#im gonna steal you from buck

[kenneth-black]

Does it ever drive you crazy…

…just how fast the night changes 🥹

[coatl-cuddles]

Heya!! Is your closed species server still open? I'll love to join!!

Hi anonnnn! If you're asking about these freaks, then the server is currently closed because we're about to enter ✨️ Open Beta ✨️!!

If you're some random user you might be wondering wtf I'm talking abt but tldr I made a species that instead of doing trait items instead you can draw your characters fused with others to trade traits. It's a whole thing low-key fun low-key kinda cool!!

If you're interested in any other species I ever made I'm so sorry to say that they no longer exist so feel free to just steal the idea and copy it if its one of my previous ones lolol

In the meantime I have these freaks!!

[fakeuwus]

MANEATER | SIM JAEYUN (M)

PAIRING: virgin!jake x yn (femreader)

SYNOPSIS: in which jake is tired of being a virgin and you're asked to help him out.

WARNINGS: smut so MDNI! vrignity loss, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe out there), creampie, riding, multiple orgasms, etc. cursing, words like slut/whore, BARELY PROOFREAD

WC: 5k, lowercase intended

MESSAGE FROM NIC: here it finally is!! (sorry for the delay) my first piece of smut,,, hope it's what everyone imagined 😁 (also tysm for 2k notes on the teaser ahh!!) big thank u to my stella, @karinasbaby for encouraging this fic, one of my biggest supporters ilysm. pls be kind as this is something new for me BUT feedback is super appreciated, tell me what u liked and didn't like! (respectfully) also reblogs would be nice as well so feel free to drop one. love u guys sm 🫶🏼

jake sim was a virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and it’s not like he was ugly. not even close to that. jake was an attractive guy, easy on the eyes. and his flirting? a real smooth talker he was.

it was as if 2000s chad michael murray possessed his very soul every single time he would chat up a girl at a party or in class. 

so why couldn't he ever close the deal? how did he find himself in a steamy makeout session one second and then the next the girl is storming out of the room in disgust. every. single. time.

oh yea, because he was a fucking virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. 

it seemed like girls these days wanted a man in charge. someone who could help them live out their fifty shades of grey fantasies. jake would like to think he could do that for them but how could he ever learn if no one wanted to give him the time of day? what happened to the girls that would spread their legs for anything and anyone?

all jake needed was one chance. one chance to stick his dick in a hole and he can move on with his life. 

his friends didn't make it any better either. he was getting tired of hearing all about their wild sexcapades every week and having nothing to contribute to the conversation.

but they don’t intentionally leave him out or make him feel bad about his lack of experience. they even try getting him with their past hookups because you know, sharing is caring right? 

“dude no way you fumbled sora. she’s a real slut i was so sure she would let you hit,” sunghoon says as he’s unwrapping his sandwich then taking a bite. “bro i didn't fumble anything. it's the same shit every time, once i tell them im a virgin they dip,” jake responds while he steals sunghoon’s sandwich and takes a bite for himself.

sunghoon doesn't even argue, his best friend is clearly in distress and is need of some food. “she started ranting about how she doesnt “do” virgins because they get attached and she thinks im gonna become obsessed with her or something.”

“why do you even tell them you’re a virgin in the first place? if that's the issue why even say anything at all?” heeseung questions with a mouth full of the same sandwich that somehow now ended up in his hands.

“because if he cums in .2 seconds then the girls are gonna think he’s a bad fuck. there's no winning here.” jake nods in agreement with jay's statement as he watches jay snatch the sandwich from heeseung and finish it off.

this is what is so beautiful about their friendship. they share everything with each other, the main things being girls and food. unfortunately for jake, bites of food is all he gets.

—-----------------

“oh fuck!” jakes pants while bucking his hips forward. vision blurry, drool pooling around the corner of his mouth. he genuinely feels like his soul is leaving his body and he wasn’t sure this was even real life anymore. to ground himself and bring him back to reality, he tries looking around the room to find something to distract him.

he doesn’t want to cum embarrassingly fast and he does NOT want to be seen as a bad fuck. out of the corner of his eye he spots a baby yoda squishmallow in the corner of the room, its sparkly eyes watching jake get his dick sucked for the first time.

it’s kind of weird but he finds comfort in the plushie and focuses on it to keep him from fucking exploding. 

now you might be wondering how he got here. in a hot girl’s room getting what he swears is the best head in his life (not that he has anything to compare it to.) the answer is jay, his best friend in the entire world who he now owes his first born to. 

“her name’s yn. just text her and ask when she wants to meet. i told her you were a virgin already so don’t worry about that,” jay explains as he’s scrolling through your profile showing jake what you look like.

silky, flowy hair, curves to die for. to say you’re gorgeous would be an understatement. the whole ordeal seemed too good to be true.

“she wants to fuck me? even after hearing i’m a virgin?” jake asks after grabbing his milk tea from the counter and walking towards a table.

jay simply nods and throws a look towards sunghoon, signaling him to explain the rest as they all take a seat. “yea that’s kind of her thing. she loves virgins. like, her body count consists of only virgins.”

jake was perplexed by the situation. surely he’d hear about a beautiful woman who only drops her panties for inexperienced guys roaming their campus.

heeseung then speaks up, as if reading jake’s mind, “she goes to the college in the next town over. around a 20 minute drive.” before continuing his sentence he shifts his eyes towards jay and sunghoon. eyeballs darting back and forth.

some unspoken dialogue is happening between the three as they sip their sweet drinks and jake just has to sit there and watch. minutes go by and jay clears his throat and sighs, finally breaking the silence.

“she uh, actually took all of our virginities back in high school. that’s how we know her.” 

pause. the fuck? he knew his friends all have gotten their dicks wet for the same girl before but at the same time? jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. i mean, he did only just meet them three years ago, whatever they were up to before then he can’t judge.

he supposes desperate times call for desperate measures, and jake is sure he would’ve ended up in the same situation soon if they weren’t handing you on a silver platter to him.

“so… you guys had a foursome for your first times??”

heeseung instantly chokes on his boba as jake’s arm receives a punch from jay. a faint giggle is heard from sunghoon, “this bitch is choking on some balls.”

ignoring heeseung’s dramatics jay clarifies, “no you idiot, she took all of our virginities separately. we weren’t as desperate as you were.”

“and like, that pussy is so heavenly. i’d be pissed having to share her with another guy at the same time.” 

“roger that, brother.”

jake looks towards the two, sunghoon rubbing heeseung’s back trying to calm him down from his almost near death over some balls. 

“care to elaborate?” 

“man why do you think we’re all sex crazed freaks? her pussy’s got some voodoo magic in it or something. our manhood didn’t begin when we watched porn for the first time together, it started with her,” jay pauses and shifts in his seat, slight discomfort in his lower region.

he looks up and pinches his nose, “fuck i’m getting hard just thinking about it.” sneaking a peek at jay’s lower half, jake can see his friend chubbing it up in his pants. nothing he’s never seen before honestly. 

but what he hadn't seen before was how his friends were reminiscing so hard on a hook up the way they were right now. and the fact that their origin story of discovering their high libidos is all because of you? he was scared shitless of what he was about to get himself into.

-------------------

fast forward to some exchanged texts between you guys, jake found himself in your room with his pants around his ankles getting the life sucked out of him.

he quickly discovered you were very straightforward and to the point, immediately sending him your apartment address and what time to show up.

jake couldn’t argue though, all this talk about how you were gonna “change his life” and shit got him real worked up. he appreciated the fact that you skipped the small talk and went straight for his dick.

upon arriving and stepping into your living space, your lips smashed onto his and he was pushed down onto the bed. no hi, no hello. just your lucious, full lips swapping spit with his.

his hands instinctively flew to your waist, his digits gripping your plush skin as you straddle him. jake felt so in his element in the moment. making out? this is where he excels. he could do this all day if he could.

but he was here on a mission and he’ll be damned if he leaves without fucking you. or you fucking him. he was honestly down for whatever. you could ask to peg him and he would say yes.

you can sense his impatience, his face twisting in pleasure trying to savor every moment while the cogs are turning in his head, awaiting your next move. every squeeze he gave signaled that he wanted to get things moving.

you make your way down his body, peppering kisses any and everywhere leaving his skin burning. jake couldn’t believe what was about to happen.

in less than a minute he was about to get his first blowjob ever. what does he do? where do his hands go? what if he chokes you? what if he passes out from the stimulation?

before he can think of anymore what to do’s and what if’s, your mouth is on his dick and jake is seeing stars, figuratively and literally. he takes note of the little ones taped to your ceiling and thinks it’s cute.

the pink walls and plushies surrounding the two of you is such a stark contrast to your personality, or what little jake knows of you. but hey, he likes a woman with some duality to her.

“you can put your hands in my hair.”

jake finally takes a look down at you. pupils blown out, lips a bit swollen from all the sucking. you looked so, so pretty like this. he can only imagine what you look like with his cock in you.

trembling hands grab at your hair, slightly pushing you further down and a gagging noise emerges from the back of your throat. oh shit. your nose is practically meeting his pelvic bone and you aren’t letting up.

fuck it, jake thinks to himself. he was done with being patient. he starts fucking up into your mouth relentlessly, chasing the orgasm he was delaying. and you just let him.

you’re merely a hole for him in this moment and you could care less. his dick may be average in size but the girthiness of it was so delicious, you couldn’t get enough.

to make sure he reaches his high, you reach for his balls and start playing with them. his erratic thrusts combined with you squeezing his genitals he twitches in your mouth and his cum is shooting out, pooling out the sides of your lips.

and you don’t stop there. you keep going and going and jake actually feels like he’s going to pass out. “okay, okay please please!” you swallow everything he gave you and finally let him go with a pop to come up for air.

you get up and see him lying there on your bed, unmoving. eyes closed and mouth agape barely taking breaths. one might think he’s dead but this was typical.

once a guy gets to cum in a girl’s mouth for the first time they don’t know what to do with themselves. nudging him with your knee he breaks out of his trance with a lopsided smile adorning his face. god he’s adorable.

before you can suggest a break he immediately grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your back. your shorts go flying onto the floor behind him and he spreads your legs wide to prop them onto his shoulders.

his tongue immediately attaches to your clit and he starts licking you all over. slurping and sucking, as if this was his last meal on earth. he was desperate to get you to cum the way you made him and it was showing.

jake’s eating you out a little too expertly to your liking, as if he’s done this a million times. you won’t judge if he has, you’re literally the last person to judge someone’s sexual history but how is he still a virgin if he eats pussy this good?

he must’ve been met with horrible women who just used him for his mouth and left him dry. you wouldn’t do that to him though, poor guy doesn’t deserve that.

he inserts two fingers into your hole while his mouth was still working your clit. jesus christ. you didn’t notice before but his fingers were so slender and long, reaching places your own didn’t. “am i doing okay? kind of my first time.”

oh? so this was his first time eating pussy. you simply give him a nod of approval, not being able to utter a word as he dives right back in.

in all of your sexual encounters, never has there been a guy so willing to return the favor. and the fact that you didn’t even have to ask? where the fuck did jay find a guy like this? was he aware his friend was a fucking certified munch?

determined to make sure you cum, jake inserts another finger and moves his fingers in an upward motion, trying to find your spot. at least that’s what wikihow told him how to do it.

the sound of your moans and the taste of your pussy on his tongue simply feel amazing and he feels like he could come alone like this. at this point you’re panting and riding his fingers and god it’s so hot. you’re so hot.

jake finds himself humping into the mattress, trying to aid his painful hard on he’s grown since going down on you.

his wrist begins to ache with how fast he’s pumping into you but he doesn’t give a fuck, he’ll do anything to see what you look like when you reach your high.

