#im gonna pass out when im home
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Note to self, having about 10 hours of sleep for 2 days with 2 cups of thai tea and 1 cup of black tea is a recipe for absolute regret
#i am extremely dizzy#HAHAHA#i fink#im gonna pass out when im home#been out shopping and doing bills hrhrjfjdj#gummmyspeaks#that and also the fact that i just recently finished my menses#bad combo
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SEL MY SEL …….. crawling over here for the ask game …………… you already know . who i’m going to ask for phdkdjdkdb IN MY DEFENSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER YOUR VERSION OF HIM !!!!!!!
….. sugu ….. with ’sun’ ……. maybe 👉👈
(🍵 <- a little matcha for your troubles … good luck with the writing exercises my loveee <33 i’m cheering you on!!!)
ARI 🥹🥹🥹🥹 hehe ofc i shall write sugu for u! writing him is always so fun 🥹 thank you for the prompt, and for the matcha!! i will be sipping it as i write this 🥹 it is not a trouble at alllll!! esp if it's for youuuuu 🫶
contains: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy neighbor suguru, mood can be a bit unsettling... honestly a little stockholm syndrome-y (does this count as dark? idk 😭), skewed concept of reality and time
suguru + sun
you move into a new neighborhood on your 24th birthday.
it's a quaint house, fully furnished with wooden panels lining its contemporary build. you consider yourself lucky for finding a place this well-kept at the price point you offered. you're honestly surprised that suguru, your now landlord, accepted your application.
the area sits a few kilometers on the outskirts of the city, but it feels neither too quiet nor too busy; a perfect balance with an impressive view of the rising sun this early in the morning. that, and the people seem friendly, greeting you as they pass by. they even offer to help you haul things out of your car and into the house.
to the right of your house is one that holds the same design elements at yours, although a bit darker in its tones. it's sleek and modern, befitting of a bachelor.
"you must be the new tenant," a voice speaks from behind you, syrupy and smooth. you didn't even hear his footsteps.
when you turn around, you're met with a tall man who greets you with his arms held behind his back as he tilts his head low. there's a calmness that radiates off him, a sort of gentleness that signals he’s someone you can trust.
you nod, introducing yourself with your hand outstretched towards him.
"suguru," he replies as his fingers grab yours delicately. your eyes widen in surprise, recognizing the name, and he merely chuckles in return, a soft laugh that brings out kindness in his eyes.
"i should greet you properly," he lets go of your hand, placing it back behind him. "hello, new neighbor."
.
over shared breakfasts by your porch and impromptu dinners over at his, you grow a liking to suguru. he's polite and thoughtful, often knocking at your door in the mornings to offer you a cup of tea to watch the sunrise.
"you'll only find sunrises like this here," he leans back on the wooden chair you set out as outdoor furniture. his head tilts towards you slightly, impossibly close as you notice the corner of his lips curl up into a small grin.
hues of pinks, purples, and orange blend to illuminate his face perfectly. the sun is beautiful in front you, peeking between clouds as it inches away from the horizon, but something about him is infinitely more magnetic. your stare is immediately drawn to his lips, smooth and supple, before it meets his gaze.
you don't know what's worse―wanting to lean in or be pulled by the look in his eyes.
he fixes things that break in your home, always somehow knowing just when to show up. at first, it was your windows, the one by the attic, too high and dangerous for you to climb; then, it was your kitchen sink, its pipes regurgitating the water going down the drain. he's begun to bring you your groceries too, often asking for a list of what you need when he makes trips out of town.
your days blur easily when you're with suguru, and time passes almost fleetingly as you find your hours filled with soft laughs and touches so delicate you sometimes wonder whether they're real.
it should be noted, you think, how much time has passed since you first met him―an anniversary of some sort.
.
you learn that he owns both houses―his and the one you're currently renting. it once belonged to a friend who had to move for bigger, greater responsibilities elsewhere, he'd said.
"why did you decide on renting?" you ask him one night, over wine and candlelight.
your fingers fiddle with his as he sits you on his lap, this thing between you growing more intimate lately. he rubs his thumb along your thigh, resting his chin by your shoulder.
"you could have sold it or something."
he presses his lips gently on your collarbone.
"i could've," his fingers trail up to your waist, crossing your chest before landing on your chin, cupping it lightly to face him. your heart is hammering in your chest, senses on fire as his nose kisses yours. you think you can count every mole that dots his face beautiful. then, he inches closer, lips grazing yours as he whispers, "but i was waiting for you."
.
you mark each day at sunrise.
your digital clocks and calendars stopped working after some time, but you don't mind. suguru always tells you what date it is when you ask.
this morning, you wake up in his bed, and the sun is still as breathtaking as you remember it, the same pink, purple, and orange hues streaming through his window. when you look closely, the clouds―
"good morning," he brings you tea in bed, his hair topped off with a bun, a half-up-half-down.
your stomach fills itself with something warm and fuzzy as you smile at him, "morning."
