#im having an internal crisis

[sweetteyam]

no cos this is me rn and IM TRYING SO HARDD TO GO BACK TO AVATAR BUT SPIDERVERSE IS TAKING A HUGE TOLL ON ME😭😭

like i needa finish reading some fics but i keep getting distracted by hobie and miguel and miles and oh my days😊

[erinwantstowrite]

hey so obviously peter is pretty clueless about his feelings towards ned but once he figures it out is he going to be like “oh this makes so much sense” and just kind of accept it or is he going to have more of a crisis about liking boys

bc obviously we know he’s not homophobic but it’s different when it’s yourself

i come from a super supportive family so when i figured i liked girls i was just like “huh, okay” and moved on but like with peter and his experience with skip and i don’t know how supportive some of his other families were in the foster system, is it going to be more of a existential crisis for him? like internalized homophobia

i don't have it fully fleshed out yet because i know things will change once i finally get there (it's a SLOOWWWWWBURN) but i do think about this a LOT. because while i do like to avoid writing romance, when i do write it, i want to do it right. so i often think about what peter's realization will be (keeping that part to myself teehee) and how he'll deal with it

it's less of an internalized homophobia that he has to conquer and more of like... he never even considered this an option. he never had the time or mental capacity to think about this sort of thing before. life moved fast and he was always in the middle of a grieving period or some crazy superhero shit just happened to him. he didn't stop to think about his sexuality or potential romance beyond a "well one day I'll think about it" so when the moment does happen where he's thinking about it, he's struck with the fact that he knows basically nothing about how romantic love applies to himself.

at this point he knows he can be loved by friends and family, but romance? it's a whole new ballgame and he has NOT been paying attention to the rules. he thought he was just watching from the sidelines, cheering other people on. he thought he had far more many years to figure it out

he knows what love is- he can thank Ben and May for that (and on some level, his parents, though he only knows of his parents' love through how Ben and May described them). Peter's example of two people who love each other is almost entirely based on the love Ben and May had, and Ben and May are the type of people that made other people believe in soulmates. they completed each other in a way that was impossible to comprehend fully. where one was, the other was there. Peter understands romance through them, but there are other adults in his life that are in love. Tony and Pepper are a little unconventional and Peter doesn't fully understand their dynamic sometimes, but they love each other. and depending on who our ships are (tbh I haven't fully thought them through because it doesn't really matter to our plot), Peter sees other Avengers find love too and express it in a multitude of different ways. and when he looks at the Bats?? jesus christ. i think we all know how that goes. Bruce has more messy exes than anyone ever on the planet so Peter has already been told not to look there for an example. Dick too, is not immune to that, despite being in a committed relationship with Wally. Tim has two boyfriends and... whatever he has going on with Cassie and Bart at some point, as well as having many many exes. Steph is literally one of the exes and Peter doesn't know if the two's relationship now is normal or out of the ordinary or something to strive for. he won't ask because he's not nearly there

so Peter i think... is going to be overwhelmed and not know what to do next. Ned is his first best friend, someone that he clicked with immediately. and while i do hint at a puppy crush between the two of them (where Ned is far more aware than Peter is, the poor guy), their relationship is foundational in friendship. Peter is going to be more freaked out about ruining that than finding out he's bi. he won't have a clue what to do and i honestly think (at least right now this is what i plan) he is going to be far too embarrassed to admit to anyone he has a crush. like???? forget about asking Bruce, he obviously doesn't know. Asking any of his parents (save MAYBE Pepper) would be an immediate no because 1) that's like asking him to jump out of a plane with no parachute and 2) if they give him The Talk 🐦🐝 he will die and everyone else will die and no. scratch asking literally anyone else on the JL or in the Avengers. sure, he'll trust them to save his life. but trusting them to not give bad advice or tease him or accidentally tell someone else or snitch to his parents? nah. that leaves only two people on the planet who Peter could confide to, both who knew before Peter knew (not hard to do): MJ and Felicia

which is so unbelievably funny and y'all don't even know WHY it's so funny to me yet. but I love them so much

[watmalik]

what the fuck is this

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about that just how powerful charles is and just how fucked it would be if other Charles' could telepath his other universe' kids?

Logan's just sitting at the counter in wades apartment and is about to start smoking again but then gets thrown into some phycodelic trance. From the outside, he's just sitting there staring off into space, probably drooling, but in here, he gets thrown into a desk, and he instantly gets up like "Awww shit- No-"

And there he is, standing at that stupid chalkboard, and he tsks at him while leaning back on a desk. "Ooh, my dear boy. Class is now in session."

"Oh god-"

"Sit."

Logans like hesitant and Charles just gives him this LOOK and he sits like the good puppy he is.

"What did I do now? Don't tell me you're giving me detention beyond the dead."

Xavier just smirks and is like "You're far too clever to believe that do you?"

Messes with him really bad.

"So. Why do you think you're here today?"

"Because I accidently did cocaine and now im tripping balls."

