sounds-like-humpty-dumpty

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

The Affair (Part 3)

Summary: who would have guessed, Van and Y/N meet again. Of course, it contains smut.

Smut, Van x Reader 3 of 3

The third time she met Van was at the pub. Sebastian had invited Esther and Y/N, and told them that Johnny Bond and "a couple of his band members" would be there too. Of course, she couldn't be a hundred per cent sure he meant Van but she was assuming it was him, so she accepted the invitation, saying she would come ‘round after work.

When Bondy asked Van if he wanted to hang out with him, Sebastian and "a couple of others" Van's mind instantly went to Y/N. If Sebastian was invited he was sure Y/N would somehow be invited too. So, of course, Van agreed to join them. He was, however, disappointed when he arrived to find only Bondy, Sebastian and Esther sitting around a table, he knew Larry would join them later but it irritated him that Y/N was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't very well ask them where she was or if she was still coming since it would have been a little too obvious in his opinion. For the first time, he wished he had her number so he could ask her directly. He grabbed a beer at the bar and scanned the pub for her face one last time before trudging to his group of friends.

He had been looking forward to seeing Y/N and, most likely, taking her back home. Now that he knew she wasn't there, he felt irrationally disappointed and annoyed. He tried not to show it though as he sat down at the table and greeted Sebastian, Esther and Bondy. Larry joined them half an hour later when Van was already well into his second beer, and Van gave up any hope Y/N would show up that evening.

Y/N could have called Esther to tell her she was arriving later than she planned but the tube was busy and loud and the signal kept giving out.  When she finally made her way through the pub's doors and instantly saw Esther at the bar, she sighed in relief. She wasn't too late. Esther, who saw her too, laughed and opened her arms for a hug "Gosh, you look like shite." Y/N laughed too while she embraced her friend "yeah, today was too long."

Van was already well drunk when Y/N joined them at the table. He didn't recognise her for a second, thinking his drunken mind was playing tricks on him. But when she sat down next to him, he suddenly became hyperaware of her presence. "Hi" she smiled as she sat down next to him on the bench. "Hey" he nodded back.

Y/N could smell the alcohol on him, he was holding a whiskey glass in his hands. The atmosphere between them was awkward. Van who had given up any hope of sex this evening, decided to drown his expectations in alcohol. Now that she was actually sitting beside him, real and smelling like mint, he was just annoyed with himself for throwing in the towel so soon. He was sure that he was too drunk now to be of any appeal for her to go home with him.

Y/N chatted aimlessly with her friends while being aware of how quiet Van was beside her. She was unsure of the reason, even thought it was her fault for a few minutes. But when her knee accidentally bumped into his leg under the table while she was telling a story about one of the costumers in the store last week, she could feel his knee bump back into hers, signalling that he wasn't opposed to her after all. A couple of minutes later she bumped her leg into his again, whilst listening to Sebastian tell a story about a similar irritating situation with a guy at his workplace. But instead of drawing it away again, she kept pressing her leg into Van's trying to spread her legs as wide as she could on the bench they were both sharing. Trying to claim as much space for herself as she could and make Van aware of his massive man-spread. When Van glanced at her, she just smiled at him innocently. He pushed his leg back against her, claiming space back, spreading his legs wider than before. A game began under their table, both of them trying to push and bump the other's leg away while remaining seemingly calm from the torso upwards so none of their friends would notice. But Y/N decided to play dirty, because Van had much stronger legs and made her lose the space she had effortfully claimed, far too easily. So when he had his legs spread way too far into her own leg space, she reached a hand down under the table and pinched his inner thigh, causing Van to instinctively shut is legs instantly, trapping her hand between his legs. She quickly pulled her hand out but couldn't keep her mouth from erupting into a little surprised laugh, directing attention to herself and consequently Van. "You guys need to get a room" Larry muttered and Y/N couldn't help but snort with amusement. Van too was amused, glad Y/N was still up for her little games. It was something he appreciated her for.

The evening came to a close and their friends were ready to leave. Van and Y/N, both intoxicated, decided not to care what their friends thought. It was no secret they hooked up with each before. Although they never admitted it officially. When Van's Uber arrived, Y/N got into the car with him, after saying a quick goodbye to the rest of the group and exchanging knowing grins with Esther.

The car ride was only ten minutes to Van's place and when he opened the door to the familiar flat, Y/N stepped right in, kicked off her shoes and pushed her jacket off her shoulders and went into his bedroom. Van followed her and when they both stood in front of the bed, mustering each other, Y/N took the first step, taking the hem of Van's shirt and pushing it upwards, not even bothering with unbuttoning it. Van obliged and his shirt was off within seconds. The same happened to her jumper. That's when their lips finally met for the first time that night. He tasted like alcohol and the cigarettes he had been smoking while waiting for their ride, and just a tiny bit like him. Her fingers found his belt and he helped her loosen it. She pushed him down on the bed and with a couple of movements, his jeans was off. She quickly removed hers too before climbing on top of him. He sat up and scooted towards the headboard to lean his back against it. She followed him and straddled his hips. He reached behind her to successfully unclasp her bra, while she leant back into him, her lips attacking the skin of his neck. She reached a hand down to feel him hardening already. She slipped it into his boxer and felt Van's hands squeeze her bum and bucking his hips towards hers. She motioned to pull his boxers off and he raised his butt and pulled them off quickly. Her panties quickly following. Once she was positioned on top of him again, one hand steadying herself on his shoulder, she took his penis in her other hand and slowly guided herself onto it. Both of them moaning when he glided into her deeper and deeper.

"Fuck, Van." She moaned and began pulling herself up again before pushing herself down, dictating the speed. One of Van's hand was on her back, the other reached between them and quickly found her clit. She gasped as he started rubbing it and her hips started to buck into his with more erratic movement. He kissed her neck, nipped the skin of her shoulders with his teeth and met the movement of her hips with his. Their breathing began to speed up and synchronise.

Y/N pulled Van's hair to make him stop kissing her neck and instead pressed her lips onto his. "Van," she moaned, "fuck Van I'm gonna cum." He stopped rubbing her clit, eliciting a disapproving sound from Y/N. She tried to buck her hips into his even harder to signal she was close and didn't want him to stop. But Van's hand wouldn't go back. "Vaaaannn," she whined, "please". "Just a little longer, love" he whispered into her ear.

He wasn't quite ready to cum yet. Didn't want their intimacy to end just now. He was sure if she came now, he would have no problem coming too, but he wanted to draw this out, wanted to last longer. And quite frankly he liked how needy she was for him.

She slowly pulled herself up and down on him again. Leisurely moving her hips with his. He groaned and began kissing down her jaw to her neck again. "Vaannn" she breathed into his ear. He grunted at how sexy and lustful she sounded. Her hips began picking up speed again, her breasts were bouncing with the movement. Van could feel himself build up.

"Fuuuck" he breathed "Y/N, slower". But instead of slowing down, she stopped completely. Van, who had his eyes screwed close, opened them in confusion just to be met with a sly smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Not so funny now, is it?" She said and slung her arms around his neck to press herself against his chest. Her nipples were hard and sensitive to the feel of his chest hair. She nipped the skin underneath his ear and slowly started moving again.

Van gripped her hips and groaned as she moved her hips in circles while he was inside her. So deep, so full. She wanted to cum so bad. She started bucking her hips again, slow at first then speeding up.

Van's forehead found hers, they didn't kiss, just breathed onto each other's faces with open mouths. "Please Van," she said and this time Van obliged and brought one hand between them and started circling her clit again. It didn't take long until she was on the edge again "Fuck, Van, I'm gonna cum, you better keep moving". His small chuckle was quickly replaced by a moan as he felt her cum around his cock, her muscles contracting and squeezing around him. He came then and there too.

