#please i want to end it so badly
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I think I'm losing it though. I want to kym so badly. The urge is getting harder to resist. I actually wanna do it. No one likes me anyways. I bet my only friend's gonna abandon me like the others.
I sound attention seeking again, I'm so sorry, please don't get mad at me...
#i will not elaborate#idk how to tag this#colaboyxbepis serious talk#i'm sorry#mental health#mental illness#i need help#please let it end#please i want to end it so badly#please its bound to happen...
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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🦋 wherever you are, we’ll meet again.
#my art#arcane#vi#jinx#powder#vi arcane#jinx arcane#powder arcane#god i miss them so badly#i just wanted them to be so happy together man#please god bring our family back together#i’ll never make a sad arcane drawing. im not built for that life#google show me arcane sisters happy ending
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wrio x you pt. 2 because the people (me too) asked for it
you’re the only exception of people who were in his past that he’d try reconnecting with. he swore to himself that he never would but the memory of you haunted him every day and night.
working in the fortress didn’t even make it easier. he’d reminisce the past during his daily checks, filled with fights, scratches and blood, but you were each other’s rock in this cold and dark prison. sleepless nights where he’d go over to your bunk, you’d both be talking and laughing about the future until other inmates woke up to give both of you a good beating.
a letter wouldn’t hurt. signed and sealed, ‘Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, Wriothesley’ with the wolf insignia on the wax seal. he read the letter multiple times until he got sick of it and threw it in the trash. any and every free time he had, it was spent to write the perfect letter to you.
he even consulted sigewinne, clorinde and neuvillette for more opinions. it was honestly humorous to see the Duke be this… frustrated over something as trivial as a letter. his trash basket was overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper.
“wriothesley, this letter feels too formal.” was a comment by clorinde about his 10th attempt. “you should add more emotion!” sigewinne responded after reading his 27th attempt. “i am not too familiar with matters relating to human love however i do believe that you have not conveyed that in this letter,” said by neuvillette regarding his 59th attempt.
he lost count of how many letters he had written, how many ink bottles he had opened, how many seals he had stamped. it was eating at him, and now the heavy weight of whether you’d even feel the same way back was beginning to creep in.
the ink pooled on the paper. he had run out of ideas, his hand shaking from the fear of it being imperfect. he couldn’t handle it anymore and let his emotions take over him. every word he wrote that night came straight from his heart instead of his brain, putting aside his own formality and rules for you. it’d be another scrapped attempt anyway…
‘With all my love, Wriothesley’, signed off with no wax seal. he had read somewhere that colored wax was used by sculptors when they made mistakes. this letter was no mistake, his love for you was no mistake.
he used his connections, specifically neuvillette and the maison gardiennage, to find where you had decided to settle down. he originally intended to have it sent to you by courier, but here he was, standing in front of your front door. to have the Duke come all the way up to the surface and hand deliver you his letter, oh how smitten he was over you. a quick fix of his outfit, brushed off any dust and fixed his hair before he knocked on the door.
he could hear your footsteps as you scurried over to the door, your voice behind it.
“i didn’t order anything. why is there a-“
you were cut off by the sight in front of you. his charming smile and blue-grey eyes that captivated you the moment you became friends in the fortress. he straightened up his posture, clearly taken aback by how much you’ve changed but it seemed to go both ways.
“good morning, i believe we have some catching up to do.” he said before holding out the letter for you to take. the sun was still out, there was tea in the kitchen and you had time to spare. next thing you know, you were sitting next to each other on the sofa and chatting about each other’s new lives, times changed yet feelings stayed the same.
#luminotes ˚✧₊⁎☆#wriothesley#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x gn reader#wrio x reader#wrio x you#genshin impact#wriothesley genshin#wrio genshin#so umm…. yeah….#im so sorry if this is shit but i wanted to have a more open ending#I AM ALSO JUST BAD AT WRITING ANYTHING THAT ISNT A ONESHOT SAD ANGST THING#but i did want him to be a bit pathetic because i love that#also i hope people notice the parallel to the file ending in pt. 1#PLEASE I NEED HIM SO BADLY IM GOING TO CRYYYY#i miss him actually sobs#this was so self indulgent for me actually but im afraid i just CANNOT write im sorry
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We finally have an official height for Phee! She's about 5'7". I think they also changed up the paragraph above, because I don't remember it being phrased "a special affinity for Tech." Aww.
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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Can someone tell me to do it scared
#It = shave my moustache#I've been shaving my (emerging) beard for a year now (thanks testosterone)#But I haven't been able to touch my moustache at all#The reason: as a tween/teen I got badly bullied for my facial hair and ended up waxing it several times bc of the bullying#(done by students *and* a teacher)#So now I have a very complicated and scary relationship with touching my moustache#But I don't love the way it looks on me now that it's thicker#And I'm also scared I won't like the texture after I shave it. But I also had that fear about my side burns and it turned out fine#So#Can someone please tell me to do it scared? That it's okay to do it scared?#Please#If anyone wants to share their story with shaving their mustache it's v welcome too
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Feel free to ignore this but as someone who also goes to art school, I find it really interesting how other art schools also have a “don’t date your peers” sort of faux pa. Like so many people I know (including me) refuse to date anyone else who goes to my college 😭
I wonder why that is tbh, small school thing maybe?
