#im gonna post this because i feel like someone else would have some thoughts on this?
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While we're here, I just want to add an example of a good response to Harris' video.
In the first half of the video, Harris briefly mentions a creator called Lukeypoo (who now goes by Luke Stephens) who had plagiarised Harris' Bloodborne review, and his response at the time was to deny it, signal to his alt right buddies and insult Harris.
After the video came out, Luke Stephens made a post on his community page regarding it:
For those, who can't see the screenshots, it reads:
A video went up on YouTube last night that showed something I did 6 years ago in early 2017, of which I'm very ashamed. I've talked about it on stream plenty since then and try to be very open about it, but I know a lot of people haven't been watching me since 2017 or have not heard me discuss this before. I don't want to hide from my mistakes or deflect, so very plainly here's what happened:
I was just starting on YouTube and I ripped off a phenomenal video on Bloodborne. It was a fantastic video by hbomberguy and after finding it through a Reddit post I tried to take his 1.5 hour masterpiece and make my own suckier version at around 7 minutes. I copied the premise, jokes, structure, and then pretended like it was all just a coincidence that they were so similar. I was a 19 year old idiot who thought it didn't matter because "he's a bigger creator so it's fine" and "it's just the internet." When I was rightly called out for copying his video I dodged, lied, and even attacked and insulted the appearance of those holding me to account, including hbomberguy himself. I copied someone's video, in parts word-for-word, and I pretended like *I* was the victim and *they* were being unreasonable. Unbelievable. There is no question at all: I was in the wrong, fully.
Let me be very clear: I whole heartedly disown who I was back then and what I did. Politically, religiously, and even morally/ethically I was a person that I hate today. I was an extremist, a bully, a religious zealot, and above all, a prick. This event sparked a spiral in my personal life that I didn't document online, but that has led me to who I am today. Someone who tries very hard to respect my fellow creators, audience, and to uphold a high ethical standard for myself. I strive every day to be a better man for myself, my family and kids, and for the community around me. And that's why I'm writing this, because I don't think we should hide from our mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. I screwed up, big time, and I stole the hard work of an incredibly talented creator and for that I'm incredibly sorry. I was 19, hard headed, and above all arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge I had screwed up. It took a couple years after that before I could openly admit what I had actually done, and that it took that long is all the more shameful.
I don't expect a response or certainly forgiveness, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for everything, @hbomberguy
For the last 6 years I've been working my butt off to be someone I can be proud of being and I hope you all can see that the man I am today is not the shameful excuse of a person I was back then.
I've never watched a video or stream by Luke Stephens so I can't attest as to his content, but this is one of the best responses I've seen to any kind of accusation, and so I lean towards believing him to be a better man than he was six years.
I thinks it's important to highlight the good response/s to Harris' video, to remind ourselves that plagiarism is not such an immoral action that from which you can't redeem yourself (though in Somerton's case, I'm less sure of that) if you take accountability for your actions, and to remember that in most cases, we should give people space to grow and become better.
The swiftness and brutality of Hbomberguy’s complete evisceration of James Somerton’s career cannot be overstated.
#i saw this a few days ago and its stayed on my mind#and i havent seen many other people talk about it so i thought i would#also this is unrelated by im not gonna ever put this in an actual post so im going to use these tags to get it off my chest#i rewatched the video yesterday and it aas during harris' speech about how art is difficult and a skill#that i kinda had an epiphany i guess#(have not used that word in a while huh)#because thrice within the last few years#ive come across fics on ao3 where while i wouldnt call it plagiarism the authors did very much steal a considerable amount from my fics#some less than others#one of them used some of the exact same sentences as mine so i guess that one was plagiarism#but they all took a nontrivial amount of ideas or plotbeats or phrasings from my fics#and each time i was in three minds: 1) i found it kinda funny honestly though i cant articulate why; 2) i was flattered because i dont#really think my fics are worth stealing from; and 3) holy shit i baked one of the holy shit two cakes#i wasnt really upset by it especially because i know my work has been inspired by fics i love at times#but after rewatching harris' video#i realised it wasnt that i wasnt upset but that i wasnt allowing myself to be#because i didnt consider my work as something you could steal from? i didnt consider it worthy of that#like not as in ''oh i didnt know my art was that good'' but as in ''oh i didnt know my work was art''#so ive been allowing myself to be upset about it since then#and all those emotions are probably tangled up in the roots of the treehouse luke stephens' response is squatting in#because like#im not going to do anything about it like im not going to accuse the authors of plagiarism#even the one who stole exact sentences mostly because their writing is indicative of a 13 year old and mate im 23#ive been writing since i was 11. i know what its like to be starting out as a newbie writer it just feels mean for me to call them out#and if theyve stolen lines from me theyre going to have done it to other people and im sure theres someone else who feels more comfortable#in approaching them about it#but anyway back to my point#im not going after any of these people in anyway but if i did id want their response to be like this
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Keith dating hcs please!! and im so glad that their is people still doing voltron! i love that show so so much and I feel like the fandom is dying so quickly😭
hiii!!
ofc i can do keith dating headcanons lovely! im so glad you like voltron too, its taken over my life once again and its sad coming back to the fandom with just a little of us left but i want to continue posting/writing about voltron to keep it alive on tumblr with some other talented creators!!
✦KEITH KOGANE DATING HCS✦
✦before confessing his feelings to you, he had to ask lance for some help
✦it took a lot of contemplating and hyping up but he finally got there!
✦keith would struggle a little at the beginning of the relationship since he's worried you'll leave him for someone better. he would spend nights just staring at his ceiling and thinking how much better off you would be with someone else.
✦though overtime those thoughts would fade away but not completely.
✦he would try to flirt with you, but he'd become very flustered and awkward but you thought it was very adorable by the effort he'd put into it!
✦he is very against PDA (aka public display of affection)!!
✦if you break it, expect a very grumpy, pouty and flustered keith.
✦keith is VERY clingy in your relationship, he’ll just want to constantly be near you especially in social situations.
✦keith gets jealous, he just does. he's scared people are gonna steal you from him.
✦once while on a mission with him, this alien took it upon themself to start flirting with you (because who wouldn't��), keith caught up on this and let me tell you, he was mad.
✦he completely broke the 'no PDA' rule. he wrapped you around in his arm and said "excuse me, but she's taken" with a deadpanned face. man was not having it.
✦i feel like his galra side would make him very territorial, which includes things that belong to him and his personal space.
✦your his and he's yours.
✦surprisingly the only thing that he let pass from his 'no PDA' rule is hand holding, ONLY if he knows that no one else notices (especially Lance or Pidge, they just love to tease him).
✦but they know, they're just snickering quietly to themselves, but shiro keeps them quiet for keith's sake(space dad!!)
✦okay if you guys sleep together, keith demands morning kisses. its the first thing he needs wants. when he wakes up don't be surprised to be showered in kisses!
✦this man does NOT care about morning breath, he just loves you so much!!
✦though, if you sleep in your own beds let say, he'll just brush his teeth (as will you🫵)
✦i feel like keith's hugs will be super comforting and long, especially if he's feeling a little sleepy (and he may just hug you around the other paladins if he is really tired)
✦(yk sometime you just got to break the rule, he just can't resist hugging you. it just makes him feel so warm and comforted.)
✦we all know that keith loves you to bits but he does get embarrassed about what the others will think when they see him so lovey dovey and intimate.
✦he needs to keep the tough guy act okay, its a full-time job (its really not)
✦but just keep reminding him to be himself ☻!!
OKAY WE'VE MADE IT TO CUDDLING!!!!
✦(im sorry i just love cuddles💗 ahhhh)
✦this man would sell his soul for a cuddle from you. IN PRIVATE sadly.
✦he loves little snuggles before drifting off to sleep after an exhausting day.