“oh god, i’m, i’m- ahhh!” you come undone onto his mouth and hand, lips forming an o shape with the most pornographic moan he’s ever heard and he silently releases his load along with you onto the bed.

jake makes sure every single drop of your delicious juices are all licked up, driving your oversensitivity.

“so? how was i?”

you take a look at his annoyingly cute face and he’s licking all over his fingers like a lollipop. cute. gaining some of your composure, your eyes spot a wet spot on your sheets.

“wait, did you…”

“oh. sorry about that. i couldn’t help it.” jake explains with a sheepish smile and a scratch behind his head. not only is this guy a munch but he came untouched while tongue fucking you. you weren’t even sure guys like him existed, like at all.

without speaking another word, you grab the back of his neck and smash your lips onto his. tasting yourself on him has you wet all over again and you both begin to undress each other.

you detach yourself to take your shirt off and he pauses to fully look at you, drinking in every inch of your body. hands grab at your boobs and he pinches a nipple, a small moan escaping your mouth.

your body was literally to die for, the pictures on your profile barely doing you justice. and to finally be able to feel all around your curves and give your boods and ass tight squeezes was a dream come true for jake.

(he may or may not have been jerking off to the few posts you have up, counting down the days of you guys finally meeting but you didn’t have to know that)

you also took a moment to admire his body. to say jake was sculpted like a fucking greek god was an understatement, sporting a six pack and biceps to die for. veins running all over his arms and hands.

deciding it’s finally time to do the deed, you switch positions and motion for him to lay on his back. “are you ready?”

“wait! what about a condom?”

“i’m clean and i know you are so…”

“right.”

you throw your legs over his waist, now straddling him with your vagina inches from his cock. “okay, take deep breaths. i’m gonna slowly go down alright?”

jake throws a thumbs up and eagerly nods. in a moment like this he doesn’t fail to be endearing. you could literally just eat him up with how cute he was. your pussy was about to anyway.

you lace your fingers with his and slowly lower yourself onto him. there’s some intimacy with your actions and jake finds comfort in your eyes, looking at him adoringly.

it was finally fucking happening and jake couldn’t believe it. he was about to become a man. and the fact that it was you taking his virginity, a gorgeous woman who doesn’t care that he’s inexperienced and lets him hit it raw. it's really all he can ask for.

once your walls are wrapped around his tip, jake’s a goner. the little sweet moment you two shared is thrown out the window and he starts bucking his hips up into you, hard and fast.

his hands find purchase on your hips and he’s gripping them so hard you're sure there will be bruises tomorrow. you wanted to start out slow as it is his first time but it seems his thrusting says otherwise.

you press your hands against his chest and begin to move rhythmically in sync with him. jake’s eyes immediately roll back and his breathing quickens.

his hands fall to his side and he lays lifeless beneath you, letting you take full control.

all he could do was stare at the spot where his dick entered you and it was making him even more hornier. he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.

your wetness didn’t help anything either. the squelching sounds indicated that you were very much enjoying this as much as he was.

“fuck you feel so good baby,” jake moans. the pet name that slips past his lips and it doesn’t go unnoticed but you also don’t question it.

for some reason the simple word made your heart jump. guys always called things like babe or even whore when they really let loose.

those never got to your head, you know they couldn’t really control themselves in the moment and you let them have their fun.

but jake has been nothing but kind to you this whole time, like he knew you were doing him a service and not the other way around.

this only fueled your desire to ensure that his sure first time exceeded his expectations so upped your menstrations. you quickly changed your pace to grind forward, backwards, and in circles making sure his dick felt every inch of you.

jake’s mind was reeling, his breath caught in his throat. he feels as if his dick was about to fall off with the way you were moving.

your body leans forward and you begin to kiss at his neck, leaving hickeys everywhere. your hot breath near his ear sends him into overdrive, must be a sensitive spot of his he never knew he had, but also how could he have known?

his hands that were once gripping the sheets meet your ass and he starts to guide you up and down his cock. you both were about to reach your climaxes, your pussy clenching with every move.

“i’m- where? fuck! where do i cum?”

“inside. cum inside me please.”

inside?? his first time cumming from sex and you were gonna let him do it inside of you? jake swears you couldn’t be any more perfect than you are right now.

you knew you threw him for a loop and honestly yourself as well. pushing these thoughts towards the back of your head you start riding him aggressively, even faster than before. “fuck, jake i’m cumming!”

“me too baby oh my god!”

and there was that damn pet name again. it makes your heart leap out of your chest and sends you over the edge.

the knot in your stomach snaps and jake follows shortly after, his load shooting into you. it pools out of you and you don’t hesitate to swipe some up with a delicate finger and bring it to your mouth, mirroring his actions from earlier.

your eyes meet his fucked out ones and you smile down at him, admiring the masterpiece of lovebites you left all over him. his vision was a bit blurry but he catches the way your lips curled upward, flashing your pearly whites.

jake finds himself instantly becoming hard again, call him easy but when a pretty girl is smiling at him like that after fucking him, can you really blame him?

you move yourself off of him and jake was fully expecting you to kick him out now but instead you position yourself on all fours, your ass in the air inviting him in.

“fuck. you’re into anal?”

you turn your head sharply to look at him over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow to question what he just said. the look you give him says it all and jake takes the hint and positions himself behind you.

“can we try anal next time though?”

an exasperated sigh leaves your lips and you reach over to grab his dick, inserting him into you. “umph! okay sorry.”

upon entering your pussy, jake relishes in the feeling of it. being inside your heat again leaves him breathless for the nth time today.

in and out. in and out. he tries to match his breathing with his gradual strokes. his member is extra sensitive right now and he’s trying not to lose himself. the impatience he had earlier has now moved onto you so you decide to take matters into your own hands and start fucking back into him.

your ass is now meeting his hips and the sound of skin slapping echoes in your room along with your moans. jake’s body is flailing from the sudden impact but he grounds his hands around your waist and grips the shit out of you.

he notices bruises forming on your skin but he can’t for the life of him let go. oops. he’ll do his best to remember to apologize for them tomorrow.

when there’s a good pace between the two of you, you fling yourself upward, back meeting his chest and the new angle has him reaching spots he didn’t before.

you take one of his strong arms and place it around your neck, having him choke you as you ride him like there’s no tomorrow. jake’s brain begins to turn to mush and he feels like he’s even more turned on at the revelation of one of your kinks.

and at this point you’re fucking onto him so hard, so good, he didn’t want it to end. “shit. shit. i love your pussy so much baby.” jake whines into your ear, meaning every word he said.

is it crazy to say you love someone upon meeting them for the first time? well, their pussy. yea. maybe. but who gives a fuck.

he was a man possessed by you, by your pussy. in this moment he truly believed there was some voodoo magic going on down there and he was blessed to be experiencing it.

you clench at his words, and your heart flips once more, prompting you to draw him closer to you (if that was even remotely possible)

the closeness of your bodies creates another intimate moment shared, kisses stolen from one another, hands tangled in his hair.

“i’m close,” he whispers in your ear, his breath leaving tingles down your spine. the hushed whispers you exchange contrast the sporadic thrusting that’s happening.

determined to reach your second high of the day, you push jake onto his back and settle yourself onto your knees, continuing to bounce up and down on his cock.

“yea just like that baby, shit shit shit i’m cumming, i’m cumming!”

jake opens his eyes to watch the scene unfold before him and god was it something. your back arches as you take his cum in you once more and your screams fill his ears, signaling you orgasmed right after him.

this moment alone is better than porn itself, and jake savors every bit of it. there’s absolutely no way he can even bring himself to type “nsfw” in his twitter search bar ever again after this.

you hover yourself over him leaving just the tip inside before sliding right back down, pushing his seed back in while it gushes around his cock leaving jake wanting, no needing, a third round with you.

but to his dismay you roll yourself off of his body, landing on the mattress next to him.

“so… how do you feel?”

he releases a long exhale he didn’t know he was holding, “fantastic. 10/10 experience. would do it again.” you simply giggle at his response with a shake of your head, getting up to gather your clothes.

“wait! um, could we do this again?”

you playfully roll your eyes at him, leaving his question unanswered as you begin to dress yourself.

—-----------------

sat in his computer chair, jake is finding it difficult to finish this stupid ethics assignment. how is he supposed to argue about the death penalty when you straight up almost murdered him with your pussy less than 2 hours ago?

he’s sure his professor wouldn’t appreciate if he wrote that he doesn’t give a fuck about someone serving their punishment if the culprit was you, but honestly speaking he’d let you get away with just about anything. you were an angel sent from above to him who could do no wrong. 

the way your soft lips wrapped around his cock while your innocent (not) eyes bored into his soul. the way you licked and kissed every single inch of his body, leaving nothing left untouched. and god, the way you worked his dick? how was he supposed to move on from you??

you were an insatiable, sex-crazed goddess. a once in a lifetime experience he was so grateful to have. 

his thoughts are interrupted by a loud knocking at his door. two seconds later, jay trails into jake’s room followed by dumb and dumber, all of them having a snug look on their faces.

they make themselves comfortable before they get right into the interrogation. jay leans against the desk, sunghoon sits in the bean bag situated in the corner, and heeseung sprawls himself across the bed.

“so virgin, how was it?”

 “wasn’t i right about her pussy?” 

“where did she make you cum?” 

eyes rolling in the back of his head, jake takes a deep sigh before answering their questions. “one, i’m not a virgin anymore so stop calling me that. two, it was absolutely fucking amazing. literally would give up heaven for it. and three, she had me cum in her. twice.”

heeseung shoots up from his position, jaw dropped and eyes wide. “you came in her twice?!” the boys all share a bewildered expression on their faces, dramatic as always.

jake just shrugs at them, what? didn’t you usually let guys cum in you like the freak you were?

jay slaps his hands down on jake’s shoulders, aggressively turning the computer chair towards him. “jake. buddy. yn has two rules.” 

sunghoon suddenly appears on jay’s left, “one. you can’t cum in her. you can cum anywhere BUT inside of her.” 

heeseung follows and is now on jay’s right side, “and two. she doesn’t repeat fuck.”

immediately following this revelation there’s silence.  complete and utter silence.  the gazes they hold are intense and uninviting. as if they truly couldn’t believe you let their best friend who’s never felt the touch of a woman break one of your rules.

their eyes say it all, they love jake to death and are happy for him, like seriously happy and relieved he’s finally entered manhood. but really? none of them got to do what he did? what was so special about him?

you don’t even know the answer to those questions yourself. maybe it was the puppy eyes or his whiny moans that made you feel like you had him in the palm of your hands.

his eagerness to pleasure you but to also receive reminded you of the sole purpose of why you only go for virgins. they made you feel wanted while also letting you be in charge. call it selfishness but why can’t a girl have the best of both worlds? 

and you’d never admit it, but jake was one of the best fucks you’ve had in a while. he never tried to be someone he wasn’t, just authentically himself. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and he was proud of it.

it was refreshing to fuck someone who didn’t have some sort of ego right after you were done with them. immediately bragging to everyone what you two did and acting like they could pull any girl as if you weren’t doing charity work for most of them. 

with all of this in mind, of course you let him cum in you. he was doing so well for you, how could you not reward him? had to let him do it twice to drive it home.

and seriously, what kind of guy gives you a tender, sweet goodbye kiss and thanks you for defiling him? you didn’t regret your decisions with him but they were definitely scaring you. 

never have you ever been this intimate with a guy, but jake was different. you felt it. and what you did next didn’t scare you as much as your recent choices with him.

