’s death. That episode usually made you cry, but all you could do this time was shake your head and change the show to something else just as equally depressing. 

“Before you tell me to leave, I’m not. I don’t want to hear your ‘woe is me’ speech. I brought snacks and I’m staying until you eat something that’s not depression air.”

You peeked out from under the blanket, squinting at her like you were seeing daylight for the first time in weeks. “I don’t need you to babysit me, E.”

“Umm. Clearly, you do.” She walked over to the couch, plopping down next to you. “You’re acting like life ended when Love Notes burned down. I get it was really bad and you’re torn up about it, but you’re still alive Y/N. You have people that care about you. You can’t just give up like this.” Your sister’s voice softened at the end. She wouldn’t say it outright, but this was a lot worse than last time and your behaviour scared her.

“You don’t get it” you muttered, pulling the blanket back over your head. 

“No. I definitely don’t” she admitted frustratingly. “You can’t keep hiding from the world. It’s not a healthy way to cope.”

You sighed and pushed the blanket off as you sat up. “What do you want me to do then, Ezzie? Pretend everything is fine when it’s not? My career is gone, my shop is gone. Trent’s gone. Everything I’ve ever cared about is just...gone.”

Ezzie frowned. “Trent is not gone. You pushed him away.. there’s a difference. Love Notes may be gone, but that doesn’t mean your career is. You’re acting like this is the end of your story when it’s not. You can still keep going and rebuild something.”

“No. I don’t want to rebuild.” you snapped as your voice cracked. “I’m tired. I’m really so fucking tired.”

Ezzie pouted her lip and reached out to give you a hug. “But you can’t stay here forever. I won’t let you.”

Before you could respond, the sound of footsteps echoed from the hall and Ziggy appeared in the doorway with an unreadable expression. “Can I come in or is this intervention for girls only?” he asked dryly.

Ezzie rolled her eyes. “Come in. Maybe you can knock some sense into her.”

Ziggy walked over and dropped a bag in front of you. “Brought some food,” he said casually. “I thought maybe you would eat it if it was something you like.”

You looked at the bag, shaking your head as your stomach knotted. “I’m not hungry but thank you.”

Ziggy gave a disapproving look but didn’t push it. He sat on the floor next to the couch, sprawling his long legs out in front of him. It seemed like he had the growth spurt of a lifetime as soon as he started academy. He took his hoodie off, revealing the Liverpool emblem stitched on the corner. You froze as you eyed the crest – it sent a pang straight through your heart. You looked away, pretending to adjust your blanket, but in reality, you wanted to cry. You hated that something so simple made you feel this way, but it did. 

Ziggy was on his phone, rapidly tapping his fingers to fill in the awkward silence. “You know…” he started casually, not looking up. “Trent asks about you.”

His name made you stiffen instantly as your hands clenched the blanket. “Ziggy..”

“What?” he asked innocently, as if he didn’t just bring up the person’s name you were desperately trying to avoid. “Just saying he’s concerned. He’s not doing so well either.”

“Ziggy. Stop.” Ezzie said, leaning over to grab his hoodie. She flipped it over so that the emblem was hidden, then she shot him a death glare. “Don’t bring him up right now.”

“I’m not bringing him up” Ziggy voiced defensively. “I’m just saying he cares. He asks how she’s doing every time I see him. That’s all.”

You exhaled, feeling extremely guilty about how you ended things with Trent. “You don’t have to tell him anything. He’ll get over it eventually.”

“Yeah, I know. But he’s really persistent. I don’t think he’s doing it to be annoying. He just really –”

“Isaac.” Ezzie cut in, so irritated that she used his legal name. “Let. It. Go.”

He sighed, scratching his head. “Okay! Damn. I’ll drop it.”

The room went silent aside from the chatter coming from the tv and the sound of Ezzie unloading groceries in the kitchen. Ziggy picked at a loose thread on his joggers as he glanced up at you before quickly looking away. “It’s hard to see you like this Y/N. You don’t even leave from here.”

“I do leave. Sometimes.” you retorted. 

Ziggy arched his brow, not buying your statement at all. “When? When do you leave? Because you’ve been in the same spot every time I come over here. And I’m here a lot.”

You slumped further into the couch, rolling your eyes. “I go places. I don’t need to announce when I go somewhere. I’m not a child.”

“Yeah? Where did you go last?” he challenged, putting his phone back in his pocket.

You opened your mouth, but the brain fog had gotten to you so bad that you couldn’t think of something plausible quick enough. “The shop down the street” you muttered, not sounding convincing at all.

Ezzie popped her head out from the kitchen with a box of cereal in her hand. “She’s lying. I have her location on and the little circle never moves from here. She doesn’t even check for mail.... I do.”

You let out an irked sigh. “Okay. I don’t leave that often. Happy now?”

“No.” Ziggy replied flatly. He gestured toward the untouched takeaway bag. “And you don’t eat either. Y/N you look...bad. Like a sad Victorian child. You need to eat something.”

“Wow. Thanks.” You glared at him, taking all offense. 

Ezzie walked over setting water in front of you. “He’s trying to say we’re worried about you...but in his own way.” she said gently, pointing toward the takeaway. “Maybe just take a bite? At least try it…”

You stared at the bag. You wanted to eat, but your brain wasn’t connecting to any of your hunger or thirst receptors and you just felt numb the majority of the time. The thought of eating anything besides crisps here and there made your stomach churn.

“I’m not hungry.” you repeated the same as earlier.

Ziggy threw his head back, groaning dramatically. “Y/N come on. We’re not leaving until you eat something. I got pad thai.”

You sighed, pulling the bag towards you. The smell of the food was comforting, although you still weren’t all that hungry. You grabbed the container of pad thai and pulled the lid off. Ziggy and Ezzie eyed each other as you took a bite, doing the twin telepathy thing they always did since they were little.

“See? Not so bad, right?” They spoke in unison eerily. 

Them speaking in unison always freaked you out a bit and you found yourself frowning while lazily chewing a mouthful of noodles. “It’s really creepy when you both do that...but the pad thai is fine. Thanks.”

After an unplanned but filling dinner, Ziggy tilted his head, watching you carefully as you wrapped your blanket around yourself again. “What’s your game plan?”

“My game plan for what?”

“To get better,” he said simply. “You can’t stay like this.”

You recently scheduled an appointment for a therapy session, but no one else knew besides Camille. You fidgeted with the edge of your blanket and sighed, finally admitting you were at least trying to be better. “I have an appointment with a therapist in a few weeks.”

Ezzie’s face lit up with excitement. “Really?!”

Ziggy looked skeptical and eyed you to see if you were telling the truth. “Forreal? You’re actually gonna go?”

You glanced between the two of them. They were 17 now, and the tables had flipped. Instead of you trying to take care of them – they were taking care of you like you were their kid, and it made your heart hurt. It wasn’t fair to them and you knew it.

“Yes Ziggy.” you replied in annoyance. “It’s just one session so don’t get too excited. But I’ll see where it goes.”

“That’s just the first step,” Ezzie smiled softly. “I’m proud of you.”

Ziggy nodded, agreeing with his twin but he tried to play it cool. “Yeah, same. Just don’t cancel. Gotta see it through.”

You sighed, scrolling through your phone while cuddled into your blanket. “I’m not going to cancel. Promise.”

The day of your appointment, Camille’s car glided through morning traffic while soft R&B played in the background.

“Nervous?” she asked, glancing over at you from behind her Loewe sunglasses. You were staring out the window, nibbling on your fingernails as the buildings blurred past you.

“No. Not really.” you lied, feeling your stomach knot together.

Camille knew you better than that and was skeptical, but not pushy. “Dr. Ali is good...like really good. She won’t sit there and make vague comments like ‘How does that make you feel?’ She’ll push you but not in a break you down type of way. She’ll build you up with what’s already there.”

You arched your brow up, pulling your gaze from the window. “How do you know so much about her?”

Camille smirked. “I do my research, babe. Never underestimate my sleuthing skills. You think I’d let my bestie walk into a dodgy therapist’s office? Not a chance. Dr. Ali went to Harvard, has years of experience and will probably be able to read you with just one look.”

“That sounds terrifying actually.”

“She’s not terrifying” Camille replied, making a sharp turn that made your body tilt a little. “She’s just real. You honestly need someone like that. I can only do so much. Just let her help you..even if it’s just to unload.”

You felt a pang in your chest and tugged at the hem of your jumper. “Maybe..”

The car pulled into a building with glass windows that reflected against the bright morning sun. Camille turned off the car and turned to you. “I’ll wait here. If you go in and decide you hate it, that’s fine. But at least try first.”

You nodded, swallowing hard as you stepped out the car with your emotional support water bottle, clutching it in your hand as you entered the building.

The waiting area was pretty minimalist and didn’t have anything that was overstimulating. There were a few plants scattered around to add greenery to the muted calming space. You checked in at the desk and sat down, fidgeting in the chair as you waited for your name to be called.

“Y/N?” a soft voice called out.

You looked up and saw a woman who looked like she was in her early 40s standing at the door. She had warm brown skin, curly medium length hair and wore trousers paired with a tailored blazer. You were imagining some old, decrepit lady, but this woman seemed very approachable from the start.