✦he loves when you pepper kisses all over his face, neck, collarbone and shoulders
✦he also loves when you play or run your fingers through his hair, he finds it so soothing.
✦also don't deny any of his affection! IT WILL SEND THIS DUDE INTO SEVERE POUTY-NESS.
✦he just loves you so so so much!! so it will break his heart (not literally).
✦your the definition of the sun to his moon.♥︎
(i dont think i used that correctly ☹︎ but trust the thought process)
✦you always have to remind him that if he dies, you die too. in hope to make him less reckless on missions (he's still reckless).
✦also before he leaves for a mission he always gives you a sweet little kiss at the forehead/temple and definitely expect a kiss when he gets back!!
☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚
✦in the end he loves you dearly and would do anything for you ☻♥︎
★。\|/。★
-love,
. marra✧˖*°࿐
★。/|\。★
#voltron#voltron x reader#vld#voltron legendary defender#keith x reader#keith kogane#vld keith#headcanons#keith voltron#voltron shiro#shiro#keith vld#keith kogane x reader#i love keith#keith is mine#i-am-married-to-keith-kogane#vld x reader#my headcanons#dating headcanons#hcs#my hcs#headcannons
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i’m your girl - ellie williams
ellie 📸 creds - s9ession on pinterest (and tiktok)
ellie williams x reader, slight!abby x reader
₊* summary : after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, your best friend ellie offers a little more than some much needed quality time together.
₊* warnings : smut minors dni, language, cheating, dom!ellie 🤭 sub!reader, light spanking, abby and ellie tensionnnn, slight ellie x cat, reader uses she/her pronouns, intended lowercase, bad writing, not proof read. if i miss any please let me know!! 🤍
₊* a/n : EEEEK hi everyone! this is my FIRST EVER FIC! don’t be fooled though, i’ve been apart of this lovely community for years and have loved reading all of your lovely works!! i really wanted to try and give this a shot because im a hoe and i have some crazy thoughts that i think need to be shared (this one really isn’t crazy this is like the third thing i’ve written so we are going to ease into it 🫡)
anyways i am so excited to share my first fic! it would mean the world if you guys left some positive feedback or constructive criticism so i know how to grow!! i’m also looking for new friends since i don’t post on here so if you want to be friends hmu 😋 i love you all!! again i hope beauties enjoy!!
🇵🇸 as always, please keep spreading information and support for Palestine! 🇵🇸
▹ daily click
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walking back from a study sesh, your bubbly laugh fills the halls of dorm as your best friend her story of a disastrous hookup.
“oh my god, ellie. that would happen to you,” you huff out, trying hard to calm yourself down. ellie chuckles while smiling down at you. “i can’t believe cat said a different name!” you couldn’t stop you laughter as ellie explained the awkward interacting with cat. your laugh was her favorite sound in the whole world, which is why she always loved to tweak her stories just a bit. she knew just about everything about you, so of course she knew what made you come undone in a fit a laughter. so maybe cat didn’t actually say someone else’s name. maybe ellie said someone else’s name. maybe she said your name. but you don’t have to know that.
“yeah ya know” she shrugs a bit and pauses. “maybe she just isn’t right for me,” ellie shrugs nonchalantly. “anyways, is abby gonna be in the room?” ellie questions.
“yeah hope that’s okay with you, i didn’t tell her we were coming back so early so she will probably just be in our room and out somewhere,” you explain, as you reached for your dorm room keys. living with your girlfriend in the same dorm room would have some calling you a bit risky, but you never had any doubts with your relationship with abby. you’ve been together for a year now, you trusted her, she treated you good, and you were even kind of starting to picture your life together. however; that daydream becomes a distant afterthought as soon as you open the door of your dorm room. in front of you is your, now ex-girlfriend, naked and on top of none other than the infamous cat who ellie has talked your ear off about.
“what the fuck” you whisper out, your voice coming out raspy as your eyes quickly start swelling up with tears and your throat swells up. abby and cats giggles soon turn into gasps and their heads fly towards your direction. you feel ellie come to your side and put her arm on your back. “why don’t we just step outside quick, baby,” ellie sadly begs you, her voice full of sympathy, but also anger. how could anyone take advantage of such a beautiful girl. her gaze lands right on a worries looking abby who is rushing to put her clothes back on.
“baby no wait look please just give me a sec let me explain it’s not what it looks like,” abby rambles out a bullshit story but you can’t hear anything around you. your tears now rapidly falling.
“what- what- what the fu-fuck abby!” at this point, you can’t control any emotions. it’s impossible to try and stop any tears now. you’re defeated, hurt, and feeling betrayed. you quickly spew out a few choice words at the two girls rushing to get dressed, but slowly relax and fall into the tall body next to you. she gently grabs your arm and drags you out the door, whispering apologizes and begging for you to focus on her as you still throw some daggers at abby. finally clothed, abby forgets all about the girl she was just fingers deep in and rushes out the door towards you.
“hey hey hey please just wait please” abby calls your name as ellie continues to guide you towards her dorm. you can’t even look at her as you continue to cuddle into ellie, who’s arm is gently placed around your figure, shielding you from your panicking ex.
“just fuck off abby you’ve done enough give her some space” ellie turns to yell towards the blonde who’s still right on your tail.
“you can shut the fuck up and stay out of this williams” abby barks back. “this is between me and her, and the last time i checked, she wasn’t your girlfriend.” ellie’s hearts cracks a little at the sentence, wanting none other to call you hers.
“well after the way you just cheated on her, i don’t think she will be yours very soon either,” ellie smirks. abby and ellie get pretty angry pretty fast, spewing out nasty things about each other and who can treat you the best. you were going to go insane. all you wanted to do in this moment was cry.
“ellie?” suddenly, ellie stops at the soft voice that just called her name. she saw you, teary-eyed, staring at her with the most heartbroken look on her face. her eyes softened and jaw unclenched. her heart broke at the sight of you, but still could not get over the fact that you still looked angelic. “can we please go?” you didn’t even have to ask ellie twice. she nodded her head and gave you a quiet ‘of course’ with a sympathetic smile on her face, but didn’t leave without staring the girl in front of her down. she then turned towards you and flung her arms over your shoulder. leaning her head on yours, you two walked together back to ellie’s room.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the usual 5-minute walk back to ellie’s dorm felt like hours as it become harder and harder to hold back your tears. ellie didn’t speak one word to you, she understood that all you wanted in this moment was to be silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth once, you would burst out into tears again.
as you two reached her room, she gave a soft “hold on baby” and slowly released her grip on yours so she could unlock her door. you two entered an empty room thanks to dina, ellie’s roommate, visiting jesse at his campus. as much as you loved dina, you were so thankful you could just be alone with your best friend and cry. as soon as you heard ellie shut the door, it was exactly what you did.
as soon as she heard your heartbreaking sobs, ellie quickly rushed over to your side and engulfing you with her toned arms. she shushed you quickly and rocked back and forth, doing everything in her power to try and somehow make your beautiful face smile again.
“i can’t fucking believe her” you finally speak up after several minutes of silence and sniffles. ellie looks over at you, startled after not hearing your voice in a while. “we were together for over a year, we were literally living together in the same fucking room, like, where does she think i’m gonna go now? i’m not living there anymore i fucking hate her!” your sadness has now turned into rage and your slowly growing louder as your rant goes on.
“hey hey hey,” ellie tried to calm you down. “don’t worry about all that now, okay baby? you’re gonna stay with me, and you me and dina are gonna have a big slumber party and have pillow fights and make cookies and talk about boys.” ellie’s joke works miracles and brings a small smile on your face and a little giggle reaches ellie’s ears.