*ping!*

the staredown between jake and his friends comes to a halt and he digs his phone out of his pocket to check it. sliding up, he sees the message appear on his screen:

you: are you free tomorrow?

he glances at his friends’ expectant eyes and throws them a smirk. looks like he gets to break that second rule of yours. 

© fakeuwus 2024 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize

TAGLIST: @alvojake @jaylaxies @ikeuverse @pprodsuga @criminalseung @slut4hee @wonuqrtz @sansluvr @juniorjuneper @hoonven @sunshine-skz @luvyouloser @cha0ticpisces @no-daddy-just-issues-148 @hoseokteardrop @jakehooni @minniejenseo @niniissus @capri-cuntz @simpjay @chansloverr @esloao @strawbrrycuteblog @enhaslxt @vveebee @sakanelli-afc @felixbrownies @yunjinswifee @bobaikeu @minaateez @river-demon-slayer @sjylouvre @nyxtwixx @wonderlandless @eddieeddiesblog @moon4moony @skzenhalove @na-x2 @binniesbabe @monstaxdirtywonk @lauover @iheartjayke @jwsflower @notevenheretbh1 @rik1zzluv @ang0308 @kpopaussieline @jaehyuniewifeu

[rinhaler]

hey hey, ik ur requests are closed so im gonna leave this till u open them back up,

imagine Yakuza Boss!Toji bucking his hips into you, bored out of his mind at his meeting, you’re cute whimpers and whines for him to slow down slightly amusing him as a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, all this happening while his most trusted subordinates watch as he fucks into you at this meeting, while you just sit on his lap babbling about how good he feels until he finally makes you squirt, causing him to stop the meeting and kick everybody out so he can abuse your little hole some more, wanting to see you squirt for him more. :3

I feel like I went a little off script and I threw some Shiu in there too bc we're all sluts for Shiu right?? Bon apetit!

warnings: 18+ MDNI, age gap, possessiveness, slight jealousy, slightly mean toji, dom!toji, exhibitionism, public sex, oral fixation, squirting, daddy!kink, DDLG esque?, pussy spanks.

words: 1.6k

“She shouldn’t be in here.” Shiu comments, his boss gives him a passive stare before looking in your direction. You sit politely with your hands in your lap and a shy smile, looking awkwardly around the room full of terrifying men. “She shouldn’t be listening to the shit we’re discussing.”

“I shouldn’t be listening to this shit, either. What the fuck do I pay you all for?” Toji responds, putting his arm around the back of your seat as he scoffs. “She’s needy, she needs constant attention and I know all you filthy fucks have got your eye on her so I don’t want her out of my sight.”

Shiu groans, but stands to his feet. You feel bad, really, you know what an inconvenience you are but you do try your best to remain demure and out of the way. But he’s right, you’re needy. And to be honest you’re a little afraid. Since you’ve become Toji’s plaything you’ve got a target on your back. You know with all of the security and loyal men at his disposal the odds of anything happening to you are slim. But still, you know it isn’t impossible.

Toji’s second in command leads the meeting in the board room, and you are engaged and silent as he speaks. It’s something about a territory dispute. You don’t fully understand but you know it’s illegal and dangerous. And you begin to whimper as they discuss resorting to violence.

The sound catches Toji’s attention. It seems you’ve been paying more attention than he has. He’s got more money than sense, and that is why he keeps Shiu around. But he can read you like a book. He knows when you’re happy or sad, angry or scared. And now, he sees how hard you’re trying to hold in the fear you feel. He knows what always makes you feel better, though. And he’s bored out of his fucking skull.

He shows no care or consideration for his audience as he lifts you from your seat and into his lap. Shiu stutters a little as he watches Toji manhandle you, your legs spread apart over his own before he touches under your little miniskirt. He smirks, kissing your shoulder when he feels your naked flesh.

“Good girl, no panties, jus’ like I told you.”

He doesn’t see a point to you wearing panties, he told you that after your first encounter. He told you he’d be keeping you around and you were his perfect little girl. And perfect little girls don’t need panties.

“Perfect little girls just need to keep their cunts wet for their daddy’s.” that is what he told you.

Your face flushes with heat when you realise if anyone in the room is brave enough to look they’ll see your dripping little slit. You aren’t sure how brave Toji’s men really are, though. But Toji is bold and uncaring and he knows what he wants. Always.

You gasp, softly, stealing a few gazes from the men in the room. Shiu is busy trying to keep the meeting on track and keep everyone focused. And it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. He knows your pussy like the back of his hand, too. Because Toji loves to show you off. But he’ll never share. But his second in command knows better than most what your cute cunt is capable of. It’s a novelty to him, now. Why would he steal glances when he knows his generous boss will brag about you in private to him?

You fall forwards, little hands slamming against the table top as Toji rams his cock into you without remorse. He holds your hips, pulling you down until the back of your thighs smack against his. His fingers squeeze into your doughy skin, sure to leave bruises as he’s often one to do. Any fear that you’d felt at the thought of the men surrounding you committing acts of violence are a distant memory, now. You’re too busy trying to steady yourself through daddy’s onslaught.

“P-Please, fuck, please… daddy! S-Slow down!” you beg, a smirk sprawls like wildfire across his face as he listens to your desperate pleas.

“No no no, you don’t tell me what to do,” he reminds you. A light slap coming down on your clit as he continues fucking up into you. “Stop thinking, just take it, princess.”

Shiu sighs, his focus wavering as you continue to moan and yelp through Toji’s never ending fucking. He lights a cigarette for himself and then hands one to Toji. He takes a hand away from your hip to bring it to his lips, and Shiu proceeds to light his and then his own.

He continues to speak as if nothing is happening. He’s so calm and collected, but it’s no wonder. Toji is a man he’s known for as long as he can remember and he knows all of the complexities that come with him. Not to say that you are complex. You’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him, truthfully. But it isn’t as much of a distraction as it seems to be for the rest of his subordinates.

Toji chortles when he watches Shiu slot his thumb into your mouth, his other hand still holding his cigarette with no care to where the ash lands. The lackeys are even more confused, now, do they share you? Toji isn’t the type to share, no, but he isn’t going to chastise Shiu for doing what he needs to do to get through his meeting.

Besides, you look quite cute sucking on his thumb. He always thinks you look cute when you’re sucking on something, though. You hold onto Shiu’s wrist as you suckle on his thumb. And you hate that he won’t give you any attention, especially when you’re blinking up at him with pretty, wet eyes. Doesn’t he want to admire how cute you’re being for him?

You begin to act up, mewling loudly around his fingers as you try to get him to look at you. But it only ends in another wet slap on your pussy from Toji and a particularly rough cantering of his hips. He pulls you back towards him, your shoulder blades cushioned by his pecs as you’re pulled into him.

Shiu wipes your saliva from his thumb onto his blazer and gives you a passive glance before focusing on the men in the room again. He snaps his fingers in a bid to command their attention.

Toji, however, is fixated on you. His sharp canines ghost over your jugular. Your heart rate quickens and so do the shallow breaths escaping your throat. He silences you, his hand smothers your lips as he continues to nip and bite softly with ease. It’s exciting, and terrifying, because you know he could tear out your throat if he really wanted to.

“Did I just hear you beggin’ for another man’s attention, princess?” he whispers, his large palm pushing your legs further apart before repeatedly slapping down against your firm clit. “Is daddy’s cock ruinin’ you not enough, hah? Because I’ll stop, right now, and you can forget about cumming for a while. A long fucking while, darlin’.”

You muffle your protests through his smothering palm. Of course he’s enough! You got carried away, that’s all. He’s more than enough. You don’t need anyone else’s attention. Just him. Only him.

“Heh, that’s what I thought.” he laughs, harshly, licking a fat stripe up your neck with his wide tongue. Tears spill from your eyes as he continues to pound into you, gritting his teeth with each squeeze and stifled moan he’s suffocating with his hand. He wraps his free hand around your torso and drills upwards into your slippery heat.

Your moans become louder as you reach your peak. He repeatedly nudges your sensitive insides in the most beautiful way and forces you to clench and wince and fucking scream through your nostrils as he drags your orgasm out of you.

And eyes begin to turn white as they roll into the back of your head. Your body turns limp as his touch forces an orgasm from your body. Your body is wracked as you violently shake through it, your cunt squirting all over his lap and onto the floor below. He moans, boisterously at your display.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by the men in the room, either, as the sound of gushing water hits the ground below.

Toji bends you over the desk, carnal desire flooding all sense that he has. He pushes your head down so your cheek is squished against the table. You look up at Shiu, blinking pathetically. And now, you do have his attention. Toji hisses, flipping your skirt up to reveal your plump ass. He has no doubt his men will find it difficult not to look.

“Everyone out, now.” he commands, his men readily jump to their feet and begin to filter out of the room. Shiu stubs his cigarette out on the table top, not even an inch away from your nose and he prepares to leave. “Not you. Stay.” Toji orders. Shiu chuckles, weakly, and takes a seat.

“What do I owe this pleasure?” he asks, tucking your hair behind your ear as he watches your fucked out face continue to swallow Toji’s cock again and again. “Sorry I couldn’t give you any attention, angel. That meeting was a disaster, huh?” he smiles.

“This isn’t your pleasure, Shiu.” Toji informs him. “She jus’ likes it when you watch.”

© 2023 rinitxshi

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Hi! Im not sure, feel free to completely ignore! But I love your writing and I saw this tiktok and it made me think about reader being exited for trick or treat but not a lot of kids come by so Bucky does something special? Or they go out to give out candy?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjtSWwmp/

Thank you so much in advance if you decide to write something related to this!

Have a nice day/night

Trick or Treat.

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings - none!! just bucky being a sweetheart in love

Word Count - under 1k

Author's Note - thank you for this request, it's so lovely!! seeing as we've just passed halloween, thought i'd write something short and sweet. hope you enjoy.

Masterlist. Inbox.

You've been sat on your front steps for hours.

Bowl of candy in hand, goodie bags made up, decorations hung and ready. You've always loved Halloween, for as long as you can remember. Now you're older, the highlight is getting to see all the neighbourhood kids dressed up as they trick or treat.

Not this year. You and Bucky moved apartments last year, and you were ridiculously excited to get to give out candy on your new block. Turns out, no one really passes by your place.

"Baby," comes a voice from the front door behind you. "You're gonna catch your death. It's freezing."

Bucky sits down next to you, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and pulling you into his side.

