#do i need therapy?

[tenderyellowbluefics]

I’m so unbelievably not normal about James with a mullet it’s concerning.

[weaselfactoryex]

The insatiable urge to draw Huinjogjebi is back sorry

[bleopie]

I hid in the house I've burned countless of times, and wonder why I'm hurting.

— probably a piece from my journal <3

[ezekielonlysleptfor2hourd]

🪐THEORY TIME

(Okay okay!, I’m back from crying over TBW)

The demon, who had given blood to Albus. He is like really old, and he knew about Sub Delta. Also, the blade that has the 10,000 souls. Maybe Albus had taken in the 10,000 souls and yet the demon couldn’t take control for a little.

Was Sub Delta the first? Cause the, maybe that has been in a work for centuries. (Also, I think I remember Good boy audio said that Bastard Vs Zombie where connect with the other universes, in including Pandora.. probably? Correct if I’m wrong)

So what if (I’m only thinking out the box. I probably way off) the gods in Pandora series, they lost their place in Mount Olympus cause of humanity? Did Karmor (BvsZ listener) cause it or was a part of it? Did humans somehow take the power of the gods? Was L.A.I do similar things like the Triad?

Is Karmor like a bastard or simple to a bastard? How powerful was Karmor with his voice? Could he had reshaped the world. What if Karmor was like Kerano (the young girl Faithless saved). Is Karmor a god-killer? Hold up, will kerano have power? Or will get some type of power?

[madohomuisgay123]

Sketeton? Yes you yes sketeton is you si ni yes gang you what is operaction yes you is sketeton disorter heybell ride the lighting yes I'm no wow metallica meow yes sketeton korn wow corn slip yes knot shush foo no fighters meow kurt running to yes fangs vampire dark nonchalant dreadlocks head yes shut no nirvana best for whom the bells tolls shush no goody me wow woof arf draw sigma no skibidi no it's a nonchalant dread head oh em gee hush hush hush meow sketeton dave Minecraft yes td td brickwalls and jojo siwa meow Marcy wu getting stabbed by king andrias live 4k Sasha falling down Anne turning into leaves 4k live deaths dying lol lol period dancing black swan meowing marky wu barking and tap dancing I'm literally tap dancing on my limited addition Dora the explora shoes on saturns rings while live at YouTube and getting thousands of views because I'm sigma literally an alpha and your a skibidi not a toilet man twitching while on the ground dog are cool but cats are best cats cats cats meow meow meow meow yes ik I'm a cat I like being a cat cuz their cool yep ik I can be cool too ya know hush hush hush ik I'm noisy woisy no I'm not yep ik I'm falling down the stairs like Mari from omori yes Mari we know you dead we know that uh huh uh huh bloody heck man ugh brooky spooky haaha I see sketeton twerking on the sun dancing singing boneless skinless haha pov pov pov wow wow ow meow meow meow when? Huh. Ik I'm sigma did I say that a thousand times now? Yes okay well I don't care ahha until wait- toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart- no not this. Turip? Ip? Ip? Ip? Tuna ip? Ip? Turip? Ip? Madoka! Please don't go! Sorry but I have to go meet the others now, make sure to take care of your self okay? Madookaaaaasrrr!! Siahfudj. You can't become a magical girl!! Nuh uh! F- you mean "Nuh uh"?! I mean no you fugly bish :3 Madoka don't go!! Dw bro you'll always be my bestfriend :3 I thought we were dating!!! Do do do do do do do do do do! Lalalalalalalalalalaaalala!! Meow meow meow!!! I don't have crickets :'O sorry bbg but business is business B) wow beans beans beans jessie ate some beans he was happy happy happy that he ate some beans, hahaha what, what are you talking about I'm not crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once, I was locked in a room, a rubber room, a rubber room with rats, and rats made me crazy,.... Idk one two.. Ten thousand. Huehah. Meow? Hehe.. Meow.. Hahaha.. Arghh... Bleee.. Bleeepp.... Blooaappp.... Meow....

[ghostlyboysstories]

Me: “I should write something. How about-“

My beta reader: “No major character deaths.”

Me: *sighs*

Me: (muttering) “This is betrayal. They need to anguish over each other.”

My beta reader: “You’re just an angsty mother fucker. Why can’t you write fluff just one time?”

Me: “Because making my characters suffer reminds me that my life is not as difficult as theirs is.”

My beta reader: “…sounds like you need therapy.”

Me: “I would if I could afford it.”

[hardieworth]

Ok, what’s up with the cartoons that I watched as a kid releasing new episodes about dealing with a normal life after an avalanche of trauma that forces the characters to take therapy sessions?

[korxus]

My friend handed me chocolate once and I immediately asked them if they poisoned it

[colaboyxbepis]

Is it just me or am I suddenly feeling depressed and suicidal? Like, idk what happened but I am not doing okay. /gen /srs

Was it the things I said? Am I feeling just really guilty? Am I over-reacting? I think I'm having some sort of lovechild of a panic attack and a mental breakdown. I'm supposed to be sleeping and I'm over here crying and trying to express my feelings on TUMBLR.

Can anyone give any advice on dealing with this? Is this a serious issue? I have tests tomorrow, I need help, and I need it fast. I'm already stressed, I'm still going through puberty so my life is quite a mess, I'm demotivated to do anything and I feel like shit.

I'M SORRY, I SOUND ATTENTION GRABBING, I JSUT NEEDED TO SAYE SOEMTHING SORRYYYYYYY /gen

I CAN'T TRYPE I'M EGYTEING OVERWHELPMED

[chaoticmango04]

y’all y was I wasting my time with mha when link click exists?!?