“there she is,” ellie smiles. “i missed that beautiful laugh.” you can’t help but get a little flustered at her comment. now that you were done with abby, your relationship was quickly forgotten when you remembered just how much you were in love with ellie before. you always thought she was so beautiful, and of course she always treated you like a princess.
when you finally worked up enough courage to speak, a quiet “i’m sorry, ellie” left your lips.
“what are you apologizing for baby?” ellie asks you with a confused look on her face. in the moment of catch your girlfriend fucking another girl, you totally forgot all about your own best friend and her crush, and how she was probably going through the same emotions as you right now.
“i’ve been being so selfish. i’ve only been thinking about me and my relationship that i completely forgot about your obsession with cat” you sadly smile and give her an apologetic look. you remembered all the times that ellie would gush about cat with you
“cats skirt looks so good” ellie seductively says to you while you grab your things out of your locker. you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt.
or that one time when you two were putting off studying in your deserted dorm room
“wait stop scrolling! there! yes! let’s watch that one.” you questioned her on her choice because it was your favorite movie too and you didn’t think she would ever like it, considering she laughed in your face when you told her about it. “oh um i know yo- um it’s cats favorite movie.” ellie saves herself from almost admitting to you that she may have done a little too much stalking that night and found out a couple of your favorite things.
or the night of the frat party, the night ellie’s compliment to cat broke your heart so much, you’d call it one of the worst nights of your life.
“ok now my turn stop hogging,” you giggle at ellie and she shoves you away from the blunt. she finally hands it over and take a hit. you look around at the view of campus from on top of the frat house. “it’s sooo pretty up here, els.” you giggle as you blow the smoke out. ellie chuckles with you and you two burst into laughing. “oh my god how high are we,” you squeak out “ellie look and tell me how red my eyes are.” you’re suddenly staring straight at ellie, and in her haze she lets out a small ‘woah’.
“i uh i mean uh-“ she stutters out as you question what she meant and furrowed your brows. “i mean i was just looking into your eyes and thinking about cat,” she spews out “you know she just has eyes just like yours,” your small smile falls suddenly and confused brows now turn downwards. “uh yeah cats eyes you know they’re like a beautiful uh” while ellie tries to think, she then stares at you again and describes your eyes. cat has eyes like mine? i could’ve sworn they were different. your cloudy mind is not sober enough to realize what’s actually happening, instead your heart breaks even more, thinking that ellie has probably stared into cats eyes so many times she’s pinpointed every detail about them. once you two tossed out the blunt over the roof, you headed back downstairs together. still hurt with ellie’s rambles, you quickly get away from her as soon as your in the clear, leading you to meet abby. why is the worst time if it led you to meet your girlfriend? well, before the cheating, you would’ve had no idea why.
ellie’s hand in front of your face brings you back to reality, which is not fun. ellie is still sitting next to you on the couch and you have to ask her to repeat what she said.
“i was asking what you were apologizing for, baby. you were the one that got cheated on, not me.” ellie chuckles, but slowly realizes what she said. she see your eyes drop down again and the sadness returns to your face. while she’s quickly trying to come up with something to say to save herself, she stops when you stand upnn
“is it ok if i go use your bathroom real quick?” you sadly ask ellie, and she nods with a small smile on her face. you give her a quiet thanks and walk towards the shared restroom of ellie and dina. ellie brings her hands to her head and scolds herself. if you’re trying to make her feel better and give her a hint, this is NOT the right way to do it. she couldn’t shove down her feeling forever, but she also did not want to confess and risk losing you completely. she tried to clear her mind and think about what dina or jesse would tell her to do in this situation. while trying to focus, she could hear you shuffling around in the bathroom. she knew why you were really in there, she wasn’t stupid. thinking about that just made her feel ten times more guilty. she knew what to do.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
as soon as you go into the bathroom you lock the door and force the tears welling in your eyes to go away. you decided to wash your face with cold water to try and snap yourself out of your emotional roller coaster. you dry your face with the hand towel and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. you were still in so much shock at the events that happened tonight. you take in your messed up appearance and cringe. your bloodshot red eyes were not a pretty sight, and neither was the smudged mascara scattered underneath your eyes. you hope ellie wouldn’t be too grossed out by the way you look right now.
huhhhh?
woah okay the feelings are for sure back. you try to get yourself to look less dead inside by washing your face a couple more times. you opened the bathroom door and slowly walked back out to the couch. you sit back down next to her and put a blanket around yourself, meanwhile she is mindlessly scrollings through netflix trying to find something to watch before she stops on none other than you (and cats) favorite movie.
“oh hey what about this one” she looks over at you with a little smile on her face. you give her a confused look as to why she suggested this one, knowing it was cats favorite movie too.
“but, ellie, won’t that make you, i don’t know, sad?” you question. now she’s the one giving you confused looks.
“why is it like a sad movie or something? i didn’t think it was. i thought we could watch it because it’s your favorite movie and i thought it would make you feel a little bit better,” she smiles back. now you’re even more confused. for starters, she told you it was cats favorite movie, and also, you don’t even remember telling her it was your favorite.
“how’d you know?” you asked her. she replied with a little huh and you asked again. “how’d you know this was my favorite movie? i don’t think i told you that, and i thought it would make you sad because you told me before it was cats favorite movie.” ellie’s face suddenly turns from confused, to scared almost. she stated stuttering and couldn’t form a single word.
after a couple second of struggling, ellie says your name. “it’s not cats favorite movie. i don’t even know cats favorite movie. in fact, i actually don’t know a lot about cat in general.” she looks at you with an almost scared look. now she just completely lost you. when she realizes you still haven’t caught on, she finally begins to explain what she means after a long pause.
“it was never cat”. the room suddenly gets loud, very loud. your ears start to ring and your breath leaves your throat. you couldn’t believe it, again. the whole time you were pushing away your feelings for ellie, she was trying to do the same with her feelings about you. suddenly, you start thinking back to all the moments when you thought ellie was crushing on cat. slowly, more dots start connecting.
you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt. you’re not the only one looking though. if you would’ve turned around to face your best friend again, you would’ve seen her also looking at your ‘plain boring white skirt’, grateful that she quickly replaced ‘your skirt’ with ‘cat’.
or that other night, after the blunt, when you were crying your eyes out to abby. ellie kicking herself outside and hoping, praying even, that you wouldn’t know the actual color of cats eyes, and that maybe you were even dumb enough to not know the specific details of your own (you were).
you wish you could go back and slap the old you in face, that way, you and ellie could’ve avoided this whole abby and cat mess and could’ve been together longer than you and abby ever would’ve been. now you’re staring up at, after she just confessed her feelings for you. you didn’t know what to say, well you did, you wanted to say that you felt the exact same was and you have since the day you met her, but you’re too slow so she keeps explaining to you.
“i’m sorry to bring it up, but when we walked in today, my heart broke. it didn’t break because i saw cat with another girl. it broke because i saw her with your girl, and i never knew anyone would ever be that fucking stupid to throw away someone as gorgeous, generous, and as selfless as you,” she pauses and you cry again for the millionth time tonight; however, this time the tears feel good. happy tears. she continues and says your name in the softest tone possible. “so again, it was never cat. it was you.”
“abby is not ‘my girl’” you cringe. ellie looks up at your quick response. “i always kind of hoped it was you.” you break apart your words, still scared to admit how you feel even though she just spilled her heart out. the response you got back though washed all your worries away.
“can i kiss you?” she asked quietly. you couldn’t believe it (x3). it was finally happening. every single event that happened up to this very moment has vanished from your mind. all you could think about was how you couldn’t nod your head yes faster. she gives you a beautiful grin before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and gently gripping our chin to pull you closer. at last, your lips touched and it was everything you imagined and more. after you two slowly made out for a couple minutes, taking a couple paused to breathe in between, the kisses started turning more aggressive. you jump as you felt a soft touch on ur upper thigh. you relaxed once she placed her full hand on you and rubbed it up and down. you let out a soft moan which made ellie groan and trail kisses down your neck. you whined as you suddenly felt her pull back. her eyes looked right into your eyes, and she placed her forehead against yours. you two panted as you stared into each others sinful gazes. silence took over for a while before ellie suddenly interrupted.