“I’m Dr. Ali” she said with a welcoming smile. “Come on in.”

You followed her into her office, which was just as inviting and warm as the waiting room. Her office had a large window that let in natural lighting, shelves lined with trinkets and books, and plush seating that could make anyone feel comfortable. As you sat down, she settled in the chair across from you.

“So, Y/N. Tell me what brings you here today.”

You didn’t know where to begin as you searched for an answer. “Umm....I guess....everything?” you said in a weak voice.

Dr. Ali nodded. “That’s okay. We can take it one piece at a time. Start with whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You sighed, taking a drink of water from your water bottle, though you weren’t really thirsty. You were carrying the water bottle around more as a coping mechanism than anything. “I really don’t know where to start. My relationship ended, my career went up in flames..literally. And my family…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “Everything just feels fucked up and broken.”

Dr. Ali’s expression didn’t change, but she eyed you with calmness in her eyes. “Sounds like a lot of loss,” she said gently. “What was your relationship like?”

“Good. Really good for the most part, actually. His name is Trent. He’s a footballer. You’ve probably heard of him before.”

She didn’t confirm or deny, instead gesturing for you to continue.

“He’s amazing,” you admitted quietly. “He was always supportive and everything I wanted a boyfriend to be. But being with him meant attention. People started lots of rumours and just spewed utter nonsense. And when my shop burned down because of someone I thought I could trust…it felt like too much. It felt like I would just be dragging him into my mess.”

Dr. Ali leaned forward, keeping a curious but non judgemental tone. “So you let him go to protect him?”

You nodded, staring at your hands. “It felt like the right thing to do at the time. But now I really don’t know. I don’t know who I am anymore, honestly. I feel really lost.”

“What about your family? You mentioned them earlier.”

You laughed dryly, no humour laced within. “Well that’s super complicated” you muttered. “My parents are more focused on appearances than the people behind them. They only care about me being the perfect daughter so they can parade me around for their own gain. They don’t really know me. They don’t even know my favorite color and it’s right in front of their face.”

Dr. Ali tilted her head with a calming expression that invited you to continue. “That’s a heavy burden to carry. Do you think that influenced how you approach things in life?”

You nodded, feeling a lump in your throat as you swallowed. “It’s not just me though. My brother and sister feel it too. They’re twins..only 17 but my parents are the same with them. They pretty much treat us like trophies waiting to be displayed. And I have to make sure they don’t end up like me.”

Dr. Ali quickly wrote something down before she spoke again. “So you feel responsible for protecting them too?”

“I’ve been responsible for them since they were born” Your voice cracked. “My parents cared more about grades and achievement. The love and support was all on me. I helped them with their homework and packed their lunches most times. Sometimes it feels like I’m more of a parent than a big sister.”

The therapist kept her eye on you and the silence encouraged you to open up more. This woman was good as hell and you had barely been in there for 10 minutes.

“Now it’s like the roles are flipped” you continued, fiddling with the opening of your water bottle. “Since my shop burned down they’ve been taking care of me. Ziggy brings me food and makes sure I haven’t died off somewhere. Ezzie tries to get me out of bed or make me laugh. It’s like they took everything I taught them and turned it back on me.”

“That sounds like a testament to how much you mean to them. But I can see how it feels strange to have the roles reversed. Especially when you’ve never experienced those roles from your parents before.”

You felt tears begin to sting and fill your lash line as your throat tightened. “It does and I hate it. I hate that they feel like they have to take care of me because I can’t take care of myself right now. I should be the one doing that for them..not the other way around.”

“What about your parents?” Dr. Ali asked gently.

You let out a sharp exhale feeling bitterness rise within you. “They don’t give a fuck. They only call when they want something or to ask about Trent. My mum’s never even met him but was so interested because of who he is. Being with him validated me in their eyes and now that I broke up with him and have nothing they can capitalize on I’m back to being the invisible daughter. I’m only worth something if I make them look good.”

Dr. Ali made another note, keeping her voice steady and calm as she spoke. “It sounds like you spent a long time trying to fill a role they created for you. Have you ever been allowed to figure out who you are outside of that role?”

Her question made you freeze and you thought about it for a second, but you couldn’t answer. Dr. Ali’s question was forcing you to confront something you really never allowed yourself to think about.

“I don’t know,” you whispered finally. “I don’t think I have.”

For the rest of the session, you talked about the destruction of Les Notes d’Amour and how it left you feeling like you lost a piece of yourself. You also talked about Trent and how letting him go was the hardest thing you ever did. When the session ended, Dr. Ali walked you out and gave you reassurance.

“Healing isn’t linear Y/N” she said as you reached the door. “But you’re here and that’s a good start.”

Camille glanced at you as you sat in the passenger seat of her car. “Well?”

You leaned back with a deep exhale. “She’s good.”

“Told you” Camille smirked, starting the car. “So you’re going back?”

You nodded, giving her a small smile back. “Yeah. I think I will.”

For Trent, the first year without you was just as brutal. Trent didn’t expect the breakup to hit him so hard, but it did. At first he thought he could push through the pain by burying himself in training, matches, partying, or anything else to avoid the emptiness he felt in his heart without you – but it never worked. Everywhere he turned, you were there. He could see you in the way Ziggy smiled. Sometimes he would hear someone laugh and the faint sounds of your laugh would come resurfacing back to his memory. He heard your name in the most unexpected places. He felt you in the soft floral notes of Enchantée – your very first creation and his mother’s favorite perfume that filled the air whenever she hugged him. 

You were in the bed he couldn’t sleep in anymore due the void of warmth from where you used to lay. When he did sleep, he would reach out for you out of instinct at night, only to be met with cold sheets instead of the softness and warmth of your skin.

He tried everything to feel close to you again. His texts went unanswered, his calls you never picked up. He sent thoughtful gifts but they always came back marked Return to Sender. On Instagram, he still had your profile saved under his recent searches. He knew your posts by heart because it was the only connection he had to you outside of Ziggy. When you blocked him there, it felt like he had been punched in the gut, but he didn’t give up. He created a burner account – scentimental – a little nod to what brought the two of you together. He thought he was subtle enough leaving a simple message, but you preed it immediately and blocked him there too. He logged in a week later and saw the dreaded User Not Found when he tried to search your profile again.

“How did she even know it was me? Is she psychic or something?” he muttered to himself, staring at the screen in frustration. He threw his phone on the couch and sank into it, covering his face with his hands. He spent the majority of the year chasing after someone who felt like a ghost, knowing he would never catch up.

That night, Trent found himself slouching on the couch, trying to distract himself with the latest season of Love Island. It wasn’t really the same binge watching it without you. You always made watching it more fun from your commentary. He loved that you mocked the drama, laughed at the crazy flirting, or yelled at the screen whenever someone made a questionable decision.

On the screen, an islander named Cassie was crying in the corner of the villa while a boy named Logan was pacing in front of her, furious.

“So you’re just gonna do this now after everything? You’re pulling the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ card?” Logan shouted with his overly groomed brows arched in frustration. “That’s real fucking cliche. Play it up for the cameras, yeah?”

“I just need time!” Cassie wailed with mascara running down her cheeks. The girl looked a hot mess, honestly. “I can’t give you what you want if I don’t know who I am right now!”

Trent tilted his head at the tv in disbelief. He shoved a handful of crisps into his mouth to keep from yelling at the screen. Logan groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “You said you cared about me Cassie. It was all bullshit?”

“I DO care about you but I need space!” Cassie countered, breaking into another sobbing spell.

Trent grabbed the remote to turn the volume up. He could hear it just fine, but the parallels were striking and felt eerily familiar. The universe was funny in that way. He leaned forward, staring at the screen like it was going to give him the solution to his real life problem.

“Fucking hell” he muttered as Logan stormed out of frame. The scene then shifted to a confessional where Cassie started sobbing about how much she wanted it to work but needed to protect her peace first.

“Protect her peace?” Trent repeated out loud to no one in a sarcastic tone. “What the fuck does that even mean?” He turned the volume back down, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t bear to hear it anymore when it felt so eerily similar to what happened the night you broke up with him. “This is fucking stupid. I hate this show. Cassie’s a fucking producer plant, no shot this isn’t scripted.”

A few weeks later, disappointed chatter from the crowd was heard at Anfield after a terrible match. Trent was bent over with his hands resting on his knees. He was exhausted more than usual. Sweat dripped down his face, mixed with tears that weren’t quite visible to the naked eye. The score was 1-2, mirroring a devastating loss. Trent misplaced a pass during the last crucial minutes of the game, basically handing over a winning goal to the rival team. He walked off the pitch, avoiding eye contact with everyone else as he made his way down the tunnel. Slot was waiting near the changing room with his arms folded.

“Trent!” Slot called out in a sharp tone. “Need to talk. Now.”

Slot stood off to the side, piercing his gaze on Trent. “What the hell was that out there?” It was clear Slot was frustrated with Trent’s performance.

Trent shifted around uncomfortably. “It was a mistake. It happens.”

“A mistake?” Slot repeated in disbelief. “This hasn’t been a one time thing Trent. It’s been going on for weeks. Your focus is shit out there, your passes are sloppy as fuck and your energy is damn near nonexistent. You think you’re on holiday or something? People are starting to notice. You’re supposed to be a leader on this team and you’re not acting like it.”