Y/N woke up to Van lightly snoring, there was light flooding in from the window, indicating it was morning already. She didn't want to get up yet though, didn't want to leave the warm comfort of his bed. She snuggled herself into his blanket and closed her eyes again. The next time she woke up, was because she felt a finger brushing hair away from her face. She was lying on her side and opened one eye to see Van looking at her but quickly closed it again, pretending she was still sleeping. She couldn't help a little smile tugging at her lips however, giving away that she was indeed conscious. Van, of course, saw the action and knew she was just pretending. He decided to take part in her game. He scooted closer to her body and placed a hand on her waist. His touch was light and Y/N had difficulty not to shiver under the movements of his hand. He carefully brushed his fingers up and down her side, tickling her ever so slightly. He could feel her tensing up, but she still wouldn't open her eyes. His hand slowly traced further south until he stopped between her legs. He slowly and carefully stroked over her folds, keeping a close eye on her face. He found her clit and began circling it, eliciting a first reaction from her. She inhaled sharply, her mouth opening just slightly, yet her eyes remained closed. Since her legs were closed, Van had difficulty inserting his fingers so he just kept focusing on her clit, spreading the wetness that began pooling between her legs up onto it. His finger getting faster and faster and then slowing again. She was starting to breath heavier and Van smiled at her determination to keep her eyes shut and pretend she was still sleeping. He kept speeding up and slowing down, at times stopping fully and caressing her bum instead before going back to her clit. She only lasted a couple of minutes until his teasing game became too torturous for her. She was coming so close just for him to slow down again. She opened her eyes and was instantly met with the blue of his. He had this little crooked smile plastered across his face and Y/N wanted to slap it off, but instead, she just scooted closer into his body and kissed it away. She was moaning into Van's mouth when his fingers picked up speed again and lifted her leg to drape it over his hips so he had better access. This time he kept going until she came, her hand clutched his shoulder, her head on the pillow, mouth open, eyes wide open and locked onto Van's.

When the last wave of her orgasm subsided she let her hand travel south towards Van's member who had gotten rock hard during her orgasm. She grasped him in her hand and started pumping him up and down, flicking her thumb over his tip every now and then. Their eyes never left one another. Now it was Van's turn to start breathing heavy. Her leg was still draped around his hip and she scooted closer so she could tease his tip with her warm and wet folds. Van swallowed when he felt her wetness on him. She guided him up and down her folds a couple of times before positioning him onto her entrance. All it needed was a little push of his hips and he would be inside her. Y/N was waiting for him to push in, still stroking him up and down, but Van wasn't moving. "Van," she furrowed her brows into a frown. But Van just kept on looking at her, a challenge in his eyes. And she knew then, that whoever bucked their hips first would lose. But what he didn't calculate into his little game was that she still reigned over his cock. Stroking it up and down, turning his little game from earlier on him, she sped up and then slowed down. But Van wasn't powerless either. His hand found her clit and he knew if he just kept on bring her close and withdrawing again, he would get her to lose within minutes.

What he didn't expect, however, was her distracting him with little dirty whispers. "Van," she gasped into his ear as his fingers picked up speed, "please fuck me, Van." He groaned and almost gave in, but only almost. "Please Van," she whispered again "I want you inside me." Van tried to concentrate on his fingers on her clit, rubbing her faster, but when he felt her hand pumping him up and down and teasing his tip by circling him around her entrance, he lost it and pushed his hip towards her, just closely missing her entrance.

Y/N wasn't in the mood to celebrate her win, she just wanted him inside her, she wasn't lying about that. She quickly guided his penis to her entrance again and Van pushed himself in with one swift move, her wetness making it easy for him to glide in. He pushed her onto her back, hovering above her. She wrapped her other leg around his hip, and Van was able to push even deeper, making both of them groan. "Fuck me, Van." Y/N moaned again and Van was more than happy to oblige. It didn't take long for both of them to come undone; their previous teasing making them both overeager.

After Van dropped onto his back again, out of breath and satisfied, and Y/N had enough time to catch her breath too, she started to collect her clothes from the ground.

In the meantime, Van reached over to grasp her phone that was lying on the bedside table on her side. When he tried to unlock it, it asked for a password. He stretched his arm towards her as if to give her the phone, and she took it from him with a questioning look. "Unlock it" he just said and she took it from him, unlocked it and put it back into his still outstretched hand. She didn't have any secrets from him and she doubted he would do anything with her phone that could harm her.

She went into the bathroom with her clothes and tried to sort herself out as best as she could. When she entered the bedroom, her locked phone was lying on the bedside table again; Van seemingly uninterested in it now. He just smiled at her when she took it and put it into her jacket's pocket. She would have a look later as to find out what he did with it. "Well then," she said. "Well then," Van echoed. "Perhaps I'll see you around." It was a statement she dared to say now, knowing that Van wasn't opposed to fucking her more than just once. "Yeah" Van nodded. She nodded too and made her way to the front door of the flat, she opened it, stepped out and just as she pulled it close she heard him shout: "Just call me!"

She wasn't sure if she heard right but as she made her way down the stairs, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her contacts. She almost stumbled down the last steps as she saw "Van" was added into it. She opened the contact and saw that he really saved his number into her phone. She couldn't contain her smile all the way back to her own flat.

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

The Affair (Part 2)

Summary: Van and Y/N meet again. But instead of being awkward, they get right back to their shenanigans. Their relationship is built through physicality so obviously there is gonna be smut.

Smut, Van x Reader 2 of 3

The second time they met was at yet another party, Van and Y/N hadn't seen each other for five months, not that they expected to ever see each other again anyway. It turned out (after Y/N had stayed the night at Van's) that Sebastian, who was Y/N's flatmate's boyfriend, was old childhood friends with Johnny Bond. So, when Sebastian invited Y/N and Esther to another party, it didn't surprise Y/N to find Van lounging there too. He, however, was too occupied chatting up some blonde girl to notice her entrance at first.

Y/N tried to swallow the bitterness that spread in her mouth as she saw them together. She had no right to feel bitter about it. What she and Van had was long over and more importantly a one-night-only thing. So she decided to distract herself by firstly pouring herself a drink in the kitchen and then making conversation with other people at the party, far away from Van.

What Y/N didn't know though, was that Van realised quite early in the night that he had made a mistake. What the blonde girl had in looks, she lacked in personality. Something Van could have easily overlooked if she hadn't demanded him to give her more attention than he could provide. She knew she was fucking gorgeous and wanted him to acknowledge it whenever she deemed fit. As soon as Van made the mistake of chatting her up and introducing him as the lead singer of Catfish and the Bottlemen, she clung onto him, making it impossible for him to excuse himself and when he did, it didn't take her five minutes until she was next to him again.

Something his friends noticed with amusement. They took some weird gratification in his pained facial expressions whenever the Blonde would appear next to him again after he managed to escape her for a couple of minutes. She either was completely oblivious to his disinterest or decided to ignore it and sit it out until he finally decided to take her home and fuck her anyways.

Y/N was unknowing of Van's dismay until she stood together with a group of people which happened to include Bondy. He was watching the blonde girl and Van interacting and chuckled when he saw Van's pained fake smile after she had presumedly made a joke. Y/N who was standing a little to his left and out of sight craned her neck to look at the scene that had Bondy chuckling and asked: "What's so funny?"

Bondy averted his eyes from the couple and looked at her instead "You see the blonde with Van?" Y/N nodded unsure of where he was going with this question. Surely she hid her discontent well enough for him not to comment on it, she hoped. He continued "She's been onto him since we arrived but I think Van would rather bathe in dog shit than spend one more hour with her" Y/N raised one eyebrow at the phrasing of Bondy's statement but looked back at Van who was now putting a hand on the girl's shoulder and leaned down to say something into her ear. No wonder she kept clinging onto him if he behaved like that, practically leading her on with his gentlemanly actions. He probably didn't even realise what he was doing and thought he was just being polite.

Van vanished into the crowd, seemingly in the direction of the loo and Y/N picked up her conversation with the other people in their group again. She wasn't sure how long she chatted away for when she suddenly got interrupted by the blonde girl tapping Bondy's shoulder "have you seen Van?" she asked him but Bondy shook his head and looked at Y/N who shrugged her shoulders in response "No idea, sorry love."