“can i take you to bed baby?” you bit you lip and nodded, your innocent eyes locked on hers. fuck, you were perfect. it made ellie’s iris’ turn black, and she slowly guided you to her room, littering your face with teasing kisses on the way there. she sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on her knees, lips never leaving yours. her hands caressed your thighs once more, rubbing outwards so that your legs slowly separate. your lips follow as she pulls away to see your skirt has ridden up and she smirks, staring directly at your wet panties. “oh baby” she groans, her focus fully on your clothed pussy, begging to be touched. you lean back and tilt your head so you’re staring up at the ceiling, eyes squeezing shut and a moan leaving your mouth as soon as you feel small kisses going up you thighs. “love those fucking sounds, baby. you’re so angelic.”
“el’s. t-touch me,” you beg, but she light slaps your thighs and gives you a couple disappointments tsks.
“sweetheart, you gotta ask nicer.” she pouts up at you, malice in her voice.
“please, el’s, i need you to t-touch me please” you drag out, embarrassed that she has you this worked up and she’s barely touching you yet. she smirks up at you and her kisses get more sloppy the higher she goes, and finally, her mouth is hovering above your cunt, her hot breath purposely breathing heavy. she loved watching you whine and jolt under her touch. how crazy she made you go even with just a couple kisses. she loves how much control she has over you, and how well you listen to her.
“lift up your shirt, pretty girl. wanna see you play with your tits while i eat this pussy.” her words alone make you want to cum, but then it would be over, so you pull yourself together and do as she said. out of no where, you felt a long lick up you pussy, you body tightening suddenly and letting out a humiliatingly loud moan. “that’s right, baby. let me hear you. do i make you feel good? hm?” you shake your head vigorously, staring down into her green eyes staring right back up at you. she now loops her arms around your legs and spreads them further, making you squeak. “fuck, such a pretty fucking pussy,” she moans, and slowly starts licking up and down continuously.
you’re a mess. one hand gripping her hair, trying to push her even more into you, making ellie grunt, her own panties quickly getting wet at how bad you wanna cum. your other hand is placed perfect cupping your left tit, playing with it just like ellie told you to.
“el’s you’re gonna make me cum,” you whine, your eyebrows furrowed and voice raspy. you look so fucking sexy right now, and ellie tries her hardest to take a mental picture for later.
“yeah? you gonna cum baby?” she teasingly asks you and you whimper out a mhm. once again speechless with the way ellie is slopingly eating your pussy.
you suddenly feel a finger teasing your entrance before it slowly slips in. your moans groan louder, and her pace quickens.
“el’s, ca- can i please?” you beg, the knot in your stomach was growing rapidly. she lifted her head up for less than one second, a stern ‘cum’ leaving her lips, before she returns back to where her tongue was. you scream as you do, vision going black as ellie fucks you though your orgasm, fingers now rubbing even faster on your clit, causing you to completely come undone and cum all over her face. she doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and overstimulating under her. when she does, the only sounds in the room are your quick pants, and ellie’s bed as she moves to scoot closer towards you.
“woah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “that was..”
“way overdue” ellie chips in. the two of laugh and you move to lean you head on her shoulder. it’s silent again before you finally speak up.
“i don’t think i ever really thanked you for taking care of my today. i don’t think i would’ve been able to have this much fun today if it wasn’t for you,” you tell her and you feel her hands that were once in your hair, come around and lift your chin to give her a kiss m.
“you don’t need to thank me pretty girl, i wanted to take care of you.” her confession made your heart flutter. “plus i knew that maybe i might have a chance to finally fuck you,” she teases you and you hit her arm, jokingly sending her a scoff.
“you’re right by the way,” she finally adds on. you give her a confused look and hope she takes the hint to explain what she meant. “you’re not abby’s girl.”
“i’m not abby’s girl,” you repeat.
“you’re my girl,” she tells you, eyes never leaving yours, a small smile on her face.
“i’m your girl.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
₊* a/n : ahhhh i really hope you guys liked it! 🤍 if you did please let me know because it would mean the world!
love you soooooo much MUAH
#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie smut#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams angst#abby anderson#abby and ellie#abby angst#lesbian
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୨ৎ My Personal Logan Howlett Headcanons ୨ৎ
Type: fluff, mild hurt / comfort
Word Count: 401
Notes: hello !! thank you guys for all the reposts and likes on my stuff ! it means so much to me :) i recently saw the Deadpool 3 movie and i’m now OBSESSES with Logan. i wrote this while half asleep so i hope u enjoy :) requests are now open for Wolverine !! also, rlly random, im probably gonna redo my intro !!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
- once you guys first met, he was very stand-off-ish because he feared hurting you. he would talk to you but the second he started catching feelings, he kinda backed off. you were the one to confess and reassure him that he would never hurt you.
- the relationship started off slow but it was so worth it later on when he started to get more comfortable around you.
- he’s not the biggest fan of PDA but once you’re alone, he literally can’t stop touching you
- he likes to spoon you when you sleep and when he does, he goes under your shirt to cup at your chest. it’s 100% not sexual, he just really likes the idea of being close to your heart. he doesn’t care how flat or big you are, he’s grabbing your chest. (i can imagine him kneading your chest like a cat, if you have a bigger chest)
- his love language is acts of service and quality time. if you need anything fixed or touched up, he’s your guy. if you sit with him while he fixes stuff? he may now show it on his actual face but he’s smiling like a fool.
- hair… play w his hair…
- nightmares, sadly, come easy with Logan. most of the time he just jolts awake but in rare occasions where he tries to attack the air, you’re always waiting for him and trying to calm him down. ayer these dreams, he’d want you to lay on top of him so he knows you’re there and the pressure eases him like a weighted blanket no matter your size
- he’s not the absolute best at comforting people so he’ll mostly just be an ear to talk into and will hold you if asked. his ‘advice’ is usually “i can kill em for you”
- GOD forbid you get hurt. especially by someone else? he would burn the whole world down to make you happy. he made a promise to protect you and he doesn’t break promises
- i know this literally wouldn’t work but i can imagine him purring when you scratch and run his face. he pushes his head right into your hands and is completely blissed out
- he’s an early riser but tries to not wake you up. sometimes he does and he hushed you back to sleep while rubbing your back.
- i love him sm it’s not funny, logan pls marry me
quick thing !! here’s some Palestine donation links if you wish to donate and help families !
#deadpool#deadpool 3#logan howlett#hugh jackman#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader
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hi meruz please tell me all your thoughts on outer wilds I am absolutely Living rn
HI oh my god i have so many thoughts. I think I'm gonna keep posting fanart so this definitely isnt gonna be my last word on the matter but wow what a game! um... idk if I wanna just type forever but I can give you at least a few key thoughts I had...
It took me a second to get into! I had been waiting for the switch port so I was really excited starting out but there were a couple early play sessions months apart where I was struggling with the controls and overwhelmed with the openness...I have a hard time with a lot of open worlds games because I just..dont have a lot of free time LOL. But I was complaining abt this to my brother and he was also having a hard time rly digging into the game so when he flew over to visit me a couple weeks ago I was like ok lets do this together (incentivizing gaming by making it social/co-operative). And we had a blast!!! it rly is the type of game you can play as co-op just by having someone else on the couch or on stream doin the thinking alongside you or bouncing theories off of. I do think he's a much better puzzle solver than me though lol (he works in research, so he's got that researcher brain), he made a lot of the leaps of logic way early while I was still turning things over in my head lmao.... AND he's better with the controls because he plays a lot of flight sims?! i think he got annoyed watching me bumble around anytime i had the controller. my sole contribution was doing the stealthy parts in the dlc because im stupid and consequentially lack fear.