“I’m trying,” Trent muttered with a tight jaw.

“Not good enough,” Slot snapped, stepping closer. “I can’t afford to put someone on the pitch who’s not mentally there. Pull your weight. Whatever you have going on in your personal life needs to be sorted out. Because if this continues, you’re going to find yourself benched. I didn’t plan on bringing Ziggy on this early, but the kid’s good at multiple positions. I’ll put him in your spot if you don’t fix it.”

The thought of being benched and replaced with Ziggy while he watched from afar made his stomach knot. He nodded stiffly. “Understood. I’ll fix it.”

Slot patted Trent on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “You’re a great player Trent. But you need to think about what brought you here. For your own sake and the team’s.”

When Trent walked into the changing room, the usual post match banter was replaced with mostly silence. Trent sat down, staring at the floor while still in his kit. He felt a familiar presence and looked up to see Mo standing in front of him with his arms crossed in concern.

“You alright, brother?” Mo asked, low enough so no one else could hear.

“Nah. Not really.” Trent admitted with a heavy sigh. Mo sat down next to him, concern still etched on his face.

“What’s going on? You’re not yourself.”

Trent debated brushing Mo off, but the deep concern in Mo's eyes made him decide against it. “It’s a lot. The games, pressure...personal stuff. Don’t even know where to start.”

Mo nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe you should talk to someone. I’m not going to get all up in your business but it could help if you talk to someone professionally.”

“Like who?” Trent asked, frowning. “A therapist or something?”

“Yeah” Mo said, shrugging. “No shame in it. Everyone’s been there. Another perspective could help you get out of your own head..”

Trent leaned back against the wall with his legs stretched out in a manspread. “Nah..I don’t know about that. Feels like I’m admitting I’m weak.”

Mo chuckled lightly. “It’s not. I can give you a contact. She’s a family friend – Dr. Ali. She’s very good.”

Trent stared at Mo, weighing the suggestion. “You think it’ll help?”

“Inshallah. It’s worth a shot. You never know.”

Mo gave Dr. Ali’s contact details to Trent discreetly. Trent saved the number, staring at it before he put his phone back up in his bag. It could be the first step to getting back to where he needed to be.

Or at least figure out where the hell he went wrong.

When Trent arrived at therapy, he expected something a lot more clinical and overly sterile, but Dr. Ali’s office wasn’t any of that. There were no blaring fluorescent lights making his eyes hurt or making him feel like he was being interrogated like a prisoner. She had a diffuser that filled the therapy room with a lavender scent. It would usually be comforting, but it made him uncomfortable because it reminded him of you.

“Trent” Dr. Ali greeted in a professional tone, extending her hand. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Trent wasn’t sure if comfort was an option given how he’d been feeling lately, but he nodded and sat in the chair, leaned back enough to look relaxed but not like he wanted to be there any longer than he had to. The therapist watched him carefully, waiting to see what he would do next. She wasn’t in any rush, and it threw him off.

“Ever been to therapy?” she finally asked while sitting in the seat across from him.

Dr. Ali’s lips quirked, but not in a patronizing way. “Fair enough. The first time isn’t easy for most, but no pressure. Start with whatever you want to. Or we can just talk and get to know each other.”

Trent’s knees bounced restlessly while he sat, shifting around nervously. He couldn’t believe Mo had somehow talked him into this. He felt a bit stupid to try therapy. In his mind, it was too formal for what he was going through. He felt like he overreacted by even showing up to the place at all.

“Not sure what to say really. Feels pointless.” he muttered while frowning.

“You’re not the only one who says that. It can feel like that at first. But you’re here and that’s something.”

Trent’s jaw clenched as he looked up at her. “Yeah? So what’s it mean then?”

“That you want things to be different.”

He huffed and looked away, knee bouncing harder. “Maybe but I don’t know. My mate, Mo, gave me your contact. Said you were really good or something.”

Dr. Ali hummed softly. “Mo Salah, right?”

“Yeah..he said I should talk to someone.” Trent tugged at the string on his joggers, feeling exposed all of a sudden.

“And why do you think he said that?” she asked.

Trent exhaled. “Because I’ve been playing like shit on the pitch. I haven’t been right since…” He trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Since??” Dr. Ali prompted him to continue, gentle with her tone.

“Since my ex. Y/N.”

Dr. Ali paused her pen over her notebook before jotting down a note. “Tell me about her and your relationship.”

Trent’s throat suddenly went dry. He rubbed his hand down his face, staring at an area on the floor. “I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s smart...but stubborn as hell. She ran a shop called Les Notes d’Amour and made fragrances. It was her dream.”

“So you met her through her work?” Dr. Ali asked.

“Nah...well..sort of. We kept running into each other like it was serendipity or whatever. It sounds mad but that’s what it felt like. We met on a train, then at some café, and again at her friend’s launch. Next thing I knew I was walking into her shop asking for a custom scent. After that I was done for.”

Trent smiled faintly but then it disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. “Her shop burned down because of her ex and an assistant. Then everything fell apart from there.”

“And you blame yourself for that?”

Trent’s head shot up. “No but at the same time, yes. I promised I’d protect her and I don’t feel like I did a good job of doing that. Feels like I could’ve done more, y’know? It’s been a year and I still think about her every day.”

“And thinking about her everyday...what does that look like for you?”

Trent looked at his hands. “It’s stupid stuff. I’ll hear someone that has her name on tv and my heart sinks for a second. My mum wears this perfume Y/N made. It’s called Enchantée and every time I smell it, I think about Y/N. I see her brother in training every day and I want to ask about her, but I can’t anymore because I know he’s trying to protect her.”

Trent went quiet for a while but then he continued. “And then at night..I’m always reaching for her and she’s not there. It sucks because I’ve tried to reach out and it’s gone nowhere.”

“What happens when you try to reach out to her?”

Trent laughed bitterly. “I’m blocked everywhere. I made a burner Instagram account just to check her page. I thought I was incognito and sent a simple message but she blocked me there too. Don’t even know how she figured out it was me behind it.”

Dr. Ali lifted a brow. “Why did you send that message?”

Trent scratched his head, embarrassed. “I just wanted to see how she was doing. We went from talking everyday to nothing. Feels like quitting something cold turkey and I hate that. It’s like I lost her forever.”

“What do you think stops her from contacting you?”

Trent shrugged in frustration. “I guess she didn’t want to drag me down with her but I didn’t see it that way. I would help her through anything..even now I still would.”

The therapist’s pen tapped against her notebook as she watched Trent. “You carry a lot of unresolved feelings about your breakup with her. And a lot of guilt too.” Trent didn’t respond and bounced his knee more.

“Let’s switch gears and talk about football for a minute. How’s that been going?”

Trent scoffed and shook his head. “Going like shit. I can’t focus at all. I replay every mistake in my head and I can’t let it go. I’m letting everyone down.”

“What happens when you make a mistake on the pitch?” she asked in a curious tone.

“I think about it for the rest of the game. Then it just spirals and one mistake turns into a lot more. I can’t get my head back in it and it used to be my escape.”

Dr. Ali leaned forward. “In therapy, I typically teach people how to break those cycles. We can’t change the past, but...we can change how we react to it and replace those thought patterns with healthier ones.”

“So what? You’re saying I need to let go?”

“I’m saying I can help you understand and process those feelings” she corrected in a soft manner.

Trent leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms. “I still don’t know if this therapy thing is for me.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to decide today.” she said with a smile. “We’ll work on it and see where it goes.”

“Yeah. Okay, sure.” he nodded with uncertainty, but felt less resistant than before.

“Same time next week?” she asked.

Trent stared at the floor longer than he needed to, and then sighed before nodding. “Yeah..same time.”

The second year without Trent wasn’t as bad as the first. You weren’t fixed, but you weren’t broken down either. Therapy helped you alot, and you began to move forward, even if it was just little baby steps. You had a new house, a new routine, and a new normal.

When you started packing your apartment up for the move to Manchester, it felt bittersweet. It was painful, but necessary. The last room you packed was your bedroom. Ezzie and Ziggy helped in their own way, which barely involved any packing. Ziggy was sprawled across your bed scrolling through his phone while Ezzie sat on the floor putting clothes into a box you tossed her way.

“Are you gonna miss living here?” Ezzie asked, looking up at you.

“Maybe a little..but it’s time” you said in a low voice, crouching down to pull out the drawer in your vanity. You reached behind it to make sure you weren’t leaving anything behind, and you felt something hard against your fingers. You tugged at it, revealing your old and dusty perfume diary. The diary had all of your old formula notes and ideas in it. You sat on the floor, staring at the cover like you had just seen a ghost.

“What’s that?” Ziggy asked, giving a quick glance and then going back to his phone.

“Nothing” you answered quickly, flipping it open. It wasn’t nothing. The pages still smelled like bergamot as you flipped through. You landed on a page that had Trent’s handwriting on it. It wasn’t something you saw before, and it made you take a second glance.

I want you for as long as the stars shine.

You scoffed, laughing before you could stop.

“What?” Ezzie looked at you, curiously.

“Nothing. Just a reminder of how stupid I am.” You snapped the notebook shut and tossed it to the nearest box. Ezzie stared at you, but then she decided to let it go.