Y/N wondered why Van was so averse towards the girl, she was bloody beautiful. Her hair was all wavy and her makeup so well done it looked like she stepped right out of an Instagram makeup post. If she did it herself she could work as a makeup artist, no doubt. What was so wrong with her that Van wouldn't want to take her home?

She began to decide that she would go looking for him herself to find out. And when the blonde girl left to continue her search for Van, Y/N excused herself and went out into the back garden of the house. Van struck her as the kind of person to hide in a place where he could have a smoke in peace and quiet, so she figured she might as well try looking in the place she would go to first. It was quite a big garden for London standards. There was enough space for a terrace completed by a barbecue and a lawn that was big enough to host a big trampoline. At the end of the garden was a shed hidden by darkness since the lights of the terrace didn't reach that far back. It was a long shot but she made her way towards the shed.

As she walked closer she could smell cigarette smoke and she knew she was right. She made sure to make no sound as she sneaked towards the back of the shed. It was dark and she peeked around the corner to make sure it was really Van who was hiding behind it. He was squatting, back leaned against the wall of the shed. She could only make out his face thanks to the gleaming end of his cigarette.

She grinned to herself and took a big inhale before jumping around the corner while shouting one big "BOO!". He was so startled that he lost his balance, fell onto his side and dropped the cigarette into the puddle his body had closely missed. Y/N was laughing so hard that she didn't even hear half of Van's cussing, but it was something along the lines of "For fuck's sake! What the fuck, mate?! What the fuck you doing?!!"

Only when Van realised who had ambushed him -that it was Y/N who was laughing- did he relax and righted himself up again. This time not bothering with squatting and just sitting on the cold ground, long legs outstretched in front of him. "Ha ha, very funny" he sulked while producing a new cigarette from a box in his jacket's pocket. Y/N laughter subsided as he lit it and she sat down beside him holding up a palm, signalling she wanted to bum one off of him. He snorted in mock annoyance but produced a second ciggy from his pocket. When she had lit it and exhaled her first lung full of smoke, she asked "why are you hiding back here?" as if she didn't know. Van just gave her a half-assed shrug as a reply. She snickered and bumped her shoulder into his "she really that bad, huh?"

Y/N couldn't see his whole face but she swore she saw a little smile tugging at his lips when she glanced at him. They smoked their cigarettes in silence. Van was finished first and waited for Y/N to finish hers. When she stumped hers out on the floor, however, she didn't stand up as he expected, instead, she did the opposite and surprised Van by swinging one of her legs over his and, in one swift move, straddled him. "Hi" she whispered into the darkness, barely making out Van's face with the missing source of light. "Hi" he whispered back, swallowing a lump in his throat. Y/N used her hands to feel her way up to his chest to his neck until she could feel his jawline beneath her palms. She caressed the skin of his cheeks with her thumbs. Van's heart was thumping in his chest as he placed his hands onto her waist, she was wearing a t-shirt and he hitched the hem up just slightly so his fingertips could make contact with her skin. Her breath hitched and she knew they were both on the same page. She thanked her lucky stars for it. She would have been humiliated if he had rejected her. Y/N moved her hips a little, purposely causing friction between their sexes. She could hear Van inhaling sharply as a result. She then pressed her lips onto his and he immediately responded, deepening the kiss almost instantly. His hands now vanished completely under her shirt, caressing her lower back with his palms. Y/N bucked her hips into his a couple of times more, making sure he knew exactly what she wanted. With one hand she reached down between them and felt the bulge forming in his pants. It strained against Van's tight jeans and he moaned into her mouth when she squeezed it a little. She could have jumped his bones right then and there but she had a better plan forming in her mind.

So, with one gentle but determined push against his chest, Y/N stopped everything she was doing and scurried up onto her feet. Leaving a very disoriented Van sitting on the floor. He was painfully aware of his erection in his pants and didn't dare move. She squatted down next to him again, placed a hand onto his jaw and cheek and quietly spoke into where she assumed was his ear "since you are so keen on playing hide and seek, let's turn this game around, shall we? If you can find and catch me, you get to take me home, deal?" She felt him nod slightly against her palm and with one last kiss onto his lips (well more the side of them cause she missed them in the dark) she sprung up and vanished towards the direction of the house.

She had a couple of minutes head start since Van needed to sort his straining bulge out first. Not only would people be able to see it against his tight jeans, but it was also painfully constrained. So he sat there in the darkness for a little longer, trying to breathe and calm his nerves, her little tease and the anticipation she built in him did not help his case. He had to scroll through his phone and distract himself until he could finally feel himself getting soft again. Once that was done, he made his way towards the house too.

Y/N was giddy, as soon as she entered the house, she went to the kitchen to pour herself a drink. She would need it. The excitement and thrill of their game bubbled inside her. She moved to the lounge, a good position to be in since the lounge had two entrances. One leading to the garden, the other leading to the hallway from where she could escape into the kitchen or out the front door. She tried to be as inconspicuous as she could be, joining her group of friends who were conveniently standing on the little platform that had served as a stage for a small local band earlier. She was trying to insert herself into their conversation but her attention was on both doors; as soon as she would see Van, she would have to bolt.

Minutes later, Van emerged from the second door, the one that leads to the hallway. Her heart jumped, she was expecting him to enter through the other door from the garden. Van was playing with her already. She got ready to dart between the people and out to the garden, but not before she made sure he had seen her enjoying their little game too.

His eyes met hers almost instantly as he entered the room, she grinned at him and raised her cup in salute. Van raised his own cup that he had gotten from the kitchen, a little smirk tugging at his lips as he was watching her next step carefully. There was no way he could catch her right now, not when there were at least 50 people standing between them. He would have to trap her differently. She progressed to say something to her friends before she slipped through the people and out the second door into the garden. Van didn't even bother to follow her. He went back to the kitchen where he assumed she would emerge again, sooner or later.

The kitchen had three doors. One leading out to the garden, one leading into the hallway and one leading down into the cellar. The third one was practically useless for him and Y/N, but the other two doors made the kitchen a good spot to hide and escape. Van was counting on catching her there and not anticipating to have to be the one to make use of the doors himself. Because that's what Van had to do when he saw the blonde-haired head sweeping through the door leading to the hallway. He had totally forgotten about the girl, his mind solely focused on finding Y/N. He quickly ducked out of the kitchen and decided to continue his search for her in the garden instead.

Y/N was in the back garden, chatting with a girl who managed to draw the best cat eye Y/N had ever seen. When she saw Van exiting out the kitchen door however, she excused herself quickly and vanished back inside into the lounge. Van wouldn't even have noticed if it wasn't for the cat-eye girl drunkenly shouting after her saying that it was nice to have talked. Van knew exactly it was her and where she would be headed and quickly darted after her.

When Y/N turned around to make sure Van wasn't all too close to her, she almost squealed with apprehension, fearing the game would be over way too soon as she saw he was only mere metres away from her. She dashed between people in the living room, muttering quick sorrys whenever she bumped into someone. Van was close, too close, and she knew he would catch her.

She was only saved because at this moment -as she was darting through people, Van hot on her heels- the blonde girl from earlier had been one of the people she leapt past. Van didn't even register the Blonde as he bolted past her, exhilarated by the knowledge that he would get a grasp of Y/N's arm any second now. But he was stopped by a manicured hand grasping his shoulder "Van? What the fuck? I was looking for you!" Van, ever the gentleman, stopped chasing after Y/N and turned to face the girl. His smile was faked but he managed to sputter out a weak apology, excusing his missing by the fact he had to take care of some family emergency over the phone. It was the most bullshit excuse anyone could ever have given anybody, but Van didn't care at that moment, all he wanted was to catch Y/N, take her home and make her pay for the teasing.

