the-moth-archives

[the-moth-archives]

New Beginnings

Will Graham x Reader

Words: 641

Warnings? Nope, all fluff

Will had a terrible day. Firstly, he woke up outside, a side effect of his recently developed sleepwalking, as well as being drenched in sweat. Then, of course, he had to go to work, which tired his mind out beyond imagination and all he wanted to do was go home to you. You, oh how he loved you. After the fall, after everything he had gone through with Hannibal, after nearly dying multiple times, Will decided he had enough. He left Maryland and moved to Florida, where he met you. He now has a job where he works on boats again, and has a quaint cabin near the beach where he lives with you and your rescue dogs.

Will never thought he would be able to love someone again, not after Alana or Molly, but he did. He does. He loves you. He loves your eyes that light up every time the dogs surround you both or the subtle way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. He walks through the front door, slipping off his shoes and coat where he's greeted by your many dogs.

He calls out your name but when he gets no reply, he's instantly worried. He checks everywhere, the living room, the kitchen, bathroom, the outdoor patio but nothing. Finally, he makes his way to the bedroom where he lets out a deep sigh. He sees you curled up on the bed, your back to the door as you hold Winston, his favourite dog (though he'd never tell the others, he's always had a soft spot for Winston) and his heart feels like it physically melts. He quietly and quickly changes out of his dirty work clothes into a plain grey shirt and his boxers before slipping in the bed behind you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling your back against his chest and presses a soft, barely noticeable kiss to your shoulder.

He feels you stir in his arms and he's quick to soothe you, rubbing your stomach and whispering sweet, reassuring words into your soft curls like ‘It's okay baby, it's only me’ and ‘You're safe, go back to sleep’ . Despite you being more asleep than you are awake, Will starts to recount his day. Just like he always does. No matter how boring his day was he always comes home, cuddles up with you and tells you about every single detail. While he's talking, he feels you rolling over, shifting to face him instead, leaving Winston to snore behind your back. Once he can finally see your face. he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, whispering a sweet ‘I love you’ against your skin, his words having a bigger meaning than you might ever realise.

When he says ‘I love you’ he doesn't mean it in the way that others do today. Not the way teenagers say it to their ‘lovers’ after knowing each other for a week, not the way a boyfriend might say to his girlfriend to get her to forgive him after an argument. No, Will means it like you're his whole world, which you are, he means it like without you, he wouldn't be able to breathe.

It doesn't take him long before he's driving off to sleep too, his mind racing with thoughts. All about you. How did he manage to get someone like you to like him? He was grumpy, a man hardened by the horrors of the world, but yet around you…oh, he was like an innocent puppy, wide eyes and always wanting to be close to you, always wanting to hear your sweet angelic voice. He would never know why you chose him, but he will spend every second that he's breathing, making sure you know just how thankful he is. But for tonight, he'll just settle with cuddling you.

I hope this drabble is okay, I just wanted to write something with soft Will. I know I reference the fall in this, and much to my upset I know it is unlikely that Will survived but I just want to imagine he does. I haven't really proof read this so I hope it makes some sense although I did write it half asleep so. I'm also not sure if this will get as much attention because my other fics have been Hayden focused but we'll see...Anyway, I hope you all enjoy lovelies!

[the-moth-archives]

[the-moth-archives]

🕯𝑻𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚🕯

𝑩𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑾𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝑩𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐧𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐩.

“𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲” 𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

𝐇𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞. 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐫𝐦. 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞? 𝐘𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭? 𝐀𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭’𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥.

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐇𝐞’𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥’𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞’𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

“𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤” 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡. 𝐎𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬,𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐬𝐞𝐞��𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧.

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞.

“𝐀𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮,” 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝, 𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭, 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.

𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐦 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝.

"𝐜'𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐞" 𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦����𝐮𝐭𝐡, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐬𝐧𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. "𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞," 𝐇𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠.

"𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬," 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

𝒊𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆💋

[the-moth-archives]

You know what's better than fluff? Dark fluff.

The kind where devotion borders on obsession, where love isn't just tender—it's consuming.

"I'd do anything for you, love," he murmurs, voice smooth, unwavering. "Anything you desire, and it's yours."

And the other doesn't hesitate, voice laced with something raw, something desperate.

"I want her to split me open—dig her fingers into my ribs and pry them apart. To hold my heart in her hands, feel the pulse of it against her palms, my blood staining her skin. I want her to pick my bones clean, crack them open, suck the marrow dry. I want to be ruined by her, consumed until there's nothing left of me but the taste of her name on what's left of my tongue."

Because love, when it’s deep enough, is a hunger—one that begs to be fed.

[the-moth-archives]

Just hanging out before the next mission rolls in

[the-moth-archives]

Soft spot

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Alpine is determined to gain access to your room while you are resting.

Warnings: Bucky’s conversation with a cat lol; Bucky being jealous of a cat; fluff; feelings; Bucky is a sweetheart

Author’s Note: I just needed to write a little something and this came out. Hope you enjoy! Also, I probably will be posting the next chapter of like a Phoenix tomorrow.

Masterlist

“Nah, Alp, c’mon now.”

Bucky sets his mug of tea down on the kitchen counter with a quiet clink - he never used to drink tea before moving in with you, but living with you changed that.

The little white kitten Bucky and you adopted from the shelter a few months ago paws insistently at your bedroom door, tiny claws scratching against the wood. She lets out a sharp, impatient mewl.

Bucky sighs, before striding over to her hurriedly and scooping the little ball of fluff into his arms before she can make more of a racket.

“Alpine,” he warns, almost too firmly considering he is talking to a cat. “Cut it out, yeah? You’re gonna wake her up.”

The kitten wiggles in his hold, clearly unimpressed. She meows again. Loud. Indignant. Bucky huffs a laugh through his nose, shaking his head and scratching her behind her ear.

“I know, I know,” he murmurs, glancing at the closed door to your room. “Ya miss her. But she’s had a rough couple weeks, alright? Stress n' exams, you know, the whole damn deal. She needs the rest. Can’t have you climbin’ all over her like the little menace you are.”

Alpine stares at him with those big blue eyes, as if she understands every word but refuses to accept the reasoning. Another sharp meow, this time more of a protest.

Bucky sighs dramatically, shifting her into one arm and rubbing her chin. “Yeah, yeah, don’t gimme that look. I ain’t the bad guy here, buddy. Just tryna let her sleep.”

Alpine doesn’t seem to hear a word.

Before Bucky can react, the little furball twists her tiny body and slips right out of his grasp, landing softly on the floor.