Ziggy still had his face in his phone but suddenly spoke up with perfect timing. “Trent’s still with his new girl by the way. Alannah.”

“I don’t think I asked.”

“Yeah but I’m telling you.” He flipped onto his back with a groan, his muscles still sore from training. “She’s leng but boring as fuck.” Ziggy propped his phone on his chest, trying not to laugh while he continued to spill the tea. “Forreal though. She’s got no aura. She’s fit, yeah, but she reminds me of mum’s chicken.”

You raised your brow, trying to hold in your laugh. “Mum’s chicken??”

“Dry. No flavor.” Ziggy emphasized, motioning like he was trying to season a chicken breast with something other than salt and pepper. “She’s fucking weird too. She won’t drink water unless it’s a certain temperature and she swirls it first like she’s in the movie ‘Get Out’ or something.” He mimicked her, twirling his fingers in an invisible glass. “Then she won’t sip it unless there’s a straw.”

Ezzie cackled loudly from across the room. “Shut up! You’re lying.”

“Swear down!” Ziggy held up his hand, completely serious. “Watched her do it at a team dinner and Trent just sat there like it was normal. Like bro..say something. Blink twice if you’re in the sunken place.”

You pursed your lips together, trying not to burst out laughing. “And what does she look like?”

Ziggy shrugged, dramatically. “Exactly like you would expect. She looks like a walking Lululemon advert.” 

Ezzie snorted, tossing a pair of jeans in a box. “So she looks like every beige aesthetic girl on Tiktok then?”

“Yeah! Exactly that!” Ziggy pointed at his twin like she cracked a code in his mind.

“Leng, but boring beige girl who swirls her water while wearing Lululemon, huh?” you snickered while shaking your head. “Perfect match if that’s what he wants.”

Ziggy scoffed, sitting up. “Nah, he looks miserable. I asked him about her and guess what he said?”

“What did he say?”

“He said.. she’s nice.” Ziggy mimicked Trent’s voice, void of any enthusiasm. “Not she’s amazing or that’s the girl of my dreams. Just.. nice.”

A tiny smile cracked through your expression, but then it left. Dry chicken or not, she was there and you weren’t. Ziggy noticed your shift and he stopped teasing. He scratched his jaw, briefly stroking the facial hair that had grown on his face.

“Anyway she’s not that great. She’s boring. You’re–” He stopped mid sentence, looking at Ezzie for help.

Ezzie shot him a look that told him to shut up, then she finished his sentence for him. “She’s not you Y/N.”

And maybe that was the problem. 

When you finally arrived at the house in Manchester, it felt like you were closing one chapter and opening a new one. The new house had enough room for the three of you now that you all had officially gone no contact with your parents. It was in a comfortable neighbourhood, where neighbors said hello but didn’t pry too much.

It was a place to breathe...sort of.

Most of your breathing now consisted of Rêveur wafting through the air wherever you went. Thanks to Camille’s ability to persuade you into continuing to sell the scent at department stores through her manufacturer, the fragrance had spread in popularity over multiple continents. It was surreal to smell something that used to be so personal to you on strangers. Men walking past you on the street were wearing it. People’s husbands were wearing it on a simple shopping trip to Tesco. Even teenagers who were way too heavy handed with their sprays were wearing it. It followed you everywhere – almost like the universe was taunting you. You didn’t love the idea of smelling your past on a stranger’s skin, but it brought in a lot of money. Rêveur used to be you and Trent’s creation, but now it belonged to the whole wide world.

“You gotta stop frowning when you smell it” Ezzie told you one morning while lounging on the couch in one of your old hoodies. “It’s iconic now. You’re a fragrance legend.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “It literally feels like it’s haunting me. It’s meant for my footballer ex, but now Steve from accounting is wearing it to Piccadilly station on his morning commute so I can afford to live.”

Ziggy walked in mid rant, dropping his bag on the floor after training. “You didn’t have to keep selling it. I would’ve made sure you were good.”

He was right. Ziggy had been grinding through the academy the past two years and started training alongside the first team. Ezzie’s calendar was filled with castings, campaigns, and now New York Fashion Week. You were proud of them, but you couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing for the life you had before Les Notes d’Amour burned down. Including the life you had with Trent – especially now that Camille was engaged to Jules. She Facetimed you religiously during her wedding planning. You could see the huge diamond ring on her finger sparkling at every angle of light every time she called.

“I can’t deal with him right now” Camille sighed one night, pacing around her living room. You could see Jules in the background, quietly scrolling through his phone and wisely pretending he didn’t exist. Camille had become a bit of a bridezilla since the engagement.

“He thinks sage and laurel are the same color Y/N.”

You held back your laugh, not wanting to set Camille off. “Maybe he just doesn’t care which colors you choose?”

“Of course he doesn’t care. He’s a man.” she responded flatly, tearing up. “I can’t have sage at my wedding Y/N.. it’s sooo tacky. It has to be laurel.”

“So we’ll do laurel then. It’s not that deep.” you reaffirmed her, still not trying to laugh at Camille’s new bridezilla persona.

“It is that deep,” she snapped. “I really can’t deal with this right now.”

You nodded, letting her spiral in the same way she let you when you were worried about something miniscule. As you listened to her ramble about the difference between the shades of green, you started zoning out. You wanted to tell her about your decision to sell your formulas to a fragrance house during NYFW since you hadn’t told anyone else yet, but you couldn’t find a way to bring it up. So you kept it a secret – from everyone.

Little did you know, Trent was headed to New York too – but with Alannah.

The week of NYFW, Trent was in a quiet hotel room with Alannah as she tapped her nails against her phone screen. She sat on the bed in another Lululemon set that was void of any color besides neutrals while her hair was held up with a claw clip. The girl really had no fashion sense at all – not like you did. She looked like she was ready to head to pilates at any given moment. They matched at least – Trent wore his tracksuits as always, while she always wore Lululemon. Alannah irritated Trent though. Everything about her was aesthetically curated, clean, and so devoid of anything interesting or chaotic that it was extremely eerie. He didn’t want someone perfect, he wanted you. 

Trent stood near the window, staring at the city traffic and people watching. New York was a lively city that moved fast, but in the hotel room it felt like life had been sucked out of him.

“Babe?” Alannah said suddenly while looking up from her phone.

“What?” Trent answered with agitation in his voice, his back still facing her.

“I didn’t want to say anything but...I found the ring.”

“Huh?” For a second, Trent thought she was joking.  “What ring?”

“Don’t be daft Trent.” she giggled. “The little velvet box in your drawer? Are you planning something?”

He turned all the way around now, blinking. “Planning what???”

“Babeee. You know what. We’ve been together a while so it makes sense to head that way. I’ll pretend to be shocked when you ask” she winked.

The silence was awkward…very awkward. Trent looked at her like she was an idiot. “Alannah, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“The engagement RING. I’m not stupid. I saw it.”

Trent ran a hand over his face, trying to process how he wanted to continue, but then he gave up. “Yeah, no. That ring isn’t for you.”

Silence.

Alannah looked as if the perfection in her had short circuited, clearly the girl wasn’t used to being told no. No matter how hard she tried to force it. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s not for you” he repeated more clear this time, painfully obvious to him but not to her.

Her face contorted into a mix of embarrassment but also anger as she processed his words. “Then who the hell is it for Trent?”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s just not for you.” he muttered while turning back to the window.

“It doesn’t matter?” Alannah’s voice went higher. “You’re serious? I’ve been with you for almost a year. Met your mates, travelled, pretended to care about football. And I’m just some placeholder?”

“I’m not about to argue with you right now.” Trent turned back to her, his tone flat. “Not in the mood for it.”

“Oh, we are” she shot back, ready to put on the performance of a lifetime. This was the most personality she’d shown since meeting him at the club one night. “You don’t want to have sex anymore, you barely spoke on the plane ride here, and now I’m finding out there’s a ring that’s not for me? You’re wasting my time!”

“Then leave.” Trent said in an unbothered tone.

Alannah’s mouth fell open, caught off guard. “Are you serious?”

“Full stop” he shrugged. “I’m not marrying you. Never planned to, never will. I don’t feel that way about you.”

He didn’t mean to be that harsh about it, but there was no point in keeping up with the charade anymore. Alannah fumbled with her bag as she stormed out the room in tears. “You’re such a dick. And you’re not that cute by the way. Let’s see who’ll put up with all your bullshit like I did.”

Trent didn’t answer and instead watched her as she slammed the door so hard the empty hangers rattled in the hotel’s wardrobe.

“Glad that’s over with.”

A few minutes later, Trent headed outside with his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets as he walked through the Lenox Hill area of Manhattan. He had no idea where he was going, but he needed to breathe in something else that wasn’t stuffy hotel air or Alannah’s suffocating perfume that he never liked. He wandered aimlessly past the people of New York City, letting the noise of the city drown out his thoughts. He really only dated Alannah to keep the other side of his bed warm, but she could never compare to the way he felt with you. He was checked out of that relationship from the moment it started. She couldn’t be you – no one could.

Eventually he stopped. Looking up to see he was at 225 East 60th Street

Serendipity 3 was a cozy spot he never heard of before that was known for selling frozen hot chocolate and had grown in popularity because of a 2000s rom-com film. He could see a couple sitting off to the side, sharing a hot chocolate at a small table with twinkling lights. They looked like they were on their first date, but he saw the way they looked at each other. It reminded him of the first date he had with you.