I kind of grew up playing majoras mask and windwaker like that was the era of zelda games I was rly activated and engaged for as a kid and I didn't realize how much I was missing and craving that type of experience again LOL. I think especially with how I personally felt that tears of the kingdom was narratively and structurally a step down from botw... idk... i mean you can tell from interviews abt Outer Wilds that the devs clearly have a lot of affection for and thoughts abt the Zelda series as well and I think Outer Wilds was like such a good encapsulation of everything I loved abt those games and also everything I wish they would do lol!! IT ALSO kind of solved a lot of my pain points with open world games and did it in a way that was so elegant... like I think i initially recoiled at the openness but then when i started exploring and realized the scope and level of detail it rly clicked into place.. im just in awe.
umm i love every hearthian they were all so charming. it rly did feel like an older school of nintendo rpg where every npc has so much personality lol. i loved that every alien race in the game was some weird animal like the designs for all of them were rly good. i love that it was a "worn" universe and that everything looked old or used. I love astronomy and space and space concepts but I don't really like really lofty and impersonal/minimalist scifi so i feel like this was a great and accessible art direction for me personally. i especially thought the backpacking/outerdoorsy aesthetic was really inspired! I think "exploration" sometimes exists on a spectrum where one end of it can be really colonialist/militaristic LOL... UM which im not like. fully against i think it can be an interesting idea to dissect? but i feel like we see it a lot and it was neat to see this which felt like the complete opposite end of that spectrum. weirdly enough playing Outer Wilds made me immediately go and finally finish Firewatch right after but I felt a little spoiled I was like ehh..that was good but it wasn't Outer Wilds LOL.
i think a lot of the themes reminded me of lord of the rings/tolkien lore LOL IDK. I GUESS THIS IS LIKE BIG SPOILERS SO if you havent played dont read but like. the entire concept of being born at the end of a great and enormous world/age with a rich history and you only getting to see the end of it, living in the shadow of great civilization...keeping your humble home in your heart idk. but then also the new world being a song ... I'm a sucker. I love it.
yeah sorry only compliments. anyways yeah i want to do more fanart... soon!! hopefully!
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FINALLY FINISHED THE REF SHEET PLUS OTHER DRAWINGS YAAYYY okay so i had the ref sheet done basically two days ago BUT i wanted to draw some more because my ref sheets look so......just stand there kinda scary so MORE ART !!! also skip if you are seeing this when i say our mcs twin bro......we are so mind connected with the skeleton sweaters my lord when i logged on and saw that both step 2 designs had them..........my goodness..i think we might just be the same person....
I want to try and flesh out relationships and dynamics more i think thats something i kind of struggle with with ocs so..that is what the rest of this post will be backstory, character traits, etc etc if you chose to read i will love you forever
Step 1: Gosh...I love making characters really reeaaallllyyy awkward and that's exactly what Lenae is. Her awkwardness is really just stemming from anxiety or nervousness. Qiu and her's dynamic is so sweet to me I love characters being to nervous to say things and then another saysit for them omg im weak yeah thats so them. Lenae and Tam on the other hand....it's not like Lenae doesn't liker her she knows she means well and is extremely sweet but Lenae just can't understand why she is so loud and energetic all the time, she finds it hard to keep up. She IS the sweetest kid you would ever come across though, she will do anything to see you smile. Her earmuffs are a constant, everyone else may think it's just a comfort thing but it is in fact a noise thing we just don't know that yet guys(undiagnosed autism is craayyy)
Step 2: Still being that same shy, sweet kid while looking emo AND TRANSGENDER?? not for the weak. Still shy and reserved maybe even more so but no one really expects anything else. I think meek is a very good descriptor, they get freaked so so easily like has never had a peaceful day in their life. However, Halloween IS their favorite time of the year, it's an aesthetics thing i guess. If you pass by Lenae in the halls you would probably think that they were on their last few threads of patience by the sour look on their face but no, they could be having the best day of their life with that face on. They found it tiring to keep that placid smile on their face all the time when it wasn't always real. In this stage Lenae has definitely started expierimenting with different art mediums like dabbling in painting, poetry, music, you name it. Qiu and Lenae are still the bestest friends ever(bestest crushes ever???) and it's actually kind of nice to have someone by your side who knows what you're going through with your gender identity struggle and everything. Lenae for sure feels bad for how they treated Tam just because they thought she was a little much, I mean it was kind of hypocritical, so they've been trying to make it up to her by being kind of everyly nice?? oh boy oh boy
Step 3: I really don't know a lot of what I could write for step 3 since like nothing of it is out in the actual game SO were just gonna go like personality kind of wise y'know? I think they've definitely mellowed out AT LEAST A LITTLE...like omg guys they can sometimes order for themselves at restaurants!! They're very opinionated and has a strong stance on what they believe but like not in a mean way they just don't understand why others would think differently. Building on their creative abilities, they probably have plans to go to a college for art or fashion. Or maybe they'll start their own business who knows! It's okay to not have everything planned out anymore, some spontaneity is welcome in their life. Now that they've finally been able to be more open, mainly around friends, they'll say something a little too...unsettling or freaky??? to be normal, it's a little weird to get used to oopsies
AND THATS ALL if you read all of this i appreciate you becasue this has been drafted up on my computer screen for multiple days I just did not know what to say siigghhh yeah i love this kid and I hope you guys do too teehee
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I just wanted to say that the way you characterize and talk about Miguel has actually really helped me with thinking about how to write for him 😭 genuinely I love the way you describe him as an actual like person and not just some sex addict or someone who's extremely distant and cold. I hope you continue writing mild Miguel because it's so refreshing compared to all the other shit I see 😭💕
THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS A MIGUEL SAFE SPACE AND LIKE- CAN I BE REAL FOR A SECOND???
MIGUEL ISN'T AN ASSHOLE YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST MEAN - A.K.A -
My Defense & Evidence of a Milder, Non-aggressive Sympathetic Miguel O'hara.
[This is a half-break down half rant about Mild Miguel, when we see Miguel's true nature, and what fandom gets wrong about him. I have my evidence.
this is shorter than my usual posts but I'm going absolute apeshit Miguel Mode by the end so sorry you have to see that.]
I think Miguel and Hobie are the two most complex characters in the film. Like - both of them equally.
It's just really easy to explain one over the other.
I feel this way because every character we see in the entire movie - Miles, Gwen, Peter, Jess, Rio, Jeff, The Spot, everyone - is forthcoming and clear about their intentions and motive throughout the movie.
When we're watching the movie the first time, we understand Miles motive, and Peter's, and Gwen. In real time. It's there and stated. Miles wants to save his dad, Peter wants to be a better mentor, Gwen just wants peace basically.
But when we're watching for the first time - we have no idea what Hobie OR Miguel is capable of until they do it.
They are the two we're surprised by. (And they're also exact opposites who somehow don't seem to be complete adversaries)
They're the only two within the film who we are left to speculate their motive, their drive, and what they'll do next.
They're the only two in the film who are truly meant to catch us off guard with their behavior.
Leading up to Hobie's big twist, there was a LOT of misdirection. I think the same is true for Miguel...but like..the fandom isn't picking up on the misdirection AT ALL.
I have a lot of ideas and thoughts about Miguel and his character and honestly I think it's the exact opposite of what the fandom sees.
But when its's Hobie, it's very easy to understand him, just read the wiki on Punk and you're good.
But I don't think anyone has look closer at Miguel yet.
I genuinely believe that the reason Miles got away was because Miguel went soft.
He was watching the videos of Gaby to remind himself why he was doing this - why he had to stand his ground, but when Miles started panicking, and begging to know how much time he had left - Miguel slipped up. He went soft.