But once he freed himself from the Blonde's grasp, Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

When Y/N turned around again and saw that Van had miraculously vanished, she didn't quite dare to feel relieved yet. She fled into the kitchen where she was met with a grinning Bondy, pouring various juices and spirits into a cup while humming a tune she didn't recognise. He was obviously high as the sky. She would have loved to stay longer and chat to him, prod his mind while he was completely baked. But the apprehension of Van busting through the door and catching her kept her moving. She just smiled at him in greeting and vanished through the door into the garden.

Instead of walking back into the lounge and potentially right into the arms of Van though, she decided to saunter around the house outside. Ducking into bushes whenever people emerged from one of the doors. After a little while, she even grew bold enough to bum a cigarette from some guy smoking in the front garden.

But Van was still nowhere to be seen and it began to worry her. She knew it would probably lead to her demise but she had to make sure Van was still interested in their game and not distracted by something or someone else. She went into the lounge first, carefully staying right by the door in case Van was trying to set a trap, but she couldn't spot him. She anxiously leapt around the room, trying to get a better view, she even dared to jump onto the little makeshift stage, but there was no Van in sight. This was not how she envisioned this game going. He was supposed to look for her not the other way around. She grew annoyed with the situation and decided to go to the kitchen in hopes Bondy was still there.

Now that she knew Van wasn't nearby she wanted to strike up that potentially ridiculous conversation. Bondy fortuitously was still there, now joined by Sebastian who was suspiciously eyeing whatever concoction Bondy had mixed in his cup. When they both saw her entering, they smiled, Bondy's smile wider than that of the Cheshire Cat's. "Come and try the wondrous tincture I created with my own two magic-less hands" Bondy motioned to the cup into which he had probably poured half the beverages in the kitchen. Y/N eyed the cup with the same suspicion as Sebastian had eyed it and replied: "Nah thanks I'll pass." Sebastian laughed at Bondy as he pretended to be offended by her answer. "Are you really sure though?" Bondy asked dubiously and Y/N had a slight suspicion that something was off.

There was a little tingle in her neck and she quickly turned around when she saw Sebastian glancing at someone entering the kitchen from the basement door behind her. She was faced with an innocently smiling Van who opened his arms as if to motion her to give him a hug. He was so sure of himself that he even exclaimed a little "Gotcha".

But Y/N just yelped and darted away from him and out into the hallway, where she bolted out the front door instead of into the lounge. This was probably the mistake that led to her capture, because Van was fast, his long legs giving him an advantage. If she had darted into the lounge and between the people, she might have made an escape but now she was faced with the open space of the lawn. No people to duck behind. She didn't even make it halfway to the front gate as she felt a hand grab her t-shirt and then an arm wrap around her torso pulling her back flush against his chest. Both his arms wrapped themselves around her front restraining her from moving just one centimetre away from him. She could feel his chest rising and falling against her back and felt his hot breath tickling her neck as he whispered: "No more running, you are mine for tonight."

She squirmed in his arms and he loosened his grip just enough for her to turn around and face him. She wriggled her arms free from his restraint and wrapped them around his neck.

Now that the thrill of the chase was over, a new thrill rose within her. "Take me back to yours then," she murmured before pressing her lips onto his. Van immediately reciprocated her kiss. His arms still wrapped tightly around her. He could have fucked her right then and there, on the spot, but he called an Uber instead. The 5 minutes they had to wait for their driver to arrive were spent with lips on each other and hands sneaking into places they shouldn't sneak to in public. Lucky for them, no one seemed to give them any mind.

As they heard a car approach, they separated themselves from each other. Van opened the door for her and got in on the other side. They purposefully stayed on their sides of the car for the first five minutes of the car ride, Van exchanging pleasantries with their driver. Y/N slowly grew tired, the movement and darkness of the car lulled her in and the adrenaline of their little game subsided.

Van's flat was still 20 minutes away when she decided to scoot closer and lay her head on his shoulder. The seat belt didn't allow her too much comfort though. Van extended his hand for her to hold, wanting this car ride to be over already. She took his hand in hers but instead of interweaving their fingers, she placed the back of his hand onto her palm so that his palm was facing upwards as if she wanted to read from it. With her other hand, she began to lightly trace the lines with her fingertips, making patterns and moving up to trace his fingers too. She was fascinated by his fingers, they were so long and calloused from playing the guitar. She was entranced by his whole hand, not able to stop touching it.

He wasn't quite sure if she did it on purpose or if she had no idea what her slight touches were doing to him. He had to swallow hard and was thankful for the darkness in the car since he was sure the bulge in his pants was overly prominent. He repressed the urge to withdraw his hand, his nerves growing more and more sensitive to her tracing, his penis growing stiffer and stiffer. He just wanted to get home and finally fuck her senseless.

When the car finally stopped in front of the terraced house in which Van's flat was located, Van jumped out of the car with a quick "cheers mate" directed towards the driver. Y/N nodded at the man in the driver's seat and got out herself while Van was already halfway to the front door of the house. As she caught up to him he had already opened the door and ushered her inside. As soon as the door closed and both of them were out of sight, Y/N pressed herself against Van, not even attempting to make it up the stairs first before she crashed her lips against his. She could feel his bulge against her hips and smiled against his lips, happy that the car ride did nothing to extinguish his excitement. Van knew that if he would let her have her way, he would come undone in the hallway right then and there, so he pulled away from her embrace, took her hand and pulled her up the stairs with him. He swiftly opened the front door to his flat, steered her inside and shut the door with his foot as his lips found hers again immediately.

Shoes were kicked off and jackets were thrown onto the floor as they stumbled into the bedroom, still attached to each other's lips. T-shirts were removed eagerly and pants pulled down with impatience. Within a minute both Van and Y/N were naked and laying on the bed, Van above her guiding his penis towards her entrance, he moved inside her and moaned at the warm wetness enveloping his tip, then he pushed in fully and the tiny gasp of Y/N almost made him lose it already. He wanted to start slow but her moans and his need to finally get some release made him pound into her relentlessly. Three minutes later and he came undone inside of her, moaning and gasping, bathing in the sweet relief of his orgasm.

Y/N was breathless and overwhelmed by his need for her. He almost came instantly. His face was heavenly as he came inside her, mouth opened, eyes screwed shut, a low groan from deep inside his chest. It was almost enough to make her come too... almost.

When he was done, he dropped on his back beside her, eyes still closed. She lay there for a moment overwhelmed by what just happened, the lust, the need, the desire they shared. It was stronger than she had ever experienced with someone else.

When Y/N shifted her body to lay on her side and to look at him, Van draped an arm over his eyes, displaying his axillary hair but not giving her any eye contact. He was still breathing heavily but otherwise did not move. Just lying on his back, face halfway hidden under his arm. Y/N didn't know what to do. The atmosphere had suddenly shifted dramatically. She was contemplating to just stand up and leave since it seemed like Van did not want to interact with her anymore. Maybe, now that he had gotten his relief, he was done with her. Or maybe he was let down by their final intercourse; after all, Y/N had been fixing him up and teasing him throughout the night, just to deliver a disappointing ending. Some sort of panic rose within her, she didn't want to leave like that, didn't want Van to remember her this way, whenever he might think back to their encounter.

She swallowed the lump of nervousness in her throat and scooted closer, her eyes helplessly roaming over Van's gloriously naked body. "Van?" she asked softly. No reply, only his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Her heart began to flutter in fear of rejection. If he wanted her gone, he would have to say so, though, she decided. She scooted even closer to his body, her stomach touching his side, and tried to remove his arm from his eyes. He first resisted but then let her remove it, stretched it away from him so she could snuggle into his arm if she wanted to. He kept his eyes closed though. "Van" she spoke again and sighed as she moved her naked body even closer to his so that she could drape half of herself over him. She rested her chin on top of her hand that was lying flat on his chest, almost touching his necklace but not quite. She could feel his heart beating fast, but her's was beating faster with fear he could push her away.