In an instant, she is back at your bedroom door, paws crawling, tail flicking, and meowing like she is under torture.

Bucky groans quietly, dragging his hand down his face. “Jesus.” He crouches down, resting his forearms on his knees as he watches her.

He reaches out, rubbing slow and soothing circles on her soft white fur. “You just wanna be near her, huh, girl?” His voice is softer now. He sighs, deep and heavy, shoulders slumping. “Yeah, I get that.”

Because Alpine loves you. She doesn’t hide it - follows you everywhere, curls up in your lap, meows until you give her attention. She’s got no hesitation when it comes to showing how much she adores you.

And that is what Bucky envies.

Because Bucky loves you too. He just can’t show his affection that outright. He’s your best friend. Your roommate. And that’s the part that stings.

He would do anything for being able to show you how much he adores you without crossing the line he is afraid to.

His chest tightens long enough for him to really feel the ache and he stands up, exhaling through his nose with a resigned breath.

“Alright, you little punk,” he mutters, shaking his head as Alpine turns those blue eyes back up to him. Expectant.

Slowly, he reaches for the door handle, giving the kitten another warning glare. “Just for a quick visit, yeah? No bouncin’ on her. No wakin’ her up, got it?”

Alpine meows.

Bucky huffs, pushing the door open carefully.

The small cat whooshes past Bucky the second the door cracks open, a blur of white fur darting straight for your bed. He barely stops himself from calling out, biting back a curse as he runs a frustrated hand down his face.

Damn cat’s got a one-track mind.

But he can’t really blame her. You’re on his mind probably even more often.

He steps inside, deliberately avoiding the creaky floorboards. He’s been in your room often enough to have memorized them by now.

Alpine reaches your face and bumps her small head against yours with a high chirp before rubbing along your cheek.

You don’t stir in your sleep.

Curled up on your side toward the direction of the door, hands tucked near your face, you’re completely dead to the world, your breaths slow and even.

Bucky guesses the stress from the last weeks must have finally caught up to you because you don’t even twitch when Alpine starts licking at your fingers.

“Alpine,” he whisper-yells, stepping closer, ready to scoop the little cat up and drag her outside before she wakes you.

But Alpine starts to circle, once, then again, before settling right against your hip, tucking herself into a comfortable little ball. She lets out a soft, contented sigh.

Bucky stops in his tracks, hands on his hips, shaking his head with an amused smirk on his lips.

“You’ve got no idea how jealous you’re makin’ me right now, Alp.”

Something tugs and turns in his chest, watching the way you sleep so peacefully, completely unaware of anything. Of how easy it is for Alpine to curl up against you and claim you like it’s the most natural thing to do.

He lets out a breath, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “Alright,” he utters in a whisper. “Guess I’ll just stand here like an idiot while you get all the cuddles.”

Alpine flicks her tail.

Bucky stands there for a moment, arms crossed loosely over his chest, just watching you.

The way your brows are at ease, your face soft and relaxed - peaceful and serene in a way he hasn’t seen in too damn long.

And oh how it calms something deep inside him.

The past few weeks had been brutal on you. It was a mess of late nights, long assignments, and that damn stubborn streak of yours keeping you from slowing down, no matter how many times he told you to.

You pushed yourself too hard - always do - and every time it drives him up the wall.

He hates seeing you stressed and he did what he could. Brought you tea, draped blankets over your shoulders when you were too caught up in your work to notice the chill. Left food by your side when he knew you’d forgotten to eat.

And you accepted it all - gave him those sweet little smiles accompanied by a thanks, Buck in that soft voice of yours that always knocks the wind out of him - but you never really listened.

Never listened when he told you that pushing past exhaustion isn’t the solution. That not having a clear head is worse than not being prepared at all.

But now you are finally resting.

For the first time in what feels like months, you are letting yourself breathe.

And Bucky feels like a weight is falling off his shoulders, a tension he was gripping finally loosening.

He exhales a deep, relieved sigh, raking a hand through his hair.

Alpine stirs slightly at your hip but stays balled up, her soft purring filling the room beside your deep breaths.

It’s then that Bucky notices the book half-tucked against your arm. You must have been reading before finally crashing, trying to quiet your mind enough to let yourself sleep.

He steps closer, cautiously, eyes flickering to your face to make sure you don’t wake up.

For a second, he worries it’s one of your damn textbooks - because if you fell asleep studying for god knows what now, he is going to have to give you some words.

But as he leans over you slightly, fingers brushing the covers and gently pulling it away from your arm, he lets out a pleased breath. Just a novel. Good.

He carefully marks the page, folds the book shut, and sets it on your nightstand.

Bucky straightens, and he knows he should walk back out - really, he should - but his eyes stay on you a little longer. He almost feels like some kinda creep just standing here, watching. But hell, he can’t help it.

You look so damn adorable with your little pout. So damn beautiful with your hair falling just so, features so soft, color in your cheeks.

His breath hitches unintentionally and his pulse skips, his heart only a trembling thing in his chest.

Taking in a deep breath, he takes a hold of your blanket and gradually tugs it up over your shoulders, up to your chin.

The fact that Alpine gets dragged along with it and the grumpy chirp she lets out gets ignored by him. She glares at him in annoyance but does not move from her spot.

“Mhm… Buck…?”

Your voice is thick with sleep, soft and drowsy, and it nearly knocks Bucky off balance. Literally. His foot catches on the floor and he stumbles slightly, heart lurching in his chest like the idiot he is.

His gaze snaps to your face. You blink up at him, slow and unfocused, brows scrunching in confusion. Eyes half-lidded, heavy with exhaustion, your voice slurring slightly.

Jesus. You’re so damn cute like this.

Bucky clears his throat, forcing himself to school his expression. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he coos in a whisper, gentle and soothing. “Didn’t mean to wake you.” He shoots Alpine a pointed look, but the cat, as usual, doesn’t seem to give a damn.

You shift slightly, nestling deeper into the sheets, eyes fluttering shut again. Without thinking, Bucky brushes his hand through your hair, over your cheek in slow and soothing motions to coax you back into sleep.

You hum in contentment. That little sound does something to him, settling deep within him.

And hell - if his heart doesn’t clench at the sight of you like this. So soft, so sweet, so damn beautiful it hurts.

A lightness swells beneath his ribs. An airy flutter dances.

He focuses on the way your breathing evens out, the way your body melts back into the bed.

And when he’s sure you’ve slipped under again, Bucky lets himself lean down, lips ghosting over your temple in the lightest of touches, giving you a soft kiss. He lingers just a second, long enough to whisper against your skin, voice barely more than a breath.