Then he smelled something. Vanilla and amber. Vanille Étoilée.

The nostalgic scent of you made him freeze on the spot. He whipped his head around, eyes darting through the crowd. He saw a familiar silhouette walking a bit further ahead, just turning the corner. He thought it was you, but he couldn’t be for sure.

“No shot…” he whispered, heart racing. He started weaving through people in a speed walk with the smell guiding him like a thread. When he reached the corner, he looked down the street but he didn’t see anyone who looked like you. There were nothing but taxis, Uber Eats bike couriers, and faceless strangers walking by. He stood there, looking around in a dazed state, staring at everything but also nothing at all as the noise of the city became the soundtrack of his confusion.

In a city like New York, you had to be a fast walker. You were a few blocks away now, but you smelled him too when you turned the corner. The faint scent of Rêveur enwrapped you, bringing back a flood of memories. That wasn’t out of the ordinary for you now that the scent had become a bestseller. You shook your head, laughing to yourself. You figured it was just another stranger wearing a scent you once created for the love of your life. Nothing more.

You couldn’t be any more wrong, but neither of you turned back.

“I’m losing it” Trent whispered to himself, dragging his hand across his face. 

Maybe he was, but the universe had other plans.

An hour later, you found yourself inside Bergdorf Goodman on 5th Avenue. The marble floors reflected the ambient lighting of the circular chandeliers above. The department store was filled with luxury goods like Gianvito Rossi, Moncler and Saint Laurent. You weren’t looking for anything specific, just window shopping and killing time before your big meeting. The fragrance section immediately drew you in. You looked at them all until you saw one single bottle of Rêveur sitting on display. It really was a bestseller. 

You walked over to it, reaching out for the bottle instinctively as your fingers brushed the cool bottle. Another hand met yours at the same time and you froze, smelling the scent of bergamot, lavender, sandalwood and apple drifting into the shared air.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to–” Trent’s voice stopped mid sentence. His familiar voice threw you for a loop in the sea of American accents. You felt your heart drop as you glanced up, trying not to give away how rattled you were. Trent’s hand pulled away a bit, almost like he wasn’t sure whether to back away or stand his ground.

“Oh.” The word slipped out before you could think of anything else. “It’s you. Hi.”

Trent tilted his head, a small smile appearing on his lips. “It’s me. Hi.”

The silence stretched longer than it needed to as the magnetic tension you used to feel reappeared. You were painfully self aware of everything – how the bottle felt, how good Trent looked, how fast your heart was beating, and how Vanille Étoilée and Rêveur were enwrapping to create one intoxicating scent.

“I didn’t know you shopped at Bergdorfs…” you said finally, looking him in the eye as you pulled away from the bottle of Rêveur. 

“I don’t” Trent shrugged, stepping closer to you. “Was just walking by and something pulled me in.” He eyed the bottle, grabbing it and resting it in the palm of his hand as he smiled back at you. “Guess I know what now. It’s the last bottle.”

“And here I was thinking I was special,” you smiled back.

“You are.” The words slipped out so naturally you weren’t sure if he meant to say it out loud.

You glanced back at the bottle of Rêveur in his hand and cleared your throat, trying to find anything to talk about to settle the awkwardness. 

“So..um..you still wear it then?” you finally asked.

“Never stopped.” He tilted his head, searching your face for something. “Can’t bring myself to switch but it’s getting harder to find nowadays.”

You bit your lip, trying not to show your widening grin. “A number one bestseller will do that.”

“I guess so” Trent’s gaze drifted to your left hand and you clocked it instantly. He was checking to see if someone else had scooped you up.

“Looking for something?” you teased, cocking your brow.

He laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh..nah. Just checking. You’re not all that easy to keep up with these days. You even blocked my burner.”

You blinked, surprised he brought it up, but then you smirked. “...Scentimental. Really Trent?”

“I thought it was a good name” he defended himself with a sheepish grin. “How did you know it was me?”

“You were following a JudeTrent fan account and then you sent me a DM that sounded exactly like you. Didn’t take much. You’re not that subtle.”

“Ah, damn. I thought I was incognito enough” he muttered with a soft laugh.

“You weren’t. But A for effort.”

Trent’s gaze on you softened and he felt an itch to reach for you, but he couldn’t – you weren’t together anymore. He hesitated during a pause of silence, then spoke up. “So how have you been?”

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant even though you were everything but. “Busy…”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one you’re getting.” You glanced down at your phone, your pulse spiking as seconds ticked by. You needed to go but you didn’t want to be the one to leave first. 

“You free? To catch up, I mean..”

You heard the vulnerability in his voice and it immediately made you want to say yes, but you forced yourself to keep it together. “I have a meeting. I’m already cutting it close.”

His jaw tensed, but he nodded. “Right. No problem.”

You took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “But maybe if it’s meant to be, we’ll see each other again?” 

“You think so?”

You nodded, giving him a bittersweet smile. “Yeah. It’s worked before, right?”

“Guess so.” Trent smiled just enough to make your chest ache. You stepped back, walking away before looking over your shoulder. “Bye Trent. Nice seeing you again.”

“Bye Y/N…”

The further you walked away from him, the harder it was to breathe. You didn’t look back again, but you could feel him watching you leave. As you disappeared into the crowd, Trent stood there – frozen in place as he inhaled the faint remnants of your scent in the air.

“If we’re meant to see each other again..we will.” he said to himself.

After you left Bergdorf’s in a hurry, your heart was racing. It felt like no time had passed between you, even if it was somewhat awkward. You had no time to think about that though. You had an important meeting to get to.

Or so you thought.

By the time you arrived, you were already running a bit late. You glanced at your phone, sighing heavily as the lift dinged with each floor. When you finally arrived, you bolted to the receptionist’s desk.

“Hi. I’m here for the meeting with the fragrance house.” you said, a little breathless.

The lady at the desk gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry Miss L/N, but that meeting ended over an hour ago.”

Your stomach sank. Thanks to jetlag and a five hour time difference, you miscalculated the time of the meeting. You fumbled for your phone, scrolling through the calendar. The meeting time was clear as day – an hour earlier than what you originally thought.

“Would you like me to reschedule?” the receptionist offered in a kind voice.

“No.” you muttered, pinching the bridge of your nose. “It’s fine. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Thank you though.”

You walked back to the lift with your shoulders slumped. When the doors opened, you barely noticed the person already in there until they spoke up.

“Y/N right?”

You turned to see a girl in head to toe athleisure, swirling a straw around in the drink she was carrying.

“Yes?” you replied hesitantly. 

She smiled a bit too knowingly. “I’m Alannah. Trent’s ex.”

You were confused, but you kept your expression neutral. “Oh. Hi.”

As the lift descented, an uncomfortable silence filled the tiny space. You could feel Alannah’s gaze on you and it made you feel weird. Something about this girl was strange – Ziggy was right. Her perfume wasn’t a vibe either, it smelled awful.

Coco Mademoiselle, you thought to yourself. In this day and age??

“He’s mentioned you before,” Alannah said in an eerie tone, cutting through your internal judgement. “I mean..obviously not to me directly but..”

You scrolled through your phone, avoiding the awkwardness as best as possible. “I’m sure he has.”

She tilted her head, studying you. “That ring is for you, isn’t it?”

You stiffened, unsure of what she was getting at. “What ring?”

Alannah scoffed in disbelief. “Cut the bullshit Y/N. I know why you’re here. Me and Trent broke up today and all of a sudden you’re here too? I’m not fucking dumb.”

You gave her the nastiest side eye, putting your phone back in your pocket. “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to..but it’s definitely not me. It feels like you’re projecting. Maybe sort that out before you come for me babe.” You stepped out of the lift and into the lobby before she had a chance to say anything back, and before you had a chance to give her the filthiest read of a lifetime.

When you got back to your hotel room, you flung yourself on the bed with a groan, rubbing your temples. Trent, Alannah, and the missed meeting. It all felt like some lame, poorly written story on wattpad, but this was your real life.

It was supposed to be easy to get lost in a big city like New York, especially during NYFW, yet somehow you kept running into the past. You didn’t understand it at that moment, but the universe was slowly resewing the loose thread that connected you to him – waiting for the perfect moment to sew the final figure 8 knot in place.

A few months later, you were back at Anfield and it felt surreal. It had been over two years since you last set foot in the stadium. But now you were wearing your own surname on a shirt instead of Alexander-Arnold. The number 16 was displayed on the fabric, representing your brother’s first team debut. Ezzie was beside you, documenting everything on Instagram with her phone.

“This is so weird” you admitted as you sat in your seat.

“So don’t make it weird. We’re here for Ziggy, not Trent.” Ezzie affirmed, sitting beside you. “You probably won’t even notice he’s there.”

She couldn’t be more wrong. The entire game it seemed like him and Ziggy were attached at the hip, mirroring each other alongside the pitch. During the second half, Trent had a near perfect assist and Ziggy was able to score a goal on his debut night. Both of them were obnoxious as hell when they celebrated – they were still doing their crazy handshake that had somehow become even more ridiculous. 