And he told him 'two days'.
You can see it in Miguel's face when Miles is asking.
That's not the face of a man considering assault. That's not anger. He's wavering.
He didn't have to tell Miles how long he had left. But he did - why? Cause he thought 'I'd kill for two days with Gabby. A lot of people get less warning about death - Maybe he can spend those two days with his fath-'
and then Miles is like 'word?? two days to stop you?? iight im out also fuck yall' - which understandable have a nice day
But like......Miguel wouldn't have said it if he knew it would fuck him over. He didn't KNOW Miles was radicalized cause he didn't know Hobie had spoken to him. He thought that telling him might convince him. If he knew Miles was gonna run - there's no need to tell him anything.
He could've lied and said "I DON'T KNOW. But maybe let's talk about this."
But he didn't. He slipped up.
He's SOFT. Everytime he's mean, or angry - He has to think about it. Like when he looked at Hobie - and thought about it. He has to MAKE himself do it. It isn't natural to him.
Nobody else in the room was gonna answer Miles. Miles wouldn't have known. But Miguel told him two days. And because of that, that specific slip-up, Miles is trying to save his dad.
Why? Because he's SOFT. CAPITAL S SOFT.
Miguel is not a raging monster. Or aggressive. Or manipulative.
He's a guy who thinks he's holding the universe together with duct tape and a kid is in front of him begging to know how long they have left with their father and he tells them and because of that they get away and now everything he worked for is gonna emplode in his face because he had a SOFT SPOT FOR A KID AGAIN AND DID SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T AGAIN AND TOLD HIM AND NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE AGAIN BECAUSE HE MESSED WITH THE MULTIVERSE AGAIN FUCK-
Like...yeah- he snapped. A normal person would snap. I've snapped for way less and a lot of other people have.
Granted, we don't go mauling children.
I don't know, I just feel like he's an incredibly layered character.
Because when he's ranting and screaming at Gwen like an irritated school teacher we're already like 'oh fuck you dude but also fuck you ;)'
so when he's right there doing things like this - we don't see it. The same way we don't see Hobie's stealing - because we think we have him figured out.
We don't see Miguel's tenderness.
Because we assume we know who he is - he's cold and aggressive and rude and hates Miles,
but like...is he really?
Miles is getting upset - and the whole conversation leading up to it Miguel has talked to him from a far, hands when Miles can see them. He's not trying to stand over him, or intimidate him. Miguel knows he's scary. He knows how to be scary.
He isn't trying to scare Miles. The exact opposite. He's trying to comfort him.
And when Miles starts lashing out - Miguel is genuinely surprised. That isn't the look of someone who THINKS he's about to hurt this kid.
He's telling Miles, hands up "Hey, sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you." He immediately lets go, backs up.
I just---- FUCK, PEOPLE THE MAN IS STANDING RIGHT THERE THATS MILD MIGUEL LOOK AT HIM
If you really really think Miguel is naturally aggressive, or angry, or cold -
If you write him that way -
I ask that you rewatch the leading up to Miles' escape. Look at his body language. Watch him, and look at his face. That's all I ask.
I just kjsjrghjkSIGHIDDGU I CAN'T STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE AND EMOTIONAL ILLITERACY
HES NOT A GOOD GUY BUT LIKE....HE'S ... THE ONE YALL ARE SERVING...COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN.
He's SOFT. The same way he caved for Gwen after a little pushing. He caved for Miles after a little pushing. That's why he told him two days. SOFT
MILD MIGUEL, SOFT MIGUEL, WANTS TO DO THE HARD THING BUT FUCK HE CAN'T DO IT MIGUEL, HAS TO STAND COMPLETELY STILL AND UNMOVING TO NOT CAVE TO MAYDAY MIGUEL, MIGUEL WHO LOVES PEOPLE BUT KEEPS HIS DISTANCE AND SHUTS HIS MOUTH BECAUSE PEOPLE GET HURT MIGUEL MIGUEL MIGUEL
I'm going to go Miguel Mode.
If understanding Hobie was a house, the fandom is standing out on the road.
If understanding Miguel was a house, the people aren't even in the same neighborhood. We're in the next state over. Other side of the globe. Off base by like 12 zipcodes and 4 times zones
Mild Miguel. Please tell me you're seeing this.
Am I crazy for thinking that the slip up - of telling Miles two days - wasn't out of stupidity but PITY? SYMPATHY?
Because Miguel thinks getting to spend two whole days with some you'll lose is a BLESSING to him - not a curse.
Even though to ANY non-traumatized person - it would be a curse.
...... yo
Miguel stepped into Gabriellas life because he didn't want her to lose a father. He KNOWS losing a father hurts.
So when Miles is there in front of him, talking about not wanting to lose his father - Miguel KNOWS how he feels. Gabby didn't want to lose her dad either.
Miguel UNDERSTANDS. He's a FATHER -
HE KNOWS HE'S BEING THE BAD GUY HE KNOWS ITS WRONG NOT TO STEP IN THATS WHY HE STEPPED IN FOR GABRIELLA IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS ISN'T THE PERSON HE WANTS TO BE OR THOUGHT HE'D BECOME YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN AND HORNY -
I- I can't even i'm sorry I -
I have a longer post about this in the works like breaking down all of his body language from his moments with MJ and Hobie and like teverything
but ITS NOT EVEN LIKE I THINK HE'S RIGHT I JUST CANT STAND PEOPLE BEING THIS WRONG ABOUT IT I CANT
If you see him as aggressive or cold this post isn't meant to be an attack. I am just down bad for Mild Miguel and I'm going delirious with hunger and starvation for him
#Justice4MildMiguel Maybe I'm huffing copium but also i know im fucking not he's RIGHT THERE
[And if you hate Miguel like hate hate him Moche says dishonor on you dishonor on your cow dishonor your family and your land in the name of Aia Paec Almighty]
If you made it this far....Imsorry you had to see me that way I don't know what came over me here's a picture of Hobie to help me calm down.
(aka Hobie judging the fuck outta me in my head)
I need a glass of water. Bye.
#I may...have a problem#THIS IS A RANT#miguel o'hara#spiderman#atsv#spider man#spider man 2099#spiderman 2099#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#miguel ohara#atsv miguel#miguel x reader#miguel x oc#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x oc#miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara x oc#miguel ohara x you#miguel o'hara x you#miguel x y/n#miguel ohara x y/n#atsv analysis#mild miguel#miles morales
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Ah, rats!
Lint and Troy find three rats that were dumped by an old owner. Troy insists that he doesn't want to keep them, but he cannot resist the love of the rats.
fuck it post 670 word lintroller fic at 3am. there is probably grammar/spelling mistakes but im too tired to care right now. will probably post this to ao3 some other time
“Lint, broski, we can’t keep those things. Those are freakin’ rats!”
“But they’ll freeze out there, it’s too cold! We can send ‘em back to a pet store later, man.”
Troy doesn’t have time to protest before Lint is already out the door and rushing to a pet store to get supplies. He takes a seat next to the small cardboard box, because what else is there to do? And suddenly a small gray head pops out of it, making him jump. Black, beady eyes staring back at him. It’s kind of freaking him out.
Lint mentioned there being multiple of them in there, so Troy takes a peek in the box to see what they all look like. And there sit three little rats. A gray one with a white snout, which he’d already seen, an albino one, and a dark brown one with white feet. They’re all huddled together in a corner trying to keep warm, and the white one looks scared.