But instead, Van moved his arms to embrace her. He inhaled deeply and Y/N's head moved up with his chest. Then he opened his eyes. Y/N smiled at him, relieved that he wasn't rejecting her. "Hi," she said while looking into his blue orbs. Van moved positions as a response. He turned so that he was laying on his side as well, but making sure he was pulling her closer to him. He wrapped one leg around hers and buried his face into the crook of her neck. "You ok?" She whispered and tried to pull his head away from her neck to look him in the eyes but he wouldn't let her move it. Instead, he began to kiss and lick the skin available to him. She could feel his teeth grazing it every now and then too. He began sucking and biting soon after and she was sure he would leave her with hickeys.

His hand that was caressing her back, moved southwards until it reached her butt, he squeezed one cheek and continued to move it between their bodies until his fingers reached her clit. He began rubbing it slowly and Y/N sighed out a moan. He pushed her onto her back gently, his lips leaving her neck to explore her nipples while he was still circling the nub of nerves between her legs. She took hold of his penis but Van grabbed her wrist to stop her "Let me take care of you now, yeah?" She nodded and let him go, clutching the bedsheets instead as his fingers picked up speed.

Because what she didn't know, was that Van wasn't disappointed in her, but he was ashamed of himself. He came so fast and selfishly that he didn't even consider how she must have felt with him pounding into her like a piece of meat. He was embarrassed and didn't want to face her, didn't want to see her offended frown while she would grab her stuff and leave his flat. But she didn't leave, instead, she surprised him by cuddling up next to him, asking if he was ok when he should have been the one to make sure she was fine. He wanted to make sure she felt as amazing as she had made him feel. Wanted to see her face while he unravelled her. He pushed two fingers inside and curled them, keeping the movement on her clit with his thumb at the same time. She gasped and moaned as his movements grew faster and faster, he could feel himself getting hard again by just watching her like this. She arched her back, opened her mouth and then came around his fingers, moaning and shaking as he kept moving, milking her orgasm until she grabbed his wrist to make him stop because her she got too sensitive for his touch.

He kissed her then, his lips caressing hers gently, feeling her exhilarated breath on his skin. She draped her arms around him and he moved on top of her, putting the full weight of his body onto hers. She managed to spread her legs beneath him and wrapped them around his torso. Her hands roaming down his back. She sighed his name when she felt his growing erection on her stomach. "Fuck me" she whispered and Van was more than eager to obey, this time making sure she came before him.

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

Now what? After 3 weeks of protests and educating ourselves and educating others, how do we keep the momentum going for this civil rights movement? How do we make permanent change?

X

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

The Affair (Part 1)

Summary: y/n and Van meet for the first time at a party. Chemistry is instant and they find themselves spending the night together.

Ya'll this is filthy af, so read at your own risk, k? Smut smut smut. Van x Reader 1 of 3

Note: ok so I wrote this a while ago and wasn’t sure if I should publish this. But then I remebered that I also enjoy a bit of smut every now and then. So i decided I’m just gonna put these three parts out there, inwardly cringe a little and the move forward.

ok, that’s all. enjoy at your own risk.

----

The first time they met:

It was at a party. A friend of a friend of a friend or something. Y/N had no idea whose party it was, but she didn't really care either. All she knew was that Sebastian - Esther's new boyfriend - invited them. Esther was Y/N's flatmate and became one of her closest friends since living together for three years.

But back to how they first met, Van and Y/N. It was at this aforementioned party:

The party was held in a house somewhere in a fancy neighbourhood in North London. One could see it was fancy by the cars that were parked on the streets, everything from Land Rover SUVs to Porsches. But this also meant that whoever hosted the party had money; money that would be well spent on alcohol and snacks, which instantly guaranteed the party to be a full success.

When Y/N first entered the house and saw Van, her heart skipped a beat with excitement. She knew who he was, had heard of Catfish and the Bottlemen, and even went to one of their gigs once. He was standing and talking to a group of people a little aside of what was later to become the dance floor in the lounge. He wore all black and had a beer in his hand, smiling and nodding along to the conversation he held with the people. He didn't look like the rockstar she remembered on stage. He looked like a normal dude at a party and yet there was something mesmerising about his presence.

Y/N didn't arrive with Esther and Sebastian because her workplace had her working late, not that she minded. She loved her job. But it meant that she arrived at the party in a stranger's house without knowing where her friends were. The fact that Van McCann was at the same party didn't make things any easier. She just got more nervous. She tried to find her friends in the kitchen first, and while she was already there, poured herself some of the expensive-looking vodka and mixed it with O. Of course, they weren't in there. She never had been that lucky, so she made her way through the hallway and back towards the open-spaced lounge. The house was massive and she feared she wouldn't be able to find her friends at all.

She sipped on her drink and stepped around people, smiling when her eyes met theirs. She didn't have to search long though. Her eyes -which were automatically glancing in the direction of where they last spotted Van when she first entered the house- suddenly found the messy mop of Sebastian's honey blonde hair right next to the lead singer himself. He definitely hadn't been standing there before.

Y/N's heart began pounding rapidly. This meant Sebastian somehow knew Van. And it meant that if she went towards their group, she would be introduced to him and, maybe, the rest of the band. She gulped down half her cup of vodka and O and made her way to the group. Esther, who was standing next to Sebastian, squealed with joy when she saw Y/N coming their way. "You made it!" she hugged her close and pulled her into the circle of their group. "This is Y/N. The best flatmate anyone could share a flat with, I swear!" It seemed like Esther was already slightly intoxicated because she seemed way more excited about Y/N's arrival than it was necessary, making Y/N blush and take another sip from her cup before awkwardly replying "Hiya". The guys in their circle of conversation introduced themselves as Larry, Johnny Bond ("but Bondy is fine"), Van and Benji. They were discussing something Y/N had no idea about. She didn't mind though. This way she could muster them all a little closer. When her eyes landed on Van and remained on him for a little longer, his eyes met hers. She smiled shyly and he smiled back, instantly causing her smile to become wider. That's how their connection started and as the hours of the night progressed, so did the number of drinks that Y/N and Van were downing together. ...

She somehow managed to end up outside in the back garden, sharing a joint with Van. They had to do it in hiding because Y/N, bolder thanks to the booze in her system, had been pick-pocketing the joint from some drunk German dude who had been boasting about it prior. It was a miracle that no one had found them yet since they were unable to stop themselves from snickering and laughing while smoking some German guy's weed. When they finished their smoke, eyes glassy and slightly red-rimmed, and Y/N was about to make them get up and go back inside, Van decided to make his move: "wanna ditch the party and go back to mine?"

Y/N could feel herself blushing but she smiled knowingly, bit her lip in a flirty attempt and nodded coyly. So an Uber was called and a quick "bye" was exchanged with their friends.

Van's flat wasn't all that far away, it took them about 25 minutes till Van opened the front door to his one-bedroom flat. It was... minimalistic. It had the necessary furniture in it, some black and white prints, a couple of guitars leant against the wall, and a stereo with a turntable plus a tower of records next to it, but other than that it was completely devoid of any decorations. "It's... nice." Y/N grinned at Van, fully knowing he knew she was lying. "Yeah well, I'm gone most of the time anyway, innit? And when I get a coupl'a days off I'd rather spend them with me family up north, so this really is just for when the lads and I 'ave to be in London for work, see." Y/N grinned at his need to justify his crappy flat and instead of replying, placed her arms on his shoulders and around his neck. Van instantly relaxed into her suggestion and placed his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Y/N could have sworn he was able to feel her erratic heartbeat, but if he did, he didn't acknowledge it. He slowly moved his head down to hers and she closed the space by tilting her head up and letting her lips meet his. He had been chewing gum on their drive back and Y/N mentally kicked herself for not asking for one too. He still tasted minty but had spit it out into the bushes before they made their way up to his flat, so that she could taste a bit of him too. Their lips moved together like they were made for each other and when she felt his tongue grace her lips she broke the kiss and whispered "bedroom?" He ushered her into his bedroom which was just as bare as the rest of the flat. Instead of turning the big light on though, he went to the bedside table and turned on the little lamp while Y/N went back into the hallway to turn off the lights there. The bedroom was cast in a warm but dim light and Van began unbuttoning his shirt while kicking off his boots. He made it all the way to the first three buttons when Y/N stilled his hands by grabbing his wrists and pulling them away from his shirt. "Let me," she said and began to slowly unbutton them for him, revealing more and more of his chest hair and necklace, and then the little happy trail vanishing under the band of his boxers that were peaking out of his jeans. When she unbuttoned it all, she pushed the fabric off of his shoulders and marvelled at the sight in front of her. She was really going to have sex with Van fucking McCann. Van, however, wanted to see her out of her clothes too. So he took hold of the hem of her t-shirt and pushed it up, signalling her to lift her arms, which she did. One swift move and she was standing in front of him with her lacy black bra. She was so fucking glad she had shaved and put on her good undies this morning. Hoping something like this would happen, not knowing it would be with a rockstar.