Although the game ended in a draw, Ziggy and Trent’s performance was the highlight of the night. The crowd dispersed from the stadium and you found yourself looking up at the sky – tonight there was a full moon. You decided to stay behind, letting Ezzie head home without you so you could process all the happenings of the night.

The last time you were here your heart was full of love and chaos, but now it was filled with remnants of the past and the newfound pride you felt for Ziggy. It was nice seeing him live his dream, but it was bittersweet at the same time because every time you saw a smile on your brother’s face...Trent was right beside him. 

You made your way down to the pitch, walking to the center. You sighed, crossing your arms to shield yourself from the chill of the night as you tilted your head back, taking in the moon in all its glory.

“I didn’t think you would stay.”

His voice startled you. Mostly because of how much you missed hearing it. You turned around and Trent was standing at the edge of the center with his hands in his jacket pockets. The view of him alone nearly knocked the wind out of you. You had no idea he was still watching every full moon with you while you were apart for two years.

“I just needed a minute,” you replied softly.

Trent walked toward you slowly, trying to figure out if he was welcome or not. You didn’t move, so he continued to bridge the gap.

“Hell of a debut, yeah?” He nodded toward where Ziggy scored his first goal.

You nodded, smiling shyly. “He really thrives under pressure.”

“Nah, that’s all you.” Trent replied in a warm voice. “He’s lucky he has someone like you to keep his head on straight.”

You glanced away from him, taking in the view of the moon again. “Just doing what I need to do. He’s too young to handle it alone.”

Trent sat next to you, but kept a comfortable distance. He looked up at the moon, and then back at you. You found yourself instinctively scooting toward him. You convinced yourself it was because you were cold, but you knew better.

“I missed you,” Trent said, breaking the silence. His guard was fully down, emotion in every word.

“Trent…” you began, but he shook his head.

“Just let me say it Y/N” His eyes searched yours and you felt goosebumps appear on your skin. “I miss you every single day. I tried to move on..I really did. But I can’t. I miss you so much it hurts.” You felt a lump in your throat as tears welled in your eyes. You were trying so hard to keep it together, but you were crumbling fast.

“I thought I was doing you a favor.” you admitted in a trembling voice. “I was really depressed Trent…I didn’t want to drag you with me.”

“I would’ve stuck beside you through it all.” 

“I know,” you whispered. Tears started spilling down your face. “I didn’t mean what I said to you that night. I was angry..hurt..really scared. And I only blocked you because hearing about you or even looking at you hurt so bad. I couldn’t be what you needed me to be.”

Trent moved his hand and brushed them over your knuckles lightly. He searched your eyes and you could see the pain of all the months he spent wondering. 

“Never needed you to be anything but yourself, Y/N. I don’t care if you’re not perfect. I fell in love with you because you never tried to change yourself for me. I fell in love with every bit of what makes you, you. I just wish you would’ve given me a little longer. Been lost without you ever since.”

You glanced down as your tears fell more quickly now. Trent cupped your face, forcing you to look at him. His eyes were glossy, filled with tears threatening to overflow. “You don’t get it Y/N. I’ve never seen you as someone that needs fixing. I love you the way you are. Through the good and the bad I’ll always love you no matter what.”

“I– I love you too....I’m sorry” you whispered. “I didn’t mean to do you like that. I honestly just didn’t know what to do. I–”

A faint crack of thunder made you pause. Trent’s thumb traced over your cheek, wiping away the tears that kept falling no matter how hard you were trying to keep them in. His gentle touch felt just as familiar as the moon hanging above you both.

“I didn’t know how to come back to you.” you murmured in a soft tone.

“I’d wait forever for you baby” Trent replied, barely audible over the soft drizzle starting to rain over you. “I only want you.”

“Trent..” You said his name like it was the only word you ever wanted to say again. Another clap of thunder broke from the sky as Trent pulled you into him, placing his hands on your waist. You couldn’t hold back anymore and found yourself wrapping your arms around his shoulders. The moment you kissed him, it felt like you were kissing him for the first time all over again. Every part of you felt like it was being stitched back together with each movement of his lips against yours – like a stitched figure 8 knot.

When the rain began to fall harder, Trent pulled away breathlessly to take off his jacket, holding it above you to shield you from the rain, then he smirked at you.

“If it’s meant to be, we’ll see each other again.”

“What?”

“That’s what you said to me in New York” he reminisced. “You looked me dead in the eye at Bergdorf’s and told me that. Then you walked away like it was nothing.”

You let out a laugh. “And here we are..seeing each other again.”

“After two, long and miserable years.” he chuckled sarcastically, walking you toward the tunnel. You felt guilty, so you didn’t say anything back, but Trent sensed it immediately.

“I’m not saying that to guilt you.” he added. “I just don’t want to waste any more time wondering if I’ll see you again. I don’t want to leave it up to fate or serendipity or whatever we’ve been calling this.”

You didn’t want to leave it up to fate either. Not anymore.

“Trent..I really don’t want this night to end..” you admitted quietly. “I missed you so fucking much.”

He gave you a big grin, making your heart skip a beat. “Then let’s not let it end, yeah?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come with me” he said, very matter of fact while smiling. “Anywhere. Right now.”

“Anywhere?” you asked softly.

“Anywhere.” he repeated, leaning in closely to kiss you again. “As long as I’m with you.”

thank you readers ily 🫶🏽

[montimer]

I've seen a lot of people do nurse and guard readers with the Joker. As someone that has to stay at a mental clinic themselves, I wanna ask if you could do some Headcanons for a fellow inmate!reader ?

If something is incorrect, im sorry! I never been to one but i try my best to make this close to reality. Also i hope you are okay now =] / ♡\

Joker x inmate!reader

Gn!reader, ending is a bit yandere. Could be any joker but i'll go with tnba one

Because of your mental state you were taken to the only place in gotham that was avaliable. Arkham asylum

You weren't crazy no. But there was no where else that you could be taken to. Or so your therapist said so.

Arkham was, something else to say atleast. Sure they got the basic medication and group therapy, but you where also surrounded by villains and other crazyes that would kill to get out.

The doctor kept a check on ur progress, you attended those therapy groups, you did your best to stay away from too dangerous people.

But it wasn't so long till he took a notice of you. The joker.

He first saw you trough his windowed cell. Staring at the new patient. He thought you were just another lost case. Oh but how wrong he was.

The more he saw you, the more he wanted to go up and talk to you. Sadly to him the guards made sure to keep him at his place.

But he had his first chance to talk to you when most of the patients could just chill in the "living room" (im sorry idk how its called lemme show a pic)

(Lobby?? Idk)

As he came in the door most of the patients moved as far aways as they could. You looked up to see who it was that they were so afraid of and you swear your heart just skipped a beat. The joker himself standing at the door, a pleased smile appeared on his face, proud of the fact that many fear him so much. Why he gotta be here of all places?

The guards standed aside and as his eyes landed on you, an even bigger smile appeared on his face and he made his way to you.

You took your time to observe him as he walked towards you. He had white pale skin, his lips painted red, his spiky hair was dark green. He wore the same simple clothes as the other patients. You never seen him up close.

If he tries anything you'll just call for the guards, you tried calming yourself knowing theres no escape. You quickly grabbed a magazine infront of you from the table and started acting like you are busy.

Once he reached you, he sit down next to you on the couch.

He peaked over your shoulders. "What'cha readin'?" He smiled at you.

"Oh, uhh just some magazine.." you said still staring at the page. After not getting a response you looked up at him nervously.

"Ah finally, face to face" he slowly took the magazine out of your hand.

"Whats your name sweets? Haven't seen you around here before." He hold out his hand. "C'mon don't be shy, i don't bite"

"Im y/n.. just got here like a week ago yeah" you shook his hand.

"Y/n? I like the sound of that. Well, you know my name don't'cha? Incase you don't, im The Joker."

"I know, the prince of crime?"

"The one and only!" He said smiling back, happy with your knowledge.

"You are not crazy, so why are ya here?" Interested in you he asks.

You explain your situation and he nods.

"Ah yes, gothams best cure for the mentally ill is throwing them into an insane asylum" he says mockingly while looking at the guards

You giggle at that and it gets his attention. "Finally, a good audience. Haven't had one in so long" he smiles at you.

The two of you chatted for a while. You actually kind of enjoyed his company.

He made lots of jokes and whenever you laughed or even giggled a bit, it made his chest feel all warm and fuzzy. He didn't know how to took it in but all he knew is that he wanted to see you smile and laugh more.

After he ranted about how crappy this place is and he is planning his escape, he asked more about you. Listening to your voice, taking in the details of your face. He haven't had such nice and calm talk in so long. Let alone have anyone listen to his ranting.

The fun didn't last long as the guards made their way to take everyone back to their room/cells.

He looked up at the guard angrily but went anyway. He took one last look at you as he was dragged away.

After that he absolutely loves seeing and talking to you. At the cafeteria, at the rooms. Whenever he can, he'll be around you. The others warn you about him, but to you he seems so sweet in person, only to you.

He slowly realizes he has fallen for you in your staying.

He is extremely clingy and protective. Asking if anyone is annoying you or needed to be 'taken care of'.

He'll wave at you from his cell, calling out to you.

He makes silly attempts to flirt and you just giggle at it, not thinking much about it. But to him, to him it means so much.