“Sleep tight, doll. You better dream of me.”

And with one last glance, so full of longing, he forces himself to pull away. He lets Alpine stay with you, despite the fact that he wants to be the one who gets to do that.

But he slips out of the room as quietly as he can, shutting the door behind him with a faint click. Leaving with you the racing of his heart you caused and the ache of something he isn’t sure he’ll ever have the guts to say out loud.

“Her, because she makes life poetry, she turns every bit of it into art.”

- butterflies rising

[the-moth-archives]

More Than Worthy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to make you his wife.

Word Count: Over 1k

Warnings: Implied smut, fluff, happy tears, established relationship, feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: Inspired by this ask here, more of our beautiful Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

It was an ordinary day when Bucky decided to propose to you.

He returned from a mission the day before and you welcomed him home with a smile on your face and open arms. It felt like he had been away for ages when in reality it was only a few days. It didn’t take long for him to drag you to bed so he could properly celebrate making it home to you, a mixture of pent-up energy and the need to feel you around him. Your moans of pleasure were a sound he missed while he was away, and you cried out his name so beautifully when you came. It didn’t take him long to fall over the edge with you, forever going wherever you were.

Bucky paid no attention to the time when he woke up, the sun shining through the curtains and casting a beautiful glow over your sleeping form. He took a moment to study you, the curves of your body as you faced him, the way your mouth parted slightly as you breathed. Brushing a finger along your cheek, he smiled when you scooted closer to him. He also felt a sense of pride from wearing you out the night before.

And outside forces be damned, nothing was getting him out of bed today.

You stirred once he kissed your forehead and wrapped his arm tighter around you. It took a moment for your eyes to focus before you whispered, “Morning.”

He exhaled, his heart beating faster when you smiled a sleepy tender smile. It amazed him how he fell more in love with you every day, but you made it so easy. The love you had was raw, pure, and real, a deep and lasting connection built from trust and respect, understanding and compassion. It endured and grew, going beyond the physical attraction he’d always have for you. You saw each other for who you were and valued each other fully. No matter the trials and tribulations you’d face, you’d do it together while your love endured and grew.

It was your love he thought of when he took your hand in his and gently whispered back, “Marry me.”

He heard your heart accelerate when you lifted your head. “What?” you asked, your voice still laced with sleep. Your eyes were wide open though and you wanted to be sure you heard him correctly.

He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. Not releasing your hand, he leaned over to open the nightstand drawer and took out a box. “You told me to ask you when you weren’t expecting it and when the time was right,” he explained, facing you again. “It’s time.”

Because he didn’t want to go another day without you being his wife.

You gasped and covered your mouth when he opened the box, tears springing to your eyes that sparkled almost as bright as the diamond in the ring. “Oh, my god…”

He helped you sit up, both of you on your knees on the bed. For a split second he thought his eyes would mist over, but he kept it together. “After everything I went through, I wasn't sure if I was capable of allowing myself to be loved. I just… Part of me felt so broken and unworthy.” He took a breath, not wanting to fuck this up. It already wasn’t perfect since there weren’t flowers or a romantic dinner, but this came straight from his heart and that was enough. “But then you came along and changed my life.”

You let out a happy laugh as a tear fell, which he quickly wiped away. “I did?”

“You did, and you know it,” he smiled back. Meeting you gave him a second chance and you changed everything for the better. “You showed me that not only was I not broken but I was more than worthy of being loved.”

“You are worthy of so much love, Bucky Barnes,” you smiled.

“So are you, baby. I love you so much, and I’m a better man because of you,” he swore, taking the ring out of the box as his heart continued to pound. Simple, beautiful, eternal. “So, will you marry me? Be my wife and my partner and continue to fight by my side in life and love?”

Bucky held his breath as he waited for your answer. He wanted to give you the kind of life and love you were worthy of. He wanted to protect and stand by you, and he didn’t want to imagine life without you.

Pressing your forehead to his, you breathed the simple most beautiful word against his lips. “Yes.”

“Yes?” he asked, his next breath shaky. Was the universe messing with him again? Was something going to drag him back to hell when he had heaven right in front of him?

“Yes!” you smiled. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He pulled back to look at you closely, seeing nothing but love in your pretty eyes. “Are you sure? Because-”

“Mr. Barnes, put that ring on my finger so I can really call myself the future Mrs. Barnes,” you demanded, putting your hand in his face. “Please,” you added hastily.

His nose scrunched as his laughter filled the room. “Yes, future Mrs. Barnes,” he repeated. Slipping the ring on your finger, he placed a tender kiss over it. The perfect fit. “Thank you, baby,” he exhaled.

It was the only warning you got before he put you on your back and covered his lips with yours. He wanted to shout to everyone that you were going to be his wife, but he happily settled for saying “I love you” into your mouth. You breathed the words right back to him. And since he hadn’t planned to leave the bed anyway, he made love to you, your fingers laced together, the engagement ring pressing into his skin and reminding him that he wasn’t alone. That he had a future to look forward to.

He was home, holding you close, deep inside you, right where he belonged.

And he was more than worthy of love.

I love them, what can I say? ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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Aquarium Date With Bucky Barnes

Bucky doesn't outwardly show his excitement for most things most of the time, but when you mention going to the aquarium for your next date, there's this twinkle in his eyes that you can't miss. It's a twinkle that stays in his ocean blues as you walk along the pathways of the aquarium. The twinkle only brightens when you both realize there's a section inside where you can interact with some of the sea creatures. While you were enjoying walking hand in hand through tunnels and alongside some of the largest fish tanks you had ever seen—you could tell Bucky was eager to get to the interactive section. When you finally made your way to it, Bucky couldn't hold back the boyish grin that adorned his face when he saw all the little pools of water housing tiny fishes and baby manta rays. You were a little intimidated at the idea of touching a manta ray, so Bucky kept your hand close, dipping his hand in the water at the same time you did. The top of the manta ray was a bit slimy and rough to the touch, but otherwise it wasn't so bad. While the small fishes in the other pool tickled as they kissed along your hands when they entered the water. You couldn't stop giggling at the sensation and Bucky was there laughing along with you. Seeing Bucky so joyful and carefree had your heart fluttering in a way that made you want to do whatever it took to keep him that happy.

It seems fate has destined both my lovelies Sydney and Skittle to go on an aquarium date with Bucky 🐠🩵 Thank you for sending this in for my sleepover @buck-star & @mrsbuckybarnes1917 !! 💕

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i want two boyfriends and i want those boyfriends to be boyfriends.