Next were the pants, however both Van's and her's were tight so they both got out of them without help from the other, taking off their socks in the same movement, until they stood in front of each other in only their underwear. Van was looking her up and down which made Y/N a bit uncomfortable, so she stepped forward and pulled his head down with one of her hands on the back of his neck to kiss him. This way he wouldn't be able to ogle her and all her imperfections. He obviously took this as a sign to move things along and grabbed her waist to pull her hips flush against his. She could feel the bulge in his boxers and with the other hand, she reached down and stroked him through the fabric making him moan a little into her mouth. He sat down on the bed and took her with him so she was straddling him. She moved her hips into his, causing friction between their sexes, and provoking them both to breath heavily into each other's mouth.

"Fuck" she gasped as Van's hand reached into her panties and began to spread her wetness along her entrance. He hummed in satisfaction. His movements were slow but electrifying and Y/N tried to push herself onto his hand. He withdrew his hand however and moved her fully onto the bed and crawled above her. His golden necklace dangled in front of her face. She slung her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck and pulled him down, on top of her. His lips found her neck and began licking and sucking the skin there, making their way down to her collarbone and then to her breasts which were still covered by her bra. She noticed and arched her back so she could reach and unclasp it. One swift move and her breasts were free and available for Van to explore further. His lips kissed their way to her left nipple and she could feel his teeth scrape her skin. She moaned and arched her back into his touch. She wanted more; more Van, more touch, more of his skin on hers. She bucked her hips into his and tried to free his bum from his boxer. He got the hint and helped her push his underpants off. He leaned above her again then and opened the drawer of his bedside table to grab a condom. No ten seconds later he had opened it and pushed it over his erect penis. All the while Y/N had removed her panties in eagerness. Van positioned himself over her again but before he moved to push himself inside he asked: "are you ok?" Y/N smiled, glad he was making sure she was still on board, and then nodded. He pushed himself inside and she gasped at the sensation. He stayed like this for a couple of seconds, letting her adjust to him and then slowly moved halfway out and then back in. He went slow at first, letting them get a feel for each other.

When their breathing began to synchronise Van bucked his hips into her faster and faster. His pubes rubbed against her clit with every movement and she could feel herself building up. "Van" she moaned simply because she could. She clutched his back and Van's movements became even faster and more erratic, both their breathing picking up speed. "Fuck. Fuck yes, Van." she panted. He reached down and began rubbing her clit with his fingers while drawing in and out of her relentlessly. "Van! Shit, Van, I'm gonna cum" she screwed her eyes shut and moaned as she felt herself falling over the edge of her orgasm and convulse around him. The contracting muscles and moans of her orgasm were bringing him over the edge too. He came, thrusting a couple more times to milk both their orgasms. Stilling his movements and pulling out, he collapsed on the mattress next to her. After a couple of moments of silence in which they both tried to catch their breaths, he removed the condom and carelessly dropped it onto the floor next to bed.

They didn't say anything, the silence continued and she wasn't quite sure what to do. Should she stay or leave? How much longer should she wait till leaving? Did he expect her to leave now? She turned around on her side to face Van, who was still facing the ceiling. When he heard her shifting however, he moved his head to look at her. "I'd better be going, right?" She asked but didn't make any preparations to do so. Van turned his body to fully face her too and brushed a strand of hair from her face behind her ear. "You don't have to, I wouldn't mind if you stay. Maybe have a second and third round later?" Y/N couldn't hide the relieved smile crossing her lips and Van moved to pull the duvet, that was laying crumpled at the end of the bed, over their naked bodies. She snuggled herself into his arm that he had draped behind her head and placed her arm on his stomach and chest, feeling his chest hair between her fingers, ignoring the necklace that sat on his collarbone. It seemed too holy for her to touch.

Her heart was beating faster than ever, every fibre of her skin that was touching Van's seemed to be ten times more sensitive. She draped one leg over his and could feel his leg hair brushing against the skin of her inner thigh. They lay there like that for some time, not moving except Van stroking her back occasionally with the hand that was draped around her, and Y/N drawing patterns into his chest hair.

She must have fallen asleep because the next time she opened her eyes the room was dark and Van was lightly snoring next to her. For a second she thought about grabbing her clothes and leaving, making it less awkward for them in the morning. But the bed was warm and the thought of stumbling around in the dark room and potentially waking Van anyway kept her put. She carefully felt for Van's body. He was sleeping on his side, facing her, as her hand found his waist. She gently moved her hand upwards, feeling his arm, then shoulder until she reached the nape of his neck. That's when she heard him sigh in his sleep. She was careful not to move her hand and wake him, but it was too late as she felt him move beneath her touch. She felt his arm wrap around her torso, pulling her into his body. As he moved his head and nuzzled it into her neck, she could feel his hot breath on her skin. It gave her goosebumps and sparked new lust between her legs. When he lazily began kissing the skin of her neck, she removed the hand that was resting on his neck and moved it southwards. Down his back, over his shoulder blades, along the spine, over his buttocks, and then reached between their bodies to take him into her hand. She could feel him take a sharp inhale when she grabbed him and started to stroke him up and down, teasing his tip with her thumb. He was quickly getting hard and she moved to drape one leg over his hips, guiding his penis over her wetness. All the while Van's head was still nestled on the pillow close to her neck so she could feel his breathing change with pleasure. Needless to say that round two was much more gentle and slow, both of them being slowed down by darkness and their previous exhaustion.

In the morning, Y/N was woken by Van's hand caressing her waist. She was laying on her side, facing away from him and when she turned around to face Van, he was already gently and tiredly smiling at her. His hand found its way between her legs and she gasped when he found her clit with ease and started circling it with his finger. She scooted closer to him, wanting to be as close as possible. She began to move her hand towards his penis just to find it already erect. As soon as she grabbed it, Van slipped a finger inside her and a moan escaped her mouth. She lifted her upper leg to allow Van more access and to wrap it around him, but Van wouldn't have it, he pushed it away and in the same movement manoeuvred her to lie on her back. He climbed on top, ready to push himself inside when he suddenly realised that he was missing a condom, in fact, he remembered he was missing a condom during the second round in the night too. Y/N noticed him halting and looked up at him to find his face contorted with worry. "Everything ok?" she asked. "We didn't use a condom." Van breathed out and let himself fall face first into the mattress next to her (making sure his hips were facing sideways though, because that would have been painful). Y/N observed his discomfort and moved to lie on her side again, head propped up by her arm and elbow. She drew a random pattern on his back with her index finger and said: "I'm on birth control, and last time I went to the gynaecologist I got tested and came out negative. No STD's, no AIDS... If you are worried about that." Van moved his head to look at her. "You are not freaked out then?" He asked and after seeing that Y/N was completely calm, turned his whole body to face her again. She shrugged as good as she could in her position. "If you can promise me you don't have STD's or AIDS either, I'm not freaked out." She replied. Van shook his head, "No STD's that I'm aware off, have never been tested for AIDS though." Y/N trusted that he was telling the truth and leaned forward to press her lips onto his, signalling him that it was ok for them to continue without a condom.