Troy blinks, and before he can even do anything, he feels the claws of a rat running up his arm and onto his shoulders. And it feels so cold. So cold. He feels bad for these small animals, they’ve been out there for who knows how long, just trying to keep warm. How could someone do this? They seem so sweet, why would someone want to give that up? He feels the rat sniffing his ear. He sees in the corner of his eye that it’s that little brown rat. Troy sees a bit of himself when he looks at that rat, when he felt it running up his arm so quickly, it’s like when he’s steamsledding. And hey, that gray one there sort of reminds him of a steamsled! And that tiny little albino rat, it’s white like a cloud. Like cloudspire. And Troy thinks those are great names. Troy Jr., Steamsled, and Cloudspire. They could just call him Cloud for short. But it’s not like they’re gonna keep these rats, anyway.
Some time later, Lint comes home with a small cage, it’ll be temporary, and some rat food. When they walk through the door, he’s shocked to see that Troy, who said that he couldn’t care less about these rats, was covered in them. The brown rat on his right shoulder, the gray one on his left, and the albino one hesitantly crawling onto his hand.
“I thought you hated rats, man!” Lint called out from the doorway.
“I do, broski, but Troy Jr. here climbed up on my shoulder super quickly and the other two followed him out! And I couldn’t just put ‘em back, man, they’re cold and I’m freaking, like, warmer than them, or something. So they wanted to keep warm!” Troy defended himself, although it’s very clear that at the very least, he doesn’t hate these rats.
Lint stifles a laugh. They don't think they’ll be getting rid of these three any time soon, considering Troy’s already named them.
-----------
And he was right! A few days later they were returning the small cage to the pet store and replacing it with a larger one fit for three wonderful rats. They got more supplies, more toys for the rats, and soon they’d both forgotten about the fact that they were going to give these rats up. Every morning and night, Troy just watches the rats eat their food. He likes the sound they make. He likes to watch the way they act around each other. He likes seeing Troy Jr. lay on top of Steamsled, he likes watching those two fight while Cloud sneaks up and steals whatever they’re fighting over. Even if he hates most rats, these ones surely have a place in his heart.
It’s always just been Troy and Lint, but now it’s not just them. It’s Troy and Lint, and Troy Jr., Steamsled, and Cloud. Neither of them even know if rodents are allowed in the apartment, but neither of them care either. It’s all worth it.
#ratmouse writing#jrwi lintroller#he/they lint jrwi.... btw.........#jrwi fanfiction#troy lougferd#tramilton lougferd#<- LOVE TAGGING THAT SO MUCH BY THE WAY. FUCKING TRAMILTON#troy jrwi#jrwi troy#lint jrwi#jrwi lint#jrwi shipping
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Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader
— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.
The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.
Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.
You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.
This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.
However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.
As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen
You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.
But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.
"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."
Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.
You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.
Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.
I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.
He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.
Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.
Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~
(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)
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WIBTA for snitching on people cheating on a test, if it could affect my grade too?
You may remember me from the "wibta for reminding our professor about sketches she assigned us to do"
TLDR on that: im an art student (F20, all students involved are 20), and this professor assigned us to do a lot of sketches that will be graded. for context, im really passionate about art and i have perfect grades while most others are just here for the diploma and are doing the bare minumum.
i thought they would try to let the professor forget about the assignment, and i'd have the dilemma of if i should remind her or not, even if i know nobody else did it, which is what my last post was about.
however! it's even worse then that. some of em are gonna trace it (from photos, its life drawing). this upsets me because the way these are graded is that theyre compared to each other - their proportions will look perfect, and mine might look bad next to them. this feels really unfair, i really don't want to see my streak of perfect grades ruined because someone is cheating.
wibta if i snitched?
some notes: 1) the professor won't notice on her own (as much as i wish she did), i dont feel like typing out how i know this but just take my word for it. 2) normally id feel confident enough in my skills to draw better then someone tracing, however this professor gives pretty random grades based on if she likes u or not (for example two people turned in the exact same sketches and she not only didnt notice but she gave them different grades). and from previous experience i know she does not like me for some reason lol (she most likes men which is weird af??)
✨ ->to find
What are these acronyms?
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i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!
ask and you shall receive!!!!
ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔
this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭
doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)
i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲
i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺🇸🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.
i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)
i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me
i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀
thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️
#ted ihnmaims#ihnmaims#IHNMAIMS fanart#technically these guys are in here so i’ll tag them too#gorrister ihnmaims#nimdok ihnmaims#benny ihnmaims#ellen ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#digital art
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when they get jealous and needy
how the genshin men show their jealousy over you
character(s): Cyno, Xiao, Kaeya
pairings(s): fem!reader x Cyno, Xiao, Kaeya (separately)
contents: uncertainty of feelings, smut, found family, angst, comfort
not proofread! im swamped with uni work so i might post less till next week, sorry <3
─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────────
Cyno
he's absolutely chill most of the time, but there are some times he just gets jealous and insecure
you bet he's going to mark his territory: whether it is by putting his hand around your waist, pulling you close, whispering something in your ear while looking the other person dead in the eyes, his golden irises sending a silent warning
«And who's this, angel?» he asks, as he gets to your side
you better believe he's gonna get extra needy/rough when you two get in bed later
as he's balls deep in your pussy, he groans «you're mine, aren't you, angel?»
you struggle to answer. not because you don't know what to answer, but because you can't think properly, as he's relentlessly pounding into you, making you lose any semblance of rational thought
he stops, still inside of you.
«answer.» he commands now, making you squirm and whine for more.
«C-cyno..» you plead, incapable of uttering any other word than his name.
«yes?» his pupils dark and wide, much like the ones of a predator
«i am Cyno. that guy was just flirting with me because he can't stand you. he wants to make you angry because the matra once apprehended him due to his illegal schemes, and so he wants to take it out on you..» you utter those words, remembering the case that had shaken your Darshan from the inside out, before Cyno was even the general Mahamatra
as you finish speaking, he starts to pound into you again, making you scream his name, finally getting the release you were aching for
──────────────────────────────
Xiao
poor thing is still new to this having feelings for someone, so when he gets angry when another guy talks with you in a more friendly way, he doesn't know what to do with his feelings
so he goes to Zhongli, asking for advice (a/n yes, i believe in Zhongli as Xiao's found family, idc)
«Rex L-» «Just Zhongli.»
he looks down, biting his lip at the correction. it doesn't feel fair to him to call Rex Lapis as simply Zhongli, but he carries on, explaining his problem
«What you are experiencing is what mortals call "jealousy". While it is normal to have such a feeling when someone you don't like might be talking to her in a little too friendly manner, you must learn not to get overwhelmed by this feeling, as it only brings people apart and destroys relationships.»
he thinks long and hard about what Zhongli told him, and as you return to Wangshu Inn, you find him on the rooftop, deep in thought.
«I'm back, Xiao.» you say, catching his attention.
you are met by a dry reply, that makes you wonder what might be up with him
after a bit, he decides to confess, and you look at him, endearment in your eyes
«aw, love. you have no need to be jealous. i'm sorry you felt this way. whether adeptus or human, jealousy is a terrible feeling that no one wants to experience. but i can assure you that the only one i love is you, and no one else.»
he's got tears in his eyes
«are you sure?» you nod. «but..my karmic debt..» he averts his eyes, turning his back to you
you hug him from behind, resting your head on his shoulder
«my Vision protects me.»
he makes you promise to run away if he ever loses control over himself, and you reluctantly agree, even though you know that if that ever happened, you would fight for him until the bitter end.