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Deserve you | Drabble

Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: fluffffff

A/N: Heres the sweet one. 🫶🏻 debating on doing an angsty one lol Happy valentines day 💞

---

The first thing you notice when you wake up is warmth.

Not just the cozy kind from the blankets wrapped around you, but a warmth that settles deep in your chest, the kind that only comes from Bucky pressed up against your back, his arm draped lazily over your waist. The slow, steady rise and fall of his breath against your skin is hypnotic, anchoring you in the quiet, golden glow of early evening..

You both got back late or was it considered early from a stake out, not that it mattered.

Outside, the world is still and heavy with fresh snow, the soft hush of it settling against the windowsill. The setting sun filtering through the curtains casts everything in a muted glow, turning your shared space into something dreamlike, something sacred.

You shift slightly, and before you can get too far, a strong arm tightens around you, pulling you flush against his chest.

“Mmm, don’t move,” Bucky mumbles into your shoulder, his voice thick with sleep, gravelly in a way that makes something in your stomach flip.

A soft laugh escapes your lips as you lace your fingers through his, feeling the contrast of warmth and cool metal against your skin. “You say that every time.”

“‘Cause it’s true,” he grumbles. His lips brush against the nape of your neck, a lazy, featherlight kiss that lingers longer than necessary. His smile is slow and content against your skin.

It’s these moments that make your heart ache in the best way, the way he clings to you in the early hours, the sleepy, half-mumbled words that slip past his lips, the way he holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

“You’re warm,” he murmurs, lips grazing the shell of your ear.

“You’re clingy,” you tease, though you don’t move away. You never do.

His grip tightens just slightly, as if in silent agreement. “’S’only ‘cause I love you.”

You feel those words settle inside you, low and deep, like they belong there. Like they were always meant to. No matter how many times he says it, it still sends a rush of warmth through your chest, still feels like something you’ll never get tired of hearing.

You roll over, finally facing him, and your fingers reach up to smooth the dark strands of hair away from his forehead. He looks utterly at peace like this, eyes still heavy-lidded with sleep, but there’s something else there too. Something softer. Something real.

“And I love you Bucky Barnes.”

“Can't believe that, never can.” His lips twitch into the laziest smile, the kind that makes your stomach flip, the kind he only ever gives you. His fingers trace slow, absentminded patterns along your spine, grounding himself in you, in this.

“Stay in bed with me,” he whispers, barely brushing his lips against yours, stealing the words from your mouth before you can say them first.

You pretend to hesitate, to consider it but you both know the answer is already yes.

Because there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than here, wrapped up in him.

And so, you stay.

His fingers trace gentle, meandering lines across your bare shoulder, his touch so impossibly light that it makes your skin hum. He’s watching you again, really watching you. Like he’s memorizing every detail, like he’s trying to commit you to memory just in case this moment vanishes.

There’s something unspoken in his gaze, something heavy beneath the softness.

Then, barely above a whisper “I never thought I could have this.”

Your breath catches.

The words slip out like a confession, like they’ve been sitting on his tongue for a long time, waiting for the right moment to break free. His fingers still against your skin, as if speaking them aloud makes them real.

“Bucky…”

His hand finds yours beneath the covers, his fingers lacing with yours like he’s afraid to let go. A sharp inhale, the kind that makes his chest rise and fall just a little too quickly.

“I spent so long thinking…” He swallows, eyes flickering downward, like he can’t quite bring himself to look at you when he says it. “Thinking I wasn’t meant for this.”

The words are careful, like they’re fragile, like he’s still afraid they might shatter in his hands.

“I always wanted this but after everything I knew, I felt like I wasn’t supposed to have this.” His voice is quiet but firm, raw in a way that makes your heart twist. “The lifetime with Hydra, the things I did… even after Steve got me out, I still felt like—” He exhales sharply through his nose, jaw tightening. “Like I didn’t deserve anything other than what I’d already been given.”

You shake your head instinctively, already about to argue, but before you can, he squeezes your hand.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice rough around the edges. “Let me finish.”

There’s no frustration, no sharpness, just quiet determination. He needs to get this out.

“You changed that for me.” His voice wavers just slightly, his fingers coming up to cradle your face, thumb sweeping along your cheekbone with a tenderness that nearly undoes you. “You make me feel like I deserve to be here. That I deserve more than just surviving. That I actually deserve you. That I deserve something even after everything that I—he did.”

His voice cracks, just a little.

And then, softer

“But I would endure all of that again in any lifetime if it meant I got to have this with you.”

The air in your lungs disappears.

A single tear slips down his cheek before he can stop it, and for a moment, he looks almost embarrassed like he’s not used to being this vulnerable, this open. But you reach up before he can turn away, brushing the tear away with your thumb, letting your fingers linger on the rough stubble of his jaw.

“Because you do deserve it, Bucky,” you whisper.

Your voice is steady, but the emotion behind it is anything but.

“You deserve all of this. To be happy. To be loved. To wake up in the morning and not feel like you have to fight to exist.” Your fingers tighten in his hair as you hold him closer. “You deserve to be here. With me.”

His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his blue eyes impossibly bright. But he doesn’t look away.

He won’t look away.

“I love you so much,” he breathes, voice barely above a whisper.

A tear slips free, rolling slowly down the bridge of his nose, and you don’t stop yourself from catching it with your lips as you press the softest, most reverent kiss to his cheek.

“I love you too.”

And then you kiss him.

Slow. Deep.

Like you’re trying to kiss away every dark thought, every lingering doubt, every cruel whisper that ever told him he was unworthy of love.

Bucky sighs into it, pulling you impossibly closer, like he wants to breathe you in, like he wants to carve this moment into eternity.

When you finally break apart, his nose nudges against yours, his lips brushing over your cheek, down to your jaw. His breath is warm against your skin as he murmurs, “I know we have that double date with Sam, but… just stay a little longer.”

You smile, pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

A small pause. A soft, content sigh.

Then, in that same sleepy, gravelly voice…

“Oh, by the way….Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

You laugh softly, shaking your head, pressing another kiss to his lips, just because you can.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Bucky.”

[the-moth-archives]

Bucky catches you snuggling with Alpine.

a/n: Just a short, fluffy drabble. I am finishing up a Valentine's day fic with Bucky but wanted something posted while I work on it. Not very long because it's just a small, short thing. Tried to keep reader gender neutral for this but nickname 'doll' is used. Not proof read.