"slept well?" his hand reaches for your waist under the duvet, and you giggle, ticklish.
"very," you crane your neck to land a soft kiss on his lips. "what date is it today?"
"october 28," he supplies.
your eyebrows shoot up as you realize, "i have to bring my car to the mechanic."
it's been 6 months now since your last check, right before you moved, and though you barely use your car anyway, it's best to be safe.
you quickly move to get up but suguru's hand keeps you in place, firmly pressed on your waist.
"i'll do it," he says with a smile on his face, "you rest here."
.
you barely see your other neighbors except for the girl who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and the twins down the street.
when you ask suguru about it, he dismisses the question quickly, saying, "must have moved," as he urges you to take another sip of your tea.
you dream of them that night, on bare streets; it wakes you in a cold sweat, the image of your neighborhood reduced to just your house and suguru's.
.
this is the 200th sunrise since you started counting, which means this is the 200th day since you and suguru officially got together. kind of.
your gift for him is a painting of the sunrise, because it reminds you of him; and because it's become your favorite thing to look forward to, too.
the pinks and purples blend together beautifully as it contrasts with the orange hues, and the sun continues to peak above the horizon as it settles between clouds.
suguru kisses you when you give it to him, the taste of tea right on his tongue.
he frames it on his bedside, and when you wake in his room the next morning, it greets you along with the back of his head, fast asleep.
your eyes flit to the view outside his window, the same pinks, purples, and orange hues. you tilt your head curiously, brows furrowing. the sun stays at the same spot above the horizon, and when you look at the painting again, the clouds hold the same position and shape.
a chill washes over you, your hearbeat pounding.
.
"what date is it today?" you ask suguru as you wash the potatoes in the sink.
another bag of groceries from suguru. now that you think about it, you don't think you've ever gone to the grocery store since moving.
"is it important?" he responds, slightly snappy. you've begun to notice that he hates it when you ask lately.
you eye him from the side.
"i was thinking of preparing a menu of what we'll eat during the holidays, if it's near."
the furrow on his brows smooths out as you give your answer, and so he says, "december 5."
and you know something is wrong, because that can't be it. it doesn't make sense with the sunrises you've counted.
.
you dream again, more and more as the days go by―dirt roads and your house and suguru's, run-down and empty. more things start breaking in your apartment, and suguru always knows when they need to be fixed.
there's a deep, twisting feeling in your stomach that intensifies, festering under your skin; it worsens in the mornings, when you sit with suguru at your porch and you think you see a crack in the sunrise.
.
sunrise valley the place where the sun never sets! ─── beautiful, bright, and destined for people who live just like you! find your new home here.
[DISCONTINUED] — FOR DEMOLITION ON DECEMBER 7. under investigation for suspicious spiritual activity and missing persons.
#suguru x reader#jjk x reader#shotorus.workbook#waaah i hope u like this ari!! its a little bit (really) different from the genre i typically write#but i was talking to niku abt it and she urged me to push for this kinda strange kinda spooky one#its not fwb sugu like how i normally write him but i hope it's still /him/ yk ? sAWB#some stuff about the blurb: he's not human ! he's a spirit ! not necessarily evil but i think definitely a little bit possessive#he lures people in and builds that 'neighbourhood' around them; kind of like a simulation ? the tea he serves is meant to keep#the people hallucinating !#and also in real life before all of this went down reader was looking for a home and saw the listing#reader sent an application without visiting bc desperate ! (idt u should ever do that irl tho haha) but yeah#so when reader drove up the first time to the location it was actually just a dirt road#but theres some magic juju at a border that makes reader pass out ! and he feeds them the tea and thats how reader thinks that#they drove all the way to the house and everything . basically believes in whatever suguru makes them see#there are lots of details i included that kind of mean smth more later on but i wont list them here anymore ! i hope u catch them eheh#the lore of the neighborhood is that satoru and suguru were gonna build it together but they had a falling out (haha)#bc of difference in opinion hahah and so the plan never really went thru and suguru got hella stressed by it and so on and on and on#which is why his spirit is here !#i had to cut it short ! bc it would have been hella long 😭 but i would have added more stuff in between if ever#if u have any questions abt this lmk ! whbshfbash i hope u like it wahhh its really different from what im used to writing!#ari.🦔#ask#rep#twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat
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I tried to cross my legs on the plane and my hip hurts so bad on my right side I had to grab my pant leg and use mostly the force of my arms to get it over
#i have a hunch i know what i did to it based on when the pain started oops thats tmi but#man alive all the walking didnt help i cannot wait to have edible sweet edible when i get home and pass out#i think im gonna call in monday i cant be doing manual labor even if it's feeling a lot better and just hurt it more
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i'm at my fucking limit
#HELP ME WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF#rode a bike to school#and my potato ass is not used to this at all#im abt to pass out#im trying so hard to stay strong but like please HBJERFEBFHJJBERF#dean rambles#anyways when i get home im fucking !!!#RESTING#and im gonna be drawing those requests#i CANT KEEP PUTTING IT OFF NOW!