──────────────────────────────
Kaeya
oh boi, you're in for a ride
he's literally the smoothest talker ever, he doesn't even need to get jealous
he's more of a showoff really, basically showing off his wonderful girlfriend
so it's more him making other people jealous, whether men or women, because, let's be honest, it's not like women are not jealous of you
«all alone here, kitten?» he comes up at you at Angel's Share, while Diluc rolls his eyes at his cheesiness
you flirt right back, twirling a strand of loose hair in your fingers, catching his attention
your hair and neck are his weak points, so you know exactly what you're doing
his eyes are fixated on you, as you let go of your hair, and go back to your drink, ignoring him
he comes up to you, whispering something in your ear
«let's put on a show» are the words that come to your ears, and you smile wickedly
you turn your head towards him, staring at his lips intensively
he's too close for comfort, and you can feel his cold breath on your skin, shivers appearing in response
as you're about to kiss, your lips inches from each other, a suave melody starts playing
you see one of the most renowned bard of Mondstadt, Venti, playing his lyre for the tavern
you get all excited, and stand up, your dress flitting around your figure
Kaeya gives you a puzzled look, but it soon transforms into an amused smile, as he joins you in dancing
you two dance together, the entire tavern mesmerized at the sight of you two
might also be because Kaeya was using his vision to create small snowflakes around both of you, those same snowflakes catching the light of the tavern, creating a reflective spectacle
you decide to tease him, grabbing him by the ring that holds his collar in place
he smiles smugly, as if to ask "what now?"
your faces get too close for comfort, both of you lost in the each other's eyes
suddenly a whiff of wind swirls around you, diffusing an irresistible aroma around you
who's gonna give in first? it's a battle of wits at this point
Kaeya does.
you don't even have the time to process it, that his lips are on yours, and his hands are on your waist, pulling you closer
that was one memorable night
what you didn't know is that your ex was standing in a corner of the tavern, a bewildered look in his eyes as he witnessed the whole scene
Kaeya is a fucking menace
#genshin fanfic#genshin headcanons#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin impact#genshin kaeya#genshin cyno#genshin xiao#adeptus xiao#zhongli as xiao's found family#found father#found family#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin x y/n#cyno x y/n#cyno x reader#cyno x you#kaeya x reader#kaeya x y/n#kaeya x you#xiao x you#xiao x reader#xiao x y/n
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Poorlittlekoi’s statement
Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi
I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.
I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.
——————————————————-
“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.
all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.
im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.
many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved
am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.
when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.
now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.
so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change
when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.
its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.
people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.
i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like
this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”
#tccblr#tcc tumblr#tcc columbine#tcc fandom#teeceecee#zero day#eric and dylan#true cringe community#calvin gabriel#caldre#andre kriegman#cal gabriel#zero day movie#elephant 2003#alex frost#zero day 2003
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cameron at LEAST had something for charlie imo
this was when charlie was flirting with the other girls I MEAN CMON BROOOOO GHFHFJDJ like ive posted about this before but w less text and stuff and im just gonna give my thoughts in this cause WOWOWOW BOOMSHAKALLALALALA BOOM??
btw im not an expert in body language and this is my interpretation
THAT does not look like jealousy to me. His eyes are softened, his mouth slightly agape, eyebrows a bit raised, before he quickly looks down at the ground. It’s like he’s in slight disbelief, heartbreak, then contemplation in such a short amount of time.
Charlie Dalton, his roomate and the worst pain in his ass—… is currently flirting with two random girls and reciting romantic poetry. I mean cmon, its not exactly out of character for Dalton to do something like that. So why be so upset about it? I mean this could’ve been a golden opportunity for cameron to FINALLY get some peace and quiet if Charlie was too busy dating around to bother him. Unless, by some rare chance— he would miss him?
I feel like this is the point cameron realizes he may not hate his roomate as much he thinks he does, and maybe just a little bit, the tiniest part of him.. actually appreciates Charlie? A little bit more than friends. I mean CMON, I don’t think people react like that if their friend flirts with someone else. Like— that look is reserved after finding out someone you like fancies somebody else.
And it’s heartbreaking. That is a look of heartbreak, folks.
I can’t imagine how Cameron would also deal with this realization. Something he holds dear to is rules and tradition. He won’t dare to challenge the norm without some help. But who could he even talk to this about?? Like?? In my hcs, Cameron definitely struggles with internalize homophobia and has such a hard time accepting it because its not the norm. Especially since its 1950s. He just regresses it so much that he won’t ever come to terms with it. Maybe one day he’ll settle down with a woman, have kids, land a normal job, but the thing is— he wont be content with it. At least, I don’t think he would be until he accepts such a central part of himself. And it wont go away, no matter how much he tries to push it down. It’s there, it’ll always be there, taunting him.
just imagine how much fucking psyche locks he would have holy crap
#dead poets society#deadpoetssociety#dps#charlie dalton#richard cameron#chameron#ace attorney reference#no but imagine#how many psyche locks#also id appreciate comments and ur own#interperatations!!
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High!Ted Thoughts
☆ Ted Nivison X Reader
☆ Fluff / Headcanons
☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)
☆ If it’s not clear,I’m a stoner btw
☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)
Masterlist | Pinned Post
☆ Man is zooted and just wants to be wrapped up in your arms
☆ His head is filled with thoughts of you and only you
☆ Will brag about you to anyone who will listen
☆ HATES. Loud sounds/music etc. He can’t deal with shouting (etc.) while he’s high because he just wants to chill and lie down.
☆ Like everyone,his eyes go red and slightly puffy but whilst he’s high he’ll swear he looks normal to anyone who asks
☆ He will take pics/videos of himself whilst high to look back in whilst he’s sober and laugh at before deleting them
☆ Extroverted Ted dies whilst he’s high,he will be one of the most introverted people known to man whilst high
☆ Adding on to introvert!Ted he’s very quite,only speaking when spoken to and only speaking when he’s talking about how he feels/explaining his high thoughts
☆ Man is paranoid as fuck.
“Did I just hear something??”
“No baby that’s the cat.”
“Oh my god I forgot we have a cat,where is he!”
☆ Will 100% cuddle up to you and the cat (or other animal) because he says you’re all a big family,talking about how one day he wants a bigger family with you
☆ He’s sappy as fuck whilst he’s high,clingy and sappy could describe high!ted accurately
☆ He wants to be with friends/girlfriend whilst high,doesn’t like the thought of not being able to talk to someone/have someone to protect him from his paranoia
☆ Once he starts coming down he just wants to be left alone,in bed by himself but will definitely make an exception for you (as long as you whisper to him)
☆ If you smoke he’ll smoke with you all day everyday if he could
“Hey baby,what you doing?”
“Im gonna make a joint and order some edibles,you want me to roll you one?”
“How can I ever say no to you?”
“What edibles you ordering tho?”
☆ Edibles are the death of Ted,either he won’t realise it’s an edible or he’ll eat too much on accident (400mg incident…)
☆ After the 400mg edible he won’t touch food whilst he’s high unless he has confirmation that it’s not an edible,meaning if no one else is around he’s sticking to vegetables and take out
☆ Ted on edibles (if he takes them responsibly,with supervision) will be almost too calm for his own good.
☆ Will be so slow in his movements/talk so slow as if he’s a zombie
☆ (if you mention he’s acting like a zombie you two will go into an in depth conversation about how to survive a zombie apocalypse)
“You act like a zombie” you laugh
“You know what,in a zombie apocalypse…”
☆ I will die on this hill,Ted is 100% theorising about impossible circumstances like zombie apocalypses,dragons attacking etc.
☆ Ted will sometimes convince himself that these circumstances will happen and begin talking about what weapons he will use and how he’ll keep you safe,locking down the house etc.
☆ Even whilst high you are his first thought and priority (like sober!Ted) and he will die to protect you,the worlds best couple
#spotify#smut#song#romance#cute#fluff#ted nivision smut#ted nivision x reader#ted nivison x reader#ted nivison#high!tednivison#tw drugs
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hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:
ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS
okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)
i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅
sooo without further ado: song number one is....
Habanero by Rosie Tucker
i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.
"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.
"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.
"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.
"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.
"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.
"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.
"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.
well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!
(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )
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#dps#anderperry fanart#todd and neil#the dead poets society#dead poets fandom#neil perry#todd anderson#dps fandom#song lyrics#music analysis#Spotify
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