[pompompurin-123]

I just don’t think I like myself. I’m happy but if I had to be friends with myself I probably wouldnt. I don’t understand why my gf likes me, I’m not attractive or funny and I don’t have anything interesting to stay. I stumble on my words whenever I speak and my stories are dull so usually it just ends in awkward silence.

[bleopie]

I need to breath and take my lungs out for a swim, and work until I'm weary enough to not wake up,

for it is easier to believe in God than to believe my own ability to live for myself.

[blackandbeautifulgirl]

It feels like the end of the world every week in my 20s. Is this normal or do I need therapy?

[ionomycin]

phoenix and the priestess

[asmrrpaddict]

Putting this into the void where no one I know personally can find it.

So long venting post ahead that I don’t have anywhere else to put. Please ignore unless you just want to read about a little mental break through/down.

I just finished this video (which you should listen to btw, it’s so good, Your Rival Opens up to You from Your Stupid Boy Audios, really cool guy, give him a listen) about the speaker’s mom going through what I’m assuming to be Alzheimer’s/dementia.

My grandma went through the same thing in 2015/2016. Before that my mom and I had been taking care of her since 2006 when I was 12. Everything had been about making sure she was ok. Dr. Appts with 3-5 different doctors, home nurses, making her meals, meals being delivered to us for some reason that I still have no clue how they started, getting her to take her meds, the multi-year battle that ended in defeat to get her to stop smoking, my mom being investigated by aps and cps because we made a distant cousin stop buying my grandmother cigarettes and she got mad and made grossly false claims. Then there were gallbladder surgeries (mine and my grandma’s), a quadruple bypass heart surgery, putting in a pacemaker to regulate her heart, putting stints in both legs at different points, having her blood sugar drop to 29 and had to be airlifted to a hospital 2 hours away while we drove, watching and listening to her coughing up blood a couple days before the heart surgery was supposed to happen and going 20 minutes to the local hospital, sitting there forever, then driving 2 hours to the other hospital at like 2 am, then telling us they are doing the surgery the next morning. Thus sitting in an unfamiliar and crowded hospital for hours. Sitting though arguments about how if she kept smoking she was going to die, one time being told by a doctor being to that if we hadn’t gotten her to the ER when we did, she wouldn’t have made it though the night, having her losing all but a very small amount of blood coursing through her because she had an internal gi bleed, mini strokes, a broken hip that landed her with a walker for the rest of her life, unknown number of trips to the hospital for dehydration because she would forget to drink water, even more seemingly endless fights about her smoking, her telling me (at 14-16 years old) not to tell my mom that she was smoking even though I knew it could kill her, and having her trying to light one while sitting with her oxygen tank (which could cause it to explode, for those who are unfamiliar).

All of this while I’m going through middle school, high school, and half of college. My mom working a full time job, taking care of her, me, our house, spending one summer coaching my softball team, getting her bachelors degree, and her master’s degree, making sure that I was always taken care of and loved, which I knew and I felt. My aunts and uncles doing minimal work living 2 and 6 hours away. I went through and became certified to take care of her as a provider so I could have a job and go to college.

Then the last month and a half of her life was probably the hardest. She got an infection in her foot. The hospital inserted a picc line where my mom and I had to give her bags of fluids through it at home, but nothing helped, so she was going to have to have part of her foot removed, but before that dementia hit hard and fast, there was watching her struggle to keep memories, having home hospice give us pamphlets explaining the warning signs of a person in the last stages of their life including the day she could pass, thinking my mom was her mom, not remembering me, having her be in a nursing home for a week or two and taking her out because it was an awful facility and we couldn’t stand having her there, watching her sleep for 2 days without getting up no matter what we did. My mom and I could never leave the house together. Someone always had to be with her because if she tried to get up, she would fall, except one night we found a service that sent a nurse to watch her for a couple of hours and my mom and I went to Applebees.

There was one day. January 13th 2016, where she was up, lucid, and alert. She got out of bed (with help) and sat at our kitchen table and ate lunch. That was a good day.

I tried so hard to make sure I didn’t have to be a priority for my mom to stress over. Sometimes I couldn’t help it, didn’t do well in a couple classes, needed money for things like prom or hanging out with friends, but I tried. This basically giving me the family label of “the one who’s always ok.” And I’m… well, ok with that. But the ending of the video I mention 2 miles up at the beginning of this post made me realize something. Something I didn’t realize I needed then until now.

I needed an outside party to just hold me and let me know they were there. I was never the type to need those things back then. I never asked my mom because she was losing, then lost her mom, her last living parent. My cousins all lived 2 to 6 hours away, my dad lived hours away, he gave his condolences, but he had just lost his mom the month before.

When my grandma passed in 2016, I felt blank, still do most of the time. I was sad of course, but I think I had just been suppressing everything in me, even now, that I felt nothing when it comes to many things. I didn’t know how to feel. I cried, I had a dream that it was false and she was still alive, but everything was and is so tight down in my stomach, I don’t even know what I feel.

Having not been in a relationship nor having any close enough friends to ask for platonic cuddles, then even until now when I’m 30 and still single with no friends, I don’t know what to do but make this long ass post. I was sitting in my office with silent tears realizing I needed affection from someone who wasn’t as close to the situation as another family member. I needed someone whose only priority was me. I know that sounds selfish, but still.

Aaaaaannnnnddddd I think I just found out why I love asmr rp videos. 😬😅

Alright, I’m gonna go find a therapist. (Not really)

[groggthebarbarian]

Is it bad that when I look at sandals, I rate them by how bad I think they would hurt if they were thrown at me?