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I'm so fucked
#ramblings with major#cursing#trying to fix my sleep schedule so i can be on time at work when i have to show up ~6 hours before the store opens#meaning at least 6 hours before i usually get up on early days#and im still struggling to wake up#it doesnt help that i close the night before and if i were to pass out the moment i get home and wake up with Maybe enough time to get ready#id still only get 7 hours of sleep. so with dinner. showering. getting ready for bed. thats at least two hours lost.#and then whether or not i actually fall asleep once my head hits the pillow. well that could be a couple hours.#especially if im so stressed about waking up on time#im not gonna get sleep. i might not even wake up in time. and then i work for 8 hours.#aaaaaaaa#why cant they just close the store. for a DAY#so we can work the NORMAL HOURS
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OHBMY GOD I FORGOT SHE HAD BEEN SHIPPED!!!
#IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT#I wasn’t meant to get her til Feb🥹#that’s my daughter#she’s in there!#nov 2023#little nightmares#🕯️ in the palm of my hand#gonna free her when I get off of work#had to do half the day from home because I forgot to take my new meds and I was passing out at my desk 🤪
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good morning everyone!!! 🫶
seeing my fav band today… very excited
#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#i haven’t seen them in. nearly a decade HSJCJDJX#you could say ive been in the game for awhile…#i’m just hoping to score some cute merch and get a good spot in the crowd#not barricade bc 1 im too old to fight thru a crowd 2 im going by myself so i don’t wanna risk passing out#when i was a bit younger i used to love moshing and camping at concerts and trying to get as close as possible#but now that honestly just sounds exhausting…😭😭#think i’m gonna pregame at home then just try and have a chill time 🫶
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NOBODY MOVE I'M HAVING POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MORDRED AND ATLAS.
#they finally talk. mordred tells his big brother that 'once upon a time i was supposed to stop breathing before i hit my teens.'#he tells him everything about knowing when his death day passed about the nightmares and the confusion and the agoraphobia#he tells him about his insecurities and his self-hatred -- how terribly must he have fucked up to not even be worthy of dying?#he tells him he's scared and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with all this....life.#and atlas is THERE and he hugs him and he's so fucking relieved that - whatever his brother was meant for - he survived.#he hugs his little brother and tells him its okay to be scared because no one really knows what theyre doing with their lives#he holds his face between his hands and god when did mordred get so big?#''all you have to do is KEEP living okay? that's what you do with life: you live it.''#its not exactly poetry but it IS what mordred needs to hear#ive been thinking A Lot about mordred making an appearance in the searching but idk for sure yet#i just need to figure out WHEN this conversation happens so i can wrap up mordreds arc the way he deserves#i think im gonna try patching his and atlas's relationship across the second and third book#like atlas is HOME and then he's not and mordred is bitter but then- a letter. atlas has written to him.#and he keeps writing. bc he knows now what it is to lose someone and he doesnt want to lose his brother#so they're pen pals!! and it's stiff and formal and awkward and slow going but eventually they're exchanging gossip and venting and.#aaaa#happy lavore content wow look at me go#lavore brothers#mordred lavore#atlas lavore
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i hope my last motivational post about turning my life around didnt imply that im gonna stop being a hater. i will be a hater forever, im just gonna be more nuanced and thoughtful about it now. also i developed yet another weird crush on an old man in a shitty band.
#reporting live from da hospital they gave me valium so im 🤤🤤🤤#im starving tho i got leftover pizza in my fridge that im gonna DESTROY when i get home. and maybe also make peanut butter sandwich.#i didnt get a turkey sandwich like last time i was at the hospital and im angy about it >:(#im gonna go home and binge eat and then try to pass tf out ive been awake for like 2 days now#anyways i was da goodest boy in the world despite being horrified of hospitals cause you know how much a lot of healthcare#workers are looking for any excuse to justify and commit medical abuse sadly#so i was on my best behavior#shut up judas
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Appointment went fine. Got everything sorted out & got confirmation that I should be able to graduate in the spring.
I also officially applied to graduate.
Got so overwhelmed by this & my grief over the fact that my dad won't be there for it that I ended up crying in the bathroom over it. 👍 but it's a good thing overall. Just. You Know.