"Demerits. You always did struggle with appropriate language, didn't you, Logan?"

"Alright this is really freaking me out."

"What is a mind that is not willing to explore the uncomfortable?"

"What does that even mean!?"

"How is one supposed to overcome their own struggles if they can not come to understanding of their own being?"

"Okay now I know you're chuck because he never made sense either."

All while Wade is like "Peanut? Woohooo? Wolvie? Well shit ill have what hes having. Puppy power! Go!" And picks up puppins to make her try to lick him back into consciousness all while mentally hes being lectured on how he came so far and did so well to better himself, so why become a worse role model now for those around him?

It ends with Logan having a breakdown and venting to charles, and things change again to be in his office and him, laying his head in his wheel chair, petting his head, consoling him.

"Oh my child.. you always were so troubled. So baffled in your own person."

Logan looks up to him with teary eyes and a look that just shows the little boy in him and hes like "..I still dont know what you're talking about.." while shaking his head softly.

He just smiles at him and says, "You will. You always do. You just take longer than the others, but you'll get it. You were and always will be one of my best pupils, Logan. The student became the teacher. But now the teacher must learn a few more lessons before facing peace."

Then suddenly when he comes too, hes sobbing and his face is soaked with both tears and puppy spit, he has goosebumps and hes panting with such wide, scared eyes.

"Holy shit- what just happened?" And before he can even awnser Wade he throws the cigar at the wall and sobs with his hands gripping his hair, heaving.

"I just got mind fucked by a dead old man!"

"Aww not fair :( I wanna be mind fucked by an old man"

"Trust me. You dont. You really REALLY dont."

[mamawasatesttube]

one of those nights again...

[yuyuisabookworm]

[ittybittybumblebee]

i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

[johnconn]

Sigzai vs skk discourse is insane for number of reasons actually. listen i think sigzai is really cute and shit and i dont mind it at all but you have to have something wrong with you to think both of these actually compete in any way. Skk is literally ingrained as part of bsd lore whereas sigzai started as a borderline crack ship. Thats just my opinion tho. Peace and love

[good-beanswrites]

Could you write a drabble for Mikoto and Shidou plus Blood? This request miiight be inspired by the fact that Mikoto mentions his body hurting a lot but doesn't seem to be receiving any medical treatment, either because Mahiru and Fuuta take priority or because there's no obvious cause, and therefore cure, to his pain...

👀👀👀 Thank you, this is such a good combo ough!! It's so interesting how much focus the others get when it comes to physical health, since Mikoto has clearly complained of his condition :( It looks like Milgram is trying to push the idea that he's completely oblivious to his alters, but I spun it where he's aware, just deep in denial. So have some Mikoto angst to get us hyped for Double!

Mikoto should be grateful. He was lucky. That’s what he kept repeating to himself. He had both of his eyes intact. Both his arms. He was strong enough to walk around freely. He wasn’t on the verge of death, or collapse. Thus, he should be grateful no one was offering him any help, because it meant he didn’t need it. He repeated it again. Maybe this time he would believe it.

With a groan, his body rolled out of bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up actually feeling rested. Everything ached. His muscles tightened with soreness. His throat felt as raw as his knuckles, though he hadn’t been using either. He had no desire to lift his arms over his head, or twist around too much, so he didn’t change out of yesterday’s uniform. Maybe the belts and buckles had made it difficult to sleep. The theory wasn’t a convincing one, but dwelling on things like that had never gotten him anywhere.

He ran his fingers once through his hair, combing out a bit of the mess. Looking in a mirror was the last thing he needed. He made his way to the dining hall. 

The others trickled in for breakfast. His appetite, at least, hadn’t suffered. He hardly noticed the others giving him wide-eyed stares. What were they expecting? Of course he was looking worse for wear, given the circumstances. He ignored them, glad to focus on the hot meal before him.

A hand weighed heavy on his shoulder.

“Mikoto,” Shidou’s voice may have remained calm, but it was urgent. “Do you need some help?”

“Huh?” He shrugged his hand away, offering a weak smile. “I’m fine! Oh, I think Kazui was saving a seat for you over there, if you --”

“-- How about we go to my cell for a moment? Or yours, if that would be more comfortable.”

What was everyone’s problem this morning? Mikoto did his best to keep his voice pleasant. “Really, man, I’m good.” 

Shidou’s expression remained unmoving. Very carefully, he informed him, “you’re bleeding. Pretty badly by the look of it. You’re coming with me.” 

Mikoto blinked. He looked over his shoulder, following Shidou’s gaze. The back of his uniform was torn across the center. A significant splotch of blood seeped into the material, growing even larger as he shifted to see it. 

“...Oh…” 

Back in Shidou’s cell, sad to have left his breakfast plate behind, he slumped into a chair. Shidou gathered together some supplies. As always, he got right to the point. “What happened?”