For her, it didn't really feel any different without it, but for Van, it felt way more intense, the awareness of being inside her heightened. When he came and collapsed onto her, panting, he kissed her gently. He didn't pull out right away, instead, he savoured the moment, knowing that this was the last time.

They wouldn't see each other again. This was just a one night stand, although one of the best he ever had.

When he rolled off of her with a satisfied sigh and lay back on the mattress, facing the ceiling, eyes closed, Y/N took that as her cue to get going. She rolled out of bed, collected her clothes from the floor and vanished into the only door she hadn't entered yet in the hope it was the bathroom. She got dressed and tried to comb through her hair with her fingers. When she emerged from the bathroom fully clothed and entered back into the bedroom to get her shoes, Van was still lying in bed, duvet draped over his lower half, giving Y/N one last delicious view of his torso and upper body. He didn't stop her, just watched, as she sat on the edge of the bed to tie her shoes. When she was done and ready to leave, she stood up, faced Van and said: "Well then, was nice meeting you." She smiled slyly, knowing very well that the phrase was a massive understatement. Van's lips twitched into an amused smile as well as he answered "Likewise". Y/N turned around then and left the bedroom and seconds later the flat, as Van heard the front door open and close and steps vanishing down the staircase.

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

this is what happens when boredom and insomnia meet each other 

lmao this started as a joke but then i took it too far and now here we are

hope ya’ll enjoy

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

Fuck ‘em

Summary: Reader is plagued by self-doubt. Van tries to convince her of the opposite. 

Fluff (?), Van x Reader

One Shot

He came home. Tired. Drained of energy. But happy to spend the rest of the evening with her. 

He had been standing and recording all day. He just wanted to slouch down on their couch, next to her, and relax. But as he opened the front door, something was amiss. She wasn't in the lounge, no sounds from the kitchen either. Van frowned as he hung his jacket on the hook in the hallway and kicked off his boots. Normally she was sitting in the lounge whenever he came home. Watching Netflix, working, or reading a book. The fact that everything lay quiet worried him a little. He could see she was home though. Her coat hung in the hallway, her key was lying in their key bowl.

He made his way upstairs to their bedroom. The door was closed and he opened it carefully in case she was sleeping. The curtains weren't drawn shut but she was lying motionless in the middle of their bed. Blanket drawn up to her chin. Facing the window. Her back towards him.

"Y/N?" Van asked softly. She didn't turn around and he carefully stepped closer and around the bed to see if she was awake. Her eyes met his as soon as he was in front of her. "Hey" he spoke tenderly. Her eyes were red-rimmed and wet. He squatted down in front of the bed so his eyes were level with hers. He placed his arms on the mattress and settled his chin on top of them. "What's going on?" He whispered. She stretched out her arm towards him and Van instantly got up and crawled under the blanket with her. Not caring that he was still in his jeans and probably smelling like cigarette smoke from all the smoking he had done that day. She cuddled herself into him and he held her in his arms. She smelled like her favourite Lush bath bomb. He brushed his hand through her hair. Knowing that she will talk when she is ready to.

She didn't talk for a whole while. Just lay there cuddled into him. Breathing softly. "Van?" She whispered eventually. "Yes, love?" He whispered back. "Are you still going somewhere?" She asked. He was confused "No, why?" "You're still in your jeans." She observed. He almost smiled. "Don't want to let go of you when you're like this." He answered softly. "I'm fine." She mumbled. He frowned. She clearly wasn't. He let go of her anyway and pulled off his jeans. He also pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor together with the pants. When he lay back down, he pressed his body back into hers. Now with more skin on skin contact. Both their legs were bare and she rubbed her cold feet along his calves. "Are you gonna tell me what happened?" He asked softly. She shook her head no. "I'm fine." Van sighed. "Don't lie to me, Y/N. It's fine if you don't wanna tell me, but don't lie to me, saying you're fine." She swallowed audibly. When he looked down at her he could see a fresh tear rolling down her cheek. "Hey. Hey, I'm sorry." He hugged her closer and she pressed her face into his chest.

"I'm a failure." She whispered. He almost missed it. But only almost. "What? Who said that?" He frowned and tried to pull her face away from his chest so he could look her in the eyes. She wouldn't let him. "Y/N, listen. You are not a failure." When he realised she wouldn't let him look at her, he just hugged her even closer, even tighter. "Jesus. Why would you ever think that?" He whispered, more to himself than to her. "Because I am." She replied quietly. He could feel the warm wetness of her tears on his bare chest and had to remind himself to breath. His heart ached. "You are not. Listen, you are the strongest woman I know. The bravest. The smartest. The most talented. You are so so so much. But a failure is definitely not one of the things you are." He brushed his hands up and down her back, wanting to comfort her, not knowing how. "You have to say that because you are my boyfriend." She muttered against his skin. Her arms were tightly clutched around him. Holding onto him as if he was a safety buoy and she was about to drown. "I am your boyfriend because you are those things." He kissed the crown of her head.

"Why do I get one rejection after the other then?" Her voice broke. Van clenched his jaw. So that was what this was about. He knew the feeling all too well. He hated that she doubted herself. Wanted her to see how great she really was. How he saw her. "Because those people are idiots. If they can't see how great you are then that's on them. Not you." He said and brushed his fingers through her hair. She moved her head from his chest to his neck. Still not letting him see her eyes. "What if it is me, though? What if I'm just not good enough?" She whispered into his neck. He rubbed his cheek along hers. Trying to lean back so he could press his lips against hers. She wouldn't let him though. Remained uncooperative. Her face pressed against his neck. Her lips gracing his weak spot.

"Fuck, Y/N. You are good enough. You are more than good enough. I don't know what to tell you, to make you believe me but I promise you, you are good at what you do, you are brilliant and smart and talented. And I'm not just saying this because I love you. I love you because of it. Because I think you are the greatest person on this planet. And if they can't see that, then fuck 'em, ok? Fuck what they think. There will be people who will recognise your brilliance. And those are the people that count. Fuck the rest of 'em." He decided he was done with letting her hide from him and pulled her face from his neck with a little more effort. He placed both his hands on the sides of her head and made her look at him. Her eyes were wet and red and swollen. Her lips swollen too. There were a few red patches on her skin around the eyes. Evidence that she must have been crying even harder before he came home. The thought almost brought tears to his own eyes. "You are so so so strong." He told her, looking straight into her eyes. "And brave." He brought her head down to his and placed her forehead against his. Their noses squishing each other. "And smart." His hands wandered from the side of her face down to her shoulders. "And talented." His hands found her waist and he pulled her on top of him. She steadied herself. Her arms found a way around his neck. Her hands supporting his head. Her fingers digging into his hair, massaging his scalp. She finally kissed him then. Pressed her lips onto his. It wasn't very gentle. He could feel how much she needed him. He slung his arms around her whole back. Hugged her as tightly as he could. Pressed her body against his. So she would know he had her covered. He wouldn't let go of her. Never. He wanted her to know that she was safe with him. Loved. Adored. Cherished. Worshipped. "You are amazing, ey?" He assured her softly, after she had broken their kiss and buried her face in his neck again. His grip loosened and he caressed her back with his hands. Enjoying her weight on him. "And if they can't see that, then that's their fault. Not yours." He could feel her nodding. He inhaled deeply. Relieved. It made her body rise up with his chest. When he exhaled, she removed her face from his neck and looked at him. "Thank you." She mumbled. He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes and smiled. She smiled back. She started tracing a finger over his face. It moved over his forehead and along his eyebrows. He closed his eyes and she caressed his eyelids. Then down his nose. He opened his eyes again. Over his cheek. Along his jawline. Reaching his lips. She brushed over them lightly before leaning down and pressing her own lips onto them. This time her kiss was much more gentle. He knew the worst was over. She was slowly coming back. He wasn't, however, ready to let her go yet. He rolled their bodies over, so that he was on top of her now. She slung both her arms around his shoulder and her legs around his waist. He smiled into their kiss. Exactly knowing how he wanted to spend the rest of the evening with her. Showing her just how much he cherished and adored her.