#speculation nation#i am Not someone prone to tears so this is very strange.#could count the number of times ive cried in public on my two hand (excluding when i was a kid or at like. funerals.)#can honestly say ive never cried like this in a public bathroom stall before. what a novel experience.#thank god no one's come in tho. which. im still there lol ive been here for like 25 minutes now#got the emotions out tho. and im gonna go eat smth. and then get back to work on my midterm assignment.#dont have very long so i need to do it when im on campus. bc i wont have the motivation at home.#but for now. need to get some food. decompress a bit. and then get to work.#genuinely kind of crazy. i applied to graduate. that feels so surreal.#it's been almost 10 years after all. but finally. Finally... im almost there.#doesnt feel real. still feel pretty overwhelmed. but my schoolwork wont wait for me.#i need to make sure that i do graduate. need to pass all my classes and pass them well.#and man someone just came in lol. almost half an hour after i got here. really is my cue to get going lol#agh. sometimes i hate having emotions.
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gritting my teeth. the world is beautiful bcuz i have a kitty cat sitting next to me
#me.txt#i had such a bad shift at work i was on the verge of tears for like three hours#i have a kitty cat now tho. peachy is sitting with me. and she greeted me when i got home.#im really tired i think im gonna go pass out soon
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okay buck would definitely be like hey eddie let's spar together and eddie would be like okay!! sparring is so much fun!! and so they would go to a gym after their shift and spar and it would be Fine for about 5 minutes. before buck realizes he's in over his head and his size is Not an advantage with eddie because eddie is able to pin him down no matter what buck does. and buck would be so horny and frustrated the entire time and eddie would be confused because I thought you could fight buck??? why are you giving up once I pin your hands down??? and buck would try to be all ha ha I guess I can't compete against a former street fighter while actively trying to hide his erection
#buck wants eddie to rough him up#like thats actually canon you cannot twll me otherwise#its also canon outside of buddie (buck wants mr im not gonna say his name to teach him a method of fighting)#like buck canonically wants to spar with men he thinks are sexy so you know hes gonna ask eddie#like eddie can we spar 🥺🥺🥺#sure why not buck#and buck would be like okay yay!! dont take it easy on me btw i can take it#and so ofc eddie would take it easy on him but hed still come out on top every time because yeah buck has size and strength to his advantage#but eddie has actual experience fighting people and bucks only ever hit a punching bag#so buck would end up pinned to the ground everytime and eddie would tease him in a way that feels good and hes dizzy because eddies pinning#him down and smiling above him and holding his wrists against the floor and kinda straddling his hips and what else can buck so except get#hard#so he does and eddie doesnt notice at first but then he shifts and oh#buck are you#and maybe buck tries to muscle his way out of eddies hold but fails and stares up at eddie with flushed cheeks and a hard dick and hopes#eddie just brushes it off#but eddie doesnt and buck almost passes out when eddies hips shift and he can feel how hard eddie is#and so maybe they sit there for a moment#feeling each others erection and hot gaze and wanting and yearning and desire#before eddie says what if we should go home#and bucks nodding before he even finishes the sentence because hes follow buck anywhere
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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Thinking of developing Mel's and Marigold's story a little more now that I'm thinking of Mel's present time a lot :3c I'm gonna make it so that Mari moves in with Mel so Mel can have someone else around in his home other than cats!
#aria rants#basically the way it was before is that mel moved out to live elsewhere when he got old enough while mari stayed in their old home#now im gonna make it so that after some years passed. mel manages to convince mari to live with him! ofc their dog is coming along too <3#that dog is gonna be so old since mel got him when he was 15 and now hes 30... ancient grandpa... love and cared for so well <3#ariaoc#I KEEP FORGETTING THAT TAG
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my partner took me out to an aquarium and then a theme park as an early birthday present :-] going to the arcades next I'm p sure !! having such a good day today.
#currently waiting for food in a DINOSAUR THEMED RESTAURANT??#sick as fuck!!!!#bots tomorrow because im gonna pass the fuck out the second i get home but oh my god im so happy and motivated rn#virgil yaps#that moment when virgil realises his loved ones DON'T actually hate him!!
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went to see godzilla!! i was so wired from happiness and excitement that i was milimeters from buying a ticket to the second showing thats gonna start in 20mins
#godzilla has been a special interest since i was a kid#peak reason why i wonder we didnt find out i was autistic as a kid JSJSJSJSJSJS#she means so much to me. im sooooolll#im!!! emotional. probably gonna pass out and sleep for two hours when i get home#IM GONNA MAKE A PIECE ABT THIS W IWAIZUMI TRUST!!!!#i remember not thibking much of iwa in the beginning. then learning he loved godzilla#evERYTHING CHABGED LMAO#sorry for ranting like this im just so !!! WAAAAAAAA#nohr.txt
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