#when i was a bit younger i used to love moshing and camping at concerts and trying to get as close as possible

[dreamwinged]

good morning everyone!!! 🫶

seeing my fav band today… very excited

[gdi-notagain]

Feeling parasocial about Stray Kids hours!!

Note: I’m FULLY aware that we are not friends and do not know each other. Will my brain still do this to me? Duh.

Anyway, cringe under the cut.

Most of my exes are music producers. I started thing about this because of fucking HAN JISUNG. Now thinking about it more they were all friends too, although now they aren't and don't produce together. They use to though. Wow...thinking about it I really just dated the entire friend group. I'm going to refer to these guys as "fakeXXXX" if I need to but. yeah. Also I'm sorry if these sound a little y/n of me...it's my life and fucking it sometimes real life IS JUST THAT DRAMATIC.

As he started all of this, I'll start with Han.

fakeHan

Han looks like a friend-a near miss ex of mine (he had dated my best friend first). Both of them have the cheeks, and eyes that get big and bright when they are feeling mischievous. We had feelings for each other but mine weren’t strong enough to betray my friend by dating her ex like that. Anyway he's a musician still and a producer. He and I were in two different groups together and it was so much fun creating with him. Really we make better musical partners than ACTUAL partners. He always lightened the mood and brought the energy. I mean it is a lot of assuming about Han because AGAIN I ONLY KNOW THE HAN HE SHOWS US.

fakeChangbin

Fucking. Changbin. Physically does not look like this ex at all. Actually physically this ex looks more like Hyunjin. But I'd still liken him personality and musically to Changbin. both are loud, fast rappers, will defend their friends fiercely. Again, a producer...I said I HAVE A TYPE. And he cheated on me ahahah. Not seriously cheated, but started feeling things for another woman while we were dating and then started lying to me in small ways. Actually my Han substitute was the one who told me what was happening, totally betraying his friend. I found out later that was when fakeHan started being interested and that's why he told on fakeChangbin.

My last ex to talk about who'd be a part of my fakeRACHA I'll leave to last because tbh it was the most traumatic and I'll move to some of my favorite relationships.

fakeFelix

Felix reminds me of my very first boyfriend. Physically...not similar...at all. Maybe that he was unusually ripped for a 16 year old? Also as a person you'd not expect him to be ripped but he was? Personality wise similar. Gamers, gentle, BIG INTO CUDDLING ANYONE. He had this deep voice. Like way deeper than a 16 year old should have. He was weirdly self conscious about his voice but I LOVED it. Nothing and I mean NOTHING was better than laying my head on his chest and listening to him talk. We'd talk until 2am just like that. We went to concerts together and he even did the VERY y/n thing of holding my hand in a mosh pit. He wasn't a part of the friend group i dated around, we'd actually met because of a music camp. A beautiful summer relationship. When summer ended we broke up and I cried while watching sad chick flicks. He was in a band. I’m not sure what he’s doing now. Ahaha I just did a quick google and he's a producer but a PODCAST producer ahaha good to know he's putting that voice to good use.

fakeIN

IN reminds me of my rebound from my most traumatic ex. Physically broad shouldered and a little gangly, but in an endearing way. Similar cheekbones and smile as well. Maybe a little bit of Lee Know too because he is a proud cat dad. But personality, still IN. So sweet. Just, so fucking gentle and caring. Their eyes look similar when they smile. Also when they look worried. I saw him worried a lot. We were rebounds for each other which cancelled out any of the weird feelings around suddenly dating your friend of ten years. It was the healthiest rebound ever because it was recognized early on that we just needed another person with us after a traumatic relationship. We also weren't super physically romantic. We'd occasionally kiss, we'd hold hands a lot. I remember my favorite part was when we'd eat together he'd eat the outside of my sugarsnap peas for me because I only liked the individual peas on the inside.

fakeChan

This is the one that hurts me the most. The final offender is fucking CHRISTOPHER BANG. It's not his fault that I've parasocialed him into this role. He reminds me of the ex that ruined my life for two whole years. Both are sorta skater dude adjacent, into anime, act shy but can flip a switch, and fucking BUFF with a noseeee. Definitely the leader of my fakeRACHA friend group despite my fakeIN acting older than fakeChan. They're both unsurprisingly Libras which normally I wouldn't read into but if the shoe fits....He was also kinda possessive? Not in a weird way but he gave me a hoodie of his to wear because it smelled like him and this beanie he loved because he thought I looked cute in it. He gave me a ring for my birthday and would play with it when we held hands. Plus he was a romantic. I remember him talking to me in between making out and playing video games about the places we’d travel to together. The vacation destinations we’d sleep with each other. I mean even in our daily lives we really had a difficult time keeping our hands off each other. If we weren't cuddling, he'd hold my hand, or drape his arm around me. He loved having me sit on his lap so he could put his chin on my shoulder.

Dating fakeChan was the closest I’ve been to dating a celebrity. He wasn’t the most popular guy but he was the most attractive “alternative” guy at the school and probably out of my league? Honestly I am not sure. The amount of hate I got for dating him was intense. Notes to him, notes to me, social media anons. I wasn’t good enough in so many ways according to these people. I really tried to be the most awesome, coolest, chillest girlfriend about everything. He even had a group of sorta...fangirls? There were three of them that were younger who'd follow him around and wanted him to date one of them. He never did nor did he show interest. I cannot stress how wild it was. I'm sure it sounds fake. I learned some basic self defense because another woman threatened to jump me because I was dating him. fakeChan is the reason why I say I’d never ever ever date anyone famous. I’m sure that hate fucked me up. Bless those who do it, could not be me.

Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Lee Know

So because I have some shred of sanity left, i haven't really found any parallels with these three in my dating or crushing history. I think largely because I'm basing it on a combo of personality and physicallity Well...I'm sorta lying because yes I'm always crushing on Scorpios like Lee Know but they also scare me so. 50% of the people I've dated have similar statures' to Hyunjin, about 5' 9" and on the not buff but not thick side however he's just such a prince...none of my partners can relate. Seungmin successfully comes off as a cute sporty guy which I've literally never dated even once. Shocker I know.