But then the time comes when you are finally let out. Before that day you tell him about it happily, so proud of the fact that you can go back to your home. He frowns, you are leaving? Forever?

Oh but he quickly regains his smile. Hes gonna make his escape and will do anything to find you. After all you said you live in gotham, and he can easily find his targets. Atleast now he won't have to wait too long to meet you. No one will interrupt him.

He is already planning his confession and will send lots of gifts to your house. You didn't really think you can get away from him so easily, did you?

He loves you so much, you are his darling, the sweetest! The only one for him, even if you don't know yet...

Silly you, belive you him, your gonna love it with him.

Now he just needs to take you to his hide out to explain. Hopefully you'll understand ;]

[bbrissonn]

𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐮 - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐳𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬 (𝟑)

╰┈➤ release day of i regret you all the time is here, and it's trevor's turn to make things messy

╰┈➤ pairing: trevor zegras x ex!singer!girlfriend

╰┈➤ social media + real life

╰┈➤ masterlist

༊*·˚

-SEPTEMBER 20TH, 2023-

༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ alannaoregon has posted on instagram

alannaoregon

liked by becky.rivera and 1.9M others

alannaoregon it's here !! my new single "i regret you all the time" is now available on ALL streaming platforms !!!

seriously cannot put into words how much all this support you guys have shown for the last couple of weeks mean to me 🫶 i hope you all enjoy this song as much as i enjoyed writing it

love you all, lanny 💖

view all 3,018 comments

becky.rivera so proud of you love

alannaoregon @/becky.rivera

user62 I REGRET EVER EVEN LOOKING AT YOU--

user018 @/user62 miss girl did NOT hold back user736 @/user62 I REGRET ASKING FOR YOUR NAME user917 @/user736 I REGRET YOU EVERYTIME I WALK BY THAT CAFE user257 @/user917 I REGRET YOU ALL THE TIME

jackhughes bop

lhughes_06 @/jackhughes bop _quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 bop _alexturcotte @/_quinnhughes bop colecaufield @/_alexturcotte bop alannaoregon @/colecaufield bop user364 @/alannaoregon what in the sorcery is going on over here??

user932 NOT ALL OF TREVS CLOSE FRIENDS COMMENTING IN THIS POST--

user273 @/user932 THEY ALL COMMENTED UNDER JACK'S COMMENT TOO

user726 sobbing in my bathroom rn the rest of the album is gonna destroy me

load more...

༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ trevorzegras has posted on instagram

trevorzegras

liked by jamie.drysdale and others

trevorzegras summa

view all 71 comments

jackhughes brotha

liked by trevorzegras

user817 @/jackhughes this makes so confused... user462 @/user817 RIGHT

dixiefanpage GUYS DIXIE AND TREVOR UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER !!!

user283 cool post mr i regret you all the time

user527 how does it feel knowing mother lanny regrets looking at you??

user074 im sending you my therapy bill

load more...

༊*·˚

-REAL LIFE, NEW JERSEY-

༊*·˚

"You're so messy." Jack laughed, looking over the girl sitting on the other couch, her head leaning on Luke's shoulder.

"Am not!"

"You kinda are." The youngest boy whispered, making Alanna gasp slightly.

"Trev's freaking out because of you." The middle Hughes brother announced, looking down at his phone. The girl rolled her eyes at his statement.

"He can survive one hour without talking to me." The singer said, making Luke chuckle slightly has his eyes focused back on the TV.

"Can you just answer him so he stops spamming me, please?" Jack begged as his phone rang over and over again. Alanna rolled her eyes once again before pulling out her phone.

trevuh

LANNY

LANNY

ANSWER

PLEASE

THERE'S ANGRY GIRLS IN MY DMS

TELLING ME TO COUNT MY DAY

CONTROL THEM PLS

Alanna scoffed as he eyes looked at the chain of message the Zegras boy had left her.

"Excuse me." She whispered before standing up from the couch and walking into the bathroom.

"Finally!" Trevor exclaimed as he answered her phone call.

"Leave Jack alone."

"Lanny, I am getting eaten alive in my comment section, and all you have to say is leave Jack alone?" The boy spoke, clearly being dramatic.

"Trev, just ignore it. No ones actually gonna send you their therapy bills or try to kill you."

"You don't know that." The younger boy sassed through the phone, making Alanna sigh.

"You kinda deserve it, babes."

"Hey!"

"You broke my heart!"

"But I also fixed it!"

"Yeah, and now you're Becky's number 1 public enemy." It was now her turn to sass the boy, who let out a gasp at her words.

"I am not! Becky loves me!"

"She said if you broke my heart again you're never gonna play hockey again."

"It's all jokes, baby. She doesn't mean it... I hope." The boy mumbled, making the girl giggle slightly. "I'm really proud of you, Lana." The boy added, all the playfulness in his voice gone. The girl smiled to herself in the mirror slightly.

"I'm proud of you too, Trev." The girl answered, and at the same moment, a manly voice spoke to Trevor in the background. The hockey player sighed a bit before focusing back on the girl.

"Listen, I gotta go back to training. I'll call you tonight, alright?" The boy announced, making Alanna frown slightly.

"I'll be waiting."

"I love you."

"I love you more, Trevs." The line disconnected after that, the girl now standing silently in the bathroom. Her phone screen black when she pulled it away from her ear and placing it into her pocket before walking back to the living room.

"I still can't believe you got back with him." Jack whispered after a couple of minutes of the three of them just watching the movie that was playing on the TV. The girl was now sitting on the same couch as Jack, since Luke had decided to lay down on the other.

The girl's eyes looked away from the screen and over to the boy, who was already looking at her. Luke's attention remained on the movie, not even hearing Jack's words.

"Do you think I'm being stupid?" The girl asked, her voice just as low has his. Jack nodded his head no, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"You make him happy, and he makes you happy. That's all that matters, Lanny. I don't know what he was thinking when... that happened, but he's so in love with you. When he came back from training camp in 2019, you were all he could talk about. It was always Lana this, Lana that. He's still like that." The boy mumbled, the memories of Trevor never being able to shut up for months because if the girl coming back to him.

"But that if that happens again?"

"Then he's the biggest idiot in the universe. You're the best thing that's ever happened to him, and he better be worshiping the ground you walk on for giving him another chance." The boy reassured her. Alanna would be lying if the thought of Trevor seeing other girls behind her back again wasn't constantly swimming inside her head.

"Thank you, for always being there for me."

"You're like my sister, Lanny, I'm always gonna be here."

taglist <3 @aliaology

[cinamun]

Ooou sis! I'm working backwards yet again. I was trying to scroll/pick up where I last left off at but I got distracted at SPOILER ALERT...I REPEAT SPOILER ALERT (for those that are catching up too...please swiftly scroll...because Imma need to park here for a moment...

CAUSE NOT MY MR. BABY DADDY DOCTOR SIR...Nuh uh, her deflecting ass CANNOT be! I was trying to be a law obiding citizen, in theses here tumblr streets but I saw baby boo and got distracted (cause lawd knows his fine "I can fix that" ass is damn fine...you understand meeeee!). Standin in that office looking *bites knuckle* 😩Had to flip it in reverse cause Mercy's yellin ass is here *holds hand above head* and Imma need her to be here *holds hand at knee level*. NOT TODAY!

But also, while we're here...It never ceases to amaze me the way some think that therapy/healing is an overnight fix. GIRL HOW TF CAN YOU HEAL IF YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL YOURSELF THE DAMN TRUTH! Mercy, Ma'am, it took you all that damn time to pack this shit up (go through/deal with/live with/suppress/ignore it), it's gonna take you a good while to unpack. Girlie, that bag is so damn heavy, it's gonna take some years just to flip that MF over on it's back, so you can even begin to unzip it. Out here tryna read every MF body else but when it comes to yourself, it's *crickets*. Mercy, girl, I love you down (and Im giving you grace as I pack my ski mask and book my flight to San Sequoia...because WHOOOOOOO SHE THINK SHE TALKING TOOOOOOOO!?...

No but for real, all jokes aside, I'm looking forward to the day that she is ready and willing to do the work (and I'm looking forward to the twist & turns that you take us on to get there...because if we know anything we know the roads get topsy turvy round here!). Ya'll fasten your seatbelts and prepare for turbulence Lol. Switching gears a bit, I am glad that HoJay decided to put the babies in Daycare. That's a good choice (1) for the kids to be able to mix & mingle with more kiddos (2) for Hope to get reacquainted with "Hope" again & (3) so Mercy can finally give herself the time to serve herself for once too!

I may circle back at a later time when I've had enough rest to process other thoughts that's running in my mind. Til then, Imma be in the back corner pondering how many more lemon peps I can fit on my plate. BECAUSE THIS IS GOOOODT!

As is always the case sis I AM HOLLERIN!!! You said NOT MY DOCTOR GYATDAMMIT

I meannnnnnnnnnnn and I'm glad you brought up daycare. Did you see that flawless pivot Jay did because wtf you mean we don't need you? HOW IS THERAPY GOING MOM!?? Because she really thinks she can just bottle that shit back up like some tabasco sauce (or crystal) and start babysitting grandbabies again. NAWL SIS we got WORK to do first. The babies need social and emotional learning which is definitely not happening in Grandma Mercy's lil playroom.