Bucky trudged through the door, his heavy footsteps echoing in the quiet space. His shoes felt like they were made of lead, each step requiring more effort than usual after the long and demanding day he'd had.

All he wanted was to come home and see you. You were the one bright spot that made everything worthwhile. The mid-afternoon sun cast long shadows through the windows, and with the distinct late-winter chill in the air, he reasoned you would be somewhere inside, wrapped up warm and cozy. "Doll?" His voice carried through the apartment as he called out, "I'm home." The silence that greeted him was unusual, and he waited a moment longer, straining to hear any response. He sniffled, his rosy nose slightly runny from the temperature change.

His brow furrowed with mild concern as he made his way deeper into the apartment. The living room stood empty and still, showing no signs of your presence. He made his way to the bedroom, where his eyes fell upon the familiar sight of a mountain of blankets piled on the bed, creating soft peaks and valleys in the dim light trying to peek through the curtains.

There you were, peacefully lost in slumber, your features relaxed and serene. But what caught his attention and made him pause in the doorway was the unexpected sight beside you, tucked away as if it was the most natural thing in the world...Alpine.

His mischievous, very picky feline had always been something of a challenge when it came to you. She had maintained a careful distance, showing what could generously be called tolerance of your presence in her domain. Unlike her usual affectionate behavior with him - the classic cat moves of weaving between legs or offering loving headbutts - she had kept her interactions with you to a minimum, typically just offering distant meows of acknowledgment or the occasional allowance to pet her after you fed her.

But now, she had broken all her usual patterns. There she was, curled up against your body, her small form nestled perfectly into the curve of your chest, both of you peacefully lost in shared dreams.

He smiled to himself, feeling a warmth blossom and spread through his chest, effectively combating the lingering winter chill that clung to him from being outside. Bucky carefully approached the bed where you both laid, making sure to keep his footfalls as silent as possible on the wooden floor.

Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his phone, a device he had despised but grown to tolerate through your patience and help to learn how it worked, and positioned it to capture this precious moment. To his delight, he managed to take several perfect shots of you and Alpine peacefully curled up together, both lost in contented slumber.

Despite his best efforts at stealth, Alpine's keen senses detected his presence. Her long, elegantly pointed ear twitched ever so slightly before her blue eyes slowly fluttered open. She fixed her gaze directly on Bucky, lifting her head from its cozy resting spot with graceful deliberation. "Mrrow..." she vocalized softly, the sound barely more than a whisper.

"Shh, don't wanna wake my pretty doll, do you?" He whispered with tender affection, extending his hand to gently scratch under Alpine's chin. His fingers found that perfect spot she loved so much.

The white ragdoll purred contentedly in response, her small body gracefully rolling from her side onto her back in a fluid motion, exposing her plush, cloud-like belly to the air. Her silky tail twitched rhythmically at her side as she stretched her limbs languorously, her delicate pink paw pads becoming visible as she playfully extended her paws toward him. Bucky couldn't resist as she gently pulled his hand down, and he obliged by scratching her chest and belly with gentle, circular motions, thoroughly spoiling his precious cat.

"My sweet girl... looks like you're finally getting more comfortable with daddy's partner, huh? That makes me so happy to see," he whispered affectionately. Alpine responded with a soft meow, rolling back onto her belly before curling her body snugly against yours, instinctively seeking out your natural warmth.

Not wanting to miss a moment of this perfect opportunity to cuddle with both you and his beloved cat, he quickly changed into some loungewear and carefully slipped into the bed beside you, maneuvering the blankets over himself until he could feel the cozy warmth you had been contentedly hoarding to yourself. "Now, we have to keep quiet, okay?"

"Mrrow," came her soft, response as her pretty sapphire eyes closed once more.

"Good girl, don’t be a hog now…” Bucky smiled as he positioned as close to you as possible without waking you, Alpine continued to lay snugly and contently between you both.

Ty for reading <3 | Image taken from Pinterest | Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

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i need them all..

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me fr

hehe Guilty 😏😏

[the-moth-archives]

I'd run away and hide with you

Summary - Ellie joins you and Joel on your trek to Jackson. Along the way, your mind gets the better of you, and when you reach Jackson it all comes crashing down.

A/N: i don't have any excuses for why this took so long and im so so sorry guys 😭 2024 was hectic and ive only recently been able to catch up on stuff pls forgive mee

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (could probably be read as GN tho?)

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, violence, guns, language, PTSD, abuse mentions, panic attack/mental breakdown

Previous Chapter || Series Masterlist

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

You’re getting bad again; that much is visible to him now. But he doesn’t even know what’s wrong this time.

You never open up to him anymore. At the start, you’d tell him everything that was going on in that little head of yours. You’d let him hold you while you cried. You’d always talk to him.

Now you don’t talk and you practically smack yourself in the face whenever you cry, willing the tears away as you bite down on your lip.

It’s been a few months since you left Boston to visit the guys at Lincoln. It was a good trip. After that hiccup at the start, you had pretty much forgotten about your dad; he couldn’t even get to you in your sleep. You spent a lot of time hanging out with Frank whilst Bill and Joel ‘talked business’, and it was pretty fun seeing the little home they had built for themselves in the town - Frank even let you pocket some strawberries, and it was your first time trying them. Safe to say they were fucking amazing, and you told Joel all about it that night. He'd pretend to be annoyed at your incessant rambling but he liked to see you happy, distracted, somewhat.

When you came back, Marlene was bugging Joel about some new smuggling job in exchange for the car battery he’d been searching for and before you knew it, you were back on the road again to bring this kid - Ellie - to the fireflies.

She was a bright, bubbly kid. Constantly talking and telling you and Joel jokes from that damn pun book of hers.

Joel didn’t warm up to her nearly as quickly as you did, and you obviously knew why. You’d been staying with him for almost half a year now, and had gone through a lot of shit with him, so he’d told you about his past. About Sarah.

So you had a hunch that that was why he didn’t open up to Ellie easily. That was why he’d always just grunt at her whenever she asked a question, why he’d practically toss her food at her when she had to eat, why he would barely even acknowledge her.

You could always tell he never meant it though. He didn’t really hate her. He cared about her - that’s just how he was - and it scared him. He was a protector, a fighter, and, most importantly, a father. He basically took you under his wing and gave you all the paternal love you ached for before, and now he had Ellie to look out for too.

But as time went on, you started noticing things. He started laughing at her jokes, or engaging in conversations with her, even telling her about before. You then realised how much it actually pissed you off.