being so serious i didn't have anything against dating other art school peers when i first came here and i think most freshmen dont but once you have one or two art school relationships under your belt you realize why all the upperclassmen avoid dating each other like the plague
#it sounds so good on the surface. like when am i ever going to find this many lesbians concentrated into one place at the same time#but unfortunately in order to go to art school you need to be 1. in your 20s and 2. have something wrong with you#also especially as you get into years 3-4 i think maintaining a relationship just becomes SO hard. bc we're all in the trenches#AND ALSO. from experience. this school is SO small that you CANNOT avoid your exes. if it ends badly fuck you you have 4 classes with her#anyway obviously this doesnt stop me from looking for. things. on tinder. i just dont swipe right on anyone i recognize from class#and it ALSO does not stop you from WANTING to date people in your classes. this tinder girl is nowhere near my first art school crush i jus#do not act on them anymore <3 lmfao#that being said tinder girl if youre reading this i didnt mean any of it baby you're so pretty and im so stable please dm me
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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how many times did I watch this? yes.
courtesy of elvis.planet on Instagram
#the scream that I just screamt#excuse me while I bang my head into the nearest wall#please lord#I can’t breatheeee#I need him so badly jwshsjuswdg#I’m a puddle rn#I understand why they wanted to arrest his ass#you can’t be doing this to me elvis 😭#just need to be on the receiving end of that hip action 🥲#i love him#elvisaaronpresley#elvis presley#big daddy elvis#70s#elvis#Elvis concerts#elvis footage
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Is it just me or am I suddenly feeling depressed and suicidal? Like, idk what happened but I am not doing okay. /gen /srs
Was it the things I said? Am I feeling just really guilty? Am I over-reacting? I think I'm having some sort of lovechild of a panic attack and a mental breakdown. I'm supposed to be sleeping and I'm over here crying and trying to express my feelings on TUMBLR.
Can anyone give any advice on dealing with this? Is this a serious issue? I have tests tomorrow, I need help, and I need it fast. I'm already stressed, I'm still going through puberty so my life is quite a mess, I'm demotivated to do anything and I feel like shit.
I'M SORRY, I SOUND ATTENTION GRABBING, I JSUT NEEDED TO SAYE SOEMTHING SORRYYYYYYY /gen
I CAN'T TRYPE I'M EGYTEING OVERWHELPMED
#i will not elaborate#i need help#serious post#i'm not joking#do i need therapy?#should i get help?#can someone help me#dead serious#please i want to end it so badly#it's overwhelming#it's okay to hate on me <3#idk how to tag this#colaboyxbepis talks#colaboyxbepis serious talk#update#mental health#do i have a mental illness#do i have a problem?#do i have to do everything myself#i'm overreacting#i'm sorry#i'm so sorry#mental problems#mental breakdown#im going to kms
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Ehh... Webtoons... just a tiny question...
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!
As if the new Chapter wasn't anxiety inducing enough...!
#wayne family adventures#webtoon#I can't#this will end so badly...#why?!#I wanted a lighthearted silly little comic!#I was baited into thinking that it was a lighthearted silly little comic#But now it's full woth angst!#like ...#what the actual fuck?!#I saw this jump scare of a promotion after I read the new chapter#It's making me quite upset#also what do you mean:#'Guess who is in town?'??!!!??!!#Can that fucking clown please die in a ditch?#pleeeease....?
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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Sorry for slow moving content/communication. I love to write, it's no obligation and if anything I'd prefer to write and draw over school anytime.
I'm just a little depressed right now, school and work together are making me very tired. I'm failing some classes and I feel very a little down because of it, I wish college wasn't so hard :-(
#i feel like this is the hardest I've ever worked in my life#I've always been considered a 'gifted' child growing up#I was in honors and AP#so failing for the first time really stings#I've never been this sad before#I've been told it's not the end of the world but I'm scared#It's all still new to me#i hope i can retake the class#i hate ranting sorry please block the 🩹 tag if you don't like seeing it >.<#I want to have the energy to write sooo very badly#🩹#💬#i love my job it's not hard and the people there are like family#job is not the issue for those wondering#Does anyone have any experience with failing a college class?#I'd love to hear from another person's perspective#Because to me this is the worst thing I've ever experienced
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terrible
#the rest of the episode is so conveluted and stressful but the way it ends is just this simple moment of morty being overwhelmed with relie#that he’s really with rick. literally just that . he barely even let him finish saying define irreplaceable#god i love how fine rick is with being hugged here#hes literally Just confused#sigh .morty you little bitch please let him hug you#u have no clue how badly he would love to#i love how morty was completely fine with doing whatever it took with the fear hole Until it involved rick#in literally any way the entire time. he gets defensive when fearhole rick suggests that he’s scared of rick not caring about him as much#anymore. the thing that completely terrifies him throughout it is the possibility of rick dying in the hole. how shaken he is by his#realisation at the end that it really was about him the entire time and his biggest fear at this point is to do with rick#ok well. i like to think after this episode they watched a nice movie or something#cause rick was like i can tell the dennys hole thing really shook you up wanna watch this thing#i Really want them back#odiespeak
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