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reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

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oi guys for the love of fuck, i’m not gonna be nice about it

if you’re a non black poc, or worse, white, do not fucking make this about you. do not make it about aesthetics. do not make it about anything other than it is.

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— 270517

one year of the ride

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Anis Mojgani, from “Here I Am”, Songs from Under the River: A Collection of Poetry

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Masterlist

Mistakes Series: (Angst, Van x Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

The Affair Series: (Smut, Van x Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

One Shots:

Welcome Home (Fluff, Van x Reader)

Fuck ‘em (Fluff, Van x Reader)

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Welcome Home

Summary: “The biggest grin began stretching across his face and Y/N decided to just fuck the railing and climb through it. Seconds later she was in his arms. His hug was tight and warm. His smell surrounded her and her eyes began burning with tears. Only now did she realise how much she really missed it. His smell. His hugs. His warmth. Him.”

Fluff, Van x Reader

One Shot

She looked at the info screen for the arrivals. The flight from Los Angeles had already landed, it said the bags were arriving. She sighed in relief. She wasn't too late then. The traffic to the airport had been disastrous and she had cursed London for being such a busy bitch all the way to the terminal. Afraid she would miss him.

She didn't tell Van she was going to pick him up. She wanted to surprise him. Only Bondy knew. He had been providing her with their flight details. Now she was standing in front of the International Arrivals exit. Holding a cardboard sign in her hand, his name written on it. Normally she wasn't one for grand romantic gestures like this, but she had missed Van while he was on tour and she wanted to show him just how much. Because she knew that, unlike her, he was a sucker for these kinds of grand romantic gestures. The status of their flight changed to bags delivered and Y/N's heart started picking up speed. She held up her crappy cardboard sign and waited. People started walking out of the exit. Her heart began pounding faster and faster. Only a couple of minutes and she would be in his arms again.

She saw him before he saw her. He was looking down on his phone, frowning. There was a railing between them or else she would have run right to him. It didn't take him long to spot her and her stupid sign too though. She had positioned herself right in front of the exit doors. The biggest grin began stretching across his face and Y/N decided to just fuck the railing and climb through it. Seconds later she was in his arms. His hug was tight and warm. His smell surrounded her and her eyes began burning with tears. Only now did she realise how much she really missed it. His smell. His hugs. His warmth. Him. "Hi, love." He mumbled into her neck. "Hi." She choked out. He leaned back and took her head between his hands. Her arms remained tightly around him. She could feel his warm calloused fingers on her skin and beamed at him. "Why are you crying?" He laughed a little. "I just missed you so much." She sniffed. "Stop. You're making me cry too." He chuckled but she could see his eyes getting glassy. She removed her arms from around his waist and slung them around his neck. Pulling his face closer to her. He pressed his mouth onto hers and she smiled into their kiss. "I missed you too." He mumbled against her lips.

She heard someone clearing their throat, causing her to lean back and glance in the direction of the sound. Her cheeks heated with the realisation of their shameless PDA-ing. Bondy stood a little aside and when she looked at him he smiled at her. She let go of Van and opened her arms to welcome Bondy into them. He squeezed her back briefly, almost as tightly as Van. "Welcome back and thank you, again." She told him when they loosened their hug. "Of course." He smiled at her.

...

It was late afternoon already. As soon as they had arrived home, Van had taken a shower and then went straight to bed. Y/N had been cuddling him, brushing her fingers through his long hair, until his breathing evened out and she was sure he was fast asleep. She couldn't sleep yet, so she got up, retrieved her headphones and phone from downstairs and crawled back into their bed. She quietly listened to music while he was sleeping next to her. His face was so peaceful. The room was darkened by their curtains or else she would have been able to count his freckles. She was sure he had gotten new ones under the Californian sun. She had to fight hard against the urge to trace her fingers along the lines of his face. His nose. His jaw. Cheeks. Eyebrows. Lips. But the tiredness that was still visible under his eyes stopped her. She knew he needed every second of sleep. He probably hadn't slept properly for the whole duration of the tour. Convinced he could survive on three hours a night.

...

She was woken by his hand lightly brushing up and down her arm. When she opened her eyes, he was tiredly smiling at her already. "Mornin'" he mumbled and leaned closer to kiss her. "Mornin'" she mumbled back against his lips and slung her arm over him, deepening the kiss. ... "God, I missed you so much." He sighed, laying on his back, tracing patterns on her shoulder, while she was resting her head on his bare chest, toying with his necklace. Loving the feel of his chest hair beneath her cheek. "You just missed sex." She teased. He snorted and pinched her slightly. "Please, I could get sex whenever I want. I'm a rockstar." She raised her head to look at him, both brows raised "is that so?" He grinned "but I don't because I love you and no sex is as good and will ever be as good as ours. You and I, baby, we make the best sex." She moved her hand up towards his face to pinch one of his cheeks. "Nice save." He laughed softly and smiled at her. God, she was in love with that man so fucking much, she could burst with joy and happiness. "I'm gonna make pancakes now." she pecked his lips and got ready to lift herself off of him but he had a different plan. Van slung both his arms around her and pulled her even further on top of him, trapping her body on his. She laughed "Van. Come on." He shook his head and grinned at her "Can't let you go. Sorry." "You must be hungry." She reasoned and wriggled one arm free to brush some strands of his hair from his eyes. It's the reason she loved him with long hair. It gave her an excuse to touch his face repeatedly. "Not as hungry as I am for you." He muttered and she laughed. "Ok, you big gross cheeseball, that's it. Let me go before I vomit on you." Van laughed but let her go. She put one of his t-shirts on and pulled some panties from the drawer, before she made her way down to the kitchen. Van remained in bed for five more minutes before putting some boxers on and joining her downstairs.

She was whisking the pancake batter and humming along to a song on the radio that was playing in a corner. Van sneaked up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. She wasn't surprised by this. Just smiled and continued whisking. "I love you," Van muttered into her ear. "I know." Her smile grew even wider. "I love you more." Van snorted in amusement. "Don't think that's possible, love." She put the bowl of batter on the countertop and turned around in his arms. Facing him. Placing her arms around his shoulders. "I love you so much, I would sacrifice everything for you." "I love you so much that I wouldn't let you," Van replied earnestly but smiling. "I know, that's why I love you so god damn much." She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek caressing the dark skin under his eye with her thumb. He was so beautiful and sweet and she wouldn't know what to do without him.

"I would sacrifice the band for you." Van blurted. She frowned and took her hand from his face. "I would never let you do that," she said. She knew how much Catfish meant to him. How hard he was working for it. How hard he had been working to get to the point they are now. His confession scared her a little. "I know, that's why I love you so god damn fucking much, much more than you will ever know." His arms tightened around her. "You putting yourself behind the band, it breaks my fucking heart sometimes, y'know. I don't want you to think you are less important. Without you, I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing right now. I would be one big fucking mess." He looked at her all earnestly. Wanting her to know how serious he was. That he meant it. "Don't say that. You would be alright. Maybe a little more overworked. But alright." She hugged him back tighter. Van shook his head. "You have ruined me for life, lady. Now that I know what it feels like to be loved by you, I don't want anything else. I need it. It's like an addiction. Just the thought of being without you-, see, I can't even imagine it." She smiled at him. Touched by his words. Her heart was full of love and adoration for him. It almost hurt how much she loved him. "I love you." She didn't know what else to say. She wanted to say so much more. But she didn't know the words that could describe how much she loved him. Didn't know if there even were words that could describe it. "I love you more." Van echoed her earlier response and she grinned at him.

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T H E R I D E • 27 MAY 2016

🎉 happy bday to this gem of an album! 🎉