“I… I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything from last night. I don’t remember most nights, recently. I know that sounds crazy, but…”

“It’s fine. I have definitely heard crazier.” He smiled, something gentle and reassuring. As usual, there was something hidden behind his eyes. It was as if he already knew what Mikoto was up to late at night that earned him so much soreness the following days. He didn’t offer an explanation, though. Mikoto didn’t press him for one.

He winced as he was helped out of his uniform. Removing his shirt revealed the mysterious gash. Shidou’s eyes widened at the array of scratches and scars. Some were fresh, but most originated long before Milgram. Though he didn’t ask, Mikoto answered.

“I’m pretty clumsy, huh?” Maybe this time he would believe it. 

Shidou was kind enough to pretend to. “Here, allow me…”

Shidou got to work cleaning and dressing the injuries. Mikoto closed his eyes. Even though the disinfectant stung, and sometimes those gloved fingers pressed a little two hard, it felt nice to have things patched up. 

“Is there anything else going on? Are you feeling pain anywhere else?”

Mikoto could have laughed. He didn’t. “I’m just sore. And my head’s been killing me, but I’m used to migraines. Perks of the verdict, I’m sure.”

Shidou hummed in thought. 

“Thanks, by the way. I’ll try to be more careful.” Not that he had much choice in the matter, it seemed. But he’d do his best. 

Shidou kept his face straight, but there were traces of pain in his voice. “I will too. I’m sorry, Mikoto. If I had known… I’ve been distracted lately, but I should have paid closer attention.”

“It’s fine,” he flashed a grin. “I know the others are pretty fucked up. And I’m not dying or anything. I’m lucky, you know?”

“I wouldn’t say so. Doctors don’t only treat the dying.”

Mikoto frowned. 

It didn’t take much longer to finish treatment. Shidou gave him a few instructions about the bandages, then offered him a clean shirt. “You’re good to go. I’ll be checking in more often, now. I’ll see if I can find something for your head.” 

“Thanks. Really.”

He returned Mikoto’s torn uniform. “You should talk to Es about getting a new one. Until then, you’ll want to clean this with --”

Mikoto waved a dismissive hand, heading out of the cell. “Don’t worry, I know how to wash blood out of my clothes. Er, that sounds bad. I’m just a clutz, yeah? The blood’s always been my own.”

Maybe this time he would believe it.

[citrinitxs]

“ Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. ” | kaeya thinking about messing with albedo ASDJAKLFJ

STARTER ACCEPTED FROM: ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

"... Aren't you one already?"

To be fair, ALBEDO knew that the comment he said was less genuine and more of a light jab. He knew KAEYA's behavior enough that the Cavalry Captain would take pleasure in teasing him, but to think he'd say that...

"I'm surprised you can say that so casually," the blonde adds, his focus returning to his work. "Are you planning something devious, ALBERICH?"

If he is, so help Barbatos, he might not have the decency in him to remain.. Cordial.

[agayconcept]

gotta love having a domino-like flareup of every single chronic illness and comorbidity u have to the point of being debilitated by pain and weakness and totally bedbound bc of it but also having a brain that wont stop screeching bc ur body wont let u keep meds (or almost any sustenance) down so ur off the thing that keeps u sane oh and also ur insanely dehydrated now and havent slept in going on 5 days and if ur stupid meatsuit doesn't allow u to rest v v soon ur gonna end up in a hospital like the last time this happened

[v1xv4p0rub]

I hate this. I don't want a romantic relationship or situationship or anything like that- I just want a friend I can platonically flirt with (and be flirted with) in a way that seems romantic but isn't. Give me the comfort of recognizing that I'm not ostracized and can have people interested in me just like most of my other friends without the pressure of having to reciprocate anything.

Call me a pretty boy, tell me you love me, make some flirty comment and tease me when I get embarrassed by it, hold me, hold me

[nest-being]

fat people will have the craziest most intense eating disorders and some straight sized person will still come along and say shit like, just eat less and exercise uwu, as if so many of us aren't already starving ourselves daily

[lupismaris]

The fun thing about writing werewolf packs is coming up with all the different pack dynamics, your baseline is typically going to be found family of some sorts but eventually you end up hitting the point where you've got a dumpster fire of a semi forced found family on your hands

They love each other to the ends of the earth, but at what cost

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

guys I'm feeling a little bisexual in this chili's tonight

[mxlfoydraco]

I totally agree about not being able to see Draco as anything but gay, the same happens to me with Sirius, not just that also maybe demisexual..?? Like he needs to know someone very well and be friends before a relationship can form. So in conclusion I headcanon Remus and Harry as bi, Draco as gay, and Sirius as gay demisexual.

I agree! I can’t see Sirius as anything but gay either and reading him as demisexual feels right. You know that flashback of him laughing with Remus about the werewolf question in their OWLs? There’s a girl watching him all hopeful during the exam and its hilarious to me because Sirius doesn’t even notice. He’s probably sitting there plotting how he’ll tease Remus when they finish…. Priceless.

Harry is definitely bi for me but I go back and forth with Remus, he gives the comphet vibe as well.