"You wanna come inside? We can watch those old Disney Halloween movies you love."

You rest your head on his shoulder, revelling in his warmth.

"Not yet, Buck. Just gonna wait a little longer."

It's breaking his heart seeing you so defeated. You've been looking forward to the holiday for weeks, and it certainly hasn't turned out the way either of you hoped.

"Do you think there just aren't any kids around here? I've literally seen none."

"I don't know, baby. I'm just as confused as you are."

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, arms tightening around you.

He is confused. In your old apartment, you'd have dozens of kids come by, eager for candy and the cookies you'd make. You and Bucky would sit out on the front steps and give out goodie bags for hours, striking up conversations with parents and celebrating all of the costumes.

"Maybe we should go inside," you say quietly, starting to shiver. "We'll have to ask Sam tomorrow if he got any trick or treaters. Maybe it's going out of style."

Sam.

Bucky has a sudden eureka moment, jumping up from his spot next to you.

"Wait here, baby. One minute."

He runs inside, leaving you disorientated on the steps. He's back within thirty seconds, your bag in his hand.

"Come on. We're going out."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise. You'll see."

You pile into the car as Bucky loads all the candy into the trunk, trying to be as subtle as possible. He climbs in and presses a kiss to your knuckles before holding your hand for the entire journey, humming along to the radio as he drives.

You suddenly begin to recognise your whereabouts, more confused than ever.

"Why are we in Sam's neighbourhood, Buck?"

He winks.

"You'll see."

As soon as you pull up to Sam's house, he's striding out of the front door and towards you.

"Thank God you're here. I can't do it anymore. Why didn't we just do this in the first place?"

"Do what?"

"I remember Sam telling me about the, quote on quote, 'obscene amount of trick or treaters' that he gets at his house every year. And he hates Halloween -"

"It's true!" Sam interjects.

"- so I thought you could save him from his misery, and you get to give out candy like you wanted."

You're grinning at him from ear to ear, practically bouncing on the soles of your feet.

"You're a genius," you whisper, leaning up to press your lips to his softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiles, stealing another kiss or four.

"I'm gonna head upstairs and watch the football game. You guys have fun out here!"

Sam throws you a thumbs up before retreating inside, closing the door behind him. You and Bucky bring all of your goodies from the car and set up on the porch, ready and waiting.

Before you know it, there are dozens of groups of kids on the street, all of them adorned in spooky costumes. They practically skip up the pathway towards you, excited and giddy.

"Trick or treat!"

"Woah, you're all super scary... I like your makeup! And your wig! Hey, your shirt is super cool!"

You're placing candy in their bags, so you can't see Bucky beaming behind you, light radiating off of him in all directions.

He'd find a way make it Halloween everyday if it meant he could see you smile like this.

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard @tizniz 💖

im still on vacation, but wrote a little bit of a new wip in a notebook lmao and just wanted to share a lil bit haha

this has been on my ideas list forever, but basically, Tommy calls Buck "buck" and Buck gets upset about it - that's the fic lol its handwritten in a notebook and typing it out on my phone rn so it's like a very rough first draft, im gonna make it better when I type it out on my laptop haha

____

As Tommy talks, he's constantly stealing glances at Buck, and this time when he does, he frowns, instantly noticing that something's wrong.

He finishes the story rather quickly, and as everyone moves on to other topics, he says something about going to get more drinks, and grabs Buck's hand to bring him with. As soon as they're a safe distance away from their friends, Tommy crowds Buck against a wall, these blue, concerned eyes boring into his soul.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks, and Buck feels silly. It's such a stupid thing to get upset about and make his boyfriend worry for no reason.

"Nothing," Buck shakes his head. "It's stupid."

"Well, it's still clearly something. And you know you can tell me anything that's bothering you. Even if you think it's stupid." He's looking at Buck with that fondness that always melts Buck's heart a little.

"It's just..." Buck takes a deep breath, bracing himself for saying the silliest thing to get upset about. "You called me Buck." He admits, averting his gaze, and trying to ignore how whiny his voice sounds.

___

no pressure tags (lmk if you wanna be added or removed): @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @ladydorian05 @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @bucks-daddy-issues @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @diazheartsbuckley @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @underwaterninja13 @your-catfish-friend @kinard-buckley @evansboyfriend @hoodie-buck @weewootruck @41noodlesoups @kirkaut @jewishbuckley @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @lonelychicago @reformedplayerbibuck @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @bucked-it-up @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @drcloyd

[mysouleaten]

THIEF !! [part four]

PLATONIC! pet shop owners! baji, chifuyu and kazutora x teen!reader

summary... uh-oh... where'd your phone go??...

warnings... cuss words, description of injury, and soft baji at the end

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four]

the final bell rings for the class to end

your teacher says goodbye and quickly tells everyone to prepare for the quiz on tuesday

putting on your headphones over your ears and walking down the crowded hall of students rushing either to get home or to their respective clubs

you thankfully didn't have a club to rush to and didn't have a bus to catch so you could take your sweet time walking home..

..or you could pop into your favorite pet shop to see if anything caught your eye to actually buy this time, you got your pay-check and your mother sent you around fifty bucks so that was a plus

looking down at your phone to turn up the volume in your headphones you don't notice how someone is about to run right into you until it was too late

a huge box filled with whatever had slammed right into your face

"ah! fuck!" you yelled, the heavy box slammed right above your brow giving it a pretty big blow that was gonna bruise

someone quickly came to apologize and help you to the nurse's office

great way to start your weekend..

looking in the mirror at the huge bruise that formed above your eyebrow was painful and very obvious

"just fuckin great, huh?" you curse

rolling your eyes you walk to your kitchen and get out an ice pack from the freezer then grab a couple of paper towels and wrap them around the ice pack

laying on your couch and holding the ice pack on your bruise

"mew"

you turn your head to the right and look down at a ginger cat staring up at you with big baby green eye

"oh..no don't tell me im about of cat food again..?" you whine

"meeeooowww"

hearing more cats on your balcony whining for more food indicated that you in fact have no more cat food

"damn.."

baji snapped his head up at the sound of the doorbell jingling

it was a teen that sort of fit the description that ryusei had given them a couple of days ago

the kid had [ec]eye-color eyes that fit the description, the same hoodie and mask, and a nasty bruise above their brow.. that wasn't part of the description...

baji just followed them with his eyes but the teen slipped away into the back of the store baji couldn't see them back there

spacing out while looking at the cat food, a horrible headache just formed while walking to the pet shop but you were already halfway there to the shop and didn't feel like turning back

and your bruise felt like someone was drumming on it

you look around and see the long-black-haired owner leaning on the counter watching you with cat-like eyes daring you to try and steal something..

yeah.. you weren't gonna risk it..

he could probably be able to catch you easily and body slam you..

which.. could be illegal? you weren't sure right now, you just wanna go home and take a big fat nap

picking up some wet food and kibble and headed over to the counter where the owner was still staring at you with an accusing look but he didn't say anything ...yet

.

.

.

"have.. you been stealing from here..?"

you swallowed the spit that built up in your mouth

"no?.. im paying aren't I?"

"yeah, I guess you are," he said and didn't bother saying anything else besides telling you your change

you finally came through the doors to your apartment, put the bags of pet food on the balcony, and sat on the couch to ease the headache

you then reach into your hoodie pocket to grab your phone but it isn't there, then reaching into the pockets of your pants... your phone wasn't there either..

you're about to have a meltdown

baji stared down at the lock screen of the phone the teen had left on the counter, he hadn't noticed it until a ringtone had started to play but he was too late to tell the kid to come back

but now he was staring at the face of their thief, who matched the description perfectly from ryusei's story..

it was you in your original outfit from a couple days ago when ryusei had tried to follow you, --you squatting down with your phone about your head catching the cats next to you eating from their food bowls and a large dog laying next to them..

.

.

.

at least you were stealing for a good cause.. baji thought

uhh.. I think like.. one or two chapters are left??? :D

taglist... @whatamidoing89

[moxfirefly]

"I'm not letting them go. They're mine. They've always been mine."

For a bestie mikey who is jealous, someone's taking readers' attention away from him?

These quotes are hard to work with XD

Ray, my beloved. Always coming in clutch 🤌

Rated Mature (suggestive themes)

Mikey felt a stirring next to him that prompted him to open his eyes. The midnight nap he’d decided on when you had sat next to him was disturbed and he wanted to groan displeased.

“Sorry Mike, I gotta use the bathroom be back in a sec.” That gentle hushed tone only served to help him drift back, almost at least. Woefully he accepted his best friend having to leave for a few minutes.

It was something of tradition at this point, falling a sleep next to you during movie nights. Mikey had wordlessly cemented the fact that he got to sit next to you and you had reinforced it by always finding your place next to him.

He took the second to stretch out, enjoying the pops of each achy limbs, patrol had been a bitch a few hours ago. He saw Leo konked on the armchair, Donnie in the kitchen making more popcorn as a sleepy April scrolled through Netflix to find something else to play.

“—Well im gonna need you in a bit to measure again, probably tomorrow too”

Raph’s voice rang from behind where he was sat on the couch. Mikey looked back to see him talking to you and holding your arm extended.

“Remind me why I’m doing this again?” He asked mocked annoyed as he used his pointer and thumb to measure your arm.

“Because I wanna win $100 bucks at work” You laughed when he moved to your other arm to do the same.

“What fucking weird job makes an ugly Christmas sweater competition?” He used both his hand to grab your waist, using it as reference for the torso of the sweater.

Mikey raised a brow ridge, why had he felt a pulse of something when he saw his brother man handling you.

“Hey if I win you’ve got $50 waiting for you, so make it as ugly as possible.” You arched your neck when he wrapped a hand around your neck and mumble something, clearly mapping out the measurements in his head.

That, yeah that felt really weird in the bottom of Mikey’s stomach. Why did Raph have to loom over you, hand around your pretty neck and smiling to himself.

“Well come by this week, I’m gonna need you while I’m making it.” He finally let go of you, and it took a second of trying to think straight to not jump Raph.

“Mikey and I are playing that new game where you romance all the hot people—“

Donnie piped in, “Baldur’s Gate.” You threw him a finger gun for the assist.

“Well ya think you can detach yourself from numb nuts for a few minutes at a time?” He asked playfully.

“Well you’ve got her measurements what more do you need, dude?” Mikey finally spoke up, making Raph and you turn towards his groggy annoyed face. “I got an idea but I gotta re-adjust or re-make whatever don’t come out right.” He spoke matter of fact, his gaze was mocking him.

“I can’t just take breaks between.” You offered to ease the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m sure Mikey can survive five minutes without ya, right buddy?” He clamped both hands on your shoulders and smiled at his youngest brother. “Man quit being handsy with her.” It came out before he could really assess what his mouth had vomited out. Under a different tone of voice it could’ve been taken playfully but this was the full opposite.

“Chill man, I ain’t stealing ya girl.” He chuckled and if Mikey could blush he would. He glared at Raph, not noticing your own blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Looks like it since you wanna keep her all week.” He was getting up now, less groggy and more peeved than anything.

“Mike—“ Your voice was gentle trying to ease the fast approaching boiling tension in the air.