Seeing them getting along made you incredibly jealous. Joel was your protector, your carer, your da..

You shake your head. It still felt weird when you accidentally found yourself thinking of him like that, giving him that name in your head.

It had been a few months since you all left Boston, for good you hoped, you hated that place and all the unfortunate memories you left there, but now you were in the cold and unforgiving state of Wyoming.

Right now you were all huddled around a fire in a little alcove. Joel had some whiskey which he sipped on.. As he talked to Ellie. Fucking Ellie, who was joking around with him, asking him stupid questions about some sheep farm on the moon.

You weren’t paying attention, you didn’t care. You instead chose to stew in your own thoughts which were drifting back to before any of this. You stared into the fire as you remembered the times you were the one making Joel smile, the one he’d hold and comfort, the one he’d talk with at the end of a long day.

He didn’t do all of that with Ellie, but he didn’t do any of it with you anymore, either.

Suddenly, your thoughts go even further back, remembering your father. Remembering the constant screaming which definitely damaged your eardrums by the time you’d left, the incessant beatings you received - at least that taught you first-aid, right? - and the many, many nights spent crying yourself to sleep. You didn’t get to cry in front of your father, knowing he’d only hit you harder for being weak and useless, so you just waited until you were curled up on the little mattress on the floor, your dad already asleep from the alcohol.

You only come back to the present moment when you taste the metal of blood in your mouth. You didn’t remember biting down on your lip but apparently you had been so hard that it made you wince slightly when you pressed your fingers to it.

Joel didn’t notice. He was still talking with Ellie, his eyes soft as he looked at her over the flames.

Jealousy makes tears sting at your eyes. You’d thought finally, finally, you found someone who would actually care about you.

Now you watch bitterly as Ellie makes him laugh more than you’d done in a while, wondering what you did wrong.

-

You were clutching your handgun tight, not feeling safe out in the open like this despite not having encountered any dangers for a good week now. It felt like things were too safe, and you didn’t like it.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Ellie blowing air through her lips, and it actually kind of annoyed you, because what was she even doing?

Joel asked that question for you.

“What are you doing..?” He sighs heavily, glancing at her, to which she just smirks.

“I’m learning to whistle.” She replies simply.

“You don’t know how to whistle?”

“Does it look like I know how to whistle?” She huffs.

They go back and forth for a little longer, with Joel ending up defeated as Ellie continues her air-blowing, and you find your heart splintering at the sight of them bickering only like father and daughter would. It might not seem like much, but you’ve definitely noticed how Joel’s gotten closer with Ellie over the past few months. It’s upsetting, seeing his natural paternal instincts coming out with her too now.

The three of you make your way past a big dam and arrive at a river, at which point Ellie unhelpfully chirps up.

“Hey, guys, what if this is the river of death?” She jokes, not realising how poor her timing was, for you hear the heavy thuds of horse hooves almost as soon as she finishes her sentence.

“Hands up. Don’t make any sudden movements, or we shoot.” A gruff voice barks out. You know better than to go against what they’ve said, so you turn slowly with your arms raised, and wait for Joel to do any negotiating.

“We ain't lookin’ for any trouble, we’re just passin’ through.” Joel says, keeping his voice strong and unwavering.

“Drop the gun.” The man spits, and Joel slowly does as he says, his eyes wide with panic and betraying the collected and brave persona he attempts to put on when he realises that this might be it.

Ellie looks equally terrified, and you can’t blame her, especially when the man addresses her directly, telling her to step back and away from you.

“How ‘bout we just talk this through-” Joel starts.

“How about you shut the fuck up?” The man’s gun is now raised, and Joel knows better than to argue now, nodding.

The man asks about if any of you are infected, and you feel the dread setting into your bones. Joel tries to diffuse the situation and ease the man’s (unfortunately correct) suspicions, but it’s no use, as he whistles for the sniffer dog.

He offers you a bullet instead, the easy way out, and you all remain silent, panicking further as the dog sniffs you, then Joel, then makes its way to Ellie.

You don’t know where to look, you can see Joel starting to hyperventilate, you can see Ellie’s eyes shining with a terror you’ve never seen her showing before, and you just decide to not look anywhere. You squeeze your eyes shut before-

She’s giggling. Your brows furrow, eyes opening to see Ellie playing with the dog, her face getting licked, and she looks over at the two of you, giving you a sort of ‘how the fuck am I alive’ look, before petting the dog and smiling.

“You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What’s your business here?” The man shouts, and Joel tells him that he’s looking for his brother, trying to keep things brief.

A lady rides forward, asking Joel for his name. He gives it, and she’s silent, looking around at the three of you and trying to piece things together, before telling you to come with her.

-

Maybe something’s wrong with me, you think, picking at your nails absentmindedly as you trail behind the group - Maria, Joel, Ellie, and Tommy on their little tour of Jackson.

No, something’s definitely wrong with me. Because why else would you be so jealous of them? Of Joel finally finding his brother - another person to drive him away from you - and finally growing closer to Ellie.

Not to mention the way you just fucking clam up any time he asks about it.

Not to mention the way you just let it all build up, suffering in silence, waiting and waiting for the inevitable moment where you break.

You all end up in the dining hall afterwards and, while you’re pissed about everything else, you can’t deny some good food. You almost moan at the taste of proper, seasoned meat after all these months, wolfing it down in similar speed to Ellie and Joel.

“There’s more if you need it.” Maria adds after a few moments of watching you all, no judgement in her tone despite your rough actions.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Joel says, looking up briefly before continuing to eat. “Been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

“Actually I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie chimes in, making you clench your jaw. God, even her voice pisses you off. Nobody asked her to talk. “This is amazing.” She mumbles, food in her mouth.

Joel glances at her for a second.

“Sorry.” He tells Tommy and Maria. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

She doesn’t reply, looking up instead to see a girl watching her behind a pillar.

“What!” She barks, making the girl run away and making you scoff. She glances at you, frowning, before continuing to eat.

You knew she didn’t hate you - you were a good pretender most of the time. Laughing at her jokes, smiling tightly during conversations.. But lately you’d slipped a bit, and she was starting to notice.

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel mutters.

“What about her manners?” Ellie spits, always so defensive.

“She was just curious.” Maria soothes, “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right,” she says, nodding her head slowly, “well maybe I’ll teach them.”

It takes everything in you to not scream. She was annoying you so much. And she was getting all the attention because of her boisterous behaviour. You were sitting there, quietly, calmly, and no one batted an eye at you.

“And I want my gun back.” Ellie argues.