She done been THROUGH some shit and thinks she can just forget it and hope she doesn't get thrown into a wall again and remember it. One thing the Good Doc™ is not, is stupid. Whether them awards of excellence on the wall are old or not, the brotha knows what he's doing and can probably see right through all that yelling in his expensive black and gold office.

Now the question is, will she take her ass back. Y'all stay tuned pls...

[steveharrington]

can you elaborate on how fanon nancy is different from canon nancy?

yes <3 when i made that post i was mostly referring to how often i see people seeming to write nancy as like the voice of reason within the group or even the one who provides comfort and stability to others and i just personally don’t think that fits her at all. i think that dilutes what makes nancy so interesting, honestly!! 1. she is not very reasonable and 2. she has trouble expressing herself in a way that other people understand.

1. nancy’s defining character trait imo is her passion. in seasons 1 and 2 she literally v physically cannot accept just allowing barb’s death to be uninvestigated and subsequently covered up, even when steve tries to reason that going along with the cover up is the safest option that ensures no one gets hurt. nancy still can’t allow that to happen and moves forward with her plan to bring barb’s death to light despite it being dangerous and potentially hopeless because she’s acting on her instincts and her love for barb, not on the safest option. in season 3, again, jonathan tries to reason with her and persuade her not to investigate the rats any further for fear of losing their jobs, but in nancy’s mind it’s worth the risk. now im not saying nancy is dumb, because shes canonically extremely smart and even when she does take risks, they’re calculated and planned. but it kinda grinds my gears when people depict her as this levelheaded by-the-books kind of person when she has demonstrated multiple times that she will simply do whatever the fuck she wants, if she feels it’s justified

2. this one moreso, i feel like nancy has fallen victim to that trend of having characters talk like they’re 10 years into therapy. i see this a lot in ship-related content for her, whether it’s jancy or ronance or stoncy, etc. people will often have her make these declarations of love very outright and talk through whatever issues she’s having with someone, which is so….. she doesn’t do that 😭 she historically struggles to bridge the gap between someone else’s position and her own, and it clearly frustrates her. case in point, she isn’t honest with steve until she’s drunk! then afterwards she still struggles to communicate, to the point that in the alleyway scene steve just fully walks away after she fails to respond at all to his questions. with jonathan she’s the same way—their big car argument is clearly frustrating to her and ends with her simply saying “you don’t know what it’s like” after jonathan gives a multi-point argument explaining his point of view. even at the very end of s4, the most recent scene we have of her, there’s so much that isn’t being said between her and jonathan. they’re not being forthcoming with each other. even with robin, she can’t express why robin’s presence is clearly bothering her in s4, even after robin openly gives her the chance to be honest and says “please tell me if im coming off badly”. there’s an enduring lack of communication in nancy’s relationships, and that makes total sense because she doesn’t have a good example of a healthy relationship in her own home. her parents just leave the dinner table when they’re upset with each other. so it blows my mind seeing depictions of her where she’s like “guys our feelings are all valid <3” like she would nottttt say that omg. she may Think it, and Want to express it, but i think it’s a disservice to what makes nancy interesting to just skip 5 years in her emotional development and suddenly have her acting as this mother-figure of the group who addresses everyone’s feelings concisely and plays it safe.

i think it’s a liiiittle bit stemming from misogyny. the “mom friend” trope is kinda pushed on her automatically, even amidst mom steve jokes, because she’s a girl in the group so she MUST attend to everyone’s feelings and make sure all the kids have snacks or whatever. it just does not reflect the more interesting and unique character we see on screen

[m0chaminx]

Sejanus Plinth | We Hate you

*•.¸♡Request: could you maybe do prompt 44 with sejanus plinth please? it’s seems soooo angsty.

*•.¸♡Prompts:  "You know we all hate you right?" (since writing this my prompt list has changed so check it out)

*•.¸♡Warnings: Angst, cannon death, this does not have a happy ending-im not paying for your therapy, creepy Coriolanus

*•.¸♡Paring: Sejanus Plinth x F!reader

*•.¸♡Summary: Hate; he heard it everyday. Hate; it was a joke. Hate; it was too late to apologise.

Or

Hate had consumed Sejanus’s life, and he thought you could never say it; until you did.

*•.¸♡Words: 1.1k

You all know we hate you right?

He heard those words a million different ways, a million different times. It used to hurt, like a knife cutting his skin every time someone wanted to make it known he was different, he was district. Very few had yet to say it, you were one of them. He spent his lunch hours with you, partnering with you on projects and spending as much time with you as possible.

You were the one person in this privileged, closed minded, haunting place that saw Sejanus as something more than just district. He was just a boy who had grown up with a shitty life, in a shitty place with shitty people and yet you sat with him everyday, reminding him that you saw him as something more.

He spent his life being hated and you would spend your life showing him he could be loved.

You sat across from him on his bed, his bedroom door closed and the window cracked open. His house was so perfectly precise in how it was decorated, perfect painting that matched the walls, that matched the kitchen that matched the furniture, so on and on. But Sejanus’s room was the one place that was in a slight disarray, clothes sticking out from draws, crooked decor and not a single colour matched the one next to it. But it was still rich, it was the capitol.

Sejanus hadn’t expected to spend his afternoon like this, he should have been studying, keeping up his appearance of the rich capital boy that was expected of him, but no. He sat with you, passing back and forth a hand rolled joint. It was not what he expected of you, such a rebellious nature to what the capitol expected, but maybe that’s why you saw him as human.

The smoke fell from your lips, lifting through the room before getting caught in the slight draft out the window. You looked up at him, his brown eyes glazed over as he stared at you. “What’s on your mind Sej?” Your voice was soft, almost airy as you passed the joint to him.

“You surprise me is all,” was his answer. He carefully took the cigarette, bringing it to his lips. 

You hummed and leant back on your hands, staring out at the slowly clouding sky. “How so Sejanus?”

He pondered for a moment. You did surprise him, your unnatural almost rebellious behaviour to the capital's minor rules so jarring to his mind. But you knew that. Hell, you were sitting here smoking with him. He shrugged softly, taking a small drag from the joint before handing it out to you. “I’m not so sure, you just do.”

You took the cigarette back, your eyes drifting back out the window. “It looks like a storm is coming.”

You all know we hate you right?

The words slipped past your lips before you could catch yourself. “We. We hate you.” It was the word that had struck so deep within him he couldn’t handle it. His hand was still raw from the chair across the room, the metal hinges had nicked his skin and cut his palm. He wiped the blood on his trousers, though his palm stung with pain, your words had numbed his heart in a moment.

You had chased him outside after his outburst, he was still seething with anger and pain when you had tried to calm him. Your need to help him left him yelling at you and in a split second throught the words passed your lips. “You all know we hate you right? What is yelling going to do?” You were meant to say they, because in truth you were right, they did hate him, what was yelling going to do. But the days with your tribute, convincing the capitol you were different from the district boy you were stuck with that your words had become real.

Yes, you were capital. Yes, he was district. But Sejanus was your friend and you had tossed it all aside in a moment you coundt take back or explain. You felt so guilty and Sejanus was filled with pain.

“I thought you were different.” They were his first words after he composed himself. “But you’re just like the rest of them.” He had turned on his heel to leave and tried to chase him, calling you were sorry, that you could explain. Could you though?

Just before your hand reached his, your nails grazing his jacket sleeve, a peacemaker had grabbed your arm and spun you to face him. “You’re not allowed to leave until your tribute dies.”

“Please! I just need a moment-”

“Now!”

“Sejanus-!” You spun to Sejanus but he had disappeared, too far from your sight to even make his figure out in the mist. Your hands moved to fist your hair, your knuckles changing colour as you gripped the roots of your hair so tight. “Fuck…” The Peacemaker regained his grip and pulled you back towards the door. 

After everything you had promised yourself, promised Sejanus, one stupid moment with one stupid word had destroyed that in an instance.

You all know we hate you right?

They were the words you never fathomed would affect him this much. But how couldn't they? You were studying in the courtyard when Coriolanus Snow made his way towards you. You had heard the news of Sejanus’s hanging in 12, everyone had but seeing the last person that had seen him alive made everything so much worse.

You closed your book, staring up at the snow boy. He had changed so quickly in just a few weeks. His once curled hair had been slicked to one side, and the so strictly formal dark red suit and long coat but you squirm. He looked so proper, that if you spoke a word against him he would have you killed, but he was your peer, and even younger than you in age. But you sat, still as a statute as you waited for the Snow boy to speak. 

When he did, the smile gracing his face was sickly sweet, “It’s good to see you.”

“And you as well, Snow,” You tried to match his smile, but the uncertainty of this new Coriolanus Snow had made your stomach twist. 

His smile grew as though he could sense your discomfort. He removed his hands from his pocket and sat on the bench beside you. “Is something bothering you?”

“Aside from the obvious?”

He chuckled darkly and slid closer, “I’m going to be spending quite some time at the Plinth house. I have since become heir to the Plinth fortune. I assume I shall see you around.”

Heir to the Plinth fortune? You turned your head, stomach twisting in realisation. Snow had intended to replace Sejanus as if he hadn't existed, and he indented to take you with him.

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