“Aww, Mikey’s worried his bestie’s gonna be my bestie all week? Man just let it go.” Raph wasn’t even remotely serious poking fun at his younger brother.

“Im not letting her go. She’s mine. She’s always been mine.” He shot a deep glare at Raph, who face quickly fell upon hearing those words.

It took a few seconds for Mikey to fully comprehend what he had said and the implication behind it. His eyes went wide, landing on your own wide eyes and the blush that scattered itself further down your chest.

Fuck, what had he done?

[calkale]

Jake “Hangman” Seresin headcanons

(Disclaimer im keeping this non ship specific besides one past hangster mention but if anyone wants a ship specific one lemme know) 

He’s from texas (obviously), his family owns a ranch with a huge ranch house on the property thats been in their family for generations. His father died while he was in the naval academy and his mom runs the ranch now. Theres a smaller ranch house on the property he stays in when he’s not on deployment and his siblings each have one too. 

He has 3 sisters and 1 brother, one of his sisters is a lawyer and the rest of his siblings work on the ranch. His brother does occasionally work other jobs but never for too long and always comes back. Jake was third born child so truly the middle child of the family

His mother is truly an amazing woman, shes super sweet and super nice but do not piss her off, she has a gun cabinet thats stocked full and she does not miss a shot. She looks like miranda lambert but shes the same height as jake (5’9, glen powell is lying and i make the rules). 

His dad was a piece of shit, plain and simple, they got married after finding out jakes mom was pregnant so everything was super rushed, they were both really young when it happened and he hated the way his life turned out and made it really obvious without doing anything about it because he felt obligated to stay. He was bucked off a horse out in one of the fields and hit his head on a rock and died almost instantly from the impact, the family all took it in very different ways but it didn’t take long for them to all move on, everyone knew he was miserable and him being gone only made their lives better. 

Jake used to be a bronc rider until he decided he wanted to be a fighter pilot and stopped immediately so he didn’t get a serious injury (shockingly enough he hadn’t had any SERIOUS injuries prior to this decision). He still rides horses all the time tho he’s a pro at heading cattle. He still attends every rodeo in the area when he can and two of his sisters participate in a few of them, one of them is a barrel racer and the other is a tie-down roper. 

He’s so snuggly!!! He has so many blankets at home too like the man has a problem. If you sleep with him he’s gonna steal the blankets then latch onto you like a koala and when you wake up he’s gonna act like nothing happened. 

Him and Bradley have been on a few deployments together and somehow always end up in bunks above or below each other so of course they’re annoying about it. Despite popular belief they did not room together at the naval academy, they did know each other in passing tho and hooked up once or twice in Bradley’s bronco in the middle of nowhere so they wouldn’t get caught but of course they were both also super wasted 

He didn’t meet Javy until top gun, he had heard of him from other people they’d both worked with but it wasn’t until top gun that they became friends. They’re the type of friends that seem like they’ve known each other their entire lives, they immediately hit it off despite being up against each other for the top gun trophy (which Jake won) and they’ve been in touch ever since. Jake lets Javy store stuff at his place on the ranch and he’s stayed with him more times than they can count. 

Jake never really had close friends before Javy, he mostly kept to himself and the friends he did have didn’t really know too much about him. During middle and high school he never had friends stay over or hang out, he did go out to parties but it wasn’t really his scene, he much preferred to go for a horseback ride and watch the sunset from the fields than spend the night out drinking. When he attended the academy he went out more and started building the hangman persona, he did enjoy it and definitely enjoys going out to bars now but he still thinks about those horseback rides he went on when he was a teenager and when he’s back at the ranch he goes out every chance he gets. 

All that being said he absolutely LOVES karaoke, he will only do it once you’ve gotten a few drinks in him but he’s good at it and knows it too. He has a long list of go to songs but an absolute classic is any man of mine by shania twain. He knows how to line dance but he isn’t good at it. 

Megan Moroney is one of his favourite artists, he went to one of her concerts and it was one of the best nights of his life 

He realized he was gay when he was 20 but didn’t really accept it until he was 30 (he was 35 at the time of tgm in my head even tho glen wasn’t). The first man he hooked up with was Bradley and the first man he loved was another pilot (who i made another post about). He never dated any women in high school and did get bothered about it but he really just had no desire to even try, people didn’t bother him about it for long and kinda gave up when they found out he didn’t care and he was fully capable of physically fighting back. It never crossed his mind that he could actually be gay until he moved out and started noticing men more but he had a really hard time accepting it and only allowed himself to engage in it if he was drunk so it “didn’t count”. It took the first man he loved dying for him to get his shit together, he never got to tell him he loved him and he didn’t allow himself to process it for months but when he did he realized he had to be more okay with this part of himself. He’s not super open about it but thats just because he doesn’t feel the need to be, he’s okay with it and his family is okay with it (he came out to them when he was 31) so he doesn’t really feel the need to tell anyone else about it. 

[archangeldyke-all]

(I honestly don’t know if my asks are getting in atp but im just gonna keep resending them if they get removed because I’m not a fucking wimp 🗣️‼️‼️)

______

Wait no because what if Sevika had a group chat with her coworkers and shit (Smeech, Ran, Renni, Silco, Finn, Signed, Dustin and ofc her lovely gf <3)

And at least once every two weeks there is ALWAYSSS chaos

Like; Sev and Finn could be arguing and then Ran pulls up with the fucking Curse of Ra 💀or Renni just uses the gc as a shopping list since she forgot to open notes and everyone is just like “Ren, wrong app 💀” or someone points out shit from her list HSHJERJD

PLEASE i'm gonna do the roach 'verse gang, because i think it would be insane.

men and minors dni

silco: if any of u have spare cash on u, bring it to my office and leave it on my desk. i'll pay u back tomorrow.

you: jinx, get off of silco's phone.

lock: fuck, that was jinx? i put ten on his desk!

sevika: idiot.

ran: LMAOOOO IDIOT

thieriam: shit, i put twenty bucks on his desk too.

you: jinx! how much fucking money did you steal?!

deckard: she got me too, that fucker.

ran: you are all so fucking stupid.

singed: just checked the office, the cash and jinx are nowhere to be found.

deckard: fuck!

lock: fuck

thieriam: oh fuck, silco's never gonna pay us back.

silco: no, i'm not. you should all know better by now. i would never use 'u' to type 'you'

ran: this is fucking hilarious

sevika: babe, what's for dinner?

you: you, if i'm lucky ;)

deckard: HELLO?? this is the gc??

sevika: stfu deckard.

ran: no but fr, what's for dinner, roach?

you: idk, i'm thinking chicken chili?

lock: ooooh, with cornbread?

you: sure, if you guys want.

lock: yes please!

ran: yes!!!

deckard: oh, yum.

singed: fuck, roach are you free?

you: yeah?

singed: i just sliced my hand open. can you come stitch me up?

you: lmao, i'm on the way.

ran: roach to the rescue!

sevika: put a heart in the chat if i'm the stupidest one in the gang.

deckard: <3

thieriam: <3

ran: LMAOO <3333333

you: <3

you: jinx, give sevika her phone back.

sevika: i'm gonna kill her someday.

sevika: babe, you put a fucking heart in the chat????

you: cant talk, stitching singed up.

silco: i'm sorry for jinx's behavior today. she's upset that she doesn't have her own phone yet.

lock: it's no fuckin fair! u guys get to talk all the time and i have to steal a phone to be in on the chat!

silco: jinx!

you: lmaoo jinx you can come play on my phone.

lock: fine.

lock: shit, i didn't even notice she took it until she gave it back.

sevika: she's a fuckin' weasel.

you: whats up assholes?

ran: hey jinx. what'd you buy with your stolen money?

you: more flamers. a few candy bars. a new jumbo plushy.

lock: you wanna share your candy?

you: no.

silco: jinx, at least share with the man you stole from.

you: ugh fine. they're in the kitchen lock.

lock: sweet!

thieriam: some of us are trying to work, can we please not abuse the work groupchat for not-work purposes

you: put a heart in the chat if thieriam sucks ass!

sevika: <3

ran: <3

deckard: <3

silco: jinx, what did i tell you about that kind of language?

you: i'm not jinx i'm roach.

thieriam: fuck off jinx, roach would never be so mean to me.

lock: <3

you: effective. Power. لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً h  ॣ ॣ ॣ

across from where you're finishing up singed's stitches, deckard gasps down at his phone.

"you fuck!" he exclaims, looking up at jinx where she's sitting beside you. she giggles.

"what'd you do this time?" you ask. she laughs and hands you back your phone, before running out of the lab.

"she shut all our phones down!" he says. "how the fuck did she do that?" he cries.

upstairs, you hear ran and lock's shared groan.

you chuckle and shake your head. "jinx you stupid fuck!" sevika roars from the second floor. you giggle.

"i better go handle that." you say, finishing your final stitch. singed chuckles.

"you better." he says as jinx's squeal floats down to the lab.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[buckley-diaztruther]

god the more I think about it the more I think that buck has know his feelings for eddie AT LEAST since tommy kissed him, if not before. like it just so strongly reads to me as "im so deeply and stupidly in love with my best friend and I refuse to face it but I also refuse to be even a little bit normal about him even though i know well never be able to be together because he is straight. oh hey this guy trying to steal my bestie seems interested in ME this means I can both keep him from eddie and try to get over eddie at the same time. WOOPS my best friend just crashed my date if he even catches a whiff if me being queer ues gonna KNOW I'm in love with him time to double down on the straight bro energy. woops got ditched right after ok. time to spend the next few days way more broken up about lying to my bestie than getting dumped. whats that maddie? confused about my feelings? nonono i know whats happening here and its very much not allowed thanks. omg bestie pent up sexually? wish I could help- I MEAN IN A TOTALLY PLATONOC NON-SEXUAL WAY. bestie having relationship issues? perfect moment to slip in a little coming out moment. maybe he'll get the hint and we kiss? oh this changes nothing? cool cool cool cool cool anyways I can't stop thinking about that guy I spent the last few days very much not thinking about while i obsessed over you and also get back with your gf bc if you're single I might do something stupid like kiss you. time to throw myself into ANOTHER relationship with the genuine hope it'll work out but the innate understanding that it'll never actually last because they'll never be you hahaha no baby don't destroy your life by cheating with ur dead wife's doppelganger ur so sexy. now you're single so I could be single but then I might do something stupid like kiss you and you're life is literally falling apart and so well just put that back in a box and I'll keep on dating the Gays For Trump advocate over here in solidarity"

[rottenblur]

study break|part three|J.MILLER|

Summary:When Sarah suggested you and the Millers should go to brunch together, it seemed like a good idea, a fun one. Then one of the miller brothers decides to get his dessert early, upsetting the other. Someone’s gotta pay for that, it just happens, poor you is burdened of the payment.

WARNINGS: Dirty talking (tommy and joel) angry joel, choking, slapping, degrading names, public touching. Dark!joel DARK JOEL. He’s mean in this yall my apologies im not sorry. Pining tommy. Over panties touching.drunk joel texting you apologizing (pathetic) POSSESSIVE JOEL

“Are you really that much of a dumb fucking slut? It’s me or fucking no one.”

It was Sarah’s idea, going out for brunch, the four of you. “If you’re gonna be staying here for two weeks, may as well get comfortable with my family!” She said that with the most genuine smile.