“They also aren’t armed.”

Tommy jumps in, sensing the tension growing even more.

“You know what, uh, I think y’all got off on the wrong foot.” He starts, but the two keep bickering.

Eventually, Tommy reveals that Maria is his wife, and after an eager congrats! from Ellie, and the most forced one possible from Joel, the meal ends.

-

Tommy quickly shows the three of you around the rest of Jackson - Maria chose to stay behind - before leaving you and Ellie in your temporary house, going to have a chat with Joel.

“Soooo.. That was awkward, huh?” She chuckles, trying to joke with you like you used to at the start of all this.

You nod, anger still bubbling up inside of you. You didn’t want to be angry at her, or Joel, even, and you knew if you talked with her for too long you’d just end up yelling at her, so you tried your hardest to keep calm.

She chews on her lip, nodding slowly before starting to ramble about how crazy this town is and how Joel is totally pissed at Tommy.

You keep nodding along, wondering how on Earth she manages to keep going on and on for way too long.

Eventually, she bids you goodbye, going to explore the town.

You wouldn’t want to hang out with yourself either, you think as she closes the door.

-

Joel came back home in the evening, pissed off. You tried saying hi to him, having decided you were done being annoyed at him, but he completely brushed you off before storming upstairs.

Maybe you weren’t making it up. Maybe he did just.. Start hating you.

Ellie’s been in her claimed room for an hour, and the house is quiet until about 10pm. You’re still on the couch, curled up, lost in your thoughts. About Joel, about Ellie, wondering about yourself, too. You were thinking about how nice this town is, how you didn’t want to leave tomorrow at all, but figured you’d definitely have to. You’d have to return to the wasteland outside these walls, and you’d probably never make it back to Jackson.

You’d had too many close calls already. God, or whatever was out there, had probably spared you enough.

Your thoughts spiralled and spiralled until it happened.

Everything came out.

It started with tears, silent as they streamed down your face, before the anger released itself, making you dig your nails into your skin in some final attempt at self-control, before you were storming upstairs.

You throw the door open to Joel’s room, and he blinks at you, having been in bed, probably trying to sleep while you soaked in your misery downstairs.

He’s such a fucking asshole, is all you can think.

“I’m not coming with you tomorrow.” You mutter, surprised you aren’t yelling already.

His brows furrow and he stands up, trying to approach you.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” He says, voice stern and rough.

“You clearly don’t want me around anyway! I’d just be making your life even harder if I came with you. I’ll.. I’ll just go my own way.” You huff, voice quivering towards the end when you realised you’d have to trek this world alone now.

He repeats his previous question and you bury your face in your hands, nails tightening against your fists as you try not to start screaming at him.

“When was the last time we had a proper conversation? Or you asked me how I was doing? Or you hugged me, or anything?! You couldn’t even be bothered to say hi to me earlier, and last night you and Ellie were being buddy-buddy by the fire while I was literally on the verge of tears. You clearly don’t care about me anymore. It’s just her.” You’re shouting now, rage consuming you as you get closer to him, shoving him backwards.

He grabs your arms roughly and you visibly flinch, eyes widening under your furrowed brows as you peer up at him. His face is blurry underneath your tears, and your mind short-circuits.

Your dad is back? Your mind tells you yes. Yes, and you’ve pissed him off now, he’s grabbing you because he’s about to throw you on the floor. You’re always doing something wrong - you should’ve known better than to argue. Only insolent, disgraceful children open their mouths in retaliation. You should respect your father. Now you have to apologise and pray he accepts it.

Immediately you’re cowering. He can’t even get a word out before you start apologising, body trembling as he loosens his grip on you.

“Please, sir, I- I’m so sorry- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to- to yell. I’m sorry, I’ll leave, just please d-don’t- please don’t h-urt me-” you choke out, voice raw.

His expression softens, brows knitted in concern now rather than frustration.

“Baby, come here-” he tries to say, but you’re shaking your head, inching further backward until you press against the wall, whimpering when you realise you’re trapped.

Now he’s going to hurt you. Your apologies mean nothing when he gets this mad.

Joel had only grabbed you. It was nothing like the abuse you used to face and yet it was still enough to make you completely crumble.

You sink to the floor, sobbing, still apologising. Ellie’s awake by now, her eyes wide as she listens to what she can make out. What the fuck did he do to you? She’s about to get up, to go and protect you. She doesn’t care if you’d been giving her the cold shoulder for the past few weeks, she doesn’t care if Joel seemed to be giving her the opposite at last. If you’re in trouble and it’s because of him she didn’t fucking care about anything else.

But then she pauses, just outside the door, hearing him cooing at you.

“Calm down honey. It’s okay, it’s me, Joel. Look at me, please.” He murmurs, crouched down in front of you but still giving you some space.

You had your arms raised in front of your face, legs tucked inward, trying to protect yourself from any potential blows, mind still loud and thoughts jumbled, but his voice suddenly helped to clear some of the fog.

You peered at him through the space between your arms and blinked the tears away as best you could.

“..Joel?” You croak after a moment, and he nods, a small smile blossoming on his lips.

“‘S me, sweet girl. Come here.” He opens his arms for you, and you shift closer, still timid and not making that final step.

He sighs softly, not disappointed or annoyed, just sad that your trauma managed to put you in this state.

“It’s just me, okay? It’s Joel, not.. not him. Look at my face, baby.” He whispers, and you do. Your dad wouldn’t call you baby or speak softly with you. Surely this man in front of you wasn’t him.

When you finally recognise him, you feel the tears blooming again, a small whimper escaping your throat before you’re crawling into his lap, clutching him tight. Still apologising, as always.

“Shh, it’s okay. What’s goin’ on, hm?” He says, voice gentle as ever as he holds you. He doesn’t squeeze you tight, or move in any way, he just lets you cling to him. He doesn’t want to suffocate you, knowing you probably already feel like you're drowning, barely tethered to him for support.

“Y-you don’t like me anymore.” You hiccup, and he shakes his head.

“No, sweetheart. Of course I like you. You’re my.. You’re my girl, yeah? Could never hate you.” He murmurs, brows furrowing. Why did you even think that?

“B-but you get on with Ellie way better now, and- and you don’t even talk to me anymore.”

He sighs softly. Ellie was.. A chatty kid. If she didn’t start all those conversations with him, he doubts he would’ve engaged with her nearly half as much as he did. He had grown to enjoy her ramblings, of course, but he was too stressed, anxious all the time on the road, to ever actually start the chats with her or you. He realises now how that would’ve looked to you, understands the emotional breakdown you’d just had, understands why you’d been so quiet recently.