It filled you with a little bit of guilt, for the things you had done with her dear father the night before, guilty for the way her uncle craves you.

Even though she wouldn’t realize what was going on, even if it was right in her. Sarah only thought the best of people especially her father, so of course she wouldn’t think the miller brothers would be drooling over you.

All of you cram into joel’s navy pickup truck, it was big and clearly one of his most prized possessions. Still has that “New car” scent. “I swear he would fuck his truck if he could, spends fifty bucks every week getting it washed at some fancy place, its so anal.”

Sarah says after she heard your gasp after jumping into it.

You pull your seatbelt over your chest, clicking it into place. The warm black leather sticking to your bare legs. You decided to dress up for lunch, throwing on the only dress you packed a.k.a the only one you owned.

Sarah is talking your ear off about boys, shopping and what colour she should get her nails done next.

You hear the sound of the door slam, Joel strolls out of the house, dressed in his nicest flannel, buttoned up. A patch of the grey t-shirt he was wearing underneath, exposed. The way he had his sleeved rolled up mid arm had you drooling.

“He wears that god damn shirt to every fancy event, I swear he doesn’t have any formal clothes.” She says pointing to his washed out jeans as he approaches the car, you laugh, but really you couldn’t take your eyes off, how good those jeans shaped his ass.

He opens the car door, Tommy yells out from the door way, with one shoe being pulled on “Joel slow the fuck down, i’m coming with y’all.”

Joel scrunches his face up, shaking his head. “Fine, you’re paying for yourself.” Sarah looks at you with a confused look, you guess Tommy never comes to restaurants with them. Maybe he was coming for you?

He gets into the truck, starts the engine letting out a sigh. You look at the back of his head, he adjusts the rear mirror right on you, your eyes catching his.

You clear your throat and go back to listening to Sarah until Tommy gets into the car, with a stupid fucking smile.

“Everyone sleep okay?” He asked as if he wasn’t dead fucking asleep, while joel was in your room making you believe in heaven.

Joel lets out a small laugh, you both were thinking the same thing. Sarah replies to him and starts talking about her night.

“Can you believe he wouldn’t go through a drive thru for me? Who denies a drunk person fast food?” She says like its the worst thing ever.

“Who almost throws up in someone’s car because they couldn’t handle their liquor? Wanna answer that hun?” Oh hes sassy. Sarah was sending you videos all night, yet you only looked at them this morning due you being…slightly busy when she sent them.

It’s a long drive of you and joel stealing glances, looking away awkwardly when even the sight of him is bringing back memories of last night.

Finally, Joel pulls into the parking lot. You look around, it’s a decently nice place, one of those “insta worthy” places were girls take pictures of their food, it was overpriced for a reason it’s “aesthetic”.

Sarah loves it. Sarah was one of those girls that posted on her instagram every day, anything and everything.

She posted Joel a good few times before you came, not realizing he was her father.

More like one of those hot teachers in high school, that you beg to take a picture with on the last day of school.

He was good looking, he didn’t look his age at all. Never would you guess her dad would be THAT attractive.

He hops out, letting out a deep sigh and clearing his throat.

You undo your seatbelt, pick up your phone, you reach to open the door but Tommy is already there, with begging eyes he opens it.

“After you.”

He waves his hand, leaning on the door as you and Sarah hop out.

Adjusting your dress as you walk towards the door, Sarah’s arm interlinked with yours.

You can feel their eyes on you, the wind blows the bottom of your dress up, exposing patches of your thighs.

You look back, joel is sizing up the place seeing if it’s even decent, Tommy is well, um being Tommy. Devouring you with his eyes, it makes you nervous.

It takes him a good couple seconds to realize you caught him staring, peeling his eyes off your legs and smiling.

The fresh conditioned air gives you goosebumps as you step into the door.

A girl that looks like she spends way too much time on social media, about a couple years older greets you.

“Ya’ got a reservation sweetheart?”

God, you forgot that literally everyone around here got a pet name for strangers. Fucking texans.

Sarah pipes in.

“Yeah! Miller, four of us.”

She smiles and looks down at her reservation book.

“I’ll bring y’all to your table.”

She steps out from behind the cash and walks the bunch of you to a table on the deck, over looking the ocean.

You sit down in your seat, Joel sitting in front of you sarah attached at his hip.

Meaning, you’re stuck sitting neck to tommy. For fucks sake.

She smiles at joel, practically drooling.

“I can get your drink orders if y’all are ready.”

Sarah skims over the drink menu then smirks.

“Two mimosas for me and the lady.”

Joel shakes his head.

“You didn’t drink enough last night?” He huffs out.

You try to hold back a laugh but it’s uncontrollable.

“Just a coffee for me.” He hands the drink menu off to her.

“You want cream or sugar?” She asks, accepting the menu.

He shakes his head.

She hasn’t took her eyes off him since he walked in, fucking desperate.

“Water for me.”

She doesn’t even look at tommy when he orders. Why were you so upset over this, he’s beautiful you should know you’re not the only person that thinks that.

She nods her head and practically skips away.

You whip out your phone, placing your elbows on the table. Opening your messages skimming through to find sarah.

You: Staring problem much.-12:37pm

Her phone dings, she checks the notification and smiles. Typing back instantly.

Sarah m.: i thought she was gonna crawl on the table and harass him right then and there :0-12:37

You read her text and start laughing, you look at her and nod. Joel catches this, he leans over and tries to get a peek.

You: It’s definitely his “fancy” shirt. SHE WAS DROOLING.-12:38

She laughs and joel reads it, taking her phone and typing back.

Sarah m.: it is fucking fancy, thank u.-12:38

He huffs in unison with her, she tucks her phone back into her phone pocket and the lady returns.

With a fucking smile.

You look at sarah and roll your eyes as she lays down the drinks. Joel’s first, obviously.

She asks for your order then walks away.

You’re sipping on your drink, staring at the view, what were you thinking wearing a dress, wasn’t even hot out?

You get goosebumps and shiver, tommy catches it while sarah and joel are deep in conversation, about something stupid, whatever they could debate about, they would.

“You cold honey?”

He places a hand on your knee, rubbing circles with his thumb.

Oh god.

You shake your head. “Probably shouldn’t have worn a dress, bad idea.” Adding a nervous giggle.

He smiles, leaning in closer and whispering into your ear. “That’s right. Should have worn nothing.”

He pulls his hand further up, resting on the hem of your dress. Sitting comfortably on your upper thigh.

He rubs slow circles on your inner thigh, you squirm in your seat.

Fuck.

You finish off your drink, Tommy moves his hand up, grazing your clit through your panties. Your breath hitches. Joel looks at you, you look back.

He looks at Tommy then furrows his brows.

Fuck. Oh my FUCK.

You were caught.

You knew how much Tommy’s pining for you bothered him yet, you still let him touch you.

You’d say you were bothered by it too but the way your panties are wet right now says differently.

You clear your throat and stand up. “I’m gonna use the bathroom, ill be back.”

You almost trip over your own feet walking to the bathroom.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

Does this mean you’ve lost Joel?

Maybe you’d get some nice rough angry sex out of this, finally feel him.

You stare in the mirror taking deep breaths trying to figure what the fuck to do.

Back at the table, Joel’s clawing at himself to have control, it’s nothing just some stupid fucking flirting, you didn’t resist though.

Fuck it.

He taps his jeans pocket and sighs. Interrupting Sarah and Tommy’s discourse on the latest movie they watched. They both look to him. “I forget my phone in the truck, imma get it.”

Sarah shrugs her shoulders as if she didn’t need to know that and goes back to her conversation.

He gets up, walks towards the exit and when he’s far enough for them to not see him, he stomps over to the bathroom.

You’re finished practically water boarding yourself to feel better, wiping off the “waterproof” mascara that ran down your face .

You open the door and are met with the hard chest of a taller man.

“Oh i’m sorry sir-“ You look up.

Fuck.

He pushes you back into the bathroom with a grip on your neck. Thank god for private bathrooms.

You thought it was just gonna be some steamy, kinky, public sex cause of him choking you. The way he was looking down at you, his grip tightening tells you different. He was fuming.

“Ah i-“ It’s hard to speak with the way his hand is engulfing your neck.

“Did ya like it?” He loosens his grip just enough for you to speak, pushing you against the bathroom wall by your neck.

The other hand encaging you above your head. He was leaning so close to you, it seemed like you could change his mind and it WOULD turn into sex.

He tilts his head waiting for an answer.

“Like what Joel?”

He tongues his teeth and shakes his head at this.

“Uh uh don’t you fucking dare-“ He retightened his grip. “-play the dumb slut with me, thought you were the smart one darlin’?”

You nod, choking out a response. “I’m sorry joel—really. I didn’t.”

He lets out a groan, slapping your face, a burning feeling races through your cheek, then he was spreading your legs.

“So you’re telling me, if i check right now, you won’t be soaking for tommy” He gets up in your face.

“Don’t like you lying to me darlin’”

He reaches down, hand still on your throat for dear life.

He feels your panties. They are fucking soaked. From him or Tommy, you have no clue.

“Just what i thought. Ya think you can just go ‘round picking and choosing what miller you want as your fuck toy?—” He tightened his grip, you can barely breathe.

“—Think i wouldn’t know? Think i don’t recognize that cute little face you make, when someone’s touching ya’?”

You choke on your own spit.

“Are you really that much of a dumb fucking slut? It’s me or fucking no one.”

He takes his hand off your throat. You cough as the air slowly refills your lungs. “I’m yours okay? Please i’m sorry.”

He grins, grabs your cheeks and gives you a quick kiss.

“Oh i know baby, you’re sorry now.”

He leaves the bathroom, leaving you to wipe the fresh mascara stains off your cheeks. You fix your hair and clear your throat.

When you come back to the table, Sarah is digging into a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

You sit down, Tommy smiles at you. Joel is wiping the pink lipgloss you stained him with off, before anyone notices.

“Hey! Are you okay? You were in there a while.” Sarah says with a mouthful of ice cream dripping past her lips.

You try to come up with an excuse.

“Got kinda lost trying to find it.”

Joel huffs. Tommy can’t keep himself off you. It’s like he’s trying to get you in trouble.

He leans in again, nothing good comes from this.

“Too bad I already had dessert, ice cream looks pretty darn good.”

God just touching you was his dessert? You’d blush if it wouldn’t get you put in your place again. He tries to touch you again.

You swipe his hand away. It hurt him, he frowns and mutters a sorry.

The car ride home was quiet. Sarah showing you pictures of the dinner on her phone.

Both millers were staring right at you in each picture, it’s like they weren’t even trying to hide it.

The only interaction with Joel for the rest of the night was those few glances through the rearview mirror on the way home.

It was cruel trying to sleep. You kept tracing the spots on your neck where he squeezed the hardest, honestly you thought u deserved it.

That one kiss through all the pain, it kept you up.

How was that the softest he had kissed you before, yet the most aggressive he treated you.

It made you question everything you knew about him.

You fell asleep looking at Sarah’s instagram, the pictures of him.

Too bad you were too dead asleep cause he was blowing up your phone.

3 missed calls from J.Miller-11:30pm

Hey can i talk to ya?-11:37pm

Sorry if i scared ya, just cant handle anyone else having u-11:37pm

Sweet dreams sugar.-11:46pm

masterlist (check out the rest of the series there:))

part four: here

AN!!! Hey long time no see yawl😪 i started writing this like last week and write 90% of it in like three hours sooo idk how to feel bout it ANGST??? DARK JOEL??? TOMMY MAKING A MOVE??? Lots going on in this. @cuntyjoel was my supportive writer bestie that actually convinced me to finish this go check em out and my bottom joel fic IM BEGGING YAWL its linked so is my master list with part one and two to study break. Love yall.

[moestavern]

The HOMOE Masterpost

Shoutout to @butchbarneygumble for oking me to steal this idea from their Moeney Masterpost! Go peep that btw.

I see almost no one acknowledge all the gay shit these two have going on so i have to ship them all by myself and honestly that's unacceptable given how much this show implies between them. And with a ship name like Homoe? You have got to be kidding me they were handed to me on a golden fucking plater.

Blah blah i know these are jokes or w/e but its a show, no one here is real, you are not affected by me wanting these middle aged men to kiss each other (more than they already do) so lets get on with it!

This is currently only clips from the show, i will go through the comics/books/etc. if anything's hidden in there and ill add it to this post in the future.

This is gonna be a long post so everything is gonna be under the cut.

Episode: (S2E11) One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish

Homer Kisses Moe. Moe responds with "not in public". So in private then?

H: Oh words wont do it- I love you Moe M: Not in public

---

Episode: (S8E3) The Homer they Fall

Just this whole episode.

H: Are you an angel? M: Yes Homer, Im an angel. All us angles wear Farah slacks. H: But you stopped the fight. Wont everyone be mad at you? M: Eh, lettem be mad. The only thing that matters to me is your'e safe. - D: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.

---

Episode: (S9E16) Dumbbell Indemnity

Dancing together + hints throughout. "if you squint" kinda stuff but ill take my breadcrumbs.

---

Episode: (S11E6) Hello Gutter Hello Fadder

Homer and Moe consider one another life partners.

Ma: Well, the one sure cure for the blues is to talk it over with your life partner. H: You're right! - H: I cant believe it Moe. The greatest feet of my life is already forgotten. M: Geez, Homer. I never seen ya this depressed. As your life partner, Im very worried.

---

Episode: (S11E10) Little Big Mom

When Lisa calls the tavern, Moe asks if Homer is going to another bar like its a cheating situation. Look at me however you want that's how im taking this. Moe's clingy.

M: Hey uh- is Homer there? L: No, he isn't. I dont know where he is. M: Im a little worried. He usually stops in for an eye opener on the way to work. L: He told us he'd been going to the gym. M: Uhahaha- Wow. Anyway, you dont think he could be at another bar do ya? Because i couldnt take that- i- i just couldnt. *crying*

---

Episode: (S11E16) Pygmoelian

Homer tells Moe his acting is a turn on.

M: The one hole ive never been able to fix is the one in my soul. H: That was amazing Moe. Im actually a little turned on. M: Yeah, hey i gotta gift.

---

Episode: (S16E7) Mommie Beerest

The thing i dont say is that i primarily ship all three of them together especially during late seasons. Reading "Moe takes the place of marge" jokes as shippy is- a bit of a stretch? whatever, it includes Moe telling Homer "i love you" and Homer calling Moe "Honey".

H: What would Marge say? M: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. H: Ok honey, ill do it! Ma: What's going on here? M: Nothin- Nothing.

Also Homer and Moe sharing a bed 1/2.

---

Episode: (S17E5) Marge's Son Poisoning

If i had a nickel for every time Moe and Homer were called life partners id have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice. (This has to be a lie, im certain there is a third time this has happened, i have yet to find it again) "They're lying, they're trying to hustle" um stfu- idc that's his life partner. he said so.

RT: God dern it son- what tha hell kinna sissy are you? M: Hey are you calling my life partner a sissy? Cause a hundred bucks says he could whoop you in arm wrestling.

---

Episode: (S18E6: Moe n' a Lisa)

Moe tells Homer he loves him.

H: Seriously Moe, I think you have a gift. M: Thanks Homer, I love you man. H: OoooOH you love a man.

---

Episode: (S20E8) The Burns and The Bees

Moe explains bees having sex to Homer and Homer thinks Moe is talking about the two of them.

H: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? M: Actually Homer *whispering* H: *gasp* You and me? M: No. The bees. H: Oh! Yeah yeah. That's what i meant too. I... have no... inclination...

---

Episode: (S21E30 The Great Wife Hope)

Moe takes Homer dressed as Marge to his class reunion. He says he took Barney the year before.

M: Lets go Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. H: Uh, Moe, i have a confession to make. Im just Homer dressed as Marge. M: Yeah, but last year i took Barney dressed as Marge. Think how much better they'll think you look. Hmm? H: Well you better not leave me and talk to your old friends all night. M: Keep talkin like that and ill leave ya here right now.

---

Episode: (S21E21) Moe Letter Blues

Homer kisses Moe.

H: Moe, i dont know rather to punch you or kiss you. So im gonna do both.

---

Episode: (S24E2) Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Look, i know its a demon that looks like Moe and NOT Moe. But cmon what was this???

H: Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. Is there any other deal you can accept? D: Three way. H: Hm- You, me, Marge? D: Demon, demon, you. H: Sigh- I guess its one of those things a dad has to do. - H: Now before we start, what's the safe word? D: Cinnamon H: Oh! I like that. Now, id like to try something new, if you dont mind. D: Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Cinnamon!

---

Episode: (S25E12) Diggs

Ok- so the way Bart describes his feeling for Diggs is really queer and Homer immediately compares that to his feelings towards Moe.

B: I met this kid. Little older. Kinda strange. I dont think other people get him but i just wanna hang out with him all the time. H: *gasps* Its even better than i thought. You found your Moe Szyslak!

---

Episode: (S27E10) The Girl Code

Homer kisses Moe.

M: Hey what tha hell? Get your kisser off my head puss! H: What? Its how greek men say 'hello'. Non sexual guy kissing is the best.

---

Episode: (S28E4) Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Moe kisses a picture of Homer twice.

Thanks @leibi97 for remembering this one for me!

--- Episode: (S28E13) Fatzcarraldo

Homer calls Moe his "sweet wonderful bartender"

H: i had a great day and i really wanna celebrate with the boys so dont wait up for me my sweet wonderful bartender, Moe. M: Alright but whos the boys? H: Marge's boobs. See ya!

---

Episode: (S29E16) King Leer

Homer carrying Moe into the store. But also i like this episode over all from a Homoearge standpoint.

M: When i cross this threshold i begin a new life! *Picked up by Homer* This is the first time that ive ever been carried into a store. Look at me now lady foot locker! Look at me now.

---

Episode: (S32E15) Do Pizza Robots Dream of Electric Guitars

Ok guys THIS is what im talking about when i say in later seasons i kinda ship all three of them.

Ma: Did you see how he ate his breakfast? He doesn't shuffle his pancakes like a deck of cards. He doesn't air drum while driving, or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. And he always won. He's not my Homie anymore. B: We didnt notice any of that. Ma: A wife knows. M: And a bartender. Hes just- hes just not the same. He dont spin Barney around on the stool no more. He dont drink beer from a crazy straw just a sensible straw. What are we gonna do about our little man Midge? Ma: Were just gonna have to love him that much more. M: I didnt think that was possible. - B: Im used to seeing mom upset about dad, but Moe. That really shook me.

---

Episode: (S35E7) Its A Blunderful Life

They love each other :)

M: How dare you show your face in here. H: Moe, its me, and beneith all the drinking and the jokes we have a real relationship. And that means something. M: What are you gettin at? H: C'mon man. Deep down, we kinda love each other. H: *thrown through window* M: Love you too

---

Episode: (S35E15) Cremains of the Day

Moe and Homer share a bed 2/2.

M: Oh cmon Lenny, ghosts aint real. eh

Holding each other.

---

Episode: (S35E17) The Tipping Point

Dont- Even- Get- Me- Started

M: Exact change huh? Thats it? H: Aw, i really wanna tip ya Moe, but i promised my wife id quit. M: Heres a thought Homer. What if you took the moolah outta your pocket but you just stopped before anything happened? Ya know, everything but the tip. H: That dosent seem like it could lead to anything. M: Sure it couldnt. H: *slowly hands Moe ten dollars* H: We shouldnta done that. M: Does that mean- that you wanna stop? H: No *hands Moe more money* *moaning* It feels so good *hands Moe more money* M: Dont stop you generous man *handed more money* *moaning* Aw yeah give it to me big boy H: *handing Moe more money* You like that? M: Oh thats the spot H: I can do this all night M: Right there H: Tell me you want it M: Oh god- Oh god- Oh god- Oh god! H: Yes- Yes- Yes- Yes! *Wallet sprays money on Moe* C: I need a new bar. - M: *following Homer out of the bar* Where ya goin? H: I cant stop tippin Moe. Im hooked on tha rush! I gotta monkey on my back and hes got his hand out. M: But, what about us? H: No one service worker can satisfy my needs. God help me im a tip-phomaniac.

---

Jesus ok i dont know how to conclude this post. I will make updates to this. I know im missing stuff.

This is about a 3rd of my "moe is bi" list so maybe ill make that its own masterpost.

Someone asked me today what ship dynamic they are and i told them "the dumb one/the evil one/the woman". My spouse and i have been watching Futurama and they pointed out to me it was the same dynamic when i said i saw something between Fry/Bender/Leela as a trio.

[gigglz]

Sneaky

Ler!Hobie

Lee!Miles

(Strictly PLATONIC!! This is a tickle fic.)

Quick, short fic. I LOVE THEM AAAAH

Miles was told he had to train his stealth a bit, kindly saying he wasn't good at it… at all.

His goal according to Peter B. Parker was to successfully scare at least 5 people. Gwen, Pavitr, Peter B. Parker himself, which would be harder considering he was the one giving him the task, Hobie and Jessica. Miles had already scared 3. Gwen, Pavitr, and Jessica. Even for only 3 people it took around 7 tries, since they were all spiderpeople.

He thought for a second. “Hmm. Maybe i should go for Peter next, but then again that would take the longest. I should probably go for the one that doesn’t know what im doing. Hobie. Yeah! Easy enough.”

He spent a good half an hour trying to find him. Turns out he was in some sort of lab… stealing? Of course.

He crawled on the ceiling, invisible of course. Being extra careful to not make a sound.

Hobie was looking around the lab for random parts he could easily fit in his pockets, humming some tune.

Miles was waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

“How long ya gonna wait for?” Hobie suddenly spoke, startling Miles.

Miles wasn’t sure he was talking to him, so he stayed quiet.

“Aye, Miles. Im talking to ya.” Hobie chuckled and looked up, straight at Miles.

“Aw, man…” Miles let out a sigh and jumped down. “How did you know i was there?”

Hobie looked at him. “I knew the moment you arrived, you’re not very good at being sneaky ya know.”

Miles let out a groan. “Yeah…“

“Aye cheer up, bruv. No need to be down in the dumps about it.” Hobie smiled.

Miles looked at him confused “what?”