You thought he didn’t want you anymore.

He gently pulls your head back, tilting it up so you could meet his eyes. His thumb catches a tear before it can fall and he starts explaining.

“Babygirl, I wasn’t not talkin’ to ya as much cuz I didn’t like ya. I was just stressed.. Too focused on gettin’ us across the country in one piece to worry about conversations. Ellie’s.. a bit of a chatterbox so of course I had to be respondin’ with her, but..” he trails off, guilt consuming him more and more as he tries to reason with himself. Yes he was nervous but that’s no excuse for the state his negligence has landed you in.

“Fuck, there ain’t no excuse, really. I just.. Please, please believe me right now. I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t hate you and I never ever could, okay?” He pleads, eyes searching yours for any sort of understanding or forgiveness.

He definitely doesn’t see hatred there like he’d seen when you first stormed up here, no, he just sees confusion, worry.

“You really don’t hate me? Even- even after I gave you so much attitude and I was shouting at you? Surely I deserve.. You shouldn’t be being nice to me…” You whisper, brows furrowing, confused at the fact someone was apologising to you. Normally you were the one apologising. He’d been the only person to ever show you compassion and understanding, and you thought, surely you’ve fucked it all up now.

He sighs again, shaking his head. “I could never ever hate you, honey. Never. No matter what you do or say to me, I can promise you hatred would never even cross my mind.”

You whimper again, nodding. “Okay.” Is all you can get past your lips, your body shaking with sobs again as he finally allows himself to hug you properly, rocking you back and forth and stroking your hair.

He isn’t surprised when you fall asleep like this, curled up in his arms. You’ve exhausted yourself in every way tonight, and you deserve a good, long rest.

He grunts softly as he stands up, still keeping you clutched in his arms as he makes his way to the bed and sets you down. He’ll take the couch, he figures. His back is fucked already.

But then you stir a little, blinking up at him as he watches you.

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“Can.. can you please stay tonight? I just.. I’m…” You can’t get the words out, but he understands. He knows what you need.

He gets in beside you, kissing your forehead after you cuddle up to him and drift off slowly, blanketed by his comforting presence, your mind a little less stormy with his reassurances now there instead.

Sleep evades him for much longer, though, distant memories of Sarah swirling within his mind. He wonders what she’d think of him, of you, of the way he’s taken you in like this. Would she be proud? Would she be angry? Would she feel like he’s replaced her?

He shakes his head, knowing that those thoughts would just cause him to distance himself from you again.

He finally manages to fall asleep at 2am, dreaming of Christmas trees and a little girl with curly hair.

Tysm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Tags - @tbeep @rosierogie @jjlevin @axshadows @pedropascalsbbg @pedroshotwifey @pedrosfanny @s0meoone

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ᰔ instructions !

↳ logan howlett x reader

logan didn’t do crying.

not his own, not anyone else’s.

so when he walked into the bedroom and saw you sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders shaking, face buried in your hands, he froze. the sound of your soft, broken sobs was enough to make his chest tighten, but it didn’t come with instructions.

“hey.” his voice was soft, rough around the edges like it always was, but it lacked his usual confidence. he hovered in the doorway, boots rooted to the floor. “what’s wrong?”

you didn’t answer. maybe you couldn’t, or maybe you didn’t want to. either way, it left him staring, feeling like an idiot for not knowing what to do.

“c’mon, darlin’,” he tried again, this time stepping into the room, hands flexing uselessly at his sides. “talk to me.”

you shook your head, a tiny, jerky movement that made his stomach twist.

he was used to fixing things with his fists, not his words. if there was a bad guy to take out, he’d handle it. if something broke, he’d patch it up. but this - whatever had you sitting there, tears slipping down your cheeks - this wasn’t something he could fight.

logan dragged a hand through his hair, pacing in a small circle like that would suddenly make the answer appear in front of him. “dammit,” he muttered under his breath before turning back to you. “you gotta tell me what to do, sweetheart, ’cause i - ” he stopped himself, swallowing hard.

your hands dropped just enough for him to see your face, eyes red and glassy, lips trembling. it hit him like a punch to the gut.

you sniffled, voice barely above a whisper. “just… come here.”

he moved instantly, sitting down beside you, the bed creaking under his weight. he still looked hesitant, though, his fingers twitching like he wasn’t sure where to put them.

“your hands,” you murmured, reaching out and guiding one of his rough, calloused hands to rest on your shoulder. then you leaned into him, head resting against his chest.

logan stayed still for a second, startled by how natural it felt to have you pressed against him like this, even though he didn’t do this kind of thing often enough.

“like this?” he asked gruffly, wrapping his other arm around you carefully, like you might break if he squeezed too tight.

you nodded against his chest, a shaky little sigh leaving your lips. “yeah. just… hold me.”

“okay.” his voice was quieter now, less gruff, as he pulled you in closer, his chin resting lightly on top of your head.

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. the only sounds were your soft sniffles and the steady, reassuring thrum of his heartbeat beneath your ear.

logan rubbed his thumb in slow, absent circles against your shoulder, his movements awkward at first but gradually smoothing out.

“you’re alright,” he murmured, the words awkward but sincere. “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. you just gotta let me know how to help, yeah?”

you didn’t answer, but your breathing evened out a little, the tension in your body easing bit by bit.

“better?” he asked after a while, his voice low and rumbly.

you tilted your head to look up at him, your cheeks still damp but your lips curving into a small, grateful smile. “a little.”

“good.” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back just enough to look at you. “you scared the hell outta me, y’know.”

“sorry,” you murmured, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand.

“don’t be,” he said firmly, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb. “just… next time, maybe let me know when you’re feelin’ like this? i don’t wanna screw it up.”

you chuckled softly, a watery sound that made his lips twitch into something resembling a smile. “you didn’t screw it up, logan. you’re perfect.”

“damn right,” he said, but there was no bite to it, just a quiet sort of relief that you were starting to feel more like yourself.

he kissed you then, soft and lingering, his lips brushing yours over and over like he couldn’t quite get enough. when he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his hands still cradling you gently.

“love you,” he mumbled, the words gruff but undeniably genuine.

“love you too,” you whispered back, the smile on your face now reaching your eyes.

logan might not have all the answers, but he had this - you - and for him, that was enough.

ᰔ logan howlett : @v3lv3tf0x, @dugiioh, @whxtewolf, @rooroen

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If this ain't the truth 🙃