“Anyways what’re ya trying to do?” Hobie asked while putting something in his pocket again.

“Oh its just- wait, no. Im not gonna tell you.” Miles almost slipped up, it would be so much harder to do if Hobie knew.

“Awe c’mon tell me.” Hobie tapped his shoulder with his fist playfully. “Is it top secret?” He joked.

“Yes, yes it is!” Miles exclaimed.

“Well now i want to know even more, c’mon Miles, were mates! You can tell me.” Hobie leaned against a table, now very eager to know.

“No, no. Not telling you, sorry!” Miles turned to walk away, cause he knew he was eventually gonna tell him if he stayed.

“So ya wanna play like that, do ya? Alright.” Hobie shrugged getting up from the table, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“What does that mean?” Miles stopped, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Oh nothin’… unless you wanna tell me?” Hobie grinned.

“Wha- no. No way, forget it!” Miles waved his hands at him.

“Alright, alright. Go then. Didn’t wanna know anyway.” Hobie turned away, walking back to the table.

Miles sighed, “thank god.” He started walking to the door, he was gonna try again a bit later.

But before he could leave Hobie spoke up, somehow right behind him. “This is how ya sneak up on people.”

Suddenly Miles felt two hands on his sides. “waitwaitWAIT HOBIE- ACK!” Hobie started wiggling his fingers into the younger boys sides.

“Ya wanna tell me now?” Hobie laughed mischievously.

“nohoho AHAH HOBIEHEHE!” Miles yelped as Hobie switched to tickling his ribs. His legs buckled and he fell to the floor, Hobie catching him.

“Woah, mate. Ticklish much?” Hobie put him on the floor, and switched to his sides again to prevent Miles from getting used to the feeling. “Y’know I can keep this up for as long as i need.” Hobie teased.

“Ehehehe Hobihie nahahAHAH” Miles squirmed, weakly trying to fight him back. “STAHAHAP NAHAHAAA”

“So ya wanna tell me yet? Or do i need to keep going?” Hobie chuckled with miles.

“ihim nohohot telling yohoHOU NOHOO” Miles threw his head back and kicked his feet.

“Well if you insist, I’m having fun so i dont plan on stopping any time soon. Hey, yer hips ticklish?” Hobie didnt wait for an asnwer and went for his hips.

Miles SCREAMED. “NAHAA OHO MAHAHAI GAHAHAD HOBIHIE NOHOOH AGHAHA” Miles bucked and shook his head frantically. Trying to pry Hobies hands off of his hips.

“I guess they are, dont try to fight me, only way ill stop is if you tell me!��� He pressed his hands into Miles’ hips a little stronger, laughing with him.

“OHOKAY OKAHAHAY JUST STOHOHAHAHA-“ Miles could barely speak, it tickled so bad.

As promised Hobie stopped as soon as Miles told him to. “Alright, spill it. Unless you want to go for round 2? I wouldn’t mind.” He smirked.

“im good, ihim gohohood.” Miles was still giggling.

“So?” Hobie looked at him intrigued.

“Ihits just some stupid task Peter gave me, apparently im not stealthy enough. So i have to scare 5 people, you were one of them.” Miles held his sides, trying to get rid of the ghost tickles.

“Ohoh! So thats what it is! I have to agree with Parker here.” He chuckled.

Miles groaned, he knew Hobie was right.

“Better luck next time, bruv! Just watch your back. Maybe ill be the one sneaking up on you, aye?” He teased Miles as he helped him up to his feet.

Miles chuckled, a little embarrassed.

“Alright, alright. I will.” Miles said as he wiped his shoulder to get a little dust off of it.

“I suggest catching them in an environment where its not so silent, like here.” Hobie pointed around the lab.

“Ah, yeah. You're right.” Miles chuckled.

“Alright go, get Peter first, then come back to me. Always stay alert.” Hobie wiggled his fingers at Miles, chuckling.

Miles cringed a little, shook his head and turned to leave, yeah, no he definitely was gonna go for Peter next.

[montimer]

Joker x reader

Reader works at a store

gn!reader, could be any joker ig

Summary: the store is getting robbed by the joker but as tired as you are, you just give the money to him. (Based on the ep 'jokers millions' cuz he needs cash)

____________________________

It was pretty late. A few customers were walking around the store. You just quietly stood behind the register, waiting for your shift to end.

And that is when you heard a gunshot, then glass breaking. Two tall man entered the store, they had clown make up on and wore black clothing.

They didn't move, not until another men came in. He was in purple, wearing a hat, making half of his face covered in a shadow. "Alright boys, lets make this quick" he snapped his fingers ordering them.

He then looked around and his eyes landed on you. Or atleast that two dots that were seeable.

You felt so tired, stressed and exhausted, you just waited for something to happen.

He made his way towards you in fast steps. Only when he got closer did you realize that the man infront of you was no other than The Joker himself.

You noticed his flower and that smile you recognize on posters.

He raised his gun at you demanding money. You just nodded at him as you opened the register. "Okay okay, lower that thing man"

You handed him the cash that was in there, about...50 bucks. He almost looked surprised. Maybe cuz you actually listened with out crying for your life. Or maybe cuz you seemed unimpressed? Well it is gotham after all.

Not that you weren't afraid at the moment.

"Ah..good choice. You're a smart one"

He put his gun and the money in his pocket. He looked back up at you.

"Happen to know the code for the safe?"

You giggled at him. He made a surprised face once again, you had to hold back from laughing.

"Ya really think this poor store has a safe? Only the boss has more money on him. And he went home like two hours ago. Sorry"

"Huh, he left?!"

"Yeah..he always does that. He leaves the store for us to close. About that..my shift ends in 20 minutes and i don't wanna deal with that" you point at the broken windows.

He looks back at you.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Well its not my fault that its broken-"

"No, i mean. Aren't you afraid of me? I mean do you even know who ya talking to?"

"The charming prince of crime. The Joker, yeah yeah i know.. i heard about you"

The word charming made him smile.

"You know what sweets, i like ya! You aren't like the others. Oh and by the way. The gun wasn't loaded"

You blink in surprise and he just laughed.

"Low on bullets that is.. but you're very cooperative. I like that." He put his hands up picturing you.

"Well gotta fly before batboy and birdie comes looking for me. Wish i could steal more of your time."

You look at your clock. Your shift has ended. Plus you survived an encounter with a villain. But at what cost.

"Heres my card. Er, and your name sweet?"

"..Y/n..Y/n L/n.."

"I'll keep that in my memory"

He petted your head, he then waved and whistled for his hench men. They left the store running as you tried to keep yourself together.

'Maybe i should have gave him a fake name, would he have been mad then?' You took a look at the card he gave you. It was a normal poker card. A joker card.

'Mmm. Im just gonna go home and deal with this later'

Little did you know you just made this crazy clown interested in you.

[xixovart]

whats up guys its mali and im back with more pjo headcanons

because i literally nEVER shut up

nico di angelo is bae and i would die for him

ok i know his hair is described as like shoulder length (i think idk) but we HAVE to consider nico with unbelievably long gorgeous hair i beg

estelle’s brother. no questions asked. i feel like nico and estelle would be a power duo to rival annabeth and thalia yeah i said it. percy says estelle cant have candy at night? nico sneaks a tootsie roll in her pillow case. nico helps her with her homework. nico fights her bullies. nico’s relationship with estelle is what a 10 y/o nico’s relationship could’ve been with percy. ykwim?  wine aunts nico and reyna we have to consider this

ok as a sequel nico is really good with kids. idk why. no one knows why. kids love him.

will has the absolute WORST sense of style mankind has ever bore witness to and nico is an unintentional fashion icon. nico genuinely doesn't care that his bf looks like a bad teen beach movie adaptation though it's ok.

youre lying to yourself if you think nico di freaking angelo wouldnt love dinosaurs as a kid

this child was the bane of maria di angelo’s existence. i swear. imagine maria fighting for her LIFE trying to give 3 year old nico a bath just for nico to IMMEDIATELY run outside and fall face first in the mud. imagine nico stealing money from maria and accidentally giving the gelato man a hundred bucks, maria being none the wiser. if you've ever watched full house toddler nico is very michelle coded.

i know its canon that he likes marvel (thx will kayla and austin) but i think he would REALLY love batman. i mean c'mon, it's nico. it's batman. they're soulmates. 

percy going into the redesigned cabin 13 for the first time have we considered his reaction?? “dang btch you live like this???” “what were you expecting” “idk weapons everywhere rock walls a waterfall for a door ig i was just picturing the batcave 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️”

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT NICO GOES TO PERSEPHONE’S GARDEN AND THAT ITS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE PLACES AND LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN.

nico is the modt sarcastic little gremlin to his dad (and everyone, but his dad especially). are uou seriously telling me he wouldn't annoy hades on purpose. let's be real here guys. nico prank calling his dad is the reason im alive. 

“is your… refrigerator running?”

“nico do not fucking start with me i have a headache”

“oh yeah i'm listening to really cool rock metal cool music rn totally” (old italian music blasting from his headphones)

this kid has a guy for EVERY occasion. imagine rhe weirdest situation you could possibly be in, nico knows a guy. “ok where are we gonna find a tap dancing elephant??” “i know a guy”

when he eats ambrosia it tastes like the blue birthday cake he shared with percy im not ok

“so we’re all 16 and none of us knows how to drive??” “i can get us there” “nico you’re like 13 years old.” “and european?? hand me the keys”

ok so you can expect he has unbelievably beautiful penmanship because he was raised in 1930’s italy and you are so right. looking at his writing is like a blessing 

im listening to a pearl by mitski rn and it reminds me of him im so sad

side note i think he would really like mitski

he seems like he would be afraid of clowns. don't ask about my thought process for this i just feel it ykwim

nico would get his shit ROCKED by a nerf gun

“wHY IS THE MICROWAVE SCREAMING AT ME” “nico that just means your food is done.”

i will NEVER shut up about nico di angelo’s accent. rolled r’s, hard i’s, speaking unbelievably fast and tripping over his words. italian!! “oh but mali, in house of hades the seven were surprised to learn nico was italian.'' first of all i love the seven but its rlly dumb of them not to notice nico was italian when his last name is DI ANGELO. second. a certain 11 year old nico trained himself out of his accent as a method for escapism, he wanted to flee his past and his family and his descent, and he wanted to fit in. of course he would hide his accent. his time at camp half blood (and ofc his quest with reyna, and jason’s acceptance of him) helped him start to embrace his heritage and past. when he started dating will, he ofc began to trust will more than anybody else. every so often, nico would let his guard down and let his accent slip. eventually, he started using it freely around everybody. i see this hc as a part of his growth and character development and even if it’s a small detail it means a lot to me.

he takes his curly hair routine VERY seriously

bushy eyebrows idk where this came fr9m just bear with me

nico uses disassociation as a coping mechanism a LOT. he’ll zone out at random for hours at a time and chb has a very strict rule about not bothering campers with ptsd when they’re disassociated unless necessary, so he’ll just sit at the dinner table for ages and when he comes back to reality it’s been like 3 hours. 

 “you came out of the blue like that. i never could've seen you coming, i think you're everything i wanted.” by gracie abrams except it’s nico realizing he likes will 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️